The True Story of Ross Geller
by Jennifer10
Summary: Alright people...It's Ross' turn. Once again, it aligns with the stories of Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Rachel. It begins in 1976 and then goes until 2004-ish. Read, review, have fun! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

September 1976

He was tall for his age. He had always gotten that. Tall for his age, that's what he had always been told. That's what the doctors said. Tall, quiet and serious. His nose always in a book, preferably one about dinosaurs. He was only in second grade but he was reading way above grade level and he was reading a grown-up book about brontosauruses when he saw her for the first time. He was sitting at the lunch tables, his book wide open, when he looked up and saw the tiny brunette sitting with his sister. Monica always seemed to have a new friend. That friend would be with her for a few days and then leave and that's what seemed to be happening now. He watched as Mindy, Sharon and Nancy, those three mean girls in his sister's class, walked over to her and then the tiny brunette got up and walked off with the three girls leaving Monica looking sad. He contemplated getting up and sitting with her, but she always sat alone although never for long. She always had another friend come along.

The Geller kids were not considered popular, not considered cool and Ross accepted that. His sister was having a more difficult time accepting that. Ross had two friends which he was fine with. Some might say that he had a very mature outlook for someone his age. He was fine with his two buddies, no need for more.

"Look what I found?" Will Colbert said, sitting across him and dumping a bunch of rocks on the table. Will was a classmate of Ross'. He was heavy set but with a handsome face that made him attractive to a lot of the girls and was one of his closest friends. One of two.

"Rocks."

"How cool would this be for the volcano. Actual rocks," Will said.

Ross smiled, picking up a rock and turning it in his hand. He and Will had come across a terrific idea. They would be making a volcano but would be making it with actual rocks instead of plaster and a soda bottle.

"Very cool," Ross grinned. "So awesome. We could make it explode."

"That's the plan."

"Maybe we can stick my sister in there," Ross mused.

"She wouldn't fit in there."

"If we make the hole big enough," Ross said.

Will laughed as the two boys began examining the rocks, picking them up and making a giant mountain on the table. It would be amazing to figure out how to make a giant volcano. A big, giant volcano that they could set up in the backyard. Maybe Jonathan Eliot would write something about it. Write a story about it? Jonathan was his other close friend in second grade and he wrote stuff a lot. He liked to write stories, especially about Ross' dinosaurs or comics. He liked to write comic books.

Ross Geller liked comic books, dinosaurs and was the prodigal son, at least in his parents eyes. Monica would get in trouble, but he was the golden boy. He walked the straight and narrow line, never making a wave. His parent-teacher conferences were meetings that were held up as what every parent-teacher conference should be and his parents were far less strict with him than they were with Monica. Ross would never do anything wrong, as far as they were concerned.

After school, he'd ride his bike down the street towards Astros Comics and meet Jonathan and Will. They'd walk up and down the aisles, reading and playing in the store until they became far rowdy for Angelo, the owner, and he told them to leave. They'd end up sitting out on the curb with comics that Angelo would give them and they wold sit and pore over the pages.

"Batman or Superman," Jonathan mused. "Who would win in a fight?"

"Spiderman," Will said.

"That wasn't a choice," Jonathan said.

"Batman. Batman's the best," Ross said as he looked over the magazine.

"Hey, that girl goes to our school," Will said pointing across the street at Olivia's Boutique. Ross looked up and saw the little girl who had been with Monica earlier. She was walking into the store with an older lady whom Ross assumed was her mother.

"I'll be right back," Ross said standing up and walking to the curb. He stopped and looked both ways before running across the street towards Olivia's. He walked in and saw the older lady talking to a woman behind the counter and the little girl standing by a mannequin, tugging at the skirt. Ross watched her as she carefully pulled the skirt off the mannequin and very gently began replacing it with one she had next to her.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Ross asked.

The little girl looked at him strangely and turned back to what she was doing. She was super focused as she moved the mannequin in a way so that she could easily fix it.

"Yes, I am," the little girl said. "My aunt owns this store. She lets me make sure the dolls are dressed nicely."

"Oh. We go to the same school. I think you were eating lunch with my sister. Monica."

"I know Monica, but I didn't eat lunch with her," the little girl said.

"My sister's a weirdo," Ross said.

"Is she sad?" the little girl asked.

"She's always sad."

The little girl smiled at him. She looked very pretty with her long brown hair. He thought she looked sweet. Although, it had occurred to him that he had not even gotten her name.

"I'm Ross," he said.

"Rachel."

"Sweetie, are you about done?" The older lady asked from the counter. Rachel looked towards her and nodded.

"Yes, mommy. See, Aunt Olivia. It's prettier with the blue skirt," Rachel grinned.

"It is, you are definitely right," Olivia said.

"Okay, I'm gonna go. Tell Monica not to be sad," Rachel said walking off. Ross stepped back and walked out of the store and looked at his two friends across the street. He looked both ways and then walked across the street to rejoin them.

"Did you kiss Rachel?" Will asked.

"Ewwww," Jonathan said, laughing.

"No. Gross, Will. I don't kiss girls. Girls are gross."

"No, Mrs. Singer is pretty," Will protested. Mrs. Singer was their second grade teacher.

"Mrs. Singer isn't a girl," Jonathan said.

"No, she's….she's like….like Wonder Woman pretty," Ross said as the three boys let that thought sink in. Soon, they got on their bikes and immediately began to ride back home, racing each other down the streets before separating and Ross carefully put his bike back in the garage making sure it was tightly locked. He walked into the house and ran to his parents in the kitchen. His father was sitting at the table going through some mail and his mother was starting to make dinner.

"Guess what Angelo gave me?" Ross asked, shoving the Batman comic book to his dad.

"Nice," Jack said, flipping through the comic book. "How much money do we owe Angelo, the comic book guy at this point?"

"I think we might need to mortgage the house," Judy joked as she looked at her husband.

"And guess what? Will collected more rocks for our volcano and….well, look," Ross said as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a drawing to show Jack. Judy walked over to the table and looked at the drawing. It was a pile of rocks with the big writing of a second grader.

"Can we please make the volcano in the backyard?" Ross asked.

"Are we going to be able to stop you?" Jack asked.

"No, but we will be very careful. We will even wear goggles and hats," Ross explained. Jonathan says he wants to write a story about it. It could be for a comic book. 'Ross, Jonathan and Will Take on A Volcano.'"

"I'd buy it," Jack said.

Judy shook her head and looked up towards the window that looked out into the backyard. The expression on her face immediately changed as she walked towards the fridge and opened it.

"She ate Ross' cake," Judy mumbled before storming outside.

"I have a cake?" Ross asked.

"Your mother made you a chocolate cake for your first day of second grade," Jack said.

Ross looked confused as he walked towards the back door and peered out to see Judy grabbing Monica by the arm and spanking her. Monica was crying as the cake fell to the ground. Judy took Monica by the arm and dragged her across the yard, yelling at her about ruining Ross' big day. Monica kept crying as they walked inside and Ross followed, watching them. Judy dragged Monica out of the kitchen and Ross walked towards his father.

"Why is Monica always bad?" Ross asked.

"Oh, Harmonica is not bad….she's just different. I gotta tell you son, you're a hard act to follow. She'll find her way."

Ross nodded and looked at his comic some more. Soon he retreated to his bedroom filled with all the science stuff. He placed his comic book on the shelf, grabbed a Wonder Woman one and walked out of his room towards Monica's. He slowly opened the door to see her curled up on her bed, sniffling and eating a Hershey Bar.

"Too much chocolate is bad for you," Ross said, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Shut up," Monica said, still crying.

"It is. You know, I saw Rachel."

"Yeah, she's new but she's not going to be my friend."

"Oh. You want me to read you Wonder Woman?" Ross asked, not sure what he was supposed to say to that.

Monica nodded as Ross began reading the comic book to her. He showed her pictures as she quietly continued to eat her chocolate. He liked reading comic books to her. It seemed to be those moments where they could bond as brother and sister because those moments did not occur often.

Ross had heard about Monica's new nickname through the elementary school gossip mill. Rachel had called her, 'Monicow' and now people were oinking and mooing at her whenever Monica walked somewhere. He didn't want to moo or oink at her. He did not want to make those sounds, but Rachel was doing it. During recess, Rachel called Monica 'Monicow' in front of everyone. People began laughing and Monica looked on the verge of tears. Rachel looked over at Ross who was sitting with Jonathan and Will at the next table.

"Geek Geller, doesn't your sister look like a piggie cow," Rachel said.

"Well-" Ross began.

"You should moo at Monicow," Nancy said.

"And oink at her," Sharon said, "'cause she's a piggie cow. Get it?"

"Mooo, piggie, piggie," Ross yelled suddenly. He felt mortified as Monica glared at him. She got up and ran away from the tables in tears.

"That was mean," Jonathan said as Ross said down.

"Well, Monica's my sister. She knows I didn't mean it," Ross said.

"He just said it 'cause he wants to kiss Rachel," Will said.

"Ewwww," Ross said, looking towards his sister who was now playing with a red haired doll at the end of the playground away from everyone else. He felt sad and hoped Monica knew he didn't mean it.

Rachel was just mean or maybe she wasn't? Rachel was confusing to him. A few days after that moment on the playground, Rachel was over at the house. She and Monica sat in the Geller pantry and he wanted to know what was going on but he wasn't sure he was allowed in there to find out.

"You're weird," Ross said to Rachel as she emerged from the pantry to walk to the bathroom. He had been sitting on the couch, reading a dinosaur encyclopedia when he saw her walk across the room. She looked at him.

"What?"

"You're weird."

"I'm not weird. You're weird. What are you reading?"

"A Dinosaur Encyclopedia."

"What?"

"You're weird," Ross said.

"You're stupid."

"Why are you so mean to my sister at school but then you come over and stay in a pantry with her?" Ross asked.

"We're secret friends."

"That's weird. Why can't you just be friends, friends."

"'Cause….I don't wanna tell you. You were mean to her in the school."

"She's my sister. I'm allowed to be mean to her. You're not her sister. You're not allowed to be mean to her."

"I'm going to the bathroom," Rachel said, looking at the floor.

"I heard you almost got sent to the principal's office for being mean."

"I didn't."

"You cried your way out of it."

"How do you know?" Rachel asked.

"Jonathan's sister, Kayla, is in your class."

"Oh."

"Kayla told Jonathan that you're mean and you can cry to get out of getting sent to the principal's office."

"I'm not mean," Rachel said, suddenly, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm not mean, Ross. You take that back."

"Don't be mean to my sister."

"I'm not mean. I'm going to the bathroom. I am not a mean person," Rachel said as she walked off towards the bathroom. He looked back at his magazine when Monica soon approached him.

"What did you say to Rachel?" Monica asked.

"I don't know. Did she really cry to get out of being sent to the principal's office?"

"Yeah. I don't think she's really mean."

"Really?"

"I think she's weird," Monica said. "She's nice but not at school. Like she's two people."

Ross let that sink in, "girls are weird." He mumbled as he turned back to his comic book. He didn't understand that at all. Soon, Rachel returned from the bathroom and she and Monica retreated back to the pantry. He kept thinking about Rachel though and what Monica said. He walked up to his room and grabbed some crayons and paper and began drawing. Jonathan had taught him to draw comic books and he began drawing a girl with brown hair. She had two faces. He didn't know what to call the girl but the girl with two faces was good when no one else was around but evil when surrounded by other people. It was a new comic book character idea and one he would have to discuss with Jonathan and Will.


	2. Chapter 2

**October 18, 1979-January 1980**

Having your birthday in October often posed a problem, mainly where the weather was concerned. It was always starting to get cold around his birthday so outside activities at Adventureland or other places were often out but when his parents suggested the Long Island Aquarium and Exhibition Center, he was thrilled with the idea. He invited his entire fifth grade class because that's what you did. He didn't really care if kids showed up. He was happy that Will and Jonathan did and Rachel did too. Rachel Green came because Jack and Judy said that Monica could bring a friend and it was shocking that Rachel said yes. He cautiously approached her as she stood by the butterfly exhibit, watching them flutter about. She was standing by herself as Monica was sitting at a table nearby with some of his classmates eating pizza.

"Did you know that there are over 180,000 known species of butterflies and moths and they have tiny microscopic scales covering their wings and body. They can also be found on every continent except Antarctica," Ross explained.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Never mind. You wanna see sharks?"

"I like butterflies. They're so pretty. They're in their cocoons and then they finally bust open and it's...it's just...they're free. It must be nice."

"Yeah, but they only live for like a few weeks."

"Then what?"

"I-they die."

"Oh."

"Sorry."

"It's okay," Rachel said.

"I'm happy you came to my birthday."

"Well, none of my friends are here."

"Monica's here."

"But…it's different," Rachel said. "I mean, I can be here because I can say my parents made me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you say that?" Ross asked.

"'Cause….I have to."

"That's sad," Ross said.

"No, it's not."

"Well, you can be like the butterflies and leave your cocoon."

"No, I can't," Rachel said as she stepped back, "I'm gonna go look at the sharks."

Ross watched her walked off and turned to look at the butterflies. He kept staring at them, not even noticing Jonathan and Will suddenly appearing on either side of him.

"Do you like Rachel Green?" Jonathan asked.

"No. She's just….she's...she's Two-Face. Like in our comic book," Ross said. He had been working on that comic book for three years, ever since the idea had come to him. He had worked with Jonathan and Will on it and they had written and rewritten it. It had become a series between the three boys. Two-Face was a girl who put on one face to the world. She was a villain, a mean person who spit on people and kicked puppies but secretly, she fought crime. She saved drowning babies and took care of the poor and sick. She kept her identity secret. She wore a green jumpsuit and cat ears and a butterfly mask when fighting crime.

"Two-Face. Fights crimes by night and kicks puppies by day," Will said, as he karate chopped the air.

"You should show her the comic books," Jonathan said.

"That's not a good idea," Ross said.

"I keep saying we need to move on from Two-Face and concentrate Science Boy," Will said, referring to the other comic they were working on. Science Boy was a kid who did science experiments that would help solve the problems of the world.

"What if we do a Two-Face Science Boy crossover?" Jonathan asked.

"That would be cool. I bet they would make a good team," Ross mused.

"No, no, Two-Face is evil. She can't love anyone because if she does she'll die," Wil said.

"Hmmm, maybe Science Boy could be her kryptonite," Ross said.

"No, this is going to a gross direction," Will said.

Ross laughed as the three boys continued to explore the museum and discuss their comics in depth. Jonathan and Ross were particularly interested in brainstorming the Two Face-Science Boy Crossover. Will was disgusted by the idea, but Jonathan and Ross liked the idea. Science Boy was the only one that could see through Two Face's cover. He saw Two-Face as tender-hearted and sweet, but he was the only one who could tell. Two-Face had built a very strong shield around her that no one else could break through.

He always considered his birthday to be the kick off to the holidays. Halloween was two weeks after his birthday and then came Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving involved the Geller Bowl. He loved it even though he and Monica would get insanely competitive with each other. His family played touch football and he and Monica were on opposite sides and they would play. It was hard, fast and wild and dangerous. Maybe he should not have said what he said to her, but they were in the game. The ball was in play and he was being competitive. Monica grabbed the ball, he oinked at her and she lifted her arm and suddenly he could feel the crunch. Monica had elbowed him in the noise. He grabbed his nose and looked up as Judy grabbed Monica by the arm and began spanking her. Ross winced as Monica was crying.

"Stop, stop," Monica cried.

"You broke your brother's nose," Judy said as she continued.

"He said oink, oink," Monica said as Judy finally stopped spanking her and turned her around to glare at her.

"Don't lie to me. I am not in the mood. You have ruined Thanksgiving," Judy said.

"He was being mean," Monica cried as she rubbed her bottom.

"Let's go...to your room," Judy said as she grabbed Monica's arm and dragged her off. Ross was watching, holding on to his nose.

"Way to go, fatty," Ross muttered.

"Mom, Ross called me fat," Monica said.

"You broke his nose," Judy said as she pulled Monica into the house. Jack placed his hand on Ross' shoulder.

"Let's take you to the hospital," Jack said, "and you need to be nicer to your sister."

"She broke my nose."

"Did you oink at her?"

"We were playing a game."

"Let's go," Jack said as he led Ross off towards the car. They waited for Judy and once she got in the car, they headed towards the hospital to get Ross' nose fixed. He was angry. Monica did not need to break his nose. He had been playing, he wasn't like Rachel who just called Monica names. This was in the spirit of competition. He would get even with Monica. There was no other option. She had been too competitive in his mind, way too competitive.

He got his opportunity during Hanukkah. Monica had gotten an Easy Bake Oven for Hanukkah and Ross decided to play a joke. He took the halogen lightbulbs from the lamps and found Monica waiting impatiently for the brownies she was making to heat up.

"You know, I read somewhere that halogen lights make things bake faster," Ross said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Let me help you."

"You forgive me for breaking your nose?" Monica asked.

"You're my sister. Let me replace the bulbs for you," Ross said as he replaced them and then walked upstairs to his room when suddenly he heard this giant woosh and Monica screaming. He heard Judy and Jack downstairs yelling at Monica, something about almost burning the house down. Ross stood at the top of the stairs as Jack pulled Monica up the stairs and towards her room. His eyes widened as he laughed, but it wasn't a happy laughter. It was nerves. He knew he had crossed a line and as Jack pulled Monica into her room, he could see Jack beginning to spank Monica as she screamed that it was Ross' fault. He felt bad. It wasn't her fault but he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth.

That night, Ross was sitting in his room when his parents walked in and closed the door behind them. His breath got caught in his throat and he had a feeling it wasn't good news.

"Ross, can we talk to you?" Jack asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Honey, did you put the halogen lights in Monica's Easy Bake?" Judy asked.

"No, Monica did."

"How did she know if you put halogen lights in the Easy Bake Oven, it would burn faster?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, but she did it."

"I don't think she did, honey. I think she had help," Judy said.

"Did you try to get back at her for breaking your nose?" Jack asked.

"No. No, it wasn't me. It was Monica," Ross said, but he could not look at his parents. He couldn't lie to their faces. He remained seated and began to feel scared. He knew he had gone too far.

"Are you lying?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Ross admitted, "I'm sorry."

"Okay, we are taking your allowance for two months," Jack said.

"She broke my nose," Ross whined.

"We are taking the money from your allowance and buying Monica another Easy Bake Oven," Jack said.

"Honey, you can't do that. You almost burned the house down and then blamed your sister? Your sister needs you to protect her. She needs you to guide her," Judy said.

Ross let out a sigh as his parents got up and walked out of his room. This did not seem fair. He didn't understand why he had to keep protecting Monica? Monica was breaking him and could be mean and she was constantly being friends with Rachel who was never nice. As far as Ross was concerned, Monica was bringing this all on herself.

The annual New Years Day party at the Green's house was a fancy affair. Tensions were still high between Ross and Monica. When they reached the front door of the Green home, Jack turned and looked at Monica and Ross.

"You two need to get along and behave yourselves," Jack said.

"Do not embarrass us," Judy said.

"Hopefully, Monica won't try to burn down the house," Ross said.

"You put the bulbs in, not me...admit it," Monica whined.

"Kids, enough and you got a new Easy Bake, so we do not need to discuss it anymore" Jack said he gave Ross a look that made him feel uncomfortable. Ross would not admit it to Monica that he had come clean to their parents. He was still angry about the nose thing and he would not admit that he had put the bulbs in there. Jack knocked on the door and Sandra Green opened the door with a big grin.

"Gellers," Sandra smiled as she ushered them in. She gave Judy a hug as she looked at Ross and Monica. "Rachel, Amy and Jill are in the playroom. Jack, the men are in the living room and Judy, will you help me in the kitchen. Sophie is catering. She should be here soon. Apparently, something came up with the other family she works for. I don't know, she'll be here soon."

"That's a shame. I hope everything is okay," Judy said.

"She said it was," Sandra said as she grabbed Judy's arm and pulled her towards the kitchen. Ross and Monica walked towards the playroom, not speaking to each other. When they walked in, Rachel noticed them immediately and ran towards them.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"Hey, Rachel, how are you?" Ross asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel said.

"That's a pretty dress you're wearing...it...it makes you look pretty," Ross said. Monica and Rachel both stared at him, confused.

"You're a weirdo. Will is over there playing with dolls," Rachel said pointing to a boy in the corner playing.

"Dinosaurs, not dolls," Will yelled.

Rachel rolled her eyes as Ross walked towards Will and began to play. As they played, Will began to mock Ross.

"Oh, Two-Face, your dress is so pretty. Rachel is Two-Face, right? And you are Science Boy," Will said as he held up two dinosaurs and made them kiss each other.

"Shush, no...She's….she…"

"Two-Face and Science Boy sittin' in a tree-"

"I'm gonna punch you."

"Who's that kid?" Will asked, motioning towards the door. Ross looked over and saw Monica approaching a boy he had never seen before. He was sitting on the couch and had crystal blue eyes and a brown bowl cut. He kept looking up at them and could hear parts of their conversation like Monica telling the boy about her Easy Bake oven. He hated that thing now. It was his allowance money that bought the second one and it just did not seem fair.

"She's pretty. I like to cook too. I baked brownies in my Easy Bake oven yesterday," Monica grinned.

"No, you didn't. You ate the batter before the brownies were done," Ross said.

"Shut up," Monica shot back.

"You did. You didn't wait for the brownies," Ross said.

"Shut up. That's my brother. He's annoying and stupid," Monica said, looking at the boy and pointing at Ross.

"I am not stupid. I know a lot more than you," Ross said.

"You're still stupid," Monica yelled. Ross noticed that the boy leaned in and whispered something to Monica who suddenly brightened as she looked at Ross. "...Ross, you said you were annoying," Monica squealed.

"No, I didn't," Ross said.

"Yes, you did. Ross admitted he was annoying and-"

"Monica," Rachel screamed. Monica looked towards Rachel who was now playing with Amy and Jill near a doll house.

"What, Rachel?" Monica asked.

"Come here and clean my doll house or I'm gonna tell Mindy that she's gonna be my first best friend and you're going to be my second best friend," Rachel yelled.

"Oh," Monica said, giving Chandler a look. "I have to go."

Ross rolled his eyes and looked back at Will.

"Hey, Two-Face is your girlfriend," Will said.

"She is not. You take that back."

"Never."

"Um...can...can I play?" The boy who had been talking to Monica was now standing in front of them.

"Yeah...who are you?" Ross asked.

"Chandler. I'm...Sophie, the caterer, brought me."

"Oh. I'm Ross. This is Will."

"Hey," Will said.

"Hey. So what grade are you guys in?" Chandler asked.

"Fifth," Ross said.

"Me too," Chandler said.

"You're weird. Why are you weird?" Will asked.

"I-I-I don't...I'm-I-," Chandler said before racing out of the room. Ross and Will exchanged looks.

"What's wrong with him?" Will asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he's afraid of dinosaurs?" Ross said as he continued to play. He noticed the boy eventually returning with Monica and the two played together for the rest of the party. It was a little strange. He had never seen Monica play with a boy. He would have to ask about the boy later.

Back at home, he decided he wanted to see the stars. It was still cold out, but he didn't care. He opened his window and grabbed his telescope. He looked up at the stars and looked around with his telescope when he noticed a car drive up to their house. He moved his telescope and noticed it was Rachel's parents getting out of the car and walking up to the door. He could hear them downstairs and less than five minutes later, they walked out while grabbing Rachel by her hand. He watched them through his telescope and watched as her parents turned and were talking to her. Ross wished desperately he could hear them. He watched as Rachel's dad opened the car door and dragged Rachel over his knee. Ross cringed as he watched Rachel getting a spanking from her dad. He moved the telescope towards her face. She was sobbing. He moved the telescope away and looked back at his desk. He pulled out the latest copy of Two Face and began coloring. He would have to give Two Face another nemesis. Maybe an evil doctor?

"Ross?"

Ross looked at Monica who was in his doorway. She walked into his room and sat at a chair next to his desk.

"Why did Rachel leave?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. She got in trouble with her parents."

"I'm sorry about your Easy Bake Oven."

"Thank you."

"Who was that boy you were talking to at Rachel's party?" Ross asked.

"He was no one. Sophie's son, I guess. I just….Rachel was being mean and he was lonely. I don't think he has a lot of friends. I'll probably never see him again."

"Oh. He was strange. He came up to us and the ran away."

"Yeah...I think he was scared."

"Oh."

"What are you drawing?" Monica asked.

"Oh, comic books. Jonathan, Will and I are starting a series."

"Cool. What's that one?" Monica asked, pointing.

"Two-Face. The Adventures of Two-Face. She's really horrible to other people but secretly she's really sweet," Ross said. Monica cocked her head to the side and grinned slightly.

"Is that who I think it is?" Monica asked.

"Who...it's not based off anyone," Ross said.

"Sure and why is she green?"

"'Cause that's her armor. It's not her."

"I won't tell her but what does Two-Face do?"

"In public, she kicks puppies."

"She wouldn't do that in public," Monica said.

"What would she do in public?" Ross asked.

"Make up mean nicknames for friends and then make animal noises at them and then has rules for being their friends but privately she tells you secrets about herself like she's afraid of the dark and….and...stuff like that," Monica said.

"Interesting."

"And who's that?" Monica asked, pointing at a comic of Science Boy on his desk.

"Science Boy and we're working on a crossover between Two-Face and Science Boy and together they make a crime fighting team because Science Boy is the only one who can cut through Two-Face's armor."

"Are you Science Boy?" Monica asked, grinning.

"No."

"You're Science Boy."

"No, I am not."

"I won't say anything except if you and Rachel ever get married, I'll read the comic at your wedding. That'll be fun," Monica said.

"Go away, piggie."

"Science Boy," Monica laughed. "Can you read it to me? Please."

"Which one?"

"Two-Face and…..Science Boy."

"Fine. You won't tell, right?"

"Never. I promise."

Ross grabbed a couple of the comic books off his desk and walked towards his bed. Monica followed as he sat on his bed and she sat next to him. He began to read to her about the adventures of Science Boy and Two Face.

He thought that things were going well between Monica and Ross but when school began a few weeks into the school year, he discovered he was wrong. He walked into his fifth grade class and opened his desk to see it filled with dental floss and honey. It was completely sticky and everything was ruined. He was furious that Monica would play such a prank. He found Monica sitting on the playground and stormed over to her.

"What did you do to my desk?" Ross asked.

"What?" Monica asked.

"You filled it with honey and dental floss, that's not funny Monica," Ross said.

"I didn't do anything to your desk."

"Liar."

"I didn't...I..." Monica stopped as she looked behind Ross. Ross looked back to where Monica was looking, She was looking at Rachel who was currently grinning at them. Ross wondered if maybe he was accusing the wrong person?

There were rumors swirling that it had been Rachel who had done the prank on Ross' desk and not Monica. Ross was wondering if it really could have been Rachel and when one day, Rachel had disappeared, it was confirmed. She had been suspended for an entire week for her prank and when she got back, Ross wanted to speak to her. He wanted to know why although it seemed her prank made her even more popular and meaner. She wouldn't even speak to him and it angered him. He would have to work a bit more on that comic between Science Boy and Two Face and figure out how Science Boy could take the power away from Two Face.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews so far! So, for this one...before I get comments, I understand that I may have miscalculated when Ross and Monica's birthdays could realistically be but considering I've already written Monica's and I established that Ross' birthday is in October and Monica's in in March...just go with it! :)

**October 1982-March 1983**

A Halloween themed Bar Mitzvah with dinosaurs and superheroes. He couldn't decide between themes so he chose both. It was a party, one he had been looking forward to. His entire class would be there and he was more excited than he thought he would be. He was in eighth grade now and with Monica in seventh, it was Bar/Bat Mitzvah season in the Geller House. Monica would be having her Bat Mitzvah in March of the next year. Yes, some might say it was crazy and impossible but with Monica deciding to take on the planning for her own and helping to plan Ross'. it wasn't that crazy.

"So, I'm looking at your seating arrangements," Monica said as she walked into his room and sat on his bed. Ross was looking over his Bar Mitzvah speech and looked up at his sister as she went through the notes.

"And?"

"It's good. You'll sit with Jonathan and Will. I'm also at your table."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm your sister and it's the rules. Also, my friends Ellie and Laurie are coming and will be at our table."

"Fat Camp friends," Ross said, smirking. Monica had gone to fat camp when she was eleven. He had gone to science camp but he knew the story. Monica, Ellie and Laurie had met at fat camp and snuck out to go to McDonalds and then got kicked out.

"Do not call us that. Anyway, we're gonna sit at your table and-"

"Is Rachel coming?" Ross asked.

"I don't know."

"Okay."

"I can talk to her."

"Don't worry about it."

"Ross, I'm having trouble with Rachel regarding my own Bat Mitzvah. I'm not even allowed to have her sit at my table and she's making me invite Sharon, Nancy and Mindy."

"You hate them."

"I do but in order to have Rachel there, I have to invite them."

Ross nodded as he looked back at the speech in front of him. He felt strangely sad about that. He really did want her there but he knew it would be asking a lot. They were now both in junior high and she refused to even speak to him in public. Monica got up and walked over to Ross and placed a hand on his shoulder as she moved to sit down next to him.

"I will talk to Two-Face," Monica said, grinning.

"Two-Face is not based on Rachel," Ross argued.

"Sure. I haven't told her."

Ross let out a snort, "why are we friends with her?"

"Because while she's two faced, her sweet side is awesome and I have to believe that at some point, that side's gonna take over…..or I'll kill her," Monica joked.

Ross laughed as he reached towards the shelf above his desk. He grabbed a booklet and handed it to Monica. It was the latest issue of The Adventures of Science Boy and Two Face. He was still working on those books, even though Monica was the only one outside of himself, Jonathan and Will that knew they existed, he still enjoyed working on them. He loved creating the stories. Monica flipped through them, reading the pages.

"So? It's the latest."

"What if you gave this to her to read?" Monica asked.

"That would involve talking to her in public and isn't that one of the rules that we can't do that," Ross said.

"Yeah. But she might like them."

"I doubt it."

"I will go talk to her. We have a pantry session coming up," Monica said as she stood up and walked towards the door.

"What do you two talk about in there?"

"How stupid you are," Monica said, grinning.

"Is that what they taught you in Fat Camp? Oh wait….you got kicked out of Fat Camp, how would you know?"

"Yeah, make fun of the girl who's planning your seating chart and has all the contact information for the vendors for your Bar Mitzvah. Real smart, Geller," Monica said as she walked out of the room leaving Ross to stare at his speech again. He looked at the phone on his desk. He knew her number and he knew she would not speak to him at school. He reached over and quickly dialed, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" Rachel asked.

"Hey, Rachel….it's Ross."

"Oh...gross. What?" Rachel asked.

Ross opened his mouth and shut it quickly when he heard people in the background. She wasn't alone.

"Mindy, Nancy and Sharon are with you, aren't they?" Ross asked.

"Yes. What do you want?" Rachel asked.

Ross let out a sigh, Rachel wouldn't even say his name out loud and when he heard Mindy ask who Rachel was talking to, Rachel's response sounded like a dagger.

"It's a sales call. They wanna know if my parents are home and if I want to invest in a butterfly farm. You know, it's stupid because they only live a few weeks," Rachel said.

Ross shook his head as he heard Mindy or one of the three scream about how strange that was. He would hang up.

"Yeah, I guess you're not coming to my Bar Mitzvah. Got my answer. See you around," he hung up before Rachel could respond. After hanging up with Rachel, he dialed Jonathan's number in order to discuss another comic. They needed to brainstorm ideas, maybe this one would involve Two Face being trapped in her own armor perhaps? She was trapped and Science Boy needed to come up with an experiment to set her free. Now, they needed to figure out what that was.

The next day, Ross was standing with Will and Jonathan discussing comics, this time Batman and trying to figure out how much a Batmobile might actually cost when suddenly he was hit by a crumbled up piece of paper. Rachel had been walking down the hall with Mindy, Sharon and Nancy and threw a piece of paper at his head.

"What the hell?" Will asked as Ross picked up the paper and uncrumpled it. On it, Rachel had written, "I'm coming. I want the chicken." Ross shook his head.

"She wants chicken?" Jonathan asked.

"She's coming to my Bar Mitzvah," Ross said.

"Why couldn't she tell you?" Jonathan asked.

"Remember? We can't talk to her in public," Will said. "Can we kill off Two-Face?"

"No. No we can't kill off Two Face," Ross said.

"I would like to move on from Two Face. Let's have Science Boy meet Batman?" Jonathan suggested.

"Sure," Ross said as he watched Rachel disappear down the hall. He watched as she purposely ignored Monica who was standing with Ellie and Laurie. He looked back at the paper and threw it in his locker. He didn't understand Rachel. Not at all.

She did come though, which was surprising and his Bar Mitzvah went spectacularly well. He did a great job on his Torah portion and his speech. It was his night which of course made his parents happy. Rachel didn't really speak to him all that much and left early, but he didn't really care all that much. At least she was there…..

Soon 1982 came to an end and it was 1983 and time to focus on Monica's Bat Mitzvah which was really all Monica. She had taken complete control of all planning. She had taken over the kitchen table as was currently sitting with Ellie and Laurie going over lists and stuff. He had no clue but did not care. Monica would tell him what he needed to do.

"Hey, Monicow, what's mooing?" Ross asked as he walked into the kitchen carrying his backpack and opening the fridge.

"Wow, Ross...you're original. By the way, you realized you aren't Shaft?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah, that Afro is looking mighty high today," Laurie said.

"Go away," Ross said as he grabbed a Coke out of the fridge and with his free hand, ran his hand through his frizzy black hair, "alright, I'm going to Astros Comics. You need anything?"

"Oh, yes," Monica said, getting up and walking towards the counter. She grabbed a piece of paper on which she had written him a note,

"_Ross-_

_Can you pick up two dozen Linzor tortes on your way back from Astros? Also, Mom wants you to pick up the cakes for Nana's birthday, Thanks, Monica"_

"I was just being polite," Ross muttered.

"I know. But thanks."

"What the hell is a Linzor torte?" Ross asked.

"Oh, those are good," Laurie said.

Ross shook his head as he walked out of the house towards Astros Comics. He was going to meet up with Will and Jonathan and they were going to talk to Angelo, the Comic Book Guy. It had been a plan, a new plan. They were going to see if Angelo could sell Science Boy. Maybe they could finally make money off their comics? They had been working on them for so long that they felt that maybe they'd be ready and with Ross' Bar Mitzvah money, they could buy more comics to make room for Science Boy.

He stood waiting for them in front of the comic book store, staring at Olivia's. Rachel was in there working and talking on the phone, probably. She was always talking on the phone and she was always alone in there. He kept staring when soon his view was blocked by a tall blonde girl. She had her hair pulled back in a knit cap and she was gripping a pipe. She was shaking, he could tell. He could see the fear in her eyes.

"Give me your backpack," The girl muttered.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Give me your backpack," The girl said again. She looked like she was terrified.

"No," Ross said when suddenly, the girl grabbed him by the ear and pulled him towards her. She lifted the pipe and the fear Ross had seen turned into anger, sheer anger and Ross was terrified.

"Do what I say. Give me your backpack, punk and no one gets hurt," the girl said. Ross took off his backpack, threw it to the ground and raced off down the street. He kept running until he was out of breath. Tears filled his eyes as he felt sick to his stomach. He had been mugged….by a girl. No one else had seen her and he could not tell the truth. He could not tell his parents it had been a scared blonde girl who had mugged him. That was horrifying but she had stolen his backpack, the money in it, his wallet and Science Boy. The original Science Boy. The one that had started it all. He wanted to go back but what could he do? He could say he was mugged but he would never tell the truth. He would never reveal that he was mugged by a girl.

Soon he ran into the house, screaming for his parents who were in the living room. He ran towards them just as Monica, Ellie, Laurie and Monica's other friend, Michelle Burke, walked into the living room. He was shaking.

"What happened?" Monica asked.

"I-I got-got...mugged," Ross said.

"Oh, poor baby," Judy said.

"In Long Island? Who gets mugged in Long Island?" Laurie said.

"Shaft," Ellie said.

"It's not funny," Ross said, "it was a big, hairy man...with...with no teeth and he had a pipe and...and he took my backpack. All my money and...and.."

"We should call the police," Jack said, walking towards the phone. Ross' eyes widened as he broke free of Judy's grasp.

"No, no...I don't wanna call the police," Ross said. He hadn't thought of that, of his dad wanting to call the police. No, the police could not be called. Then he'd have to admit he was mugged by a girl and that would be humiliating.

"Why not?" Ellie asked.

"I-I just wanna forget it happened. Really...it was so scary, I don't wanna tell other people...I'd...I just...I don't wanna call the police," Ross said, shaking his head.

"Come into the kitchen...I'll make you a treat," Judy said, placing her arm around Ross and leading him towards the kitchen.

"Does that mean you didn't get the Linzor tortes?" Monica asked.

"Monica," Jack said.

"What?" Monica asked.

Jack shook his head and followed Judy and Ross into the kitchen. He was still shaken up as Judy went to the pantry to bring Ross some cookies. Jack sat next to him.

"Why can't we call the police?" Jack asked.

"Because….I just...I…."

"Leave him alone," Judy said as she put some Oreos on a plate and brought them to the table.

"I don't….the….I just wanna forget it. Please," Ross said as he picked up the plate of cookies and walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where Monica and her friends still were. They were asking more questions about the mugging and he tried to dodge them, still upset by the fact that his comic book was gone. It was the original artwork for Science Boy, the one, the only. Yes, they had made it a series but that was the first one and it was now gone.

Rachel stopped by an hour or so later because apparently she had already heard about the mugging which made him nervous. How fast had it spread? How many people knew? Were there people that thought he had been mugged by a girl?

"Oh, Ross...how are you?" Rachel asked as she sat on the arm of his chair.

"We think he got mugged by a girl," Laurie said.

"I did not," Ross said.

"That's horrible. Uh, this town is really becoming gross. There were these hobos that came into Olivia's today with all this cash. They were so filthy...they probably got all their money from prostitution," Rachel said.

"Yes, because that's what prostitutes do. They sell their bodies just so they can buy overpriced clothes from a boutique that sells clothes that no normal sized person can fit into," Ellie said.

"Normal sized people can fit into the clothes. You girls are just too heavy to fit into the clothes at Olivia's. But that's okay," Rachel said.

"I'm normal sized and I can't fit into any clothes at Olivia's," Michelle offered.

"Uh...oh, you think you're normal sized?" Rachel asked.

"Excuse me?" Michelle asked.

"Anyway-" Monica began.

"I was so scared. I mean, the guy was huge. Six feet tall and scary and...and he had a beard and a mustache and-and-the pipe...he had a pipe." Ross said.

"Then why can't we call the police?" Ellie asked.

"Because...it...he...Rachel's right. It was a probably a prostitute or a hobo," Ross said, just wanting the day to be over. He would forget it happened, he would rewrite the comic book. He would do anything to just forget what happened. He hoped the girl enjoyed his comic book and his money. He would move on and never tell anyone what really happened.

Monica's Bat Mitzvah was in March and was exactly how his sister wanted it. He sat with Will and Jonathan who kept asking questions about the mugging but he ignored it. It never happened, although any questions of the mugging were quickly put to an end when Monica was mooed. Later on in the evening, he was dancing around with his cousins and it was time for the traditional chair lifting. It took about nine men to lift Monica in the chair, which he really didn't pay much attention to. What he did notice was the mooing. He hadn't heard it at first but when he did, he stopped and looked at Mindy, Sharon and Nancy mooing at Monica.

"Drop the cow," Nancy screamed.

"Oh my G-d," Ross said as he began to walk towards them. This was too much. It was Monica's night.

"Drop the cow," Mindy screamed, as did Nancy. As Ross got closer, he heard Rachel let out a loud "moo" as well. He felt disgusted by her.

"Seriously?" Ross asked as he reached her. Rachel looked at him and stepped back. Ross watched her as she walked towards the door and saw her father grab her by the arm and pull her out of the room with her mom following. Ross looked back at Monica who was sobbing as the men put the chair down and she ran out the sliding glass door, outside. He watched as Jack and Judy followed her outside.

"You girls are stupid," Ross said, looking at Mindy, Nancy and Sharon.

"Excuse me, Geek Geller," Sharon said.

"Yeah, who do you think you're talking to?" Nancy asked.

"She didn't even want you here. The only reason she invited you was because she wanted Rachel here. You couldn't lay off her for one night?" Ross asked, angrily. "Also, newsflash, Monica knows she's heavy. This isn't news. You didn't have to break it to her tonight."

Ross turned and walked off towards his table. He was shaking. He felt bad about Monica and even more disgusted by Rachel. He sat at his table and was soon joined by Will and Jonathan.

"What is wrong with girls?" Ross asked.

"See that's why Two-Face is horrible," Will said.

"She's not. That's the thing. This thing is so stupid. She is stupid. No, she's not stupid."

"She's Two-Face," Jonathan said.

"Exactly and I hope she gets stepped on by a T-Rex. I mean, come on….they couldn't let her have one night where they weren't humiliating her," Ross said.

"You know, we could humiliate them," Will said.

"I don't want to," Ross said.

"I heard a rumor," Will said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"That Two-Face has two parts," Will said.

"Two-Face is a hermaphrodite," Jonathan said.

"You did not hear that rumor," Ross said as he remained seated. He watched as Rachel walked back into the room, she looked like she had been crying. She walked across the room towards the sliding door and outside. He was annoyed and sick of Rachel. He was sick of her rules, of her her being mean for no reason. He was just sick of her.

He turned to talk to his friends, he'd check in with Monica later. He had a feeling she wanted to be with Ellie and Laurie and people that were nice to her. Maybe later, he'd give her a new edition of the comic? One where Two-Face suffered some sort of humiliation.

"Ross, will you dance with me?" Rachel asked behind him. Ross looked at her, confused. "I've Been Waiting for a Girl Like You" was starting to play, a slow song which confused Ross more. Why did she want to dance? With him? In public?

"Yeah, okay," Ross said as he got up and they stepped onto the floor. Ross' hands on her waist and her hands on his shoulders and about six inches of space between them. "So...why did you ask me to dance?" There had to be a reason she was dancing with him.

"'Cause I wanted to," Rachel said.

"Did you lose a bet?" Ross asked.

"No...I-I made one."

"Really? How much?"

"Twenty bucks," Rachel said.

"Hmmmm….can I have half?" Ross asked.

"No," Rachel said, laughing.

"That's not fair."

"It's totally fair."

"I got mugged."

"Meh," Rachel said.

"Very nice."

"I like this song," Rachel said.

"Me too," Ross looked at her and noticed the sadness in her eyes. The disgust he felt was melting away. He felt sorry for her. "So your Bat Mitzvah is in two months."

"Yep."

"Will you dance with me?"

"Depends. How much will you pay me?"

Ross laughed as did she. Everything else just seemed to melt away from them. It was just them and the music.

"The song is about to end and I'm gonna be really disgusted that I had to do this so don't be mad, okay," Rachel said.

"Got it. That'll be ten bucks."

"I'm not giving you my money."

"Ten bucks."

"Five."

"I want half."

"Fine, ten bucks," Rachel said.

"Good."

"I'm sorry, Ross," she said in a tone so low that if he hadn't been so close, he would have missed. "I'm so sorry."

"I know."

He held her and just kept watching her. She looked so fragile, so sweet and he wondered if he had really read her wrong. She seemed so lost to him, so sad. When the song ended though, Rachel stepped back, looked disgusted and walked back towards Nancy, Sharon and Mindy. Ross walked back towards Will and Jonathan and sat down.

"Danced with the devil?" Will asked.

"She's not that bad," Ross said.

"What?" Will asked.

"She's not that bad. She's just….lost," Ross said.

"She's took stuck in her armor," Jonathan said.

"Exactly, deep," Ross said as he noticed Rachel standing off to the side, staring at him. He got up and walked towards her and she placed ten dollars in his hand and looked at him.

"Buy yourself something pretty," Rachel said.

"Buy yourself some new friends," Ross shot back.

"I have Monica. She's only one that matters," Rachel said.

"Then treat her better."

"I know. I gotta go," Rachel said as she walked off and he stuck the money in his pocket and walked back to his friends, he was still thinking about Rachel. There was something about her. Something strange. He couldn't stop thinking about her and as he lay in bed that night, he couldn't sleep. He got up and began working on a new Science Boy. This time the plot involved him saving Two Face and hopefully breaking her free.


	4. Chapter 4

**October 1984**

He was fifteen and sitting with Jonathan and Will. He was now a high school sophomore and nearing the end of his first semester. They were sitting together, Jonathan and Will poring over a comic that Ross had bought for his birthday. He glanced at it but his attention was elsewhere. Lately, he had been feeling bored and he wasn't sure why. He wanted to go do something, anything. He wanted to see what was outside of Long Island. Around him, things were the same. Rachel was acting mean in public but nice in private. Monica was still….Monica. There was a fall formal coming up but he didn't particularly care about that. It was a formal, a dance. He had no girlfriend. He could ask someone, but the girl he would contemplate asking would say no before he even got the question out. Ever since that dance at Monica's Bat Mitzvah, he could not stop thinking about Rachel. She was now being featured prominently in all the comics, much to the dismay of Will and Jonathan. He saw her as she walked into the cafeteria with Chip Matthew's arm draped around her shoulders. Chip was Rachel's current crush and/or boyfriend. He wasn't quite sure. Rachel was laughing at something Nancy was saying to her. Mindy and Sharon waved them towards their table and they walked past Monica, ignoring her. Monica's friend, Ellie rolled her eyes as Monica simply shook her head.

"Dude, are you even paying attention?" Will asked.

"No. What?" Ross asked.

"What's going on with you, man?" Jonathan asked.

"Just thinking. I'm bored. I wanna do something," Ross said.

"Like what? The formal is coming up. That'll be fun," Will said.

"We went last year and there's another formal next semester and it's all so dumb and it's not like any girl would go with us," Ross said.

"I'm thinking of asking Monica's friend, Laurie. She's cute," Will said.

"You know, I know of this guy who lives in Queens and he throws these giant house parties. People show up from everywhere. We could be cool for the night," Jonathan grinned.

"It's a magic party?" Ross asked.

"We're cool," Will said.

"Dude. we're sitting at a table by ourselves surrounded by comic books. We're not cool," Ross said.

"We could go. These parties are apparently legendary and the family that owns the house? Rumor has it, they have ties to the mob," Jonathan said.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"There's also this really cool music place I've wanted to try. It's twenty one and over, we may need fake ID's but it might be fun.. It could be an adventure," Jonathan said.

"I want an adventure. I wanna see Manhattan and Queens," Ross said. He was starting to get an itch, wanting to see what else was out there for him. High school was starting to bore him. He got straight A's and was in all advanced courses. High school seemed filled with all the same nonsense that he just didn't care about. He didn't understand why Rachel needed to lie about herself to fit in or why Monica cared so much about all the drama and girls being mean. He just wanted to do other things and maybe this could be it.

Of course, it would require a lot of sneaking around. His parents would definitely not approve. He told them he was going into the city with Jonathan and Will. He told them he was going to a seminar at the Natural History Museum. They let him go. He had a feeling they would. They trusted him. He was still their golden child. So the three boys got on the train and took it to Manhattan, first to the club that Jonathan had recommended. It was called Sidewalks and there was live music, amazing music. He was a little stunned when they got in although he knew he looked older than fifteen. The fake ID's Jonathan had gotten for them got them access into Sidewalks and they found a table near the front.

"Now, let's see if we can get beer," Will said, getting up.

"Wait," Ross said, pulling out his wallet and giving him some cash. Before leaving, he had gotten a lot of the Bar Mitzvah money he had. The Bar Mitzvah money that had not been taken by the mugger and put it in his wallet, "we can't use credit cards."

"Why not?" Will asked.

"'Cause our parents pay those," Ross said.

"Oh yeah, good point," Will said, taking the cash from Ross and walking off towards the bar.

"This is awesome," Ross said.

"I know. I love this city."

"Wouldn't it be cool to be in a band," Ross mused.

"It would. I bet Two-Face would be your groupie," Jonathan said.

"Yeah, but privately. I couldn't talk to her in public."

"The best groupies are private ones."

"True. She's cute though. I know Will hates her but…."

"You really do like her?"

"I can't stop thinking about her. She's just weird and fake and….two faced."

"I got beer," Will said walking back with three bottles of beer. Ross grabbed a bottle and opened it. He brought it to his lips and cringed a little at the taste of the alcohol. He didn't love it but it felt very adult. The music began, a guy sitting at the keyboards began playing and it hit him. He wondered what it would be like. He could learn how to play the keyboards? He could add another part to his personality. He could add it to college applications? He would be leaving Long Island, he had already made that decision. He wanted out of suburbia.

"I want to start a band," Ross said.

"What?" Will asked.

"In addition to the comic books?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah. Wouldn't it be cool? We'll be scientists who also are rockers like Culture Club and stuff…" Ross mused. It would be cool. In his head, he could imagine playing on stage. Rachel sitting in front, watching him. Smiling, maybe. She wouldn't be embarrassed to talk to him in public, she'd be happy to be with him.

He could imagine sitting with her, talking with her, dating her but she was so wrapped up in herself, in her secrets and lies. Her persona which he just could not understand. Why did it mean so much to her to keep it up? It made him sad that she didn't see what he saw.

After the concert, which was inspiring, they headed to that house party in Queens. He had never been to Queens even though it was only about an hour from his house. The house was on a long street and the cab stopped about a mile from the house. It was too packed. The street was too packed, too busy. He was amazed, he had never seen that many people in his life. Every single person seemed to be drinking or recovering from drinking.

"Oh my G-d," Ross said.

"Dude, there's a cop car," Will pointed and sure enough, there was a cop car cruising down the street and oblivious to the fact that there were people losing complete control, people who were clearly underage.

"Weird," Ross said.

"It's not. Rumor has it, they paid off the cops to ignore the party. You could basically have sex in the street and it wouldn't matter," Jonathan said.

"Why would you have sex in the street?" Ross asked.

"Some people are into that kind of thing," Jonathan said.

"We should pretend we're other people," Will said. "I mean who knows us?"

"Oooo, we can be like superheroes," Ross said. "Guys with fake identities. I wanna be James Bond."

"You can't be James Bond. That's too obvious," Jonathan said.

"Alright, I am….Richard Burke," Ross said.

"Michelle Burke's dad?" Will asked.

"Yep," Ross said.

"But he's got a mustache," Will said.

"Yeah, but I could pretend I have one. I mean, I don't have one….besides he's a doctor. Doctor Burke….to the rescue," Ross said.

"And you're an eye doctor so you can be like, "I am looking into your eyes and I can see into your soul and it moves me….and makes me ache. Let me be in you, in your eyes," Jonathan said.

"Whoa….I'm gonna get laid," Ross mused as the three boys made their way through the crowds until they finally reached the house where the party was. Standing in the doorway, holding a beer, was a very handsome boy wearing a tight white shirt and even tighter jeans. He was ushering people into the house and grinning at everyone.

"Hey, how you doin'? I'm Joey, welcome….we got girls, we got beer, we got hard stuff. We got weed, if you're interested. If you're a cop, we don't got weed and I'm twenty one," the guy grinned from ear to ear.

"We're not cops," Will said.

"That's awesome 'cause I'm not twenty-one," Joey said.

"Um….I'm...I'm Richard Burke," Ross said, slowly. "And these are my buddies….Brad Jolie-" Ross said pointing to Will, "and Tag Ferguson," pointing towards Jonathan. Joey seemed deeply amused by Ross' introductions.

"You sure?" Joey asked.

"Yes, yes," Ross said.

"Alright, I don't give a crap. Go on in. My buddy, Shane will hook you up with some good stuff. My uncle got some illegal shit from South of the Border," Joey said, ushering them inside where there were more people.

"Tag Ferguson?" Jonathan asked.

"I couldn't think of anything," Ross said.

"Better than Tag?" Jonathan asked. "Who the hell names their child Tag?"

"I don't know. Maybe we can change it and Tag could be your last name and….and your first name could be….freeze," Ross said, laughing at his own joke.

"For a fake doctor, you're an idiot," Jonathan said.

"It's 'cause I don't really have the mustache," Ross said. "That's where all his power is."

"It's a new comic book hero," Will said.

"Mustache Man. By day, he checks your eyes and by night-"

"He steals them?" Ross asked, finishing Jonathan's thought.

"No. That's why I do the writing," Jonathan said.

"If I learn to play the keyboards,, I can do the theme song to our comic book heroes. We have a series that could rival Marvel or D.C.. Science Boy, Mustache Man, Two-Face…..we are brilliant people," Ross said.

"Do you think it's weird that we are standing in the middle of a house party discussing comic books?" Will asked.

"I'm gonna say yes…..but what are we supposed to do?" Ross asked.

"I think we're supposed to talk to people," Jonathan said.

"This was your idea, Ross. You had the idea to have an adventure and be crazy and stuff. So what do we do?" Will asked.

"I think Jonathan's right. We talk to people. Girls. Let's talk to girls. We don't really do that enough."

"We really don't. Okay, so let's talk to girls," Jonathan said as the stood in the middle of the room, people walking around them, not paying much attention. Ross looked back at Joey, standing by the door. Joey was now standing with a very well-endowed red-headed girl. He had his arm around her waist and seemed to be engrossed in….well, not conversation, but something else. Ross decided he would try. He really hadn't talked to many girls other than Rachel and his sister did not count. He took a deep breath and stepped forward. There was a pretty brunette standing by herself, sipping from a red plastic cup. He walked over to her, hoping that she did not see the shaking.

"Hi...hello...hi….how...how you doin'?" Ross asked and the girl gave him a strange look.

"Hi?"

"Hey...yeah, I'm….my name is um, Richard Burke."

"Oh my G-d, that's my uncle's name," the girl said.

"Yeah, but I don't have a mustache," Ross said.

"What?" The girl asked.

"Nothing."

"You know what, I think I see my friend. I'll talk to you later," the girl said as she walked off, quickly. Ross let that sink in as he turned around to look at Will and Jonathan. He walked back towards them.

"Yeah...we're gonna meet up later," Ross said.

"We should be better at this. We're creative," Jonathan said.

"I have movie star good looks, at least that's what my mom says," Will said.

"Why can't we be like the guy at the door. He's got four girls," Ross said, pointing to Joey who was now standing with four different girls, each on him in some way, kissing him, touching him, stroking him. "Come on, man….share."

"You know what though? I bet that's not very fulfilling. I bet he's not very happy," Jonathan said.

"He looks plenty happy to me," Will said.

As Ross stood there, he started feeling less and less comfortable. He wanted an adventure. He wanted to be away from Long Island, but now he kinda wanted to go back or at the very least away from this house with people who were just too out of control. He turned and began to walk towards the front door with Will and Jonathan following close behind.

"Whoa, where you going?" Joey asked.

"Oh, thanks for the party. We're gonna head back home," Ross said.

"Did you see my buddy, Shane. He's got stuff. Good stuff," Joey said.

"Like what?" Will asked.

"Stuff," Joey said.

"Like?" Will asked.

"Is he joking?" Joey asked, looking at one of the girls hanging from him. Ross let out an annoyed snort. Maybe the adventure was a wrong thing.

"Dude, we're three comic book geeks from Long Island. You gotta be more specific," Ross said.

Joey let out a laugh and shook his head, "I like this kid."

"We should probably go," Jonathan said.

"Yeah. Thanks for the party," Ross said as the three stepped back and began walking down the street in hopes of getting a cab. He had such high hopes for the evening, he thought. He loved the music but the crazy party just annoyed him. It felt like a hyped up version of Fall Formal. Fall Formal but with booze.

They ended up back in Long Island late that night and at Scoops, the ice cream shop hang out. It was packed with classmates getting late night ice cream before heading home to meet curfews. The trio sat together at a table eating ice cream and discussing the evening.

"Are we really that geeky?" Will asked.

"Yes," Ross and Jonathan said together.

"We're pathetic," Will said.

"Well, it was a fun night. The music was awesome. We will have to start that band. I bet if we start a band, we will totally get girls. More than that Joey dude."

"The kid was a pimp…..I'm jealous."

Ross laughed as the three continued eating ice cream and reliving the night. It was fun to leave Long Island, it made him think of his future and of what he could do when he was done with high school. He would have to move to the city. That was item number one.

He would learn to play the keyboards, be in a band, go to college in the city and become a paleontologist and then he would have an easier time getting girls like that Joey guy who lived in the house and had the party but he would definitely not go to the Fall Formal. There was no need and it seemed Rachel would not be going either. A few days before the formal, he walked in on Monica on the phone with Rachel. Monica seemed rather upset as she hung up the phone and let out a loud sigh.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"It was Rachel. She got grounded. Olivia's was robbed."

"What?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. While she was working there, it was robbed. She was alone and thief or thieves took off with a lot of stuff."

"Oh. Oh...does-does she need me?" Ross asked, realizing how strange that sounded in his head. He was trying to keep it together.

"No. No, she's-she's grounded."

"Yeah, but that's terrifying. I mean, I was-I was mugged...I know how scary...what if what was the same person? The person who mugged me, robbed Rachel?"

"Why would a big burly dude want clothes for girls?"

"What?" Ross asked, sounding confused. What was she talking about?

"Big burly dude? You said a big burly dude mugged you? Why would a big, burly dude rob a store that sells clothes for girls? No money was taken. Only clothes."

"Oh, yeah...yeah, well maybe he has a daughter."

"Uh-huh. Okay, Ross were you mugged by a girl."

"No, I wasn't but I should go talk to Rachel. She needs...me...a friend."

"At school, she keeps calling you dumb ass."

Ross let out a sigh, he needed to be better at keeping his feelings secret. His feelings about Rachel. He didn't like that he couldn't stop thinking about her, about how to break through to her.

"It's 'cause...it's 'cause we're friends."

"Ahhhh. Ross?"

"What?"

"Do you like Rachel?" Monica asked.

"No."

"Ross."

"I don't."

"Okay...you know, she'd never go for a guy like you."

"You don't know. Well, it doesn't matter. I don't like her like that."

"Uh huh."

Ross turned and walked out of the room and towards the kitchen. He didn't like her like that. He didn't. He was trying not to. She was Two-Face. She was messed up, her whole attitude was messed up. She wouldn't care if he played music or became a doctor. She wanted other things.

News of the robbery at Olivia's spread like wildfire. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone was comforting Rachel as she cried in the cafeteria about how scary the robbery had been and what had been a simple story of someone shoplifting lots of clothes soon turned into what could only be described as the plot to a movie. Rachel had been held at gunpoint. She had been bound and gagged. She had been pistol whipped. She fought back against her attackers. She had kicked, bit, punched. By the end of the school day, the story took on a life of it's own and Rachel had gone from the victim of a shoplifter to a butt kicking bad ass which made her even more popular. Ross was secretly enjoying watching all this go down. It was like Rachel had turned into Two-Face.

The night of the formal, Monica left and he had decided to stick to his plan of not going. He knew Rachel wasn't going and he wondered if she would want to hang out. He called and was pleasantly surprised when she came over. He had ordered a pizza and the two were soon sitting on the couch, relaxing.

"So how are you?" Ross asked.

"I've been better," Rachel said.

"Did you really kick the robber guy in the nuts?" Ross asked.

"No."

"I couldn't see that."

"You never know….no, I was on the phone and when I was not looking, someone came in and ripped off the store and I got in a lot of trouble and now Chip is at the formal probably making out with Nancy or Mindy….or Sharon."

"Aren't those your best friends?" Ross asked, confused. Why did Rachel like those people?

"I guess...although, between us….I don't like them that much. I like Monica. I think she's my only real friend."

"What am I?"

"Ross. You're just Ross."

"I could be your friend."

"Maybe. I just...I feel….I don't know….l feel like I'm pretending a lot. That I'm lying a lot. I feel like everyone has this idea of who I am and I don't even know who I am."

"I get that," Ross said. He liked this side to Rachel. It was a side he had never seen. She was vulnerable with him.

"Can we watch a movie?" Rachel asked.

"Sure, what's your favorite and I'll see if I have it," Ross said, getting up.

"Terms of Endearment," Rachel said.

Ross sat back down and stared at her. Why would she lie about that "no, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, no...no ones favorite movie is Terms of Endearment. You want to say that so people think you're deep. What's your actual favorite movie?"

Rachel smiled, "I-okay-I really liked Airplane."

"There you go."

"How do you know I'm not lying?"

"'Cause I thought you were lying before although I'm not sure why you had to lie in the first place."

"Well...'cause Airplane-"

"Is a great movie."

"It is."

"Then why can't you say that's your favorite movie?" Ross asked.

"Because...I've built up this persona, you know and the persona that I've built up wouldn't consider Airplane her favorite movie. I don't expect you to understand. You don't care what people think. I do, Ross and I want everyone to be happy and I want to please everyone and not get anyone upset which doesn't really work and I treat your sister like shit and I hate that because she's the bestest friend ever and I just...I don't know how to be myself and maybe that's why I'm always lying and saying that it's not me because I don't know who me is and everyone else seems to know."

"Well, figure out who you wanna be and if they don't like it, forget them."

"I don't know."

"Also, if Chip really cheats on you tonight then he is the world's biggest jerk. Who would cheat on you?"

"What?"

"Who would cheat on you? You're too nice."

"You think I'm nice?"

"I think you're very nice. Anyone who gets as emotional as you do about everything….and worries this much...yeah, you're nice."

"Thanks, Ross. You're nice too."

"I try."

"You know, on Monday, I'm gonna have to ignore you at school."

"I understand."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't."

Rachel smiled at him as Ross stood up and walked towards the stack of movies and picked up Airplane and showed it to her. She smiled happily as he put in the VCR. He sat back down next to her as they began watching the movie.

"Why aren't you at the formal?" Rachel asked as Ross pressed pause.

"I didn't wanna go."

"No one to ask?"

"I went last year. I'll go next year. It's just a bunch of people standing around, drinking punch. It's not that important, Rach."

"It is to me."

"Why?"

"It just is. It's important. I like being liked. I wish I could not care but I care. Maybe one day I won't. It's not gonna be now."

"What if I had asked you. To Fall Formal….what if I asked you? Would you have said yes?" Ross asked, feeling almost fearless at the moment. Maybe it was his memory of going to the city and to those parties, but he felt fearless.

"No."

"Hmmm….so then maybe it's a good thing I didn't go."

"I'm not a bad person, Ross."

"I know."

"And….don't tell but I actually like this better than the dance."

"Me too."

Rachel smiled at him as he pressed play and they continued to watched. He liked being close to her, liked getting to know her and liked just being there with her. He knew it would all eventually end, but that moment would remain officially theirs.


	5. Chapter 5

October 1986

Ross was now a senior in high school. It was his final year and he was thrilled. It wasn't that he hated high school. He wasn't Monica who seemed to hate every single moment and he wasn't like Rachel who seemed to spend most of her time pretending to be someone else. He was just happy to count down and get out of there. He was pretty sure NYU was his first choice. Yeah, he was certain he could probably get into somewhere Ivy League-esque, but he wanted New York City. He loved Manhattan, loved the village. His grandmother even had an apartment in the village. It was huge and purple and wonderful. He always thought it was way too cool for an older lady, it was in the middle of everything. Maybe he could have it? Or not….whatever happened, he knew the city was in his future.

"What's wrong with Hermaphrodite?" Will asked, grinning from ear to ear as he, Ross and Jonathan sat at what had become their lunch table over the years. Ross looked over at Rachel walking through the cafeteria with Mindy, Nancy, and Sharon. Lately, she had taken to wearing large sweaters and seemed rather sad. There were rumors, many rumors.

"She's pregnant," Jonathan said, matter-of-factly.

"How did you hear that?" Ross asked.

"Maybe she got herself pregnant," Will said.

"Will, come on….that rumor has gone way too far," Ross said. It had begun as a throw-away comment over ice cream at Scoops. Rachel had said something mean, Ross couldn't even recall what it was and it lead to a Rachel bashing session with himself, Jonathan and Will. Two-Face was alive and well and maybe she had a secret. She had two parts. That had been Will's idea. The joke expanded as Will told his girlfriend, Laurie, who was friends with Monica. Laurie told Ellie and before anyone knew it, it had traveled throughout the school. Rachel Green was a hermaphrodite. Ross was a little mortified that it had spun so wildly out of control, but the fact that it had grown so huge that no one could really trace it anymore made him breathe a slight sigh of relief.

"What?" Will asked.

"I did hear she's pregnant," Jonathan said.

"You really think so?" Ross asked, looking at her again, Their eyes locked for a brief moment. She looked so sad, so depressed. It broke him a little

After lunch, he saw her by her locker. She was surrounded by friends, but she wasn't really paying attention. It was always impossible to talk to her in public as she still had all her dumb rules. He took deep breath and began to walk towards her. Chip was right next to her. Sharon, Nancy, and Mindy were practically enveloping her, but he wanted to speak to her. She looked like she needed someone.

"R-R-Rachel," Ross practically spit out when he reached her. Mindy, Sharon, and Nancy looked at him like he had some sort of diseased alien head trying to emerge from his stomach. He just rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Geek Geller," Chip said. "What up, man?"

"Ewww, Chip, that's gross," Nancy said.

Ross just shook his head, "Rachel, can I talk to you?"

"No….Geek Geller...I don't-no-ewww….no," Rachel said before letting out a snort and rolling her eyes. He simply nodded and stepped back. She played her role so perfectly that he was starting to wonder if she even knew who she actually was or wasn't.

He turned to walk back towards his locker when Monica suddenly appeared next to him, her eyes wide as saucers.

"Oh my G-d….did you just break a rule?" Monica asked,

"They're dumb."

"I know that but….you committed social suicide."

"Mon, I'm a high school band geek who still plays with dinosaurs. I committed social suicide a long time ago."

"How do you not care?"

"I don't. You wanna hear the new song I've been practicing on my keytar. It goes. 'I don't care, I don't care…..Monica sucks and I don't care'", Ross grinned.

"I'm gonna beat you with that thing."

"I'll get another one and I don't care," Ross joked as Monica playfully smacked him.

"I heard she's pregnant. Do you think she's pregnant?"

"I don't know."

"Slutty Two-Face is pregnant," Monica mused which made Ross laugh. He rarely heard Monica make fun of Rachel. If anything, his sister was the one who constantly stood up for Rachel more than anyone else so it always made him laugh when Monica got in on the bashing action.

"No, Two-Face Slutty. Slutty would be her last name."

"Hmmm, interesting. How...and here's my problem. People think she's pregnant. People think she's a slut. People think she's fake and yet….more popular than you or I will ever be," Monica said as Ross draped his arm around her shoulders as they continued walking off.

"Karma, dear sister. I guarantee you that one day a bird will poop on her head."

"I hope so. No, I don't hope so 'cause she'll make me clean it up."

"Yeah, that'll be fun to watch."

"Shut up, dillhole," Monica said.

Ross continued laughing as he teased Monica. He would just never get it. Why was it so important? Popularity and everything else? Why did it matter? Chip Matthews was the most popular guy, but he seemed like a moron. Rachel was the most popular girl but to do so, she had to sacrifice her true self. It made no sense at all.

Then just like that, another rumor began to surface about Rachel Green. She was no longer pregnant. Instead, she had an abortion. She was back to wearing her typical tight fitting clothes and she no longer looked depressed. She walked around with the confidence she had before and dismissed every rumor that she had heard. It was bizarre to him.

The night before Halloween, Ross, Monica, Will, Laurie, Ellie, and Jonathan were sitting at a table at Scoops, eating ice cream and trying to figure out what happened.

"I feel like she totally had one," Laurie said.

"How would you know?" Monica asked.

"'Cause I have an aunt who used to be super attractive until she decided to join the circus and become a clown and then got pregnant after she got shot out of a cannon and landed on some guy's dick and now she's an abortion doctor and-"

"I have no idea this train of thought is going," Jonathan said, interrupting Laurie.

"Me neither but I think it's gonna crash real soon," Ellie said.

"Okay, but if she had an abortion, why wouldn't she tell me. I mean, why wouldn't she tell me if she gave her flower away," Monica said.

"Stop calling it that," Laurie said.

"Yeah, who taught you to call it that?" Ross asked.

"It's a gift...whatever, why didn't she tell me?" Monica asked.

"New comic book idea for Two Face Slutty. Two Face gets pregnant-"

"No abortions in a comic book," Ross said cutting Jonathan off, "abortions are not funny."

"Okay, what if she sends the child away….and the child becomes Two Face's third face. The alternate universe version of Two Face. Third Face lives the dream life that Two Face wants to live but is too scared," Jonathan said.

"Like Third Face is nice to people and has no rules to be her friend," Monica said.

"Yes," Jonathan said.

"And Science Boy meets up with Third Face in this alternate universe and they rule the world," Ross mused.

"Oh my G-d, it's so pathetic how much you love her," Ellie said.

"I do not. Shut up," Ross said.

"Mon, what if Ross and Rachel got married?" Laurie said.

"I think I'd have to get her drunk and trick her into it," Ross said. "And then of course, I could never tell her...'cause that would mean I'd have to talk to her in public."

"Best. Wedding. Ever." Jonathan said. "Alright….but at one point, Two Face and Third Face have to meet and suddenly, everything becomes one."

Ross let that sink in. These books were clearly genius. He really wished they could sell them. He also wished he could show them to Rachel. Although, he wasn't sure how she would react. The conversations soon turned back to Halloween. Laurie was having a party and they were discussing the plans.

A Halloween Game. That sounded weirdly cool. There was a football game and after the game, was Laurie's Halloween party. Monica was there to support Rachel who was cheering and he was in the band, playing the keytar which he loved. The idea of a guitar and keyboard in one just seemed like the most brilliant idea ever. He did notice Monica in the stands, sitting infront of Nancy and some friends of her's. He wished Monica would just move. Why would his sister do that? Purposely put herself in the path of getting made fun of by someone so mean. His mind also drifted towards Rachel. If the rumors were true, if she had an abortion, why was she cheering at a game? He wished that he could talk to her before the game, ask if she was okay but he also had a role to play. He was in the band and he did quite well. He really enjoyed being in the band, practicing music. It gave him another part to his personality. He would do very well in the city, he reasoned. A dinosaur geek with musical aspirations, there would be no reason the ladies wouldn't love him.

After the game, Monica walked towards him, looking rather distraught. He was still riding high from the game and he knew why she was pissed off. She had sat near Nancy.

"Hey," she said as she approached him.

"Hey...Monica, I'm thinking that tonight at Laurie's Halloween party, I'm gonna play this song I wrote. Okay, you wanna hear-"

"No."

"Monica."

"I just spent the entire game getting harassed by Nancy."

"Don't listen to her," Ross said, trying to hide his slight annoyance. Monica should have moved. She knew what type of person Nancy was.

"How can I not? And she kept on and on about Rachel being hermaphrodite and-"

"Rachel's a hermaphrodite?" Ross asked, playing dumb. He knew she knew but it always amazed him how far it traveled.

"Yeah, how did that rumor start?"

"Haven't a clue," Ross said as she let out a pained sigh. Ross gently hugged her as they walked off towards the bleachers when a guy with a very cool looking Flock of Seagulls haircut stormed towards them. He looked pissed, although Ross really wanted to ask about the hair. How did he get it so flippy?

"Hey, hi...um, I'm...Richard Brooks," The guy said.

"Oh, hey, Richard. I'm Ross."

"I'm Monica. You were sitting behind me. Did you like the game?" Monica asked.

"Yes," the boy said, sounding impatient..

"You look really familiar, have we met?" Monica asked.

"Probably not." the boy said.

"But...how come your friend called you Chandler if your name is Richard?" Monica asked. The more this guy spoke, the less focused Ross was on the cool hair. Richard seemed like an ass.

"It's an inside joke. Look...I'm friend of Rachel Green's and she asked me to grab something from her car and I'm a total idiot, I completely forgot what car she drives. Do you know?" The boy asked.

"Yes, yes...it's a black Mercedes Benz 300. She's spot number 16 in the lot. Do you want me to take you?" Ross asked, maybe that's what it was. He was friends with Rachel and therefore kind of an ass.

"No, no. That's fine, thank you," the boy said.

"What do you need to get from her car?" Monica asked.

"Peanut butter," the guy shot back.

"Peanut butter? I love peanut butter but Rachel doesn't like peanut butter. She said something happened at camp once and she didn't like it anymore after," Monica said.

"Did she now? Huh, well...it seems she suddenly developed a taste for it. Thank you, Monica and Ross and G-d bless you both," The guy said, smiling wildly before turning away and walking towards some boys sitting on the bleachers. One of whom was holding his nose in pain.

"Who was that guy?" Ross asked.

"A friend of Nancy's? He seems like a jerk."

"Maybe I shouldn't have said where her car was?" Ross asked.

"Why not? He probably needed to get something out of her car."

"Peanut butter?" Ross asked. Something seemed a little off.

"Maybe he was just being a jerk."

"Hmmm."

"Let's go to the party. I wanna be around friends."

"Me too."

Monica and Ross turned and walked off towards the parking lot. As they walked onto the lot, they noticed a bright, cherry red Corvette sitting in the lot.

"Nice car," Ross said, staring at it. It was the most amazing car he had ever seen. It looked brand new.

"I wonder who it belongs to?"

"I wish it belonged to me."

Monica laughed as she got into the Volvo, Ross got into the passenger's side. Ross kept staring at that car when he noticed that guy who approached them earlier walking towards the car with his buddies. It almost made him jealous. He bet that guy got all the girls, with a car like that, how could he not?

His perfect party, even at seventeen, he had discovered was not that crazy house party he had gone to with Jonathan and Will. It was sitting on Laurie's couch with Jonathan and Will, eating candy while dressed in costume and playing video games. It was perfect. Ellie, Laurie and Monica were off doing their thing and they were just playing talking about the game and talking about Rachel apparently punching some guy out at the game. It was truly the greatest party ever and he did get to play the song he wrote. Even though Ellie told him it sucked and Monica threw Twizzlers at his head in protest, it would still be an amazing night.

The next morning, Monica woke him up super early to tell him that Rachel needed help. At first, he was reluctant to do so but Monica insisted, saying Rachel was in hysterics about something. So they headed to the parking lot at Lincoln High and Ross' heart immediately dropped when he saw Rachel's car. Someone had covered it with peanut butter and written the word "COYOTE" on the windshield. She was sobbing and at once Ross had a feeling he knew exactly who was behind it. The guy with the car and the cool hair.

"Rachel, what happened?" Monica asked. Rachel could barely breathe.

"I came back last night and this lunatic put peanut butter on my car and I couldn't drive it home and they put mayo on Nancy's and I came back here this morning and...and I'm-"

"What does coyote mean?" Ross asked.

"I don't know, but it whomever did it is a sick fuck. You hear me, you sick, sick, bastard. I fucking hate you," Rachel screamed, shaking. It was almost a little scary.

"You know, Rach...it's not that big of deal. All we need to do is wash it," Monica said.

"No, you don't get it. I don't need this now. I don't...I don't and then...last night was awful. I had to punch a guy in face because he asked if I had penis and-and-then-" Rachel could not stop crying. Ross immediately moved forward to hug her.

"That guy," Monica said.

"What guy?" Ross asked, although he knew.

"The guy who asked where Rachel's car was yesterday. What was his name?" Monica asked.

"There was a guy?" Rachel asked.

"Richard. That was his name," Ross asked.

"No, no...I don't think that was his real name. I think was something else. Something weird."

"Chandler," Rachel mumbled.

"Yeah, he sat behind me at the game. I think he's friends with Nancy. Maybe Nancy set this up?" Monica asked.

"No. No, I doubt it."

"Did you know the guy? Chandler? He asked where your car was?" Ross asked.

"No, I went to camp with a guy named Chandler once but he died," Rachel said.

"How?" Monica asked.

"Someone killed him."

"Who?" Ross asked.

"Maybe he got up the ass from a rabid coyote," Rachel said.

"Rachel, we'll clean it off," Monica said.

"Not the point. I...it's.."

"Come on, let's get your car clean," Ross said as he let go of Rachel. Monica walked back to her car and opened it, getting all the car cleaner stuff out of her car. Ross walked toward her to help her. As they pulled stuff out, they looked over at Rachel who was staring at COYOTE written on her windshield. She looked distraught.

"Do you think it was that guy?" Ross asked.

"I do. His name was not Richard, it was Chandler and I bet it was the same guy who put peanut butter in her bed at camp."

"What an ass."

"Yeah. Let's just clean the car," Monica said as she walked towards the car with Ross and three of them spent the next several hours cleaning off Rachel's car. Rachel was crying the entire time. Ross felt bad for her. She looked miserable and he wondered if all the rumors were true.

He rarely saw her alone but later that afternoon, he had gone to the comic book store and saw her sitting on a bench by the store, drawing something. He cautiously approached her and stood above her until she noticed him and grinned.

"You gonna sit?" Rachel asked.

"Am I allowed?" Ross asked.

"Whatever you want," Rachel said.

Ross sat next to her and noticed she was sketching something in a small notebook that looked like a dress. It looked nice.

"What are you drawing?" Ross asked.

"I'm designing….it's a dumb hobby. Never gonna lead to anything."

"Rach, about today."

"I really don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay but the rumors….the pregnancy rumors and then...I mean-"

"Ross, please."

"But you can talk to me about anything. You know that," Ross said.

"I know but please, Ross. I can't. I just can't….please. I don't know if you get it but-"

"Okay," Ross said, a bit alarmed by the tears filling her eyes. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"I'm going to Astros."

"I don't like comic books."

"Come with me anyway. I guarantee you, no one you know will be there."

"Okay," Rachel said as she wiped tears from her face and stood up. She put her little sketch pad in her purse and walked with him into Astros. He grabbed her hand and pulled her off towards one aisle, filled with Batman comic books.

"My favorite it Batman. He's got a Batmobile and is the coolest superhero," Ross said.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But he needs more color in his wardrobe," Rachel said.

"No, he does not," Ross argued.

"Superman has a cape. That's cool."

"You know Superman?"

"I'm not an idiot, although Wonder Woman trumps all. Come on. She's a bad ass," Rachel said.

"She is hot….you know, Jonathan, Will and I write comic books."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," his heart beating quickly. "Science Boy with his superhuman thirst for knowledge."

"Oh."

"He has a female sidekick….or partner in crime."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "What's her name?"

"Two Face. She's one way in public, kinda tough and stuff but privately she's amazing and sweet and only the very lucky few get to see that. Science Boy and Two Face fight crime together and save the world."

"Sounds like a good team."

"I think so. Come on, I'll show you Wonder Woman," Ross said, grabbing Rachel's hand again pulling her off. He liked that he was making her smile. He wasn't sure if Rachel had caught on to the true identities of Science Boy and Two Face and if she had, she didn't say anything. What he did notice though was her happiness. She finally seemed happy or at least a little bit.


	6. Chapter 6

**February 1987-October 1987**

Countdown to NYU. Countdown to graduation. He could not wait to leave, he knew his parents were desperate for him to stay in Long Island, well maybe his mom more than his dad but he just needed to see the rest of the world or just New York. Until that moment finally arrived, he would spend his days volunteering at the library and reading about places beyond Long Island. He was becoming more and more interested in paleontology. He loved the idea of finding bones, learning about history, finding fossils that could explain how the universe got to where it is. He was fascinated by it. He could spend all day reading, finding books and discovering everything. He wished he could read every book in the library. That would be a goal. Reading every book, although that goal was always put to an end when someone needed his help and guidance. Working in the library though was like digging for fossils, finding what the customer needed and pulling it up and that February day, his current "customer" was Rachel. Rachel was sitting alone at a table with stacks of books about colleges. He wondered which ones she was thinking about, which ones she was thinking of going to.

"Here's another one," Ross said, dropping another book about colleges on the table where Rachel was scouring through them. He plopped down across from her and leafed through one of the many books on schools, even though he really had no interest in any of them except NYU, but it was amazing how many schools there were. Schools of different sizes, different focuses, so different and yet with one goal in common, to educate.

"Ross….would you ever consider leaving New York?" Rachel asked. Ross looked up at her as she stared at him.

"Hmm...well, I'll probably be going to NYU next year so no. Do you wanna leave New York?"

"I don't know. Maybe Los Angeles? I can go to the Fashion Institute."

"But you'd miss New York. Wouldn't you miss it here?" Ross asked. That hurt him a little. If she left New York, he was certain he would never see her again and that seemed to be too much for him. He was pretty sure the thought sounded weird, but knowing she was in New York felt comfortable to him. It felt right.

"I would but maybe I could build a whole new life, you know...a life where I'm not a mean girl or a slutty girl or whatever the hell people think of me."

"I don't think you're either one of those things," Ross said. She always tried so hard in public, but she wasn't fooling him. She was sad, no matter how hard she tried to convince others she was okay, he knew otherwise. Did she want to leave because she wanted to run away? What did she want to run away from?

"You're sweet."

"Hey, can I ask you something? I mean, it's probably none of my business...but are you okay?" Ross asked. He had not brought it up since that Halloween but maybe enough time had passed? Maybe she could talk about it now.

"I'm fine."

"I know, it's just last semester-"

"I'm fine."

"There was a rumor-"

"I'm fine. Please, drop it."

Ross nodded as she glared at him and turned back to her college books. She didn't want to leave New York because she wanted to leave. She wanted to run away. She wanted to get away from everything having to do with Long Island, all the rumors, the back-stabbing. She was trying to break away from being Two-Face. He wanted to scream at her, yell, shout, she didn't need to leave New York to be who she truly was. New York wasn't the problem. Los Angeles wouldn't fix her. Only she could do that, but he wasn't sure how to phrase that.

"Okay. I don't think you should leave New York," Ross said.

"You don't?"

"No, you belong here. This is your town. They have no weather in Los Angeles and...and I think New York is where you belong," Ross said, while secretly adding to himself that if she cut the crap and just acted normally, then she'd be fine but he figured that would just start a fight.

"Really? I don't know….sometimes I think I should go somewhere. I'd love to..do something else. Be away….be someone new."

New York isn't the problem, you are, he thought to himself. Why did she not get it? Why did she not see that none of this mattered?

"You can find yourself here...besides you'd have to drive in L.A. and you're a horrible driver," Ross teased.

Rachel smiled and shook her head as she continued to look through the books. Ross watched her, kept staring at her. She looked up again and grinned at him.

"Why do you keep staring at me?"

Ross shrugged, "I don't know. I'm going to get you some other books."

He got up and walked down the aisles until he reached the design section. He grabbed all the books he could find on fashion design. He wasn't sure which ones were good or bad, he figured they were all the same but he knew Rachel would know. Once he had pulled out as many books as he could carry, he walked back to the table and plopped them all down with one way-too-loud-for- a-library thump. She looked at him.

"What's all this?"

"Well, you're interested in fashion."

"I am. It's just a hobby though."

"I understand but you know, wouldn't hurt to look."

Ross stepped back as he walked towards the aisles and turned to look at Rachel who grabbed one of the fashion books from the stack and began reading. She looked so pretty sitting there. Everything about her seemed relaxed while glancing at those books. He watched as she reached into her giant bag and grabbed a notepad and pencil. She began drawing. He shook his head as he went back to volunteering. She was ridiculous. She simply ridiculous, yet he could not stop thinking about her.

He could not believe Monica, Laurie, Ellie, Will and Jonathan forced him to come to this stupid party at this girl's house whom he barely knew. Serena. Selena. Whack-a-doodle. He didn't know and did not care. Monica told him that she would be late, she was volunteering at a soup kitchen with Rachel which seemed like it would be never ending fun. Rachel volunteering? Helping those less fortunate? He felt bad for those homeless people getting fed by Rachel. He could just imagine the insults that she would lobby their way and he felt they had suffered enough.

"This is so stupid," Ross moaned, holding a red plastic cup filled with beer but not really drinking. He knew he'd probably have to drive later. Monica, Ellie, and Laurie had developed a taste for red wine at these parties and he knew he would probably be driving her home. Jonathan and Ross were wandering around the party, which was crowded and reminded him of that party he went to in Queens, although that one was far crazier.

"What do you think that Queens party guy would think of this party?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, he'd probably run. Every girl here is underage," Ross joked, taking a sip of his beer.

"That guy really was ridiculous, wasn't he?" Jonathan asked,

"He was the Keymaster," Ross grinned, referring of course to Ghostbusters.

"Of course, he was Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer."

"He was looking for his Gatekeeper. That's why he kept standing there at the door with all those girls. He was looking for gate in which to insert his key," Ross laughed.

"That's why he had so many girls, sometimes you have to fit your key into a lot of gates before you find the right fit," Jonathan laughed, as well. This was becoming a fun conversation, comparing Queens guy to the Keymaster because truly that's what he was. He and Jonathan made their way outside to find Ellie, Laurie and Will sitting together. Ellie and Laurie having their signature cups of red wine and Will drinking a beer.

"Where is your sister?" Ellie asked.

"Not here yet. But I'm happy to see you, Ellie," Ross said.

"You know I don't care about you enough to even lie and tell you I feel the same," Ellie remarked, bringing the cup to her lips and drinking.

"I understand. The feeling is mutual," Ross said as he and Jonathan sat down. He wouldn't admit it but he did like Laurie and Ellie and he really liked that his sister had those two girls. He knew it made his sister happy that she at least had two friends in high school that would speak to her publicly and were not as tough to be friends with as Rachel. It made him feel even better about leaving Long Island for college. At least he knew his sister wouldn't be spending her senior year alone.

"I still can't believe your sister took Rat Face to a Soup Kitchen," Laurie said.

"I know those poor people struggle so much and then they have to stand in line and get fed by a rat faced hermaphrodite," Will mused.

"Do you think she's even volunteering?" Laurie asked.

"Please," Ellie groaned.

"Guys, come on. Leave her alone," Ross said.

"Oh, I forgot. Ross loves Rachel," Ellie said.

"I do not, I'm just saying, let's lay off. No need to bring ourselves down to her level. She's just….and wait, if she did have an abortion last year, maybe we should lay off," Ross said.

"Ross, that would make us decent people and you know I'm not ready to be one of those people," Ellie said. Ross let out a snort as the group continued to talk. Ross was just watching the party. He wasn't sure why this was so fun. People were getting wasted and there were no adults, anywhere.

A few hours passed and Ross was hearing that Rachel was there, so he figured Monica was. He got up and walked back into the house to let Monica know where they were when he noticed Rachel, clearly wasted. He watched as she downed something in a red cup and went to the bar to pour herself something else.

"Hey, Green….wanna lighten up on those," Ross smiled.

"Shut up."

"Where's Monica?"

"I don't know."

"Didn't she drive you?"

"I don't know where she is….stop being an idiot and leave me alone," Rachel said as she practically stomped away from him towards Mindy and Sharon. Ross was confused. Where was Monica? Did they get into a fight? Did she decide to go home? He didn't want to call his house and get his parents worried and Rachel was clearly too drunk to think about anything.

He walked back outside towards his friends who were all looking back at him. He let out a sigh and shook his head.

"So Monica is missing and Rachel is here and obliterated," Ross said as he sat back down.

"Wait, so do we think Rat Face killed her?" Ellie asked.

"No, we do not think Rat-Rachel killed her. Maybe she decided to go home? I don't know," Ross said.

"But Rat Face is drunk? Wow," Ellie said.

While his friends were drinking and making fun of Rachel, his mind began to fill with worry. Where was Monica? Why was Rachel drunk? What happened? When Monica finally showed up outside about an hour or so later, the group immediately surrounded her, hugging her but she looked happy. She was practically beaming.

"Where have you been?" Will asked as they retreated to their spot.

"I was at the soup kitchen. I met the most amazing person," Monica said.

"Now where you again?" Ross asked. "I was worried and was gonna ask Rachel but then she told me to leave her alone and called me an idiot...so I left."

"And this is the woman you love?" Will asked.

"You love Rachel?" Ellie asked. At least he thought she asked. He wasn't quite sure if Ellie was saying it or questioning him.

"No, I don't." Ross said.

"Awww, Ross and Rachel sitting in a tree," Ellie said.

"No, I don't-" Ross said.

"First comes love, then comes marriage...then comes the baby in the baby carriage," Laurie said.

"Why did you have to finish it? So annoying," Ellie said.

"Okay, no, I do not love Rachel. We are never going to get married and we will never have a baby...it's just...she's pretty," Ross said.

"She has a penis," Will said.

"And Ross dreams of taking off her pants and finding out," Laurie said.

"Ewww, okay, listen...can I say something? I met...okay, her name is Regina Filange and she and her friends are amazing and they are so brave and inspirational and I...I mean..." Monica said.

"Are you in love with her?" Laurie asked.

"No. But it was really cool, you know, seeing people who have nothing and yet seeing them so happy and...none of this stuff matters. It was amazing. I feel...just in awe of it."

"Wow. Deep. So now can we talk about how your brother wants to bone Rachel," Laurie said.

"Ewww, no," Monica whined.

"I do not want to bone Rachel, ever. Really. Okay...I think she's pretty, but you know, I think my mom is pretty but I don't-" Ross said.

"Please don't finish that sentence," Monica said.

"I find Rachel attractive. That is all," Ross said.

"She did have an abortion," Laurie said.

"You know what? I don't care. Rachel can just...I don't care. She...no, tonight was amazing and Ellie and Laurie...you are both coming with me next time. Rachel is not coming with me. Ever."

"Really? What did Rachel do?" Ellie asked.

"Just...well...thinking about others and saying nice things about them? That's not really her thing," Monica said. Ross laughed as the conversations continued around him. He would follow Monica's lead and just spend a night not caring about Rachel, although he was still curious. How did Rachel end up at the party an hour or so before Monica?

"Although, what the hell happened?" Ross asked after Ellie went to get Monica some wine. She was happily drinking now and Ross wanted more information.

"I told you," Monica said.

"No. How did she end up at the party an hour before you did?"

"She wanted me to drop her off blocks away from the house because she could not be seen in a Volvo. I then turned around and went back towards the soup kitchen and drove around. I'm sorry I worried you, though."

"It's alright, it's just-"

"What if you're wrong? What if I'm wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Ross asked.

"You should have heard some of the things she said tonight? These homeless people probably have diseases and they will all die. It was so awful and sad and what if….what if that's who she is? Maybe you and I want to believe something that really isn't there. Maybe she's not a good person."

"I don't know."

"Maybe she's not two-faced. Maybe that's just….her face," Monica offered.

That sunk in and he wondered if she had a point. He was leaving soon. Six more months and he'd start a new life of his own. Rachel would be his past. He was sure of it. He wondered if after Rachel and Monica graduated, if he would ever see her again and it did hurt him a little to think that he wouldn't and maybe that was good. Maybe it was okay. He would move on.

Those six months went by faster than he could have even counted. Will was going to USC in Los Angeles and Jonathan was at least staying close by, going to NYU but the two friends had decided not to be roommates, feeling they would get the true college experience if they had strangers as roommates. They could also meet and complain about them if they sucked.

He arrived at NYU early in August and immediately began decorating one half of the room. His roommate was not there yet, which was fine. He could use sometime to get himself situated. Jonathan was not any help, lying on his bed, glancing through stuff in Ross' boxes.

"So who is your roommate?" Jonathan asked.

"His name is Chandler Bing," Ross said, putting up his favorite dinosaur poster. It was a T-Rex with facts about them.

"Weird name."

"Yeah, by the way, thanks for your help."

"I do what I can. Wait, dude, really. A picture of Two-Face?" Jonathan asked, staring at the picture of Rachel in her cheerleading uniform. Ross grabbed it and put it on the wall.

"Yes. You have a problem with that?" Ross asked.

"You know once your sister graduates from Lincoln, you will never see Rachel again."

"I know, I know," He stared at the picture and thought back to the last six months. Rachel had come to the graduation ceremony and did congratulate him…...on the phone, later. He had invited her to his graduation party, she declined, having grad parties for other friends to attend that were more important. Yet, he still held out hope and he wasn't sure why.

After he had finished setting up his side of the room, he and Jonathan went to go explore the city they would now be calling home for the next four years. Who knew what could happen? Although, he did hope he would finally get a girlfriend. His prom date had been a girl in one of his science electives. Tara McDaniel. They had been paired up for some science project and decided to just go together. It wasn't the greatest night or the worst night, it was just….a night. But now….now he was a college man and that meant he needed a girlfriend. Someone to date and quick.

When he got back to his dorm, he noticed two people standing near his bed staring intently at something. A guy with a weird haircut whom he assumed was his roommate and a pretty girl with dark hair who looked like skinnier version on Monica.

"What are you doing?" Ross asked as the two both jumped and moved away from his bed. They both looked a little nervous.

"Hi, sorry...I'm Chandler and this is Lizzie. Sorry...you must be-"

"Ross. Geller. I took that bed. Hope that's okay."

"It's fine. Um...we were just admiring this picture of your girlfriend. She's very pretty," Chandler said.

"Oh, she's not my girlfriend. She's...I have a bit of a crush on her. I've had a crush on her since like ninth grade, and...she's a senior this year. She's friends with my sister. Her name is Rachel."

"Does she have a penis?" Chandler asked which made Lizzie suddenly smack him.

"Chandler," Lizzie said.

"What?" Ross asked. What the hell was this guy's problem? He really seemed like an asshole. He really did not want to hate someone based on a first impression, but he did feel the sudden desire to punch him.

"Big Giant Fetus. Does she like Big Giant Fetus? It's an underground rock band. It's...uh...yeah, Lizzie and I are gonna...I'll see you later," Chandler said as he walked past Ross and out the door. Ross looked at the door and walked towards his desk and grabbed his phone. He picked it up and dialed. Jonathan picked it up immediately.

"I met my roommate," Ross said.

"And?"

"He seems like an asshole."

"Really?"

"Either that or first impressions don't mean anything but I really want to punch him in the face."

"Well, that's not good."

"I know. How's your roommate?"

"His name is Sam Sloan. He's nice so far….if your roommate turns to out to be an ass, then you can hang with us. I swear."

"Thanks. Maybe we can write him into a comic book character."

"Villain or Superhero?"

"Haven't decided. Let's make him a villain for now and make changes later."

"You wanna meet Sam and I at that pizza place we were at earlier. Sam writes too."

"Yes," Ross said as he got up and left the room. He was annoyed already by Chandler. The guy really did seem like a prick. His whole attitude just reeked and he constantly acted like he was better than everyone and it just pissed him off. Chandler would be the villain. He could be Prick Man, close friends with Pimp, the Keymaster from the party in Queens. Pimp Keymaster searches for women for both him and Prick Man. Now the comic book would include a Ghostbusters cross over.

As the first weeks of school wore on, Ross' feelings about Chandler began to change. Chandler was not a villain. Well, at least not completely. When Chandler was sober, there was no funnier guy. Ross could not believe the jokes and one-liners this guy could come up with just on the spot. He wished he could peer into his head and figure out how Chandler's brain worked so fast. It was amazing but when he drank, when he got drunk which was every single night, he became a villain. He wasn't angry persay, just sounded entitled, sounded like a prick. Ross also felt bad for Chandler's girlfriend, Lizzie. Lizzie was constantly taking care of him and it was because of her that Ross decided to have the "no girls spending the night rule". Chandler had thought it was ridiculous but Ross refused to give his reasoning which was he wanted Lizzie to have the nights off from worrying about him. He would worry about Chandler and Lizzie could rest. It was something he confided in Lizzie about but told her to not tell Chandler.

"The man is an alcoholic and a drug addict," Ross said over pizza with Sam and Jonathan. Anytime he could have a break from Chandler, he'd hang out in Sam and Jonathan's room and he was so grateful for the two of them.

"Seriously?" Jonathan asked.

"I'm serious. I went to the library to read up on addiction because I think that's what he has and he definitely fits the criteria. He is an addict, but I don't think he realizes it. He really is convinced he has no problems. He hates me though….except, of course when it's time for me to drive him to a party," Ross said.

"He does have an awesome car though," Sam mused.

"That he does and it is fun getting to drive that thing," Ross grinned, it was the saving grace. Chandler had a cherry red Corvette that was stunning. He had gotten it for his sixteenth birthday and Ross had been given the role of designated driver, a role he took on every single night. He would often bring books with him to study in the car while Chandler spent the night partying.

That Halloween, Ross had decided to stay home. He had an early day the next day. He, Sam and Jonathan were going to go on a field trip to Niagara Falls. They had never gone and felt it was time. They could write, take pictures, be creative. He wasn't in the mood for an all night party but, of course, he needed to check in with Chandler. Chandler was going out, dressed as Prince and when Lizzie arrived, dressed as Wonder Woman, Ross watched as Chandler immediately kissed her and the two were practically pawing at each other.

"Oh, baby," Chandler grinned. "I like this a lot."

"I thought you would," Lizzie said as the two continued kissing, "oh, Prince."

"You guys realize, I'm right here," Ross said, disgusted but he also knew something Lizzie didn't. Before she had arrived, Chandler had already polished off two beers so obnoxious Chandler was on full display. Prick Man.

"Hmmm, Ross...come with us," Lizzie said.

"I'm fine...unless, do you want me to be your designated driver? I'll drive Sally, if you want. I just need to be home before ten," Ross said, although regretting it. He so did not want to be this guy's designated driver. He wanted a night off.

"It's Saturday. You don't need to be home before ten...and you know what...Liz is right, come with us, Ross. Have you ever gotten wasted?"

"I'm not twenty one. It's illegal to drink if you're not twenty one," Ross said, although he did regret that statement. Of course he had drank before but he really had never been drunk before.

"Dude, I've been drinking since I was nine," Chandler said.

"That's really not something to be proud of though," Lizzie said.

"Nine? You're joking, right?" Ross asked. Chandler often would say things like that. Ross knew Chandler came from wealth but sometimes Chandler would make these comments about his childhood and Ross was never sure if he was joking or not.

"No. Come on, Ross. You're in college," Chandler said.

"Aren't you afraid of your parents finding out?" Ross asked that question on purpose. He was digging. He wanted to know why this kid was the way he was.

"Uh well-"

"I wouldn't go there," Lizzie said. "Come on, Ross. You got Wonder Woman to protect you."

Ross let out a sigh and reluctantly agreed, deciding to drive the Corvette which was named Sally Dissisa Corvette and of course at the Halloween party, Chandler once again got obliterated and by eleven, Chandler was cuddled up next to Lizzie as she gave him water. Ross was watching and he just felt bad. He had never been exposed to someone like this, someone who so clearly had some serious problems that Ross wasn't even sure Chandler knew he had.

"Hmmmm," Chandler groaned as Lizzie gave him more water. Ross reached for a piece of candy from a bowl.

"He sure does drink a lot, doesn't he?" Ross asked.

"I don't drink a lot...I...I just...I party like a snorkel...wait, that doesn't make sense...a fish. Fish are funny," Chandler slurred.

"Baby, drink some more water," Lizzie said.

"I wanna 'nother shot of a Jello...those were yummy in the tummy," Chandler said, laughing as he drank some of the water Lizzie gave him.

"He's...he likes to have fun," Lizzie said.

"But it's scary. He gets wasted every time he goes to a party. It's really not...he's only eighteen. It's not even legal for him to be getting this drunk and what if-"

"You know what, Ross. Shut the fuck up. 'Kay...you don't know me. You know me no not at all. 'Kay...just shut up," Chandler said.

"He doesn't mean that. He's just drunk. Hey, can I sleep in your room tonight and take care of him. I know you don't like me staying in there but-" Lizzie said.

"No, you can...it's fine." Ross said.

"Um...Lizzie you gonna sleep with me tonight?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, baby," Lizzie said.

"Am I gonna have sex?" Chandler asked.

"No, sweetie. We're gonna sleep."

"He's an alcoholic," Ross mused.

"No, I'm not. You're an al-chew-al-coo...that's a hard word," Chandler said, his eyes barely open as Lizzie held him and Ross looked on. Chandler soon passed out and Lizzie looked at Chandler, still taking care of him.

"Why do you keep taking care of him?" Ross asked. "He's putting you through a lot."

"I know….it's just….okay, he's had a lot of crap in his life. I don't know. I don't even know if I'm enabling him or keeping him alive, it's just-"

"I get it."

"Sorry, I know you wanted to get home early."

"It's okay."

"He is a good guy, Chandler. He is, really," Lizzie said.

"I know, I know. He's hilarious."

"I know. Has he told you the polar bear joke?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes, that was not good. The puppet one was funny and then there was one about a moth that was good. How does that man know so many jokes?"

"I don't know," Lizzie said. "Ross, am I enabling him? Should I just let him drink and hope he figures this out on his own? What do I do?"

"I don't know."

"I know I probably sound like a whack job, I don't know if I'm coming on too strong or if I'm….I'm dangerously close to the edge."

"I really couldn't tell you, Liz. I mean, I've never dealt with this before but you're not doing this alone. I promise. I'll help."

"Thank you," Lizzie said as she looked back at Chandler who was now snoring. He and Lizzie decided it was time to call it night and together worked to carry Chandler out to the car. Ross drove and soon both he and Lizzie got him back into his bed where he was still sleeping. Lizzie lay next to him as Ross got into his pajamas and got in his bed.

"What's the deal with you and Rachel?" Lizzie asked. "You never dated her?"

"No, i didn't. She's….she's not as bad as you and Chandler think she is. I think she hides a lot of stuff and she feels like she has to act a certain way and it's just weird. Have you met her?"

"At camp. With Chandler."

"Oh, you three went to the same camp?"

"Yeah, she was really mean to me. She and her friends. This girl Mindy….I remember her and Sharon."

"Oh, well, if she was around those two girls then she's on. She's mean. Talk to her alone and she's very nice. It's kinda like Chandler. They both have a lot to hide. Actually, I bet if they really talked they'd be really good friends."

"I guess….but you do like Rachel?" Lizzie asked.

"She's okay. She would never go out with me."

"I'm going to set you up."

"You don't have to," Ross said, waving her off.

"Really?"

"No, you totally can," Ross grinned which made Lizzie laugh. He actually liked this girl. He liked her a lot and wished Chandler would see that.

The next morning, Ross woke up early and got ready for Niagara Falls. Before leaving, he got himself, Lizzie and Chandler coffee and walked back to the dorm. As he slammed the door shut, Chandler was waking up and Lizzie was sitting silently.

"Oh, not so loud," Chandler said.

"I brought you coffee," Ross said.

"Thanks," Chandler said as Ross handed both Lizzie and Chandler their coffee. Ross watched as Chandler placed the coffee on his desk and reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a pill bottle. He put six in his hand and swallowed them down with the coffee.

"What did you take?" Ross asked.

"I thought you stopped that," Lizzie said.

"It's Vicodin, it's fine...it helps with hangovers."

"You took six?" Ross asked.

"Stop judging me. Please. Both of you," Chandler said.

"I hate this...you promised that you would stop or at least not drink so much," Lizzie said.

"I will...just I'm fine. Okay-"

"No, you're not," Ross said.

"You don't care about having fun," Chandler said.

"That's not true," Ross said.

"Unplug that humidifier or I'm throwing it threw at the wall," Chandler said.

Ross nodded and reached down to unplug it. He knew his roommate hated the humidifier although he was tempted to tell Chandler that the humidifier was the least of his problems. Chandler lay back down on the bed and covered his face with the pillow, Lizzie gently stroked his stomach and placed her head on his chest.

"Look, Chandler...I'm not an evil person. I know we come from two different worlds. Just help me understand yours," Ross said.

"Leave me alone, Ross," Chandler said.

Ross nodded and got up. He quietly walked out of the dorm, slamming the door shut behind him. He walked off to meet Jonathan and Sam, thankful to be away from Chandler. Although, they did finally come up with a name for Chandler in their comic book. He would now be The Comic. When sober, could cure the world with just one joke but his weaknesses were threatening to destroy him. This was surely becoming the best comic book series ever.


	7. Chapter 7

**November 1987**

He was starting to enjoy Monica a lot more now that he was out of the house, when she would to come into the city to volunteer somewhere, they would grab something to eat and talk. Mainly, Ross would talk about Chandler. The drinking was getting worse, nothing had ever been said about Halloween, but nothing really needed to be said, after all, it didn't even matter. He would drink just as much the next night.

"He drinks so much," Ross complained over pizza. He was sitting across from Monica at a pizza place near NYU. "I have to drive his ass home practically every night."

"That sucks," Monica said as she took a big bite of her pepperoni pizza.

"He's got a nice car. He drives a Corvette that he calls, Sally...I enjoy driving that but he's kind of a self indulged, self entitled prick. He has this girlfriend, Lizzie...oh my G-d, he takes advantage of this poor girl. Every single night, she's taking care of him as he's puking in the toilet."

"You think he's an alcoholic?"

"Oh, yeah. Chandler is definitely an alcoholic. But don't tell him that. Oh and he threatened to break my humidifier and whenever I tell him..." Ross makes a motion with his hands as if to tell someone to quiet down, "he flips me off."

"Okay, I told you to not bring the humidifier and the quiet hands thing is annoying...but why don't you move out?"

"'Cause with the exception of Lizzie, the guy has got no one."

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Really. He thinks he's hot shit, but I don't know, the guy is broken. I feel bad for him. During Halloween, which he forced me to go to, he admitted he'd been drinking since he was nine years old and to cure his hangover the next morning, he took Vicodin."

"Oh my G-d."

"Yeah."

"He doesn't have family?"

"Not like us. For Thanksgiving, he told me he's gonna go home and spend it alone watching movies and smoking pot."

"Oh my G-d. He needs to come to our house for Thanksgiving."

"He's gonna drink."

"Then at least he can be around people who can take care of him."

"Mon," Ross said, giving her a grin. He knew that look. He knew what was in her head. She wanted to take care of him.

"What?"

"You don't need to take care of everyone."

"You take care of him."

"He's my roommate."

"Have him come to Thanksgiving."

"He doesn't eat Thanksgiving food."

"Then I'll make him something else. Look, bring him."

"I'll ask."

Ross did ask and was stunned when Chandler said okay. So that Thanksgiving Break, Ross and Chandler put all their stuff in the back of Chandler's Corvette and headed out to Long Island. Ross was kind of excited to see Rachel. He hadn't seen Rachel in so long. He wondered what she would think, wondered what he'd say to her. He also wondered what he should tell Chandler. He knew about Rachel and Chandler's run in at camp and he knew Chandler hated her but he didn't want to tell him that Rachel might be there….or maybe he could gently?

"So you got this car on your sixteenth birthday?" Ross asked.

"Yep. Bought it myself," Chandler said.

"Wow and her name is Sally Corvette?" Ross asked.

"Sally D. Corvette. The D stands for Dissisa."

"Sally Diss-is-a Corvette. Clever," Ross said, although he knew that. Chandler had told him that. He may have been drunk at the time and didn't remember but he did tell Ross. Ross did enjoy hearing it though. He wanted to know all. Chandler let a life so different than his. Like Richie Rich with booze and drugs.

"Your parents won't mind that I don't eat Thanksgiving food?"

"No...it's fine. Why don't you eat Thanksgiving food?"

"My parents told me they were divorcing on Thanksgiving. I was nine. It was also one of my first times getting hammered."

"Are you serious? You say crap like that but...come on, you got drunk at nine?" Ross asked. These things that Chandler said, yes he sounded entitled, he sounded like everyone owed him something but some of the things Chandler would mention just made him sad.

"I'm serious. Ross, I didn't grow up like you. My parents were not involved in my life. The night they divorced, they had a party. I got drunk. I've also tried LSD and pot and...I've been through a lot."

"I'm sorry," Ross said and he really was. He was said for this kid. He had never known anyone who had been through what Chandler had apparently gone through.

"I didn't have bedtimes," Chandler said, grinning slightly.

"Not even in boarding school."

"Nope."

"Why did you go to boarding school? Why not a regular high school?" Ross asked.

"I don't wanna tell you that."

Chandler suddenly sat up a bit straighter and stared ahead. Ross noticed how nervous he got. It did make him more curious, but he would back off.

"Okay...fair enough."

Chandler let out a sigh and looked at Ross before glancing back at the road, "I was beaten up so badly in eighth grade that I went in and out of consciousness on the floor of the boys locker room for eight hours and no one bothered to look for me. Um, this guy Shane grabbed me by the dick, squeezed, threw me to the ground and kicked the living shit out of me. I had to stumble home alone and I did not want to face people like that in high school."

"Oh my G-d," Ross stared at him, not sure what to say. It made sense though, everything about Chandler Bing just clicked. Why he drank so much? Why he made jokes? Why he acted the way he did. He wasn't entitled. He was lost, in pain. He wondered if Rachel knew, although probably not. That seemed unlikely.

"Do not tell anyone that."

"I won't. Did you ever press charges?" Ross asked.

"No."

"Wow...I had no idea. I was bullied. Maybe not as badly as you. But I mean, I look like Mr. Kotter."

Although, that wasn't quite true. Sure, there were mean kids but he just never cared enough. He had never really experienced that kind of bullying.

"At least you're aware of it. Look, Ross...I know we got off on the wrong foot. I'm really not an asshole. I'm sorry. We got the rest of the year left."

"Yeah and I'm sorry too...I'll try to loosen up," Ross said.

"It's fine...although, I'm not kidding about the humidifier. I really will throw it through the wall."

"Alright, I'll leave it unplugged," Ross said.

"Good."

Chandler continued driving as Ross leaned towards the radio and turned it on. A Culture Club song began blaring through the speakers, the tension seemed to melt away and Chandler and Ross actually began talking. The more they talked, the more Ross liked Chandler. They had a lot in common, they loved music, loved the Knicks and Chandler told him that he would take him to his first Rangers game, which made him happy. He had always liked the Rangers but he had never gone to a game.

"You would?" Ross asked.

"Of course but I have to warn you. I'm kind of a dick at hockey games."

"You yell at the players?"

"No. No, I….I don't talk."

"To?"

"Anyone. Actually, I usually suggest people bring a friend."

"You just sit quietly?" Ross asked, grinning.

"It's intense for me….I'm watching everything and I don't have the time to explain things or...turn away and not look at the ice."

"But you're not playing."

"It doesn't matter."

"Alright...well, that's weird."

"I know. I'll talk at a Knicks game just not Rangers. It's just too hard."

"You're a whack job," Ross teased.

"More than you'll know," Chandler said.

"So how did you and Lizzie meet?"

"I was in L.A. for the summer and I met her at a kids improv class thing. She was my first kiss. I'm not sure I was her's. Our first kiss? I was so afraid of doing it wrong that I did not move. I like her though."

"You treat her like crap."

"I know," Chandler said. "I don't have a drinking problem, though. I really don't. I know I drink a lot but….I don't."

"Alright, you don't," Ross said. He had been reading up on addiction and knew he could no longer tell Chandler that there was a problem, especially when Chandler wasn't ready to admit there was one.

Once they got to the house, Ross was immediately enveloped by his parents wanting to know everything about college. Ross had noticed Rachel and Chandler talking but it did not seem friendly. He wondered what they were saying to each other and when he noticed Rachel storm off, he walked towards Chandler who was glaring at Rachel.

"G-d, isn't she gorgeous. Look at her," Ross said. He knew he was laying it on thick but he was doing it on purpose. He wanted to know what Chandler would say. Would Chandler get mad at him? Ask questions? Although, she did look gorgeous.

"She's a national treasure."

"I love her so much. Don't you think she's stunning...and oh, that smile and laugh...it's contagious," Ross said which made himself a little nauseous. He really wanted to get Chandler's reaction. He wanted Chandler to tell him what she had done to cause so much hatred? What had happened at camp that made him hate her this much?

"Yep...like herpes," Chandler muttered.

"What?" Ross asked, although he heard it loud and clear.

"Nothing. I'm getting a drink," Chandler said when Ross grabbed his arm.

"Dude, you can't drink alcohol. My parents are far stricter."

"Fine," Chandler walked over to a table with sodas and alcohol on it. He hoped that Chandler would not get drunk that night. He really didn't want to clean up after him. He watched as Monica talked with Chandler and then Rachel approaching them and dragging Monica off. He watched as Chandler picked up the bottle of Jack and poured more in there. Ross walked over.

"You're really gonna get drunk at my parents house?" Ross asked.

"Leave me alone."

"No."

"Fine, if I get drunk, you'll drive us home."

"You can be a real asshole, you know that," Ross said. Chandler grinned as he took a long sip of his drink. Ross really just wanted to punch him in the face but then he remembered what they discussed in the car, what Chandler had told him. Instead, Ross let out a sigh. "Sorry, I didn't….how can I help you?"

"Help with what?"

"I don't know. Clearly, you don't need help," Ross said as Rachel walked over to them, looking rather pissed off. She grabbed a cup and began pouring herself a coke.

"Hi, princess," Chandler said.

"Hi, asshole," Rachel said.

"You know, Rachel you look very pretty tonight," Ross said, now wondering about Rachel's hatred towards Chandler. .

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you look like someone who should be working a street corner," Chandler said. Rachel shook her head and just glared at him.

"Hmmm, I'd say something but I bet a prostitute wouldn't even touch you," Rachel said, walking away from him. Chandler rolled his eyes as he continued drinking.

"That's the woman you love."

"Be nice to her," Ross said.

"Why? She's a horrible person."

"So are you. Be nice to her," Ross said as he stepped back and began to walk towards Rachel.

"I'm not a horrible person, Ross."

"I know. That's the problem. It's also her problem too. Maybe you two should get to know each other, you might become friends," Ross said, before turning and walking towards the couch where Rachel was sitting. Ross sat next to her.

"Hey...so you and my roommate hate each other?" Ross asked.

"What was your first clue?" Rachel asked.

"He's actually an okay guy."

"Whatever."

"Well….yeah, so...what are you doing for the rest of Thanksgiving break?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm home. Maybe we can do something."

"Maybe."

Rachel walked away from him. She was in an awful mood and this Thanksgiving was feeling more and more awkward by the moment. Chandler and Rachel really seemed to hate each other, Monica kept trying to talk to Chandler and everything felt so weird. Then after dinner, Chandler decided they needed to leave. They should go out. Ross was tired and wanted to talk to Rachel. He really hadn't talked to her all that much and he really wanted to just catch up with her. Chandler had other plans.

"No, dude...come on...we can go out. There are parties going on somewhere...let's go," Chandler said.

"Tonight might be the night...with Rachel. Just stay here and then we'll drive back and hit up a party."

"C'mon...I don't wanna be here with your fat sister all evening," Chandler said.

"That's not cool man," Ross said. Chandler really could say stupid things at times.

"Alright...I'm going somewhere. You coming?" Chandler asked.

"No, I wanna stay here with my family on Thanksgiving."

"Fine. I'll leave. I'll pick you up on the last day of break."

"I'll take a train back," Ross said.

"Great," Chandler said and with that he left as did Rachel. Rachel didn't even say goodbye to him when he left. He was starting to feel annoyed. Annoyed with Chandler, annoyed with Rachel, annoyed with Monica who suddenly seemed very upset about something. He just felt like the only sane one or the only one that didn't care. He spent the rest of Thanksgiving weekend catching up with Will and of course, hanging out with Jonathan. He had heard something about Rachel having a party at her house, something about Monica not being invited but Monica didn't say anything. At least not until he was woken up very early Sunday morning by a phone ringing. He let out a groan and looked at his clock, it was six in the morning and he covered his face with his pillow when soon he felt someone sitting on his bed and ripping the pillow off his face.

"Go away," Ross groaned.

"I am going to Rachel's house."

"Now?"

"After she left our house on Thanksgiving, she had a two day rager with no parents….and it was a rager I was not invited to but her parents are out of town and they called and now she needs me to help her clean up."

"You're really going to her house at 6 am to help clean up a party you weren't invited to?"

"I'm making her pay me."

Ross looked at her. He raised an eyebrow and sat up. Did he hear her correctly?

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"I told her everyone needs to be gone by the time I get there, she needs to pay me and take me to dinner."

Ross nodded as he let that sink in. He was strangely proud of his sister.

"Way to go, Mon." Ross said.

"Yeah, I thought so."

"By the way, are you okay? You seemed upset after Thanksgiving? Sorry I didn't check in."

"It's okay. Just….I don't know if I like your roommate, he's kind of a douche."

"He's been through a lot Mon. He's got some real serious issues. It's not like fixing Rachel or her issues. This is….this is pretty serious. Get him when he's not using or drunk and he's a good guy."

"You know, you wanna make fun of me but you're just as bad. You wanna fix Chandler just much as I wanna fix Rachel. Let's face it, Geller. You and I are a couple of fixers….and if we succeed, well, they better buy us presents."

"Fuck presents, I want money," Ross grumbled.

"Me too…..but my G-d, Chandler and Rachel hate each other."

"Oh yeah and you know what's funny? They don't realize how much they have in common," Ross said.

"You think they'd make a good couple?"

"No, I think they'd make really good friends."

"Hopefully, they realize it before they kill each other," Monica said.

"True."

"Alright, I gotta go earn my money. You wanna come help?"

"Not even a little bit."

"Alright, if I don't see you before you go….have a nice ride back to NYU and good luck with the alcoholic."

"Thank you and good luck with the bitch," Ross grinned as Monica playfully punched him and walked out of the room. Ross rested a bit more before deciding to head back to NYU. He got back later that day and Chandler still wasn't there so he went to the pizza place across from NYU and was shocked to see Lizzie there, reading and eating pizza. He got his food and went to sit across from her. She seemed happy to see him.

"So, he drank as soon as we got to my parents house and then left," Ross said.

"He left early?" Lizzie asked.

"He went to his mom's house. He did call to let me know that."

Lizzie let out a pained sigh. Ross felt awful for this girl. He wished he knew what to say to help but this was all new territory for him and seemingly for her as well.

"He's going to die, Ross. I am so afraid. I….I'm going to get a call. I know I will get a call and he doesn't even realize….no, maybe he'll be okay….maybe-"

"Liz, did something happen? When he was younger? Maybe I shouldn't be telling you but….he said some really disturbing things to me in the car on the way to Thanksgiving."

"You mean what happened with his mom's boyfriend?" Lizzie asked.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What happened with his mom's boyfriend? He told me about some kid in middle school who terrorized him."

"Oh. I don't wanna tell you about the other thing. It's just bad. It's all bad. He wasn't given a chance," Lizzie said, with tears filling her eyes, "and I don't know what to do?"

"Hey, why do you think I don't want you sleeping in our room. You deserve a break."

"I can't believe he started drinking as soon as he walked in."

"Rachel was there."

"Oh G-d," Lizzie said, wiping the tears from her face.

"Yeah, they hate each other and Rachel….I don't know."

"I'm setting you up. A friend of mine is having a party in our hall tonight. It's like a welcome back from break party and you should come because there is a girl named, Carol who is very sweet and I think….I don't know….she's very different from Rachel and from one friend to another, I think it's time to get over Rachel."

"I think you're right. She's never gonna like me anyway," Ross said. It would be good to meet someone else and he needed a girlfriend. This was a goal. The first semester of his first year of college was almost done and he needed a girlfriend and if Rachel would never be it, perhaps it would be someone else. Maybe Carol.

That night, Chandler and Ross met up with Lizzie in her hall where the party was at. Lizzie grabbed Ross and pulled him over towards a tall blonde, sipping from a red cup.

"She's hot," Chandler said.

"Hey," Lizzie said, looking at him.

"I'm helping my friend," Chandler said.

"Don't worry, Lizzie….you're hot too," Ross said.

"Hey," Chandler said, which made Ross laugh. Lizzie grinned as she linked her arm in Chandler's and the three walked towards Carol.

"Carol," Lizzie said, tapping Carol on the shoulder.

"Hey," Carol said hugging Lizzie.

"I want you to meet someone, this is Ross. Ross, Carol, Carol, Ross," Lizzie said.

Ross and Carol shook hands. He liked this girl. She was pretty, very different this from Rachel. Perhaps that was a good thing.

"Nice to meet you, Ross," Carol said.

"Okay, I will let you two talk and I'm going to watch as my boyfriend gets obliterated and I'll take care of him as he pukes in a toilet," Lizzie said in a tone that Ross couldn't help but laugh at. It was laced with sarcasm.

"You're the best girlfriend ever," Chandler said as the two walked off. Ross shook his head and looked back at Carol.

"I keep saying, he puts her through hell," Carol said.

"Yeah, I know. He's my roommate," Ross said.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Carol laughed as the two began to get to know each other. They had a lot in common. Carol was funny, sweet and someone he began to fall for, someone he really began to like and he was getting the feeling she liked him back. Perhaps Carol would be the perfect person to finally get him past Rachel Green.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for the reviews so far! Please review more because with review, a dollar goes...well nowhere...but it's good! Also, I'm glad a lot of you are liking Lizzie a little more. I know she was a hated character in Chandler's story, so I hope I'm adding a few more layers to this character.

December 1987

"So Two-Face is Rachel?" Chandler asked as he, Ross and Lizzie were sitting around a small table eating pizza and drinking sodas, well Ross and Lizzie were drinking sodas. Chandler had snuck a tiny bottle of booze into the pizzeria and was currently drinking coke and rum. Lizzie and Ross ignored it as they had grown accustomed to it and because some battles they no longer felt like fighting. Instead, Ross had told them about the comic books.

"And you are Science Boy?" Lizzie asked.

"The Adventure of Two-Face and Science Boy. Yeah, we work on them a lot. We did one that was a crossover with Ghostbusters," Ross said.

"I love that movie," Chandler said.

"Well, duh. It's the best movie ever," Ross said.

"It is….wait, a Ghostbusters crossover?" Chandler asked.

"Well, I gotta be honest...it's not quite Ghostbusters because we figured if we sold it, we'd owe the producers money but it's sorta inspired because I went to this party once at this house and the guy there was like a pimp and he was totally like the Keymaster looking for his Gatekeeper."

"Whoa," Chandler said.

"I know," Ross said.

"You went to a party in high school?" Chandler asked.

"Funny, drink more," Ross said.

"And you know what, how many parties did you go to in high school?" Lizzie asked.

"Lots and I had a lot of girlfriends….okay, girlfriend. Okay, you," Chandler said.

"It was a dumb party. This guy was a total tool. He was standing at the door ushering people in and had girls attached to him like velcro," Ross said.

"Were you jealous?" Lizzie asked.

"I was," Ross said.

"Guys like that are never happy," Chandler said, "I just have to keep telling myself that."

"You know, I wanna start a band. I bet guys who have bands get lots of girls," Ross said.

"That would be so cool. A band. We should."

"Can I be in it?" Lizzie asked. "You have to have a girl in the band."

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause if you don't, you'll get wasted, I won't be there to take care of you and then you'll end up cheating on me with a groupie and then I'll get pissed off at you," Lizzie said.

"Okay," Chandler said.

It was a good idea, a perfect idea. He would start a band with Chandler and Lizzie. They would call themselves, "Way, No Way" and they would do cover songs. Their suitemate, Kip, was also going to be in the band which Ross didn't love all that much. Kip lived in Chandler and Ross' suite and shared their common area. Chandler liked Kip and Ross thought he was a douche. He also disliked one of Chandler's other friends, Gandalf, who seemed to encourage Chandler's drinking. Kip and Gandalf made fun of Ross every chance they got and he felt that the only reason the two guys were friends with Chandler was because Chandler could easily pay for anything they wanted, but if it meant hanging out with Chandler and playing music, he would suck it up. A rock star who wrote comics and dug up dinosaur bones, a semester into his first year of college and he was quite certain this was going to push him into the realm of ladies man.

Right before winter break, there was a party. He had invited Monica and was also inviting Rachel. He wasn't sure he should. Maybe he should think more about Carol, although they hadn't really talked all that much since the party in Lizzie's hall. Maybe he thought Rachel seeing him in a different light would be good, maybe he could invite her to Way, No Way's first show at the Asian Student Union but all he knew was a few days before the party, he was on the phone with Rachel listening to her complain and whine about Chip Matthews who was apparently cheating on her…..again.

"Come, it'll be fun," Ross said.

"I have a boyfriend….even though he slept with Samantha Milano."

He wasn't sure who that was but Chip cheating on Rachel was nothing new.

"So let me ask you something, in the years that you've dated Chip Matthews….how many times has he cheated on you?"

"I don't know. I don't keep track."

"Why are you dating him?"

"Because….he's cute and sweet and likes me."

He was glad that she couldn't see him roll his eyes. Really? He just really did not understand why any of this was important.

"There will be a huge party this weekend….Monica is coming, it will be fun."

"Will Chandler be there?"

"Probably yes," Ross said, looking over at Chandler who was laying on his bed, reading and drinking a beer.

"Ugh, gross. I don't wanna...ugh…"

"He has a girlfriend, Lizzie," Ross said and glanced over at Chandler who was now looking at him.

"Lizzie?" Rachel asked.

"Yes."

"How does a loser like that get to be in a serious, committed, stable relationship and I get...Chip Matthews?"

He let out a laugh. He wasn't sure he would call Lizzie and Chandler stable.

"I don't think it's stable. Lizzie and I spend a lot of time cleaning up after him. He gets wasted a lot," Ross said when suddenly a pillow smacked him in the head. Chandler mouthed, "hey" to which Ross responded by mouthing, "it's true."

"Lovely. You know, he sounds like he has a drinking problem."

"He does….but he really is a good guy. Maybe one day you two will be friends. I actually think you two would make a good team. You both like movies, you both pull amazing pranks, you're both funny. I could actually see you two being very good friends," Ross said. It almost seemed funny to him watching how both Rachel and Chandler would tear each other apart. He really could see them as friends and he felt he was the only one who could see this.

"In order for that to happen, hell would have to freeze over….pigs would have to fly and like monkeys would like explode into shiny pieces of monkey bacon," Rachel mused which made Ross laugh.

"Alright, alright. You and Chandler will never be friends."

"Ever."

Ross laughed as Rachel let out a whine. He looked over at Chandler who was staring at him. Ross eventually hung up with Rachel and looked back at Chandler.

"You know, trashing me while I'm in the room, not good roommate etiquette," Chandler said.

"But I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Ross grinned.

"Bite me and Rachel and I will never be friends. She's evil."

"She did say that in order for you two to be friends hell would have to freeze over, pigs would have to fly and monkeys would have to explode into shiny pieces of monkey bacon," Ross said and watched Chandler's face for a reaction. He noticed that it looked like Chandler was trying to suppress a grin.

"Hmmm….well, she's right."

"Wait, do you find that funny?"

"I'm not giving her that kind of satisfaction."

"She's not here," Ross said.

"You'll still tell her."

"I won't. She is funny though. Sometimes she can be as funny as you."

"That's hurtful," Chandler said.

"And I wasn't lying about the pranks. She one time filled my desk with honey and dental floss and she one time filled her sister's shampoo bottle with food coloring and it made her sister's hair like blue or green or something."

"Hmmm, those aren't bad….I still think she's a witch," Chandler said. Ross laughed. He just found it almost funny how stuck both he and Rachel were on just hating each other.

"Okay."

"By the way, why are you inviting her?"

"'Cause….it will be fun to see her."

"I thought you liked that blonde chick?"

"Carol. Yes. But….we're not dating and…maybe, I don't know."

"And my relationship with Lizzie is not unhealthy," Chandler said.

"Are you joking? You're an alcoholic who doesn't know he's an alcoholic and you put her through emotional hell. Yeah, you're the perfect catch," Ross said.

"I am not an alcoholic," Chandler said as he took a drink of his beer, "I like to drink. Liking to drink does not make you an alcoholic."

"Okay."

"And Lizzie isn't even sure if she can even come to the party because she has to study so I will take care of my own drinking."

"You'll show me."

"I will. I am not an alcoholic. My name is Chandler Bing and I'm not an alcoholic," he said as he raised his beer and continued drinking. Ross let out a sigh and looked back at his desk. He was working as well on a paper for class. Studying was the thing that helped him for a moment forget about Rachel and forget about Chandler. He had actually enjoyed studying, maybe not the way Monica did. His sister viewed it as a competition, he viewed it as a way to let everyone know how much he had learned.

He was actually starting to enjoy college parties. They were kinda fun, although, he did primarily stick with hanging out with Sam and Jonathan. They were his buddies. They thought like him and he enjoyed that and they could all drink responsibly although they were pissed about the band thing. He had wanted Jonathan and Sam in the band but he had been overruled by Chandler having Kip, Lizzie and even Gandalf.

"We're so going to heckle you at the Asian Student Union tomorrow," Jonathan mused.

"Hey, I wanted you guys. I swear. It's just Chandler want Kip and Gandalf. I hate them. I hate Gandalf more. Every single time I suggest we don't give Chandler more booze, he goes 'oh, here have another beer, Bing'. Do you not realize how big of an ass you are?" Ross said.

"And why do you wanna be Chandler's roommate next year?" Jonathan asked.

"Because I'm afraid if I left him on his own, he'd die," Ross said. "He's pushing Liz way too far and we're the only two who thinks he has a problem."

"Gandalf is not cool enough to pull off the name Gandalf," Sam said.

"He's really not," Jonathan said.

"Ross?" Carol asked, walking towards him. She looked very pretty with her long blonde hair. Ross grinned when he saw her. She was in one of his anthropology lecture.

"Carol, hey….these are my friends, Sam and Jonathan," Ross said as the introductions were made and as soon as they were done, he and Carol walked away from them. He wanted to get to know her, focus on her. Yes, he knew Rachel would arrive soon but it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone else.

"So are you ready for the anthropology final?" Carol asked.

"No...well, I'm supposed to say no and be like, 'I haven't studied' but actually, I made flashcards weeks ago and yes, I am ready for it."

Carol laughed, "we are almost finished with our first semester of school. It went by so fast and quick. It's so strange."

"Are you from here?"

"Tyler, Texas."

"You like New York?"

"Yeah, it's different here. I feel like you can kind of be yourself."

"Or it's easier to hide," Ross said.

"Yeah. I'm not hiding anything."

"Me neither."

He found himself liking this girl. Something comforting about talking with her, far more comforting than talking to Rachel. Carol was the polar opposite of Rachel. She seemed to be confident in herself, in who she was. She spoke passionately about education and seemed to know exactly what she wanted out of life. She was driven and intelligent and not worried about school dances or cheating high school boyfriends. This could turn into something. He did notice Monica and Rachel arrive but he was busy. He wanted to get to know Carol.

"I think I'm over Rachel," Ross said to Chandler. He had noticed Chandler pouring vodka into a large red cup and he wanted to check in with his roommate. Lizzie wasn't there so he figured he'd take a break from talking to Carol to check in with Chandler.

"Really?"

"Look at that girl over there? Her name is Carol, she's in my anthropology class," Ross pointed at Carol. Although it did occur to him that Chandler and Carol had met at that party where Lizzie introduced Ross to Carol but he figured Chandler didn't remember. The introduction had been brief and because Carol was not a giant bottle of booze, Ross figured Chandler wouldn't remember and he was right.

"She's pretty," Chandler said.

"Yeah. I'm gonna talk to her. She apparently digs the 'stache," Ross said, pointing to his mustache. It was a recent development. He had decided to try and grow one and he thought it looked quite good.

"Well, I know it drives me crazy," Chandler said, drinking a little more.

"Go easy on the booze, please."

"Leave me alone, Ross," Chandler said.

"You know I'm not going to do that and you know...next year, you're staying at my place for the entire Thanksgiving break," Ross said.

"Fine. By the way, your sister and Rachel are in our room."

"Fine and I really don't want to have to clean up after you tonight. Seriously, Liz is not here. Let me have a night off."

"I don't need a babysitter, Ross."

"No, you need an AA Sponsor."

"You know, the alcoholic jokes are getting old."

"They're not jokes," Ross said as he turned and began to walk off towards Carol. When he reached her, he turned back and looked towards Chandler surprised to see Lizzie next to him. He hadn't even seen her walk in and almost wished she had stuck to her word and not come to the party but he knew she would.

They had fallen asleep on the couches in the common room. Chandler and Lizzie on one couch and Ross and Carol on another. Carol and Ross had gotten up early and went for breakfast. He had checked on Monica and Rachel but they were both sound asleep. It had been a very relaxing day with Carol. They talked over breakfast, got to know each other. Carol came from a very religious family who hated New York, thought it was filled with too much temptation. She had a brother whom she wasn't very close to and a sister who had gotten pregnant at sixteen. That sister had been kicked out of her parents house. It was a family more dramatic than his own. By 1:30 that afternoon, they were now eating pizza and curled up in each others arms and still talking.

"My parents refuse to even visit NYU," Carol said, "I moved all my stuff here myself. I'm not going back."

"Don't."

"Oh, look who's up," Carol said, pointing to Chandler.

"Good afternoon, sunshine," Ross grinned.

"What time is it?" Chandler asked.

"One thirty," Ross said.

"Oh...ow, I'll be right back," Chandler said as he slowly got up and noticed Lizzie, asleep. He gently shook her awake.

"Hey," Lizzie said.

"It's one thirty," Chandler said.

"Seriously?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, crap," Lizzie said, getting up. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Hungover, but fine," Chandler said.

"He's always hungover. It's how he goes through life," Ross said.

"Go away," Chandler said.

"Hey, Carol," Lizzie said.

"Hey, Liz," Carol said.

"How do you two know each other?" Ross asked. Lizzie gave him a strange look and he immediately regretted the question.

"Carol is friends with my roommate, Susan," Lizzie said. "Alright, I really have to go, Chandler. I have finals to study for and I will see you at six when we rehearse for our gig at the Asian Student Union," Lizzie said.

"That's gonna rock," Chandler smiled.

"I wanna go. I wanna be your groupie," Carol said.

"We need those," Ross said, smiling.

"Alright, I have to. I will see you tonight," Lizzie said.

"Yes, you will," Chandler said as they shared a kiss and got up as Lizzie walked out of the common room.

"She's very sweet," Carol said.

"She is. She's fantastic and she plays bass really well. I'm gonna marry her one day," Chandler said.

"Hey...we're ready to go," Monica said walking into the common room with Rachel by her side. Ross was almost shocked to see them. He kinda felt bad that they had come all this way and he had not spoken with them at all. He was surprised to see that they were still there.

"Oh, okay...alright...I guess I'll walk with you to the train," Ross said.

"No, wait...I can take you back in Sally," Chandler said.

"You would drive 'em back? It's a far drive," Ross said. He was a little surprised by the offer. It was far but sometimes Chandler surprised him.

"It's fine...I don't mind. It'll give you two a chance to chat," Chandler said. "And besides I owe you for Thanksgiving."

"Alright, thanks man," Ross said.

"Let me get ready," Chandler said walking into his room to get ready for the long drive to Long Island. Rachel and Monica walked towards the couch that Chandler and Lizzie had been on and sat side by side, watching them.

"Oh, well that's nice of him," Ross said. "He has a very nice car."

"He probably bought it with drug money," Rachel said.

"You can't lay off him for a minute, can you?" Monica asked.

"What? You know he has like a pharmacy in his nightstand," Rachel said, looking at Ross.

"I do."

"By the way, I'm Carol."

"Yes, yes...Carol, that's my sister, Monica and that one over there is the Wicked Witch of the East."

"Fuck off, Geller. I'm Rachel."

"Hi and Ross, you know how Lizzie and I know each other. She introduced us," Carol said.

"I know, dumb question," Ross said.

"Not good paleontology digging," Carol said.

"No, it wasn't. Did you girls like the party? Sorry we didn't talk or anything," Ross said.

"It's okay. We got super drunk," Monica said.

"I'm a proud big brother," Ross said.

"Off beer, not red wine." Monica said.

"Mon and her friends like red wine because they feel that makes them classy," Ross said.

"I like red wine," Carol said.

"It's so good," Monica said.

"But I should clarify that when I say Mon and her friends, I don't mean Rachel because in public, Rachel is not our friend," Ross teased. He looked over at Monica who was trying not to smile and Rachel who was glaring at him.

"What's your deal, Geller?" Rachel asked. "By the way, I would check to make sure your roommate isn't getting drunk and high before he drives us home."

"Oh, I don't think he'd do that. He likes his car too much," Ross teased. Monica and Carol both started laughing which seemed to make Rachel more upset.

"Why are you laughing?" Rachel asked looking at Monica.

"'Cause you're a mean person," Monica said.

"No, I'm not. I'm really not," Rachel said.

"I believe you," Carol said.

"You do?" Rachel asked.

"Sure, why not?" Carol asked. Ross and Monica laughed more as Rachel looked uncomfortable and upset. Soon, Chandler emerged from his room to take Monica and Rachel back to Long Island. He said goodbye to both and both promised to call when they got back home. Once Ross and Carol were alone again, they continued to talk until he needed to get ready. After all, there was studying to do before the rehearsal and show that night.

He was getting dressed for Asian Student Union show when the phone rang, he grabbed it and was stunned to hear Rachel's voice on the other end. She rarely called him.

"Your roommate is funny," Rachel said, reluctantly as soon as Ross said hello. "He made me laugh a lot."

"He's good for that."

"That makes it really hard for me to hate me."

"I understand. Why do you hate him?"

"Do I need a reason?" Rachel asked.

"It usually helps."

"I just do. He's a self entitled prick who thinks really only of himself."

"Rachel, he drove almost an hour and a half, both ways, to take you and my sister home. That's two hours of driving he didn't need to do."

"I know."

"Okay. Well, maybe he's not that bad."

"Well, he only did it 'cause his car is fun to drive," Rachel tried. Ross rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I gotta go, Rach."

"Carol seems nice."

"She is. I really have to go. We have rehearsal and then the show."

"Okay, good luck tonight."

"Thanks."

Ross hung up and let out a sigh. He really was so confused by Rachel. Sometimes he thought that maybe she liked him. Maybe he might have a shot but then there were other times when he wasn't sure. His thoughts were interrupted by knocking. Ross walked to the door and opened it to Lizzie and Carol.

"Ready to rock?" Lizzie asked, doing her best air guitar.

"Very much," Ross yelled. "Bing's in the bathroom."

"Okay, by the way….you know Carol and I know each other. I introduced you. Why did you ask how we know each other?" Lizzie asked.

"Because sometimes I'm stupid," Ross said.

"I forgive you. You are a rock star," Carol said.

"I know and Liz, why did you come last night? I thought you were gonna study and not come to the party?" Ross asked.

"Because...because as I sat there studying, I got worried that he was going to drink too much and no one would be there to take care of him and then….so I had to come and make sure he didn't die in a pool of his own vomit," Lizzie said.

"You're such a good girlfriend," Ross said.

"I'm a fucking saint," Lizzie said. "I want a goddamned medal and a crown."

"I think she's too good for him. I tell her that all the time," Carol said.

"No, no...he's….I don't know. I wanna rock," Lizzie said.

"Hey, let's go rock stars," Chandler walked out of the bathroom and towards Ross where they did the handshake they had been perfecting. They called it the, "lame cool guy" handshake which was really just doing a weird handshake thing where their fingers touched. They had spent hours perfecting it. Once they did the handshake, Chandler walked towards their minifridge and grabbed a beer. The three looked at him.

"Seriously? Now?" Ross asked.

"I'm singing. I gotta calm my nerves," Chandler said.

"You know, Carol says I'm too good for you," Lizzie said.

"She's right," Chandler said.

"Alright, let's go," Ross said as he grabbed his keytar off the bed and the quartet walked out the door towards the Asian Student Union. It would be a great show, it would have to be. He was now officially a musician. A musician who wrote comic books, yeah, he definitely had it made. College was going to rock.


	9. Chapter 9

Spring 1988

He was in Cabo on Spring Break. He had heard Chandler talking about it with Kip and ended up inviting himself. It became a group with Kip, Gandalf, Carol, Lizzie, Jonathan and Sam. He was happy that Jonathan and Sam were with him because when he needed a break from Chandler, Kip, and Gandalf, he could hang out with his real friends. He was also starting to get closer to Carol. He liked being with her, liked hanging out with her. It took his mind off Rachel. He now knew Monica would be most likely be attending a culinary school in the city and Rachel would be staying Long Island. He knew it would be official, Rachel would no longer be in their lives. It made him sad and he was thankful to be lying on the beach in Cabo.

"Dude...are you planning on actually walking on the surface of the sun?" Chandler asked as he took off his headphones. Ross was applying a layer of sunscreen on himself. It was a heavy layer, a high SPF.

"I burn easily," Ross said.

"What's the SPF is that?" Chandler asked, picking up the tube of sunscreen from Ross' chair and looked at it. "Hmmm, I didn't even know they made SPF 1000."

"Yeah, I had to specially order that," Ross said, quite proud of himself.

"You make me sad," Chandler said.

"And when I'm still pasty and white while you're all red and burnt, I'll sit back and laugh," Ross said.

"That'll show me," Chandler grinned.

"So Ross...your sister is graduating high school? Is she going to NYU?" Lizzie asked.

"No, she's going to culinary school. Rachel's not going to NYU either," Ross said, sounding sad.

"You have a girlfriend," Chandler said.

"Yeah...but...Rachel. She's beautiful. Perfect. I had a dream I married her," Ross said, although he was doubting that was true. To be honest, he was now just saying stuff like that because he knew it pissed off Chandler.

"Huh, fat chance of that happening. The day you marry Rachel, I'll marry your sister," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"It was a joke...like he's not going to marry Rachel and I'm not going to marry his sister because I will marry you, Liz...it was a joke," Chandler said.

"And not one of your better ones," Ross muttered to which Chandler let out a snort. Ross lay back down on a chair and grabbed the book he was reading when Kip ran over to them.

"Alright, alright...I got my roommate for next year," Kip said.

"That's what you're looking for on Spring Break?" Chandler asked.

"No, but okay...you know Gandalf? Well, okay...he just got us all hook ups to this bikini Hawaiian Tropic contest going on. Booze and hot chicks in bikinis," Kip said.

"Well, that's my idea of a perfect weekend," Lizzie mused.

"That sounds amazing. But do you girls wanna go?" Chandler asked, looking over at Lizzie.

"Carol wants to go. She was super excited about it," Kip said.

"Really?" Ross asked. He always thought that was cool of Carol, how she wasn't one of those types of girls that got jealous easily.

"Yeah. Liz, you gotta come," Kip said.

"Alright, fine...I'll come. On one condition, Chandler, the minute you get a hard on, we're leaving and having sex," Lizzie said.

"That's perfectly okay with me," Chandler grinned.

"I'll let Gandalf know," Kip said, running off, leaving Ross, Chandler and Lizzie to ponder about this bikini contest.

"Carol's odd," Lizzie said.

"Why do you say that?" Ross asked.

"I think she's lesbian, Ross," Lizzie said.

"No, she's not...she's just curious about the female form," Ross said, thinking that was an odd statement for her to make. She was the one that wanted him to be with Carol and now she thought Carol was a lesbian? He made a mental note to ask about it later because his mind went to another thing. Another topic. He hadn't brought up the roommate thing yet, but Chandler was not going to be Kip's roommate? He had wanted to be Chandler's roommate but hearing that Chandler still wanted to be his was shocking.

"Yeah...it's just...you're probably right," Lizzie said.

"I am...wait, Chandler...Kip's not gonna be your roommate next year?"

"No...you are."

"Really?"

"Yeah...why does that shock you?" Chandler asked.

"Well, after you took a bat to my humidifier last week, I thought that would be the end of it," Ross said, partly joking.

"You took a bat to his humidifier?" Lizzie asked.

"Yep...and if you bring another one next year, I'll be bringing a bigger bat," Chandler said.

"Duly noted," Ross said, smiling a little.

"You really are shocked about that...about me wanting to be your roommate?" Chandler asked.

"Well, no...I thought you hated me," Ross said.

"I did...but after Thanksgiving, you've sort of started to grow on me," Chandler said as he put his headphones on and continued to read. Ross continued to read as well until they were summoned for the Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest. It was there though that he kept watching Carol and thinking about what Lizzie had told him.

"Do you really think she's a lesbian?" Ross asked as he stood with Lizzie watching the show. Chandler was drinking with Gandalf and Kip and Carol had walked towards one of the many outdoor bars to get a drink.

"No, no….it was-"

"You're the one who set me up."

"I know, I know it's just….okay, a couple weeks ago, Susan and I and Carol and her roommate, Jessica were all hanging out and we were drinking wine coolers and stuff and Carol and Susan kissed."

"Oh my G-d, it's like what happens in my imagination," Ross mused.

"I'm sure it was just….the wine coolers, but they really got into it."

"You think she's a lesbian?"

"I might be wrong."

"I like this girl."

"I know. I'm sorry. Seriously, I'm completely wrong," Lizzie said.

"If you turn out to be right, I'm gonna...I'm-I'm-I am gonna dump you in a vat of Hawaiian Tropic."

"Deal. But, by the way, thank you for agreeing to be Chandler's roommate again. You're a good influence and I really don't want Kip or Gandalf to be his roommates."

"Me neither. Besides, he's a good guy," Ross said as Chandler stumbled towards them, placing his arm around Lizzie.

"Okay, Lizzie….you are so much hotter than those Hawaiian Tropic Girls. Ross, isn't she like so much hotter," Chandler said.

"Well, Ross once said I looked like his sister so probably not," Lizzie said.

"Oh, but Ross' sister is ho-ot. Ot. Ot….ho-ot," Chandler said.

"You know, Chandler….do you like my sister?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, I think you have a crush on his sister," Lizzie said.

"No. No, I do not. I like you," Chandler said.

"You're gonna marry his sister," Lizzie teased.

"No, I'm marrying you. You wanna marry me?" Chandler asked.

"Not right now. Not particularly," Lizzie said.

"Okay, that'll work. I wanna go objective women, come with me," Chandler said, pulling Lizzie away from Ross as Carol approached them with two coconuts filled with booze. She handed one to Ross. The two clicked their coconuts together and drank.

"How wasted is he?" Carol asked.

"I'm not sure he's going to even remember this trip when it's done."

"She's too good for him."

"Yeah, Carol….can I ask you something? Lizzie mentioned something about a game….and wine coolers….and you and her roommate….did you…..well-"

"Kiss?" Carol asked.

"Yes."

"Well, yeah….but it meant nothing, Ross. I'm not a lesbian. I was experimenting. I really wish she hadn't said anything," Carol said.

"Okay….but it meant nothing?"

"Nothing, Ross. I mean, look….okay, I came from a really small town and I just….wanna play. You've never experimented? You never wanted to kiss Chandler?"

"Kiss or kill? Kill, yes. Kiss, no," Ross said.

"It meant nothing."

"Okay," Ross said, he would take her word for it. He couldn't do anything other than just take her word for it. Carol did enjoy the show but so did everyone, even Lizzie got into it. Maybe he was overreacting, putting too much weight on what Lizzie was saying. After all, Lizzie had issues of her own.

The next day, Gandalf had invited the group of about twenty to join him on his yacht which he had stocked with booze and food. They would take the yacht back up towards New York. Ross had never done anything quite like that and felt that maybe it would be fun. From the beginning though, it seemed that all they would be doing would be drinking. Gandalf walked over to Carol, Ross, Kip, Chandler and Lizzie with a giant tray of shots. Everyone but Ross grabbed one, he really wasn't in the mood and this scene reminded him of the Pimp Keymaster guy in his comic books. He looked over at Sam and Jonathan who were playing ping pong at a table that had been set up.

"Ross, what's wrong with you?" Gandalf asked.

"I'm not twenty one. It's illegal for me to drink. It's illegal for any of us to drink. We can get in a lot of trouble," Ross said, realizing how dumb he sounded. He didn't mean to sound like tool, but he was annoyed. Why did they have to drink that much?

"Are you for real?" Gandalf asked.

"I'm telling you, he's a fruitcake," Kip said.

"I am not...I'm Jewish," Ross said, trying to make joke.

"What?" Kip asked.

"I...I don't like fruitcake...I'm Jewish..." Ross looked at Chandler who just let out a snort and patted him on the back.

"He was making a joke. Fruitcakes...not typically a Jewish food. He's Jewish, not a fruitcake. Don't you get intellectual humor? G-d, for a wizard, you sure are stupid," Chandler said.

"Hey, now. Drink up, funny boy," Gandalf said.

Chandler grinned as he looked over at Ross who simply mouthed, "thank you" to him. Chandler smiled and nodded.

"Alright...Ross...let's do this. Mom and dad aren't here. We're not driving. It's easy, just chug it back," Chandler said.

"Fine, I will...fine. I'm breaking the law," Ross said.

Chandler laughed as the group downed their shots. Chandler looked over at Ross as he started hacking. Gandalf and Kip immediately left to go get more shots and were soon joined by several very attractive girls who had been in the competition earlier that day, which left Carol, Ross, Chandler and Lizzie sitting on the couch.

"You alright there, Sparky?" Chandler asked.

"I'm fine," Ross said.

"He's not much of a drinker," Carol said.

"That's good. Neither am I. I hate that Chandler is," Lizzie said.

"I drink 'cause it's fun. Some kids grow up around toys and games...I grew up around booze and drugs," Chandler said.

"That's sad," Ross said.

"It was it is," Chandler said.

Gandalf and Kip walked back to the table carrying more shots which they immediately passed around.

"More...more and Bing, we got beer pong set up on deck. You on?" Gandolf asked.

"Oh, you better believe it," Chandler grinned as he took another shot. Ross rolled his eyes and got up to join Jonathan and Sam at the ping pong table. They stopped playing when he approached them.

"You done playing with the popular kids?" Sam asked, joking.

"Yeah, this whole thing is ridiculous. Why is this fun?" Ross asked.

"Gandalf is the Keymaster," Jonathan mused.

"No, it's Pimp. Gandalf is a douche." Ross said as he watched his friends continue to play ping pong until Gandalf informed them that the table was going to now be a beer pong table. Ross stepped back as the game began and Chandler seemed to be the king of Beer Pong. Chandler beat everyone. He would get drunker and drunker. After Ross tried to beat him and lost, he stepped back and noticed Lizzie had vanished. He looked around and slowly walked up towards the back the boat and saw her sitting alone, staring out into the darkened sea with her arms around her knees. She looked like she had been crying.

"Hey, you alright?" Ross asked.

"You told Carol."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. It's not why I'm upset."

"Why are you upset?"

"I don't know. I was…..I was so excited to be in New York, to live here and I've been here now for seven months and in the past seven months, all I've done is clean up after Chandler. I haven't done anything I've wanted to do and I feel like I'm losing myself. I don't know….I'm glad you're gonna stay his roommate," Lizzie said as she wiped the tears away from her face.

"Hey, you okay?" Carol asked as she approached them. She sat next to Lizzie and put her arm around her, gently hugging her.

"Yeah. Just….thinking," Lizzie said. "I'm sorry I told Ross about the wine cooler incident."

"It's alright."

"Why are you still with him?" Ross asked. "Chandler. I mean, he is my friend but if he's making you this upset-"

"Yeah, I can set you up with someone. I know people," Carol said.

"No, no…..I wanna stick with him….I just have to find myself," Lizzie said. "I'm gonna go find him."

Lizzie got up and disappeared down to another level of the boat where beer pong was going and Chandler was winning one game after the other. Ross and Carol were left alone as they sat there listening to the sounds of partying downstairs.

"So you're not a party guy?"

"Not really and not too much of a drinker. I don't know, it never interested me. I'd rather get to know someone."

"Everything I did was so strict growing up. We had rules and what we could and couldn't do. I remember telling my parents I wanted to go to NYU. I wanted to go to New York. They were pissed. I'm not going back. I wanna experience everything. I want to live and be free. I just-"

Ross was barely listening. He kept watching her and as she talked, he decided to make a move. He leaned in and suddenly kissed her. He had never done that never kissed a girl and to his surprise, she kissed back. It felt nice, felt worth it. He would have to tell Chandler….and of course, Jonathan and Sam.

He told Jonathan and Sam first and would have told Chandler but from the moment Chandler woke up to the minute he passed out, he was drinking. It almost frightened Ross just how drunk Chandler was between the pill popping and the constant drinking, it scared him. This just wasn't Ross' world. He did not see the point of this or understand why it was fun. He did try to let loose. He drank but never to the point of being unable to function and it wasn't something he could see as being fun.

It was the ending of the trip and Ross was having a dream that someone was licking him, when he heard Chandler's voice telling something to go away. Ross groaned as he sat up and Chandler sat next to him. They were surrounded by passed out people.

"Got a new girlfriend?" Chandler asked.

"What? I felt something licking me...what was that?" Ross asked.

"A dog," Chandler.

"What?"

"A seal."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

Ross let out an annoyed sigh as Chandler sat next to him.

"I can't do this, Chandler. I can't party like you. I mean, this whole week...I don't know how you do it, man."

"You want Vicodin?"

"No."

"It cures hangovers."

"I don't care. So...what are you doing this summer?"

"Be home. Relax. My mom will probably have parties."

"Doesn't this get old?" Ross asked.

"No...it's more fun to do this. To live like this...when you drink, you don't have to deal. Ross, what was the worse thing that's ever happened to you?"

"I was mugged when I was fourteen. Some like six foot tall...thug. Scary dude. He had a machete. He was burly too," Ross said, of course not revealing the truth.

"Hmmmm...I had one of my mom's boyfriends feel me up once. Every time he'd spank me, he'd get a hard on. Then one day he actually decided to well...assault me. I never told anyone...except Liz. Where I grew up, Ross...it was different from where you grew up."

"We all have crap, you know," Ross said although he felt like that was the worst thing for him to say. Lizzie had been right, Chandler really hadn't been given a chance. That was the story Lizzie had started to tell him after Thanksgiving but didn't. How many times had this guy been assaulted in his life?

"I know."

"I'm sorry you've gone through all that shit. That's...you never told your mom?"

"I think she knew...somehow. I grew up in a house where I wasn't really allowed to be a kid. I never got that opportunity. The first kids party I ever went to. I was like nine, ten years old and my nanny took me to a New Years party. I was so nervous and there was this really nice girl there. I never got to have a kids birthday party. I mean...I grew up really fast...I was really lonely a lot of the time. I had no friends. Not 'till I went to boarding school," Chandler said.

I didn't have a lot of friends growing up either," Ross said.

"Not even Rachel?" Chandler asked, grinning. Ross let out a snort.

"You hate her, don't you?"

"She's a horrible human being. I knew her at camp and she was evil and...can I tell you a secret?"

"What?" Ross asked.

"I uh...saw her once at a game...at Lincoln High...my buddies and I went to see her and um...well, then she was such a bitch that I covered her car with peanut butter."

"Oh, my G-d...that was you?" Ross asked, his eyes widening. He remembered that game so vividly. He remembered the day.

"Yep."

"I'm the guy who told you what car it was," Ross said.

"What?"

"I remember that game and I always felt so bad because I remembered this guy coming up to Monica and I and asking where Rachel's car was."

"Thanks for letting me know," Chandler said.

"Unbelievable...hey, what does coyote mean?" Ross asked.

"In camp, I told Rachel that she reminded me of Wylie Coyote. The best part of the cartoon is when the coyote runs off a cliff and I was waiting for her to run off a cliff."

That was bizarre. Rachel's reaction also struck him. He remembered that. She was in hysterics. He remembered the rumors and Chandler's prank, unbeknownst to Chandler, may have happened soon after she had the rumored abortion. He couldn't say anything though. Nothing had ever been confirmed.

"Oh...she was really upset about that. She was crying and everything...I tried to comfort her but she called me an idiot. Why were you there anyway?"

"We heard a rumor she was a hermaphrodite."

Ross looked at Chandler. He shook his head and let out a laugh. Was he joking?

"Oh my G-d...I can't believe the rumor was that widespread."

"What?"

"My buddy Will and I made that up."

"She's not a hermaphrodite?"

"No."

"Hmmmm, no wonder she punched my buddy Tyler in the face," Chandler mused. "Hope you're not mad, though."

"No...just go easy on those pills, alright? And the booze," Ross said. Chandler let out an annoyed sigh.

"Dude, why do you care that much? I mean...I've been a big jerk to you. I destroyed your humidifier."

"I know...I don't know. I feel for you. You seem like the kinda guy who just needs someone to give him a break."

"Thanks," Chandler said, "so how are things with Carol?"

"Good...I think next year, I'm gonna change the rules about having girls sleep in our room. I think Lizzie and Carol would liven up the space," Ross said.

"I agree...thanks for putting up with me, by the way."

"Same here."

"I'm really not a bad guy, though. I'm not. I just….I like this. Being around people. Drinking. Making sure I disappear. Sometimes I think, I could just jump in the water and swim and no one would ever miss me," Chandler said.

"I'd miss you. Lizzie would. You gotta treat her better, man. I mean, really."

"I know I do."

"I kissed Carol," Ross said.

"Nice…..can I ask you something about the not having the girls sleep in our room rule, was that to protect Liz?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah. She needs a break. I don't know. I've never dealt with this. ="

"I don't have a problem. I don't how else I'm supposed to make that clear, I don't have a problem."

"You've been drunk the entire trip," Ross said.

"It's Spring Break."

"Fine. I'm done arguing but….I'm not giving up on you, Bing. I think you've had a lot of people give up on you or leave. I'm not going to be that person. I'm making that promise."

"I'd give up on me."

"I know. But you have a friend. I'm it. A real friend. I may not have had a lot of friends in high school, but I didn't care because the ones I had are still there and also 'cause here's something you may have already figured out about the Geller's. We don't give up on people we care about."

"Thank you," Chandler said as soon they were joined by Carol and Lizzie. The two couples talked for a bit before heading off in search of breakfast and calling an end to this spring break of 1988.


	10. Chapter 10

**May 1988-October 1988**

His first year of college was winding down and with finals around the corner, he wanted to come home and study. He figured that way he could avoid having to take care of Chandler who never seemed to study yet did very well. It was yet another thing that shocked him about Chandler. Chandler constantly got A's and B's, but he had yet to see his roommate crack open a book. He once teased Chandler that he must be cheating or paying someone, but Chandler was adamant that wasn't the case. Ross asked him once how he did it and Chandler merely shrugged and responded with, "I don't know. I just listen in class." Which, of course, annoyed Ross even more. He was studying or at the current moment, laying on Monica's bed as she was getting ready for prom and complaining about Chandler.

"He's probably drunk right now and it doesn't matter because he'll just walk into a final and ace it. I listen in class, I take notes…..he writes two lines on a piece of paper, goes out all night and can still ace a test while hungover. I just-"

"If you hate him so much, why are you gonna room with him next year?" Monica asked, interrupting him. Ross let out a sigh. He did question that but after Spring Break, he couldn't. He could not say no.

"He asked...during Spring Break, he asked. Well, he didn't ask but he said we were gonna be roommates."

"You could've said no."

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I just...I thought about it too but...even his girlfriend was telling me that I couldn't say no. She said I was a good influence on him. Not sure how much I buy that."

"His girlfriend sounds like an enabler."

"I think she just wants to save him. I think we all just want to save him. I feel bad for him," Ross said, although he really did not want to go into too much more. There was so much his sister didn't get. Monica was still pretty innocent about the way the world worked, he felt. He didn't want to tell Monica about the things Chandler had told him. He didn't want to tell her about how Lizzie was trying everything in her power to save someone who really did not want to save himself as he was still believing there was no problem. He had felt bad about leaving Lizzie alone with him but after the incident where he drove Kip, Chandler and Gandalf around all night from party to party as he stayed in the car and studied, he needed a break besides maybe it would be kinda nice to see Monica and Rachel off the prom.

When Rachel arrived at the Geller home, Ross opened the door. She was in a blue satin dress with big puffy sleeves. She looked beautiful, as always and she stood there grinning at him.

"Hey there, Mister Kotter," Rachel said as she reach up to mess up his very frizzy hair.

"Come on in," Ross said as he stepped out of the way to let her in. He closed the door behind her as she kept looking at him.

"What is with the lip hair? It looks like you're being attacked by an angry caterpillar," Rachel said.

"I like it. It makes me look distinguished," Ross said, smiling.

"Sure. So how's your roommate?" Rachel asked.

"Drunk, probably. We're going to to be roommates next year."

"Why?"

"'Cause he enjoys my lip hair."

"That sounds weird," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I heard it in my head. You-you look nice though, pretty."

"Thanks….it's a Rachel Karen Green design with a label from Armani."

"You made that?" Ross asked.

"Yeah."

"It's pretty. I don't understand the Armani thing, but it's still pretty," Ross said, but he did find it sad that he did get it. Her dress was gorgeous and he wanted to tell her that. He wanted to tell her that she should own up to her talents, that she was a fashion designer. She shouldn't give credit to Armani whatever? He wasn't sure if Armani was a first name, last name or even a name, but he wanted to yell and scream and tell her to knock it off but instead, he said nothing. It just made him sad.

"Thanks."

Rachel smiled as Ross looked at the floor, wanting to say something else but he wasn't sure what to say. He always felt nervous around her. He knew it was silly. He had a girlfriend. Carol was now his girlfriend and they got along great but it was as if Rachel was some sort of magnet and every time he was near her, he was drawn to her. He could have said more when Monica grabbed Rachel by the hand and the two were followed by Jack Geller who seemed intent on filming everything Monica and Rachel were doing.

"It was very nice of you to see your sister off to prom," Judy said, appearing next to him, giving him a knowing grin. Ross let out a snort.

"I'm a good big brother."

"Awww, Rachel looks pretty. Gorgeous dress," Judy said as Monica and Rachel walked off towards the kitchen, presumably to have one of their pantry discussions and probably to get away from Jack.

"She made that dress. She made her own dress and put an Armani label in there. I don't get that. I-we will probably never speak to her after Mon and her graduate."

"I don't think so."

"How do you know?" Ross asked.

"I know my children. You and Monica both seem to have this strange need to hold on to people who you feel might need to be fixed or saved….even if they aren't aware of it. You both clearly got that from your father," Judy said which made Ross laugh a little.

"What?" Ross asked.

"I will never understand why Monica keeps wanting to be friends with Rachel after all the hurtful things Rachel has done to her. I will never understand why you want to be friends with someone like that roommate of yours. Both he and Rachel seem like complete messes…..I told your father that and he told me I didn't understand. I don't."

"Wait..you realize Rachel has treated Monica like crap?" Ross asked.

"Of course. It kills me."

"You know, sometimes it's okay to tell Monica these things…..like how you don't like how Rachel treats her," Ross said.

"Why?" Judy asked.

"Never mind."

"It doesn't matter. She's still going to remain Rachel's friend," Judy said. "I also think your roommate has some severe problems that you don't have the abilities to fix."

"Yeah, you're right. It doesn't matter what you say," Ross said. Judy just shook her head as there was a knock at the door. Judy opened it and Roy was standing there, waiting to take Monica to prom. Judy walked off towards the kitchen while Ross stood with Monica's date. He didn't know Roy very well. He knew that some kids called him Donkey Lips but that was about it. He stood awkwardly with him until Monica and Rachel came by and Rachel began to get upset almost immediately. Chip was not there. It was late and Rachel was worried about not having a date. He wasn't entirely sure but there was drama as Rachel, Monica and Roy walked off towards the living room while he remained with his parents.

"I have an idea," Jack said from behind the camera as he stabbed the air with his finger. Ross walked towards the steps and sat as Judy sat next to him.

"What, dad?"

"Take Rachel to prom," Jack said.

"No," Ross said.

"It's genius. You could be her knight in shining armor," Jack said.

"It was bad enough that I had to go to my own prom," Ross grumbled, "and Rachel's not going to hang out with Monica and her friends. She's going to hang out with Mindy and Sharon and Nancy and I hate that I still remember their names."

"Oh, come on….actually, Jack….I think that's a brilliant idea," Judy said.

"If I have to spend an entire evening listening to Mindy, Nancy and Sharon, I may kill them….no, not may, I will….and Chandler really is expecting me to be his roommate next year," Ross said, "he will die if I'm not…..and I'm thinking literally," Ross said.

"Ross," Judy said. Ross let out a sigh as he looked over at Rachel who was in tears. His heart broke a little watching her. He would never understand it. He would never fully understand why she put an Armani label in the dress she designed or why she lied about her favorite movie or why all this was so important, but it was to her. It was very important. He could survive those girls Rachel hung out with. Maybe they wouldn't want to hang out with her if she was with him. Maybe he would get to see her how she truly was, he could get the real Rachel. The one he knew was underneath all that other crap.

"Alright, I'll do it. I'll take her to prom," Ross said as he stood up and walked upstairs towards his room. He grabbed a tux and quickly got dressed. He thought he looked quite handsome, quite manly. He could imagine dancing with Rachel, holding her, being near her. They had not danced since Monica's bat mitzvah and it would be everything if they could be that close again.

He walked out of his room and into the view of Jack's camera, filming him as he grabbed some flowers from a vase and walked towards the stairs when he heard giggling downstairs and Rachel, Chip, Roy and Monica were racing out the front door. Time froze in that moment. She was leaving. She was gone and he had a feeling that was not meant literally.

Ross returned to his dorm a few hours later, not really wanting to stay at home. He walked into a semi-shocking site. Chandler was at his desk, studying. Sure he was also drinking a beer while doing it, but he was studying. Lizzie was lying on Chandler's bed, studying as well.

"Are you actually studying?" Ross asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"Are you okay?" Ross asked.

"I'm fine….I study."

"I've never seen you do it."

"'Cause it's pointless. Honestly, as long as you listen in class, you're golden. I mean, the profs tell you everything that will be on the test. Listen to the professor and just don't forget what they say," Chandler said. "It's really that simple."

Ross opened his mouth to say something and looked over at Lizzie who was laughing as she shook her head.

"I've told him to not to say that to people because it pisses them off," Lizzie said. "Chandler, not everyone is like you. Not everyone can do that."

"Ehhh, sucks for them. Alright, study break. I'm getting another beer," Chandler said as he walked towards the mini fridge and grabbed a beer. Ross shook his head as he fell onto Chandler's bed, next to Lizzie.

"Why are you here by the way?" Lizzie asked. "I thought you were going to be gone all weekend?"

"Yeah, Lizzie was planning on peeing, 'bite me, Geller' all over your bed," Chandler said.

"No, no, that was all you," Lizzie said.

"Shhh," Chandler said as he sat back down at his desk, cracked open his beer and placed legs on his bed.

"No, just…..I saw Rachel. She designed her own dress. It was pretty, but she put an Armani label in it like she didn't want people knowing she can design clothes. I don't get her. She did make fun of my lip hair, though. She called me Mr. Kotter and said that it looked like I was being attacked by a very angry caterpillar," Ross said, looking at Chandler. Ross noticed Chandler grinning slightly at that and he looked like he was trying not to let out a laugh. "Do you find that funny, Bing?"

"No," Chandler said.

"Well, it is a funny comment," Lizzie said.

"Who's side are you on?" Chandler asked, "fine, it was mildly amusing."

"She's actually really funny," Ross said. "Honestly, she's about as funny as you."

"That's the most hurtful thing you've ever said to me," Chandler said.

"I did think she was funny at camp," Lizzie said.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Chandler asked. Lizzie and Ross both laughed at Chandler who was very determined in his hatred of Rachel. It really seemed like nothing would ever turn that around.

"Look, Geller, she is evil. Rachel. She's evil. She's a horrible person who is not funny and not pretty and-"

"She is pretty hot, actually," Lizzie said.

"Thank you," Ross said.

"Did you cheat on me? Because honestly, that would hurt less," Chandler said.

"She is not ugly," Lizzie said.

"She has a penis," Chandler said.

"So do you," Lizzie said.

"You know, she doesn't actually have a penis," Ross said.

"I don't care about the truth," Chandler said as Ross and Lizzie laughed at him and Chandler continued on his rant about all things Rachel Green. He did feel a bit bad laughing, but it was funny. Chandler was just not fond of anything having to do with Rachel and Chandler's rant actually made him feel better.

The next morning, he was woken up by the phone ringing. He let out a groan as he reached for the phone and grabbed it. He looked over at Chandler who moved his pillow over his face.

"Hello," Ross said.

"It's me," Rachel said.

"Rachel?" Ross asked.

"It's Rachel?" Chandler asked before screaming, "go to hell, Witch Butt!"

"Tell your roommate that he's an asshole," Rachel said.

"I'm not going to say that. Just a heads up for next year when you're in college, you probably want to wait until after 10 to call people."

"Oh….Chip and I broke up."

"That's not news."

"For good. Prom wasn't fun. He cheated on me and your sister got mad at me and…...Ross, promise me something?"

"What?"

"Don't stop being my friend?"

"I won't."

"Thanks. Okay, I'm gonna go. Sorry for waking you," Rachel said before hanging up. Ross hung up the phone and stared at the picture of Rachel on his board. He should get rid of that. Rachel was a memory now. Monica and Rachel would graduate and Rachel would move on.

Maybe he would focus on Monica because that summer, it seemed like he might need to. Something strange was happening with his sister. She was losing weight, rapidly. He would hear Judy and Monica arguing in her room.

"Leave me alone," Monica would yell.

"I just think….can you please rethink staying in the city for college," Judy said.

"No. I don't want to stay here with you and dad. I wanna go to college and live and why are you-"

"Because-"

"Leave me alone, I'm fine."

Ross watched from his room as Judy walked out of Monica's room and Monica shut the door behind her. Judy walked towards Geller parents bedroom and stopped. Ross couldn't tell but from the way his mom's shoulders shook, he wondered if his mom was crying.

"Mom?" Ross asked.

Judy seemed to straighten up immediately and turned towards Ross, letting out a sigh and smiling. She gently wiped tears away from her face, he could tell. His mom was crying. Ross walked towards her.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sweetie. I'm going to talk to your dad," Judy said as she walked into the bedroom, leaving Ross in the hall. He looked at Monica's closed bedroom door and walked over to it. He knocked and opened it as soon as Monica let him in.

"Hey, Mon."

"Hey. So, how's does it feel being back for the summer. I can't wait for next year. I'm gonna be a chef."

"Yeah, about that….where's Rachel?"

"I don't know. I haven't really talked to her much since graduation. How's Chandler?" Monica asked.

"Probably wasted somewhere."

"Beautiful."

"You know….you've been losing weight."

"I know, it's amazing. I'm just being disciplined. Mom's being crazy."

"But you've been losing weight like really fast….how are you doing it?" Ross asked.

"Discipline. Come on, not you too. Look, I'm fine. I just wanna start college fresh."

"That's good but how are you losing weight?" Ross asked.

"Diet and exercise."

"Monica."

"Diet and exercise. I'm fine. I know what I'm doing," Monica said, angrily. Ross nodded and stepped back. He walked out of Monica's room and towards the bathroom. He opened the bathroom door and realized the lock was gone. There had used to be a lock on the door. Just a little metal button thing on the doorknob. It was gone. He walked downstairs towards the guest bathroom and noticed the same thing. The bathroom locks were gone. This was not good.

Then he caught her. It was the middle of summer now and he had gone to Scoops with Will and Jonathan to discuss comic books and catch up with each other. It had been fun. He talked about Carol and Chandler and Lizzie and Will told them about Los Angeles. It was perfect. When he returned him, he heard sounds coming from the bathroom. Vomiting sounds. He opened the bathroom door and saw Monica leaning over the toilet, finger in her mouth and throwing up.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ross asked.

Monica jumped back and looked at Ross, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She stood up and flushed the toilet. She glared at him.

"Did you forget to knock?"

"Why did our parents take the locks off the bathroom doors?" Ross asked.

"They're crazy," Monica said as she walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. Ross followed her towards her room. Monica opened her door and slammed it shut. He reached down and noticed the lock on her door had been removed as well. He opened the door as Monica lay on her bed.

"Mon."

"I'm fine, Ross. I have under control."

"Like Chandler and his drinking."

"Do not compare me to him. He's fucked up."

"Monica, you are forcing yourself to throw up.'

"It's...I will stop when I get to my goal weight."

"No, no….I can't….Mon-"

"Look, Ross….I wanna….I spent four years as Rachel's fat secret friend and I got kicked out of fat camp and nothing I do works and I don't wanna go to college being….I wanna...I want to start over and I know what I'm doing. I have journals and notes and I'm keeping track. I'm not going too far. Please just…." Monica's eyes filled with tears as she pleaded with him. "I'm okay."

"But-"

"Please, Ross."

"Stop hurting yourself."

"Okay," Monica said. "I know what I'm doing."

Ross wasn't sure how much he believed her but he wasn't sure what else to say. He took a deep breath and looked at her, "you know, Will, Jonathan and I worked on a new comic book at Scoops today."

"Really?" Monica asked, smiling a little.

"The Adventures of Two Face and Science Boy. It begins in their lair-"

"They have a lair?"

"It's very nice because Two Face is an expert decorator. Anyway, they're in their lair and they get a distress call from The Comic."

"That's Chandler, right?"

"No, it's no one. You wanna know this story."

"I do."

"Okay, The Comic and The Chef-"

"That's me."

"Monica."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, The Comic and The Chef send out a distress call to Two Face and Science Boy. Someone has taken all the jokes in the world and turned them into horribly bland items of food and those bland items are actually filled with poison that put people into a deep sleep. Of course, The Comic and Two Face hate each other so you know the situation is dire if The Comic willingly calls Two Face and Science Boy….."

"Thank you, Ross," Monica said as Ross continued to tell her the latest adventure of Two Face and Science Boy. He wished he could do more. He wanted to do more but maybe it was like Chandler and his drinking? It's hard to help someone that won't admit that there is even a problem.

When they dropped Monica off at the loft she would be living in with some other girls who were also culinary students, Judy cried. Yes, Judy cried when they had dropped Ross off but this was different. He detected fear in his mother's eyes. He would have to make sure Monica took care of herself, that she was okay. Although, as school began it became difficult. Between school and Carol and everything else, there wasn't always time. He would try though. He would call, do lunches and she kept getting skinnier. He would watch her closely but wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do.


	11. Chapter 11

November 1988-December 1988

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, he was just happy to be going home. Carol had actually been talked into going back home for Thanksgiving and he would be traveling home with Chandler who had decided to join them. Chandler was driving them in Sally and Ross kept staring out at the road. He had a lot on his mind.

"Please don't drink at my parents house," Ross said, as their second year of college started, Chandler was drinking more.

"Dude...if I drink, you drive Sally. I know you love driving her," Chandler remarked.

"That's not why I hang out with you...or think you shouldn't drink."

"She's a fun car to drive, though," Chandler said.

"I'll give you that...G-d, I wonder what Rachel is like now."

"You have a girlfriend," Chandler said.

"I know...you think Rachel will want me more?" Ross asked which he doubted. He just enjoyed making those comments because they pissed off Chandler.

"Maybe. I really think you can do better than Coyote."

"You know, the coyote never dies. In the cartoon...Wylie Coyote never dies," Ross said.

"I don't want Rachel to die...just run off a cliff."

"Maybe one day you'll like her...and be friends with her," Ross said.

"I can't be friends with a girl like that."

Ross smiled as he turned up the radio, the sounds of George Michael soon filling the car as Chandler sped down the highway. He liked when he got to be the passenger in Chandler's car. He could enjoy the ride, the wind in his hair, the car was truly magnificent. When they reached home, Chandler pulled up in front Rachel and kept backing up until he was about a half an inch from Rachel's car, thus completely blocking her.

"You think you're close enough to Rachel's car? She's completely blocked in now," Ross said, getting out and noticing that there was was no space on either side of Rachel's car for her to get out.

"I just wanted to make sure I wasn't blocking your driveway," Chandler said.

"Let's go," Ross said, rolling his eyes. Sometimes Chandler's antagonism of Rachel was ridiculous. As far as he knew, there really was no reason for Chandler and Rachel to hate each other just that she had been mean to him a couple times, but Rachel had been mean for eighteen years. Chandler followed Ross up the driveway towards the Geller home. Ross knocked and within seconds Rachel opened the door. She let out a snort as she looked at Chandler and Ross.

"Hi, precious," Chandler said.

"Fuck you," Rachel said as she turned on her heel and walked off. Ross and Chandler exchanged a look as they walked into the house.

"Whoa," Ross said.

"Well, she remembers me," Chandler laughed.

"Ross, Chandler...hey," Monica said as she walked towards them. It angered him looking at Monica. Yes, she was thin but he refused to say she looked good. She needed to eat, she needed to take care of herself. Ross hugged her and leaned towards her ear.

"Stop," he whispered in her ear. She gave him a look.

"I'm not doing anything," Monica whispered back.

Ross let out a sigh and shook his head. He gave her a look, wanting to say so much more. He looked over at Chandler who seemed to be just staring at Monica. Ross wanted to smack him.

"Wow, Monica," Chandler said.

"Yeah, I lost two hundred and forty pounds, jackass."

"In a year?"Chandler asked.

"Yep."

"You lost two hundred and forty pounds in a year?" Chandler asked and Ross watched as the look on Chandler's face quickly changed from being gross to concern. He looked at Ross and then back at Monica. Ross could tell he was doing the math in his head and perhaps making a few connections that something was off.

"You look good...but I mean, I thought you looked good last year too," Chandler said.

"Liar," Monica said, "and don't worry, I'll make your mac and cheese."

Monica walked off just as Jack and Judy approached them. Ross hugged his parents and was looking at both of them, concerned.

"Two hundred and forty pounds?" Ross asked, whispering to them. He noticed Monica walking towards the kitchen. He looked back and noticed Chandler walking towards the bar.

"I really wish Chandler wouldn't drink in our house," Judy said.

"Does he have some sort of problem?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, but don't tell him that but what about Monica? I mean-"

"We're trying. She doesn't let us in. You know Harmonica, she likes to take control," Jack said. Ross let out another sigh. It was too much drama between Rachel and Chandler and Monica. He wished Carol was there. He wished he could talk to someone.

Approaching Rachel who was now standing by the staircase, maybe he could talk to her. Maybe she could say something about Monica's weight loss. Maybe they could have one their old pantry sessions with Twinkies. He walked towards her and began talking although it seemed pretty obvious Rachel was not listening. He mentioned Carol and then carefully tried to ask about Monica, but he was quickly sidetracked by screaming coming from the kitchen. Everyone ran into the kitchen to see a horrified looking Monica. He looked over at Chandler who now had a knife sticking out of his shoe.

Monica had accidentally cut off Chandler's toe and the ended up at the hospital. The doctors had prescribed him painkillers despite Ross telling the doctors not to, but the doctors didn't listen. He begged, he pleaded but was blown off and once they arrived back home, Chandler passed out in the guest bed and Monica, Ross, and Rachel retreated to the Corvette to talk. Rachel was in the driver's seat, Monica in the passenger seat and Ross in back. Monica was flipping out.

"This is all your fault," Monica said, looking at Rachel.

"I didn't tell you to cut off his toe," Rachel said.

"What were you trying to do?" Ross asked, confused. He really needed to know what was going on.

"Embarrass him," Monica said.

"'Cause he called Monica fat," Rachel said.

"When?" Ross asked.

"Last Thanksgiving, I overheard him talking to you and he called me fat and-and he was mean to you, Rachel."

"True, so you know what….it wasn't the entire toe and maybe this will knock him down a few notches," Rachel said.

"Rach," Monica said.

"Alright, I wanna drive the Corvette," Rachel said as she reached her hand towards Ross.

"I can't let you drive Sally," Ross said.

"He blocked me in, I can't even move my car. He owes me."

"I cut off his toe, I think we've done enough," Monica said.

"Give me the keys to his car, Ross. If you give me the keys, I'll flash you," Rachel said and immediately, Ross handed the keys to Rachel, which he regretted. He would never tell Chandler that he let Rachel drive his car. Chandler would kill him. Rachel started the car and began driving down the street.

"They gave him pain pills," Monica said.

"Yeah, they did," Ross said. Why wouldn't the doctors listen to him? He really wished they hadn't blown him off.

"Why were you so upset that they gave him pills?" Rachel asked.

"Because he's an addict that doesn't realize he's an addict. This is not going to end well. The man has a pharmacy in his drawer at school."

"Oh, G-d….he really is a loser."

"Rachel, you don't get it," Ross said.

"Well, hopefully he'll overdose, die and I'll get the car," Rachel said.

"Rachel," Monica said.

"Whatever, he'll be fine," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"I hope so," Monica said.

Rachel kept driving around and around and slowly Ross' opinion of Rachel was changing. He had always thought that once they were out of high school, she'd be nice again. She'd be her true self but maybe her true self was a bitchy girl. Maybe he had been wrong all along? She wasn't two faced, she was just simply a bitch.

It was a late Friday night. Chandler was sleeping in the guest room, Monica was in her room and he was on the phone with Carol telling her all the latest. He liked having Carol listen to him. Carol seemed to get him.

"They gave him pain pills?" Carol asked.

"I told them not to, they wouldn't listen."

"Lizzie is gonna be pissed."

"I haven't told her. I don't know if Chandler has. I said don't give him pills, the man is addict. Oh, no...you're just a college student. You don't know."

"Sounds like a fun time at the Gellers."

"I wish you were here."

"No, I needed to come home and listen to my parents tell me how I'm going to hell."

"Why are you going to hell?"

"You want a list? And you know, I have no one to blame but myself. I said I would never come back to Texas but I was guilted into it and…."

"Did you tell them about the Wine Cooler Incident, because that would make them love you," Ross teased.

"Or kill me in my sleep. They need to stop."

Ross let out a chuckle as Carol continued to complain about her family. As she complained, he heard loud noises outside. He heard a car screech to a stop and loud voices.

"Carol, can you hold on a sec?" Ross asked as he set the phone down and got up. He walked towards the door and opened it. The images that unfolded infront of him seemed like something out of a movie. There was a guy in a car, Rachel and a group of people cracking up as they were slashing the tires of Chandler's car and pouring bottles of pills and booze in the car. He felt invisible, frozen to his spot. Was she actually doing what he thought she was doing? Was she truly this heartless? He wanted to say something but he could not find his voice. Rachel and her friends got into the car with the guy and it was then when Rachel's eyes locked with Ross'. They were staring at each other when the guy drove off. Ross stepped out and began examining Sally. Sally's tires were slashed. He could almost smell the booze coming off the car. Rachel had purposely vandalized the car. This was taking it too far. Something broke at that moment and for the first time his feelings of love for Rachel were turning. He walked back into the house and picked up the phone.

"I think Rachel and I just broke up," Ross mused.

"What?" Carol asked.

"I just walked outside and caught Rachel and her friends slashing Sally's tires and pouring pills and booze all over the car."

"Are you joking? What the hell did Sally ever do to her?"

"I know. Maybe I was wrong. I always thought that it was all an act. That she really wasn't awful, maybe she is. Maybe tonight, I saw the real Rachel Green."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're not hiding anything are you?" Ross asked.

"No. But can you take the picture of her down now?"

"I can. I have to fix Sally before Chandler finds out. I mean, if he finds out, he will finally have a reason to hate her."

"I know."

Ross let out a sigh, he felt sad. He felt very sad. He wasn't sure if he should say anything to Rachel. He really had no desire to speak to her. Instead, the next morning, he woke up and explained to his parents what had happened. He told them that he needed to get the car fixed, that it would push Chandler over the edge if he saw Sally destroyed. His parents, feeling bad about Chandler's toe, reluctantly agreed to let him put the costs of fixing Sally on a credit card. He got the car towed and fixed the tires and got the car washed and cleaned. The total cost was twenty-six hundred dollars. He was tempted to send Rachel the bill. Chandler though didn't ask questions and when Ross drove himself, Chandler, and Monica back to the city, Chandler said nothing. There was an uncomfortable silence in that car ride. No one really spoke to each other and there was a moment of feeling that things were about to get a lot of worse before they got better.

And he was right. It got worse and worse. Chandler was getting rail thin and he kept drinking and drinking. His pill use increased and Lizzie would not leave their room. She was constantly at his bedside and it was actually starting to annoy Ross. After one night, right before finals, she kept snapping at him. Chandler was passed out and Lizzie was taking care of him.

"Lizzie, go home," Ross said.

"Don't tell me to go home. Why did they give him drugs?"

"I don't know."

"He's dying."

"I know, what would you like me to do."

"Why did you cut off his toe?" Lizzie asked.

"I didn't do that, Monica did. Go home. When was the last time you slept?"

"I'm not tired."

"You're coddling him, you know that right?"

"I am not coddling him….I'm trying to keep him alive."

"You're not doing a good job."

"Fuck you, Geller," Lizzie said. "I don't know how to do this."

Lizzie began crying as Ross got up and walked over to her. He put an arm around around her and began comforting him.

"I wanna cut off his other toe," Lizzie muttered.

"Really?"

"I don't know."

"I'm losing it. I'm really close to losing it. He's lost so much weight and-"

"Go back to your room. Go to sleep. He's here."

"Okay. Why is he forcing us to watch him die?" Lizzie asked.

"I don't know."

Lizzie let out a sigh as Ross looked over at Chandler who was snoring. He wanted to fix this. He wanted to fix everyone. He was getting tired as well. By the end of first semester, he, Lizzie, and Monica had made a decision, they would spend winter break with Chandler. They knew Chandler would most likely spend his break alone so they thought they would spend it with him, at his house. Monica had called Rachel to tell her about it but apparently that did not go well. Monica called Ross immediately after the conversation and said that Rachel had been mean and told Monica she was going to Vail. This pissed him off. Rachel was really acting like a jerk and it was getting to be too much for him. After hanging up with Monica, he called Rachel.

"Hello?" Rachel asked.

"It's Ross. You're not coming to help Chandler?"

"He's not my friend. He's your friend."

What was wrong with her? He was really starting to dislike her and he hated that he was disliking her.

"I didn't tell Mon or Chandler what I saw you and your friends doing."

"I don't care."

"I'm not sure you get how serious this is. He's going to flunk out of school. He is completely spiraling. You really crossed the line with-"

"I don't care."

"Rach, what are you doing? This isn't you."

"How do you know? You don't know me. You're just the older brother of a girl I went to high school with."

"Really?" Ross asked, that was not true. He knew that wasn't true. It hurt him to hear her say that.

"Yes. That is all."

"Okay."

"I have to go. I'm going to Vail."

"Okay, good luck to you Rachel."

And with that Ross hung up and stared at his bulletin board. He hadn't taken the picture down yet but now seemed to be a good time. He reached towards it and took the picture of Rachel in her cheerleading uniform off his wall. He ripped it up and threw it in the trash. It was dead, his friendship with Rachel was over. He would never look at her the same way. He called Jonathan and suggested that they kill off Two-Face. Two-Face was taken over by her evil self and her evil self had won.

Ross, Monica, and Lizzie arrived at Chandler's house as soon as finals ended. Chandler's house was not really a house, more like a commune. Ross had never seen a house quite that huge. There was a large wrought iron gate and a metal box that he had to punch numbers into so that it could open. Lizzie jumped out of the car as soon as it came to a stop. Ross had rented a car for the trip and he felt quite shabby parking next to Sally. He would have made a joke, but Lizzie was already pounding on the door. Ross was quite convinced she was losing her mind. When a maid opened the door, Lizzie ran past her and kept walking towards a room by a giant staircase. When they opened the door to a movie theater. It was a real, actual movie theater. He had always known Chandler was wealthy but seeing it up close was a different matter.

Chandler was slumped over in one of the seats and when the trio ran towards him, they saw he was surrounded by pills and booze. He was completely passed out as Lizzie said next to him and began shaking him.

"Chandler, wake up. Chandler..."

"What?" Chandler asked, his eyes fluttering open and shutting again.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Monica asked.

"Don't speak," Lizzie said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Liz?" Chandler asked.

"No, this is all your fault," Lizzie cried. "No, Monica...you...why did you cut off his toe? You cut off his toe, they gave him meds and then...why...did you not like him in one piece?"

It was official, Lizzie had lost her mind. Ross was convinced. She had officially gone over the edge.

"Whoa, whoa, Lizzie...this is not Monica's fault," Ross said as Lizzie sat next to Chandler and began stroking his face.

"Please talk to me," Lizzie said, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm okay," Chandler said.

"No, you're not. You're drinking too much. This needs to stop," Lizzie said.

"I'm going to sit in the car," Monica said, quietly. "I'm sorry, Chandler."

"It's not your fault, Monica. Lizzie...it's not Monica's fault," Chandler said.

"Why did you cut off his toe? What could he have possibly done that he needed to lose a limb?" Lizzie asked.

"Nothing. Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm gonna...are you gonna...maybe I should make you something to eat. You're hungry, right? I can go find your kitchen," Monica asked, stepping back and walking out of the theater.

"Ross, go with her," Chandler said before Ross could say anything.

"Dude...what are you doing? You are gonna throw your life away and-"

"Ross, listen to me...go find your sister and watch her," Chandler said. Ross walked out of the theater and towards the kitchen where he saw Monica making mac and cheese.

"Mon?" Ross asked. Monica turned and looked at him as she continued to cook. "Mon, don't take what Lizzie said too personally. She just...she likes him a lot and she...she spends a lot of time trying to fix him. She was upset and-"

"It is my fault, Ross."

"It is not."

"Yeah, it is. It's my fault...and Rachel's."

"Rachel?"

"He called me fat."

"When?"

"During Thanksgiving, when you brought him over the first time. He called me fat and I overheard it. I got mad...and then when he came over for Thanksgiving this year...and Rachel hates him. It was her idea."

"To cut off his toe?"

"No, no...to embarrass him. To get him naked and embarrass him...it backfired. It's my fault."

He knew this. They had talked about this already but he had forgotten, with all the other drama, he had forgotten about that conversation in the car about what had happened. He had been concentrating too much on the fact that they had given Chandler pills to really pay much attention to what Rachel and Monica were saying.

"It is not your fault. It was an accident and he's an addict, that's not your fault."

"Lizzie thinks it is."

"Because she wants to save him. She wants to protect and...wait, did you lose all this weight because Chandler called you fat?"

"No," Monica said.

"Mon, did you?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me. Come on, I've got enough lying from Chandler, I don't need it from you too."

"I'm not gonna do it again. I'm at my goal weight," Monica smiled.

"Mon-"

Ross was about to say something else when Lizzie walked into the kitchen, with Chandler practically draped around her. Ross walked over and immediately grabbed Chandler. Chandler placed his arm around Ross as Ross dragged him off towards the table, sitting him down. Chandler sat down and looked at them.

"How long are you guys staying?" Chandler asked.

"Well, I don't really have anywhere to go. I can call Carol and she can be here. So can Kip and Gandalf. We can stay till New Years," Ross said.

"You'd do that?" Chandler asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah," Ross said.

"Can I stay too?" Monica asked. "I-I had wanted to spend time with Rachel, apparently she is going on a ski trip with some friends of her from college."

"Of course, Monica. Yeah...it'll be fun to have another girl here and I'm really sorry about what I said," Lizzie said.

"I'm sorry too...and I'm sorry Chandler. I didn't know it would lead to this. Please believe me, it was an accident. I never wanted this to happen and I didn't want you to lose a limb and...I'm so sorry," Monica said, tears streaming down her face. Lizzie immediately walked towards her and hugged her. Ross kept looking at Lizzie. She was acting crazy. He was starting to worry about her.

"Throw these out," Chandler said. "I'm done."

Ross looked over at Chandler who handed him several bottles of pills. Ross took the bottles, looking at each one. He looked at Chandler and patted him on the back as he grabbed the bottles and walked towards the sink and began dumping bottles of pills down the garbage disposal and watched as Lizzie and Monica sat near Chandler. Ross did make a mental note though that he would need to talk to Lizzie.

He got his chance later that night while Monica was taking her turn watching Chandler go through withdrawals. He found Lizzie sitting by herself in the club of Chandler's house. His home had an actual club. She was sitting in one of the booths and he plopped himself down next to her.

"So, you've officially lost your mind," Ross said. "I mean, come on-"

"Are you referring to my unstable moments of complete hysteria with your sister?"

"Yes."

"I'll apologize again. I don't know why I'm acting like this... but….you know, I always wanted to live in New York. I dreamed of it. I thought I could be an actress on Broadway. I want to be an actress. I want to be on Broadway and when I met Chandler, I thought he was so cute and funny and when we were both going to NYU, I thought it was going to be perfect. I could have a boyfriend and go on auditions and live this amazing New York life. I've lived here now for a year and a half and I have not gone on a single audition and I've watched him slowly kill himself. I snapped today, I know I did. Blaming Monica was stupid and….although, can I blame Rachel?"

"Of course."

"What am I going to do? If I break up with him then….then what if he dies? Then I just wait for the call, you know? He's not going to make it to thirty. I'm going to get a call and he's going to be dead."

"He'll make it to thirty and we will celebrate his thirtieth birthday and it will be huge."

"If he makes it to thirty, we will have to throw him the biggest party ever and he will make it to thirty….and you...you go and audition, take an acting class. Do that….don't let this completely take over your life. You've let it take over your life."

"I lost any sense of who I am."

"I can tell. You also need to sleep and not yell at my sister."

"I know. I need to...I don't know...I don't think I know how to be me anymore. I'm enabling that, I know that...I'm his babysitter, not his girlfriend," Lizzie said as she let out a sigh. Ross placed his arm around her and continued comforting her. He felt bad for her. He felt sorry for her. He would need to talk to Chandler, maybe tell him to treat Lizzie better.

By New Years Eve, Chandler was feeling better and there was a raging party going on in the club in Chandler's house. Ross, Monica, Gandalf, Kip, Lizzie, Chandler and Carol sat together in one of the booths. There were people dressed in drag, doing drugs, drinking. Chandler's mom was dressed in next to nothing and music was pulsating through the club. Ross had never seen anything like this. Chandler's mom even offered him tequila which was bizarre.

"Did your mom say anything about the drugs?" Ross asked as Chandler's mom walked away and began dancing with some guy wearing gold pants.

"No," Chandler said.

"This is a strange life you lead...really," Monica said.

"It is," Chandler said.

They sat for awhile longer until Chandler decided they needed to leave. He got up and the rest followed as they walked into the movie theater. Chandler loaded in some movies as the group sat together, ringing in the New Year by watching movies.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summer 1989**

When Professor Stampson asked him to go on a paleontology dig that summer in Israel, how could he say no? It was the trip of a lifetime, to be in Israel, a place he had always wanted to go and dig. He joked that maybe he'd find things like the Ten Commandments. Although, he wasn't quite sure about that. Nonetheless, he could not wait discover this other part of the world. He could also invite people, friends. Those friends needed to pay their own way, though. He immediately asked Chandler, Will, Jonathan, Carol and Lizzie and all but Chandler turned him down.

"I'm interning at Universal Pictures," Will said. Will was fully embracing himself in the Los Angeles lifestyle. He would tell Ross about studying on the beach or complain about the traffic and smog.

"Oh, look who's gonna be the movie star now," Ross teased.

"No, I'm just enjoying the life. Besides, a summer in the desert? How hot will it be?"

"Well, the average is about a hundred and ten in the summer. I'll wear shorts."

"Tempting."

"Alright, enjoy your movie stars," Ross teased as he hung up with Will.

His friendship with Will was definitely changing as distance typically does. It did make him slightly sad, but not in that friendship ending sort of way. Just in that, things are changing type. Jonathan said no as well and his reason actually seemed kinda cool.

"Interning at the New York Times?" Ross asked over pizza with Jonathan.

"I know. I don't understand how I got hired," Jonathan said.

"'Cause you're good."

"And interns don't get paid."

"Probably."

"That's amazing."

"It really is. I mean, I'll probably just be getting coffee and running errands, but man it will be amazing," Jonathan said.

"Maybe you can get our comics published?" Ross asked.

"Maybe."

"Okay, I did it," Lizzie said, racing up to them with a huge grin on her face.

"What?" Ross asked.

"I signed up for a summer-long intensive acting course through NYU. I'm gonna be doing Shakespeare and singing show tunes out of my ass-"

"Well, if that doesn't get you an Oscar," Jonathan mused.

"I know. It's gonna be….oh, and I'm gonna live with my sister who just got an apartment here. I can just….I need this. I so need this," Lizzie said.

"I'm glad you're happy," Ross said. Ever since winter break, there had been a slow change come over Lizzie. He began to notice that she was starting to pull away from Chandler. That she wasn't taking care of him every single night, she was going out, she was doing her own thing. It made him secretly happy.

"I'm excited and he will be in Israel and I don't have to worry...well, I will worry but….man, this is gonna be life changing," Lizzie said.

"Good news," Chandler said as he approached their table and placed his arm around Lizzie. "Gandalf and Kip are coming to Israel with us."

"Why?" Ross asked.

"I invited them. You said you were allowed to invite friends as long as they paid their own way," Chandler said.

"My friends," Ross said.

"It's okay, I paid for them. I'm paying their way," Chandler said, grinning. Jonathan, Lizzie, and Ross all exchanged confused looks and looked back at Chandler. It was another thing he did not like about Gandalf and Kip. Chandler clearly came from an insane amount of wealth. His home which seemed more like a commune was a reminder of that, but Kip and Gandalf seemed to constantly take advantage of it, something Lizzie and Ross saw but Chandler clearly did not.

"You paid for three round trip tickets to Israel?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, with that lay over in Amsterdam but yeah, it's all good," Chandler said.

"Chandler, that's almost two grand," Ross said.

"Hey, I'm good for it. It's fine," Chandler said.

Ross looked at Lizzie who was biting her bottom lip. He could tell she was trying to hold herself back.

"Chandler, far be it from me to judge but do you think they might be taking advantage of you," Jonathan said.

"They're my friends. It's what you do for friends," Chandler said.

"Really? Oh, Jonathan can you loan me-"

"Not a chance in hell," Jonathan said, cutting Ross off. Ross laughed as Chandler just rolled his eyes.

"Alright, I'm going to get pizza and Liz, I'm gonna miss you. Who will take care of me?" Chandler asked.

"Well, you're an adult so….you," Lizzie said. "By the way, can you get me a slice and a diet coke?"

"I'm short on cash."

"I wonder why," Lizzie said as she reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet and handed Chandler some cash.

"Thank you," Chandler said as he gave her a kiss and walked off towards the counter to get pizza. Lizzie turned back and glared at Ross.

"Someone is getting really snippy lately," Ross said.

"I'm-I-Kip and Gandalf? I don't know. Maybe I should go to Israel and take care of him. You'll be busy with all your digs-"

"Metaphorical or literal?" Jonathan asked.

"Both," Ross shot back although Lizzie wasn't paying attention.

"I can probably get a refund on the class-"

"No, Lizzie are you actually hearing what you're saying?" Ross asked.

"You're staying in New York. Our buddy Sam is having a July 4th party. You and your sister are invited. So you have plans," Jonathan said.

"Where's the party?" Lizzie asked.

"We haven't thought that far in advance," Jonathan said.

"Stay here," Ross said. "You are not welcome in the Homeland."

"But Kip and Gandalf…..they don't think he has a problem and if he passes out from drinking too much then-"

"Then I will take care of him. Kip and Gandalf aren't the only ones who don't think he has a problem, Chandler doesn't think there's a problem and from what I've read, he's the one who needs to think there's a problem," Ross said.

"He spent two grand….doesn't he see that they are not his friends? They are taking advantage of him? He can spend two grand on them, but he can't afford to buy me a five dollar slice of pizza," Lizzie said.

"Forget about Chandler this summer. Okay. Go have fun, be an actress. Act in stuff. I will keep him alive, I promise," Ross said.

"Yeah, the only kind of dead he'll be touching is stuff that's been dead for like thousands of years," Jonathan said.

"Exactly," Ross said.

"Okay, okay….no, this is good. I need this. I need to...I need to be me again and not a crazy lunatic constantly worried about my boyfriend who is not worrying about himself at all. I do need this. This is gonna be a good summer. I will go to your fourth of July party. Maybe I'll even pretend to be single," Lizzie said.

"I think that might be taking it too far," Ross said.

"You don't think he's cheated on me already. Maybe not soberly….but I'm guessing," Lizzie said. "This will be the perfect summer and….nothing I do leaves the three of us and Sam."

"Deal," both Jonathan and Ross said together as Lizzie shook both of their hands and Chandler returned to the table. He felt bad for Chandler. He didn't want to think that Lizzie might be cheating on his friend and he did like Chandler. He liked him quite a bit. He thought Chandler was hands down the funniest guy he knew. He was also sensitive and kind hearted, it was just that he seemed so unaware of his demons. So unaware of how serious the problem was. Even after Chandler had gone through withdrawals over winter break, he went right back to drinking. He just wasn't taking pills. At least Ross didn't think so.

Carol could not come either which made him sad. She couldn't afford it and after Ross had spent the money to get Chandler's car fixed after that horrible Thanksgiving, his parents said no to spending more money. Carol was staying in New York, she would hang out with Lizzie and Jonathan and Sam. When he said goodbye to her at the airport, he felt his heart break a little. He hadn't remembered ever feeling quite this way about anyone. Not even Rachel.

Chandler and Ross said side by side in coach and got ready for the long trip ahead. Ross let out a sigh as Chandler ordered a Bloody Mary and Ross ordered a diet coke.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"We're on a plane for a gazillion hours," Chandler said.

"We have the layover in Amsterdam. So not quite…." Ross asked.

"Do you think you Lizzie is going to break up with me?"

Ross looked at him, a little taken aback by the out of the blue question until he saw concern in his friend's eyes. He recalled the conversation with Lizzie in the pizza place and began to feel bad.

"You like her, don't you?" Ross asked.

"I do. I really do. I know I treat her like crap."

"Well, if you know then why do you keep doing it?"

"I don't know. I don't….I like her. I met her when I was eleven years old. I've never had any other girlfriends. I don't think any other girl has ever liked me like that. I don't think I'm doing it right."

"Well, I mean….you really take her for granted. She's basically at your beck and call and she's always there for you, cleaning up after you. I don't know a lot about relationships but I don't...I mean, you paid for three tickets to Israel and you couldn't buy her a slice of pepperoni pizza and a soda."

"I'm going to lose her, aren't I?"

"If you're not careful. I mean, when we were taking care of you over Winter Break….she snapped at Monica, she….she's afraid she's losing herself by being so attached to you so maybe you could think about her for a change?" Ross asked. "She's….why do you think she didn't want to come to Israel?"

"She didn't want to come because of me?"

"She didn't want to take care of you the whole time. I know that's harsh….but you're still drinking."

"I just took too many pills. I went a little overboard. I don't have a problem. I'm not...I don't….I don't have a problem. I can manage it now. You don't drink a lot so therefore-"

"I understand. Treat her better."

"I will. I'll try…. you know, she looks identical to your sister," Chandler said. "She's got like the hair and she's pretty and those eyes."

"Do you like my sister?" Ross asked, giving him a slight grin.

"No. No….I'm comparing people."

"Oh, but you do know that if you dated my sister, there would be no way you'd get away with the kind of crap Lizzie lets you get away with."

"I know but Monica's too good for me. Lizzie is too, but I'm gonna keep hoping she doesn't become aware of that because if I lose her, that's it."

"What's it?"

"She's it. I mean….lose her and I'll probably never date again."

"That's really sad."

"It is what it is. I can use another Bloody Mary."

"It's eight thirty in the morning, you do realize that. Don't you?"

"Bloody Mary is a breakfast drink."

"Yeah, there's no problem," Ross let out a sigh and rested his head on the back of his seat.

"I don't-"

"I know. You don't have a problem."

"I don't."

"I know."

"You know, it is getting annoying that you don't believe me. It's just that you don't drink a lot so it seems like I do," Chandler said.

"You are right," Ross said, no longer wanting to argue. He knew now not to argue. it was pointless. He had been reading more about addiction and knew that the chances of Chandler relapsing again, of him going overboard were pretty good, but he would make good on his promise to remain Chandler's friend. He would be there when Chandler relapsed again.

There was a layover in Amsterdam. They would be spending the night there and leaving in the morning. They arrived that night and as soon as they landed, Chandler, Kip, and Gandalf wanted to hit the infamous Red Light District. Ross wasn't sure he could.

"How can we not hit up the Red Light District? We are in Amsterdam." Chandler said.

"We have to see prostitutes," Gandalf said.

"I wanna hook up with a prostitute," Chandler said.

"You have a girlfriend," Ross said.

"You said she's gonna break up with me," Chandler said.

"If you hook up with a prostitute, she will," Ross said. "Besides we have to be on the plane at six am tomorrow to go to Israel. We don't have time."

"You are such a wet rag. We get trashed, we sleep it off on the plane," Kip said.

"You're on my trip," Ross said.

"Come on, Ross. We'll be good. Come on," Chandler whined. Ross let out another sigh. He knew he was at a loss. It would be three against one and he had no choice but to go out with them. He knew that if they went out, they would get trashed and might not make it back to the plane on time and Chandler might have to spend more money on plane tickets.

"Fine, I'll go with you," Ross said, "but I have to um….talk to my professor."

"Why?" Gandalf said.

"It's his trip. It's actually my trip and I don't wanna get kicked off," Ross said.

"You are such a dumbass," Kip said.

"Come on, Ross. You don't need to tell your professor," Chandler said, giving him a pleading look which confused him. He got up and walked out of of the room and towards Professor Stampson's room. He knocked on the door waiting for the bespectacled professor to answer and when he did, Ross immediately told him what was going on.

"You're going out now?" the professor asked.

"It's my roommate and his friends….look-"

"We have a flight at 6am. We have to be at the airport at 4, 5."

"I know. Look, I wouldn't-okay, my roommate is an alcoholic who doesn't think he's an alcoholic-"

"Great," Professor Stampson said, rather sarcastically.

"And if he goes out with Kip and Gandalf, he's gonna get trashed and we're going to end up leaving him here and he's already got his ticket and Kip's and Gandalf's….and….I just…."

"You're not his babysitter. If he's got this much of a problem, then he needs help and you do not need to take it on."

"I know. Look, I will be on that plane at 6a."

"Okay. I want you on this dig," Professor Stampson said. Ross nodded. He would be there. He would make sure of it. Kip and Gandalf could call him every name in the book, but he would still be there, on that plane. He would not miss that dig, it was his dream and he would be there.

It was a long night. He followed Kip, Gandalf and Chandler all around the Red Light District. He remained completely sober while they proceeded to get drunker and drunker and even more high. The hours wore on and he was getting exhausted. They were getting more and more rowdy.

"We have to be back at the hotel in two hours," Ross said as he looked at his watch. It was almost two am. He wanted to go to sleep, but it fell on deaf ears.

"Dude, you need to get high," Kip said.

"If I get high, I get kicked off," Ross said.

"You worry too much. Jackass," Gandalf laughed.

"Hey, he's good. No worries," Chandler slurred.

"Whoa, a brothel," Kip said.

"We should go and hook up before we go back. Bing, you got cash?" Gandalf said.

"Yeah, no worries. I'm good for it," Chandler said.

"You're gonna pay prostitutes?" Ross asked.

"It's fine, it's fine," Chandler said, "you want me to get you one?"

"No," Ross said. "We need to head back."

"Later, later….after this," Chandler said as they walked towards a brothel. Ross didn't want to walk inside. He didn't want to know what Chandler, Kip, and Gandalf were doing so he waited outside as the they walked into the brothel. He could see through the window as Chandler handed a wad of cash to Kip and wad of cash to Gandalf and the three of them were led off in three different directions by three different scantily clad women.

As he stood outside waiting, he took in Amsterdam. It was actually quite nice out. His eyes landed on a group of people walking down the street, laughing loudly, singing and clearly drunk as well. His eyes landed on a girl who was riding on the back of a guy. She was wearing what appeared to be a blonde wig. He heard another a girl in the group yell, "Rachel!" to the girl riding piggyback on the guy. The girl in the wig, Rachel, screamed, "no, I'm Raquel, bitches." He knew immediately, it was Rachel Green. He wondered why she was wearing a wig or where she was going, but he knew that following her would be wrong. She was no longer their friend. No longer his friend. It was strange seeing her be completely obliterated on the streets on the streets of Amsterdam, but there was nothing he could do. The group was practically dancing down the street, singing and drinking until they disappeared into another bar.

Chandler, Kip and Gandalf soon emerged from the brothel. He had contemplated telling Chandler that he had seen Rachel but decided against it. If he told Chandler about that weird sighting, Chandler would want to go to the bar and be mean to her but Ross was tired and Rachel looked like she was having a good time and he figured it was best to not tell. Besides all three seemed ready to call it a night, finally. He was thrilled. He wanted nothing more than to just go back to the hotel.

He was shocked that he had made it onto the plane. Shocked that Chandler, Kip and Gandalf had also made it although they looked worse for the wear. Professor Stampson said nothing to Ross, except maybe shaking his head as Ross helped the three to their seats. They all looked very hung over. As soon as they sat though, Chandler ordered a Bloody Mary.

"Seriously? It's six am," Ross said.

"It helps soothe me," Chandler said.

"Fine. Once we get to Israel, you're on your own."

"Okay. I can take care of myself."

"Did you cheat on Lizzie?" Ross asked.

"Well, she's probably cheating on me and she's….you said the relationship is over," Chandler said.

"No, I didn't. I can't believe you hooked up with a prostitute," Ross said.

"Stop judging me."

"No, I will. I just….I'm exhausted. I don't really want to deal with your crap right now."

"Hey, lay off."

Ross let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He was furious, angry, but he didn't want to say anything else. He was sure if he said something, he would regret it. Maybe once in Israel, he would stick to his word. He would leave Chandler on his own and just hope he wouldn't go too far overboard.

In Israel, Ross was busy. His days were spent in the desert digging, researching, learning. Chandler joined a few times but made too many jokes and left. Chandler, Kip, and Gandalf spent their days doing...he wasn't sure what and he did not care. This was for him. He wanted this trip. He was certain now what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to become a paleontologist. He wanted to study fossils and see the history. What a wonderful world that would be? He knew and knowing was a burden that was removed from his shoulders. He knew exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up….or grew up more.

It was three months of digging and he had put together fossils and discovered the history of animals long ago dead. He wrote papers at night about his findings while Chandler, Gandalf, and Kip hit every club they could find and drink themselves into a drunken stupor. He barely saw them and he just did not care. He felt sad when the trip wound down and came to an end that August. It had truly been a once in a lifetime trip.

When he returned, he immediately went to Carol's to tell her everything he had found and to his surprise, she listened happily. She took in everything he said and seemed really fascinated by it.

"That sounds amazing," Carol said over dinner in her apartment.

"It was unbelievable. I found bones and….I put together a small animal which was….It was so cool and...it's like putting together a puzzle."

"So neat….and traveling with Chandler was fine?" Carol asked.

"After Amsterdam, I stopped paying attention. Did Lizzie have fun?" Ross asked.

"Oh, she had a lot of fun."

"Really?" Ross asked. "Did she…"

"I think she's going to break up with him. She was dating this guy from her acting class. I didn't say anything but they got really close. I don't really know if they're still dating but…..it was….at Sam's July 4th party, they were all over each other."

"Hmmm….."

"I don't know. I could be wrong."

"I'll find out soon enough, they're going to dinner tonight."

"Yeah, I'm so glad you had fun."

"How was your summer?"

"Fun. I love New York. It's so warm. I did try to get my parents to come and visit but they said no. I did get sent four bibles."

"Mazel Tov."

"I know."

"Are they okay that you're dating me?"

"I haven't told them yet," Carol said.

"Oh, why not?" Ross asked.

"Because….I just...I don't want to."

"That makes me feel warm and fuzzy."

"It's not you, it's them."

"Okay….I did miss you though," Ross said, wrapping his arms around Carol. She smiled at him as the two shared a kiss. "I love you, Carol."

"I love you, too," Carol said as they continued kissing. He had never gone this far with any woman. He had never had sex. Their kissing became more and more intense as they fell onto the couch in Carol's room. Soon, their bodies intertwined and their clothes were torn off. It felt amazing to be that close, that intimate with someone and he had never been that intimate and as he hovered over Carol, ready to enter into her he knew at that moment that Carol was the only woman he ever wanted to be intimate with.

They broke up. He found that out. Chandler and Lizzie broke up. Carol had been right. Lizzie had begun dating an actor she met in her acting class and dumped Chandler over dinner.

"And I did what you told me to do," Chandler said over their typical pizza meal.

"What?" Ross asked.

"When we were in Israel, I sent her letters and gifts. I thought of her and over dinner….I even told her I loved her."

"You had never said it before?"

"No."

"Okay….well, what did she say?"

"Oh, crap. I said, 'I love you'. She said, 'oh, crap.'

"Well, you did cheat on her," Ross said.

"This is all your fault."

"How? You fucked this up."

"How did I fuck this up?" Chandler asked.

"You treated her like crap," Ross said.

"I sent her gifts over the summer."

"How does that makeup for everything? You were still drunk all summer. I ignored you practically the entire time. You almost fucked up my trip because of what you pulled in Amsterdam, dude you've gotta start making it easier to be your friend."

"You done?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry you and Lizzie broke up."

"Your sister is upset too."

"Why?"

"She came over to talk to you after Liz and I broke up. Apparently, Rachel officially ended their friendship. That girl really is awful. How do you dump Monica? She's psycho."

"Rachel officially ended their friendship?" Ross asked, that broke his heart. Rachel really was cutting ties with them. It made him sad all over again.

After eating with Chandler, he decided to make two visits. The first to Lizzie's dorm. When Lizzie let him in, he could tell she had been crying. They hugged and sat on her bed as she grabbed tissues to dab her eyes.

"I had to. I just had to….I….I-"

"Carol said you met a guy."

"He's this guy I met in my acting class. Joey. I don't know what will happen but he-it was so easy. Fun. I found myself. I had fun. I-I know I hurt Chandler and I'm so sorry, I couldn't do it anymore and I'm sure he got drunk every night when you were away and….I couldn't….but I still feel bad. I really fell for him. I loved him so much Ross, but I can't. It's not healthy. He doesn't love himself and he's gonna die before thirty, I know he will."

"I'll make sure makes it to thirty."

"Did I do the right thing?"

"I think you did. Chandler's one of my best friends but he put you through a lot."

"I thought I was gonna marry him. Elizabeth Bing. But I couldn't…..am I giving up on someone who is sick? Is that cruel? He doesn't even know he's sick. Please promise me you will remain his friend."

"I will."

"Will you remain mine?"

"Always."

"I want him to be okay. Did he drink a lot?"

"Yes."

"Did he cheat on me?"

"Do you really want to know?" Ross asked.

"I cheated on him."

Ross let out a sigh, not wanting to tell her. He began to slowly tell her what he knew, carefully watching her face for a reaction.

"Okay….we had a layover in Amsterdam and he got high and drunk and went to a brothel and-"

"Don't tell me," Lizzie said, shaking her head. Ross let out a laugh. He knew she wouldn't want to know everything. "Am I horrible person?"

"No. By the way….he said 'I love you'"-

"And I said, 'oh, crap'".

"Nice."

"He was my first everything. First kiss, first….just first….I wanted it to be so romantic and wonderful but it's not. It won't end that way. I can't hold on. I don't like who I am when I'm with him and it sucks because when he's sober, oh man, he's incredible. Funny, smart, kind, perfect…..then he drinks and it's not so perfect anymore and I'm babysitting him and he's paying for people who don't really want to be his friend."

"It's okay, Liz. I'll take care of him."

"Okay."

"We're still friends."

"Good," Lizzie said as the two hugged. Lizzie kept crying which killed him. He had always hated it when women cried. He hated watching Lizzie be hurt but he knew it was coming and he knew had another crying woman to tend to.

After Lizzie's, he headed to Monica's loft. He found Monica on her couch looking through old photo albums while sipping wine. She too had been crying as he sat by her and looked at the photo album. It was pictures of her and Rachel.

"So Lizzie and Chandler broke up," Ross said.

"I know. I saw Lizzie hooking up with some guy at an acting class party I catered."

"Oh."

"Although, I think Chandler had it coming. She let him get away with so much crap and he treated her horribly," Monica said.

"Yeah, speaking of people treating others horribly…..sorry, about Rachel."

"I miss her. I know we had been drifting apart, but she really was my best friend, Ross. My best friend broke up with me. It hurts and I know so much about Rachel. Stuff you don't even know. This isn't her. This bitchiness."

"Maybe it is. Maybe it is who she is."

"No it's not and that's the sad part. She's gonna come back. I know she will. She can't hide from herself forever but….I miss her."

"You wanna have Twinkies and sit in a pantry and talk?" Ross asked, grinning.

"No, no….that's only for Rachel and I and when she's ready to come back, I will have a box waiting for her and we will chat," Monica said, crying again. Ross smiled as he placed an arm around Monica.

"I think I saw her on the streets of Amsterdam with her friends," Ross said.

"Really? Was she happy?" Monica asked.

Ross opened his mouth, not sure what to say. She was happy though he hadn't spoken to her. She hadn't noticed him.

"No. No….not happy."

"Thank you."

Ross grinned as Monica kept looking at the pictures and he stayed as well, looking. He felt very removed from them. He felt removed from that life, he was moving forward. That trip had changed him. He knew where he was going and with Carol by his side, he knew he was unstoppable.


	13. Chapter 13

**I did not get a single review after the last chapter! Come on people, review...I don't do this for my health, I do it for the respect and validation of others...duh! :)**

**Also, I know a lot of you really disliked Lizzie in Chandler's story. There was a lot of Lizzie hate. Hopefully, you like her a bit more now?**

**Out of curiosity...how many of you have read all of the "True Story of..." stories so far? How many have read only one or two, do you have a favorite?**

**April 1990**

After Lizzie and Chandler had broken up back in September, Chandler's partying had increased and Lizzie had seemingly vanished. Ross had tried to be her friend, but suddenly she moved out of her dorm and he no longer saw her. There were some rumors, rumors that reminded him of the ones he had heard back in high school about Rachel. He was close to Carol now, they were officially a couple spending most nights together and while there was part of him that worried about Chandler, he liked being in a relationship.

"Why don't you hang out with me?" Carol asked over their now quite typical pizza meal. They were at the Pizza Hut, hanging out, eating and discussing Chandler's twenty-first birthday which would be coming up in a few days.

"Because the man will be celebrating the fact that now it's legal for him to get drunk off his ass. G-d knows what will happen?"

"Nothing good."

"Of course you know what will suck? Gandalf and Kip are twenty-one so I'm gonna have to listen to the stupid jokes, 'oh, Geller, you're not twenty-one. You're lame'. How can I possibly be blamed for the month I was born?"

"It's sounds like your night is gonna be awesome."

"I'm gonna be driving them around all evening. I feel like I should just start charging per mile."

"That will be hilarious. I think you should and you know, you drive Sally as much as Chandler at this point."

"I know. I should be listed on his car insurance. Come with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I hate Kip and Gandalf and don't want to spend the entire evening with them. They keep calling me Lesbo Carol. So offensive. I'm not a lesbian. If I were….I'm not…."

"I believe you," Ross said.

"Although, maybe you could get drunk tonight."

"Probably not. I'm the designated driver and…"

"You should go crazy. Maybe for your twenty-first. Really just let loose. You don't let loose."

"I let loose."

"Liar."

"I could. For Chandler's birthday, I'm driving a car I'm not insured to drive."

"Whoa."

"I know," Ross laughed as he and Carol continued their lunch date. He loved being there with her. He felt so comfortable with her. He could imagine being with her forever and he felt so lucky. How many guys could say they succeeded in finding "the one" their first time out? He was certain with Carol, he had found the one.

It was now officially Chandler's birthday and while Chandler was drinking in the common area with Kip and Gandalf, he was reading in his dorm when the phone rang. He grabbed it and after saying hello several times, he was stunned to hear Lizzie's voice on the other end.

"Lizzie?"

"Is Chandler there?" Lizzie asked.

"Hey, watch me suck this mother fucking shit down, fucker," Chandler screamed from the shared area. That was followed by Kip and Gandalf cracking up. Ross rolled his eyes.

"Did you hear that?" Ross asked.

"What's he sucking down?" Lizzie asked.

"Haven't a clue. Do you want me to get him?"

"No...no, maybe….no….just...tell him I said Happy Birthday and I miss him."

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you in seven months."

"Oh...um….just family issues."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah…."

"Why don't you come out with us tonight? I'm the designated driver."

"I can't."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ross asked.

"Yes. Just…please take care of him tonight."

"He's made it to twenty-one. Only nine more years until thirty."

"Yep. Just tell him I said Happy Birthday," Lizzie said.

"Hey, dude," Chandler said walking up towards to him, drinking a mimosa. "We're planning out there. Come help us. Who are you talking to?"

"Don't tell him," Lizzie said. "I have to go, bye."

Lizzie hung up and Ross looked over at Chandler. Something was off, Lizzie was being weird. He wondered if something else had happened.

"Have you….have you talked to Lizzie?"

"No, that bitch dumped me," Chandler said.

"She just called to say Happy Birthday."

"Ehhh, i don't really care."

"She….just….she sounded weird. Like something is going on."

"It's not my problem Geller."

Ross cocked his head to the side and stared at him. Chandler was sipping his drink and staring at Ross, shrugging and shaking his head.

"How-you've known her for eleven years. Break up or not, that's a long time. You were friends with her far longer than you dated her. How can you write her off so easily? "

"She cheated and dumped me."

"Wow….I think you and Rachel are a lot more alike than you both realize."

"Like a knife to the heart."

"How do you write someone off that you've known for eleven years, that's a Rachel move. Did you care about Lizzie at all."

"She didn't say goodbye," Chandler said.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked. There seemed to be a darkness float over Chandler's face. His eyes almost hardened.

"Lizzie. Just like my dad. He left without even saying goodbye, without turning back."

"You didn't give her the chance. You kicked her out of your car."

"I loved her, Ross. She was it for me and now she's gone. I'm writing her off 'cause it's just easier. I'm not like Rachel. Not at all. Rachel's a bitch. I'm…"

"Broken?"

"Hmmm, perhaps. Let's my plan my birthday," Chandler said, taking another sip from his mimosa and walking out, leaving Ross staring after him. it was a lot. Chandler was a lot, but he had made a promise to Lizzie. He would remain Chandler's friend although he was quite aware that nights like tonight would be tough.

He walked out of the room and into the common area. Chandler was resting on the couch sipping his mimosa with Gandalf and Kip shouting out ideas. Of course, none of those ideas were things he could legally do yet.

"Dude, let's do Atlantic City," Gandalf said.

"That would be awesome," Kip said.

"That's the one thing I haven't done," Chandler smiled.

"But I can't go," Ross said.

"You don't have to go," Gandalf said.

"No...I wanna go, but I can't. I...I'm not twenty-one yet," Ross said.

"Well, then...you can't come," Gandalf said.

Ross nodded. He truly disliked Gandalf and Kip. He hated how obnoxious they were, how they took advantage of Chandler and how they constantly gave him a hard time for being younger than the rest of them. He had never cared all that much that he was younger, that he couldn't drink yet, but this was getting annoying.

"Well, let's think of something all four of us can do," Chandler said.

"I wanna go to Atlantic City. Ross can stay in the room, we'll hang out with him when we get back," Gandalf said.

"It's fine," Ross said and it was, it would be. Maybe he could do dinner with Chandler when they got back from Atlantic City.

"No, no...I wanna hang out with my boys tonight...and wait, you know...what about Atlantic City during Halloween? Ross will finally be twenty one...that would be amazing," Chandler said.

"That would be cool," Kip said.

"Alright, alright...what do you wanna tonight, Bing?" Gandalf asked.

"Well...Ross, you do have to be the designated driver," Chandler said.

"That's fine," Ross said, knowing that would be the case.

"Then whatever you have planned will be fine," Chandler said.

Chandler lay back on the couch as Gandalf and Kip did most of the planning. Ross mouthed "thanks" to Chandler but wasn't sure what he was thanking him for. He was going to be in hell, but he survived it before and he would do it again.

The night began with Ross in the driver's seat. Driving Sally was really the one thing he was looking forward to that night. Chandler in the passenger's seat and Kip and Gandalf in back.

"So where am I driving to?" Ross asked.

"Drive…. the night is young," Chandler said.

"Why don't you let us ever drive Sally?" Gandalf asked.

"Because….Ross is the only one I trust with this car. Sally is the reason I get laid so Sally has got to last," Chandler said.

"You've had one girlfriend and she dumped your ass," Kip said.

"But I did get laid in it. One time, Liz and I did it in the parking lot of a Wendy's," Chandler said.

"Seriously? So am I sitting on your ass print?" Ross asked.

"No….Lizzie's," Chandler said, grinning.

"Enough," Ross said.

"I pinned her up against the window-"

"Classy, Bing," Ross said.

"So, Bing maybe next you'll bang Ross' sister at a Burger King," Gandalf said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Maybe you did it already. How was your lunch?" Kip asked.

"Can we not talk about my sister in gross ways?" Ross asked.

"She's hot," Kip said.

"How was your lunch with my sister?" Ross asked, purposely ignoring Kip.

"I was twenty minutes late and she got pissed. It was fun. She's….she's nice," Chandler said.

"You totally wanna hook up with her." Kip said.

"No, no...I'm still getting over Liz. It's….we're friends….besides she's not interested," Chandler said, "and she's way out of my league."

"It's Monica. She's not out of anyone's league," Ross said.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Let's get ready to have a night we won't remember in the morning," Chandler said.

"Isn't that every night?" Ross asked, teasing. Chandler let out a snort and stared out the window and Ross continued his drive. He truly felt like a chauffeur, going from one spot to the next. He would stop at bars, use a fake ID to get in and some bars he was able to get in but others he had to wait in the car. Those moments were the ones that pissed him off the most, the waiting in the car. He would wait alone and Chandler would promise they would be right out and they'd spend at least an hour or so in there while he simply waited. It angered him how he was treated by those guys but it was his promise to Lizzie that kept him from giving up completely.

Around 2, 3 in the morning, Ross desperately wanted to go home. Chandler's birthday was a Sunday night and all this craziness was taking place on a Sunday. He had a Monday class but he knew better than to argue at this point. He would just be tired during class and be thankful that he had no tests or papers on that Monday. Soon they were on top of the Statue of Liberty. Chandler was obliterated, as were Kip and Gandalf. Ross really wanted to go home and did not want to be there.

"Oh dude...I'm gonna throw up," Chandler mused as he held onto the railing.

"Alright, alright...I have a bet. Two hundred bucks to flash the tourists Bing," Gandalf said.

"I'm in on that bet," Kip said.

"Come on it's late...let's go home. I'm tired." Ross said. This seemed like a stupid bet.

"That's 'cause you haven't been drinking," Gandalf said.

"Someone has to be the responsible grownup," Ross said.

"Wait, wait...two hundred bucks each if I show that boat load of tourists my statue? Ross, you in too?" Chandler asked.

"Fine...expose yourself and I'll give you two hundred bucks," Ross said, sounding annoyed. Chandler proceeded to pull down his pants as well as his boxers. He grabbed his penis and began to sing at the top of his lungs, singing the "_Star Spangled Banner_". Kip and Gandalf couldn't stop laughing as he kept singing. Ross turned away. This was absolutely ridiculous. When Chandler was done, he pulled back up his pants and turned to his friends.

"Pay up, bitches," Chandler said.

"Alright, alright six hundred bucks for the Chan Chan man," Gandalf said, patting him on the back as the four boys began to make their way back down towards the car.

"Can we go home? I'm tired...and this is boring," Ross said.

"We should have gone to Atlantic City," Gandalf said.

"I'm not driving to Atlantic City," Ross said.

"Rossy," Chandler said as he put his hand on Ross' shoulder. Ross cringed, knowing where that hand had just been.

"Don't touch me with that hand," Ross said.

"Let's just...loosen up. You're twenty. You're not eighty...and oh...crap," Chandler said when he suddenly turned away from Ross and vomited all over the stairwell inside the Statue of Liberty. When he was done, he smiled at Ross. "Ooops."

"Nice, Chan Chan," Gandalf said as they now ran down the stairs even faster towards Chandler's car. They all got in, but with Ross behind the wheel and because Ross was driving, he made the decision that they would go home. It was a compromise though. The other three wanted to keep drinking, so they would. Ross stopped at a liquor store where Chandler bought them bottles of alcohol. Ross was stunned they actually were okay with serving him. Once at home, Ross did drink a little and even played beer pong but soon fell asleep as the party continued.

Ross was exhausted but he was used to driving around during school nights while Chandler partied. He was currently in a lecture hall trying desperately to stay awake as his professor lectured about something. It was about one pm and he was ready to go to sleep. He was almost half way there when the door to the lecture hall swung open and there was Chandler looking like he had just woken up. Ross looked at him, Chandler didn't want to go drinking now, did he? Chandler motioned for Ross to come outside. He did as told and that's when he learned Monica had collapsed. She was at the hospital. Ross' heart dropped as he ran back into grab his stuff and tell the professor that there was an emergency. He then followed Chandler to Sally. Chandler was driving now. Ross was too scared.

"Can you go faster?" Ross asked.

"I'm hungover. I can't go that fast."

"Shit...I should have driven."

"No, no...I should."

"Fuck...she said she stopped," Ross said. Monica needed to stop. She looked fine, she was thin and he thought that was what she wanted. At her Halloween party last October, she had looked good. Chandler had kept staring at her.

"You knew?" Chandler asked.

"Of course. You don't lose two hundred and forty pounds through diet and exercise," Ross said, not adding the 'in less than a year' part. Why was she trying to hide it? Ross wondered if he should tell Chandler that he was the catalyst to this but decided not to, he didn't think Chandler would react well.

"I caught her once," Chandler admitted.

"What?"

"During Thanksgiving. When she cut off my toe."

"You should've told me," Ross said, sounding angry. Why didn't he know about this?

"I was...I wasn't doing well either."

"I confronted her about it too and I thought it was done."

Chandler nodded as he continued to drive to the hospital. When they arrived, they asked a nurse where Monica's room and were pointed in the right direction. When they found it, they ran in and saw Monica and Ross' parents sitting by Monica's bed, comforting her.

"What the hell happened?" Ross asked as he walked in.

"I collapsed...I'm not eating enough," Monica said.

"Oh, honey...you look so tired," Judy Geller said walking towards Ross and patting his cheek. Ross looked at him mom, confused. His mom looked even more tired. He knew his mom was worried about Monica.

"Monica...what are you doing?" Ross asked.

"Ross...were you in class?" Judy asked.

"Chandler got me," Ross said.

"What were you doing? You look like crap," Jack Geller said.

"I-yesterday was my twenty first birthday," Chandler said.

"Oh, I remember my twenty first birthday," Jack grinned. "Had a few too many?"

"Of course he did," Monica grinned.

Ross shook his head, wanting to focus on Monica. He knew there was a friendship forming between Monica and Chandler which he did like but at that moment, he wasn't really focused on that.

"Monica, come on….what did you do? Why are you doing this?" Ross asked.

"I think she should come home," Judy said.

"I just didn't eat enough, I'm fine," Monica said.

"You know, I'm gonna step out," Chandler said, backing out towards the hall. Ross gave him a nod before turning back to Monica. Judy was back at Monica's bedside, gently brushing Monica's hair out of her face.

"Mom, I'm fine," Monica said. "Are you really worried?"

"I'm terrified," Judy said.

Monica looked over at Ross. Ross noticed Monica seemed a little taken aback by that. He knew his sister was convinced that Ross was the favorite, that their mom preferred Ross. He could only imagine how Judy's admission was affecting Monica.

"I'm going to be fine. I don't want to live at home and it doesn't matter if I live at home. I just….I'm okay. I…" Monica said.

"Judy, our Harmonica is going to be okay. She's stronger than we give her credit for," Jack said.

"I really am. I'm stronger than Ross. You babysat a twenty one year old last night, didn't you?" Monica said.

"Three of them," Ross said.

"He looks awful," Judy whispered.

"He's hungover," Monica whispered back.

"Well, I'll be happy when you're done with college so you never have to see him again. I mean, between him and Rachel-"

"Oh yeah, mom hates Rachel," Ross said.

"You do?" Monica asked.

"Of course, she was awful to you. Your father keeps telling me I need to be nicer," Judy said looking over at Jack.

"Well, honey….Rachel and Chandler don't know any better. They need Harmonica and Ross to show them how to behave," Jack said.

"Why?" Judy asked which made Monica laugh. Ross found that funny as well. Their dad would always be the one to understand why they kept letting people like Rachel and Chandler into their lives, Judy found it rather dumb and there was something sweet about that.

A few days later, Ross was walking out of the hospital to get some dinner when he was stopped by a sight, by Rachel walking towards him. He had not seen her in so long. Her hair was still long and brown and she looked good, shy though. She could barely look at him.

"Rachel?" Ross asked, looking confused.

"Hey. I wanted-I don't know."

"I was going to get dinner."

"Oh," Rachel kept looking at the ground. She looked nervous, like she kept wanting to say more. He wondered how she knew Monica was in the hospital? Did she come to visit Monica? He thought of mentioning the time he saw her in Amsterdam but decided not to, all he could think about was Thanksgiving and what she had done. That line she had crossed.

"You know I never told Monica or Chandler what I saw you do to Chandler's car that Thanksgiving."

"Thank you...are you still friends with Chandler?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. His birthday was a couple days ago."

"Cool….this was a mistake, I shouldn't be here. Monica doesn't wanna see me and I have a boyfriend," Rachel said.

"Good for you," Ross said. She was acting so strangely, so very bizarre. It was like she had no clue how to even act around him now. Rachel immediately turned and began to walk back towards her car. Ross followed her. He wasn't done, he wanted to talk to her. The faster she walked, the faster he followed.

"Where are you going? Why are you following me?"

"You wanna have dinner with me?" Ross asked, although he was pretty sure that was a dumb question.

"No. No, no...I don't….I can't...okay, this was wrong and you know, my favorite movie is Terms of Endearment and leave me alone and don't tell Monica I was here," Rachel said as she reached her car and got inside. She locked the doors and Ross tried to open the door, he kept tapping on the windows but Rachel was not letting him in. Why was she acting so strangely? She started her car and soon he stepped out of the way to let her leave. He wasn't sure what to make of that interaction, if he should tell Monica or Chandler? He decided not to tell anyone, he figured it would crush Monica if he knew Rachel was here and left so he wouldn't say a word and if he ever saw Rachel again, he would mention it to her. Instead, he went off to get dinner and return to the hospital where Monica was resting. Chandler was sitting in a chair, reading.

"Where are our parents?" Ross asked.

"I sent them to their hotel. They were driving me nuts. Mom kept picking at me and….it's driving me crazy," Monica said.

"Well, they do love you despite your beliefs. Mom is worried, so is Dad. So am I."

"Awww, what must it be like to have parents who love you," Chandler mused as he closed his book and walked towards the bed.

"Shut up," Monica said, "I'm fine, Ross. I really am. I promise I-I won't...I mean, you need me...I keep you from killing him," she pointed at Chandler.

"Hey," Chandler said.

"It is true," Ross said.

"You are a jackass," Monica said. "I'm Team Lizzie."

"Me too," Ross teased.

"She dumped me," Chandler said.

"What took her so long?" Monica said.

"I've asked myself that a lot," Ross said.

"You two suck as humans," Chandler retorted.

Monica and Ross laughed as Chandler pretended to be upset with them. He soon put the interaction with Rachel out of his mind. It no longer mattered. She was officially gone and it was now Chandler as the only one they needed to continue taking care of.


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Hater-Troll Person,

Sorry, you didn't leave your name so I wasn't sure what to call you. Hopefully, I was close. First of all, thank you so much for saying that you know you were being rude. It's like people who say, "I don't mean to be rude but…." and then they're rude. Thank you! Second of all, four and half stories in, I'm pretty sure it is blatantly obvious that my favorite Friends are Chandler and Rachel. I really haven't been subtle about it. So yes, you're totally right….it's blatantly obvious. I also enjoy writing Rachel and Chandler so because of that, I do fit them in whenever I can. Also, since Ross and Chandler are roommates and sharing one small room, their lives are going to be intertwined especially if one of them is struggling with addiction. Right now, Ross life is enmeshed with Chandler's because of their friendship, their current living situation and the fact that Ross cares deeply about him.

Another note, you are also completely right about me adding and/or faking stories like people calling Carol a lesbian already. I also completely faked the Joey-mafia story lines as well and faked many of the story lines, I did this because then I would have very little to write about. For Joey and Ross, I have very little idea as to what to write about so I'm throwing stuff out there where there is tons of stuff to write about for the other four, those two do not have the most exciting of stories. This is why I gave Joey a mafia tie-in, so I would have something to add. As for Ross, in the beginning he is very tied into Rachel, Chandler, and even Monica. Unlike the others, I see Ross' spiral as having begun AFTER his divorce from Carol and that leading up to it, his life was pretty mundane. Ross is actually a very difficult character to write and I'm trying to find storylines for him that will still fit into the character, but if you think you can come up with better stories, be my guest. The total number of words in all of these stories is approximately 900,000 words so far...so if you can think of some ideas that don't sound forced, let me know.

Also, if you want to hate on anything, it should probably be my lack of editing. I read through it once and don't always pick up everything the first read through. I should probably do more of that…and, by the way, you probably don't want to read this chapter. It basically follows all the stuff you hate.

For the rest of you, thank you for the reviews...

May 1990-October 1990

It was an adventure and a half. A cross-country road trip with Chandler, Gandalf, and Kip. Of course, he hated being near Gandalf and Kip but taking Sally across the United States was pretty thrilling. He did find it funny that Chandler refused to let any of them drive or touch the front seat of the car. It was a nice reprieve from having to drive three drunk guys everywhere. He loved seeing the country from the passenger's seat of a Corvette. He made sure to mail Carol a gift from every city they were in and he also noticed Chandler sending Monica postcard from every city. He did it secretly, though as if he didn't want Ross or anyone to know. So Ross didn't call him out on it, letting it remain a secret.

He loved being outside New York, seeing the rest of the country. It felt so strange seeing countrysides and mountains and long stretches of road with nothing. He wanted to try every possible thing, deep dish pizza in Chicago, barbecue in Texas, fried anything, everywhere. He even attempted street food. Tacos from the back of a truck. He had ten as they got closer to Disneyland, he began feeling it. Chandler was thrilled about Disneyland. If he had been a little more alert, Ross would have joined in on making fun of Chandler's excitement about Disneyland. Once they had arrived California, Ross had wanted to visit Hollywood, maybe to hike up to the sign. He wanted to do a tour of Stars Homes and also see if they could find somewhere they could try panning for gold, but it was Disneyland that was the first stop. He had been to Disneyland once when he was six and Monica was five. He remembered it being fun and Monica wanting to eat everything.

"Wow, we're here," Chandler said as they pulled into a spot next to a post that had a picture of Dopey on it.

"I can't believe you're this excited about Disneyland," Kip said.

"I can't believe you're not. I mean, screw the Grand Canyon and all that other landmark crap...this is what I wanted to see," Chandler said.

"How have you never been?" Kip asked.

"I don't have parents that love me," Chandler stressed.

"Says the man in the Corvette his parents paid for," Ross said.

"Don't say things like that," Chandler said.

"I heard there's an underground Disney thing where you can get booze. We gotta find that," Gandalf said.

"That would be cool...but Ross would have to stay in the car," Kip said.

"I love that you constantly have to bring up that I'm not twenty-one yet. That never gets old," Ross groaned. It was truly obnoxious.

"Oh, it's okay man...when we're thirty, you'll still be twenty-nine. So the tables will have turned and you can make fun of us," Chandler grinned, patting Ross on the back.

"If we're still friends by then," Gandalf muttered, a little too loudly.

"Wow...thanks," Ross said.

"Why wouldn't be friends by then? I plan on still being friends with each one of you when we're thirty," Chandler said. "Alright, can we go, no fighting...I wanna try and get Snow White's phone number. Wait, do you think Snow White would have a phone in her castle?"

"Snow White would never go for you," Gandalf said.

"Snow White would totally go for me...at least I think she would. Well, she would at least give me one date before she rejected me. She has to...she works at the Happiest Place on Earth and her doing me would certainly make the park live up to its name," Chandler said.

"You just like Snow White 'cause she looks like Ross' little sister," Kip said.

"I do not," Chandler said.

"Wait...what?" Ross asked.

"Chan Man has a hard on for your little sister," Kip said.

"I do not, shut up," Chandler said.

"You've sent her a postcard from every city we've been in," Kip teased.

"With a recipe included because she's studying to be a chef. I'm learning to care about others, dammit. Now can we please make this day awesome for me," Chandler said.

"You like Monica?" Ross asked, playing dumb. He knew this but he really did not want to bring it up.

"No...no...I-I'm...I'm being a friend. Like...on the _Golden Girls._ You know, 'cause like if she ever threw party and invited everyone she knew, then the biggest gift it would be from me and the card attached would say...thank you for being a friend and here's a recipe for beef stew-" Chandler said.

"You watch _Golden Girls_?" Kip asked.

"Yes, I do. You got a problem with that?" Chandler said.

"Wait...back up...you like my sister?" Ross asked, still playing dumb. He kinda wished Kip and Gandalf would stop bringing it up.

"Well, it doesn't matter really what I think. Monica made it quite clear that if I were the last man on Earth, she'd probably turn into a lesbian just to avoid going out with me," Chandler said.

"She said that?" Ross asked.

"I'm paraphrasing...but yes," Chandler said.

"That's why you need to hook up with Snow White," Gandalf said.

"Exactly. Can we go?" Chandler said.

As they got out of the car, Ross began feeling a little sick. Those tacos were starting to hit him and not in a good way.

"You alright, man? You look a little green?" Chandler asked.

"I'm fine...I just...I don't know...maybe I shouldn't have had that last taco," Ross said.

"Well, you ate ten of them," Chandler teased, "and...I told you, never trust food that some dude makes out of the back of his truck."

"They looked alright," Ross said.

"Ross, you look like crap," Gandalf said.

"Even more than usual," Kip said.

"You're so kind," Ross said.

"Chan Chan man, you're sitting next to him," Kip said.

"Fine, I'll sit next to him. But Ross, if you blow...you're running alongside Sally, the entire way back to New York," Chandler said.

"Come on, let's go," Ross said, not wanting to discuss this although his stomach was grumbling. He felt really sick but he didn't want to say anything but as they stood in line for Space Mountain, it was becoming more and more obvious.

"Dude, are you sure you don't wanna sit this one out?" Chandler asked.

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine," Ross said.

"You don't look fine," Chandler said.

"Oh, oh...there's Snow White," Kip said, patting Chandler on the back. Ross was barely listening, trying desperately to hold in. Every part of him felt sick and on the verge of dying. He wasn't paying attention as Chandler left the group. Kip and Gandalf were talking about something as Chandler was apparently hitting on Snow White. Soon Chandler rejoined them and he was being teased by Kip and Gandalf about being rejected by Snow White. It didn't matter. Ross felt like his insides were churning. He could not sit out. He could not leave the group. They'd make fun of him more. They had been ridiculing him the entire trip, he'd have to hold it in.

He'd have to….

But he couldn't.

He was sitting with Chandler on Space Mountain and trying so hard but suddenly, it let loose. He hoped no one would hear, no would pay attention but soon Chandler turned and looked at him.

"What did you just do?" Chandler asked.

"Um..."

"You just crapped your pants, didn't you?" Chandler asked.

"No."

"Oh...oh...gross, Ross."

Chandler cringed, trying to move as far as he could away from Ross, but there wasn't much room for him to move. Ross could feel himself burning, tears began filling his eyes. There was no way out of this. No way to escape this. After the ride, Chandler jumped out of his seat and stared at Ross.

"Dude, what happened?" Kip asked.

"Oh, shit...what the hell did you do man?" Gandalf said.

Ross who remained frozen, sitting in his seat. He stared straight ahead and refused to get up, despite the flurry of activity around him. There were people trying to clean up and he remained frozen. He could not do this. He needed to go home, he had to get up which made it more obvious.

"Oh, dude we gotta lay out papers for you. You crapped all over Space Mountain," Gandalf laughed.

"I-I wanna go home. I'm gonna..." Ross said and before he could finish the sentence, he bolted out of the ride and out of the park. He would take a cab to LAX or where ever the closest airport was and he would go the hell home. He had made too much of a mess. Literally. As he reached Sally, he pulled on the handle before realizing it was locked. Soon Chandler walked towards him, concerned.

"Hey, Ross."

"I'm...I'm going home. Open your car so I can change and then...I'm taking a cab to LAX. I'm not staying."

"Come on, stay. It's-"

"Look, Gandalf and Kip are your friends, they aren't mine. I've just been tagging along and now...no, no...I can't stay here and listen to whatever the hell they're gonna say to me."

"I told them to lay off you."

"You think they'll listen?" Ross asked.

"I embarrass myself constantly. I exposed myself on the Statue of Liberty...I got rejected by Snow White, come on...my entire childhood," Chandler grinned.

"Open your car please," Ross said.

Chandler did as told and proceeded to open the the trunk. Ross went around back and grabbed his bag. He opened it and grabbed a pair of jeans and a clean pair of boxers. He walked around towards the backseat when Chandler stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa...where are you going?" Chandler asked.

"Changing. Chandler, I'm not going back in the park to change. Let me in your car...please."

"Okay...okay...but we're throwing out your pants," Chandler said as Ross got in the backseat to change and soon reappeared in a clean pair of pants.

"Thank you...and please, do not tell anyone about this. Never tell my sister."

"I won't."

"And-and never tell Rachel either."

"When was the last time you talked to Rachel?" Chandler asked.

"Doesn't matter."

"Okay...well, I will never mention it to Rachel if we ever run into her again because that would mean I'd have to have a conversation with her."

"You know, she's not that bad," Ross said. "And wait...do you like my sister?"

He still would not tell Chandler he knew about the postcards, he would still play dumb. He had a feeling Monica was liking Chandler as well.

"No. No...she's nice, but I'm not her type."

"But-"

"I'd have better luck hitting on Snow White again," Chandler said.

"Alright...but you know, Chandler...if something ever did happen between you and my sister, I definitely think you'd be the best guy out there for her," Ross said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah," Ross said, truthfully. Something about Chandler and Monica worked in his mind, he wasn't sure what it was but he could imagine it.

"Wow. Thank you," Chandler said. "Shall we go back?"

Ross nodded as the two walked back towards the entrance of the park. It took some convincing but they were allowed back in the park and soon met up with Kip and Gandalf.

"Hey, look...it's Pooper Scooper," Gandalf grinned.

"Guys, you promised you'd lay off him," Chandler said.

"I'm going back to the car," Ross said.

"No...come on, we're at Disneyland. Let's forget this happened...and move on. Okay, please. Look, I wanna enjoy the rest of today. I've never been here. Make fun of me if you want... Maybe I can try to get rejected by another Disney Princess," Chandler said. Ross reluctantly followed them, really wanting to just go home.

Once home, he immediately went to find Carol. They met up and reunited in her apartment and lying there, he confided in her. He told her the embarrassment and to his amazement, she did not make fun of him.

"Well, that's humiliating," Carol mused.

"You think. I gave them more ammunition," Ross said.

"I can't believe you went the entire summer with those bozos."

"I'm a saint."

"You know, we're gonna be seniors."

"We are," Ross said.

"So….what do you say about staying here more."

"Living here? I'm still in the dorms."

"Yeah but you can….stay here more and maybe we could do our own Disneyland?"

"I'd like that 'cause I left it pretty crappy. Carol, can I ask you something? We are seniors."

"Yeah?"

"Well...I've-I mean you're my first girlfriend. At least my first real world one, in my head I've dated Wonder Woman for years-"

"And Two Face. You dated Two Face."

"Oh no, I did not. But….would you...not now and maybe we are too young but if after graduation, if I were to ask you to marry me….what would you say?" Ross asked. "Or is that the worst thing to ask?"

"No, no...it's not. Ross, I love you….I would say yes. I wanna stay in New York."

"Me too."

"You really see us getting married?"

"Yeah. I do. I know that sounds so weird but this whole trip, all I could think about was you and how much I missed you."

"I missed you."

"I don't want to go on another trip like that without you."

"Okay….hey, you're twenty first is coming up."

"Atlantic City."

"Right and I will be there…..and I will get you drunk and take advantage," Carol said.

"I can't wait," Ross said as they shared a kiss. He truly loved being with Carol. He wasn't sure the steps of a relationship, if he should have proposed marriage? If he should have said anything but it seemed like she was okay with it.

After meeting up with Carol, he met up with Monica and told her almost everything about the trip. He would not tell her about Disneyland and he hoped Chandler would keep his end of the bargain and not say anything.

"Why do you hang out with them if you hate them?" Monica asked over sushi. He was complaining more about Chandler, Kip and Gandalf.

"'Cause I…'cause Chandler likes them and they're assholes. The guy gets drunk off his ass and-and-I always have to take care of him 'cause no one else will and...and Gandalf and Kip enable him and-and you know Chandler paid for most of their trip."

"They didn't pay their own way?"

"No. Chandler's wealthy so they take advantage of it and the jackass just wants people to like him so he'll happily pay for them," Ross said, shaking his head.

"Well, Kip and Gandalf aside, did you at least have fun? How was Disneyland?" Monica asked.

"Fine."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, Disneyland was overrated. It was fine."

"Oh," Monica said.

"So, how are you? How was your summer?"

"It was fun. Chandler sent me postcards."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"He likes you, Mon."

"I know. I have a boyfriend. Jason. I met him in my cooking class. Don't worry, nothing will happen with Chandler. He's…he's too…broken."

Ross nodded and looked at her, "you know, Mon….if something were to ever happen with Chandler, I'd-I wouldn't be upset."

"Nothing will happen."

"That's a shame 'cause if anyone can fix the broken, it's you," Ross smiled.

"No. No…I don't want that responsibility. Maybe Jason will be the one."

Ross simply smiled as she ate her sushi. His mind kept drifting though and he kept thinking about Carol. Senior year would be different, he would move on. He made his decision. He would be with Carol.

As senior year began, he began to spend more and more time with Carol and less time at the dorms. After all that had happened at Disneyland, he really wanted to just get away from Kip and Gandalf and he really was not in the mood to keep babysitting Chandler. By the time October rolled around and his twenty-first birthday neared, he still wanted to do a trip in Atlantic City. He invited Will who said he'd fly out with his new girlfriend. Jonathan and Sam were also coming and bringing their girlfriends as well. Carol was coming, as was Chandler. Chandler also suggested Kip and Gandalf come which angered him but he decided he would no longer care. This was going to be his birthday weekend and Carol was determined to have him loosen up and he would let himself loosen up and he decided he most certainly would. He had never really let loose. He had gotten drunk on spring break once but actually letting go completely, well that had never happened. He even let Carol and Chandler do the planning. It amazed him slightly when Chandler said he wanted to help plan, his friend never offered to do things for others, but this time he was all for it and one of the first stops was a strip club.

"I can't-I just-" Ross groaned a little bit as he, Carol, Chandler, Jonathan, Sam and Will made themselves comfortable in the VIP area that Chandler had bought for them. He hated that, hated that Chandler was spending his money on him.

"Dude, enjoy," Chandler said as he handed Ross a drink from a waitress who was walking towards their table.

"I can't let you pay for everything," Ross said, taking the drink.

"Yeah you can, don't worry," Chandler said.

"This is so cool. You know, there are a lot of VIP Lounges in Los Angeles. It helps to look like a movie star," Will said, grinning. He had lost a lot of weight since living in Los Angeles. He looked ridiculously handsome now and quite aware of it.

"It's a good thing you're modest," Jonathan teased.

"I know," Will said.

"And as another part of your gift, I told Kip and Gandalf they couldn't play with us tonight," Chandler said.

"I wish they hadn't been invited," Ross said.

"Yeah, they're turds," Carol said.

"They are," Ross said.

"Oh, look….naked ladies," Carol said, pointing to the stage. Ross looked over and sure enough, the show was starting. He could feel Carol grabbing his hand and giving him a kiss. It was pretty awesome that Carol had decided to go with him to see the naked ladies. The other girls in the group had decided to go do other things but Carol stayed with him.

"You know, you didn't have to come tonight. You could've hung out with the other girls, if you wanted," Ross said.

"No, no...I wanted to be with you and this is fun."

"Okay," Ross grinned as he leaned over and kissed her. Carol kept touching him as the hours went on which he appreciated. He found it amazing, felt like the king and he didn't mind drinking.

After the strip club, the group hit the boardwalk and went from one club to the next, dancing and for the first time in a long while, Ross felt free. He was surrounded by friends, his girlfriend and it was everything he could want.

"Dude, here," Chandler said as they left one club. He handed Ross what looked like a joint. He had never smoked pot before and while he was drunk, he wasn't sure he could go that far.

"Is that what I think it is?" Ross asked.

"Yes. It's your birthday. Don't be such a tightass," Chandler grinned as Ross shook his head and lit up. He took a long drag of the joint and handed it back to Chandler who took a drag as well, the joint was passed amongst the group and it was some of the most fun he had in a long time. He laughed a lot. He wasn't sure what he was laughing about but it didn't matter.

"Better time than Disneyland?" Chandler asked as they stumbled down the boardwalk.

"Oh, that was just crappy," Ross said.

"Literally," Chandler grinned.

"Did you really crap on Space Mountain?" Jonathan asked.

Ross cringed, the truth about Disneyland had come out while Chandler and Ross were joking around and getting more and more drunk.

"Science Boy had a problem," Ross said.

"Science Boy was the shit and had to run," Chandler laughed.

"Shut up," Ross said.

"Although, the best was this guy that had to clean it up. He was so pissed and I was so happy," Chandler said.

"He was a tool," Ross said.

"So Geller, you should take out your junk and show Atlantic City," Chandler said.

"That's a weird request. You're a weird man," Ross said.

"Hey, I did it," Chandler said.

"Doesn't make it less weird," Ross said.

"Yeah and according to Lizzie, it wasn't much to write home about," Carol said.

"Oh, burn," Ross said.

"Okay, it was...it you know, I can't even wear shorts."

"Well, you should do something crazy on your birthday, it's your birthday," Carol said.

"There's a lighthouse that would be kinda cool to see," Ross said.

"Would you flash your junk?" Chandler asked.

"Dude, stop saying weird shit," Jonathan said.

"No, then he'll stop speaking altogether although that might not be a bad thing," Ross said.

"Hey, hey….yeah…." Chandler said.

"You okay man, I'm too high to babysit you," Ross said.

"You should start charging," Jonathan said.

"I've said that," Carol said.

"You're mean when you're high," Chandler mumbled.

"Dude, they've got laser tag," Sam said, pointing off towards a building down the pier. The group looked at each other and soon it became obvious what they would be doing. Laser Tag. The group stumbled towards the building and walked in and soon everyone was separated. Ross made it his personal mission to bring down Chandler. It felt good shooting him with lasers.

"You're not even sorry, are you," Chandler said when he was out. Ross grinned.

"Not even a little," Ross said.

"Cruel. That's cruel, man," Chandler said.

Ross laughed as he turned and walked off in search of Carol. He wanted to tell her that he had brought down Chandler. He soon found her talking to another female player whom he didn't know. For some reason, his heart dropped a little as he saw them talking. Carol seemed to be flirting with the girl. Ross cautiously walked over to them.

"Carol?" Ross asked.

"Oh, Ross….this is Paulina Jensen. She goes to NYU. She's here for her for friend's birthday. Everyone is here this weekend," Carol said.

"Yeah," Ross said as he shook Paulina's hand. Paulina was stunning, even in the darkness of the laser tag area, he could tell.

"Happy Birthday, Ross. I'll see you later, Carol," Paulina said, squeezing Carol's arm and walking off. Carol looked at Ross and he could see a hint of excitement in her eyes.

"She seems nice."

"Yeah, how strange."

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?" Carol asked.

"Nothing."

Carol leaned in and soon kissed him. He kissed back. It was dark in the laser tag place and they were safely hidden, but it felt wrong. They were still in public.

"We can't do this here," Ross said.

"Why not? Loosen up, Geller."

Ross nodded as Carol continued kissing him. She gently wrapped his arms around him as they soon fell to the ground. Ross soon pushed the thoughts of how dirty the floor might be out of his mind and let Carol take over. It felt wonderful, the craziness, the bizarreness. He was letting go and letting go with someone he was quite certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.


	15. Chapter 15

I apologize for the delay, a lot has been going on. As college is ending for Ross, his life with Carol will take him out of the group for the most part. So for those who aren't liking how much Ross' life seems to be about Chandler, Monica and Rachel...you're in luck.

March 1991-September 1991

He could be angry. He could be furious that he had not been there to witness his little sister getting drunk off her ass at her twenty first birthday. He had not been included but instead of being upset, he could hardly contain his glee as she sat across from him at a cafe near the loft she was sharing with some friends of hers from culinary school. She could barely look him in the eye as she kept rubbing her temples and he wanted to feel bad. Really. He tried his best to muster up that emotion but he was unable to do that. He watched as she lifted a piece of bacon to her mouth as if she were lifting a boulder. She let out a groan which made him laugh.

"Oh, you're going to have a low key night. Liar," Ross teased. When he had called her to ask what she was doing for her birthday, she said she would just be having a low key get together with Ellie and Laurie and her new boyfriend, Jason.

"Shut up. Don't make me puke on you because I will."

"You're hung over. So awesome," Ross said.

"Screw you."

"It's great. Don't worry, I won't tell our parents."

"Or Chandler. Don't tell Chandler."

"I won't," Ross said, although that confused him. He figured if anyone would want to hear a story about Monica being drunk, it would be Chandler.

"Ross?"

"Yeah."

"Can I…okay, I need to tell someone something and I can't tell Laurie or Ellie and I want to tell you but if you tell Chandler this, I will kill you."

"I won't tell him you're hungover."

"No. Well, don't tell him that but…okay, last night…I was with Jason and I said, out loud, to Jason that I loved….Chandler."

"Oh, that's not good," his eyes widening. He knew Chandler liked Monica but he kept that to himself. Did Monica like Chandler?

"No. I mean, Jason is my boyfriend, I love him. I do and I just chalked it up to being drunk but…and Jason seemed to accept that but….I don't love Chandler."

"Ehhh, you can love him," Ross said. That would be odd though. Chandler and Monica? Although, for as weird as he wanted to feel about it, for some reason it felt like it made sense.

"But I don't want to. It's your fault."

"How is it my fault?"

"You introduced him to our family."

"Sorry."

"You should be," Monica muttered as she drank more of her coffee. Ross laughed as Monica glared at him.

"Well, it would be kinda cool if you two ever did get married. He's already like a brother to me anyway. I'm gonna ask him to be my Best Man."

Ross watched as Monica put her mug of coffee down and watched her reaction. He had been thinking about the end of college lately. A lot about moving on. Rachel was now completely out of his life. According to rumors, he had heard she was dating some guy who was premed. He was applying to grad schools because he wanted to get a PhD in Paleontology. There was a terrific program at the Museum of Natural History and they were going to let him work there as he got his PhD and Carol was going to get her teaching credential at NYU. He wanted to start the next stage. He liked being with her and he wanted to marry her.

"Wait-"

"Well, I think…I'm graduating college in two months and I want to ask Carol to marry me."

"Oh my G-d, are you serious?"

"Yeah and if Chandler's my best man, maybe you two could walk down the aisle together. You know, to prepare for you for when you two do it for real…ow," Ross suddenly grabbed his leg in pain. Monica had kicked him, straight shot to the shin. "Please don't cripple me."

"Are you serious though? You and Carol?"

"Yes. I love her, Mon. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I-this is it."

"Oh my G-d," Monica said, smiling and so was Ross. This could be the next step. He wanted so badly to start living. He wanted a wife, kids, he was ready to move on. He wanted a grown up world. Where he went to work, came home to his wife and just had very boring, normal existence.

It had been the death of Sally had cemented his plan. It was now three weeks before graduation and Chandler was driving. He and Chandler as well as Kip and Gandalf were driving to brunch when Chandler made a turn into a house. Ross was in the passenger's side and saw it happening in almost slow motion. He reached for the steering wheel as Chandler tried to stop but before they knew it, they were parked inside an empty house. They sat in the car in stunned silence when something told Ross he should look up and when he did, he noticed a large chunk of the roof teetering dangerously above them. He, Chandler, Gandalf and Kip vacated just before the chunk fell smashing the car completely. Had the boys still been in the car, the outcome would have been far worse. He would never forget that sound of crushing metal and Chandler's shocked and stunned face.

"I wasn't even drunk," Chandler muttered and Ross could not help but laugh at that. He wasn't even sure it was that funny but there was something about that that just seemed strangely amusing.

"I'm glad…..you killed Sally," Ross said.

"It's…..this is Rachel's fault. It's Rachel's fault. I'm suing her."

Ross laughed, immediately thinking back to when he got Chandler's car fixed. Part of him now wanted his money back.

"How could it possibly be Rachel's fault?" Ross asked.

"I don't know maybe she thought about it and then….I don't know but it's her fault."

"Okay, go ahead...sue her. See what happens."

"I just might. I have money," Chandler said.

Ross shook his head, not sure how to respond. He and Monica had grown up semi-wealthy but he knew Chandler's wealth was at a whole other level. He was even more amazed when Chandler actually called his father later on that day to ask for money for another Corvette. It was a bizarre world his friend lived in.

"I'm having a memorial," Chandler said as he hung up the phone.

"For your car?" Ross asked, from his bed.

"Yes."

"The car you drove into a house?"

"I miss Sally. I loved her. She loved me. Crap. Before, I was the funny guy with the hot car. Now I'm just…..funny."

"Looking."

"Bite me."

"I can't believe you asked your dad to buy you a new Corvette."

"Yeah, well, I earned it. I mean, the emotional trauma that was my childhood? I deserve fifty Corvettes."

"You're a self entitled prick, you know that?" Ross asked.

"Yes, I do….hey, Geller….can I ask you something? Are you really gonna ask Carol to marry you?"

"Yes, I am. Not until we graduate. You'll be my best man."

"Wait...what? Me?"

"Yeah."

"Over Jonathan or Will."

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Hey, they'll be in the wedding but you've….you've kinda become like a brother to me. A weird, fucked up older brother whom I'm constantly convinced is going to wake up one day in a dark alley in a pool of his own vomit."

"Wow….that's like one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me," Chandler mused.

"And besides, you could walk my sister down the aisle. Practice for when you do it for real," Ross grinned. He would never tell Chandler that Monica liked him or that she had said she loved Chandler while in a drunken state but it didn't mean he couldn't have fun.

"That's never gonna happen."

"Yeah. You're probably right."

Ross shook his head as Chandler kept complaining about his car and Ross pretended to listen but really, all he could think about was Carol. That accident made him think. He needed to move fast.

He was shocked to see her in Carol's dorm. He went to pick Carol up so they could join Chandler in his car memorial and to his amazement, Lizzie was sitting on Carol's bed. He had not seen her in so long. He had thought she might have left NYU.

"Liz?"

"Ross, hi," Lizzie said, getting up to hug him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to visit Carol."

"She called and I was like you have to come over," Carol said.

"Well, where have you been? You vanished."

"I did."

"I thought you transferred," Ross said.

"No, I live in an apartment with my sister," Lizzie said.

"Is that where Lauren is?" Carol asked.

"Lauren?" Ross asked.

"Carol," Lizzie said, suddenly.

"Oh, fuck," Carol said.

"What?"

"You're still friends with Chandler and I-"

"I won't tell him," Ross said.

Lizzie let out a sigh, "Lauren is my daughter. The reason I've vanished is because soon after I broke up with Chandler, I found out I was pregnant."

"Is it-"

"It's not his. The father doesn't matter. He disappeared too. He was some actor guy whom I dated….the one I broke up with Chandler for. That didn't go anywhere."

"Lizzie," Ross said.

"It's okay, Ross. I got a job working at a bar and I'm...I'm gonna raise her the best I can. I'm still gonna try to be an actor but….and please whatever you do, never tell Chandler."

"I won't. You know we're going to a memorial tonight," Ross said.

"I told her. I said she should come," Carol said.

"I can't believe he destroyed his car," Lizzie mused.

"Drove the damn thing into a house," Ross said.

"Well, is he okay? Are you and-"

"Yes, yeah, everyone was fine, no one was hurt," Ross said.

"Good….look, I don't think so. My sister is watching Lauren and...and I just….I don't...I bet he'll get super wasted tonight and I just….I don't...I don't-"

"Okay, don't go but you know, I'm your friend. So is Carol."

"That's what I was saying."

"Thanks. I'm sorry I disappeared….I just...I...maybe I'll introduce you to Lauren. She's a very sweet baby."

"I'm sure she is. Although, can I ask why you don't want me telling Chandler? If you're sure it's not his and-"

"Because he'll freak out and….and I know he'll wanna do something. Yeah, he's an ass but he's got a heart, right? And he'll want to do something, I know he will."

"Yeah….it's why we keep putting up with him...and he's funny," Ross said.

"I'll see you at graduation," Lizzie said as she leaned into hug him.

"Okay, but keep in touch," Ross said.

"I will," Lizzie said, before hugging Carol and walking out the door. He turned and looked at Carol, stunned.

"She has a kid," Ross said.

"Yep. We can't tell Chandler. She kept saying how we can't tell him. We can't."

"We won't. Although, the dad….wow, what an ass?" Ross asked.

"Totally. So are you ready to go mourn a car?" Carol asked as she grabbed her purse and linked her arm in Ross' before they left for the evening to mourn the loss of the Corvette. Chandler was already drinking when he and Carol arrived. They walked over to him and ordered drinks of their own.

"You alright, man?" Ross asked.

"I don't know," Chandler said.

"It's a car. You live in New York. Get over it," Carol said as Ross paid for their drinks. She did have a point. She did seem to be in a snippy mood.

"Wow, you are being really insensitive. Ross, talk to her," Chandler said.

"Well, it is just a car and you're forgetting the fact that all four of us just survived a major car accident. A piece of roof was inches away from smashing and killing all of us. Thank G-d the car was the only thing that was damaged. All jokes aside, we could have all died," Ross said.

"Hmmm," Chandler groaned as he drank more. Ross shook his head as Carol pointed towards Monica walking in with her friends, Courtney, Lisa and Jennie. Carol and Ross grabbed their drinks and walked towards them.

"You're here for the funeral?" Ross asked.

"Of course," Monica said.

"How are you doing?" Carol asked.

Monica let out a sigh. She and her boyfriend, Jason, the one whom she had confessed her love of Chandler to had recently broken up.

"I'm alright. Jason wasn't the one," Monica said.

"We are gonna drink our troubles away tonight," Jennie said.

"And we can get a ride home with Cha-oh, wait no...we can't," Courtney said.

"No jokes like that in front of him girls," Carol said.

"You know, I'm gonna go check on him though. I don't like that he's drinking alone and….yeah, I'm gonna make sure he's okay," Monica said before walking off towards Chandler.

"Your sister loves him," Jennie said.

"Yeah, I know."

"She doesn't-she wants to save him," Courtney said.

"You know what, let's not talk about Chandler," Carol said. "We always talk about Chandler. No one can mention his name."

"But we're here for him," Ross said.

"It's a fucking car. He drove his fucking car into a house causing thousands of dollars of damage and he has no clue or doesn't care how close he was to killing himself, you, Kip and Gandalf. A piece of roof smashed the damn thing into pieces, what if none of you had looked up? What if you hadn't gotten out of the car in time? We'd be having a funeral for four guys three weeks away from graduating college and not a goddamn car. Why the fuck is he your friend 'cause he sure as hell isn't mine," Carol said.

Ross let that sink in. He had never seen Carol that angry and he could not find it in him to argue against it. She was right. He remembered Lizzie earlier in the evening, Carol comforting her. Chandler kept making messes and he kept cleaning them up. Maybe he was done. He looked over at Monica who was comforting him. If she wanted to take over comforting him then he'd let her. He was finished.

That night was about himself and Carol. They drank, more and more. She was right, he had cheated death. The drunker they got, the more they made out, the more excited they got with each other and soon, they found themselves back in Carol's room but they weren't alone. He wasn't sure how it happened or what words were exchanged but Monica's friend, Lisa, was with them. The heat took over and soon Ross gave into whatever he was feeling. He let them take control of him and watched as they took control of each other.

It would be a moment he would not soon forget. A memory he would keep on his own. He couldn't tell Chandler and it would belong to him and Carol…..and Lisa...who left the next morning, leaving him still holding Carol.

"That was amazing," Ross said as he kissed her.

"It was."

"You and Lisa got into it," Ross said, "that was fun to watch."

"Yeah...look I wanted to say, I'm sorry about what I said about Chandler."

"No, you're right. Look, we're done with school in three weeks. I don't have to take care of him anymore. I'm free."

"You are….you can still be his friend but...that accident was pretty serious from what you told me," Carol said.

"It was. It actually really was."

"And...I don't like he's...he's more concerned about his car and he hasn't apologized to you for putting you in danger. I know it was an accident but still..."

"Yeah. No, I think you're right."

"I don't like him," Carol said. "I don't. I hate how treated Lizzie. I hate how he treats you. I don't care that he's funny. He's a self absorbed, self entitled ass who thinks everyone owes him something. We've all had shit. We're all struggling."

"What are you struggling with?" Ross asked.

"I'm not talking about me."

"Then let's not talk," Ross said as he leaned into kiss her again. They once again found themselves absorbed in one another, ready to breathe each other in. He was falling for this girl, he had fallen and now he needed to make the next step….with her.

He had found the most amazing apartment. It was about 10 minutes from his grandmother's old apartment which was now going to be Monica's place. It was in a fantastic area, right in the middle of the city. He was never going to return to suburbia, he would live out his days in the city with Carol by his side.

He could not wait to show her the apartment. He wasn't sure how to reveal it to her so he waited for her to come out of class and without saying a word took her to the place. It was small with one bedroom and a closet. A perfect starter apartment.

"It's amazing, isn't it," Ross said as he took her through the place about a week after the car funeral. "It is expensive but my parents felt guilty because Monica is getting my Nana's apartment and they wanted to help but this ten minutes from the apartment. Don't you love it?"

"Yeah, I do but-but don't think we're too young? I mean we haven't even graduated college yet and-"

"We're graduating in a week."

"I know but then grad school. I need to get my Masters in Education which takes about a year and then I have another year or two to get my credential and you're getting a PhD. You're gonna be in school until you're at least twenty seven, twenty eight."

"Well, we aren't having kids now. We can wait on that but….I don't care that we're barely into our twenties. I want this Carol. I want you and want forever. You and me."

"Okay…..it is a great place. I do like Monica's apartment, though."

"This is better. So much better. This is gonna be our starter home. We'll get our degrees together."

"Elementary Education and a PhD in dinosaurs?"

"They practically go hand in hand," Ross grinned as he grabbed her hand and led her towards a window. They looked out onto a bar called, Jack Dempsey's.

"That bar looks kind of fun."

"And it's across the street. How convenient."

"That adult boutique over there looks kinda fun too."

"I know. That's good too," Ross said, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. "What do you say?"

Carol turned and looked at him. She nodded and kissed him.

"Yeah, yes, Ross. It's a great area. I wanna do this. I love you."

"I love you too."

They shared another kiss before walking out of the place and out into the New York sunshine. Graduation was speeding forward and so was his life. He was officially becoming an adult.

He had planned the marriage proposal so perfectly. Soon after graduation, he decided the top of the Empire State Building. He invited his parents and her parents who were in town for graduation, he invited Monica, Monica's friends, Ellie and Laurie. There was also Lizzie and Will and Jonathan. He had invited Chandler too but hadn't heard a word from him. When he and Carol stepped off the elevator to the top of the Empire State Building, she was shocked to see everyone there. It was exactly what he wanted as he knelt down and proposed marriage.

"Oh my G-d, Ross," Carol said as he opened the box and slid the diamond ring onto her finger. Their friends and family applauded as the two kissed and she accepted his proposal.

"I can't believe my only baby is getting married," Judy cooed, hugging Ross.

"Hi, mom," Monica said.

"What, you're not getting married?" Judy asked.

"I-I-I-" Monica said.

"Drink?" Laurie asked, appearing next to her with a glass of champagne.

"Oh, thank G-d," Monica said, taking it and walking off with Laurie.

Ross laughed as the celebrations continued. He loved watching Carol talk with Monica, Ellie and Laurie and loved watching her show off the ring.

"Ross?"

Ross turned and saw Lizzie standing next to her. He was stunned she had made it and quite happy she did.

"Hey, you're here. Where's Lauren?" Ross asked.

"She's too little. She's with my sister, she just turned a year old. I have pictures," Lizzie said as she reached into her purse and pulled out some pictures of Lauren. She was very sweet looking with black hair and blue eyes.

"She's so cute. She looks a lot you."

"Thanks and she also looks like her dad but we won't talk about that. Where's Chandler?" Lizzie asked.

"I actually don't know."

"Did you invite him?"

"Of course. He didn't show up."

"Really?"

"He's still my best man," Ross said.

"Whoa," Jonathan said overhearing that as he and Will suddenly appeared on either side of him.

"Chandler's your best man?" Will asked.

"That's bull shit," Jonathan said.

"Look, I want him to my best man. It is what it is. You guys will still have major roles in the wedding-"

"Maybe I can kill off Science Boy," Jonathan said.

"Science Boy in indestructible," Ross said.

He would stick to his word. Chandler would be his best man, regardless. Yes, it did hurt that he never showed up to the proposal. He really had been hoping he would do that, but he figured he'd give Chandler some space. Or not.

After the proposal, Carol and Ross fell into a routine. It was a busy summer with planning a wedding and getting ready for grad school. Carol got an emergency teaching credential and began working as a Teacher's Assistant at a local school, she was helping students who were in summer school. Ross began to work at the Museum of Natural History as an assistant as well. He did not give up on his friend though, even though all calls went unanswered. Soon summer became fall and around September, he and Monica decided to pay Chandler a visit at least to see if the guy was still alive and indeed he was, sitting in the movie theater of his house watching movies.

"So, is this your life plan?" Monica asked as they approached him. Chandler seemed stunned to see them there.

"Yeah, why have you not returned any of my calls?" Ross asked.

"I've been busy," Chandler said.

"Doing what?" Ross asked.

"Important things," Chandler said.

"Well, first...you never gave me an answer," Ross said.

"To what?" Chandler asked.

"Are you gonna be my best man or not?" Ross asked. It had been four months, but he was not going to give up.

"I don't-"

"You're my best man. You're my best friend...and you need to get a job," Ross said.

"You do need to get a job," Monica said. "Look, this...you're twenty two. Time to grow up."

"Leave me alone," Chandler said.

"No...you know what...you complain to me how you're all alone well, you're making it so you're all alone. Get off your ass and do something," Monica said.

"Fine, I'll be your best man, Ross" Chandler said.

"And will you come over for dinner tonight?" Monica asked.

"I can't," Chandler said.

"Come over for dinner...see the new place. It's apartment 20 on Bedford," Monica said.

While Chandler did agree to it, Ross wasn't quite sure that was the best move. In the months that Chandler had distanced themselves from the rest of them, Monica had grown close to Kip which he hated. He hated Kip going after Monica and he really did not like the idea of Monica and Kip together.

"You should have told him," Ross said as he and Monica took a cab back to the city.

"About what?" Monica asked.

"About you and Kip. It's not fair. You can't let him walk into that."

"I'm not dating Chandler. He's not my ex. Why do I have to say anything? I'm not in love with Chandler. He's just a guy, he's a friend and he's…..I don't know what the hell he's doing. Look, I liked Jason and I like Kip. I like how he makes me feel. I don't want to be with Chandler. He's broken and….he doesn't leave his house. I just….don't like him like that and he doesn't like me like that."

"You know that's not true and it's kind of fucked up that you're dating Kip."

"I can date whomever I want."

"You can, but Kip? That's gonna kill him."

"Then he should grow a pair and you should think about getting another best man."

"Nope."

"He didn't show up to the proposal. Don't you get it? He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about me. He cares about himself. I don't even know why we had to come get him."

"He will be at my wedding."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He's not an asshole…..but what Kip's doing? Dick move."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Ross nodded. That night at Monica's apartment, Ross noticed Kip kept touching Monica. He kept placing his arm around her and would up it every time he was certain Chandler was paying attention. After dinner, Chandler quickly made an exit without saying goodbye to anyone. It had been an uncomfortable dinner and he tried calling Chandler after but got no answer.

The next day, he saw Kip at the bar under Monica's place. He grabbed a beer and sat next to him. They were done with college now, he no longer had to be friendly with Kip.

"By the way, dick move last night," Ross said sitting next to him.

"What?" Kip asked.

"You're not interested in my sister, you're interested in pissing off Chandler. Dick move, buddy."

"I'm not your buddy," Kip said.

"Feeling is mutual. Do you really like my sister?"

"Yes."

"You know how Chandler feels about her."

"He missed his chance. You know, college is over. We don't have to be his friend. Let him drink himself into a coma, who will care? I still think it's pathetic you think he'll be your best man."

"Yeah, I'm the one that's pathetic," Ross said as he downed the rest of his beer and walked out backed towards the home he now shared with Carol. Maybe this was another sign. If Monica was going to date Kip, then he would officially call it an end. He would not give up on Chandler, but he would distance himself from all the drama on Bedford Street. At least when Kip was around...


	16. Chapter 16

**September 1991-May 1992**

Grad school took up a lot of time. Monica took care of wedding planning as both him and Carol spent their days at school and work and then came home to study and write papers. Monica was in charge of vendors and invitations and planning everything. The wedding was going to be in May. She had booked an amazing venue and everything was going perfectly with the exception of one person. Chandler. He had seemingly vanished. He didn't show up to Carol and Ross' engagement party. He did not return anyone's phone calls but despite Carol and Monica's pleas, Ross refused to give up on his old friend. Chandler would remain his best man.

And before anyone knew it, 1991 became 1992 and it was now April. The wedding was in a month. No one had heard from Chandler in seven months. He had not even RSVPed yet to the wedding but it didn't matter to Ross. Even though he knew his belief in Chandler was pissing Monica off.

"You need another best man," Monica said, anger dripping from her voice. Ross gave Monica a slight grin and shook his head. Ross, Monica and Kip were sitting at the table in Monica's apartment. He was sipping a soda as Monica was furiously going through the wedding notebook.

"No. Chandler will be at my wedding and he will be my best man," Ross said.

"Dude, you're an idiot," Kip said.

"He will be there," Ross said.

"He hasn't spoken to us in seven months. He hasn't RSVPed for anything. We don't even know if he's living in New York," Monica said.

"Or living, period," Kip said as he took a sip of the soda he had in front of him.

Ross glared at him. He hated Kip. He knew the reason Chandler was not RSVPing was because Kip and Monica would be there as a couple. He wasn't going to say anything though.

"Kip," Monica said.

Ross took a deep breath and looked at both of them, "Chandler is still living in New York, emphasis on living and he will be the best man at my wedding."

"How are you so sure?" Monica asked.

"'Cause he's not an asshole," Ross said.

"I don't know, he is definitely pulling some asshole moves," Kip said.

"It's been seven months."

"Yeah, Mon he will be there."

Monica let out an annoyed sigh, Ross simply shrugged. He knew the wedding would be fine. It would work out happily. Chandler would come through. He just knew his friend would and as soon as he got back to the apartment, he picked up the phone to call Chandler, again and not surprisingly, he got Chandler's answering machine. He did wonder if Chandler was even getting the messages. He has left so many of them. When he hung up, Carol and Lizzie walked in with an almost two year old Lauren in her arms. That was another thing he had not told Chandler or anyone really about. Lizzie was still in his life. He had met Lauren a bunch of times and he and Carol had discussed Lauren being a flower girl and Lizzie might be a bridesmaid, but Lizzie kept waffling on it so he had not told Monica.

"Can you tell Liz she needs to be at our wedding? Also Lauren would be so precious as a flower girl," Carol said, picking up Lauren from Lizzie's arms and holding her. "Lauren, you wanna snack?"

"Yeah," Lauren said, clapping.

"No sweets, she'll be bouncing off the walls," Lizzie said.

"Okay, no problem…..I'll get you milk and cookies," Carol cooed as she walked with Lauren towards the kitchen.

"Future educator, ladies and gentlemen," Lizzie said.

"Wait, you're still not sure if you're coming to the wedding?" Ross asked.

"I won't go if Chandler is there," Lizzie said.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"He's probably not coming anyway, we haven't heard from in seven months," Carol yelled from the kitchen.

"You haven't heard from him in seven months?" Lizzie asked.

"No, but he's coming," Ross said.

"Give it up, Ross," Carol said as she broke a cookie apart for Lauren. She reached her hand out and Lizzie handed her a sippy cup to give Lauren some milk. Ross let out an annoyed sigh.

"He is coming to the wedding."

"Is he still...you know what, no, no I'm done. I'm not going if he's there," Lizzie said.

"He's not going to be there," Carol said.

"He will be there and it's been almost three years," Ross said.

"Yeah, and I'm still in therapy. Between dealing with being screwed over by Lauren's dad and then Chandler….I'll be in therapy forever. Seriously. I lost myself in that relationship. I became someone I hated and...I mean, I yelled at your sister, blamed her for causing Chandler to become an addict and then asked about her bulimia. Who does that?" Lizzie asked.

"Crazy people," Carol said.

"Exactly and I'm sure your sister will be thrilled I won't be at the wedding," Lizzie said.

"I haven't told her I keep in touch with you," Ross said.

"You haven't? Carol?"

"I don't really give a crap about the planning so I've let Monica take complete control and she's gonna tell me where I have to be," Carol said. "But that being said, you need to let it go, Ross."

"He is going to be there and I'm sorry but I want you there too, Liz," Ross said.

"I refuse to be in the same room with him. I'm sorry. I just….I can't. Being near him is too hard and...I fell for him. I really thought I was going to marry that man but I can't….because if he does show up, he'll get drunk at your wedding, right? Carol said Monica is dating Kip which is kind of effed up and..well, then I'm going to end up taking care of him and I'll get sucked into the vortex of Chandler and maybe I being the worst person in the world but I can't. He's like a drug to me."

"You really refuse to ever be in the same room with him? Ever?" Ross asked.

"Ever. It is…..I care him way too much and he still is convinced there's no problem and…..I mean, he really has vanished?"

"Yeah, no one has heard from him," Ross said.

"See, he doesn't care, Ross," Lizzie said, "All I'm thinking is he's probably sitting in his theater, bombed out of his mind alone and all I want to do is run to him and make sure he's okay. I can't stand by and watch as he kills himself. I like him too much so I can't be near him 'cause it's just too hard."

"Okay, but he's not coming," Carol said.

"He will be there," Ross said.

"I am so sick of this. I want my friend there and I want Lauren to be the flower girl, they will be there. Chandler does not want to be friends with you anymore, let is go. He has flaked out on everything. He wasn't at the engagement party, he wasn't there when you proposed. Our wedding is in a month. He hasn't even RSVPed to it. Have you had your bachelor party yet, do you know where it'll be? Monica planned my bachelorette party three months ago. The friendship is over," Carol said.

"It's not over," Ross said.

"Why are you holding on so tightly?" Carol asked.

"'Cause…..he's one of my only friends and the guy really has no one and if he is getting bombed alone in his house...I'm not ready to give up yet," Ross said.

"You're being ridiculous," Carol said.

"I'm not," Ross said.

"You really are and wait, I'm the bride. What if I don't want him at the wedding because Lizzie is right. He'll probably gonna get super wasted and then the attention will turn to taking care of him. It's our wedding, it's not about him. It's about you and me. I don't want him there."

"He's my best man, Carol. That's it," Ross said. "If he gets wasted, I'll take care of him or Monica or someone else...but I want him there and I believe he will be there. Missing an engagement party or a proposal, that's one thing. He's not gonna miss this."

He knew Carol was getting pissed at him about this. He knew Chandler coming would mean that Lizzie would not but he just knew Chandler would pull through. He refused to give up on his friend, simply refused although despite this refusal, it did shock him a little when a few days later, Chandler finally called back.

"Hello?" Ross answered, reaching for the phone. He was studying for a final and was not expecting the voice on the other end.

"Hey...how do you feel about the Pizza Hut?" Chandler asked.

"Chandler...is this you?" Ross asked, grinning. He looked up and noticed Carol lying on the couch, studying. She looked at him.

"Yeah...look...I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've been really busy," Chandler said.

"Sure. I missed you man. You're still my best man, right? You're still coming."

"Yeah."

"Dude...you know, I'm still your friend. Kip is still your friend. Monica is still your friend. You have friends," Ross said.

"I know."

Carol let out a snort and got up off the couch. She walked into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Ross let out a sigh as he turned back to the phone.

"I don't get it," Ross said slowly.

"What don't you get?" Chandler asked.

"For four years, all I heard was how much you hated that house. How your parents screwed you over...how your mom just made you miserable and how you couldn't wait to get out and you did for eight years. High school and college...and now you're back living in the place you so badly wanted to escape from. Have you worked in seven months? Have you gone out on a date? What have you done?"

"Who do you wanna invite to your bachelor party?" Chandler asked.

"Where's it gonna be?" Ross asked, following Chandler's change of topic. Clearly Chandler did not want to discuss anything.

"The basement of the Pizza Hut near NYU," Chandler said.

"Classy."

"I guess."

"I'm counting on you to not let me down, Bing. You're my best friend and I'm not letting you hit the bottom."

"You consider me your best friend?"

"Yes. I mean, I don't have a lot of them...but I'm lucky. I got one," Ross said, although not quite thinking that was true, but he thought it might be the best way to appeal to Chandler.

"Well...you have Kip and Gandalf."

"They're your friends, not mine."

"So I shouldn't invite them."

"No, invite 'em...and I'll invite some guys from work but know the only real friend that I'm gonna have there is you," Ross said, he was lying but he knew saying those words would get him to come. Making it about Chandler, making it that he needed Chandler, that would get him to come. After hanging up with Chandler, he walked into his bedroom where Carol was reading from a textbook.

"So Lizzie won't come," Carol said, looking up.

"Yeah, look-"

"Why is this friendship so important to you? You have Will and Jonathan and me and Liz and….why is that friendship so important to you? He's not a good friend. I don't like him. He's going to be drunk at our wedding."

"I-I don't know why I need this friendship and maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe you're right, he might not show up and if he does then maybe he will get drunk but I am not ready to give up yet, I feel….there's a reason….I don't know. Just trust me, okay?" Ross asked as he crawled on to the bed.

"I trust you," Carol said as Ross leaned into kiss her.

"At the end of the day, it's still about you and me. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you."

"I love you too and hey, first year of grad school done."

"Ugh," Ross groaned. "You're almost done, I got six more years left. What the hell was I thinking?"

"That you like dinosaurs more than most people."

"Yeah, that is what I was thinking," Ross said as he kissed Carol and took her book away from her. Carol kissed back. As he slowly moved his hands up under her shirt, Carol suddenly gasped and reached for his hand.

"You know Ross….um, I have to study."

"So do I. Study break?" Ross asked.

"I really have to study."

"I understand...but...it's been three months."

"I know, I know but...you know what, let's wait for the wedding night. It'll make it more special."

Ross let out a sigh and backed up a little. He nodded although it made him a little sad. The last time they had sex was in February, Valentine's Day. He didn't remember making a pact to not have sex before their wedding and it seemed like something he would remember.

"Okay…okay, it's that what you want?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just...I'm...studying, it's a lot of work, grad school."

"That it is," Ross said as he got off the bed and walked out into the living room. He had no desire to read about bones. He did kind of want to call Chandler again, he thought Chandler might make enough jokes to Ross about maybe studying bones while not getting boners and that it would cheer him up. He reached for the phone and dialed his number. It went straight to the machine. There was no way Chandler was not home, but he wasn't going to leave a message. Instead, he called up Jonathan who lived close by and the two met up at a karate studio to work out. He had been doing that a lot lately, working out. It seemed to be the only thing to release his tensions.

"So dude, what's the deal?" Jonathan asked after the karate session. They were sitting side by side, cooling off.

"What?" Ross asked.

"We've been here twenty times in the last month and a half."

"She won't give it up," Ross said. "I would have liked to have known that she wanted to not have sex before the wedding. A little memo, a potted plant….fruit basket."

"Why doesn't she want to have sex?"

"I don't know. She's studying. Grad school is a lot of work and finals are right around the corner and then the wedding, she's pissed that I'm still friends with Chandler and Lizzie won't come to the wedding because of Chandler. I wanna have sex."

"I'm not that good of a friend. Although, I do think you're being an asswipe about Chandler. The dude hasn't spoken to you in seven months."

"Actually, he called. My bachelor party will be in the basement of the Pizza Hut."

"Nice. I would have done it at a comic book store."

"Hey, he called back, he picked a place. I can't also expect him to choose a place I would like. That's asking a lot of the self-absorbed. Hey, you wanna come over tonight? You and Susan? I'd liked to meet her. You bringing her to the wedding?"

"Yeah, I wanted to. Is that alright?"

"Of course, she's your girlfriend. I think I met her. I think she was Lizzie's roommate in college. We should set Liz up too. If you and Susan come, I'll call Liz and-"

"Sam? I'm still in touch with him."

"That would be awesome. I'll make fajitas. It would be nice to not think of how I'm not having sex."

"You know what man, Susan doesn't seem to enjoy sex either. We're gonna be doing this a lot."

"Go us…you know there's an adult erotica store across from our place."

"Let's go," Jonathan said as the two got up and walked out of the karate studio. After some more playtime, they ended up back at the apartment making phone calls for their impromptu dinner party which Carol was all for. Ross had made fajitas and discussions began about comic books and wedding plans.

"And you know, Carol, I wanted to say thank for letting me come to your wedding," Susan said.

"Oh, of course. I want Liz to come but she refuses," Carol said.

"Why?" Susan asked.

"Because her ex-boyfriend might be there, although he won't," Carol said.

"He called. My bachelor party will be at a Pizza Hut," Ross said.

"I would have done it at a comic book store," Lizzie said.

"That's what I said, but who am I?" Jonathan asked.

"He called and I still think you should come," Ross said.

"No. I'm sorry, I'm sure I'll regret it but no," Lizzie said, "I refuse to ever be in the same room as Chandler ever."

"Will you at least come to my bachelorette party. He's not going to that," Carol said.

"Monica will be there and she talks to him and if she says something to him…..no," Lizzie said.

"I don't think she's talked to him either," Ross said.

"But I think he likes her…and I think it's mutual and it would not shock me if they like hooked up," Lizzie said. "Please, I know I'm being selfish and stupid but let me just me stupid."

"I thought you did that when you cheated on him and got knocked up," Jonathan teased.

"Hey now, I got Lauren from stupid so that's okay. Her father is the dumbest man alive," Lizzie said.

"What's his name?" Sam asked.

"Asshole Sperm Man," Lizzie said.

"New comic book character," Jonathan said.

"Hero or villain?" Sam asked.

"Villain," Ross said.

"Okay, how about this. We'll have a separate bachelorette party, you, me and Susan," Carol said.

"That I will do," Lizzie said.

"Then dude, separate bachelor party, you, me and Sam," Jonathan offered.

"Okay, yeah….that'll be fun."

"Oh, and I want a comic book featuring Asshole Sperm Man," Lizzie grinned.

"We should bring back all of them. We haven't done one in a long time," Jonathan said.

"Okay, we got Two Face, Science Boy….Asshole Sperm Man. They need….they defeat Asshole Sperm Man?" Ross offered.

"Didn't you have one that was kind of based on Chandler? Funny Boy or something. What if Asshole Sperm Man and Funny Boy were brothers," Lizzie said.

"Yes….and Funny Boy tells jokes while Sperm Man puts his sperm into unsuspecting women," Sam said which caused an awkward silence to hover over the room.

"That sounds a little dicey," Susan said.

"Yeah, what if the women are expecting it and it is consensual but they're also expecting him to wear protection," Lizzie said, "and also….call people back."

"Ohhhh, this could be good. This could be our first adult comic book," Ross said. "We could sell this at the erotic store down the street."

Soon the group separated, Lizzie, Carol and Susan began chatting while the three boys began outlining the next adult issue of Science Boy, this one titled "Science Boy Defeats Asshole Sperm Man." It was a lovely dinner party and quite adult.

A few days later, Ross was hanging out with Monica. He would not tell her about Susan, Carol and Lizzie's idea for a separate bachelorette party nor would he tell her about the separate bachelor party idea he would be having with Sam and Jonathan. He knew Monica well enough to know she would not react well. So he'd stick to talking about Chandler.

"My bachelor party is going to be in the basement of a Pizza Hut," Ross grinned a few days later over lunch with Monica. "And he RSVPed. He's having the steak."

"Good."

"And you yelled at him," Ross said. Chandler had admitted that Monica had visited him to yell at him about how he was acting.

"I did what I had to do. He wasn't going to come to the wedding."

"He was."

"Why are you so stuck on this friendship?" Monica asked.

"'Cause at the end of the day, he's a good guy. Hey, you're stuck on it too."

"I'm not. I-he's-I have a boyfriend."

He loved how every single time he tried to hint on the fact that he knew Monica liked Chandler, she would quickly add that she had a boyfriend.

"Kip. Weird."

"Why?"

He shook his head. He had already answered this question but he would answer it again.

"'Cause Kip is an ass and you're only dating him 'cause you know that will piss off Chandler."

"Not true."

"Very much true and you did get to him, he vanished."

"I don't like Chandler in that way, Ross. He's broken and he's weird and….I don't like him."

"Okay."

"I don't."

"I believe you although I do think you two would have an awesome wedding."

"Shut up. Look, I don't….okay, I don't want to like him that way. Okay, he makes me really mad and he's so self absorbed and...probably an alcoholic."

"Not probably."

"Great. He's a real catch….and what he put Lizzie through?"

"She cheated," Ross said, although the sound of Lizzie's name made him uncomfortable, he wondered if he should tell Monica that he was still friends with Lizzie but quickly decided against it. Lizzie would kill him. "Mon, he's a good guy. He is. Look, I do agree he definitely can act like a dick but….there's something there and I think he likes you and he will do whatever you want him to do."

"I doubt that's true."

"You got him to come to my wedding."

"Your wedding hasn't happened yet."

"He'll still be there."

He often felt like he was living two separate lives when he hung out with Monica. When he hung out with Monica, it was about Chandler and Kip and whatever drama was going there but away from that, he was building a life. He especially loved when Lizzie would bring Lauren over to play. He loved watching the little girl play on his floor and she looked mildly interested when he read from his textbooks although he was quite sure she had no idea what he was saying and it always made her want to nap. It made him dream of having children. What would his and Carol's children look like? Hopefully they would have sex again in order to find out.

The Pizza Hut Bachelor Party was interesting to say the least. Kip, Gandalf and Chandler were there sitting at a table, not paying attention while Ross, Sam, Jonathan and Will who had come into town from Los Angeles were playing games and drinking beer.

"Maybe this is our separate bachelor party," Jonathan said as he put some money into the air hockey machine to begin a game, "are they even part of our group?"

"No idea but you know what, I don't care. He's here," Ross said.

"He's not speaking to anyone," Sam said.

"Yeah, how is he your best man? How did we lose that gig, Jon?" Will asked.

"Ask Ross," Jonathan said.

"He's a good guy….it's...it's really not that big of a deal. After this, we can go to a strip club or something," Ross said.

"I want to go to the erotic store. That was fun," Jonathan said.

"Yeah, okay….let's do that again," Ross said.

"This party is lame. I didn't fly to New York to hang out in a place I can hang out in in L.A.," Will said.

"Tomorrow night will be better. We'll go to the comic book shop, then drinks and then strip club and we're doing a joint party with Lizzie, Susan and Carol...and Carol said she'd bring a friend for you, Will," Ross said. "Just let him feel he's done a good job."

"I want a good steak dinner," Will said.

"Tomorrow," Ross said as he looked back at Chandler who looked miserable sitting with Gandalf and Kip. He did kind of want to invite Chandler but figured it might not end well. Just let him think he had done his best man job and hopefully he would show up at the wedding. It was fun though, playing games with Will, Jonathan and Sam. They did get wrapped up in their video games, so wrapped up that it wasn't until halfway through the party that Ross realized Chandler had taken off without saying a word.

The next night was spectacular. Carol, Susan, Lizzie and Carol's friend, Camryn, met up with Ross, Jonathan, Sam and Will at the strip club after the boys had gone to have a steak dinner and scoured the comic book shop. It was a great way to countdown to his wedding.

"So how was your bachelorette party?" Ross asked.

"It was fun, it would have been more fun if Liz was there," Carol said, reaching for Lizzie's hand. Lizzie let out a breath and slowly moved her hand away.

"Well, I have to be a good mother every once in awhile," Lizzie said.

"We got so wasted," Camryn cooed.

"I know but this is more fun," Carol said.

"You know, I'm gonna get a drink," Lizzie said, "Ross, you wanna come with me?"

"Sure," Ross said as they got up and walked towards the bar.

"I don't think you should go through with this," Lizzie said as soon as they reached the bar.

"What?"

"Okay remember when I said I thought she was a lesbian. I mean, maybe….Ross…"

"Lizzie, come on. I do love you and I mean this in the nicest way, but are you really giving me relationship advice?"

"I know, I know. It's stupid...but...I don't know...I just...maybe it's just a feeling."

"She's...it's going to be fine. I wish you could come to the wedding and see that."

"I can't. I'm sorry. I just….and if he doesn't show up, I'll feel like shit but….I feel like shit now but….I cannot be in the same room as him. Maybe in a few years but right now, I'm not strong enough. You don't know how tough it's been. I am a single mother who had two relationships end so horribly and they were back to back. They both destroyed me and I don't want you to be destroyed if it turns out I'm right."

"I'm gonna be fine and so will you," Ross said, feeling a little sorry for her and understanding what was going on with her. He paid for the drinks and the two rejoined the group. He put Lizzie's worries out of his mind and sat with his soon to be wife, their wedding was quickly approaching.

The day of the wedding, Ross was filled with nerves. He was actually going through with this. He was actually going to have someone to call his wife. His nerves were calmed slightly by Chandler showing up. He had shown up. That amazed him. While he had told everyone Chandler would show up, there was still a part of him that wondered.

"The best man makes an appearance," Jonathan said as he opened the door.

"You actually showed up?" Ross asked.

"Wow, you must really wanna walk Monica down the aisle," Sam teased.

"Shut up person I barely know," Chandler said.

"I went to college with you, man," Sam said.

"I'm glad you're here. Really. It also proves that I am right," Ross said as he hugged Chandler.

"Well, Mon made me," Chandler said.

"Sure."

"Alright, let's get this wedding started," Jonathan said.

The ceremony was amazing. Watching Carol walk down the aisle was a moment he would never forget, tears filled his eyes as he watched. Carol smiled at him, her white blonde hair curled as she was wearing a long white dress. This was it. This was their moment and before they knew it, they were officially husband and wife.

At the reception, they danced. They shared kisses and it dawned on Ross that at twenty two almost twenty three, he had everything he could possibly want. He had a wife, he had a career that was moving forward. His second year of grad school would be starting in the fall. He had friends. He officially could call his life….perfect.


	17. Chapter 17

**May 1992-June 1992**

After the wedding, he thought it might happen. It seemed like the perfect time, the day had been all about them. He had also been right about Chandler showing up. It was now summer, the party was over and now they could begin their lives. He had planned a special night for the two of them post wedding. They had gotten a honeymoon suite which had been decorated with rose petals and candles. He carried her over the threshold and set her down as they kissed. It was the perfect setting for romance but when they fell towards the bed, Carol stopped him.

"You know, Ross….I'm tired."

"But...it's our wedding night."

"It's so cliche, sex on the wedding night."

"We haven't had sex since February."

"Are you really counting?"

"Uh, yes."

"That's weird."

"No it's not, this is weird….okay, Carol, I have to ask you...it's not too late but are you gay?"

"No, G-d...why does-no-" Carol seemed rather flustered and insulted by that question.

"Okay."

"I'm tired, okay...it's been a long day. Just because I don't wanna have sex right now, doesn't mean I'm gay. It just means I'm tired. I've had a lot to drink and I'm just tired."

"Okay, okay….you know...I'm not that tired."

"Then go downstairs and get a drink."

Ross' heart sank at that comment. He wasn't sure that was the best idea but Carol was asking him to leave so maybe he should. He stepped back and slowly walked out of the honeymoon suite, closing the door behind him. He needed someone to talk to but he wasn't sure who. He really did not want to talk to Will, Jonathan or Sam and he was pretty sure Chandler had gone home. Monica would be pissed and there was only one friend left but it was late…..but he didn't care.

He left the hotel and hailed a cab taking it to the apartment that he had been in several times already. He buzzed and was surprised she was still up. Lizzie was still shocked though when she opened the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lizzie asked as she ushered him in.

"Did I wake you?" Ross asked.

"No. You want a drink or something?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah," he said as he followed her into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

"Okay, now do you wanna tell me what you're doing here?" Lizzie asked as they sat with their wine glasses on the couch.

"I'm married."

"Yeah, how was the wedding?"

"Good. Chandler showed up. He wasn't drunk, at least not to my knowledge."

"Good. Ross….why are you here?"

"My wife does not want to have sex with me on our wedding night."

"Oh."

"She says she was tired and she drank and….you know, Carol is my first girlfriend. Ever. First relationship. This….it's gonna be okay."

"I hope so. First loves though, those can be rough."

"Chandler was yours?"

"Yeah. I met him when I was eleven. I fell for him, immediately. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. He had this bowl cut and these eyes that were so sparkly and blue, like he's always just about to tell you the funniest thing ever-"

"He usually is."

"He was my first kiss, first everything and when it ends, it guts you and...and I don't know about you and Carol."

"Is this normal?"

"I don't know. I've had two relationships, Ross. Chandler and Lauren's dad. I can't give relationship advice."

Ross gave her a weak smile as he brought the glass to his lips, "you deserve better."

"So do you," she said quietly.

"If it turns out you're right...what then?"

"Then you pick up the pieces."

"You wanna know something weird?"

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"While I was standing there today, I thought of Rachel."

"Rachel?"

"Coyote, the girl Chandler hates," Ross said.

"Oh, G-d. I haven't thought of that girl in a long time. You were thinking of her."

"Pathetic, right?"

"No. Not at all."

"I was standing there staring at this beautiful woman and I'm surround by family and friends and….all I kept thinking was, 'oh shit' and 'Rachel' and….I just…"

"You like her."

"She's not part of my life anymore. I didn't even think to invite her to my wedding."

"She's a crush and you know what they say about crushes? They crush you," Lizzie said.

"Yeah. She probably doesn't even think about me. I do love Carol. I really wish you had been there today."

"I know but…."

"Chandler would kill me if he found out I still hung out with you and didn't tell him….especially knowing you have a kid. Although, I may never see him again after today."

"You don't think you so?"

"He came to the wedding. That was all I needed him to do. I keep calling and he doesn't call back so I….I guess that's about it."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I shouldn't be here. What the hell am I doing here?"

"Friendship?"

"I guess. G-d, I really want you to be wrong."

"Me too, I want me to be wrong too."

Ross and Lizzie sat together and continued drinking their wine. Each one lost in their own thoughts. Ross kept thinking about Carol, his new wife, lying alone in their honeymoon suite while he was sitting in Lizzie's apartment. He kept looking at her. She was pretty, jet black hair, pale skin, crystal blue eyes. He had never really looked at Lizzie before, really looked at her.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Snow White? Or Phoebe Cates?"

"Chandler said I look like your sister."

"And just like that, the moment is over."

Lizzie laughed as she drank some more wine, "Nothing can happen, Ross. Can you imagine how effed up that would be? I mean, going out with my ex boyfriend's best friend….who got married about six hours ago. Please."

"I know and you also have a kid."

"With a man whom….well, he's a dick."

"I don't know his name."

"He's not worth having one. He's an asshole and he's gonna have to live with the fact that he's gonna miss his child growing up. I mean, fuck….you call people back. How hard is that? I called him probably fifty times going, 'I'm not some crazy girl stalking you...you really need to call me back, it's important.'"

"He never called you back."

"Nope. So I refuse to mention him by name because he's not worth having one."

"Well, for what it's worth…he's an asshole and so's Chandler. I meant what I said….you deserve so much better."

"Thank you. Go find your wife," Lizzie said.

She was right, he knew she was right. He shouldn't be there with her, nothing could happen and he couldn't do that to Carol or to Chandler, really. He was feeling lonely It was his wedding night. His wedding night and he was with another woman. Even if nothing happened, he was still sitting there with Lizzie, being close to her. He finished his wine and left after giving Lizzie a hug.

It was close to one thirty, two in the morning when he got back to the hotel. He wondered if Carol would be pissed off at him. As he reached his floor, he stopped. Susan was walking out of the honeymoon suite, carrying her shoes in her hand. He cocked his head to the side as he stared at her and walked towards her.

"What are you doing in our suite?"

"Oh, Carol called. She was feeling sad and we couldn't find you," Susan said.

"Where's Jonathan?"

"He's in his room. She just needed a friend."

Susan smiled as she squeezed his arm and walked off down the hall. He watched her disappear before walking into the room. Carol was staring at him from their bed.

"So did you have fun at the bar?"

"I-I-why was she here?" Ross asked, walking towards her.

"She's a friend, Ross," Carol said, "you weren't downstairs, were you?"

"No. No, I went….for a walk. Carol, it's….I want this to work. I want to spend my life with you. If you're hiding something."

"I'm not. I'm just tired. Hey, we have our honeymoon to look forward to. Disneyland, that'll be fun," Carol said.

"But we're not going to Disneyland until Winter Break," Ross said, "You wanna wait until December?"

With both of their work and grad school schedules, they realized the only time they could do a honeymoon was during Christmas break. So they thought they would spend two weeks at Disneyland. It would be nice to get out of New York during the winter and spend time in California where it would be far warmer.

"No, no…just I'm tired," Carol said, kissing him.

Ross lay down next to her as she snuggled deep under the covers. He watched as she slowly fell asleep and he closed his eyes as well. There were feelings. He had a feeling. He felt like he had swallowed a rock and it was sitting in his stomach. Carol was his first love, the first love who loved him back.

He really didn't think he would ever see Chandler again after the wedding and was shocked when he learned that Chandler was moving in with Kip. He thought that would most likely not end well but Kip needed a roommate as did Monica and with Chandler now living next door to Monica, he was apparently there more often.

"So, you're a data processor? What are you doing?" Monica asked. Ross was hanging out with them, still not quite believing that Chandler had now gotten himself a job and was living across the hall in apartment 19.

"Processing crap," Chandler said.

"Sounds fantastic," Monica said.

"At least he finally has a job," Ross said, although the job did sound rather boring.

"Thanks for the push, guys," Chandler said. "So, how's married life, Ross? I never asked."

"'Cause you don't care," Ross said. He and Carol had officially been married for a month. Chandler had not asked at all.

"I care," Chandler said.

"It's fine...it's just...well...see...Carol and I are-"

"They haven't sex in four months," Monica said.

"You told your sister that?" Chandler asked, a little stunned.

"It made me a little sad that he felt the need to tell me that too," Monica said.

"Well, I could've told you...but because you decided to be a hermit for the past seven months ," Ross said, although hadn't wanted to tell Monica either. It had slipped out in a random conversation over wine. Their moment was interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Hello?" Monica asked as she answered the phone, "Oh, okay...yeah...definitely. Okay. Ten minutes. Great." Monica hung up the phone and looked at Chandler and Ross. "A girl is coming up in ten minutes to see my apartment."

"Why didn't she make an appointment?" Ross asked.

"She just did," Monica said.

"Calling you ten minutes ahead of time is not enough advance notice," Ross said.

"Ross."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Ross has had an issue with every roommate candidate," Monica said.

"You have to be careful," Ross said. With his first year of grad school finished, he was still working at the museum but things with Carol were moving along slowly, very slowly. He needed something to fill his time and helping his sister look for roommates seemed like a great way to not think about other things.

"Go home and have sex with your wife and leave me the hell alone," Monica said which made Chandler laugh.

About ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Monica ran to the door and opened it. Ross was looking at the tall blonde girl in the doorway. She seemed a little dirty, weird. There was something a little off about her.

"Hi, I'm Monica."

"I'm Phoebe."

"Come on in," Monica said."Oh, Phoebe. This is my brother Ross and this is Ross' friend, Chandler."

"I'm your friend too," Chandler said.

"It really depends on the day," Monica said.

"You're so kind," Chandler said.

Ross wasn't paying any attention to Chandler or Monica. He kept his eyes on Phoebe. There really was something a little strange about her. She looked like she had not bathed in months. She looked like she had lived hard.

"So Phoebe, where are you from?" Ross asked.

"New York...upstate," Phoebe said.

"Let me show you the apartment-" Monica said.

"It's really big though," Phoebe said.

"Rent control...and illegal subletting," Monica said.

"Monica," Ross admonished, really wishing his sister would have been more selective in her roommate choosing.

"What? Alright...this is a kitchen. I'm a chef. I cook a lot so don't worry about food. Oh and Ross and Chandler are here way too much. I hope you don't mind."

"No," Phoebe said.

Ross looked over at Chandler who also seemed a little thrown off by that comment. He was pretty sure Chandler had barely been over in the last month and there was also that small fact that other than the wedding, Chandler had not spoken to them in months. Ross also tried to keep his distance from Monica's life. Maybe Monica was saying Ross and Chandler were there a lot as a safety measure?

"Great...now this is the living room, the balcony...out there.. My room is over there by the window and this would be your room," Monica said walking towards an empty bedroom.

"Wow," Phoebe said.

"So Phoebe, where are you living now?" Ross asked.

"Um...I live by the Port Authority bus terminal," Phoebe offered.

"Oh, yeah...there are some really nice apartments down there," Chandler said.

"Yeah, there are," Phoebe said.

"Do you have references? Oh, also...what do you do for a living?" Ross asked, there was just so much off about this. The apartments near Port Authority were expensive and this was not a girl who looked like she had expensive tastes.

"Ross, please. You said you were going to let me interview prospective roommates on my own," Monica said. "Trust me, I'm not going to choose a murderer as a roommate."

"Although, I bet they'd have some great carving knives," Chandler mused.

"Chandler," Monica said.

"You're a chef," Chandler said.

"Actually, I'm graduating next week from The New York Institute of Massage. I'm going to be a masseuse," Phoebe said.

Wait? An apartment near Port Authority and she was student? Something was not adding up. She didn't have a job?

"So you're unemployed? How did you manage to pay rent in the apartments near Port Authority? A studio is like two grand a month and-" Ross said.

"Ross...go downstairs and get a drink, please or go home to your wife," Monica said.

"Come on, man. I trust Monica," Chandler said getting up and patting Ross on the shoulder. Ross let out an annoyed sigh and got up, following Chandler out the door. It just seemed so ridiculous. This girl was hiding something. The two guys headed down to the bar, grabbed a table and ordered a couple beers.

"Monica cannot have a homeless girl live with her. That's just weird," Ross said.

"She managed to get herself through school," Chandler said.

"How?"

"I don't know. Maybe she had help."

"Something just seems off."

"Give her a chance. She seems kinda cool," Chandler said.

"Maybe...I don't know...congrats on your new job by the way."

"I had to get one, eventually. Right? And it's a temporary job. One I can do until I figure out what I really wanna do."

"I'm happy you're living with Kip. I care about you man."

"Thanks...and I'm sorry you haven't had sex in four months. Wait...does that mean you didn't do it on your wedding night?"

"Nope."

"Man...wow, Pizza Hut was definitely the wrong thing to do for your bachelor party."

Ross let out a snort, he so wanted to tell him what had happened on his wedding night. He wanted to tell Chandler that he had ended up at Lizzie's apartment, drinking wine and confiding in her. But he knew he couldn't, his friendship with Lizzie had to remain a secret. Monica soon ran over to them, a huge grin on her face. She seemed almost giddy as she sat at the table with them.

"I have a new roommate. Her name is Phoebe Buffay," Monica said.

"You cannot have Phoebe as your roommate. This seems so ridiculous," Ross said, quickly snapping away from thoughts of his time with Lizzie.

"She's graduating from school and...she's so sweet and-and-it's amazing. She was homeless and she got her GED and now is going to be a licensed masseuse. That's incredible and she's twenty four and was homeless for ten years. I wanna help her, I wanna get her on her feet. I don't think she's some sort of psychotic killer. She seems too sweet to be a psycho killer," Monica said.

"I think she would be an awesome roommate...it would give me someone to play with when you bang Kip," Chandler said.

"Classy...and if you're gonna be roommates with Kip, you have to be nice to him," Monica said.

"I moved out of my parents house and got a job. Baby steps," Chandler said.

"Fine. I can't wait...and I wanna see her graduate. We have to go," Monica said.

"I wanna go too," Chandler said.

"You do?" Monica asked.

"Yeah...it would...I really wanna see that."

"How did she pay for school?" Ross said.

"Maybe she had help? Financial Aid...or actually, maybe I paid for it," Chandler remarked.

"You did not," Ross said. That would be hilarious.

"Seriously, I did," Chandler said, grinning.

"Yeah...that would mean you were caring about someone else besides yourself," Monica said.

Chandler slowly nodded his head as he took a sip of his beer, "yeah...you're right. I'd never do that."

Ross really wanted to try and absorb what Monica was trying to say. Basically, a homeless girl would be living with his sister. It made him almost upset and angry. How would Phoebe pay rent? How did she get money in the first place? He ended up having to cut his visit with Chandler and Monica short because the entire idea of Phoebe living with Monica was irritating him. He could not wait to get home and tell Carol. She would find it hilarious.

When he got back to his place, he was stunned to Lizzie there with Lauren sleeping beside her. He cocked his head to the side and plopped down on the couch.

"Why are you here?" Ross asked.

"Oh, Susan and Carol ran across the street to pick up food and Lauren was getting fussy so I wanted to have her nap. Jonathan and Sam are coming over later."

"Great."

"So where were you?"

"My sister's. Here's news. Chandler's moving in next door to her. He's gonna be Kip's roommate and my sister is having a homeless girl live with her," Ross said.

"Awww….what?"

"I know and Monica and Chandler think I'm nuts. She's homeless. She has no home."

"That usually makes someone homeless."

"So how will she pay rent? She was homeless for ten years."

"Ten years? How old is she?" Lizzie asked.

"Twenty four."

"She was homeless at fourteen. That's so sad."

"It is sad but….G-d knows what kind of crap this girl has been through. I mean, what...she has not slept in a bed in ten years. She has...I don't understand except okay, how's this for bizarre? She's graduating from massage school. She's going to be a licensed masseuse."

"How did she pay for school?"

"I don't know. Although, Chandler said he paid for it," Ross grinned which made Lizzie laugh.

"Yeah, funny. That would mean he'd think about someone else and the day that happens, hell will have frozen over."

"Right. But….I don't...I don't get it….why….and they think I'm the crazy one."

"Wow….ten years though, you realize she probably hasn't been to a doctor in ten years. Well…you know, the good thing is that your sister is a chef so there are lots of sharp knives around."

"How is that a good thing?" Ross asked.

"I don't know, I'm just saying crap."

Ross laughed, "well, it's not helping."

"So, how's married life."

"Not sexy."

"Still haven't?"

"Nope."

"Well, your honeymoon is coming up-"

"Yeah, G-d I hope so. Actually, I hope before then or I'm gonna stick it in a dwarf."

"I think they frown on that there," Lizzie said.

"Hey, the last time I was there I shit on a ride, so clearly I like leaving my mark in Disneyland."

Lizzie and Ross were both laughing as Lauren began fussing a little from her carrier. They both peered in and looked at Lauren at the same time, accidentally touching their foreheads together. They both looked up at each other and there was an almost magnetic pull between them. They quickly pulled away from each other. Ross stood up and walked towards the kitchen and Lizzie began comforting Lauren. Soon Carol, Susan, Jonathan, and Sam returned and all tension was gone. It was now a dinner party and the moment between Lizzie and Ross was gone. Even though it was gone, he could not stop thinking about it. He couldn't stop thinking about how pretty she was, how long it had been. He needed to get those thoughts out of his head, he needed to not think of her in that way.

That night, he lay beside Carol as she was looking at a magazine. He looked at her and gently kissed her neck. He wanted her so badly at that moment. He want to hold her, experience her, be close to her. That's what he had hoped for when it came to marriage.

"Ross," Carol said.

"Carol, please….I miss you. I don't…."

Carol put down her magazine and looked at him. She leaned into kiss him back.

"I do love you, Ross."

"I love you too."

The two continued kissing and it seemed like Carol was giving in. Maybe this marriage would be okay, maybe it would be okay after all? He hoped so…


	18. Chapter 18

**June 1992-December 1992**

It was a tough summer. There had been that trip to Vermont during the July 4th weekend which Ross had surprised Carol with in an attempt to spice up their marriage although he wasn't sure what that said about the state of their marriage that two months into being newly married, they needed to spice things up again. He had gotten them a room at a fancy cabin and thought it would be the perfect little vacation for them.

"It's nice, right?" Ross asked as they sat together, staring at each other from across the table over a meal of pasta and wine.

"Yeah," Carol said, looking at her plate. "You know, I was thinking about Disneyland in December."

"Really?" Ross asked, grinning a little.

"You know what would be fun? What if Susan and Lizzie and Jonathan and Sam came with us. Lizzie can bring Lauren. Lauren would love Disneyland."

Ross nodded slowly, that did not sound fun at all. "Well, Lauren might not remember Disneyland. She's only two. It might be more fun for her to go when she's old enough to remember it."

"I think she'll still love it. But don't you think it would be fun? All of us," Lizzie said.

"It would be, but it's our honeymoon. I don't-it really should be us."

"It would be more fun with a group," Carol said.

"But honeymoons really should just include two people. The bride and groom."

"Why go with the norm? We should play by our own rules."

"Okay. "

"It would be fun."

"Alright, no, okay, let's make it a group thing. Lauren would love Disneyland. We can visit Will. He has a girlfriend who is apparently an actress."

"Of course," Carol said. "It's good we have friends."

"Yes, it is. So maybe we can go hiking tomorrow. We can take a boat out onto the lake and watch the fireworks."

"Susan and Jonathan will love that."

"Susan and Jonathan?"

"I invited them. They're coming up tomorrow."

"Wh-why didn't you tell me you invited them?"

"I didn't think you'd mind. I invited Sam and Lizzie too but they couldn't come and Liz didn't wanna bring Lauren 'cause she thought Lauren might get scared of the fireworks which I totally get-"

"Why did you invite them?"

"I thought it would be a good idea. We don't have to be alone all the time."

"We're never alone."

"Don't you like Jonathan and Susan?" Carol asked.

"I do, but I don't-I-I this could be our trip. I mean, we were invited….Chandler invited us to go to Long Island with him and Phoebe and I said no-"

"Are they dating?"

"No. I don't know. That's not the point."

"Why are you getting so upset?"

"I'm not. I just-Jonathan and Susan are terrific. I can't wait to see them."

"Right," Carol said.

Carol continued eating, but Ross lost his appetite. He hated that Carol kept doing that, she kept inviting people into their marriage. They always had to do things as a group. He didn't want to be possessive, but it felt like he never got to see Carol alone. They were still newlyweds and it felt like he was losing her.

Jonathan and Susan arrived the next day and it was quickly decided that Susan and Carol would go shopping and Jonathan and Ross would go hiking. He wanted to be happy about this turn of events. Sure, Carol could have friends and he enjoyed spending time with his lifelong best friend and the hiking was fun. The trail was actually difficult and he was impressed with himself when they reached the end and were sitting at the edge of cliff, looking out onto a pond surrounded by trees.

"You didn't want us here, did you?" Jonathan asked as the two sat side by side.

"Not even a little bit," Ross said, staring straight ahead.

"I didn't wanna come either. I told Susan that I did not think we should go. She kept saying Carol invited us."

"It's good that they're friends, I guess. By the way, you and Susan are coming to Disneyland. Lizzie and Sam too and Lauren."

"We're going to Disneyland? I thought that was your honeymoon trip?"

"Me too but she thinks it would be more fun with a group. Did I make a mistake?"

"I don't know. But I'm assuming asking if you made a mistake two months after your wedding isn't a good sign. Can I ask you something, though. You're not even twenty-three yet. Why did you have to get married now? Why couldn't you have waited? You and Carol are the only ones of any of our friends who are married and….if it works then I will stand up at your fiftieth wedding anniversary and say that I was wrong and Mazel Tov and all that crap but…..why did you have to get married, now?"

Ross let that sink in, letting the words roll around in his head. He just liked Carol, it felt right and if it felt right then why not? Age shouldn't matter.

"I love Carol. She's driven and smart and knows who she is and-"

"She's not Two-Face."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Carol's not Two-Face," Jonathan said. "Did you marry Carol because it would effectively end your crush on Two-Face."

"You're out of your mind," Ross said. "I haven't spoken to Two-Face in...I don't even know...and I didn't...I wanted to get married because why wouldn't I? She's….if you love someone, why not? It's a happy ending for Science Boy."

"Okay. I heard she's living with a guy," Jonathan said.

"Good for her. I've moved on. Look, I didn't have any girlfriends in high school-"

"I know, I was there. Carol's your first girlfriend. Don't you think you should have had a few others?"

"Why?"

The truth was, he loved being with someone. He loved having a partner. He loved being so connected to another person. Even if it felt at times that Carol did not want to be connected to him. They remained seated for a while as his mind wandered. He thought of his sister in the Hamptons with Kip. He thought of Chandler and Phoebe. People were finding love, coupling up and moving on from crushes and first loves. Monica had a crush on Chandler but was moving on with Kip. Chandler was now dating Phoebe, it seemed which did strangely make sense the more he learned about Phoebe. So what was wrong with him moving on? The crush on Rachel was pointless now.

Soon, summer was over and it was back to the grind. Carol was student teaching and still attending classes and he was in his second year of grad school. Their routine was back to normal, work and school. School and work. He did feel a bit like he was living two lives. For his twenty-third birthday that October, there were two parties. One dinner which he had with Carol, Monica, Kip, Chandler and Phoebe and then a second one which included Jonathan, Sam, Susan, Lizzie and little Lauren. He was still keeping his friendship with Lizzie a secret from Chandler although he did wonder how long he had to keep it secret.

"You know, I think Chandler is dating Monica's roommate now," Carol said over dinner with the rest of group. For his twenty-third birthday, Carol has made fajitas.

"The homeless girl?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes," Carol said.

"I don't know, according to Chandler they're just friends but Monica told me that Phoebe and him go out every night. The go clubbing and come back at four, five in the morning….still drunk," Ross said.

"So she's enabling him," Lizzie said.

"Probably….yes," Ross said.

"Okay, fine enable away homeless girl. Not my problem anymore," Lizzie said.

"I know. Is it wrong that that makes me happy," Ross said.

"You don't have to drive his drunk ass home," Jonathan said.

"Dream come true," Ross said.

"Although, it kind of pisses me off," Lizzie said.

"Why?" Susan asked.

"Because my ex-boyfriend is now dating a homeless girl….or a girl who was homeless...and I am completely undateable," Lizzie said.

"That's not true. Remember when we went to McCoys the other night? That guy was all over you," Susan said.

"Yes, until I told him that I have a two-year-old daughter and then suddenly, he told me that he forgot that he had malaria and I have never seen a human being run that fast. Cheetahs could not have kept up with him," Lizzie said.

"Well, that guy is an ass but we will find you a guy," Carol said, "Ross, Jonathan, Sam….help Lizzie out."

"It's pointless. No twenty-three-year-old male is going to date a girl who has a child," Lizzie said.

"Then we'll find you an older guy that will make you forget about your alcoholic ex banging a homeless girl and your deadbeat baby daddy," Carol grinned.

"That's classy," Ross said, laughing.

"I know," Carol said.

"I'll just have to face it. I'm gonna be a single woman for the next sixteen years. I'm fine dating when I'm thirty nine. It'll give me more time to read books and plan things….like Halloween which is in a few weeks…." Lizzie said.

"Nice segue way," Sam said.

"Thank you. Okay, I have a question. Can we….I know she's still really little and we'll probably end up eating all her candy but can we take her trick or treating? I mean if I'm not going to date for sixteen years, I have to have some fun. Can we all take Lauren trick or treating?" Lizzie asked.

"I won't turn down free candy," Sam said.

"Me neither," Jonathan said.

"Yeah, we're grad school students. Free food is always a plus," Ross said.

"We have to think of a costume for her," Carol said.

"I was thinking a princess or a duck….or a pumpkin," Lizzie said.

"Those are so boring, let's be creative," Susan said.

"Bacon and eggs," Ross offered. "We make her a hat that looks like bacon and dress her up as a sunny side up egg."

"I like that one," Lizzie said.

"Yeah, who knew you could be so creative," Susan said.

"I knew. I mean, you helped me with my lesson last week," Carol said.

"Score for Geller," Ross said.

"Don't do that," Jonathan said.

"Sorry," Ross said.

The planning continued and it was soon decided that the group would also dress up to correspond with Lauren's bacon and eggs ensemble. They would each be breakfast foods. Cinnamon rolls, orange juice, a bowl of cereal, a pop tart, pancakes, they would be breakfast. When Halloween rolled around, the group headed out to take the tiny two-year-old trick-or-treating. Watching as Lizzie, who was dressed as French toast, as she took Lauren's hand and walked with her to the door of a random house warmed him. He loved watching her as Lizzie helped Lauren with what to say and watched as the person placed a piece of candy in Lauren's little pumpkin trick or treat bag to which Lizzie prompted Lauren to thank the person. Everything about it was just perfect and it gave him an idea. He looked at Carol dressed as pancakes, and he was dressed as syrup and he wondered if one day they could have their own little bacon and eggs. Although that would mean they would have to actually have sex and that didn't seem to be happening a whole lot.

Lying in bed with Carol that night, he wondered if he could broach the subject. They were eating some of Lauren's candy. Lizzie had divided the candy amongst the group and now they were eating their loot.

"Snickers or Butterfinger?" Carol asked, holding the two pieces of chocolate in her hand.

"Snickers," Ross said, taking it. "You know tonight was fun."

"Yeah, it was. Lauren is so cute."

"She really is. She had so much fun."

"She did love it….at the end, she didn't even wanna hold Lizzie's hand."

Ross laughed at the memory. By the end of the evening, Lauren was determined to trick or treat on her own so she knocked and asked for the candy with no prompting and with Lizzie standing a few steps behind.

"She's sweet kid," Ross said.

"She is."

"So...you know, does it make you think?" Ross asked.

"About what?"

"Having a Lauren of our own?"

"Oh, Ross….we just got married and-"

"Not right now….I mean, I'd like wait until I get the PhD and you're done with school but I just….I wanna have kids with you."

"Ross….do you think we moved too fast?" Carol asked.

"What?" Ross asked, that wasn't quite what he wanted to hear.

"We're twenty-three-years-old and I watched Lizzie with Lauren tonight and Liz is amazing and Lauren is the best kid but I can't-"

"We didn't move too fast. It doesn't matter, the age doesn't matter. I don't care. Even if I was fifty, I would still want you. I am so tired of people bringing the age thing into it. Lizzie is twenty-three with a two-year-old daughter, raising her by herself and I think she's doing a pretty damn good job. Age is age."

"You don't think we should have explored more? I mean, we are each other's first serious relationship."

"So? Some people are lucky and get it right the first time."

Carol stared at him and gently reached her hand up to his cheek. He leaned in and kissed her. As the kiss deepened, he pushed all the candy off the bed and onto the floor as Carol gave into him and they kept kissing. He moved his body so he was on top of her and she ran her hands under his shirt and soon the heat took over them. The dry spell was finally over as they gave into the moment.

By Thanksgiving, things seemed to be back on the right track for Carol and Ross as they headed to the Geller house for Thanksgiving along with Kip and Monica. Chandler and Phoebe had been invited but apparently had decided to stay behind at the apartment. This was something that Monica seemed really annoyed by which in turn annoyed Kip.

"Can we please just stop talking about this?" Kip asked as the two couples were sitting on the couch in the living room, eating turkey and stuffing while complaining.

"I don't get it. I mean, they go out every single night and they're-"

"Well, if they're dating," Carol offered.

"I don't think they're dating. She's...I don't-"

"Do you wanna be dating him?" Kip asked.

"No, I don't. I just-she's enabling him. She doesn't understand that he's an alcoholic," Monica said.

"He doesn't even understand he's an alcoholic," Ross said.

"Exactly," Kip said.

"They shouldn't...I don't like that they decided not to come and they're alone in my apartment and….they're gonna hook up if they haven't already-"

"Mon, why would they want to come?" Carol asked.

"Chandler came to Thanksgiving twice and-"

"We were in college and I invited him 'cause he would have been alone. He now has Phoebe and he doesn't even celebrate Thanksgiving and she's a vegetarian so she's not even going to eat turkey," Ross said.

"Exactly and Monica, we're not his family….nor are we her's. There's no reason for them to spend Thanksgiving here," Carol said.

"You know what, I gotta get a drink. I can't listen to this, it's dumb," Kip said getting up and walking out of the living room and into the kitchen.

He hated that he was agreeing with Kip. He did not want to agree with Kip. He hated Monica and Kip's relationship but he also didn't think Monica should keep talking about Chandler.

"Kip doesn't get it, I-he-"

"Mon, you've gotta stop harping on Chandler and whatever he's doing with Phoebe," Ross said.

"I can be worried about him. I'm his friend and Phoebe doesn't understand-"

"Maybe she does," Carol said, "maybe she understands more than you think."

"Yeah, I'm mean, they've both had abandonment issues that we can't possibly get so maybe they just need each other right now and we gotta let that happen," Ross said.

"And I agree with Ross, you've got to stop talking about it in front of Kip."

"Let them be. Don't worry about it. This isn't their family," Ross said as he looked back towards the kitchen and saw Kip standing by the counter. He let out a sigh and got up. He walked off towards Kip which he also hated. He didn't like Kip, didn't like having to get along with him but he also didn't want his sister to be dumped on Thanksgiving.

"What do you want, Geller?" Kip asked.

"Give Monica a break. She likes Chandler and you know that their relationship is complicated. You knew that when you started dating her…..and you know he likes her."

"No he doesn't, he's hooking up with Phoebe. She's being jealous."

"Just cut her some slack here. You're the one who chose to screw up your friendship with Chandler by going out with my sister."

"You still hang out with Lizzie, don't you?" Kip asked, bringing his wine glass to his lips.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I haven't-"

"Don't lie, man. I know you hang out with her. She has a kid too, right?"

"How do you-"

"I hear things. So don't talk to me about being crappy friend," Kip said.

"I'm not dating Lizzie. I can still be her friend. I'm allowed to be her friend."

"So why can't you tell him that you're still friends with her?"

"It's not of your business," Ross said. "And who cares? He treated her like shit and you know that."

"Yep. I do….so if he treats girls like shit, why do want him to date your sister?"

"I don't want him to date my sister."

"I mean, if you do think he's such an ass, maybe it's good he's dating the homeless girl."

"You know, technically she's no longer homeless," Ross said.

"Whatever. I won't tell him and I won't tell Mon."

"Thanks," Ross said.

"Who does the kid belong to? Who's the dad?" Kip asked.

"No one knows. It's not Chandler and I'll tell him that I still hang out with Liz….I just...can I ask you something? Has his drinking gotten worse?"

"Yeah. It's actually kind of ridiculous. They act like they're the only two people in the building. They're out at all hours….it's obnoxious and I'm getting annoyed."

"Sorry. Maybe I should hang out over there more."

"Why? You got your own life," Kip said.

"Yeah," Ross said.

Kip smiled at him as he walked out of the kitchen. Ross watched as Kip walked towards Monica and gently squeezed her shoulder. He looked over at the phone and walked over to it. Picking it up, first he dialed Chandler and Kip's place but got no answer so he hung up and called Monica and Phoebe's. No answer. It did concern him that no one was home. He wondered where they were and what they were doing?

When they got back from Thanksgiving, Ross invited Chandler to lunch. He realized that he really had not hung out with Chandler in a very long time, at least not one on one. He was thinking the last time they had hung out, just the two of them without Monica, without anyone else was college. So he maybe they needed to just have lunch, talk and he'd ask about Phoebe and maybe he would also tell Chandler about Lizzie or not.

"So what's up?" Chandler asked as he bit into his pizza.

"Nothing, just wanted to check in. We haven't hung out in a long time."

"What are you talking about? We hang out a lot."

"Not the two of us. So are you dating Phoebe?"

"No. No, she's a friend. A friend I make out with a lot, but a friend."

"'Cause Mon thinks she-"

"Yeah, I know. I'm really not dating her."

"Okay, I'm also hearing that you're drinking a lot. Apparently, Phoebe drinks a lot."

"Like a fish. Dude, I'm fine. Okay. Look, you got a wife and friends and a life. Right? I got mine. I don't have a problem. When are you and your sister going to get that? Phoebe doesn't think I have any problem."

"'Cause she spent ten years living on the street."

"Clearly she knows problems. We are having a good time. We are enjoying being in our early twenties. You decided to get married. Great. I'm not an alcoholic. I am doing very well at my job. I am sober right now. I don't have a problem. Phoebe is my best friend and yes we make out a lot and yes we go to a lot of clubs, but you're not around that much anymore. Monica has Kip. So let me have Pheebs. Let me have my fun. Stop with this. We're not in college anymore. If you want to be my friend, be my friend but don't do this intervention crap."

"This isn't an intervention. Just be careful."

"Leave me alone."

"Fine."

"So….I heard you're going to Disneyland for your belated honeymoon," Chandler said.

Ross smirked a little, knowing to drop it "yeah, me and Carol and her friend Susan, Jonathan and Sam, you remember them from college and-" he stopped. He could say her name. He could mention Lizzie but he wasn't sure he should. He knew Lizzie would kill him and maybe Chandler would be upset, "um….Carol's friend from grad school, Erin." He lied. He could not say Lizzie.

"Erin?"

"Yeah, she's our age and she's got a kid. A two year old, Lauren. She's raising Lauren by herself 'cause the dad is out of the picture."

"Oh, that's rough."

"Yeah. Cute kid though. Would you date a girl who has a kid?" Ross asked, curious.

"Oh, G-d no. First off, me as a father? That kid would be fucked up."

"You never gonna have kids?"

"No. Never. Come on? Me as a father. That's a joke. Is your friend, Erin, hot?"

"Yeah. Actually, I think you'd like her."

"If she didn't have a kid, I'd totally take you up on it."

It took all of Ross' energy to not reach across the table and punch him. If only Chandler knew? He now could never tell Chandler about his friendship with Lizzie. He would have to keep it to himself. He also felt a bit of sadness sitting there with Chandler. He was at a different place in his life now and there was part of him that wondered if his friendship with Chandler had run its course.

After lunch, he headed to the bar where Lizzie worked and ordered a drink. As he watched her with customers, greeting each person with a smile, he felt even more sad. Lizzie seemed to notice and approached him.

"What's wrong, Geller?"

"Had lunch with Chandler."

"Oh."

"I didn't mention you. Actually, I kind of did. I said that I was going to Disneyland with Carol, Susan, Jonathan and Sam….and my friend, Erin."

"I'm Erin?"

"Yep. He's still drinking and apparently Phoebe also drinks a lot and they hang out and go clubbing every night-"

"He doesn't think he has a problem."

"I know and Phoebe doesn't…"

"Look, we can't….what can we do?"

"I know. I just...it makes me sad that maybe my friendship with Chandler has run its course. I can't-"

"I know. It's hard. It is. I get it. So….wait what did he say about Erin?"

Ross laughed, "he was interested until I said she had a two year old."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah, there's not a chance."

"Awww, man. That would have been a fun set up."

Ross laughed, imagining how Chandler would react if he set him up with a girl and the girl turned out to be Lizzie.

"Although, one day I'm going to have to tell him about our friendship."

"I know."

Lizzie smiled at him before turning to help out some other bar patrons. Ross watched her as she continued working.

Soon it was Disney in December. It was fantastic being somewhere a lot warmer than New York in the winter time. It was currently ten degrees in New York but in Southern California, it was seventy degrees. It did not feel real. It felt amazing, no heavy coat would be needed. They got a large hotel suite for all of them to share as none of them could afford their own room. Of course, sharing a suite with a two year old would not be easy but they would make do. Ross had had time to accept the fact that Carol had wanted everyone with them on their honeymoon trip but he had hoped to at least spend some time alone with her. It didn't seem like it would happen though. From the moment they woke up to the moment they went to bed, they were surrounded by people. He wanted a moment and by the end he was getting angry.

While they were able to go on some of the more grown up rides, because of Lauren "It's A Small World" was the ride of choice at least four to five times a day. On the final day, Ross had enough and he wasn't going to hide the fact that he was pissed off.

"If we have do "It's a Small World" again, I'm going to hurt someone," Ross grumbled as they got on the ride again.

"Well, we have a two year old with us so…."

"Yeah, whose idea was that?" Ross asked.

"Why are you in a pissy mood?" Carol asked.

"I'm fine. I'm….okay, because it's our last night, I made reservations at this restaurant that is ridiculously expensive but I figured, it could be a dinner for us and-"

"Well, is it child friendly?" Carol asked.

"Probably not but Lauren is not invited."

"That's not fair."

"She's two, I'm sure she'll get over it."

"Come on, we can't do a private dinner when we have all our friends with us."

"I didn't want them with us in the first place."

"You don't like our friends?" Carol asked.

"I love our friends but not on our honeymoon. We can't afford our room so….well we can't have sex."

"Is that all you think about?"

"With my wife? Yes. We've been married for seven months and I can count the amount of times we've had sex on one hand and that hand has seen more action."

"I thought you would enjoy this," Carol said, "you want kids."

"I do but Lauren is not my kid in fact, why are we even on this ride. Lizzie and Lauren aren't even sitting near us. Why can't we go off on our own, our friends won't mind," Ross said.

"You know what Ross-I-" Carol was going to say something when suddenly the ride stopped. It was seemingly stuck. Ross let out an annoyed sigh.

"Great. I hate Disneyland. Everything crappy happens here," Ross grumbled.

"Well….for you literally," Carol teased.

Ross looked at her and let out a laugh, "well, Space Mountain scared the shit out of me. It took it all out of me."

"True. I wonder if the guy who cleaned it up still works here?"

"I heard that guy is a real shit disturber," Ross said which made Carol laugh.

"I'm sorry I invited everyone. It's….I'm...I'm going through some stuff."

"Like what?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe I kept thinking we moved too fast but I do love you Ross, with all of my heart but…"

"Carol, you can tell me anything."

"I know," Carol said, squeezing his hand. He leaned into kiss her. "Ross, we're on a ride…..for children."

Ross looked around and took in the situation. They were stuck behind some of the mechanical dutch children. They could sneak behind there. He knew he wanted her at that moment and they might be stuck there for awhile. He stood up and stepped out of the boat.

"What are you doing?" Carol asked.

"You wanna?" Ross asked, nodding towards the frozen Dutch children.

"Ross."

"I want a moment. It's our honeymoon. We're not gonna have sex in our room. No one will see us."

Carol grinned and slipped her hand into his. They snuck behind the rows of mechanical Dutch children and made sure they were completely hidden from view. Once they felt safe, the kissing began.

"I love when you're bad," Carol cooed as he kissed her and she gently began spanking him. He loved it when she did that. They began getting completely lost in the moment, whispering to each other, kissing each other and absorbing each other completely and then the music began. They didn't hear it at first. They were just too wrapped up in what they were doing but soon it got louder.

"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all….."

"Oh, crap," Ross muttered as he and Carol stared at each other. Their eyes wide as Carol covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my G-d," Carol said.

They couldn't keep their eyes off each other as they just dissolved into giggling. "You need to put your pants on," she said.

Ross looked down and immediately pulled his pants up and zipped them but the giggling did not stop.

"I'm never gonna be allowed back at Disneyland," Ross said.

"I think that might be a possibility. You do not respect the happiest place on earth."

"I know. We have to get out of here," Ross said.

"How?"' Carol asked.

"I don't know."

Ross and Carol sat up and slowly began to peer around the wooden children when they spotted a familiar face: Lizzie. She was sitting with Lauren who recognized them as well.

"Mommy, look it," Lauren yelled pointing.

"Holy shit," Lizzie said before realizing she could be heard, she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Hey, Liz….you have room for us in there?" Ross asked. Lizzie motioned for them to come over to her boat. They both looked around before quickly scampering down towards Lizzie and getting into two empty seats behind her. Lizzie turned and looked at them.

"What the hell were you two doing?" Lizzie asked.

"It was one of the only things we could do here that didn't have a line," Ross offered. Carol laughed and playfully poked him.

"Oh my G-d, I can't believe you two," Lizzie said, "this is a children's ride."

"Oh don't you be so judgemental. You did it with Chandler in a car in the parking lot of a Burger King," Ross said.

"You did?" Carol asked.

"It was a Wendy's and I can't believe he told you that."

"He's told me. Many times. It's one of his favorite stories. It's right up there with the time he told you that he loved you and you said oh crap….that's actually my favorite story," Ross said.

"You're such a good friend," Carol said.

"I know, right," Ross said.

"Although, I do kinda wish he was here right now," Lizzie mused. "The jokes he'd come up with….his head would explode."

Ross let out a laugh and had to agree with her on that. Chandler would have a field day when he found out this story. He would probably have to tell him. Carol linked her arm in his and placed her head on his shoulder. He liked that she was being affectionate with him. It felt like they were finally acting like a married couple. It was the first time in seven months that he finally felt like they would make it.


	19. Chapter 19

**May 1993-July 1993**

It was one of the more adorable ways to spend an afternoon. Little Lauren was now three years old and Lizzie was throwing her a birthday with about ten other nursery and preschool aged children. She had made brown bagged lunches with the name of each child written on the front. In the lunches were heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chocolate chip cookies, milk and juice boxes. She had set up a little picnic in Central Park. For as much as Lizzie would complain about hard it was to be such a young mother, she seemed to be quite good at it.

"She looks happy," Lizzie said, approaching Ross as he stood watching the kids giggling and talking with each other in a language only understood by other three year olds.

"Yeah. You know, Liz. You're a good mom."

"Thank you. Maybe you and Carol will be next?"

"Maybe. Although I don't know. I mean, Carol is still looking to start her first year of teaching next year and that's supposed to be pretty rough and I'm...well, grad school year number three starts in September."

"You'll make it."

"I hope so. But Monica is going to have a dinner for our one year anniversary-"

"Is Chandler going to be there?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking-"

"Not going."

"You know, it is time to let it go."

"No. Mark my words, I will never be in the same room as him ever again."

"How-you guys were friends for a long time before you dated?"

"I know. He was a big part of my life for nine years."

"So you'll never speak to him again?" Ross asked.

"Nope."

"That's mature."

"I know, right? Is he drinking still?"

"Yes."

"There's the problem," Lizzie said.

"But….this is getting a little ridiculous. I feel like I have two separate lives and…."

"You do. I have to go get the finger paints ready. I don't have time to worry about him."

Lizzie walked off towards a table piled high with construction paper and paint. Ross walked towards Lauren who was sitting with a pink paper crown on her head. She truly was a gorgeous little girl with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. She looked identical to her mom. He sat behind her and watched the group of children interact. Lauren soon noticed Ross. She smiled at him as she got up and plopped herself down in his lap. She had a firm grip on her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She lifted her sandwich towards his mouth and placed it against his lips.

"Eat," she instructed.

Ross laughed as he took a very big bite of her sandwich. Lauren's face turned mad as she stared at him.

"Thank you," Ross said, his mouth full of sandwich.

"Too big bite. My sandwich," Lauren declared.

"I'm impressed she shared with you," Lizzie said approaching them and kneeling beside them. "She's not very good at sharing her food."

"My food, my sandwich, Lauren no share food," Lauren said pointing at herself.

"I think she got it from her father," Lizzie said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, once I took a French fry off his plate, you would have thought I stabbed him in the heart," Lizzie mused.

"What was his name?

"Not telling you, Geller," Lizzie said as she patted him on the back and placed her hands on his shoulders to help push herself up. Ross laughed at he stared up at her.

"You're gonna have to tell me sometime," Ross said.

"No I don't. I haven't spoken to him in four years. Last I heard he was in Los Angeles, trying to be an actor," Lizzie said.

"Oh. Hey, Lauren can I have another bite of your sandwich?" Ross asked.

"No," Lauren declared.

"No?" Ross asked.

"No. You bite big. Lauren's food. No Ross food."

"Awwww, I'm sad," Ross said, pretending to be hurt.

"No," Lauren said.

Ross opened his mouth and pretended to move in on Lauren's sandwich. Lauren placed her tiny hand on his chest and playfully tried to push him away as he kept getting closer. Lauren's anger though dissolved into a fit of giggles as Ross kept trying to play with her and she was having none of it. She was an adorable little girl. Even though Lauren wasn't his, he felt like an uncle to her. As he was playing with her, he noticed someone staring at him. Looking up, he noticed Carol standing off to the side with Susan. They were looking at him. He wanted a Lauren. He wanted a child. That was the next step, of course. They would be married a year soon so maybe the time was now to talk about it, to breach that topic of having a child.

That night, he tried. It had been such a wonderful day. Glorious, surrounded by little kids. The sounds of their giggling still rang in his head. Lauren had a great day, eating and covering herself in paint. He wanted that, a child.

"Today was fun," Carol said as she looked up from her book.

"It was….Carol, I was thinking...do you wanna start? We can have our own little Lauren."

"Oh," Carol said. "But...I mean you're still in grad school and I'm going into my first year of teaching. I can't get pregnant now. I just got a job."

"I know but…."

"I don't want….I don't think we're ready."

"You don't?"

"No."

"We've been married a year."

"It's only a year."

"I understand. But-"

"I wanna wait. I mean, Lauren is cute and you were so sweet with her and she clearly loves you but….being a parent is tough. It's not just birthday parties and playing. I don't know if I'm ready yet. I don't know if we're ready. Let's settle into….why not wait until you're done with grad school."

"That's in four years."

"By then we'll be settled. Right now though. we've got a lot going on. We've got two anniversary parties."

"We do."

"Although, why do we have to hang out with Monica and her friends?"

"She wanted to have a dinner for us. It's nice of her. We could invite Monica to hang with us but Liz doesn't even want Monica knowing we hang out with her."

"We're not friends with them."

"You're not. I am."

"Well, Chandler is still a drunk and that girl that's living with Monica enables him and...it's-"

"It's gonna be fine. We've made it a year."

"Yeah," Carol said, kissing him before turning back to her book. Ross kept staring out into space. He wanted to talk more, wanted to discuss the topic of having kids but Carol wanted no part of it so he knew he would have to drop it.

A few nights later, Ross and Carol arrived at the apartment on Bedford because Monica wanted to make them dinner. As they neared apartment 20, Kip was walking out of his apartment and almost walked into them. Kip and Monica had broken up last December, Ross hadn't known the whole story but he has a feeling Monica's feelings for Chandler ended the relationship because Monica had ended up ringing in 1993 with Chandler and Phoebe and according to Monica had a fantastic time.

"Hey, you two. Happy anniversary," Kip said.

"Thanks, you're not coming to dinner?" Ross asked.

"Got a date but I also wasn't invited," Kip said.

"I'm sorry man and I'm sorry about you and my sister."

"Hey, it's alright. I found a new girl and…..honestly, Monica got what she wanted."

"She's dating Chandler?" Ross asked.

"No, but he is over there pretty much every night. It's like they're the cast of Three's Company. I don't know what the hell they do but they are joined together," Kip said.

"You know what, Kip. Come over tomorrow night, to our place. We're having another dinner party without Monica and Chandler."

"Carol," Ross said, giving her a look.

"Yeah, maybe I will….I'll bring my girlfriend," Kip said.

"Liz will be there," Ross said.

"Dude, I haven't said anything yet. Why would I start now? Besides, they do not talk to me. At all. It's like I'm living alone," Kip said.

"That's awful." Carol said.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Kip said, walking off and disappearing down the hall. Ross looked at Carol, a little annoyed. Kip?

"Carol."

"No, Ross. This is annoying. Kip is a friend."

"He's not mine."

"Well, Chandler's certainly not mine," Carol said before turning to knock on the door. Ross kept thinking of Lizzie at that moment, he'd have to warn her that Kip would be there. Although, he didn't want her to not show up. Maybe he could tell her and then explain that now Chandler, Monica and Phoebe were ignoring him and he was no longer part of the group.

Monica was cooking and Phoebe and Chandler were curled up on the couch. They really did seem like a couple.

"Welcome," Monica said.

Ross noticed that Carol seemed rather uncomfortable standing there. He watched as she walked towards a big chair and sat, looking at Phoebe and Chandler cuddling together.

"So how are you doing? I ran into Kip in the hall," Ross said.

"I'm doing good. It was stupid for me to date Kip. It was never gonna work," Monica said.

"He said Chandler's practically living here?"

"Oh, G-d….kinda. They aren't getting along and it's fun. I went to a club last night."

"Okay….just wanna make sure….Kip has a girlfriend?"

"He moved on quick. I'm much happier. How's married life?"

"Good."

Ross looked over at Carol who was still looking rather uncomfortable. He walked towards the couch and looked over at Phoebe and Chandler, still cuddling.

"You two look cute, how's work Bing?" Ross asked as he sat down on the couch.

"Sucks. Hey, I got a ticket to a Rangers game tomorrow night," Chandler said, "you wanna come?"

"Oh," Ross said, looking at Carol, "we can't. We have dinner plans."

"Take me….but you have to talk to me," Phoebe said.

"No, you don't understand how a hockey game works," Chandler said.

"No, you don't. I've been with you…there were people at the game who spoke to one another," Phoebe said.

"Fine. I will get another ticket then….Mon, you'll come with Pheebs and I?" Chandler asked.

"Of course," Monica said.

"G-d, you guys are like the three musketeers," Carol said.

"I got your sister to go to a club opening," Chandler said.

"Yeah, it was fun," Monica said.

Ross kept looking at Carol who barely spoke most of the evening. It was clear she did not want to be there, she did not want to be interacting with Monica, Chandler or Phoebe. It kind of annoyed him and there was a small part of him that felt a little left out. He was actually missing Chandler. He missed hanging out with him.

The other anniversary dinner was the next night at their apartment. Jonathan, Sam, Lizzie, Lauren, Carol, Susan and of course, Kip and his girlfriend, Ashley. Lizzie was a little freaked.

"You did not tell anyone where you were going right or that I was going to be here?" Lizzie asked.

"They don't talk to me, Liz. So no," Kip said.

"Yeah, they're like really weird. They stare at us and walk away. It's so strange," Ashley said. "I keep telling him he should move out."

"Chandler should move out, I was there first. I didn't even want him as my roommate. Mon made me take him in. Besides, it doesn't really matter anyway. He barely lives there. I probably could rent out his room," Kip said.

"Last night, was ridiculous. It's like they're still in college. They're so immature," Carol said.

"Mommy," Lauren grumbled as she nuzzled her head into Lizzie's lap and covered her face with her hands. "Me nap here."

"Awww, someone's ready for bed," Lizzie said, carefully picking Lauren up so that her head was on Lizzie's shoulder.

"You want me to take her?" Carol asked.

"Thank you, Carol," Lizzie said as she handed Lauren to Carol. Ross watched as Carol held Lauren close to her and rocked her gently as she walked over to a chair and sat with her, rocking the little girl to sleep.

"You're a natural," Lizzie said.

"I am a teacher," Carol said.

"She is cute," Kip said.

"I lucked out," Lizzie said.

"We still don't know who the dad is," Sam said.

"There's no need. She's surrounded by love. The father is nothing," Lizzie said.

"It's not Chandler's." Kip said.

"Nope," Lizzie said. "When will you two have kids?"

"I don't know, probably not for some time" Carol said.

There was an awkwardness in the room. A tension that just felt strange and he wasn't sure he could pinpoint it. He should have been thrilled they had made it an entire year but instead, he felt this weird sense of foreboding. Something was going on.

Then right before the July 4th weekend, it came. That feeling. He was sitting across from Jonathan, eating pizza and discussing an article that a co-worker of Jonathan's was working on for the New York Times.

"What was his name? Ross asked.

"Brian Farber. Apparently, he was found dead in his apartment from an overdose or something. This was like two, three weeks ago and his boyfriend keeps calling and saying there was some mob connection. It's super weird."

"Weird. They just found him?"

"Yeah. So change of topic….the holiday weekend is coming up. You, me, Sam….maybe we can invite Liz….we can rent a beach house or something."

"What?"

"Well, 'cause Carol and Susan are going out of town?"

"What?"

"She didn't tell you?

"No."

"Apparently, Carol, Susan and a group of girls from one of their gym classes or something are going on some trip," Jonathan said.

"On a holiday weekend?" Ross asked.

"Yeah."

Ross let that sink in. That seemed so bizarre. He would have to ask Carol about that when he got back home. Although, after lunch, he was surprised to see Chandler waiting for him outside his apartment. He gave him a look as he neared his door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I realize I never come over and you never come over to my place and I figured I'd stop by and visit."

"Oh, well...thanks. Carol's not home, I guess?" Ross asked.

"No."

Ross opened the door and Chandler followed him in. Chandler plopped himself down on the couch while Ross got a couple beers from the fridge and handed him one.

"So how's your girlfriend?" Ross asked.

"What girlfriend?"

"So Phoebe is not your girlfriend?"

"No. She's awesome though Ross. I've taught her everything."

"She really was homeless for ten years."

"Yeah."

"Chandler," Ross began. Maybe Chandler would be the one to talk to about his worries. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Well, your dad is gay, right?"

"Very much so."

"How...no, never mind."

"Are you gay, Ross?" Chandler asked, smirking.

"No."

"Is Carol?"

"I don't know but...I...never mind. I'm not doing anything for the fourth."

"Well, Phoebe, Monica and I are going to Long Island. Pheebs and I went last year. It was really fun, you and Carol can come."

"It would just be me."

"Just you?"

"Carol is going out of town with some of her friends."

"What?"

"I just found out. I-"

Ross was going to say more when the door opened and shut behind him. Carol was walking back into the apartment. Ross looked over at her and back at Chandler who looked very uncomfortable.

"You're going out of town for the holidays?" Ross asked.

"It's a girls trip. It's not a big deal, Ross."

"But-"

"It's not. Hi, Chandler."

"Hello, Carol. That's a lovely blouse. Might I say that chartreuse is definitely your color," Chandler grinned.

Ross let out a snort as Carol rolled her eyes and walked towards the bedroom. Chandler got up and walked towards the door.

"You know, as much as I love visible tension. I'm gonna go. I'll see you."

"Thanks for the invite," Ross said.

Chandler grinned before walking out. Ross walked back into the bedroom where Carol was reading on the bed.

"I don't….I don't-Carol, I don't think you should go," Ross said.

"Excuse me?" Carol asked, putting her book down.

"I don't think you should go. Well, can I go with you?"

"No. No, Ross, I'm allowed to go out with my friends."

"We're always with our friends. We're a married couple. We should be together."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm not."

"Look, you're making too big of a deal. It's just a trip. Don't worry."

But he was worried. He was very worried. He found it very strange. Why didn't she want him there? He kept thinking something might happen and his mind kept drifting back to Lizzie. She had always hoped she was wrong and for the first time ever, he was thinking she might be right.

He arrived infront of Bedford while Monica was loading the trunk of a car. He did not want to be spending the holiday with his sister, Chandler and Phoebe. He had thought of spending it with Lizzie but he wasn't sure how to turn down Chandler's invite.

"Hi," Ross said.

"Hey, Ross what are you doing here?" Monica asked.

"I invited him," Chandler said as he loaded Monica's suitcase into the trunk.

"Why?" Monica asked.

"Thanks," Ross said.

"Well, no….it's great but where's Carol?"

"She's having a girls weekend with her friend, Susan."

"Oh, Ross," Monica said.

"It's fine….it's okay if I come, right?" Ross asked.

"Of course," Monica said.

"Where's Phoebe?"

"She had to run an errand, she's on her way," Chandler said.

He would put it out of his mind. Maybe he was overreacting. Carol having a girls weekend might be good idea. Maybe he was being too crazy. When Phoebe soon returned, she also looked sad.

"Hey, Mon," Phoebe said.

"Yay, you're here. Now we can go. Are you okay?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Phoebe," Monica said.

"I'll tell you later. Why is Ross here?" Phoebe asked.

"Chandler and Mon told me to come. Carol's friend, Susan invited her to a girls weekend," Ross said.

"On Fourth of July weekend?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah...I mean, it's a good thing. Maybe a weekend getaway is exactly what our marriage needs," Ross said. If he said it enough….

"A weekend away with another woman?" Phoebe asked, giving Monica a look.

"Yeah, maybe they'll talk and do girl stuff..." Ross said, trying to ignore the looks Phoebe and Monica were giving each other.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what they'll be doing. Talking," Monica said.

"Oh, yeah, they'll probably be doing all sorts of girly stuff...like what you see in the movies," Phoebe said.

"What kind of movies are you watching?" Monica asked.

"Probably just the kinds of movies Chandler watches," Phoebe said.

Chandler slammed the trunk shut as he walked towards Phoebe and rested his arm on her shoulder.

"Alright, we are not discussing this," Chandler said, looking at both of them.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Ross...honey, do you think that there might be a possibility that Carol is a lesbian?" Monica asked.

Yes, he wanted to scream. Lizzie thought she was too. Everyone was starting to think that but no, not right now. This was not how his marriage would go.

"No. Don't be ridiculous. She's not a lesbian. We're married...she's not...no...she's not a lesbian," Ross said.

"Alright, if you say so," Monica said.

"Let's get this show on the road. Pheebs, you're driving," Chandler said as he tossed her the keys.

"She doesn't have her license," Ross said.

"Relax, she's in the care of three licensed drivers and I've been teaching her," Chandler said as he got into the passenger's seat.

"Oh, that makes me feel better...have you had her drive into any houses yet?" Ross asked, teasing.

"Okay, it was a poorly constructed house," Chandler said.

"You drove into it," Ross said, smiling.

"I wasn't going that fast and they shouldn't have houses that close to the road," Chandler said.

Phoebe laughed as she got into the driver's seat and Ross jumped in the back next to Monica. Phoebe placed the key in the ignition and looked over at Chandler.

"Alright...so it's an hour and a half away-"

"Yeah. I have the directions. Drive us there," Chandler said.

"The whole way?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes. You're taking the test when we get back," Chandler said.

"Really, you think I'm ready?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah...we've been practicing for five months. You're ready," Chandler said.

"You drove into a house," Ross muttered.

"No one lived there...and you could have pointed it out to me," Chandler argued.

"It's not usually something you think to point out," Ross said.

"Come on, let's go...I wanna go to the beach," Monica said, Phoebe smiled as she turned on the ignition and pulled away from the curb and began driving. Ross and Monica exchanged a look, she was doing well.

"See, there you go. Doing good," Chandler said.

"Thanks," Phoebe said.

Ross' thoughts of Carol halted as he watched Chandler closely. Chandler was watching Phoebe like a hawk, instructing her, showing her how to drive. He hadn't really been a part of Chandler's life for awhile and it occurred to him that his friend was changing. It kinda warmed him and he wanted to tell Lizzie. Of course thinking of Lizzie immediately brought his thoughts back to Carol.

"So you guys really think my wife is a lesbian?" Ross asked.

"I don't think she is," Chandler said, looking back at Ross before turning his concentration back on Phoebe. Ross had to smile a little at that. He knew Chandler's story of when his father told him he was gay, he knew it still tore Chandler up so maybe Chandler felt for him.

"Well...here's the thing, if I were married, I don't think I'd choose to spend a holiday weekend away from my husband," Monica said.

"Hmmm...no, no...she's not a lesbian. No-" Ross tried.

"Ross, maybe she's not. I could be wrong. It's just...I don't know, it's a feeling I've gotten lately," Monica said.

"You were at our wedding...you didn't have that feeling then?" Ross asked.

"No...but maybe she didn't even realize it then?" Monica asked.

"She's not a lesbian," Ross said. He refused. Yes, everyone was telling him differently but no, this was his wife. They would grow old together and that was the end of it.

"Alright...she's not," Monica said. "Good job driving."

"Thank you," Phoebe said.

"Get on the freeway," Chandler said, pointing ahead.

"You're really gonna make me drive the entire way?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, yeah...this is gonna be a fun weekend," Chandler said.

"It will...last year was a lot of fun. Do the Gellers know how wild we get? We went on jet skis," Phoebe said.

"Ross can let loose," Chandler said.

"Are you going to show people your Statue of Liberty again?" Ross asked.

"I might...it is Independence Day," Chandler grinned.

"Warn me ahead of time if you do. Three years later and I'm still working on a way to try to unsee that," Ross said.

"You really did that?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh yeah," Chandler grinned.

"He even sang the Star Spangled Banner," Ross said, purposely leaving out the part where Chandler vomited in the stairwell. As they drove, he realized that he really hadn't played with Chandler in a long time and maybe this trip would be perfect for two reasons. It would renew his friendship with Chandler and help with his marriage. The ride to Long Island was eye opening, he learned Phoebe had a twin whom she had found before coming over to the apartment and her twin, Ursula, did not seem to fond of Phoebe. He also learned just how much Chandler had done for Phoebe ever since she had moved in. He taught her to drive, helped her open a bank account, introduced her to pop culture. It shocked him a little bit how selfless Chandler was being with her. He really was changing.

Once they arrived, he called Carol. He wanted to call Lizzie but he'd have to do that somewhere else and somewhere safer. As he hung up, he walked into Monica's room and collapsed on the bed.

"So?"

"You really think Carol might be a lesbian?"

"I don't know, Ross. I...it's...she spends a lot of time with her friend, Susan and...she's married and...I hope not."

"Same here….so...okay, Chandler and Phoebe? What's the deal?" Ross asked.

"They are friends."

"Are they more? Does he like her? He's doing nice things for another person."

"I know," Monica laughed. "But I think….I think it's...I think they've been through a lot, you know. Stuff we wouldn't understand and he's helping her. He helped her open a bank account and...I think they're just good friends. I think he wants to protect her."

"You still like him though," Ross said, grinning.

"I'm trying not to."

"Why?"

"Because...I just...I don't…he's….he's still drinking."

"Okay."

"You married a lesbian."

"We don't know that. Shut up. Let's go to the beach, catch the lovebirds in action."

"Fuck off," Monica grinned which made Ross laugh. Ross got up and walked into his room and while Monica was getting ready, Ross called Lizzie.

"She's a lesbian," Ross said as Lizzie picked up.

"We don't know that."

"Yes we do. You've been saying it for years. Monica thinks it. Phoebe thinks it. Chandler doesn't."

"Actually, he does….but he doesn't want you to be hurt so-"

"Wait, when did he tell you that?"

"College. I dated him. Remember?" Lizzie asked.

"I know. What-are Carol and Susan-oh-"

"Ross, calm down. Maybe this is nothing."

"But you've said-"

"I know but I'm wrong. I mean, come on. Between Chandler and Lauren's dad, clearly I have a sucky track record of reading people."

"Actually, you'd be impressed with Chandler. He's really helping out Phoebe. He got her a bank account, taught her to drive….he's like ushered her into adulthood."

"Don't tell me that."

"I thought you'd like that."

"Yes but telling me that makes me regret breaking up with him and makes me want to tell him I love him and...I can't."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm glad he's taking care of her."

"Lizzie, what am I gonna do? I don't want this to be over."

"I know. I don't think...I don't know what...I don't...if something happens, I will be there for you."

"Love you, Liz."

"I know. Right back at you. You're gonna be okay, don't freak out. Enjoy Long Island."

"You should be here."

"No."

Ross laughed as he and Lizzie ended their conversation. Ross soon joined Monica as they walked out to the beach to join Chandler and Phoebe. The weekend was absolutely perfect. He tried to stop thinking about Carol. He focused on being part of the group and the weekend ended with the four of them sitting on the deck of a restaurant, watching fireworks, eating nachos and drinking margaritas.

"This was a fun weekend, I'm glad I did this," Ross said.

"We're glad you're here. Chandler missed you," Monica said.

"I didn't miss you," Chandler said, glaring at Monica but she didn't care. She was feeling playful.

"He did, he did. He said he had no guy friends," Monica grinned.

"I never said that...oh, bite me," Chandler said.

"You thought we weren't friends anymore?" Ross asked, chuckling, although he felt a little sad about that.

"I-I-I'm going to kill you," Chandler said.

"Oooo," Monica started laughing "Alright, Ross...I think that I'm gonna get Ross a drink to cheer him up. Chandler, wanna join with me?"

"Are we getting him that drink?" Chandler asked.

"I want to," Monica said nodding as she stood up and walked back in the restaurant leaving Phoebe and Ross alone. Ross took a sip of his margarita as he looked over at Phoebe.

"How did you know Chandler?" Ross asked.

"I met him because I moved in with Monica."

"Come on."

He was starting to believe that there was nothing between Chandler and Phoebe except a deep friendship but there was something else that was bugging him. He had a hard time believing that Chandler and Phoebe's friendship had begun when Phoebe moved in. Chandler just seemed to be going above and beyond for this girl and he wondered if there was a reason.

"I met him once on a subway."

"Oh...are you two together?" Ross asked, still thinking there was more but not quite wanting to push or at least not too much.

"No...no...although, I think he likes your sister."

"No he doesn't."

"I think he does."

"Chandler and my sister? Doubt it," Ross said, although of course not believing that. He knew the feeling was mutual but he didn't want to tell Phoebe he agreed.

"Alright, it's a feeling I get."

"No...although, on another note...it is pretty impressive. What you've pulled yourself through. I don't think you're playing a victim at all."

"Thank you, Ross."

"Alright, Ross," Monica said as she and Chandler walked back to the table carrying the drinks."If you're gonna hang us, you need to drink that."

"What? That's ridiculous," Ross said, finding that annoying.

"Drink it. I'll give you fifty bucks if you chug it," Chandler said.

"Alright, you're on, buddy,"Ross said as he brought the glass to his lips and chugged before he began hacking, spitting half the drink out. "What the hell is this?"

"Slow death. It's got everclear, rum...you're part of us now," Monica grinned.

Ross laughed as the four continued drinking and enjoying themselves. It was a nice weekend, a nice break. When he returned to reality, Carol was still out of town. He called Lizzie and she came over, immediately bringing Lauren with her. Ross cracked open a bottle of wine and poured two glasses while getting some snacks for Lauren. Lizzie had brought a VHS copy of Beauty and the Beast which was Lauren's current favorite movie. She set it up and the three sat on the couch. Lauren sat in between them trying to repeat all the lines in the movie while Ross looked sadly at Lizzie. Lizzie smiled sadly back as he placed his head on her shoulder and she gently tried to comfort him.


	20. Chapter 20

September 1993

Third year of grad school and between that and Carol's first month having her own classroom, things were busy. More than busy. They were barely in the same room together. They were both out the door by 6, 7 in the morning and by the time he got back home by 8 or 9 at night, she was asleep. He felt like he was losing her. The separation though had begun even before September. Ever since they had gotten back from the July 4th weekend, it seemed like they were living in different worlds. He was spending more time with Chandler though, hearing him complain about Kip leaving. Chandler was trying desperately to find a new roommate and Ross was laughing hearing about the potential roommates that were wanting to move in with him. It was soon becoming his favorite part of the day.

"I just hate people. I hate people," Chandler said.

"I know, you've hated people for years."

"I know, right? It's your dumb sister who's making me look for a roommate. She's like 'oh, I don't want you being alone'. Whatever."

"Well, I kinda don't want you living alone either," Ross said, agreeing with Monica. There was just something that concerned him about Chandler being left completely alone with his thoughts.

"Bite me."

"Well, maybe you can go to the junkyard and pick up a homeless guy. That's how Mon found Pheebs. Worked out well."

"Dude, Pheebs came to us. Although, Phoebe is moving out."

"Really?"

"Don't tell Monica. She's doing it secretly but apparently Monica has driven Phoebe crazy and Pheebs said that she wants to continue being friends with Monica and that won't happen if she lives with her."

"Oh….well, Monica is difficult. I wouldn't want to live with her. I mean, I did. I don't have to do it again. How are you doing with Phoebe moving out, though?"

"I was worried. I-I don't know….but I don't think she'll abandon me. I don't think I've lost my partner in crime."

"Hardly, she loves you," Ross said. He knew how Chandler was and it made him think of the July 4th Weekend. Monica had said Chandler was worried that Ross was no longer his friend. "You know I'm still your friend, right?"

"Yes," Chandler said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just saying."

"I asked Pheebs if she could live with me. She said that would be too awkward."

"I can see that."

"What am I gonna do? How's marriage, by the way?"

"I don't know. Carol and I don't really talk anymore. We're busy but….do you really think she's a lesbian."

"I-what?"

"Honestly. Be honest. Monica, Phoebe, they think it...everyone thinks it."

He wasn't going to add that Lizzie told him Chandler had once told her he thought it.

"Well, okay...I'll be honest. It's….she doesn't like to spend a lot of time with you and okay...I mean, granted my last relationship was Lizzie but when we were together, I think she liked to spend time with me….alone. A lot. I told you about Wendy's, right?"

"Yes, many times."

"It was fun. I mean, I basically pinned her up-"

"I don't need to hear it again."

"But it's an amazing story."

"I understand."

"It's been really long time."

"I thought you've been hooking up with Pheebs?"

"No sex. Sex I have not had in a long time….it eludes me, much like my own personal happiness and mental stability," Chandler said.

"That's lovely. Well, go out on a date. No one's stopping you."

"Wrong. The entire female population is stopping me. You know, I was thinking of Lizzie the other day."

"You were?"

"Yeah, I miss her. I really screwed that one up. I wonder where she is? I would ask her out again."

"I-I…." Ross stopped. He could tell him. He could tell him that he knew exactly where Lizzie was but that thought made him nervous. He couldn't do it. It would make Chandler upset, it would upset Lizzie. Maybe he needed to keep it quiet. One day, he would tell Chandler but today would not be that day.

After lunch, he headed home just as Lizzie and Lauren were heading in his direction. Ross stopped and waited for them to approach. As soon as they did, Lauren immediately launched into her numbers as if she had been waiting all day to present him with this information.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5….." Lauren began.

"Someone learned counting," Ross said.

"Yes. Over and over again. Oh, and….Lauren, show Ross your picture," Lizzie said.

Lauren stopped counting and handed him a piece of pink construction paper. On it was a picture of girl with wild black hair, an orange nose and blue circles for eyes. Next to it, Lauren had written her name.

"It's me," Lauren said.

"Good job," Ross said.

"Yep and she wrote her own name, all by herself. Look at how good the letters are. Clearly, my child is a genius….she takes after me," Lizzie said happily. "'Cause I don't think her father knows the alphabet."

"He doesn't know it?" Lauren asked, her eyes open wide.

Lizzie cringed, "oh, I forgot….she's at a listening age. I have to stop saying mean things about her dad in front of her….no, honey, he knows it. Mommy was just was just joking."

"It's numbers he has problems with," Ross joked, which made Lizzie laughed.

"Yes, especially the ones that are used to call me on the telephone. We are so gonna mess her up," Lizzie laughed.

"We?"

"You're involved."

"Ross, me count. Listen, listen," Lauren said.

"Take her," Lizzie said, sounding a little annoyed as Ross laughed, taking Lauren from Lizzie's arms and Lauren proceeded to count the entire way up to the apartment. Maybe because he hadn't heard it as often as Lizzie apparently had that day, but there was something still very sweet about hearing her voice. Hearing her count the same numbers over and over, it made him almost ache. He wanted his own Lauren. His own sweet little girl.

"So, I had lunch with Chandler today," Ross said as he and Lizzie set Lauren up on the floor with some markers and construction paper and plopped themselves on the couch.

"Really?"

"He misses you."

"I miss him too."

"He's looking for a new roommate."

"Oh, that'll be the best. Hey, Chandler...I don't want to get back together with you but can my child, whom I had with another man, and I move in?"

"I would watch that show."

"So how's marriage?"

"I don't know and by they way, I asked Chandler if he thought honestly that Carol was a lesbian and he did….he thinks it's kinda strange she doesn't ever wanna hang out with me and he did say that you liked spending time with him-"

"Which I did. I miss laughing. He….I don't think anyone has made laugh that hard and like side hurting, I can't stop….laughing, I miss that."

"And then he did mention Wendy's."

"He's never gonna let the one go, is he?"

"No…..what if...Liz, I want this to work. I want to have a Lauren of my own. I mean, I know it's tough but she's sweet. Very sweet….and artistic. That's actually not a bad picture," Ross said, picking up Lauren's preschool self portrait from the coffee table.

"She gets that from her dad."

"Whoa, you said something nice about him."

"I know. Her dad does have a good heart, very sweet and very talented. He's a good actor and….also artistic too. He one time drew me a picture of a naked woman that was...it was remarkable….and detailed."

"Can you tell me his name?"

"No."

"Does Lauren know his name?"

"No."

"Are you ever gonna tell her?"

"Someday. When she's older, maybe….I don't know how to tell her because her dad actually is a good person. He just….it's complicated."

"I hear you."

"If it ends, I'll be here for you you. You know that, right? You helped me pick up the pieces when Chandler and I broke up. That was hard and I'll return the favor."

"Thank you."

Lizzie reached over and gently squeezed his arm. He smiled back as he looked over at Lauren who was coloring. He could feel his heart almost break watching her. In his gut, he knew. He just knew.

He didn't want to go home. It was late September and his day had begun at about seven am. He had classes that began at 8 and then work at the museum. His schedule was busy but did slow down around seven, he could have gone home but he didn't want to. He stayed in a small office, doing his work but his bosses told him to go home. Walking out into the New York night, it was getting cold. His twenty fourth birthday was a few weeks away. Lizzie had already decided there would be a dinner. Monica had also decided the same thing. He had two lives now. Two very different lives. He was tempted to head over to Monica's. She had gone to a wedding the night before for her old high school friend, Ellie, maybe Ross could head over and see how it had gone. Maybe not.

Instead he headed home. He walked into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. He put his key in the lock and opened the door. Carol and Susan jumped back, as if stunned to see him standing there. He had walked in on something.

"What's going on?" Ross asked.

Carol and Susan looked at each other and back at Ross. Susan stood up and walked towards him, squeezing his arm as she walked out. His heart fell to his stomach as Carol stared at him, her eyes glistening. The room was dim, yet he could see every emotion on her face.

"Ross."

"No."

"Ross, we have-"

"No," Ross said, shaking his head.

"Ross."

"Please don't," Ross said, as he walked over to the couch.

"We have to. I am so sorry, Ross."

"We've been together for six years. We're married. Why didn't you tell me this before?" Ross asked.

"I didn't….I-" Carol tried.

"I've asked you. Lizzie, Chandler, Monica, everyone has said something to me…are you gay?'

"Yes."

"Oh."

"I didn't….I've known….you don't understand, Ross. My family will disown me. I'm not allowed to be this."

"What?"

"I-my-I-I can't-you know my parents? You know their views-"

"Have you told them?"

"No."

"Well, you're gonna have to."

"I know."

"How come you couldn't tell me? Screw your parents and their views which are dumb, why not tell me before we got married? Why couldn't you tell me that you were having these thoughts? When Lizzie said something or Monica or Chandler, why did you say they were wrong? I trusted you Carol."

"I'm sorry."

"Wait, you and Susan?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"Awhile."

"How long?"

"Since the summer. July 4th when she and I went away with some other friends. I cheated on you."

"Two months."

"Yes," Carol said. She was sobbing and so was Ross.

"I'm not even twenty four yet. We're gonna have to divorce."

"I know. I'm so sorry-"

"Why didn't you-I trusted you. You were my first my girlfriend, you were my first everything, Carol. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I didn't mean for it to happen. It just happened and it was bad. I know. I know it's all bad but I didn't want to….I didn't want….I wasn't-ready."

"I get that but now my life is fucked up."

"I don't know what else to say. I love you, Ross. I do and my feelings for you are so deep and real and….I wasn't using you. I was….hiding and I can't hide anymore and-and Susan and I are going to move in together and-"

"I have to get out of here," Ross said getting up and walking towards the door. He needed to get out of there. He felt suffocated.

"What? Ross, where are you going?"

"I don't know but if-I don't wanna say anything I'll regret."

Ross walked out of the apartment. He could feel the wind knocked out of him. He felt nauseous as he walked down the steps. Maybe he should have said something to Carol, maybe he should have stayed but he felt the walls closing him on him.

Instead of walking towards the bar across the street, he headed to the bar under Monica's building. He noticed Phoebe sitting alone at the bar. He opened the door and walked in, he had never really been alone with her. Phoebe turned and looked at him.

"Hey," Phoebe said, "Chris said I could lock up. His wife went to labor. He also said we could drink stuff, just keep track of it and pay him tomorrow."

"Oh. Great."

"Are you okay?"

"My marriage is over," Ross said, rather plainly.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

Ross walked over to the pool table and leaned against it as Phoebe stared at him, stunned.

"Carol's a lesbian and I'm not one and apparently it's not a mix and match situation."

"Oh, Ross."

"So you guys were right."

Phoebe walked over to him and hugged him. He breathed her in as she held him, tightly. She was good at hugging. He never really took Phoebe in but in the year that he had known her, she had indeed cleaned up nicely. Her long blonde hair was in curls and she was was very cute. Looking at her, you wouldn't think she had lived the life she had lived. She was so positive about it, so brave. She knew who she was. She wasn't struggling with her identity. She was so aware.

"There needs to be more people like you, Pheebs."

"Ross."

"No, I'm serious. You are brave and courageous and you don't hide from you or what you've been through."

"You're sweet."

They stared at each other, Phoebe continuing to comfort him. She gently touched him, touched his cheek. He wanted to get rid of this feeling, wanted to not feel this pain and before either one of them knew it, their lips were touching. They were kissing as they fell onto the pool table. He hovered over her and held her but it was awkward, it was uncomfortable and the moment was ruined by the pool balls. A comment was made about balls getting in the way which led to laughter.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Phoebe said, staring up at Ross.

"Probably not smart," Ross said. "I just wanna feel something else."

"I know," Phoebe said.

"I'm happy you're here."

"You are?"

"Of course. You calmed Mon down, you've made Chandler less self absorbed…..you've been a great addition and I'm honored to be your friend."

"You're gonna make me cry, Ross."

"I'm sorry."

"No, thank you."

Just then, the door swung open and Phoebe and Ross immediately sat up. Ross wiped his face as he turned to see Monica, Chandler and some guy he had never met before walk into the bar. The guy had black hair and was wearing a leather jacket.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked.

"My marriage is over," Ross said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"What? Oh, by the way...this is Joey Tribbiani. My new roommate," Chandler said.

Ross and Phoebe shook hands with him but the introductions were short. He was not in the mood to make nice and soon he was sitting at a table with Monica while Chandler, Joey and Phoebe were hanging out by the pool tables.

"I'm so sorry," Monica said, comforting Ross.

"I should've known," Ross said or he should have gone with his gut.

"No, no and Carol didn't know…..look, it will be okay."

"My marriage is over. I am divorced before the age of twenty five," Ross said, although it was even before twenty four. Everything seemed just so bad.

"I know."

"Why didn't you tell me what you thought before the wedding?" Ross asked although he wasn't sure why. Monica had mentioned her fears before or maybe Carol had told her no.

"Because Carol said no, she wasn't and it's not my place to say….yeah, I think your fiancee is gay but get married anyway. Carol said she wasn't. I'm not going to question that and I'm really sorry."

"I know. She's moving out. She's moving in with her friend, Susan."

"Well, if you want...I have an extra room. Phoebe moved out."

"Maybe. That Joey guy seems nice."

"Yeah he does and he and Chandler are getting along really well so….lose a wife, gain a new friend?" Monica tried.

"Mmmm," Ross groaned as Monica continued to comfort him.

"Rachel's getting married."

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"I talked to her last night. She's getting married. We aren't invited."

"Great. Well, guess she's moved on. Hope she's happy."

"It's going to be okay, Ross."

"How?"

"You've got me and Chandler….Pheebs….Joey. Joey is far nicer than Kip, although he did strip naked today."

"Why?"

"I asked him in for lemonade and he took off his pants."

"As one does."

"He thought it was a come on."

"Hmmm," Ross said.

"Hey, play with us," Joey yelled towards them.

"Oh, you don't wanna play with them," Chandler said.

"They're super competitive," Phoebe said.

"We're not competitive, we're just that good," Monica retorted.

"I don't care….play with us," Joey said.

"Come on, Ross," Monica said.

"I don't want to," Ross said.

"It'll help get your mind off of everything," Monica said.

"Or we can have Monica and Phoebe make out," Joey said.

"No, that will get his mind on things," Chandler stressed.

"Lesbians help people get through tough times," Joey said.

"Not if they're divorcing them," Chandler argued.

Ross couldn't help but laugh. It was obvious to Ross that Chandler had found a brother. He thought they were very funny.

"Alright, let's go. Mon and I against the three of you," Ross said as the two got up to join the rest of them as they played pool and laughed.

"Alright, dude…these are the balls and this," Chandler said, picking up two blue pool balls, "might hit a little too close home and-"

"Whoa, you think they both are that color?" Joey asked.

"How could they not be? His wife is a lesbian, she's not doing him," Chandler said.

"Boys, shut up," Monica said.

"I know. They are bad people," Phoebe said.

"We're being honest," Chandler said.

"No, dude those are describing your balls," Ross shot back, "how long has it been?"

"Oh, burn," Joey said.

"You're on my side, man," Chandler said.

"Ehh," Joey said as they continued playing pool. He liked hanging out with them, Joey and Chandler made him laugh while Monica and Phoebe comforted him. At the the end of the evening, Monica told him to spend the night. Ross didn't want to though, he wanted to go home. He wanted to go somewhere else. He promised his sister he would be okay. He would be at her place tomorrow for brunch. When he got home, Carol was sleeping on the couch. He walked over to her and gently shook her awake.

"Where were you?" She asked, staring at him.

"At my sister's. We played pool. Chandler's got a new roommate."

"Oh."

"Made out with Phoebe."

Carol gave him a weak smile, "I didn't need to know that."

"Hey, if you could make out with a woman, so can I."

"Touche. Ross, I love you so much. You're my best friend and it's gonna kill me to end this but it needs to and I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. Let's go to bed."

Carol nodded as she sat up. Ross took her hand and they retreated to their bedroom. As they lay down together, Ross held on to her. He knew he was losing her, it was the end but for those moments, he lay beside her and remember what they once had.

"We'll have It's a Small World," Ross muttered.

"It will always beat the parking lot behind the Burger King."

"Wendy's."

"Wendy's. I'm gonna spend the night at Susan's tomorrow," Carol said.

"I don't….not now."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Ross."

"I know."

They slowly fell asleep. He want to hold onto those fleeting moments. Those moments would soon be ending. When they would wake up the next morning, Carol would be going to Susan's and they would officially be separated. Their marriage would end and divorce would be filed but that night they didn't to think about it. Now, they would just sleep.

Carol left the next morning and Ross had brunch with Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. He couldn't really pay attention to anything that was going on. He couldn't focus. Chandler and Joey seemed liked they were automatic best friends which made him feel strangely left out. He felt like didn't belong anymore or didn't fit in. He just wanted to be left alone.

After brunch, he went home despite protests from Monica. He just needed to collect his thoughts. Although, after reaching his place he made a turn. He took a cab to Lizzie's place and walked up to her door, knocking. Lizzie opened the door and looked at Ross.

"She came out. My marriage is over."

"Oh my G-d," Lizzie said, ushering him. "I'd offer you wine but it's 9a."

"You were right."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Where's Lauren?"

"Still sleeping. She's in her room."

"It's over," Ross said.

Lizzie walked over to him and hugged him, tightly. She looked up at him and gently kissed him on the cheek. He looked at her. He felt the same closeness to Lizzie that he had felt with Phoebe the night before. He leaned down to Lizzie and kissed her. She kissed back until she stepped back.

"Ross, no."

"Lizzie….I don't want to feel what I'm feeling."

"No. No, it's...Chandler and I dated for almost six years, we were best friends for nine years. I can't….he's would be so angry if we hooked up, he's already gonna be pissed that we've been friends for three years without telling him."

"Then come with me and tell him. Please, just come with me. I'm meeting him, Mon, Chandler and Pheebs at the bar under Mon's place later. You'll meet Chandler's new roommate."

"I-"

"I need you today. No more secrets, please."

"Okay, my sister can watch Lauren."

"Thank you."

Lizzie gives him another hug and he kisses her forehead. They stood in Lizzie's kitchen until they heard Lauren yelling for her mom. Lizzie stepped back and Ross grabbed her hand. She looked at him and shook her head before walking towards Lauren's bedroom. Soon she emerged with the sleepy three year old and began to get her ready for breakfast. He sat with Lauren and Lizzie. He loved watching Lizzie with the little girl.

"You're an amazing mom."

"Thanks and you'll be an amazing dad. Just not now."

Ross nodded as Lizzie placed Lauren's breakfast in front of her. Ross let out a sigh. He felt so miserable, so very miserable. This was not what he wanted for his life.

He spent the next few hours hanging with Lauren and Lizzie, watching videos and relaxing. It felt nice being there, he almost felt like he was part of a family. When Lizzie's sister arrived to babysit Lauren, Ross and Lizzie left to take a cab towards the bar. When they reached it, suddenly Lizzie froze staring into the window of the bar.

"I can't go in," Lizzie said.

"What?" Ross asked, looking in the window. He saw Joey and Chandler playing pool, Monica and Phoebe drinking. The bar was packed for a Sunday. He figured there was some sort of game later.

"I can't go in Ross."

"Lizzie, you said that you'd see Chandler."

"It's not Chandler."

"Then what-"

"Lauren's father is in there."

Ross turned and looked in the bar and back at Lizzie, confused. There were about twenty or so guys in the bar at that moment. It could be any one of them. "Who?"

"Look, I'll talk to you later Ross. I can't it's too messed up. Just come by later-"

"But-"

"No. Look, I gotta go. I'm sorry," Lizzie said, hugging him and giving him a quick kiss before racing off. He stood rooted to the spot. He let out a sigh and walked into the bar and towards Joey and Chandler. Maybe this is what he needed? He wasn't sure but at the moment it felt like everything was falling apart.


	21. Chapter 21

**October 1993-December 1993**

Thank goodness for having your birthday on a Monday. After Carol had told him about Susan, she moved out. He was alone in the apartment. Monica had wanted him to move out or at the very least stay in her apartment while he looked for a new place. He declined, he just wanted to be left alone and he was thrilled his birthday fell on a Monday so he could concentrate on work or at least try. There was also Lizzie. Even though Liz still would not hang out with him if he was hanging with Chandler, she wasn't completely out of his life. She was keeping her word and being there for him. She wouldn't talk about what had happened that day outside the bar and he had stopped asking. He liked that she was just there and she would bring Lauren with her. They would sit together in the commissary, eating sandwiches and he would complain.

"I still think you should get out of that apartment," Lizzie said.

"I love that apartment. No, it's my apartment."

"I know. Have you talked to Carol?"

"No. No, I haven't. I can't believe this is over. I'm twenty-four and divorced. I've never dated anyone else. How do I even do that?"

"Don't do it now but eventually….look, when Chandler and I broke up, I had to mourn our relationship….while pregnant. But I didn't date anyone."

"Have you dated anyone?"

"I've tried….but no. Most twenty-four-year-old guys don't want to date a girl with a kid, regardless of how cute she is," Lizzie said, looking over at Lauren who was crumbling her sandwich in her hands. Lizzie leaned over and began ripping it apart for her.

"I would. I would definitely date a girl with a kid."

"If the girl wasn't me, would you feel the same?"

"Sure."

"Ross, come on."

"You and I should date."

"Ross."

"Come on, it would be awesome."

"Okay, let's go tell Chandler that. I can't and besides, you only want to date me so you can feel better. That's why. You will figure it out. I swear."

"This is the worst birthday ever," Ross said.

"Well, come on….the next marriage will work. I swear. You just need to date."

"So do you. Do you have Lauren's Halloween costume picked out?" Ross asked.

"Yep. She's gonna be a Care Bear. I found a cute little pink Care Bear costume. It was between that and a bumble bee. I hope she lets me dress her for Halloween forever."

"Can I come with you when you take her trick-or-treating?" Ross said.

"Yes."

"Can I have her as my child?" Ross asked, giving her a slight grin.

"No, you don't want her as your kid. She doesn't share food and she can be moody and….and I think she's gonna be an actress."

"She's still cute. Mon is having a birthday dinner for me tonight. You wanna come? I know I shouldn't ask, but you can meet Chandler's roommate. He's actually a pretty cool guy. Last night, we were making fun of how Chandler watches hockey games. He went with Chandler to a Rangers game last week and said that Chandler refused to speak to him the entire game."

"It's the weirdest thing. I don't get it. I brought a book to read once."

Ross laughed at that,"seriously?"

"Yes. He would not speak to me until it was over. It was so strange."

"I know. We kept telling him that he was not actually playing," Ross said.

"Doesn't matter."

"But you're not gonna come tonight?" Ross asked.

"No. I'm sorry, Ross. I can't. I'm over Chandler. I am. It's not that….I just want to move on and it would be so dramatic and take away from your birthday. You will still come trick or treating with me and Lauren, okay. I just….I need to move on."

"I understand. You know, Rachel Green is getting married. Monica found out last month. I kind of miss her. Pathetic, right?"

"No. Not at all."

Ross smiled weakly as he let out a sigh. He felt so hollow. There were steps, apparently, grieving steps after all he was mourning the death of a marriage. Denial, anger, bargaining….he could totally be a lesbian. He liked women. He was far from acceptance.

After work, he headed straight to Monica's and up to her apartment for the birthday dinner. He wasn't ready to go home yet. Monica welcomed him in. Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey were sitting at the kitchen table playing Operation.

"No, no….you're killing him," Phoebe whined as Chandler was carefully extracting the funny bone. "Be careful."

"Stop yelling at me. You're the worst," Chandler grumbled.

"No, you're the worst. You're killing Bob," Phoebe said.

"You've named him?" Joey asked.

"Yes, I have. His name is Bob Michaels and he's an accountant on Wall Street and he has a wife named, Mary and two children named, Meg and John," Phoebe said.

"He's not an accountant. He has no clothes," Joey said.

"Well, duh….we're operating on him," Phoebe said.

"You two need to stop. I'm trying to remove the funny bone," Chandler said.

"His or yours? 'Cause yours was removed a long time ago," Ross grinned.

"Nice," Joey said.

"Hey, asshole….how's the wife?" Chandler asked, giving him a look which made Ross laugh. He knew he earned that one as he sat down at the table.

"How are you?" Monica asked, handing him a beer.

"I'm...as good as can be. I've always dreamed of being divorced by twenty-four," Ross said.

"I wish you'd move out of that apartment," Monica said.

"It's my apartment," Ross said.

"I have an extra room," Monica said, pointing towards Phoebe's old room.

"I would kill you," Ross said.

"That's why I moved out," Phoebe mused.

"You know what, you guys….you….I mean, if I wasn't living here, all of y'all would starve. I keep each one of you alive so bite me," Monica said.

Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross exchanged looks and shrugged. It was true. They really couldn't argue. Chandler turned back to the game and successfully removed the funny bone from Bob.

"We should go out tonight," Monica mused.

Ross looked at her, as did the rest of them. Monica suggesting they go out was strangely out of character. She wanted go out.

"Go where? 'Cause I think The Container Store is closed," Chandler said.

"No, it's not….it's opened for another hour and a half but that's not it. Let's go to a club," Monica said.

"You wanna go to a club?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah," Monica asked. "I mean, it might be fun. You're right, you're twenty four, Ross."

"Maybe you can hook up with someone," Joey said.

"I don't wanna hook up with anyone," Ross said.

"Of course you do," Joey said.

"You know, I'm still technically married," Ross said.

"Ehhh," Joey said. "Technically…..what does that even mean?"

"Are you asking seriously or just saying that? 'Cause in the month we've been roommates, I've realized that's an important question," Chandler said.

"I know what it means. It means you're a butt," Joey said.

"You're a butt," Chandler said.

"Let's go," Ross said.

"What about Bob?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler grinned and took the tweezers and touched the metal edges which made the buzzing sounds. Phoebe looked stunned as the rest of them laughed. Chandler killed Bob.

The five headed out to a club in Manhattan and soon found drinks and an area to sit. It felt kinda nice sitting there with the music pulsating around him. It took his mind briefly off Carol. He liked watching his friends have fun. Monica and Chandler were dancing as were Joey and Phoebe and he liked just watching them. Monica and Chandler soon joined him on the couch, drinks in hand.

"Why aren't you dancing?" Monica asked.

"Just enjoying myself. So Bing, Joey seems like a good roommate," Ross said.

"Yeah...although...and I don't wanna tell you two this because I know what you'll say….but I paid rent this month. All of it, utilities too….Joey said he couldn't afford it," Chandler said.

Ross looked at him and then back at Joey dancing with Phoebe. He knew why Chandler didn't want to say anything. Ross and Monica were always convinced that Kip and Gandalf took advantage of Chandler because of his money.

"Well….I mean, it's only been a month," Ross said. "He just moved in and he's an actor."

"True."

"I also don't think this is like Kip and Gandalf. I think Joey's a good roommate for you. Money aside, I think he's what you need. You guys are like twelve year olds when you're together," Monica said.

"Alright….I like the guy. He's a cool guy and dude, I'm really sorry about you and Carol."

"Thanks. It's just….this is not how I expected to spend my birthday and I haven't even told our parents," Ross said.

"You haven't?" Monica asked.

"I don't even know to start that conversation," Ross said.

"You have to tell them," Monica said.

"Why?" Ross asked. "They'll find out eventually."

"Ross," Monica said.

Ross shook his head as Phoebe and Joey joined them with a round of shots. He knew he would have to tell them. He knew he would have to say something, but he just couldn't. He couldn't admit it. He had failed at marriage. A huge failure. He hated having to admit to that and telling his parents meant it would be true, it would make it real.

He would not move out. He refused. He would stay late at work or go hang out with Lizzie or with Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. He would go over Monica's list of potential roommates, telling her that she should not have homeless people live with her. After all, even though she had lucked out once, she might not luck out again. He even liked hanging out with Chandler although sometimes he felt left out. Chandler and Joey were incredibly close. They were joined at the hip, often playing or doing things together. He liked that Chandler had a best friend, but he felt a twinge of loneliness. Carol had been his best friend. He had his group, but now they were falling apart. He still had Jonathan and Sam. Jonathan had dated Susan so the two could complain about Susan and Carol.

"Have you even talked to them?" Jonathan asked over beers and pizza. It was now November and he was having get together with Jonathan, Sam, Lizzie and Lauren.

"Nope. Have you?" Ross asked.

"No," Jonathan said.

"You haven't talked to Carol in two months? That's not….what-"

"What am I gonna say to her?" Ross asked, cutting Lizzie off, "the marriage is over. I haven't even told my parents yet."

"How have you not told your parents?" Jonathan asked.

"I-because-they-I just-I am going to be divorced at twenty four. This is not how I've planned my life and I...I don't-" Ross began when the doorbell rang. The group looked at each other. Lizzie instinctively got up and picked Lauren up from her spot where she was brushing her doll's hair. She walked into the bedroom as Ross walked towards the door and opened it to see Susan and Carol standing there.

"Why did you ring the bell?" Ross asked.

"It felt like the thing to do. Can I come in?" Carol asked.

"Fine," Ross said, stepping aside. He looked towards the bedroom and yelled, "Liz, you can come out it's just Carol and Susan." He then looked over at Carol and Susan, "hey, you two know something about that, right?"

"Don't be an ass," Susan said.

"You're the one sleeping with my wife," Ross said.

"Guys. Ross, can I talk to you? Please," Carol said.

Lizzie walked out of the bedroom and placed Lauren back down on the floor. There was a thick layer of tension floating over the room, so obvious that Lauren got up and held on to Lizzie's leg.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Lauren asked, looking up at Lizzie.

"Uh, nothing sweetie," Lizzie said, picking her back up.

"Just lesbians talking about screwing over-" Ross began.

"Ross, if you finish that sentence-" Lizzie said.

"I'll kill him," Susan said.

"Metaphorically, you've already done that," Ross said.

"Guys, Ross please I need to talk to you," Carol said.

"Fine." Ross said as he walked off towards the bedroom. Carol followed and he shut the door behind him and sat on the bed. Carol kept staring at him.

"Ross-"

"Why is Susan here?"

"Because she wanted to come….I wanted to talk to you-"

"You could've called."

"You would have hung up on me."

"You're probably right, although, you know you never called me last month to wish me a Happy Birthday….or was you telling me that you were leaving me for another woman my birthday gift."

"Please don't be a jerk."

"I get the right to be a jerk."

"I'm sorry. I know you're angry and you have every right to be but...I have another favor. Have you told your parents?" Carol asked.

"No. I was gonna tell them during Thanksgiving. I thought that would be the perfect time to tell them. Like, hey….guess what I'm thankful for? My wife is a lesbian and I'm getting a divorce. Pass the turkey."

"Can I come with you?" Carol asked.

Ross was taken aback by that question. He had not spoken to Carol in two months and now she wanted to come to Thanksgiving with him? That was so bizarre.

"What? With Susan?"

"No. Just you and me….as we did last year."

"We were married last year."

"We're still married."

"Does Susan know what you're asking?" Ross asked.

"No. I told her I was picking up some stuff and….please…"

"Do you know what you're asking?" Ross asked.

Carol sat next to him, tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. She kept crying as she wrung her hands together.

"I haven't told my parents that I'm gay and I can't come out to them, Ross. You know and I'm not ready….I mean-"

"No."

"No?"

"Carol, I'm not lying to my parents. Besides Monica already knows and if Phoebe and Chandler and Chandler's roommate come with us for Thanksgiving, they all know and none of them will keep it quiet. We've been pretending for so long. I can't lie for you," Ross said.

"I can't tell them. They're gonna….I don't know….it was hard enough to tell you. I don't-"

"Carol, you have to tell them. You have to be brave enough to be you. I mean, you destroyed me. You not being true to who you are, not coming clean…..that hurt and it hurts a lot. I don't want this. I wanna be married and you….need to come out to them. No more lying. I'm not lying to my parents, especially when Monica already knows."

"You know my favorite thing about you?"

"What?"

"You're comfortable with you. This is hard."

"I know but you'll be happier when you do it."

"Can I call you after?"

"Of course."

"Can you promise something?"

"Anything."

"We'll still be friends?"

"Of course. We're best friends."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know. Me too."

Carol gently rested her head on Ross shoulder as he squeezed her hand. He did feel slightly bad for her, in spite of everything. He still loved her. Carol would forever remain part of his life, he couldn't see any other way that she would not be. It would be a new type of friendship and one they would have to get used to.

Thanksgiving was him, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe which surprised him. Chandler and Phoebe had spent Thanksgiving together the year before but now they decided to join Monica and Ross. Joey had decided to go home to Queens to spend Thanksgiving with his family. Ross had rented a car and the foursome headed out to Long Island and of course there was plenty to gossip about, of course starting with their old friend getting married.

"Would you really wanna track Rachel down?" Phoebe asked. She and Monica were in the backseat.

"She's getting married. If we run into her, I won't be mad," Monica said.

"That poor bastard who has to marry that brat," Chandler mumbled from his spot in the passenger's seat.

"How do you still hate her? Have you had any interaction with her since that Thanksgiving?" Ross asked as he got on to the highway.

"The hatred runs deep," Chandler said.

"I am happy she is getting married and she is living the life she's always wanted….or the life her parents always wanted," Monica said.

"Lucky her. So, okay, Joey is not here. How's he panning out?" Ross asked.

"He still has not paid rent. I like the guy, I really do. I don't wanna kick him out-"

"No, don't kick him out. He's the best thing that's ever happened to you," Phoebe said.

"Besides the Gellers who have kept you alive for the past six years," Monica said.

"Here, here," Ross said.

"True and you guys make great points but he doesn't contribute and I don't think he's taking advantage of me like Kip and Gandalf were….I don't get that feeling," Chandler said.

"I don't think he is either, actually," Monica said.

"He said he has some stuff in his past. He was getting away from some stuff or whatever….some shady stuff. I think this guy has a past. Like a shady past and not like sitting under trees," Chandler said.

"What do you mean?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. He won't tell me stuff. Okay, he's an actor who barely works and okay, he was in Los Angeles and he came back here and-" Chandler said.

"And he worked in construction, I know that," Phoebe said.

"Was it really construction?" Monica asked, grinning a little.

"Wait, wait….you think he killed someone?" Chandler asked.

"No, no...no….." Monica said, "but he does like to be naked."

"That doesn't mean he killed someone," Ross said.

"He killed someone with his nakedness," Chandler said.

"No, no….wait, you know mobsters sometimes have businesses that are fronts for other things," Ross mused.

"You think he's a mobster?" Monica asked.

"No, mobsters pay people….or pay rent. Mobsters are good with money," Chandler said.

"How do you know?" Ross asked.

"I watch movies," Chandler said.

Ross laughed as the foursome continued to think about Joey. They began to question his past, wondering what was going on with this newest member of their group and why he could not pay rent. The conversation about Joey also got his mind off of the talk about Carol, he knew he would have to talk about Carol. He would have to tell his parents about Carol. He was dreading it. When they finally got to the house, Jack and Judy were waiting for them and when they asked where Carol was, all eyes landed on him. He was secretly hoping at that moment, Chandler would make a joke or Monica would tell but no, they chose that moment to be mature and let him handle it. So Monica, Chandler and Phoebe walked off to the bar and Ross confided in his parents that his marriage was indeed over and the reason was because Carol was gay.

He waited for their reaction, he thought they would judge or ask questions and there were some. Jack told him that he knew a lesbian at work and Judy hugged him and asked what he was going to do. He was thankful for their support, thankful but the more support he got, the more he was worried about Carol. He kept wondering what was happening on her end and he got his answer towards the end of the meal while Chandler, Jack and Ross were watching the football game and Phoebe and Monica were gossiping at the kitchen table while eating pie. Judy was messing around in the kitchen and got the phone first. When she handed it to Ross, he shooed her away and immediately by Carol's voice, he knew it hadn't gone well.

"They want to send me to Church Camp," Carol said.

"You're twenty four years old," Ross said.

"I know, they didn't take it well. They asked it was a phase and if I could work things out with you and it's just….."

"I'm sorry, Carol."

"No….no, I'm okay. I needed to do this. I have to be true to myself. It's not fair, I can't keep lying, you're right. I'm sorry for dragging into all this and I'm sorry for asking if I could come with you to Thanksgiving and….I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry it's coming to this and….and for what it's worth, I loved being your husband and I'm gonna miss it."

"I loved being your wife. I'm going to miss being a Geller."

"You'll always be a Geller. You know us, we don't give up on the ones we love. I will always love you."

"I'm happy."

"You sound thrilled."

"I know, right but I'm gonna be happy. I'm me. This was hard."

"I know."

"I should go. Thank you. It's gonna be a long Thanksgiving," Carol said.

Ross smiled weakly as he hung up the phone. Judy walked up behind him and gently squeezed his shoulder.

"You alright?" Judy asked.

"I will be."

Ross walked off towards the table where Monica and Phoebe were sharing a cherry pie, he grabbed a fork and picked up the pie.

"Hey," they both said together.

"I'm getting divorced, screw you both," Ross said, his mouth full of pie.

"Mom," Monica yelled.

Judy laughed walking out of the kitchen with another cherry pie and placed it in between Phoebe and Monica, "here you go, girls."

"Thank you, mom," Monica said.

Ross took his pie and retreated back to the couch with his father and Chandler. It was a different kind of Thanksgiving, a different kind of holiday that year. Soon Thanksgiving led into Hanukkah and Christmas and he spent it with Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. Then there was New Year's Eve. Monica had invited him to their house and the five would ring it in together but before heading over there, he got a weird call from Lizzie. She sounded upset so he lied and told Monica that his friend, Jonathan was having a party and he was headed there.

When he got to Lizzie's apartment, she was already a little drunk. Lauren was asleep and she was alone. She poured him some champagne and they drank in silence until Ross decided to break it.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?" Ross asked.

"No, nothing….I'm just lonely. I mean, it's New Year's Eve and I love Lauren. I do. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me but I have some friends and I was invited to one of those big parties where the tickets are ridiculously expensive but I couldn't find a sitter and I feel like I'm missing so much and I hate that I feel this way because I shouldn't. I'm a mom and I'm so grateful but I'm….I'm sorry-"

"No, Liz. I get it."

"I'm just having a pity party."

"I'll join your pity party."

Lizzie smiled as they continued drinking. Glass after glass, they continue until the countdown to 1994 began. As they counted down, both were sufficiently drunk as they leaned in and soon were kissing. Their inhibitions completely vanished as soon they gave into one another. It was wrong, both knew it. Ross was still technically married and Lizzie had dated Chandler but neither cared at that moment, both wanted to feel something better than what they were feeling. They wanted to get rid of the pain that had been building up for months, the loneliness, the desires, the feelings of hopelessness and loss. They wanted to feel something else. They wanted happy. He reached under her shirt and gently pulled it off as they kept going, letting everything take over. Maybe they'd regret it, maybe in the light of day, they'd call it a mistake in that moment, every ounce of pain they felt melted away in one euphoric moment. They would enter the first moments of 1994, happy.


	22. Chapter 22

**January 1, 1994-April 1994**

He woke up with Lizzie still sleeping in his arms. Breathing her in, she still smelled a bit like lavender. He had never noticed that before, he had never slept with her before but still she smelled like lavender. He wondered if Chandler knew that, although he was pretty sure he should keep it quiet and not ask Chandler. She snuggled closer to him as he gently kissed her on the head. It was exactly what he needed and he wondered if she needed it too. He was starting the new year feeling good, better. She let out a tired moan as she lifted her head off his chest and looked at him. Her eyes were crystal blue. Chandler had always said that Lizzie looked like Snow White and he could see it with her pale skin and jet black hair.

"Good morning," Lizzie said.

"Definitely. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Lizzie laughed as she shook her head, "we know to party."

"We do."

"I needed that."

"Me too. It felt good. Chandler was right, you're good at that."

She crinkled her nose and shook her head, "why are you mentioning my ex-boyfriend? You know he also used to say I looked like your sister."

"Ugh, ewww."

"See, don't say stuff that's gross. Although, don't tell him."

"I won't. Liz, will you go out with me? Like an actual date, at a restaurant. I'll pay, we can wear clothes. We'll pick a restaurant that no one we know can see us at. Please?"

"Ross."

"Liz, come on...you and me?"

"We're broken, Ross. We're broken people."

"Maybe we can fix each other."

"I spent eight, nine years trying to fix someone. It doesn't work."

"How about someone without alcoholism and is just getting over a wife leaving him for another woman?"

"Maybe but….are you ready to date someone who has child? It's not like dating….my life revolves around Lauren, I am obsessed with her every second of the day. I want to know if she's happy every moment that passes. I want to go in her room right now. Are you ready to take that on?"

"Yes. How hard can it be?"

"Seriously?" Lizzie asked. She looked over at her alarm clock and quickly got up, Ross pulled her towards him and planted a kiss on her back.

"Where are you going?"

"Putting on pajamas."

"Why?"

"Put on pants."

"Why?"

"You'll see," Lizzie said as she walked towards her closet and pulled out a pair of pajamas out of her drawer. Ross looked confused but he pulled back on his pants and his undershirt and crawled back into bed. Lizzie got back in as well and as if on cue, a tiny voice soon called out.

"Mommy," Lauren whined as she shuffled into the bedroom, hugging a teddy bear and wearing pink footie pajamas. Her black hair looked messy as Lizzie picked her up and grinned at Ross.

"Eight thirty on the dot, every single morning," Lizzie said.

"Ross, me sit," Lauren said, wriggling herself so she was sitting in between Ross and Lizzie. She looked quite pleased with herself.

"She knows how to tell time?" Ross asked.

"I'm really not sure, but somehow….."

"Did you sleep over?" Lauren asked.

"Yes, I did," Ross said.

"Did you sleep over 'cause you wanted to play with me?" Lauren asked.

"Yes, I did. I couldn't wait any longer," Ross grinned.

"Good, Mommy, you make us pancakes with choccy chips and then Ross you play with me."

"I will," Ross said.

"I will make pancakes. We'll hang out today. Watch movies."

"Muppets and Aladdin. Ross, have you seen Aladdin? It's really good. It's my favorite," Lauren said.

"I have not seen Aladdin."

"Watch with me?" Lauren asked,

"I will," Ross said.

"And the day begins," Lizzie said as she got up and leaned over to pick Lauren up out of bed, "come here, you. Let's get you fed."

"Choccy pancakes and sanniches," Lauren said.

"It's 8:30 in the morning, you want a sandwich too?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"How 'bout I make the choccy pancake into a sandwich?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah," Lauren said as Lizzie smiled at Ross and walked out of the bedroom.

He let out a sigh and rested back against the headboard. The first day of 1994. It would be filled with change, it would have to be. His marriage was ending and maybe he could date, he could meet someone new, but now his first day of 1994 would be spent eating chocolate chip pancakes and watching Aladdin. It was the perfect way to start the year. He and Liz never left the house. He felt like they were separate from the rest of the world.

But soon the real world was calling. It was back to work and school and going home to an empty apartment. The apartment felt lonely but he refused to leave, he would make it his home. Make it his apartment. Carol slowly moved her things out, she was now living with Susan. He found himself spending more and more time with Lizzie and Lauren. Lauren was sweet and cute and Lizzie was amazingly strong. He loved being around her and wanted to take her out, he would constantly suggest dates and it seemed like she finally agreed on Valentine's Day. Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey were going out on a Friendship Double Date and invited Ross but he declined. He felt like he would be the fifth wheel and when Lizzie agreed to go out with him, he decided to plan something romantic. He made reservations at Daniel's, a restaurant that was known for romance and candlelight. It was definitely not cheap which was something Lizzie immediately noticed when the two sat across from each other at the small, intimate table, with him dressed in a suit and her in a tight red dress.

"This is fancy," Lizzie looked around. While the romantic vibe oozed from the wall and ceilings, it was obvious that they were younger than most of the people there.

"I thought you'd like it."

"I do but….I don't mean to sound ungrateful but can we afford this?"

"Of course and it's my treat."

"Ross, no."

"Please, you're a waitress and-"

"What?"

"I meant-"

"You're a grad student."

"I also work."

"So do I and hard," Lizzie said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to….I'm sorry. I just….I'm glad you agreed to go out," Ross said.

"Yeah, it's been a long time since I went out on a date," Lizzie said.

"And just think….we can do this all the time."

"You don't wanna date me."

"I like Lauren."

"Not because of Lauren….you wanna date me so you don't have to think about Carol."

"That's not true."

"Move out of that apartment."

"It's my apartment."

"Yours and Carol's."

"Carol moved out."

"I have a therapist-"

"I don't need a therapist."

"I saw one," Lizzie said.

"Because you broke up with Chandler?" Ross asked.

"Well, that was one of the reasons-"

"Why would you go to a therapist for a break up. Just get over it, that's what I'm doing."

"Some break ups are a little more difficult to get over than others. You know, I'm not having fun anymore."

"I'm sorry. I am...I'm….so how is waitressing?"

"Good, fun…I had the funniest but not in a good way table the other day. Oye, they were on date that was clearly not going well and the guy sent back his food because he forgot to order chicken and wanted protein….so weird."

"Weird….so how's the acting? You still doing that?" Ross asked.

"It's okay. I mean, it's not great but it's there...oh, I know it's a couple of months away but my twenty fifth birthday is in April and I'm having a birthday party," Lizzie said.

"You have other friends besides me?" Ross asked, grinning.

"Ha, ha...it'll be in April, obviously and I'm having a grown up party, no kids. It will be Saturday, April 9th," Lizzie said.

"And Chandler's surprise party will be April 8th."

"Surprise Party?"

"Mon has already started planning."

"She likes him, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, I think so and I think he likes her but I think they're both very stupid," Ross grinned.

"Awww, so how's Chandler's new roommate?"

"Good. He's nice. Chandler and him get along really well. Like really well."

"Are you jealous?"

"Well….I feel a little left out sometimes," Ross said.

"Oh, well...this is more fun."

"It is."

The dinner was the perfect way to get his mind off of other things in his life, he loved just being around her. Work, school, Lizzie, he was coping just fine from his marriage imploding. He didn't need a therapist or to move out of his apartment, he was busy and he was getting over Carol. Carol was moving on from him, so he would do the same. He was fine, if anyone asked and they did, he would continue to be fine. He would still live in his apartment because he was just fine.

After an expensive dinner, Lizzie was right, the two walked around Central Park. It was still cold, but it felt okay walking hand in hand around the park. They felt like a couple.

"I can't believe we're gonna be twenty five this year. Quarter of a century...amazing and I'm a mother and you're divorced."

"Separated but yeah, divorced."

"Have you guys filed yet?" Lizzie asked.

"This isn't what I wanna talk about on Valentine's Day," Ross said. Lizzie smiled as they walked more. New York was huge and walking around the park, they felt separated from the rest of the world. Some people might hate the coldness of a winter night in New York, but he liked it. He felt alive, his skin prickled and his mind wandered.

"Come with me," Ross said.

"Where?"

"Chandler's surprise birthday."

"I-"

"Liz….you don't have to tell me now, we got a couple months. Mon's starting the planning and-"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Is it really still because of Chandler?"

"No, no...it's...okay, you know how pissed he will be when he finds out we've been friends for years after we broke up and not only that, we've hooked up? Then we tell him that on his birthday?"

"We don't have to tell him that. I could say I ran into you and-"

"I'm not lying to him."

"Liz-"

"Please respect that. Okay, I just don't want to be in his life anymore and I don't want him in mine."

"But if we date…"

"Ross."

"What?"

"You're sweet," Lizzie said as they continued to stroll around the park. He did want to date Lizzie, she got him. They had both been through so much and they got each other, she got him. She made him feel less lonely.

It was when she wasn't there, when he lay in bed at nights, when there was no work to be done, that's when his thoughts took over. He had not been alone in so long and that bed felt cold. He would lay there until he could no longer stand it and make his way over to Lizzie's. He could go to Monica's, she did still have that spare room and was still looking for a new roommate but never did. Instead, night after night, he'd lay there until he gave up and took a cab to Lizzie's. She would welcome him in without saying a word and he would sleep beside her, holding her, kissing her and sometimes going farther. In the early mornings, they would wake up together and have breakfast with Lauren. Being away, made it easier and Lizzie never questioned it.

He purposely dodged Carol's calls or visits. He knew what she wanted. He knew because ever since 1994 began, she had been trying to set up an appointment with him. She wanted to talk to him and he knew what she wanted to talk to him about: divorce. Carol had filed and wanted him to sign the papers and she wanted to actually meet with him but he kept refusing. He did not want to see her, did not want to talk to her but she finally was able to catch up to him the day of Chandler's surprise 25th birthday. Chandler had invited Ross to join him and Phoebe for lunch but twenty minutes before, Carol showed up at the museum and he couldn't think of a way out so there they sat in the commissary eating sandwiches and Carol had the divorce papers in hand.

"Why here? I don't think this is a good time," Ross said.

"You've been avoiding me for months."

"I haven't been avoiding you. I've been busy. Work, grad school….I'm this is my fourth year and-"

"And let's not forget, you're dating Lizzie," Carol said.

"I'm not dating her."

"Well, you can't get married to her until you officially divorced me."

"I'm not marrying her. Besides why do we need to divorce?" Ross asked.

"What?"

"We don't actually need to divorce."

"We kinda do."

"What if we don't?" Ross asked.

"We're both committing adultery."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes."

"Do you really like Susan?"

"Yes."

"As much as you loved me?" Ross asked.

"I'm not doing that. Ross, why are you making this more difficult? You were the one that convinced me to come out to my parents which has not been easy and….and I wanna move on. I wanna…be…."

"A lesbian."

"Well, yeah….you need to sign the papers. So we can officially move on."

Ross looked at the papers. His heart broke leafing through them. He knew he needed to but he couldn't bring himself to sign. It would officially mean the end.

"Will….Carol….if I sign these, well….are we never gonna see each other again?" Ross asked, it seemed rather blunt but it was a thought. He had barely spoken to her since they separated, if the divorce was official, was that it for them?

"Of course we will."

"When was the last time we spoke?"

"You've been avoiding me," Carol said.

"Well, not on purpose."

Carol smirked a little, she shook her head as Ross glanced through the papers again. He would have to run them by his lawyer first. He would have to get a lawyer. His life would now change. He would be divorced and now would have to start all over. Although, if Lizzie would agree to be his official girlfriend, maybe he wouldn't have to start over completely?

It was the first time he had ever spent time alone with Joey. Monica had instructed them to go pick up pizzas for the party while she made trays of mac and cheese. He had never really talked all that much to the guy. He knew Chandler and Joey had become pretty close and he knew Chandler was paying Joey's rent which did concern him. He wondered if he could bring that up.

"So how's the lesbian?" Joey asked as they sat at a small table waiting for the pizzas.

"What?"

"You married a lesbian, right?" Joey asked.

"Not on purpose."

"Well, that would be interesting."

"So….how is it living with Chandler?" Ross asked, not wanting to talk about Carol.

"Awesome. You were his roommate in college?"

"Yeah. Hey, can I ask you something? I know you and I don't know each other real well yet but Chandler's a good friend and I know he's been paying your rent and...look, the guy does come from money and we've had friends who have taken advantage of that and-"

"I'm not taking advantage of him," Joey said, his demeanor suddenly changing. Ross wondered if he should push. While Joey was shorter than him, there was no doubt Joey could kick his ass.

"I-I'm sorry….it's just-"

"No, look….I like you, Ross-"

"You don't know me."

"Ehhh, you seem like a dweeb."

"I prefer Science Nerd," Ross grinned.

"I have a past, okay….I don't wanna get into it. It's no one's business, it's the past but Chandler's my brother and I take care of family."

Ross let that sink in, there was something in the way Joey said that. He sounded rather macho-like, like he was some sort of mafioso hitman.

"You sound like you're part of the mob."

Joey laughed as the awkward conversation was saved by the delivery of the pizzas. Ross wanted to press further but thought, maybe not. Maybe he would try to get to know Joey, ask him other questions or maybe Joey would.

"Hey, have you ever been to a hockey game with Chandler?" Joey asked as they got into a cab, the smell of the pizzas filling the car. Ross laughed.

"Invite me next time, I'll talk to you."

"He did not speak to me the entire game. It wasn't like the Knicks."

"Well, yeah, the Knicks are awesome."

"Damn right," Joey said.

"But yeah, he gets very weird at hockey games. He's not playing, but it doesn't matter. If you go to a hockey game with him, you have to bring a friend."

"I tried to break him," Joey said.

"I tried throwing peanuts at his head," Ross said.

"Ice, it's harder to ignore." Joey said.

"Well, that's interesting."

"Here's the plan, next Rangers game? We'll try to break him."

"That's the best idea ever."

"I know, right," Joey said.

He kinda liked this guy whom he barely knew. Joey was just friendly, kind. From the outside, he looked like the person who could beat someone up with a single punch but the way he just automatically treated Ross like they had been friends for years was kinda sweet. They arrived back at Monica's apartment while Monica was setting everything up. There were trays of mac and cheese and people everywhere. After the setting the pizzas up, Ross joined Monica in the kitchen.

"So, this is a party."

"It is….you think he'll like it?" Monica asked.

"We've got mac and cheese, pizzas, video games and beer pong on the balcony. He'll love it."

"I hope so. He's twenty five...I mean…twenty five...that's…"

"If he makes it to thirty, we'll have a parade."

"I hate it when people say that. He'll make it to thirty. He's….he will."

"Alright. So how's the roommate search?"

"It's okay. How's the divorce?"

"Got the papers today."

"I'm sorry," Monica said. "But maybe it's good. You'll move on, you'll hang out with us more."

"You don't need me. You, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe make a great foursome."

"No, we do need you. Well, Chandler and Joey do….you can help them act like grown ups, because when they're together, it's like they're twelve."

"Oh, I don't know if I can do that. Joey and I wanna take Chandler to Rangers game so we can throw stuff at him," Ross grinned.

"You guys are gonna try to break him?" Monica asked.

"Oh yeah."

"He's not gonna break. Phoebe and I have tried."

"What did you two do?"

"We licked him," Monica said, giving him a grin.

"We're not doing that."

Monica laughed, "he still didn't break."

"Never say never."

Ross was going to say more when soon the birthday boy arrived at around 6:30. As soon as the door opened, Monica and Phoebe both ran up to him and kissed him. As he watched his friend, there was a twinge guilt as he immediately thought of Lizzie. He wondered what Chandler would say if he told him that he had kept in touch with Lizzie, that he had been hooking up with her. He began to feel guilty, maybe he should come clean or maybe not. The next night he would be going to Lizzie's party. Maybe he could bring Chandler?

"Happy birthday," Phoebe said.

"Happy birthday, Chandler," Monica said.

"Thank you. Wow, this is amazing. Hey guys...hey, Tyler," Chandler said as he walked towards the guy Ross knew as Chandler's best friend from high school.

"Hey, man...we're playing beer pong on balcony," Tyler said.

"Seriously?" Chandler asked.

"I set up a table out there. Enjoy," Monica smiled.

"Oh, you're amazing...Ross, you gonna play with me?" Chandler asked.

"I hate playing against you," Ross said.

"'Cause you always lose?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Ross said, he couldn't tell Chandler tonight. He couldn't say anything while his friend was so happy.

"Come on...let's play," Chandler said as he, Tyler, Ross and Joey walked towards the balcony when suddenly Chandler stopped and looked back at Phoebe and Monica. "Oh, by the way...I met someone."

"You did?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. I met her at the coffee shop when I was waiting to come up here. I invited her. She'll be here later. She had to go home and feed her dog first. Her name is Janice. Is that okay?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, of course...we have fourteen kinds of macaroni and cheese," Monica said.

"Great...alright...let's play. Joe, have you ever played beer pong?" Chandler asked.

"No...never played. I want to, though," Joey said.

"This man is unbeatable," Tyler said.

"We'll see about that,. I may not have been to college, but I do know drinking games," Joey said.

"You're on," Chandler said. "And then maybe we can make it more extreme."

"I'll get the lighter fluid," Joey said.

"No," Monica yelled to which Joey, Tyler, Ross and Chandler jumped, pretending to be taken aback by Monica yelling. Instead, they shrugged and continued to walk towards the balcony.

"Although, wait...you invited a girl? Did you reinflate the last one?" Tyler asked.

"Ha, ha...funny," Chandler said as he walked onto the balcony where the game began with Chandler beating each one of them over and over. One thought did play in Ross' head. Chandler had met someone? Chandler had a new girlfriend, Janice? Maybe she wasn't his girlfriend just yet but maybe this was a sign. Chandler had indeed moved on. He would not care if he was with Lizzie.

Of course, then he met Janice. Janice seemed whiny, annoying and the polar opposite of Lizzie. She followed him around like a puppy dog, laughing this loud laugh that sounded like a cat dying. Phoebe had a loud, uncontrollable laugh but her's was spectacular and made everyone else laugh and people would try to get Phoebe to continue laughing that hard. Janice's laugh was not that. Her laugh made everyone beg for her to stop. He did wanna ask about Janice. What did Chandler see in her?

"She's nice," Chandler shrugged. Janice had gone to the bathroom and Chandler was playing beer pong against Tyler.

"She's annoying as hell," Joey said.

"She's definitely not Lizzie," Ross said.

"Who's Lizzie?" Joey asked.

"My girlfriend from high school and college. She broke up with me. I told her I loved her, she said, 'oh, crap.'"

"Harsh. I liked her. She was nice. What the hell happened to her?" Tyler asked.

"Haven't a clue. Don't really care. Look, she cheated on me and I haven't had a girlfriend or a date for that matter in like five years. I think I'm due," Chandler said.

"You don't really care what happened to Liz?" Ross asked.

"No and I doubt she sits around and thinks about me. I don't know if Janice is the one, she's nice and it would be nice to date someone who isn't Lizzie. Someone new."

He thought of Lizzie back at her place with her daughter. He wondered if he should tell Lizzie, maybe this would change her mind? Chandler was no longer invested. He would no longer care if Ross dated Lizzie. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

Lizzie's birthday party was the next night. He did feel slightly guilty about not telling Chandler, he always felt guilty about not telling Chandler but Chandler was on another date with Janice. This could be his chance.

"He's got a new girlfriend?" Lizzie asked as they drank champagne in the private room she had rented out for her birthday, Lauren was at home with a babysitter. He was surprised to see how many friends Lizzie did have.

"Yes," Ross said, telling her all about Chandler's birthday party.

"What's her name?"

"Janice. She's cute," Ross said.

"How long have they been going out for?" Lizzie asked.

He opened his mouth, knowing he was at a crossroads. He could tell the truth. He could say this was their second date, who knew if it was serious but if he said that….

"Eight months," Ross said, suddenly and kicked himself for lying. Lizzie simply nodded.

"So it's serious?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"I thought he loved your sister."

"They're not dating."

"He's moved on."

"Yeah and Liz….this could be a good thing. You and I? Right? We're good together. He's moved on and so maybe-"

"It's good he's moved on and I'm glad the party was fantastic and-"

"And you have an awesome party going on too."

"You're getting divorced. I can't…."

"Please."

"I don't wanna talk about this on my birthday."

"Okay."

Lizzie looked a little sad and he wasn't sure if he had made a mistake. He had lied, but it was harmless. She would never find out. She refused to talk to Chandler so he would never even tell her. Lizzie could be his girlfriend, he could do this. It would make it easier. Much easier. He could get divorced, then move on to Lizzie and they could get married. It would be like changing bandages and this one would be better. He'd have a family intact.


	23. Chapter 23

**May 1994-September 1994**

He saw her in May. She was walking down the street in their hometown of Long Island. He had gone home to visit his parents and talk about the divorce papers. It was long and draining and emotional and he could not wait to get home. Lizzie had invited him to Lauren's fourth birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, so he would rent a car, drive home and then head back to Lauren's birthday. As he drove though, he passed the house Rachel grew up in and was a little shocked to see her walking. He stopped when he saw her and honked. Rachel looked up and recognition flashed across her face as she walked towards his driver's side.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked when Ross rolled down the window.

"I was visiting my parents to talk to them about...well...my divorce."

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I got married and now I'm getting a divorce."

"Why? What happened?"

"My wife is a lesbian."

"Well, that'll do it," Rachel mused.

"Hey, do you wanna get lunch?" Ross asked. He was supposed to be back in the city that afternoon to help Lizzie but seeing Rachel there, he wanted to catch up.

"I just finished lunch with my mom but I could use a drink."

"Okay….margaritas at Magic Taco?" Ross asked.

"It's like you know me," Rachel grinned.

Of course he did, he knew her love Mexican food and margaritas. It was the way to Rachel's heart. He watched as Rachel got in her car and they soon ended up at the restaurant, drinking margaritas and eating chips. It had been so long since they had seen each other. She looked the same.

"You're getting married," Ross said.

"Yeah. His name is Barry...he's...yeah...can't wait."

"You seem excited," Ross said, sarcastically. She seemed the exact opposite of excited. She seemed sad, very sad.

"It's just...it's been a hard year."

"How so?"

"You don't wanna hear this," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay, last June, Barry's brother, Brian, took a handful of Vicodin and oxy and swallowed it down with vodka and Brian was….was my best friend. He was...my everything. I miss him. A lot."

"Oh, Rach….I'm really sorry," Ross said. His heart broke for her.

"No...he was gay and he was afraid to tell his family. I knew...but he was too afraid and as a result, his entire family including Barry thought we were sleeping together and it wasn't my place to tell people that. Brian and I would always talk and we would both joke that we were in some sort of prison….he couldn't get out of his," Rachel said, starting to cry again.

"Rachel."

"And in the last year...I've been just...I've been thinking...how much I screwed things up and how….how's Chandler? He took Vicodin and oxy too, right?" Rachel asked.

She was miserable and he wanted to take her back to the city. He wanted to hug her, bring her to Monica, they could have Twinkies in pantries or whatever they did. This was not the Rachel he remembered. She seemed almost gutted.

"Yeah...but he's good. We celebrated his twenty fifth birthday last month. We ate a lot of mac and cheese and played beer pong. He has a roommate, Joey, he's awesome. He's an actor and Mon had a roommate, Phoebe who is...pretty amazing."

"Sounds fun."

"It is. You know, Monica would be happy to see you," Ross said.

"No, she wouldn't. I screwed that friendship up so badly. She probably hates me."

Ross let out a snort and shook his head. Was she really that clueless?

"Did you just meet Monica and I?" Ross asked, grinning at her.

"What?"

"Come on….you know us, it doesn't matter how much you screw up, you're always welcome back home."

"Really?"

"Monica would love to see you….and I think it would be kinda cool to see you more often."

"Chandler wouldn't wanna see me more often."

"No, probably not. He really doesn't like you," Ross said, although that was understatement. Chandler's hatred of Rachel ran very deep but he wasn't going to mention that.

"I know," Rachel said.

"You know, I never told him about you slashing his tired and covering his car with booze. I got the wheels fixed and the car washed before he could find out."

He wasn't sure he should mention that but when Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out her checkbook instead of saying something mean, he was floored. What had happened to Two Face? Did her real face take over?

"How much did it cost?"

"You don't owe me money," Ross said. She was actually going to write a check? Did she really feel guilty, at the time he didn't think she cared.

"How much did it cost?"

"$2,600."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Rachel asked.

Ross let out a laugh. That had been his reaction at the time.

"It was a mint condition, right off the lot cherry red Corvette. They're not cheap."

Rachel groaned a little as she wrote a check and handed it to Ross. He folded it up and put it in wallet, but he would not cash it. He couldn't.

"He crashed it though," Rachel said.

"How did you know?"

"Well, Brian had seen it in the paper and he cut it out and gave it to me. I promise I won't make fun of him if I see him."

He found that kind of funny. He hadn't even thought to cut the accident out of the paper. He should have done that, maybe he could borrow the clipping and make a copy and frame for Chandler.

"Oh, you can make fun of him for that. I make fun of him for that. So does Monica….hell, Phoebe and Joey make fun of him for that and they didn't know him yet. The man drove a car into a house."

"Who were the three passengers?"

"Me and two other friends whom we don't really keep in touch with anymore."

"No one was hurt."

"No. Hey, can I give you advice?" Ross asked. He had to say something. She seemed lost.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure you wanna get married?"

"Yes."

"Okay….'cause if you're not completely sure then don't….'cause getting a divorce really, really sucks."

"It's not that easy."

"Divorce is tougher."

"What would I do?"

"Monica needs a roommate. I might need a roommate."

"I'm not living with you….although, it would be fun to live with Monica. I miss her," Rachel said as she took a sip of her margarita.

"You wanna come back to the city?"

"Not today."

"Are doing fashion?"

"No, no...it's just a hobby," Rachel said.

"Rach. Get out of here."

"I can't."

"You seem miserable."

"I lost my best friend. I found his body. Lying there on the floor and…and it's been a really rough road and-I will be fine. I do love Barry. I do. I really do. I'm sorry you're getting a divorce. Carol seemed nice."

"Did you meet Carol?"

"Once….I think. Is Chandler still with that girl he was dating?"

"Lizzie? No, they broke up. In fact, you might actually like this story. He told her that he loved her and she said, 'oh crap.'"

"That's not what you wanna hear."

"No," Ross said. "Hey, didn't you just have a birthday?"

"I did...it was...fine. I didn't really feel like celebrating. Brian was my only real friend. I lost him."

"You have five more in the city."

"Five?"

"Monica and myself. Chandler will eventually give in. You may need to bribe him with snacks. Phoebe and Joey will love you. You have a place."

"Thank you."

Ross truly felt for her. He wanted to protect her, wanted to take care of. Rachel just seemed so worn down, hollowed out. He wanted to save her but she wasn't sure she wanted to be saved yet and when they were done with their late lunch, they separated, driving off in separate directions. He arrived at Chuck E. Cheese a little late and was cheered up by the sounds of children. Lauren saw him immediately and ran towards him.

"Ross, guess what...look, I got a pink ball and a bunny that I got from a machine and I got cake and it's chocolate and it's-" Lauren kept talking as Ross picked her up.

"Where were you?" Lizzie asked as she approached them.

"Mommy, I'm talking," Lauren said.

"I know you are sweetie, why don't you go play with your friend, Sami?" Lizzie suggested as Ross put Lauren down and she walked towards another little girl sitting at a table, eating pizza.

"I was in Long Island talking to my parents and I saw Rachel and….wow."

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"She's miserable. Her best friend just died of an overdose. The guy was supposed to be her brother-in-law and she's getting married….but I don't think she wants to and-"

"I'm sorry."

"This is why moving on and being happy is important."

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"Go out with me."

"Have you signed your divorce papers yet?"

"No."

"Do that," Lizzie said.

"Come on, please. Chandler and Janice are still dating. I think he's gonna propose," Ross said, immediately regretting the statement.

"Chandler? Really? It took the man nine years to tell me that he loved me."

"Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen but it is going strong," Ross said which of course was not true. Janice and Chandler were not really going strong, they really weren't much of anything. Chandler found her annoying and she seemed to love him far more than he even thought about her, but Lizzie didn't need to know that.

"Strange. Hmmm, well, good for him."

"So?"

"Let's make sure the kids are fed and ready to play," Lizzie walked off, leaving Ross standing there. It would be so simple, so easy and he wasn't sure why Lizzie wasn't on board. He would keep trying. He and Lizzie spent the summer together, going places, spending weekends together. He loved it, he was also avoiding Carol. Carol wanted those divorce papers back but he would constantly avoid her or tell her couldn't find them. The thing was, he did have them. He did sign them, they were divorced but he couldn't give them to her.

It wasn't until August when he saw Carol again. She was sitting in front of their apartment, waiting for him. He had tried to turn around and run when saw him but Carol was faster and angrier.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Carol asked as they walked into the apartment. "Why are you not letting us divorce?"

"I am letting us divorce."

"Really? You are because it seems like you're prolonging this and dating Lizzie, you don't love Lizzie. You just don't want to be alone."

"That's not true."

"If you don't give me the papers, I will go find Chandler and tell him about you and Lizzie."

"You wouldn't."

Carol picked up the phone, "I'll call."

"You don't know his number."

"I know Monica's," Carol said.

"Carol, don't," Ross said, walking towards the phone and grabbing it from Carol's hand. He hung it up and walked towards the desk, grabbed the papers and handed them to her. "We're divorced."

"Good," Carol said, looking at the papers. "You were the one who said I needed to stop lying. Why….."

"I know we have to divorce. I get that. I just….you have been the only woman I have been with. I don't know how to date or how to be without you and maybe Lizzie-"

"It's not gonna last with her. She's got a kid Ross and when Chandler finds out-"

"I lied to her."

"What?"

"I said Chandler was dating this girl and they were serious. They're not serious. Not at all. I figured…." Ross collapsed onto the couch and Carol sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Ross. We have to move on. You have to move out of this damn apartment."

"I love this apartment."

"Me too."

"I loved you."

"I loved you too and we had some amazing times and I wanted…I really wanted us to work. I did. I wanted to put aside every feeling and desire and urge because I thought….I do love you, Ross and I am so sorry and you can move on."

Ross and Carol stared at each other. There had been so many moments in their marriage that had been so wonderful, so beautiful. He knew she was right and he wasn't sure why he was prolonging it. Why he didn't officially just rip the Band-Aid off. Before he knew it, Carol's lips were on his as he held her. He would move out of the apartment. He would move on. Maybe with Lizzie, maybe without, he wasn't sure but he knew he had to move and he would after Carol and Ross shared their final moment. He picked her up and carried her into what had been their bedroom. They rarely had sex in that bed, but now it just felt necessary. It felt like the official end, closing the chapter on their marriage.

That September, he moved. He found a place very close next door to Lizzie's building. He had contemplated living in her building but instead found one next door. It would be a fresh start. Once he found the place, he headed over to Central Perk to tell the others. Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler were chatting randomly when he arrived to tell them he would need help with the new place, he enlisted Joey and Chandler's help and as they were chatting, suddenly Rachel Green raced in wearing her wedding dress and sobbing.

"Rach?" Monica asked. Ross looked over at Chandler and Phoebe who were exchanging annoyed looks.

"Monica," Rachel cried as she hugged Monica. "Hi. I hope it's okay...I..you gave me your address last year and I couldn't do it. I couldn't get married….I had-I can't-I-"

"It's okay. Come here….here, you know Ross and this is Phoebe and Joey and-" Monica said.

"Hi-"

"And you remember Chandler?" Monica asked.

"No, no, I'm sorry...nice to meet you," Rachel said.

Ross bit his lip and was pleasantly surprised that Chandler decided not to say anything. Soon, Rachel sat down and was in complete hysterics. She had ran out on her wedding. She had left her old life behind and now there she was and a few hours later, in Monica's apartment, Rachel invited herself to be Monica's new roommate. Well, that was a new development. He walked towards the couch where Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Chandler were sitting. He could just imagine, Rachel living across from Chandler. Rachel back in their lives? That could be a good thing.

"So Rachel is living with you?" Ross asked. "I like that idea."

"Of course you do," Chandler muttered.

"Hey, you were mean to her as well. It was a two way street, buddy," Monica said, pointing a finger at him, "and Phoebe, I am so sorry. Really, I am….but and I'll explain it later."

That comment confused Ross a little. Did Phoebe hate Rachel too? When had Phoebe met Rachel? He was going to press further but instead was interrupted by Rachel.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"I'm gonna talk to Rachel outside for a moment," Monica said as she got up and walked towards Rachel. The two walked out, leaving the others inside.

"She seems hot. I'd do her," Joey said.

"Classy," Chandler said.

"She's heinous. She's the devil," Phoebe said.

"How do you know?" Ross asked.

"Um, I've told her stories," Chandler said, immediately.

"Yes, Chandler has told me stories and she sounds just like the worst," Phoebe said.

"She's been through a lot. I saw her a couple months ago and she's….she's lost and she just ran out on her wedding. This is a big deal and-" Ross said.

"She smells like stinky cheese," Chandler said.

"I bet she likes to cut the cheese," Phoebe said.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"I'd still do her. With nose plugs….but I'd do her," Joey said.

"What is wrong with you, man?" Chandler asked.

"Look, be nice to her. She's upset. Don't be assholes," Ross said.

"I can't guarantee that," Chandler said.

Ross shook his head, annoyed. He was actually secretly proud of Rachel in that moment. He knew what she had just done had taken guts. That image of her looking so broken appeared in his head. She had decided to break free.

Rachel and Monica soon returned and Rachel sat at the kitchen table while the others talked. He noticed her looking uncomfortable, quiet and sad. Before he left, he looked at her. She would be okay. He would make sure of it.

"You escaped."

"I did."

"Brian would be proud," Ross said. "I'm proud."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yes."

"I'm scared."

"I know."

Rachel nodded as he gently squeezed her shoulder and walked out of the apartment. He went back to his new place where Joey and Chandler soon joined him to set up. It would be his new chapter, his new start where he was officially on his own. He would be like Rachel…..moving on.


	24. Chapter 24

**September 1994**

The phone rang early in his new apartment and he rolled over to pick it up. His voice hoarse, it had been a long night. Rachel was back, Joey and Chandler had been over to help him set up furniture and long after they left. he had called Lizzie and told her to come over. She brought over Lauren and having the two of them spending the night in his new apartment felt absolutely perfect. He almost felt like they were a family and that moment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Hello?" Ross asked.

"It's me, so we're going Long Island today," Monica said.

"Okay," Ross said.

"You're coming," Monica said.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"Let me talk," Chandler said.

Ross' eyes widened as he looked over at Lizzie lying next to him and heard Chandler get onto the phone. Lizzie grinned at him as she let out a moan.

"Good morning," Lizzie said.

"Hi, Chandler," Ross said, looking at her. Lizzie stared him, covering her mouth instantly.

"Okay, dude, first off…you'll be happy to know, Rach and I talked and watched movies last night-" Chandler said.

"And we became friends!" Rachel yelled, Ross could hear her through the phone.

"I wouldn't go that far, Green," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna make you love me, Bing," Rachel shot back.

"Or I'm gonna trade you for a bucket of stamps," Chandler said.

Ross let out a laugh at the exchange he was overhearing between Chandler and Rachel. There was part of him that wondered what would happen between Rachel and Chandler, if they would kill each other or actually become friends, but from what he was overhearing, it seemed like maybe they would become friends. Although, back to this Long Island thing….

"Okay, why am I going to Long Island?" Ross asked.

"Apparently, we need to move Rachel out of her apartment and Monica told us we all need to help," Chandler said.

"Let me talk," Rachel said and soon she was speaking directly into the phone. "Look, Ross...I have to get my stuff and I don't wanna go there alone and I don't even know if Barry is at the apartment and I-I-please? I have a lot of crap. Please help?"

"I'll go," Ross said, letting out a sigh. "So you watched movies with Chandler? Are you guys becoming friends?"

Rachel paused before responding, "yeah...I think we're heading that way. We talked a lot. Chandler's funny."

"Damn right, I am," Chandler yelled.

"Get away, you are so weird," Rachel said.

"Damn right, beeyotch," Chandler said.

Rachel started laughing, as did Ross. It was clear that Chandler was in a silly mood today which he was grateful for. Chandler being in a silly mood would definitely make packing more fun.

"Alright, I'll be there," Ross said.

"Thank you. You won't regret it," Rachel said,

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Ross said before hanging up and looking at Lizzie. "So I'm going to Long Island."

"I heard."

"Rachel's back and guess we're packing up her old place or packing up part of it. You can come?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Rach probably needs a friend," Ross said.

"I'm sure she doesn't want it to be me. The girl was miserable to me at camp. She called me Lizard and she kicked me out of my bed. She threw my stuff on the ground. Honestly, she's a bully."

"A long time ago. I think she's changed. She ran out on her wedding."

"She's not someone i would ever want to be friends with."

"Chandler's apparently now her friend."

"Good for him."

"You know, I find it odd that you don't wanna be around any of my friends."

"I do...just not all of them. Rachel isn't your friend anymore. She's been back in your life for twenty four hours. Who knows what this girl has done or been through? You don't know if she'll leave."

"She won't leave."

"Mommy," Lauren whined as she wandered into Ross' bedroom. He looked over at the clock. 8:30, on the dot. He shook his head.

"How does she do that?" Ross asked.

"I don't know," Lizzie said, laughing as she picked Lauren up and placed her on her lap. Lizzie wrapped her arms around Lauren and gently placed her head on top of Lauren's which caused the little girl to start giggling.

"Do you know what time it is?" Ross asked.

"No, I don't know," Lauren said. "Mommy, I'm hungry. I want cereal and toast and….cookies."

"You can have one of those things….not cookies."

"I have Cinnamon Toast Crunch," Ross said. "Cereal that looks like toast."

"I want that," Lauren said.

"Come here," Ross said, reaching for Lauren and taking her from Lizzie. He carried her out of the bedroom and into his brand new kitchen. He loved playing with Lauren, there was something so sweet and innocent about her. He did sometimes wonder who her dad was and it was in those moments, he felt a little bad for him. He wondered if the guy knew he had a child, if he knew what he was missing? Lizzie soon joined them and the three had breakfast together. It felt so real to him and he wished it could be like that forever.

Rachel's apartment was huge. Although, there was a coldness to it. It felt rather generic. It looked liked a model home with very few personal touches.

"Can I live with Barry?" Chandler asked as they stood in the middle of the living room. Barry had apparently gone to Aruba, so they would be packing alone.

"Okay, let me grab the suitcases and….I just need some stuff like for clothes and..." Rachel said.

"Rachel, this is where I take control. Okay, Joey, Ross, Chandler take the boxes and...where's your room?" Monica asked.

"Come on, boys," Rachel said as the boys groaned. They followed Rachel into her bedroom and listened as she pointed out what stuff was hers and soon the three began just throwing things in boxes. After Rachel left the room, they made it into a game, taking her stuff and throwing it into a box, giving points to how far away they were. Ross was pretty sure Monica would have a fit seeing how there was no organization but it didn't quite matter. The playtime was quickly halted when Chandler, Joey and Ross began hearing voicemail messages come from the other room. The messages sounded bad. Very bad. They exchanged looks and walked into the living room where Rachel and Monica were standing in front of the answering machine. The voices of Rachel's so-called friends filled the room, each one worse than the others. There was name calling, slut shaming, everything under the sun. It was extreme.

"Harsh," Chandler said.

Ross glanced over at his friend who had at one point hated Rachel, but he was pretty sure in that moment Chandler's hatred towards Rachel vanished completely. Rachel was completely frozen when suddenly Monica pressed a button on the machine and looked at Rachel who was hyperventilating, sobbing. He had never seen her this upset. The last message had been from someone named, Joanne, who was calling Rachel unstable and desperate and accusing her of having STD's. These were the people Rachel had dumped Monica and Ross for?

"Did they not think I'd be back? The guy went Aruba and...none of my friends are worried about me? They're not wondering where I am? For all they knew, I was missing for twenty four hours and no one cared. I have no friends."

"Rachel, sweetie," Monica comforted her. "It's okay."

"Why do they hate me so much?" Rachel asked, sobbing into Monica's shoulder. Ross looked over at Chandler and Joey as they stood there exchanging uncomfortable looks. Ross nodded towards Rachel and Monica and the three boys walked towards them and joined in the group hug, all of them hugging Rachel until she said she no longer breathe. As they separated, she took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"You got us, Rach….we're not going anywhere," Ross said.

"Yeah….we would care if you went missing. We'd get you….also, the Gellers don't let anyone go missing. Believe me," Chandler grinned.

Ross gave Chandler a look and smacked him upside the head. What was wrong with him?

"Let's get to work, please." Monica said and with that, the three returned to the bedroom to continue packing. Those messages still playing in Ross' head. She didn't deserve those. She didn't deserve to hear those messages.

"We need to do something," Chandler said, sitting on the bed, looking through Rachel's nightstand.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I can't….we can't leave without doing something," Chandler said. "I mean, I may have hated her, but no one deserves what we just heard."

"What are you gonna do?" Ross asked.

Chandler got up and walked towards the bathroom and came out with bottles of shaving cream, aftershave and cologne and dropped them on the floor. He tore the sheets off the bed and then handed Joey a bottle of aftershave, Ross a bottle of cologne and he picked up a bottle shaving cream.

"Start pouring," Chandler said.

"Let's do it," Joey said.

"Guys, we can't….that's-"

"Why not?" Chandler asked.

"I thought you hated her?" Ross asked.

"I did….but we had fun talking last night and she's not all horrible. I just...I think….come on, you heard those messages," Chandler said.

"Let's start pouring," Joey said as he dumped the bottle of aftershave in the bed.

"He's not even here," Ross said.

"It's gonna stink when he comes back. Look, Two Face was basically obliterated out there," Chandler said.

"Two Face?" Joey asked.

"No one...but…"

"I know how you feel about her. Come on….those were people she thought were friends."

Ross looked at Chandler and at the bottle of cologne in his hand. He remembered sitting with Rachel at that Mexican restaurant, she had seemed so sad, so just tired and worn out. These were the friends that had drained her, torn her down. He opened the bottle and immediately poured it all out. Chandler began spraying shaving cream into the bed. They kept going, pouring things, spraying things, they were having fun until they heard Rachel's voice behind them.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked.

"Revenge," Chandler said.

"Yeah, we can't let people trash you like that. Come on," joey said.

"Welcome to our group," Ross said.

Rachel looked at them and looked like she was about to cry again, "but he's not coming home for another week."

"Imagine how gross this gonna be in a week," Chandler said.

"It'll be nasty," Joey said.

"And don't worry, we're gonna make the bed before we go so he won't even know," Chandler said.

Rachel let out another sigh as Ross hugged her. He wondered if she would cry again. Instead, she walked into the bathroom and came back with more stuff for them to pour in the bed.

"Here you go….and thank you, guys," Rachel said as she walked towards the door. She turned and yelled out into the living room, "yeah, Mon….the boys have it all under control here. You don't need to worry." Rachel turned and gave them a wink before walking out.

"So who's Two Face?" Joey asked.

"It's Rachel," Chandler said.

"It is not Rachel."

"He wrote a comic book about Science Boy and Two Face and Two Face is totally Rachel. Acts one way in private, another way in public," Chandler said, grinning.

"Shut up," Ross said, glaring at him.

"Dude, do you have a hard on for Rachel?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"No. Shut up," Ross said.

"But you married the lesbian," Joey said.

"He married the lesbian to get over the Rachel," Chandler said.

"That's not why I married the les-Carol."

"Totally is," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna beat you," Ross said.

Chandler laughed as he patted Ross on the back. Chandler was enjoying himself way too much and it was starting to get annoying. Although, despite him being annoying it was nice to know that there was no more hostility between Chandler and Rachel.

"You know I'm just messing with you," Chandler said.

"I know but you are okay with Rachel being back in our lives, right?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. I am. We had fun. She's kinda cool. Believe me, it's hard for me to admit that but I don't know...she seemed different."

"How was she before? She seems like a hot girl who cries a lot," Joey said.

"She is that," Ross grinned, "but I think she's been through a lot in the last six years," Ross said.

"Her friend died," Chandler said.

"I know. She told me. A drug overdose," Ross said. "She found his body."

"Rough," Chandler said. "Yeah, I don't think I hate her too much today. We really had a lot of fun. She likes _Spaceballs _and _Airplane_….she likes good movies."

"She told you those were her favorites?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Are those not her favorites?" Chandler asked.

"They are. But she used to tell people her favorite movie was _Terms of Endearment_. She thought people would judge her if they knew she liked those movies. Nice to hear her being truthful," Ross said.

"Maybe Bing wants to bang her," Joey said.

"No, no definitely not….but I'll watch movies with her," Chandler said.

Ross smiled at that. It was Chandler's way of solidifying a friendship and it was nice to hear. When the boys were done messing with the bed, Chandler made the bed so neatly that it truly looked like nothing was wrong. They finished packing up Rachel's items and soon Monica and Rachel joined them in the bedroom. Of course, the smell of the aftershave and cologne was a give away that something had happened. As the five stood there, Ross noticed a look appear on his sister's face.

"What did you boys do?" Monica asked.

"We aftershaved and cologned his bed," Joey said.

"Seriously, guys? Why?" Monica said.

"Chandler told us to," Joey said.

"Chandler, really," Monica said, "now, we have to wash sheets and-"

"Mon, no. No. Leave it," Rachel said, stopping Monica before she reached for the sheets.

"But it's gonna smell," Monica said.

"That's kinda the point," Ross said.

"Just leave it. He went to Aruba….our honeymoon, I don't know if he went with someone or he went alone and those messages, you heard them and they...this was my home, I was proposed to out there on that balcony and...I'm leaving and I thought those people were my friends and…." Rachel began crying again and Ross placed his arm around her, comforting her. Monica let out a sigh and Ross knew that Rachel's tears were once again getting to Monica. Some things never change….

"Okay, fine….let's leave it," Monica said.

"Yay," Chandler said.

Monica shook her head as Chandler placed his arm around Monica and Monica gently elbowed him. Ross heard Rachel let out a snort, he looked at her shaking her head. She looked up at him.

"Still nothing?" Rachel asked, her voice a whisper that only he could hear. He knew what she meant and it made him let out a laugh as well.

"They're not bright," Ross whispered back.

"Clearly," Rachel said.

Chandler turned and shot them both a look, "you two are really bad at whispering and Rachel, you suck," he whispered.

"Bite me," Rachel whispered but was laughing and he had to laugh, as well.

"Alright, let's get going," Monica said, she had been too involved making sure everything was packed to pay much attention to anything else and with boxes in hand, the group left the room and walked towards the front door. Rachel stood frozen and Ross stood by her.

"You alright?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. This is hard. I mean, I know I'm doing the right thing but-"

"You're going home," Ross said.

"Yeah," Rachel said as they turned to follow Chandler, Joey and Monica out the door. Ross kept noticing Chandler staring at him as they walked out of the building.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Nothing….dumbass," Chandler said, softly. The rest of the group were farther ahead and out of earshot.

"What?"

"Two Face and Science Boy sitting in a tree…."

"Shut up," Ross said.

Chandler kept grinning and Ross wanted to try punching him or maybe reintroducing him to Lizzie although that might not end well.

Watching Rachel adjust to her new world was mildly amusing to Ross. It was like watching a real life fish out of water or some other less used cliche. She clearly had never lived on her own and while he did not want to admit it, it was fun to watch. Especially when she got a job at Central Perk. He knew he should be nice to her but he couldn't help himself.

"So, how is it?" Ross asked as Rachel served him coffee. He was at the bar and thought she did look cute in her waitress outfit although she could have smiled a bit more.

"I'm doing this to help me."

"Exactly….and 'cause I like coffee."

"Bite me."

"That's not good customer service."

"Bite me hard."

"This is good coffee serving. You're doing well."

"It's not fashion."

"You look adorable," Ross said.

He was having way too much fun with her. He couldn't stop. It was kind of amazing though, watching her pick up her life and he was enjoying his ringside seat.

"Thanks. How did I end up here?"

"You ran out on your wedding and applied to a job at a coffee house?"

"I didn't mean that literally," Rachel said.

"You will do fine. You got your first job. Was this your first real, official job interview?"

"No, I interviewed once at BCBG."

"And?"

"And what?"

"How did it go?"

"Really well….so well in fact that I'm still working there," Rachel said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

"You really gotta work on that customer service," Ross retorted.

"Bite me, Geller," Rachel said as she walked off to go take more orders as he watched her. She was trying and he thought more about those comics that he and Jonathan and Sam and Will used to write, maybe it was time to crack them open again. Rewrite a few?

Joey and Ross had a plan. Rachel, Monica and Phoebe were planning some girl's night and this would be the perfect opportunity. The Rangers were playing and the three boys were going together. Chandler didn't know it but Joey and Ross were on a mission to break their friend. Ross was packing a bag much to the chagrin of Lizzie who was watching, thinking the whole thing was rather hilarious.

"They're not going to let you bring a marshmallow gun into Madison Square Garden," Lizzie said, sitting on her couch with Lauren sitting next to her.

"What's that?" Lauren asked pointing. Ross shot the marshmallow gun at Lauren and Lizzie. Lauren laughed as the marshmallow hit her head.

"I'm not gonna shoot it at the players," Ross said.

"They don't know that. He's not gonna break. I swear. I put a jacket over our laps and gave him a-" Lizzie said before suddenly stopping and realizing Lauren was staring at her.

"A what?" Ross asked, grinning wildly at her.

"Um….a slow clap," Lizzie said.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"I made him excited about more than just the game," Lizzie said.

"And?"

"Still didn't break."

"Maybe you didn't do it right." Ross said.

"I did it right."

"Well, no we aren't going to do that. But you know, we will break him. I swear."

"No, you won't. So how is it having Rachel back? I saw her at Central Perk. She's working there?"

"When were you there?"

"Yesterday."

"Oh, you venturing into my world."

"I wanted coffee," Lizzie said.

"Did she remember you?" Ross asked.

"Of course not but I haven't seen her in a long time so I didn't expect her to and she seems like she's gotten nicer, I only had a brief interaction with her but I didn't wanna throw coffee at her although….she's not great with the customer service. I ordered a vanilla latte and she gave me an Earl Gray tea and a chocolate muffin. I'm not sure how she got there."

"It's a process," Ross said, laughing. "At least you ordered something. Chandler didn't even order anything and she gave him a coffee and a cookie."

"Awww, it's hard. She was sweet though."

"She went to dinner with some old friends of her's tonight and then I think she, Phoebe and Mon are having a sleepover while we try to break Chandler. So I may or may not come over tonight."

"Okay," Lizzie said.

"And I will leave the bag here and just buy stuff to chuck at his head while I'm there," Ross said.

"Good move."

Ross walked towards the couch and gave both Lauren and Lizzie kisses goodbye and walked out the door to meet up with Joey and Chandler. Chandler sat between them and Ross and Joey went to get snacks, lots of snacks and when they returned, Chandler had his eyes glued to the ice already. When the game began, they tried. They tried to throw popcorn at his head, ice, peanuts, Joey had even thought of trying relish but thought the better of it, not wanting to waste good relish. This was fun, amazing fun. He hadn't had this much fun in a long time. When Joey tried to stick a hot dog wiener in Chandler's ear and Chandler smacked him with it while still looking at the ice, Ross almost lost it. He could not remember a time when he had really laughed, truly laughed that hard. Chandler finally broke his gaze during half-time. He looked rather angry.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Chandler asked.

"I feel like we should ask you that same question," Ross said.

"People do speak to each other at hockey games," Joey said.

"Those people are stupid," Chandler said.

"Liz told me that she once gave you a hand job underneath a jacket at a hockey game and you still wouldn't look at her," Ross said before realizing his mistake. Chandler cocked his head to the side and looked at him, curiously.

"When did you talk to Liz?" Chandler asked.

"Um….I remember she told me that in college," Ross tried.

"Oh," Chandler said, "you don't still talk to her, do you?"

"No. No, of course not," Ross said.

"Wait, a chick gave you a hand job and you were more interested in the hockey players?" Joey asked.

"She's not 'a chick'. She's Lizzie and kept me alive through college which was a very difficult thing to do and….wait, Ross, you would tell me if you were still in touch with her, right?"

"Yes, yeah...of course. I haven't talked to her in years."

"Alright."

He felt guilty about lying. He knew he should say something but they were having fun, way too much fun and telling Chandler would ruin it. He just could not go there yet but by the look on Chandler's face, Ross wondered if maybe Chandler suspected something.

And just like that, the conversation was halted. The game began and maybe it was karma, but before he knew it, a hockey puck flew at his face and hit him square in the nose. The outing was cut short when they had to make a run to the emergency room and then crashed girl's night. Rachel, Phoebe and Monica were sufficiently drunk from Slow Death smoothies, Monica's concoction. She had made a variation of that drink he had when he had spent July 4th weekend with Monica, Phoebe and Chandler. Chandler and Joey immediately went to the kitchen to pour themselves glasses and Ross was on pain meds so felt sad he could not participate.

"How's your face?" Rachel asked, stumbling towards him. He placed his arm around her to keep her balanced.

"Hurts," Ross said.

"Hey," Joey said, peering into the fridge and pulling out food, "why is there practically an entire lobster in your fridge?"

"Oh, that's mine. When I went out with my old friends today, they said they would pay for my dinner. So I ordered a fifty dollar lobster and a twenty five dollar glass of wine," Rachel said.

"Nice," Ross said.

"You're the best person ever," Chandler said.

"I know, right?" Rachel said.

"How was your night?" Ross asked.

"Good. I'm home," Rachel said.

"Welcome home," Ross said.

"Are we playing Twister?" Phoebe asked, loudly.

"I wanna play Twister. I rock Twizzlers. Twizzer….Twist...what?" Monica asked.

"Wow, we gotta catch up," Chandler said as he and Joey inhaled their smoothies and poured more glasses.

"We should do naked Twister," Joey said.

"No. You're stupid. Hey, did you two try to break Bing at the game tonight?" Monica asked.

"No, we broke Ross instead," Joey said, walking past Ross and patting him on the back.

"Why did you try to break Chandler?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause he's a jackass," Joey said.

"Well, I know that," Rachel said.

"Funny, Green. How's your husband?" Chandler asked, placing around Rachel's shoulders. She laughed and shook her head as the group began to play Twister with Ross in charge of the board because of his nose. He liked watching them all get drunker and drunker and soon they all passed out. A group sleepover for the new group.

A few nights later, he was having dinner with Lauren and Lizzie. Ross' nose was still sore and he was filling Lizzie in on the news he had heard earlier that day. Phoebe had been the person who had robbed Rachel's aunt's store many years ago. It was unbelievable and crazy. Rachel had gone to Long Island earlier that day to buy Phoebe an outfit from the store to make up for the fact that Rachel had apparently bitchy to Phoebe the couple of times she had apparently wandered into the store. Lizzie's mouth dropped listening to this.

"You're serious?" Lizzie asked.

"Completely."

"Wow….how...this is insane."

"I guess during their girl's night, Phoebe admitted that she had met Rachel three times. Once when Rachel and Monica volunteered in a soup kitchen, another time when she apparently got some cash and bought a dress and then the third….when she robbed Rachel blind," Ross said.

"Did she do a lot of damage?" Lizzie asked.

"Apparently, yes."

"Mommy, I want bread," Lauren said as Lizzie reached for the basket to break apart a roll for Lauren.

"Rachel volunteered at a soup kitchen."

"No, Monica volunteered. Rachel stood in the building and insulted people."

"I could see that. Wow, Phoebe...she was homeless and...now she's a licensed masseuse and she's…..how did she get the money to attend school and...how...I have so many questions."

"Me too," Ross said when there was a knock at his door. He and Lizzie froze and stared at each other. Terror shot through him when he thought about the other five. "Who is it?" Ross asked, loudly.

"It's Carol."

Ross and Lizzie both breathed a sigh of relief as Ross got up and walked to the door to let her in.

"Hey, Liz. Hi, Lauren," Carol said, "can I talk to you? Privately?"

"Sure," Ross said, finding that a little odd but he motioned for her to follow him into the bedroom where she proceeded to stun him with news he had not been expecting at all. Carol was pregnant.


	25. Chapter 25

Hey, just a few notes:

To the person who said that Chandler was not interested in sports, once again Chandler didn't have a drug addiction so I've kind of changed the character anyway.

Also, I think it's obvious by now that I've taken things from the actors actual lives and put them into the True Story series. The intense love of hockey as well as the addiction issues that Chandler deals with come directly from Matthew Perry. Monica having two friends named, Ellie and Laurie come from Courteney Cox's other show-Cougar Town. Ross' friends, Jonathan and Sam come from The Single Guy. David Schwimmer is longtime friends with Jonathan Silverman who was The Single Guy. In this chapter, there will also be a nod to another character Jennifer Aniston played. I won't say who...

Having Chandler love hockey changes nothing about the character...also Matthew Perry has gone on record and said he gets very intense during hockey games, I took it a step further

Enjoy and review!

September 1994-November 1994

He kept staring at her, not believing the words coming out of her mouth. How was that even possible? He knew how that was possible but Carol being pregnant? He had longed for a child but had wanted the child when they were together. Now? They weren't, she was living with Susan and he was….there.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"How?" Carol asked.

"No, I know how but then are we getting back together?"

"No."

"But you're pregnant."

"But I'm still a lesbian."

He needed to sit or stand or walk or do something. He needed to leave the room and get air or do something. He sat on his bed and then stood up and sat down again. Lizzie was still outside in his living room, he could hear Lauren talking about something.

"I'm gonna be a father."

"Yes and Susan and I will….be the moms."

"Oh, yeah Susan," Ross said.

"You know, maybe the four of us should have dinner or…."

"Dinner? Four?"

"Susan and I and you and Lizzie."

"I'm not dating Lizzie."

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a knock. Ross jumped and Carol stared at the closed door.

"Hey, I'm gonna take off. Lauren's getting a little cranky….and so am I," Lizzie said through the door.

"Lizzie, you can come in," Ross said. Carol gave him a look like he had lost his mind.

"What?"

"It's rude to keep her waiting," Ross said as he got up and walked out of the bedroom with Lizzie stepping out of the way.

"What's going on?" Lizzie said.

"Ross, guess what? Look, I had a chip and it looked like a snowman but I ate it because I like potato chips and it was good and also mommy said she's gonna make me a meatball 'cause I like pasta and she's gonna make me lunch," Lauren said, from her spot on the couch where she was combing the hair of one of her Barbie dolls.

"Great, Lauren. Carol's pregnant," Ross said.

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"Ross," Carol said, her voice sounding angry.

"Oh….well, okay….mommy, I wanna have macaroni and cheese and juice," Lauren said.

"I'll make it," Ross said, walking into his kitchen with the Carol and Lizzie following him. He angrily grabbed a box of mac and cheese out of the pantry and slammed it shut. He walked over to another cabinet and loudly grabbed a pot.

"Ross, can we talk?" Carol asked.

"Wait and...why-you're pregnant?" Lizzie asked.

"Hey, Lauren. The pastas are shaped like dinosaurs," Ross said, holding up the box.

"That's my favorite kind," Lauren said, "and I want juice but not in a sippy cup 'cause those are for babies."

"I'll get juice," Lizzie said.

"We've got cranberry and grape….well, the grape juice is also called wine, but I do have it," Ross said.

"Cranberry will be fine," Lizzie said.

"Well, she is going into kindergarten next year, never too early to start," Ross mumbled as he poured the dinosaur shaped pasta into the boiling water.

"Father of the year," Lizzie muttered.

"Ross, seriously. Can you talk to me? We need to have a talk."

"Who wil raise our kid?" Ross asked.

"Well, Susan and I," Carol said.

"You know, maybe I should take Lauren and we should go. Lauren's favorite place to get mac and cheese is right around the corner, I'll take her," Lizzie said.

"I'm making her lunch. The pasta are shaped like dinosaurs and it's her favorite."

"This a not a conversation Lauren needs to be listening to," Lizzie said.

"Mommy, I don't want cranberry juice. I want grape juice," Lauren said.

"You can't have Ross' grape juice, honey," Lizzie said as she brought a cup of cranberry juice to the table and motioned for Lauren to come over.

"Why not?" Lauren asked.

"Too much sugar," Lizzie said as she picked Lauren up and placed her on a chair. She walked over to her purse and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with pink straws that had polka dots on them and stuck one in the juice for Lauren to use.

"I want grape juice," Lauren began whining.

"There's is no grape juice," Lizzie said.

"I want grape juice. You said grape juice," Lauren began crying as Ross and Carol exchanged a look. Lizzie glared at them as the little girl began melting down, screaming about grape juice.

"I can go get grape juice," Ross said.

"No, there's no grape juice. It's either this or water," Lizzie said.

"No," Lauren was in hysterics and with her arm, knocked the cup down, pouring the juice all over the table. Lizzie picked up a still screaming Lauren and walked into Ross' room, shutting the door behind her. They could hear commotion behind the closed door as Ross grabbed paper towels to clean the mess. Carol grabbed some as well and helped him. They began cleaning in silence, listening as Lizzie was calming the screaming four year old. Soon, the screaming began to quiet down and Lizzie emerged.

"Lauren's taking a nap. Rule number one of parenting, don't offer something you can't give them," Lizzie said.

"What happened?" Carol asked.

"She's been asking questions about her dad. She has a couple friends at nursery school and when she goes to their houses, she sees their dads and she has wanted to know why she doesn't have one."

"What have you been saying?" Ross asked.

"That she does and he's a very sweet man but we broke up and he moved away and he loves her very much," Lizzie said. "You're both gonna co-parent, right?"

"Well, Carol and Susan are raising our child," Ross said.

"Ross, you're still involved. That's why I told you. I told you because you will be involved."

"When?"

"I don't know, we will work on an agreement," Carol said.

"Great. I wanted us to be a family. I wanted you and me and our children. Not you, me and Susan."

"I know."

Ross walked back to the kitchen and poured the pasta into a drainer and finished making the mac and cheese for Lauren to eat while Lizzie and Carol continued cleaning the table in silence. He poured the pasta in a bowl and opened the cheese powder pour on top and quickly began mixing it. As soon as he grabbed a spoon, he could hear Lauren calling for Lizzie from his room. Lizzie walked towards his room but Ross stopped her, he shook his head and walked in to see Lauren sitting on his bed, her tear stained face looked up at him as he lay next to her, handing her the bowl of mac and cheese.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I made a mess," Lauren sniffled as she ate.

"It's okay."

"Ross, do you have a daddy?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah, but he's like super old."

"Like ten?"

"Yep."

"I don't have a daddy. Rebecca and Haley have daddies but I don't 'cause he doesn't like me."

"Well, that's not true. You have a daddy. He's on an adventure," Ross said.

"He is? Like Aladdin?"

"Yep, exactly."

"Is he gonna bring me stuff?"

"Yes, tons of presents. More than Rebecca and Haley's daddies give them."

"Why can't I go on his adventure?" Lauren asked.

"'Cause it's for grownups. It's dangerous."

"I miss him."

"He misses you," Ross said as Lauren snuggled up next to him, still eating her macaroni and cheese. "But until he comes back, you got your mommy and me and….Carol and Carol's friend Susan."

"I'm gonna go to kindergarten."

"I know. You're getting big."

"Is my daddy gonna be back from his adventure to take me to kindergarten?" Lauren asked.

"If he's not. I'll take you."

"With mommy?"

"You bet."

"Does he like dinosaurs?"

"He loves them."

"Good."

"Does he like macaroni and cheese?"

"He invented it."

"Really?" Lauren asked, her eyes widening.

"Is he with Simba?" Lauren asked.

"From the Lion King?"

"Yeah."

"He is helping Simba with his kingdom."

"Wow."

"Hey, Lauren," Lizzie said.

Ross looked up and noticed Lizzie and Carol standing in his doorway. Both were smiling at him. He took a deep breath and looked back at the little girl who was still sniffling a little.

"We got Aladdin ready for watch in the other room," Lizzie said.

"And I do have The Lion King," Ross said, grinning, "it's a good movie."

Lauren wiggled towards the edge of the bed and Lizzie walked towards her to help her. She grabbed Lauren's hand walked out of the room. Carol walked in and lay down next to him.

"That was sweet."

"I have to be involved in this kid's life, I'm gonna be a dad."

"We will make this work, Ross. You, me and Susan and you will be in this child's life. You won't be like Lauren's dad."

"I could never do that….maybe you could have a boy and it could be Lauren's future husband."

"She's gonna be like five years older than him," Carol said.

"Yeah, but by the time they're both old enough to get married, what will it matter?" Ross asked. "That would be cool."

"It would, but you will be involved, we share custody, we will make this work. I promise you. Just like Lauren, this kid is gonna get so much love that it won't matter."

"I hate Susan."

"I know, but now it's gonna be the three of us….forever."

"Oh, joy."

"Ross?" Lauren asked walking over to him. "Will you watch with me?"

"I was waiting for you to ask."

"Do you think my daddy is with Aladdin?" Lauren asked as Ross got off the bed and swooped Lauren up in his arms.

"Yes, I do. Aladdin and your daddy are best friends and they go hang out with Simba all the time and have parties."

"Does Princess Jasmine come?" Lauren asked as he carried out into the living room with Carol following.

"Of course," Ross said.

"Cool," Lauren said as Ross sat her back down on the couch and Lizzie gave him a smile. Carol plopped herself down next to Ross as they all continued to watch Aladdin followed by The Lion King. Ross' mind was whirling, he was going to be a father. How would he do this? Carol said he would include him in everything but what would he miss? How much would he get to see his son or daughter? It also dawned on him that he would have to tell people. He would have to tell his parents, his sister and as he watched Aladdin fly with Jasmine on that magic carpet, there was a small part of him that wondered if it was at all possible for him to hitch a ride.

After Carol, Lizzie and Lauren left, he headed over to Monica's for dinner. He was secretly freaking out as he walked up those flights of stairs. As he reached Monica's floor, he heard loud noises coming from Chandler and Joey's apartment. He opened the door just a hammer flew by his head and lodged into a dartboard.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Ross asked.

"Hammer darts," Joey said.

"You gotta learn to knock," man," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to walk into you morons throwing hammers at your wall. You do realize you won't be getting the security deposit back," Ross said.

"Oh, I kissed that goodbye a long time ago, look up," Chandler said.

Ross looked up and noticed food stains on the ceiling, "what is that?"

"Food art. We were trying see which condiments had better sticking power," Chandler said.

"It was for science," Joey said.

"You're both grown adults, you do realize that, don't you?" Ross asked.

"Don't be a hater," Chandler said.

"I'll try...by the way, Carol's pregnant. With my child," Ross said.

"Wow, Carol really sucks at being a lesbian," Joey said.

"Whoa, you're gonna be a dad?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah."

"I couldn't even imagine being a dad," Chandler said.

"Oh, that would be my worst nightmare. Some chick calling me up and and going, 'yeah, you got a kid,'. I'd be like wrong number," Joey said.

"You're a classy, classy man," Chandler said.

"I know, right?" Joey said.

"What are you going to do?" Chandler asked.

"I don't know. What would you do?" Ross asked.

"Me? Please, I will never be a father," Chandler said.

"You won't?" Joey asked.

"No, I don't want kids. I grew up in the most fucked home you could imagine and I'd be a horrible dad," Chandler said.

"Okay, what am I going to do?" Ross asked.

"Simple, just don't call back," Joey said.

"Carol's my ex-wife. Alright let's go talk to the girls, maybe they'll help," Ross said as he walked out with the boys following behind him. They walked into the Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica was cooking while Phoebe and Rachel were on the couch, drinking slow death smoothies.

"Chandler, I thought you said you had shown Phoebe all the John Hughes movies," Rachel said.

"I did," Chandler said.

"Then why did she just say that Ferris Bueller is better than Breakfast Club?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause it is," Chandler said.

"Oh my G-d, you really are an idiot," Rachel got up and began practically marching towards the door.

"Why do you say that Princess?" Chandler asked, grinning.

"We are taking all the John Hughes movies from your collection and we are watching them and I will prove it and-"

"I loved Sixteen Candles," Monica said.

"That was awesome too, I'll be back," Rachel walked out of the apartment.

"Don't touch my movies, I don't want Rachel cooties," Chandler yelled, following her out of the apartment. Monica let out a laugh as Ross joined her in the kitchen and Joey went to join Phoebe on the couch.

"At least they're getting along," Ross said.

"They really are, surprisingly. I guess any hatred they had towards each other went away."

"I was right."

"What were you right about?" Monica asked.

"I had feeling that if they actually got to know each other, they would be friends."

"Ross, you're gonna be a dad?" Phoebe asked from the couch.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Thanks, Joe," Ross said.

"I thought we were telling people," Joey said.

"Stop touching my movies inappropriately," Chandler said as he followed a very angry Rachel back into the apartment. As they walked in, both stopped as it was impossible to ignore the mood change.

"Why is it weird?" Rachel asked.

"You're gonna be a dad?" Monica asked.

"Mazel Tov," Chandler said.

"You already knew," Ross said.

"Ehhh," Chandler said as he grabbed the movies out of Rachel's hands and walked over to the couch, with Rachel glaring at him and storming after him.

"You're gonna be a dad?" Monica asked again.

"Yeah. Carol is pregnant," Ross said.

"How?" Monica asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Never mind," Monica said.

"What am I gonna do?" Ross asked.

"You're gonna be a dad. What else can you do? You have no other choice," Monica said.

"It's not like Carol and Susan will move in with me and the kid will live with them most of the time," Ross said.

"It'll be amazing," Monica said.

"And Mon, you'll be an aunt," Phoebe said.

"I will, oh, I will. That'll be even better. It will be practice for when I have my own. Oh, I have to call Carol. We'll have to put together a baby shower. A lesbian baby shower, oh that'll be fun. There's just so much to buy, I have to create a menu and-"

"Are you now more involved in this than I am?" Ross asked, grinning at his forever baby-crazed sister.

"I think I just might be," Monica mused.

"And Chandler will be an amazing uncle," Rachel said.

Ross laughed a little at that. Ever since their little shared moment at Rachel's old apartment, he had a feeling Rachel believed something was going on between Monica and Chandler or something should.

"I am going to kill you," Chandler said.

"Yeah, Rach. I'd be careful seeing as I have a sharp knife in my hand and I am feeling clumsy and by the way, I think Sixteen Candles was better than Ferris Bueller or Breakfast Club," Monica said.

"Get out of your apartment," Chandler said.

"I liked the Ferris Bueller television show. Remember that? The girl who played Jeannie looked so much like me it was scary," Rachel mused.

"No she didn't, that girl was hot," Chandler said.

"Can we please talk about the fact that I'm gonna be a dad?" Ross asked.

"You're gonna be fine, Ross. You're gonna be an amazing dad and I will be an even better aunt and I'm gonna make sure you don't fuck up my nephew. You're not alone," Monica said.

"I know," Ross said as he let out a sigh walked over to the couch. Chandler began to load Ferris Bueller much to Rachel's objection that they watch Breakfast Club first. He liked being surrounded by them, it took his mind off the changes that would soon be happening in his life.

He turned twenty five that October and in the first quarter century of his life, he had been married and divorced and now he would be a father. He got practice with Lauren. That Halloween, he went trick or treating with Lauren and Lizzie and he loved walking with her and holding her hand, having her practice saying "trick or treat" and then "thank you" after she got a piece of candy. It did excite him that he would one day be able to take his own child trick or treating and maybe he could take his kid trick or treating with Lauren?

November came with more changes as the realization that he was going to have a child became even more real with each passing sonogram. He had put off telling his parents. He had not wanted to tell them. Telling them about the divorce was one thing but now they would be grandparents. He knew he had to but it was a matter of when and that moment came sooner than he wanted when apparently painkillers made that choice for him.

During the funeral for his grandmother, Ross had fallen in a grave and had been given painkillers which seemed to result in him telling the truth to everyone. He told his parents that Carol was pregnant with their grandchild and he told Rachel that he was in love with her. It was the worst funeral ever. His parents had many questions when he had come down from his painkiller high as did Rachel. His parents kept leaving messages and Rachel ended up showing up at the museum for an impromptu lunch.

"It was the drugs. I fell in a grave, Rach," Ross tried.

"That must have been terrifying."

"It was not fun."

"Ross….I like you a lot, I do...but….I can't….I just can't get into another relationship."

"What about Paolo?" Ross asked. That was a new development as well. During a citywide blackout, Rachel had met this guy, Paolo whom he thought was a turd. She had told Ross it was all about passion and that after Chip and Barry, she just wanted passion. It didn't make Ross hate Paolo any less.

"I told you...it's different. Ross….I don't know."

"I know. Look, okay...I did like you when we were kids," Ross said, at least giving her that.

"I did too. I liked dancing with you at Monica's Bat Mitzvah."

"I liked that I made ten bucks," Ross grinned.

"I'm sure you did. I just...you know Monica and Chandler like each other," Rachel said.

Ross let out a snort and shook his head. He knew Rachel knew that and was just changing the subject and he was more than happy to follow.

"Oh, I know."

"You know?"

"I know. Monica's twenty first birthday? Apparently, she told the guy that she was dating at the time that she loved Chandler."

"Nooooo," Rachel said.

"Yes and when Chandler and I and these two buddies of ours went on a cross country trip, Chandler mailed Monica a postcard from every city we were in."

"Awwww, that's so sweet."

"So, it's inevitable."

"So then…"

"Well, you know...neither one are that smart," Ross joked, which made Rachel laugh a little.

"I guess so."

"So...how have you been doing? This whole new life?" Ross asked.

"I'm okay. Getting there. It's strange. I haven't spoken to anyone from my old life. You know and it's odd...it's odd how quickly I was dropped. I'm excited for Thanksgiving though, my family is going to Vail. We used to go to the Lake House with Barry's family."

"That place is nice."

"It is...and I used to love Vail. A bunch of us would go every Christmas and New Years. I can't do that this year. We would spend the whole month in Vail, skiing and having so much fun. I almost burnt down Kiki's cabin once because I tried to make to toast."

"Seriously?"

"The toaster was defective."

"I'm sure."

"I'm gonna miss that that though. I mean, don't get me wrong….I would so much rather spend it with you guys but for the past five years, I pretty much spent an entire month in Vail celebrating the holidays in a cabin with fifteen other people. It was fun...it's the first year I really won't be able to, not that I'd be invited now but still….it makes me a little sad," Rachel said.

"Well, we will make it fun. We will all probably hang out and you know, if you want, you and I can make fun of Monica and Chandler and take bets on when they'll finally get together?"

"I love that. When are you thinking?" Rachel asked.

"Next five years."

"So you're betting on 1999?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm gonna go a year earlier. 1998."

"Okay…..hundred dollars."

"I'm a waitress," Rachel said.

"We're talking four or five years from now."

"Okay. Hundred dollars."

Rachel grinned as she and Ross shook hands and continued their lunch. Sitting across from her, he wondered. He was single, technically. Sure there was whatever was going on with Lizzie and Rachel was doing something with Paolo but he did like her. He had always liked her and loved what she was doing. She was starting over and those feelings did not go away. She was two face, although, lately he thought she could be...just Rachel.

"Can I ask you something else?" Ross asked, staring at his food and then back at Rachel.

"Sure."

"I know you're not ready and-and-that's okay but when you're ready….if you want...would you wanna maybe go-go out sometimes?"

"On a date?"

"Maybe?"

"On a date with you?" Rachel asked.

"I would like to be there….you know...yeah…"

"Yeah. When I'm ready, I would like that," Rachel said.

He kept thinking about his lunch with Rachel. She kept telling him about Vail. As it got closer to Thanksgiving, the idea of getting away also sounded good. Sure they couldn't afford Vail, but there were places in New York to go skiing. Maybe a daytrip would be a good idea. It would get his mind off of everything. That Thanksgiving ended up being unexpected, the six had Thanksgiving over grilled cheese sandwiches because Monica had accidentally burned the dinner because apparently Chandler had convinced the others to go look at an Underdog balloon from the roof. It was sitting there though, that he decided that they needed a moment away.

"You know…we can still ski," Ross said after Chandler's toast and they continued eating their sandwiches.

"Are we going to Vail?" Rachel asked.

"No, but there are places to ski in New York. Would you guys wanna go skiing tomorrow or this weekend? There are places in the Catskills and I mean, Vail isn't the only place to ski," Ross said.

It was decided, a day in the Catskills Mountains skiing would be the best way to get his mind off everything. If he knew how to ski. He hadn't really thought of that until he and Rachel were standing side by side on the top of a mountain made of ice. He would actually have to ski.

"Ross, have you ever skied before?" Rachel asked.

"Yes."

"When?"

"I had a dream once."

"Okay, Ross ….stand up."

"I can't."

"Come on," Rachel said, reaching for his hand. He grabbed it as she gently pulled him up. She tried to help him remain standing.

"I think I have it," Ross said.

"You sure?" Rachel asked, still not letting go of him.

"Yeah. I think so."

Rachel slowly let go of him but when he started to slip again, she grabbed him.

"Why did you suggest skiing if you've never done it?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause...you wanted to and you were looking forward to Vail so…."

"That's sweet….okay, let's do this although, if you want, we can hit the bunny slopes."

"No, no….it's fine. I don't….I don't want Chandler and Joey to make fun of me."

"Honey, they already make fun of you."

"I know."

"Alright, keep your balance and go slow. Okay?"

Ross nodded as Rachel proceeded to help him ski down the mountain. She laughed as he tried desperately to keep his balance and not fall over. It was a tad awkward considering he had about six inches on her but he did his best. When they finally reached the bottom, he decided he needed a break. So he crawled towards a tree and sat by it. Rachel sat next to him as they watched skiers speed past them.

"So who's your girlfriend?" Rachel asked.

"What?"

"Your girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Ross, don't lie. I saw you."

"When?" Ross asked, his heart beating a little faster. Had she caught Lizzie and him together?

"A couple days ago. I saw you at the mall holding hands with a very pretty brunette girl."

"Oh, no," Ross said, his heart dropping to his stomach. He had been at the mall with Lizzie, they had been looking for a present for Lauren who was going to be doing a Thanksgiving recital at her nursery school. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"'Cause I wasn't sure, you had never mentioned a girlfriend so I thought I should wait….who is she?"

"Okay, alright….Rach, you cannot tell anyone."

"Okay. Who is she?"

"She's not a girlfriend. At all. She's a friend from college. She's….Lizzie. Chandler's ex-girlfriend. After they broke up, Lizzie and I remained close and she has a four year old. Not mine, not Chandler's...we don't know who the dad is but Liz and I have hooked up, many times and...it's a sort of friends with benefits thing and we have not told Chandler. We cannot tell Chandler. He doesn't know I keep in touch with her."

"Wow, Ross."

"I know."

"Would he be upset if he found out?"

"He wouldn't be happy. He loved that girl….he just treated her like shit but….I love hanging out with Lauren, though. She's so sweet. She was the reason I wanted a kid with Carol. I'm excited about this, you know but it's...it's not how I expected the things to go."

"I know the feeling. But you know, Vail is spectacular. Gorgeous but today….was twenty times better than Vail could ever be. So even though it's not quite what I wanted, it's better and don't worry. I won't tell Chandler."

"Thank you," Ross said.

They remained side by side, silently watching the skiers and Ross kept thinking about Lizzie and Lauren and Carol and Susan. 1995 was just around the corner and with that would bring fatherhood, not what he was expecting but maybe Rachel was right, it would be better.


	26. Chapter 26

**January 1995-May 1995**

He could not believe he had done it. He had kissed Nora Bing. Why had he kissed her? He had been drunk. Rachel had been making out with Paolo and he had been drunk and kissed Chandler's mom, something Lizzie couldn't get past as he lay in bed with her and he was still a little drunk from the dinner where he had shared that kiss with Nora.

"You kissed Mrs. Bing."

"Yep."

"Oh my G-d. Did Chandler find out?"

"Hasn't yet but he will. His roommate caught me."

"Oh my G-d. He's gonna kill you."

"Maybe I should tell him we're hooking up."

"Do that and I'll kill you," Lizzie said.

"How….I don't know how this happened. I know how it happened but-"

"I hated Mrs. Bing and Mr. Bing. When I first met Chandler, he had actually been suspended from school. He was supposed to go to camp that summer but he got suspended for some prank and he was spending the summer with his dad and I never really met his dad. His dad had this driver that drove Chandler around and I met Chandler was my first kiss. Although, it was funny because he was so afraid of me kissing him that he was frozen. I kissed him and he stood as still as he possibly could. He didn't move."

"Oh, Chandler," Ross said, laughing. Chandler had told him parts of that story, how he had not moved an inch while Lizzie gave him that first kiss because he was afraid if he moved, Lizzie would stop.

"And all he wanted to do that summer was go to Disneyland. All he talked about."

"That's all he talked about on our cross country trip."

"His dad was supposed to take him and instead had Chandler perform in his drag show. Chandler was….he was...how much has he told you?" Lizzie asked.

"A lot. I heard about what happened in middle school, I heard about...about...what do you know?"

"Everything. Every little thing. Do you know what happened with one of his mom's boyfriends?"

"Yep," Ross said, knowing Lizzie was reluctant to say anything just in case he didn't know, but he knew.

"I felt for him. No kid should go through that and I was pissed at his mom and-"

"He did have an awesome house though."

"Oh, he did...can I tell you something? You know that winter break when Chandler went through withdrawals? He was feeling better and well….while you and Mon and everyone else were sleeping in guest rooms and whatnot, we did it in the theater."

"Oh my G-d, you two were like animals."

"Don't think we didn't have some amazing times together."

"I know you two did."

"Never kissed his mother though," Lizzie mused. "Why...what happened?"

"Rach is dating an Italian guy."

"Okay?"

"She shouldn't be with this guy. He's a turd. He's awful, he'll totally break her heart and-"

"Is she in love with?"

"No, I don't think so. They just have sex a lot."

"Well, okay….how long was she with her fiancee?"

"I don't know, six years?"

"Did she have a boyfriend in high school?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, Chip. They dated during middle school and high school. So six years."

"This guy is a rebound, Ross. Let her….bound."

"Why are you on her side?"

"'Cause I know what it's like to get out of a long relationship and so do you and besides, it's kinda what you and I are doing...secretly. Look, this girl has given up her entire life and….let her have some fun. From what you've told me, she's earned it."

"You know, you can be a real know-it-all sometimes."

"I know. Chandler used to say that Monica and I had the same personality," Lizzie said.

"Please do not say stuff like that when I'm lying in bed next to you."

"Sorry. He also called me a Mary Sue once. I still don't know what that means."

"Means you're a know-it-all," Ross grinned. "He was insulting you. I'm impressed he knew that one."

"Wait….dumbass, I am not. I just happen to be exceptionally smart….or have common sense," Lizzie said, sounding rather upset.

"Who are you calling a dumbass?"

"Chandler."

"Oh, I can see that."

"Dumbass. I'm not a fucking Mary Ass Sue. He's a Mary Sue and he's a dumbass," Lizzie grumbled. Ross laughed as he held her closer to him.

"You're right."

"About most things."

"You know, Rachel saw us. During Thanksgiving, when we went to the mall."

"Oh?"

"She asked who my girlfriend was. I told her. She said she won't tell Chandler."

"Did she remember me?"

"No….I also asked her if I could ask her out. When she's finished with the Italian turd."

"Really?"

"Can I tell you something? I used to wonder what that would be like. Two Face is Rachel, you know?"

"I know and you're Science Boy. I remember that picture on your wall. My G-d, Chandler and I had fun with that one."

"You know, they're friends now. Really They watch movies, he still calls her a Princess and she calls him a loser, but it's friendlier now."

"That's good."

"I can't date Rachel," Ross said.

"'Cause she's dating an Italian turd."

"No, 'cause…'cause the reality will never be as good as what I'm fantasizing."

"Probably not….but it might be better."

"I don't think I wanna take that chance. I'll date you instead," Ross grinned.

"Awww, well, that's romantic."

"I know, right," Ross said as he held Lizzie closer to him and gently kissed her neck. He loved laying there with her, being with her. There were no strings attached, no guilt, just the two of them, together. There were no labels and that was nice, it felt like a distraction for both of them. Outside of Lizzie, everything was changing. Carol was pregnant and now he kissed Nora Bing and once Chandler found out, he knew there would be a fight.

He wasn't wrong. Chandler was furious, he would barely look at him. Pacing back and forth in Chandler and Joey's apartment, Ross watched him as Chandler kept muttering what Ross was hoping would not be his new nickname, "mother kisser".

"Look, Chandler I-"

"Fuck you."

"Okay, you have the right to be pissed but understand, I mean..Rachel and Paolo-"

"I don't give a crap about Rachel and Paolo. I don't give a shit about what you're feeling about Rachel dating an Italian guy. You-after everything I've told you about my childhood, about what happened….about my mom's boyfriend who-who-did-who-"

"Does your mom know about that?"

"No, don't try to change the subject," Chandler said.

"Why doesn't she know," Ross said, still pushing. He knew his friend was angry and part of him wondered if there wasn't more to the story. Ross knew the issues between Chandler and his parents and he knew Chandler had never said anything.

"She doesn't need to."

"Maybe she does. Dude, your mom put you through hell-"

"This isn't about my mother, this is about you, you mother kisser."

"Your mother should know about this. She should know that you were sexually assaulted by one of her boyfriends."

"It was a long time ago."

"And it doesn't still affect you?"

"Why are you putting this on me? You're the one who kissed my mom."

"And it was wrong and I am sorry. I was drunk, like you haven't done fucked up things when you were drunk and if you say no, I'll punch you in the face."

"I never kissed your mom."

"Well, thank you. You've done other crap."

"I can't-"

"Hey, honey….Ross," Nora said as she walked into the apartment. Ross and Chandler both got quiet. Ross looked at the floor and at Nora and back at Chandler.

"You kissed my best Ross….or something like that," Chandler suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Nora asked.

"You know, I'm gonna go," Ross said.

"Stay," Chandler said.

"No," Ross said as he walked towards the door, passing Nora, he simply nodded and walked out, sitting on the steps. He looked over at Monica and Rachel's apartment and contemplated walking into hang out with them but instead he remained frozen on the steps and soon he heard yelling. He got up and walked up to Chandler and Joey's closed door and leaned in, he began to hear Chandler yelling. Chandler was telling his mother off and he had never heard this from his friend. He had heard Chandler make jokes, be sarcastic but to actual reveal his pain, that was something else.

"You let him touch me."

When Ross heard that statement said loudly by Chandler, he stepped back, he knew he should not be listening. He felt almost proud of his friend though for finally telling the truth. He sat back on the steps and continued to wait until the door finally opened and Nora and Chandler stood there. Nora looked like she had been crying.

"Hey Nor-Mrs. Bing," Ross said, holding out his hand for her to shake. Chandler let out a laugh.

"Hey, sweetie," Nora said, shaking his hand, "look, Ross can you promise me something?"

"You can't kiss him goodbye," Chandler said.

Nora rolled her eyes and looked back at Ross. "no, promise me…..you'll watch out for him. He may not believe it, but I do think I have the greatest kid and I want him around for awhile."

"Well, don't go around kissing my friends and your kid will probably live a lot longer," Chandler said.

"He's never going to let that go," Nora said.

"No, but um….I've been making sure he stays alive for the past seven years. I plan to keep doing that."

"Good, alright...goodbye," Nora said, giving Chandler a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. Ross simply nodded as Nora nodded back at him and soon disappeared down the hall. Ross looked back at Chandler who smiled at walked back into the apartment. Ross slammed the door behind him and sat on the couch as Chandler grabbed a couple beers from the fridge and walked over to the couch and handed one to Ross before plopping down next to him.

"Here you go, mother kisser," Chandler said.

"How long is that nickname gonna last?" Ross asked.

"Haven't decided yet. I told her. I told her about Rick and Alex...and all the guys. I know I'm probably complaining too much. I like my life now and you know, it could've been worse. I could've been homeless for ten years. But it's just...I don't know...I remember when Alex gave me the LSD. I woke up alone outside. I didn't know if anyone had bothered to look for me and when I came inside, Sophie...my nanny hugged me and made feel all warm and fuzzy inside and not just 'cause she had big boobs. I remember that. I remember she was catering a New Year's party in Long Island."

"In Long Island?" Ross asked.

It was a lot to process. He wanted to talk about Chandler finally telling his mom everything but something about the New Year's parties in Long Island made him stop. He was from Long Island, Rachel's family used to have parties on New Year's Day. Could it be possible?

"Yeah and she took me and there was a girl...a chubby girl and she made me a friendship bracelet. that I actually gave to Rachel when we went to camp"

"I thought you hated Rachel at camp?" Ross asked.

"I did," Chandler said. "She had played me, pretending she was upset about the prank I pulled on her and I gave it to her. But that party was amazing. ...it was the first party I had ever been too where there were kids and there was a kids playroom and I remember it was a doctor's house because Sophie said I couldn't say anything about drinking or dropping acid the night before. I remember the house was huge...and I was terrified. I stood there watching all these kids play and I kept thinking I bet I'm the only kid here who took LSD the night before."

"A party in Long Island at a doctor's house? New Years?" Ross asked.

"New Years Day. Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Chandler asked.

"Just thinking," Ross said as he began to connect the dots in his head. A party at a doctor's house? Long Island? He suddenly remembered one particular party. That kid. He had been kind of weird. As he kept dot connecting, Rachel and Monica walked into the apartment complaining about Monica's current "boyfriend". Apparently, Phoebe and Monica had fallen for a guy in a coma and when the guy woke up, he was a jerk. He tried listening as Monica, Rachel and Chandler were messing around with each other and normally he would have been fully involved in making fun of his sister but he could not stop thinking about what Chandler had just said.

"Hey, Rach...what was the name of the caterer that your family used for your New Years Day parties?" Ross asked as Monica, Chandler and Rachel looked at him, confused.

"I don't know. I remember she had really big boobs. My sisters and I used to ask our mom if we would grow up and have boobs like her...I think her name started with an A or a B...or a C...or a D...or an-" Rachel said.

"E?" Chandler asked.

"No, that's not it," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Oh, I remember those New Years Day parties you used to have...you were so mean, Rach. Wait? And I was your number two best friend and Mindy was your number one best friend...Mindy who is now dating your ex-fiancee. Who's your number one best friend now, bitch?" Monica asked which made Rachel laugh. She turned to give Monica a big hug.

"You, you my coma man loving best friend," Rachel said.

"Thank you." .

"I think Chandler was at one of those parties," Ross said.

"What?" Chandler said.

"I think...the friendship bracelet thing," Ross said.

"Oh, Chandler gave me one of those at camp. I still have it," Rachel said.

"You do?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah...I kept it. I have it in my room. Hold on," Rachel said, getting up and walking out of the apartment. She soon came back holding the friendship bracelet.

"This is it and Chandler said that whenever I needed a friend to look at it and know I had one. I told him I'd think I'd think of Sean Cassidy. I kinda still do," Rachel said.

"I made that," Monica said, suddenly grabbing it out of Rachel's hand and looking at it, squinting at it closely.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I used to make friendship bracelets all the time...and I would put my initial on the back of it...'cause I wanted people to know that I made the bracelets. See...'M'," Monica pointed and Ross watched as both Rachel and Chandler leaned in close to look at the bracelet.

"Oh my G-d," Chandler said.

"You were at my house?" Rachel said.

"I was like ten and it was a bad year...and...Sophie...she was also a caterer in addition to a nanny for me and-" Chandler asked.

"Oh, I remember her. She was an amazing cook. She had a son she brought with her one year. He was cute," Monica said.

"It wasn't her son. It was me," Chandler said. "It was your party, Rachel. It was my first party with other kids. I had taken LSD the night before."

"You did what?" Rachel asked.

Ross watched the look on Rachel's face. She looked stunned.

"My mom's boyfriend gave it to me and I was so scared and Monica kept asking me questions and...she gave me this and said if I ever needed a friend, I should look at it," Chandler said.

"Do you want it back?" Rachel asked, looking at Monica.

"I-" Chandler said.

"You keep it Rach...now you can think of both of us," Monica said.

"I will...and Sean Cassidy," Rachel said.

"That party was fantastic...that whole year had sucked. I was sexually molested by one of my mom's boyfriend, the other gave me drugs and even later that night, I got in so much trouble for taking drugs...no had looked for me, when I took the LSD. I woke up under a tree in this crumpled up heap and Sophie took me to a party because she didn't want me watching movies all day. It was the first...wow," Chandler said.

"Chandler," Rachel said.

"It's alright," Chandler said, shaking his head.

"You were felt up by one of your mom's boyfriends?" Rachel asked.

"Well, more than felt up," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said.

"It is what it is," Chandler said.

"You wanna watch a movie, man?" Ross asked, grinning at him and getting up to set up the movie. He knew Chandler was drained and he knew Rachel's mind was probably whirling. It was time for a change of topic. He walked towards one of Chandler's many stacks and began glancing through them when Joey and Phoebe walked in.

"Hey guys...what are we watching?" Joey asked.

"Not sure. Chandler?" Ross asked, looking at him.

"_Star Wars, Animal House, the Hot Dog Movie, When Harry Met Sally, Die Hard, Spaceballs, Weekend at Bernies_ and _Monty Python,_" Chandler said, matter of factly.

"Sounds good to me," Ross said as he grabbed Star Wars from the pile and got it ready.

"I'm ordering pizza," Joey said, reaching for the phone as Phoebe walked towards the couch and sat next to Rachel.

"_Hot Dog Movie_? Are you okay, Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah, I am," Chandler said as Ross set up the movies and the group began watching. There was a different vibe to the group now and as they watched, Ross' thoughts turned to Lizzie again. What would Chandler say if he knew how deep his relationship with Lizzie had gotten? How pissed would Chandler be? It worried him. Maybe he should cool it with Lizzie. They weren't actually dating, they were just friends with benefits but it felt wrong now. It felt incredibly wrong.

He told Lizzie that Chandler had told his mom everything and Lizzie cried. He knew she still loved him and he knew Chandler loved her still. He felt torn. Just very torn. Maybe he should move on from Lizzie?

Then there was Carol. Carol was now very pregnant and as January turned to February and she reached her sixth month of pregnancy, the realities of impending fatherhood were weighing even more on him. He was great with Lauren but Lauren was not his. He tried to move on. On Valentine's Day, he tried. He had a date but by sheer coincidence, ended up spending the evening with Carol who was at the same restaurant with Susan. Watching Susan and Carol together was difficult, his heart broke again with every touch between the two women. He barely focused on his date. He could barely recall her name and by the end, he did not want to go home alone. He went to Lizzie's but she wasn't home so he headed over to Monica and Rachel's just as he saw some firefighters leaving the building. When he reached their floor, he learned that the girls had had a bonfire where they had burned stuff from former boyfriends. He noticed Rachel sitting alone on the balcony, looking deep in thought. He walked out onto the balcony wondering if she wanted company. She motioned for him to join her.

"So you tried to set fire to the apartment?" Ross asked.

"It was boyfriend bonfire. That wasn't my intent."

"I'm sorry about you and Paolo."

"No, you're not."

"No, you can do better."

"Who? I'm just….I was actually starting to like Paolo. Barry's with Mindy and I feel like...I'm going nowhere."

"Hey, you had your rebound. You're gonna be fine."

"Maybe. How was your Valentine's Day?"

"Sucked. I had a date and I barely spoke to her. Carol was there with Susan. I really...I loved Carol. She was first woman that I ever….well, I did like you in high school."

"I know. But-"

"I'm gonna be a father and I have no clue how to do that and then-"

"What about Lizzie? I haven't told Chandler anything but after what happened with his mom….he's gonna kill you."

"He will and I can't tell him and I don't even know what's going on with Lizzie. She wasn't even home tonight. This isn't what I expected in my life."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Remember in high school when you used to do those comic books and there was Two Face and Science Boy? Whatever happened to them?"

"What happened?"

"Yeah. I'm Two Face, right?"

"No."

"Please."

"I don't know. It hasn't ended yet."

"Oh."

Ross placed his arm around Rachel as she rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel his heart racing as he felt her let out a long, sad sigh. Lizzie. Carol. Rachel. Three women who meant so much to him, but Carol was in love with Susan, Lizzie thought them being together would complicate things and Rachel was a fantasy. It was a fantasy that he wasn't quite sure he wanted to make a reality.

A few days after Lauren's fifth birthday that May, he got the call that he knew would no doubt change the course of his life. It was real now, Carol was in labor. He stood with Susan as Carol was in labor. He hated Susan, still hated he but he had to give her credit that she was good at calming things down. When Ben was finally born, he couldn't help but cry as he held the tiny little boy in his arms.

"This kid is gonna be so screwed up," Ross said.

"No, the kid will be loved. Ross, we brought Ben into this world. We will make this work," Carol said.

"I think we can make it work. I mean, between the three of us," Susan said.

"Yeah. The three of us," Ross grumbled.

"You know, Ross." Susan said, sitting next to him, "I know we'll never be best friends but I-we can be friendly."

"I'd love that," Carol said.

"I'm not taking him home. That's always going to bother me. I'm not sorry about that," Ross said. While he was excited for fatherhood, holding Ben made another realization even more apparent. He would not be the primary guardian of Ben. He would be living with Susan and Carol the majority of the time and he would get Ben on some weekends. He would miss so much and it broke him. He didn't want to let Ben go. He didn't want to give Ben back to Carol because Ben would not be going with him.

He was surprised when Rachel offered to come with him when he went with Carol and Susan back to the women's apartment to bring Ben home. He didn't expect any of them to come but Rachel had said she would and for that he was thankful. It took every ounce of him to leave and Rachel held his hand the entire time. When they got outside the apartment, Rachel hugged him and he felt like crying again.

"How are you?" Rachel asked.

"Not great. When I imagined bringing my child home, I imagined being with my child. I'm not going to watch him grow up."

"Of course you are. It's just different."

"Yeah, I don't like it."

"I know….so you wanna know what Monica told me?"

"What?"

"Monica said that she and Chandler made a pact that if neither one of them are married by forty, they'll married each other."

"Of course," Ross said, smiling a little. "Thanks for coming with me."

"I thought I should. I mean, Mon wanted to come but I told her I would. You've always been there for me and I know it's hard but you will see Ben grow up. You'll be the dad, he'll know who you are."

"I'm….his first night home and I-I don't know….I'll be alone."

"You'll have Lizzie."

"I don't know if I'll have Liz. I don't know where that's going….I think I'm going to China."

"What?"

Ross let out a sigh. There was a dig being offered through the Natural History Museum in China. There was something to do with getting some bone for the museum and they were offering it to PhD students. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go but there was part of him that desperately wanted to get away and clear his head. It was only a week but maybe he needed a week away, a week to figure out this new part of his life and figure out his relationships. Where was he standing with Lizzie? Would anything happen with Rachel or should he let it go? Now, he was a father and he would not be a full time father. Maybe a break would be a good thing so a few weeks after Ben's birth, he decided to fly to China to dig and hopefully clear his head.


	27. Chapter 27

May 1995-October 1995

He flew to China. He was eating Chinese food or food. The joke Chandler had made before Ross had left. Carol seemed pissed that he had left. Lizzie wasn't pleased. It was a week, he was giving himself a week. He would clear his head and focus on his life. He would think about being a father, think about his relationship with Lizzie, with Rachel, with everyone. He kept thinking of his son. Ben.

"Ross?"

Ross looked up at the sound of his name. He had been so wrapped up in his noodles and thoughts that he hadn't even noticed someone walking up to his table. He recognized her though. Julie Tom was a PhD student as well, but he didn't know her very well. It was a small group of students on this trip and he really had not spoken to any of them.

"Hey, Julie….right?"

"Yeah. Can I sit?"

"Sure. I'm not doing anything, just eating Chinese food or as they call it here….food," Ross said.

"That's funny,"

"Thanks," Ross said, secretly thanking Chandler in his head. After all, it was Chandler's joke. Julie plopped down at the table and let out a sigh.

"I have spent the entire morning working on that research paper," Julie groaned.

"How far along are you?" Ross asked. This wasn't a vacation. Every day involved more data for more research papers. He too was spending his nights working on papers.

"Not far enough. I know this is supposed to a work-school trip but I was hoping we could see a little bit of China. I would like to be a tourist."

"Oh we can't do that," Ross joked. "Paper writing and crap…."

"And you know what really sucks?"

"What?"

"None of my friends understand grad school. I'm the only one of my friends in grad school and they keep inviting me to parties and I can't go-"

"I think my friends don't know I'm in school," Ross mused.

"Really?"

"I think they all assume I already have my PhD and I'm done," Ross said.

"We're almost done."

"I can't wait. Three more years. Then we'll be doctors."

"Not medical doctors," Julie said.

"I don't care. Still a doctor. I can perform surgery….on dinosaurs."

"Those bones won't know what hit 'em."

"'Cause all the dinosaurs have died."

"Awww."

"Hey, Julie….you wanna be a tourist with me? I have some time, do you?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. I wanna see the Great Wall."

"Then let's go."

Ross finished his meal and paid before leaving with Julie to go to the Great Wall. It was such a beautiful day, not too hot, that perfect kind of weather where the sky was bright, brilliant blue and they walked alongside the wall, talking. The conversation flowed so effortlessly, it felt easy. So just….simple.

"So, okay...you got married and divorced because your wife is a lesbian and that ex-wife had your child like a week and a half ago and you decided to go on a China trip you didn't really need to go on?" Julie asked.

"Yeah, I'm the worst person ever. I told my friends it was a work trip and I had to go, that's what I told Carol….and Lizzie-"

"Your secret friends-with-benefits relationship," Julie said.

"You've been listening."

"You've had a very eventful grad school experience."

"Am I the worst person? I needed a break. There's also a girl I have a crush on back home and I just….everything….I needed a break. I'm on a break."

"I get it. Believe me, I get it. You're not the only one who has had life experiences," Julie said as she stopped for a rest, leaning up against the wall before sliding down to the ground. Ross sat next to her.

"Like what?"

"Well, I grew up in Chicago. I am a middle child. I have an older sister, Lara and a younger sister, Maggie. We're super close. I went to Harvard-"

"Oh, is that all?" Ross asked.

Julie laughed and his heart skipped a little. He liked this woman, he liked connecting with someone. Someone who had no connection to anyone he knew. Someone who got his world, who understood that grad school was hard work.

"Yeah and now I'm in New York."

"No marriages, no divorces, no children that you've abandoned in another country," Ross joked.

"No," Julie said.

"You're boring."

"I'm not….I've had some moments. I'm a third generation Chinese American. I, one time, had a fake relationship with a guy who turned into my real boyfriend and my ex-best friend was his girlfriend and told everyone I had sex with him," Julie grinned.

"A fake boyfriend?"

"Yep, see...have you written a letter?"

"Of course," Ross said, confused.

"A letter to someone you loved, someone you went out with and you wanted to get your feelings out but you couldn't really tell them because you'd sound crazy so you write what you loved about them, what you missed, what bugged you…..you write to let go. Look, you have three women in your life right now-"

"Kinda. I'm not officially dating any of them."

"You don't have to be. If you wanna let go…."

Ross let that sink in as his glanced at her and thought of Rachel and Lizzie and Carol. He loved each of them for very different reasons. Throughout the rest of the walk, while getting to know Julie, he kept thinking about letting go and that night, in his room, he sat down with three pieces of paper in front of him and grabbed a pen. On each paper, he began to write. A letter to Rachel. A letter to Carol. A letter to Lizzie. He poured his heart into each one, telling them what he loved, what he wanted and at the end, he felt strangely free. He could not wait to tell Julie. He felt like he was walking through a fog and everything was so clear. A new beginning, that was what he needed. He needed to start over….with Julie.

On the plane back from China, he felt rejuvenated. Julie excited him, someone completely new who he could talk about science things with. This could be the most wonderful way to start over. When they arrived in New York, the first place they stopped off at was Monica's. It was too late to stop by Carol and Susan's but he knew his friends would be up and they were. Joey and Chandler were throwing rolled up socks into Monica's laundry basket, Monica and Phoebe were in deep conversation about something and Rachel was acting a little weird. He didn't really have time to think about all of it, he was starting over.

He also did need to work things out with Carol and the next day, he headed to Carol and Susan's. He knew Carol was pissed, but he'd explain it. He'd make things better.

"What?" Susan asked when she opened the door and glared at him.

"Let me in," Ross said.

"No."

"I would like to see my son," Ross said.

"You abandoned him. You left for China like a week after he was born."

"It was for school and work."

"You didn't have to go."

"He probably has no clue I was gone," Ross said.

"Well, Carol would have liked a week off. We had to be with Ben-" Susan said,

"He doesn't live with me. What would I have done in the last week?" Ross asked, getting angry.

"Let him in Susan," Carol said.

Susan let out an annoyed sigh and stepped out of the way. Carol was holding Ben in her arms. He walked in, Carol looked pissed.

"Can I hold him?" Ross asked.

"No," Susan said.

"Haven't you done enough?" Ross asked.

"Hey, you're digging your own grave, buddy. I'm just gonna stand back and watch," Susan said as she walked out of the room. Carol walked to the couch and sat down, Ross sat beside her.

"I'm sorry that I left and-"

"You didn't have to go to China, did you?"

"No. I'm sorry. I don't….this is all so strange. I'm not gonna be around to watch Ben grow up and I look at Lauren and she gets so sad that her dad isn't around and-"

"So you wanna be like that?"

"No, no but...can we have a custody arrangement?"

"Of course, Ross, I know this is not what you thought would happen. But you can't run to China if you get upset."

"Well, I had fun. I did work and wrote papers and….and I met someone?"

"Really?"

"Her name is Julie. She lives here and…..she goes to school with me and she's not a lesbian," Ross grinned.

"Well, that's a step. So does she know about your infatuation with Rachel and your friend-with-benefits, Lizzie?" Carol asked, smiling at him.

"I have no infatuation with Rachel and I'm sure Liz will be fine with just being friends."

"And are you fine?" Carol asked.

"I will be," Ross said as Carol gently handed Ben to him. He loved looking at his son, Ben still was his. He would make himself be part of his life. There would have to be an arrangement, there would have to be something. "Has Lauren met her future husband yet?"

Carol laughed, "no….and besides Lauren is too old for him."

"They're not getting married now."

"I know, but-"

"I want them to meet. Let's have them meet."

"I don't wanna take Ben out of the house yet. He's still too little and-"

"Then invite them. Come on, please…." Ross said.

"She's pissed at you too."

"I know."

Carol reached for the phone and dialed. He listened to Carol's side of the conversation and he could tell Lizzie was reluctant so he reached for the phone. Carol handed it to him and took Ben away, he was starting to get a little fussy.

"Come over to Carol and Susan's. I want Lauren to meet her future husband," Ross said.

"What did you do in China?"

"School….work...I ate Chinese food but there they just call it food."

"That sounds like a Chandler joke."

"How would you know, you haven't talked to him in years," Ross said.

"I still recognize his jokes."

"Hmmm….I also met someone."

"Really?"

"Her name is Julie….she lives here. I just...but-I'm sorry, Lizzie."

"It's alright," Lizzie said although he could detect a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I'm still coming with you to take Lauren to kindergarten in September. I promised."

"Thank you."

"Now, can you bring Lauren, her husband is getting fussy."

Lizzie let out a laugh and hung up but not before assuring him that she was on her way. He sat on Carol and Susan's couch and looked around. He felt strangely happy. strangely at peace. He could finally start over.

About an hour later, Lizzie and Lauren arrived. Lauren immediately ran to Ross and he picked her up as Carol brought Ben out. Lauren looked at the tiny infant, peering into his face as she grinned. It was all so sweet, so innocent and all so new.

He and Julie spent all summer together. He introduced her to Lizzie and was thrilled they got along. Julie even promised to set Lizzie up and as promised, he did get to see Ben. He got Ben every other weekend. He loved how smooth everything felt and that September, he filled another promise. He stood with Lizzie as he walked with Lauren towards her first day in kindergarten.

"Mommy, don't cry," Lauren said.

Lizzie kept alternating between taking pictures and wiping away tears. Ross thought it was quite sweet and it made him once again think of Ben. Ben's first day of kindergarten was years away, but he hoped Carol and Susan would let him join them when the day came.

"I can't help it. Okay, sweetie, listen to your teacher and be nice to your friends, share and-"

"She's got this," Ross said, leaning down so he was eye level to Lauren.

"You ready kid?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna learn to read and I'm gonna learn my numbers and I'm gonna be a doctor and a lawyer and a singer and an actress and Princess Jasmine," Lauren said.

"Well, there you go," Ross said as Lauren hugged him. They walked her to the door and Lauren turned, gave both Ross and Lizzie a hug and ran inside the classroom to join two other little girls. Ross could hear the three little girls discussing what kinds of backpacks they had.

"Those are her best friends, Rebecca and Haley." Lizzie said as she stepped back.

"Cute," Ross said as the two began to walk away from the school.

"What am I going to do? Now I have this huge chunk of the day open," Lizzie said.

"I thought you wanted to be an actress," Ross mused.

"What?"

"Lauren listed a lot of things she wanted to be when she grew up. Actress was on that list. I thought you wanted to be an actress. What happened to that?"

"I had a child."

"Who is now in school."

"Ross, come on….besides I just started a new job."

"Yeah, at Pub 2...another bar, which by the way, is near Chandler's work so it's just a matter of time before you see him."

"I didn't take the job because of that….I didn't know that. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Look, she's now in school so from eight am to two pm, you have time to do whatever you want. Audition for something."

"I don't know."

"It wouldn't hurt to audition."

"Yeah. Thanks for coming today and I like Julie."

"Thanks. I like her too. I'm sorry about us."

"It had to end at some point, it's okay."

Ross smiled at Lizzie as the two kept walking. He knew she was still upset so he tried to comfort her.

"Chandler works near Pub 2?" Lizzie asked as he was trying to figure out what to say.

"Yeah. Did you know that?"

"I really didn't. Is he single?"

"Wait do you wanna move on from me to him?" Ross asked, teasing her a little.

"No, no….I….I miss him. I do. If he did walk in….has he changed?"

"Hmmm, well with his roommate, I actually think he regressed in age."

"Oh. Well, if he came into Pub 2, it wouldn't be the worst thing."

Ross thought about that, how cool that would be if Chandler and Lizzie got back together. Sure, a lot of things would need to be revealed if that would happen but it would be kinda nice.

"He is single. That thing with Janice ended….I think"

"You think? Didn't you tell me once he was about to get married to her?"

"I don't remember saying that."

"You did."

"They're not. But...you know if you and Chandler got back together…..I'd like it. It would be fun to have you hang out with us again."

"Really?"

"Of course….."

"Oh my G-d."

"What?"

"It's been five years. I have free time."

"You do."

"Maybe I will take an acting class and maybe go on an audition. I should. I have like five, six hours….I'm going to look up open casting calls and go and I have these friends, Kate and Kathy….they're actresses and they're good. I've worked with both of them at the last restaurant I worked at. I'm gonna ask if they can hook me up. I have to see if I can land an agent."

"You know, I have a friend...he's represented by this woman...Estelle…" Ross said.

"I've heard of her. You know what, you're right….I'm gonna try. I'm twenty six years old and...I'm gonna do this."

"You should."

"Thanks Ross."

"That's what I'm here for."

Lizzie grinned as the two continued down the street. Of course, that happiness was short lived as Lizzie dissolved into a puddle again when she thought about Lauren in kindergarten. He had to laugh as she began lamenting about her child growing older and it was moments like that where he thought of fatherhood again. Lauren's father had missed his child's first day of school and he refused to miss any milestones in Ben's life.

Monica, Ross, Joey, Rachel and Phoebe were in sitting in their usual spots on that orange couch in Central Perk. It was October now and they were discussing Ross' 26th birthday in a few weeks but they had gotten off topic complaining about Chandler. After the death of Monica, Rachel, Joey and Chandler's crazy downstairs neighbor, Chandler went into a weird spiral where he was convinced he was going to die alone and even called Janice which didn't end well. Monica had yelled at him, there was a fight and Chandler stormed off.

"I get so annoyed," Monica said.

"Mon got mad," Phoebe grinned.

"He deserved it. The man is twenty six going on twelve and Joey, I blame you," Monica said.

"Why do you blame me?" Joey asked.

"You encourage him," Monica said.

"I did not tell him to call Janice," Joey said.

"Guys, do you think Bert and Ernie are gay?" Phoebe asked which caused looks from the group.

"Where did that come from?" Ross asked.

"We were talking about Chandler and Joey. So obviously that made me think of Bert and Ernie," Phoebe said.

"Oh, you are so right," Rachel said.

"We are not gay puppets," Joey said, which was then disputed by the rest of the group. It was Ross, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe versus Joey on this topic until Chandler soon joined them. Ross watched as Chandler stumbled towards a seat near Monica and noticed as the two leaned in and whispered to each other. He was curious as to what they were talking about and wanted to ask until he was interrupted by Rachel.

"Chandler and Joey," Rachel yelled.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Rachel thinks you and Joey are like Bert and Ernie," Monica said.

"Hey, Rach...when are you running off that cliff?" Chandler asked.

"No, no...I'm totally right," Rachel said.

"You are not right," Joey said.

"I am right. You two are so Bert and Ernie," Rachel said.

"Alright, we only bathed together that one time...it meant nothing," Chandler joked.

"Dude, not helping," Joey said, deadpanned.

Chandler laughed as he looked over Ross, "guess who I saw at Pub 2?"

"Who?" Ross asked.

"Lizzie," Chandler said.

His heart dropped. He hoped that she didn't say anything about him. He didn't think she would but….

"Really?" Ross asked.

"The 'oh, crap' girl," Joey said.

"Yeah, she has a kid. She has a five year old," Chandler said.

"I bet it's yours," Joey said.

"It is not. I asked. But I went into Pub 2 and I had six beers-"

"Six beers?" Monica asked, "We saw you three hours ago. Yeah, what drinking problem?"

"Yeah, what drinking problem? Anyway, she kept giving me beer," Chandler said.

"She wanted a tip," Rachel said.

"Here's a tip, don't drink six beers in three hours," Monica said.

"Mon," Ross said, knowing his sister was being judgey. He knew how deeply and how strongly she cared but he knew she shouldn't push.

"I'm fine...anyway, I saw Liz," Chandler said. "She looked good, tired."

"Maybe you could ask her out," Ross said.

"No, she has a kid. I can't date someone with a kid and….she's still hot," Chandler said.

"Did she mention me?" Ross asked, although quickly regretted it. Chandler looked at him strangely and Rachel shot him a look.

"Why would she mention you?" Chandler asked.

"Well, weren't you all like best friends in college? It's a fair question," Rachel said.

Ross let out a sigh, "yeah, just wanna know how my old friend is."

"Yeah, no, she didn't mention you. She talked about her kid. Really cute," Chandler said although kept giving Ross strange looks. He began to feel guilty as he looked over at Rachel who was biting her bottom lip and looking at him. Chandler and Lizzie had met….again.

That night, it was a double date with Julie, Ross, Lizzie and Jonathan, Ross' high school friend. The dinner was at Lizzie's apartment and Lauren was sitting at a nearby coffee table, practicing writing her name and her letters while the grownups ate and drank wine.

"Monica/s pissed, you gave him six glasses of beer," Ross said.

"He said he only had six?" Lizzie asked.

"How many did he have?" Ross asked.

"Ten," Lizzie said.

"Why did you keep serving him?" Julie asked.

"'Cause he's over twenty one and not my child," Lizzie said.

"Hope you got a great tip," Jonathan said.

"Oh, I got an amazing tip but it also made me go, I'm not dating him. I had a moment of weakness where I missed him but he's still a raging alcoholic in denial," Lizzie said.

"Sounds sexy," Jonathan said.

"I know, right," Lizzie said.

"Well, they're coming over later this week for dinner at Ross' place. I'll keep an eye on him," Julie said.

"No, Monica will. Believe me," Ross said.

"Wait, you're having a dinner party?" Jonathan asked.

"You guys are more than welcome to come. Actually, Liz, I'd love it if you came. I mean, I love Monica and Phoebe and Rachel, even though I don't think Rachel likes me….and they're kinda cliquish," Julie said.

"And I refuse to go….especially now and also don't worry about Rachel. She hates most people," Lizzie said.

"Last time you saw her, you said she was nice," Ross said.

"Because she was waiting on me," Lizzie whined.

"And she knows about us and has said nothing," Ross said.

"Fine," Lizzie said. "And Julie, you can't tell Chandler that Ross and I keep in touch either."

"I won't," Julie said.

Their dinner continued Lizzie complaining about Chandler. When Julie and Ross left that night, he felt closer to Julie. He loved how easily she fit in. Ever since Julie arrived, she seemed to get along with every single one of his friends and Monica, but Rachel was a different story.

"Do you really think Rachel hates you?" Ross asked.

"I don't know about hate but she doesn't seem fond of me and when I was in Central Perk the other day, Monica, Phoebe and Rachel were gossiping and talking and I felt left out. I wish Lizzie would come to dinner. Separately though, they're fine. Monica and I have gone shopping and Phoebe's lived the most unbelievable life but then Rachel comes and they get really quiet."

"I'll talk to them and it'll be better when they all come over. Chandler and Joey will make everything lighter and Monica will be sticking with Chandler and we will have a good time."

"Promise?"

"Of course. They love you," Ross said.

Ross gave Julie a kiss as they made their way back to his apartment. It had been five months since he had met Julie and those five months had been amazing, wonderful. He was loving being a father and starting this new relationship but there was something that was bothering him. Rachel.

Ever since he and Julie had gotten together, Rachel had started acting bizarre. She had had a hook up with Paolo and her strangeness came to a head that night at the dinner. After the dinner, he had planned something special, intimate for himself and Julie. They had not slept together yet and he had asked for advice from both Rachel and Joey. Joey told him to suck it up and do, which was advice he liked. Rachel kept trying to prolong it. She kept asking Julie questions that were pointless and he knew she didn't care about. When Rachel asked what went in a Cobb salad, Chandler, Monica and Joey called an end to the evening. Monica saying something about wanting to check in with Phoebe. As they walked out, Ross caught up with Rachel right outside his apartment. He waited until the other three disappeared down the hall and turned to look at his friend.

"Hey, Rach...you okay?" Ross asked, looking rather concerned.

"Yeah, what do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird lately."

"I'm fine. You gonna have fun with Julie?"

"Yeah. I like her, Rachel. I really do. I mean, I've spent so long being miserable and after Carol, I never thought I'd be happy like that again."

"I'm happy for you. No, I'm fine...I'm just lonely. It's been awhile since I've had a boyfriend. It's actually the longest I've ever been single," Rachel said.

"I'm sure that spell will end soon."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause it's you. Who wouldn't want wanna date you?" Ross asked although wondering if he was crossing a line. He wanted to kiss her at that moment. He could feel a heat between them and it took all his strength to keep from pouncing on her.

"Chandler," Rachel said.

"Well, yeah...but he wants to date Monica."

"Very true. Well, I'll let you get back to Julie."

"Yeah and hey, I forgot to say happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary?"

"You've survived an entire year on your own. You're still happily living with Monica-"

"She let me buy pillows for the couch," Rachel grinned.

"That's huge."

"I know and she even said she liked them."

"Whoa and you're working."

"I am."

"Congrats."

"Thanks," Rachel smiled as the two shared a hug and Ross walked back into the apartment to see Julie standing by the sinking, putting dishes into the dishwasher. He walked up behind her and gently put his arms around her. She turned and he kissed her.

"So, you wanna know what's in a Cobb Salad?" Julie asked.

"No," Ross said.

"What was up with Rachel?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Ross said, still kissing her. She gave in and kissed him back as he lifted her up and carried her into his bedroom. He had not been with anyone since Carol and this felt new and spectacular. It cemented them as a couple.

The next day, he walked into Central Perk and could not stopped grinning. Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on the couch and he sat by them in the big chair.

"You gonna ask how my night was?" Ross asked.

"Judging by your smile, good," Rachel said.

"Fantastic. Two times," Ross said.

"Well, that's….fine….okay, I'm gonna get to work and Phoebe, I will get you coffee and lots of cake," Rachel said.

"Thank you, I really wanna eat my feelings today," Phoebe said.

"Oh, you will," Rachel said, walking off. Ross looked curiously at Phoebe and noticed something off. Phoebe's eyes were puffed up and he wondered if he had ever seen her cry because she looked like she had been sobbing. He got up and sat next to her.

"You alright Pheebs?"

"No, not really."

"I missed you and Duncan last night," Ross said.

"Duncan divorced me. It was a green card marriage and he said he was gay but he's not and he's divorcing me for this woman whom I don't know but she sucks and….I just…." Phoebe started to cry and Ross placed his arm around her. It felt weird to see her cry and it angered him. Phoebe was the strongest person he knew and her crying broke him a little. She needed to be positive and upbeat, he needed to be Pheebs.

"Welcome to the club," Ross said.

"What?" Phoebe asked, looking at him.

"Welcome to the Divorced People's Club. I'll send you a shirt."

"I don't wanna be in your dumb club."

"But you are….my ex-wife is a lesbian and your ex-husband….pretended to be gay," Ross said looking at Phoebe and he knew she was trying not to laugh but she let out a snort and shook her head.

"Our club is stupid," Phoebe said.

"It's not stupid."

"You're stupid," Phoebe grumbled.

"Fair enough. Duncan's an asshole."

"But he was my asshole and he got it, Ross. He knew the crazy. He was there when I slept on benches and he-he knew-"

"You will meet someone better and your story isn't crazy, it's pretty incredible."

"I guess….and congratulations on having sex a lot last night. I'm glad someone did."

"Thank you, Pheebs."

"And I do like Julie. I think she's good for you."

"I like her too. You'll be okay."

"I know…..so you really think we can get shirts?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, yeah….and hats," Ross said.

"Oooo," Phoebe said as she smiled and let out a long, pained sigh. Ross put his arm around her as Rachel brought cake and coffee. He listened as Phoebe talked more about Duncan, but as Phoebe talked his gaze soon fixated on Rachel. When he mentioned Julie, Rachel would have to go work or do something and there was something he could not wrap his mind around. He got the sneaking feeling that his friend was hiding something and he wanted nothing more than to find out.


	28. Chapter 28

To the person upset that I keep mentioning Chandler, I can't really apologize for this. He's my male favorite character and as I try to fit all the True Stories together, there may be mentions of him in conversations because he was mentioned in that conversation in another story. He's mentioned here too, so...

After I complete Joey's story, I may go back and rework them to make them fit better.

Please everyone read and review...

October 1995-November 1995

It had been his second twenty sixth birthday celebration. It was something he had gotten used to in his adult years, a birthday with Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe followed by another party with Jonathan, Sam, Lizzie, Carol, Susan, Ben and Lauren. Julie was not used to it, of course, and she found it slightly strange.

"I mean, it's just weird," Julie said.

"I know but look, it's complicated and what's wrong with having two parties," Ross said as he grabbed her hand and kissed her. They were walking down the street, walking off their dinner at Lizzie's.

"It's like you have divorced friends," Julie mused. "I did love watching Lauren play with Ben. She's so gentle with him."

"Carol's convinced that they're going to be married one day," Ross said.

"I like Carol."

"Don't like her too much," Ross said, giving her a grin.

"Shush. Hey, at least I didn't have to deal with Rachel."

"She likes you."

"No, she doesn't. I have tried everything to be friends with that girl. I even had a conversation with her about my feelings."

"And?" Ross asked, wondering why he didn't know that.

"She doesn't like me. I think she likes you."

"Did she say that?"

"She kinda said she doesn't like me."

"Did she say she liked me?"

"Of course she likes you," Julie said. "Ross….do you like her?"

That question made him uncomfortable, "she's a friend," he replied. He hoped that would put an end to the conversation.

"I know but...would you want it to be more?"

"No. No, I'm with you. Look, if something was going to happen with Rachel it would have happened. It doesn't really matter. I'm with you."

"Okay."

"We're good, I swear."

Julie nodded as Ross pulled her closer to him. They had been dating for five months and he was definitely falling for her. He loved that she was interested in science, loved that they could study and write papers together. His friends thought he was already done with school. They were always stunned when he mentioned research papers or exams.

"So are we taking Lauren trick-or-treating this year?" Julie asked.

"Of course. I promised her. It's one of my most favorite things to do. I can't wait until Ben is old enough to go trick or treating."

"She's gonna be a very pretty Belle," Julie mused.

"She wants me to be the Beast," Ross said, grinning. Lizzie wanted him to be the Beast as well. Lizzie decided she would be the teacup and Julie would be the candlesticks. He loved Halloween with Lauren and Lizzie. It truly was one of his favorite parts of the year. He did sometimes wish he could share with his other friends but he knew at this point, he had gone too far. Telling the others about Lizzie and Lauren would open up a can of worms he wasn't quite ready to open up.

His twenty sixth birthday celebrations had one snag. Monica. His sister was fired from her job. He knew this would rock her and took her out for brunch a few days later to cheer up. He felt awful for her as she cried over her mimosa and French toast.

"I can't tell our parents."

"I wouldn't do that." Ross said.

"What am I gonna do?"

"Well, I heard your rent is paid for?" Ross said, giving her a grin. Rachel had mentioned that to him, that Chandler had offered to pay some of their rent in addition to his and Joey's.

"Yeah. You heard that?"

"Yep. Rachel told me. Why don't you wanna date him?"

"Well, then that would make me a whore."

"How?"

"I'll sleep with him and then he'll pay my rent? No. I will never date him. You all need to stop this nonsense," Monica said.

"All?"

"Phoebe and Rachel keep threatening to sing a song at my wedding to Chandler which will never happen."

"That sounds amazing."

"Shut up."

"Well, if you get tired of mooching off Chandler, I'll help you out with the bills."

"How, you're still in grad school?"

"Wait, you still know I'm in grad school?" Ross asked, he was always slightly stunned for some reason when Monica or any of them remembered that.

"Yes, I do. Of course. That's a weird thing to say."

"No, no, you guys act like I'm already a doctor."

"No, we don't," Monica said, shaking her head.

"You so do."

Ross grinned at her as he cut into his French toast and took a bite. Monica let out a sigh. She gave a weak smile and sniffled a little.

"Well, you don't talk a lot about school."

"'Cause it's depressing."

"Almost as depressing as much as being fired."

"You'll find something else. I swear. You're an amazing chef. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I mean, barring that you don't burn it again."

"You're the worst person. Ever."

"I will help with the bills. Okay," Ross said.

"Thank you. So how was your birthday? Did you do anything with Julie and your other friends? Was Lizzie there?" Monica asked, grinning at him.

Ross nearly choked on his French toast at the sound of Lizzie's name. How in the world did she know that he was still hanging out with her? How long did she know? As he was trying to land on what question to ask, Monica seemed to be able to read his mind.

"Funny how sometimes you don't talk to a friend for years and then they come back and you pick up right where you left off, as if no time has passed at all."

"Fuck, Rachel," Ross muttered, "you don't even have a walk in pantry."

"No, but we can afford a box of Twinkies and now….we sometimes pair it with wine. Hey, I've known for a year and have told no one. So, rest assured your secret is safe but how long-"

"A long time. We were still friends after she and Chandler broke up and...and now we...well, sometimes we're friends with benefits. We haven't had that benefit in a long time, but still."

"Gross."

Ross let out a laugh, "just don't say anything."

"Haven't yet."

"I'm taking Lauren trick-or-treating. I even went with her to her first day of kindergarten. She's sweet. Lizzie and Carol really want Ben and Lauren to get married one day."

"Awww, that would be sweet but why doesn't she wanna hang out with us? Why does it have to be secret?" Monica asked. "Lauren isn't Chandler's, right?"

"No. She said no. I have no clue who the dad is, Lizzie won't say and I guess she doesn't wanna deal with Chander. She figured you could deal with him."

"I'm not dealing with him, you know what, shut up asswipe."

Ross couldn't help but laugh. Maybe it was wrong of him, maybe he should have been more sensitive to his sister's situation, but he just couldn't do it. He was having too much fun.

"Hey, here's a Rachel question….do you know why she hates Julie?" Ross asked.

"She doesn't hate Julie."

"Please."

"I cannot reveal anything Rachel, Phoebe and or I have discussed."

"But you've told Rachel and or Phoebe things we've discussed and Rachel has told you things that she and I have discussed."

"It's different."

"How?"

"They're family," Monica said.

"What are we?" Ross asked.

"Up for debate, quite honestly….I'm still convinced you're adopted."

"Oh, that's you. Mom always loved me best."

"Sadly true. By the way, you're paying for breakfast, right?"

"Of course."

They continued to eat and talk about Monica's financial situation and when Monica tired of that, she began asking more questions about Lizzie. He felt weird knowing that now both Monica and Rachel knew about this friendship but Chandler did not. He wondered how long that would last considering how much Monica and Rachel generally told Chandler. Hopefully, it would last awhile.

It was quickly becoming one of his favorite things to do. He would take Lauren trick-or-treating with Lizzie. Julie was joining them this time as was Jonathan. They would end up at Carol and Susan's to say hi to Ben. Carol and Susan promised more candy to Lauren. He loved walking with the little girl, holding her hand as she walked up to each house and with grin yelled, "trick-or-treat" before being handed candy.

"Ooo, Snickers," Ross said as they walked away from another house where she scored several mini chocolate bars.

"You can't have any," Lauren whined, dressed her Belle costume. She reached up to adjust her brown wig which was falling a little.

"You know, Bell shared," Ross said. He was dressed in his Beast costume which was quite stuffy but he didn't care.

"No she didn't."

"Yeah, she did."

"She didn't share her chocolate."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm super smart. That's what my teacher says."

"You are, but I still want a Snickers."

"No," Lauren said.

"You know, you are a very bossy Belle," Ross mused.

"'Cause in the story, Belle tells the Beast what to do 'cause Belle is the boss of the Beast and is the one in charge even though the Beast thinks he's in charge, he's not because Belle is. Right, mommy?" Lauren stated as they reached Lizzie, Jonathan and Julie who were standing at the end of the driveway, chatting. Ross cocked his head to the side and looked at Lizzie.

"I'm not sure that's how the story goes," Ross said.

"It does when Beauty and the Beast is about a girl who thinks she can change an angry guy into a handsome prince, I gotta give her the strong female version," Lizzie stated.

"I'm all for that," Julie said.

"But-"

"Just go with it and don't argue," Julie said, cutting him off.

"Okay," Ross said.

"Okay, come on, Ross. I wanna go over there to that house. Let's go," Lauren demanded.

"Can you give me some of your candy?" Ross asked.

"No, stop asking," Lauren said, grabbing his giant pawed hand and pulling him off. Ross looked back towards Lizzie.

"She's a bossy, bossy Belle," Ross said.

"No, only when it comes to tall hairy men trying to steal her candy," Lizzie said.

"Wait, are we talking about my costume or what I look like normally?" Ross asked.

"A little bit of both," Lizzie said.

"I have always found you to be ridiculously hairy. I'm still not buying that you're wearing a costume," Jonathan grinned.

Ross glared at him and grabbed a Butterfinger from Lauren's candy bag and threw it at his head.

"Don't throw candy, that's not nice. Mommy, Ross threw candy," Lauren said.

"It's okay, Lauren. Jonathan is trying to kill the Beast," Ross said.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"Don't give my child nightmares, please," Lizzie said.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you invited us," Jonathan said.

"Seriously," Ross said.

"Ross," Lauren yelled.

Lauren kept pulling Ross' hand and he followed, going with her to house after house until her bag was getting too full and soon they ended up at Susan and Carol's. Lauren was sitting with a pile of candy on the coffee table and the grown ups sitting around her. Ross had taken the head part of his Beast costume off, although he was still sweating inside. He kept trying to reach for candy from the coffee table, only to have Lauren gently move his hand away.

"I don't share candy, okay," Lauren said.

"I don't think you should share candy," Jonathan said.

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"What if I can't get candy," Ross said.

"Don't you have a job?" Lauren asked.

"It's does pay me enough to buy candy," Ross said.

"That's sad," Lauren said.

"Sweetie, why don't you pick two pieces of candy that you can eat right now and then-" Lizzie said.

"Oh, we have Beauty and Beast. You can watch it in our room," Susan said.

"Okay," Lauren said, "but keep Ross away from my candy."

"I will," Lizzie said as Lauren grabbed a Butterfinger and a Snickers from her pile. Lizzie grabbed her hand and she, Susan and Lauren disappeared down the hall.

"Did you like trick or treating?" Carol asked.

"Always. I love watching her grow up. She's like a little person now. I can't wait until we can take Ben trick or treating. Can I take him? I take him and Lauren," Ross said.

"Sure, although by the time he's old enough to go, Lauren might be at age where she feels like she's too old to go," Carol said.

"Never," Ross said as he reached over and grabbed a mini Hershey bar off the table and unwrapped it.

"Oh, Lauren's gonna kill you," Jonathan said.

"She's not gonna remember," Ross said.

"I'm gonna tell her," Jonathan said.

Ross laughed as he took a big bite of the tiny chocolate bar. Soon Susan and Lizzie returned and all the adults were snacking on Halloween candy and chatting. He truly did enjoy these moments and before leaving, he wandered into Ben's room to say goodnight. Ben was now five months old, he was still sleeping. Ross always found the moments of being with Ben bittersweet because they were always so fleeting.

That night, Julie and Ross lay side by side in his bed with Ross reliving the moments of the night. Julie was quiet as Ross kept talking. He was reminiscing about past Halloweens and wondering what next year's Halloween costume would be.

"Well, you are amazing with Lauren," Julie finally said.

"She's a great kid and it kills me you know, Ben, Lauren...I know Lauren isn't my child but….I wish….it's all so temporary. I want a family that's intact. I want to have a kid that i see full time, not just every once in awhile."

"You want kids?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"Of course but I mean, not until we're at least done with school."

"That's in three years. I can wait three years. If it's with you. I mean I know we've only been dating for five months but Julie-"

"I love that," Julie said. "In three years."

"So in 1998, when we've graduated….I will propose and-"

"I will say yes. Oh, G-d. Are we crazy to talk about this?" Julie asked.

"No. Look, when you know you know."

"Yeah."

"We should get a cat," Ross said, rather suddenly.

"What?"

"Well, we should prepare for three years from now and I don't think either one of us have time to take care of a dog but if we practice with a cat then in three years, we'll be ready to-"

"Get married?"

"Yeah. Well, maybe you can move in before then. Look, I know it's crazy but after Carol and I divorced….I….I love you, Julie.

"I love you too," Julie said as they leaned in to share a kiss.

It had been a wild five months and maybe it was too fast for some, but for him, it was perfect. Being with someone fit him perfectly. He hated being alone, he loved being that intimate with someone. Julie was his perfect fit and why wait? Why not just act?

"You really are a crazy person," Chandler said.

Ross was telling Joey and Chandler his plan over pizza. It was now the beginning of November and while he knew Joey and Chandler were probably the worst people to tell, he couldn't help it.

"Yeah, dude, why the rush? Is she's pregnant?" Joey asked, "'cause really that's why you get married."

"That's not why you get married," Ross said.

"Yeah, Joe. In Ross' case, you also get married if she's a lesbian," Chandler said.

"I'm not marrying her, at least not now. By the way, Chandler….are you supposed to be eating pizza? I thought Monica had you on a diet."

"Bite me," Chandler said.

"Seriously, man….why the rush? If she's not pregnant then….what?" Joey asked.

"I like her. Why did I think you assholes would understand," Ross said.

"Yeah, why would you tell us?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, 'cause really….that's dumb," Chandler said.

"What about Rachel?" Joey asked.

"What about her? Look, it's not gonna happen with Rachel. If something were to happen, it would have….it's not going to," Ross said. "I want something to happen with Julie. She's it for me."

It was settled. Ross and Julie would get a cat. It would live some of the time with Ross, some of the time with Julie. Maybe by next summer, they could move in together. He imagined proposing, getting married again. He could see himself spending the rest of his life with Julie. It thrilled him that he had found love again. This was it. Maybe it wasn't quite the way he had planned it. He had planned it to be with Carol but this could be even better. He had finally moved on.

Until he hadn't.

He had gone to Monica and Rachel's to check in with Monica and Rachel was curled up on the couch, painfully hungover. She had a horrible date, apparently and Ross wanted to hear all about it. Rachel was just annoyed as she shuffled into her room to get some water and some aspirin from her nightstand. He took that moment to check his messages because he had been at Julie's all night and that's when he heard Rachel's message. Rachel was over him. She got closure. She was with Michael. He wasn't sure who Michael was but he could hear Rachel's slurring voice and felt Rachel jumping on him.

"Oh, no, no….noooooo," Rachel groaned.

"You're over me? When were you under me?" Ross asked as Rachel slid off his back. He wasn't sure what he should say.

"No, no...Ross….I...it's wine, it was wine's fault."

"You have feelings for me?" Ross asked.

"You had feelings for me first," Rachel said.

"How did you know?"

"Chandler told me."

"Chandler. Damn him."

"Ross."

"No, I have to go. I-I have to-I have a cat….with Julie. We're getting a cat."

"I know. But we should...talk."

"I...I can't...no...not now."

"Ross."

"Cat."

Ross look flustered as he walked towards the door and kept looking back at her. He kept walking down the stairs in a complete daze. Rachel Green had feelings for him? Chandler had told her? He looked back at the last five, six months, Julie telling him that Rachel hated him. Rachel had been acting strange lately and soon everything clicked. His mind felt clouded. Rachel Green? It would be amazing. He had always loved Rachel. He had always wanted more from their relationship even when she wasn't there. She was Two Face. Two Face and Science Boy. He needed someone to talk to, but he wasn't sure who. He called Jonathan and Sam. He certainly couldn't talk to Chandler and Joey. Jonathan and Sam met up with him at a Mexican restaurant, which was one of Rachel's favorites. He found that a little odd.

"So Two Face loves you?" Jonathan asked.

"I don't know," Ross said. "I don't-"

"Dude, you've loved her forever," Jonathan said.

"You had a shrine in your dorm room," Sam said

"I had one picture and she was hot. But...I don't know. I'm with Julie. We're supposed to get a cat and….I want a cat and….I mean, I do like Rachel and she's been through so much in the past year and she's….she's working and-and-she's so much nicer than she was in high school and-I don't think she's leaving and-I love Julie and that's real and it's right and….I did imagine-of course-thought about what it would be like but that-I stopped that when it seemed obvious it wouldn't happen and what if it's-"

"What if it's not like the fantasy?" Jonathan asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Well, think about it, you've loved this girl from afar forever. You have this whole fantasy. It's like dating Wonder Woman. It sounds incredible but realistically, I bet dating Wonder Woman would be tough," Jonathan said.

"True, she's always out of town, she's fighting crime and….although, I bet hooking up with Wonder Woman would be frickin' awesome," Sam said.

"Oh definitely. That would be wild," Jonathan said.

"Okay, are we talking about Rachel or your weird sex fantasies," Ross said.

"Oh, like you haven't thought about it," Jonathan said.

"No, duh, mine is with Princess Leia and the gold bikini," Ross said.

"Who would look better as Princess Leia? Rachel or Julie?" Sam asked.

"Hmmm," Ross said, imagining it in his head before landing on the fact that they'd both look pretty damn good. He shook his head, "you know what, Rachel was wasted last night. She had a bad date and maybe she just….I don't know."

He truly didn't. He kept going back and forth over what happened. His mind kept whirling and when he met up with Julie later, he couldn't even pick out a cat. He was distracted and needed to talk to Rachel. She was at Central Perk, she was working. After the disastrous cat trip, he told Julie he needed to head home but instead he headed to the coffee house. He saw her closing up. She was alone, wiping the counters as he opened the door and closed it. She seemed lost in her thoughts.

"We didn't get a cat."

Ross noticed as Rachel gasped and turned around. He had startled her. He kept standing there, staring at her.

"That's interesting," Rachel said.

"No, it's not. It's uninteresting. It's the exact opposite of interesting. You had no right to say that you have feelings for me," Ross said.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked.

"You had no right. I am happy now….with Julie," Ross said and standing there, he was angry. That was the emotion he was feeling although he wasn't quite sure why he was angry. He was angry at Rachel for having feelings, Chandler for telling Rachel, angry that things were now complicated.

"Okay….fine and what do you mean I had no right? You have had a crush on me for how long? You should have told me."

"There was never a moment."

"Bullshit Ross, we have had nothing but moments. I've known you for nineteen years. You had nineteen years to tell me."

"I didn't like you when I was seven. I liked you when I was in ninth grade. It's been less than nineteen years," Ross said although he wasn't sure that mattered.

"Do you have a point?" Rachel asked.

"My point is that I am with Julie and that is it."

"So your feelings for me have just vanished? Or are you just going to ignore them?"

"I've gotten real good at ignoring them."

"You know what, this isn't my fault Ross. So stop yelling at me. I like you. I do and I hate Julie. I hate seeing you with her. I hate watching you kiss her and I hate-"

"So now you know how I felt. How I felt throughout high school listening to you complain about that dumbass, Chip or when you chose Barry over your friendship with me and Monica….or Paolo. What the hell did you see in him?"

"That is none of your business and you have no right to comment on any guy I've dated and you know what, yeah, maybe Chip and Barry and Paolo weren't the greatest guys for me but at least they did something. They didn't just act like cowards and pine from afar like some sort of pathetic loser. Grow a pair, Ross."

"I'm gonna go."

"Fine, go."

"I will," Ross said as he stormed out of Central Perk, leaving Rachel in the dark. He stood in the rain, not sure where to go next. He had never really fought with Rachel, never yelled. He needed to go back in there. He needed to make a move. She was right. Chip, Barry, Paolo, they had all made moves. He had never done that. He had never just seized that moment when it came to Rachel. He turned and saw her, crying on the couch. He had made her cry. He never wanted to make her cry. He watched her as she soon got up, saw him and jumped again. She walked towards the door and opened it. Ross moved in and kissed her, hard. He had wanted to kiss her for so long and it was everything he thought it would be, everything he had dreamt of doing. He had finally made his move.

"Wow," Rachel whispered.

"I've wanted to do that since ninth grade."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I….I'm sorry I yelled."

"No, I'm sorry too. I should have made my move earlier."

"Yeah, you should've," Rachel grinned as they kissed again. When they parted, he wrapped his arms around her as she kept beaming. "Thank you." she whispered.

"For what?"

"You've always stuck with me. You didn't sell me out. When I had dumped Mon as my friend, you still decided you were mine. You see right through me and it terrifies me but also excites me. Thank you for sticking with me. I guess Chandler was right, the Gellers don't give up on the ones they care about."

"I would never give up on you. I knew you would find your way back to us."

"How?"

"'Cause I just did."

They kissed again and he everything else just vanished. He was with her, he had always wanted to be with her. Nothing else mattered in that moment, just Rachel.

It wasn't until hours later, the impact hit him. He had cheated on Julie. His heart dropped. He had become that guy. He never wanted to be the guy who would cheat on a girl but he had and had cheated with Rachel.

But he wanted Rachel. With help from Chandler and Joey, he had written a list of pros and cons and at the end of the day, he wanted Rachel. It had always been Rachel. After the list had been written, he knew his next step was to break up with Julie. He didn't want to hurt her. He was falling for her, he had made promises and now he had to break them and break her.

"I kissed Rachel," he said those three words to her. They were in her apartment. He confessed and she stared at him.

"You….you kissed Rachel?"

"I'm so sorry Julie."

"But-but I don't understand. You made promises to me. We were going to get a cat."

"I know. I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry. I love you, I do...I just-when Rachel called-"

"She called."

"She was drunk and told me she had feelings for me and-"

Julie began crying and he did as well. He had crushed her. He didn't want to crush her, he wanted Julie. He loved her, there was nothing wrong with Julie. Julie got him but Julie wasn't Rachel. He knew Rachel. Rachel was his fantasy and she wanted him.

"So you're gonna throw us away because Rachel drunk dialed you?"

"Can we still be friends?" Ross asked, knowing that sounded dumb.

"Fuck you. I never stood a chance, did I?"

"That's not true. I was married."

"To a lesbian."

"I didn't know that. Look, I-I've always liked Rachel and...and if….I dated...I-I didn't-I kissed her and it was wrong of me but….I need-"

"You need to leave."

"Julie, we're gonna see each other at school and I don't want you to hate me."

"Too late for that. You made promises. You told-were you full of shit?"

"I meant every word."

"Until Rachel decided she wanted you. You know, she's a raging bitch."

"I can see how you'd think that."

"Get out of my apartment."

"Julie."

"You need to leave. I can't be around you right now," Julie said getting up and walking into her apartment and shutting the door behind her. He sat alone in her apartment, his heart breaking. He hated that he hurt her.

Eventually, he left and headed back to Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey's building where he found Rachel who found the list. The pros and cons, comparing both Julie and Rachel and with that, he lost them both. Rachel was furious with him for writing a list of reasons that he shouldn't date him. They were both gone. That wasn't how any of it was supposed to go.

He ended up walking around alone, for hours. He was freezing but he didn't quite care. He just kept walking until he ended up at Lizzie's apartment. She let him up. It was late, after midnight and she let him in with a glass of wine waiting for him.

"What the hell is wrong you?" Lizzie asked.

"Julie called?"

"Yeah," Lizzie said as they sat on the couch, drinking wine in the dark.

"I lost Rachel too. Chandler helped me make a list to help me decide who to date. Julie or Rachel. Rachel found the list which had all the reasons why I shouldn't date her."

"You're an idiot."

"I lost them both. I like them both. I mean, I love Julie and I love Rachel-"

"You don't love Rachel."

"Yes, I do."

"You love the fantasy of her, Do you really know Rachel? What was on her con list?"

"Shallow, a waitress and she has chubby ankles….which I didn't say."

"And that's stupid but….what's wrong with being a waitress?"

"Nothing and she's not shallow, she's amazing and….I fucked up."

"You did and now it's awkward because I'm friends with her. I'm also friends with Carol."

"I know. I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"You know, I only know the Rachel that I met a couple times when I was at camp. That was years ago….I don't know who she is now. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"She's perfect."

"No one is perfect."

"Rachel is. Even her imperfections are perfection. I love that she cries so easily at everything and I love how much she cares and how brave she is and how strong and….I love how funny she is and how she'll tell people her favorite movie is Terms of Endearment but she loves Spaceballs and Weekend at Bernie's. I love how she danced with me at my sister's Bat Mitzvah as part of a bet but she gave me half the money. She's so sweet and…it doesn't matter. I lost her and I lost Julie."

"I'm sorry."

Ross shrugged as he took another sip of wine. The two remained seated, saying nothing. The sounds of rain soon began pelting the window outside and all Ross could think about were Julie and Rachel and he soon thought of Rachel. He needed Rachel, he wanted Rachel. He would have to figure out a way to make things right, he just wished he knew how.


	29. Chapter 29

January 1996-March 1996

He was thankful for Winter Break although, he didn't have much of a break because even when he was off from school, he was still working. Julie wasn't there and there would be no awkward run-ins which he was grateful for. Of course, it was still awkward with Rachel who was still angry with him about the list. He kept apologizing but she kept blowing him off. He was taking more and more refuge in Lizzie's apartment, hanging out with her and spending time with her. He had even opted to ring in 1996 with Lizzie, Carol, Susan, Jonathan, Sam, Ben and Lauren instead of spending it with Phoebe, Joey, Rachel, Monica and Chandler. After that incredibly uncomfortable Christmas party at Monica and Rachel's where the heater had broke, Phoebe had attempted to visit her dad but couldn't go through with it and Rachel made fun of his hair, he just couldn't stomach another uncomfortable encounter. He told them that he wanted to ring in the new year with his son, they didn't ask questions. Well, Monica did wonder why he couldn't bring her nephew over. Ross gave her a look that he knew his sister would get and that was the end of the conversation.

So he spent New Year's Eve at Lizzie's. Lauren was already sound asleep, curled up beside her mom. Ben was asleep in his carrier, but the adults were wide awake, drinking champagne and discussing Rachel. Well, Ross was discussing Rachel.

"I don't use too much hair gel. Okay, my hair just looks-I don't use too much-" Ross argued, holding his champagne glass up for effect.

"Oh my G-d, can we stop talking about this?" Susan asked.

"No, no, Rachel is wrong," Ross said.

"You said she had chubby ankles," Susan said.

"You should be on my side," Ross said.

"Oh, honey I am never on your side," Susan said.

"I did not say it, okay….I was not the one who wrote that and-it's Rachel's fault," Ross said, a little too loudly.

"Mommy," Lauren whined, burying her head deeper into Lizzie's side and wrapping her arms around her, holding her mom like a teddy bear.

"Alright, babe I'm taking you to your room," Lizzie said as she gently picked up Lauren who let out a loud groan as she snuggled her face into her mom's neck.

"Lauren, do I use too much hair gel?" Ross asked.

"Yes," Lauren whined, loudly.

"See," Susan said.

"Okay, if you're going to use the word of a half asleep five year old to make your argument, then I can no longer help you," Lizzie said walking towards Lauren's bedroom.

"Well, Ben agrees with me," Ross said, motioning towards Ben who was sleeping. He shook his head and took another sip of his champagne, "New Years is lost on the young."

Lizzie soon returned and plopped herself down on the couch and poured herself a glass of champagne. She let out sigh as she looked at Ross, "by the way, too much hair gel."

"I-I-shut up," Ross teased.

"You do tend to use a lot. I mean, are you secretly balding," Jonathan said.

"Well, he is unnaturally hairy," Sam said.

"I hate you all," Ross said.

The group laughed even though Ross tried desperately to be angry. He laughed too, there was such a different atmosphere when he was this group. It almost seemed strangely more adult. Despite the fact this group involved his ex-wife and her lesbian lover, it just felt strangely more relaxed and when the clock struck midnight, the group rang in 1996 together.

A few days later, school was back in session and he was back at the museum. It also meant Julie was there. He wasn't sure what he would say to her if he saw her and when he saw her sitting at a desk in a lecture hall. He slowly walked over to her and sat next to her. Julie let out a snort and began to get up when he reached for her arm.

"Wait, Julie-"

"I'm changing seats."

"Please. Hear me out, please?"

Julie let out a long, pained sigh and sat back down. She looked at him and he knew at once she hated him.

"What?"

"First, how was your break?"

"Fine. How's Rachel?"

"Not talking to me."

"Really?" Julie asked, "sorry," she was trying not to smile.

"No you're not. I-it was stupid. It-we had a setback but I don't want to talk about Rachel. I'm really sorry about what happened and I didn't want to hurt you. We're gonna see each other around for the next two and a half years. I still need a study partner….I need a friend. Can I be your friend?"

"I really liked you, Ross."

"I liked you too, just….this thing with Rachel is….complicated and maybe I should have filled you in or had Carol fill you in before we got together. I've always liked her. A lot and I have tried to get over it. I got married to try to get over it but….she's-"

"Rachel. What do you like about her so much?"

"She's….she's...Rachel. She's perfect."

"No one's perfect Ross."

"I know."

Julie shook her head and looked down at her books. She opened up a spiral notebook and glanced at a syllabus.

"Looks like we have to do a research paper on trilobites this semester. Wanna work on it together?"

"I'd like that."

Julie remained seated next to him as he opened his own notebook and class soon began. By the end of the lecture, he felt confident Julie was no longer hated him or just tolerated him. He was about to suggest they go to lunch when he heard someone call his name. Carol was waiting for him outside the hall.

"What are you doing here?" Ross asked.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

Ross and Carol walked off, away from the students walking out of the hall. Quietly, they made their way to the commissary and soon found a table where they sat across from each other. Carol looked rather uncomfortable and Ross waited for her to speak.

"So….um...Ross….well...see...Susan and I are getting married."

"What?"

"I wanted to tell you at Lizzie's but….yeah."

"Wow...well, Mazel Tov."

"Yeah, the wedding is in a couple weeks and I'd love it if you came."

"I came to the first one."

"Ross, please-"

"Carol….if you were marrying a guy, would you ask me to come?"

"Yes."

"No, you wouldn't," Ross said.

"Ross, I still want you there. I need support. I'm still trying to get my parents to come, but-"

"How's that going?" Ross asked.

"Not good. They're really not okay with this. You know, they still haven't met Ben and they refer to Susan as my roommate. They won't-there's a big chance they won't come. "

"They haven't met Ben? It's their grandson."

"I know. I even told them, Ross' parents have met Ben, Susan's parents have met Ben….come to the wedding, acknowledge your grandson but every single time I talk to them, it's a fight and there's a huge chance they won't show up. I want….Susan's got so many friends-"

"Really?"

"Yes. Shush…..please, Ross? I was also thinking of having Monica cater. I know she's looking for work and I'll pay her 'cause she's good….and besides if I know your sister, I probably owe her because she did the planning for our wedding and...well-"

"Yeah."

"You can also have Joey and Chandler there and Jonathan and Sam….so you have your friends there to support you. Also, Phoebe and Rachel-"

"Rachel's mad at me."

"I know. 'Cause you were an idiot. Why the hell did you need a list, you knew the answer."

"I did like Julie."

"I know but you'll always like Rachel more."

"I don't wanna talk about this," Ross said.

"Okay, Ross….please. If my parents...you know what they're like. I mean, we're parents now, friends and I can't-"

"Alright. Okay, I'll come."

"Thank you."

"I'm bringing Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica….but if I bring them, Lizzie won't come."

"You really think she'll say no? 'Cause it would be cute if Lauren was the flower girl."

"She won't do it. I promise."

"They broke up seven years ago," Carol said.

"I think by now, too much time has passed. Also, I would have to explain to Chandler how Lizzie is still in our lives and that might cause drama."

"Oh, there's already drama."

"Exactly."

Carol slowly began to tell him about the wedding and he began to listen or at least tried. Carol getting married again hit him. He thought of their wedding, of their time together and it made him sad. He missed being married, missed being with someone. He had lost Carol a long time ago. He lost Julie. He lost Rachel. He wanted to feel love again, feel what it was like to be with someone.

Carol's parents refused to attend the wedding and Ross ended up volunteering to walk her down the aisle. While the wedding was beautiful, he felt sad. Joey and Chandler weren't much help, they kept wandering around trying to hit on the guests. Phoebe was acting weird and Monica was running around like a crazy person. Rachel was his best bet as he saw her sitting alone. He slowly approached her with two glasses of wine and handed her one. Rachel was also having a difficult time, her parents were getting divorced and he hadn't really checked in with her. He had been so consumed with the wedding.

"How are you doing?" Ross asked, sitting next to her.

"Not great. My parents are divorcing."

"I'm sorry."

"My mom told me that my dad was her Barry. She married her Barry. I did not so my mom was encouraged."

"Well, that's flattering. She wants to be like you," Ross said.

"Can't she just copy my hair," Rachel said.

"Hey, you know, I'm sorry about the list...again."

"I don't wanna discuss it. I'm….not the way I wanted to kick off 1996."

"Hey, I'm watching my ex-wife get married...to a woman. Not how I dreamt of starting 1996 either."

"Okay, I may think you're stupid but um….what you did today, that was good. I know it was hard for you."

"Thanks."

"What was your wedding like?"

"Wonderful. I did love her, Rachel. Carol was….she was the only one who I could see...well, after you-"

"Ross."

"What? I saw myself with her. Forever."

"I wonder what that's like," Rachel said.

"You really never loved Barry?" Ross asked.

"No, I did. At the beginning. He was fun but then….he became not fun and I became bored. G-d, look at us. We're sad."

"Yeah."

Ross and Rachel sat silently, each sipping their wine and watching the activity around them. Ross was finding some amusement in watching Chandler and Joey get turned down by women at the wedding. He laughed when he overheard Chandler tell a woman, "penis schmenius, we're all people". He looked over at Rachel who laughed as well. It made the moment a little less uncomfortable when suddenly Ross heard some very familiar chords and "I've Been Waiting for a Girl Like You" began playing. He was instantly transported back to Monica's Bat Mitzvah. That was his first dance with Rachel.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

Ross smiled, looking at her and knowing she was remembering the moment as well.

"I know you're mad but….you wanna dance?"

"Depends, do I get my ten bucks back?" Rachel asked, grinning at him.

He laughed, remembering that Rachel had made the mistake of telling him how she had been bet twenty bucks to dance with him and ultimately had to give him half.

"Oh, hell no. Come on, dance with me."

Rachel nodded as Ross stood up and held out his hand. She took it and the two walked onto the dance floor. He held her as the music played. No words were spoken between them and maybe no words needed to be.

With that dance, there was an unspoken truce between Ross and Rachel. Maybe nothing more needed to be said, no more apologies. It was just them. Maybe something would happen, maybe it wouldn't but at least Rachel was no longer mad at him and maybe there could be some progress in their relationship, maybe the door wasn't closed just yet. After all, as Phoebe kept trying to explain, Ross and Rachel were each other's lobsters.

It was now February and Monica and Ross' parents had decided to drop off a box of old items which she was going through. Phoebe was sitting on the couch, looking through Monica's old yearbook while Ross, Chandler and Joey sat at the table, eating pizza and going over a script that Joey had for a soap opera.

"What if I get this job? I could be on Days of Our Lives," Joey said.

"That would be amazing," Ross said.

"I know, then you can finally start paying half the rent," Chandler grinned.

"How are you still not paying half the rent," Ross said.

"I gave you twenty bucks last week," Joey said.

"Of my money. You asked to borrow twenty bucks, I gave it to you and then you gave it back to me," Chandler said.

"Yeah, and?" Joey asked.

"Give me my money, bitch," Chandler said.

"I thought we were brothers, man," Joey said.

"You know, we're not actually brothers," Chandler said.

"I don't see it that way," Joey mused.

Chandler gave Ross a look. Ross simply laughed. He knew by now Joey was not taking advantage of Chandler's money and at this point, he really only blamed Chandler.

"Hey, you're the one who's been letting it go on this long," Ross said.

"Yeah, you have no one to blame but yourself," Joey said.

"I can't even….I tried…." Rachel groaned as she walked into the apartment. She was not in a great mood that evening as she glared at Ross before plopping herself on the couch opposite Phoebe.

"Wow, you had a huge nose, Rach," Phoebe mused, looking at the yearbook.

"Wow….thanks, Pheebs," Rachel said, giving her a look.

"Just saying. You want me to lie?" Phoebe asked.

"I'd appreciate that, yes," Rachel said.

"Huh, I wonder what this is?" Monica asked as she grabbed a VHS tape from the box. "Oh, my G-d….Rachel. Prom. You wanna go back to 1988?"

"Oh, yes….it was so much easier," Rachel said.

"I don't know. I spent 1988 in Prague cleaning ice dancer costumes and getting sexually assaulted by strange men," Phoebe said.

"Stop it," Rachel said, angrily.

His ears perked up hearing what was on the tape. Prom? It had never occurred to him that his parents would have kept it.

"Why are you in such a pissy mood?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know," Rachel said turning to stare at Ross, "you want a list?"

"Alright, I have told you…..it was Chandler's idea," Ross argued, clearly their brief truce from the wedding had passed.

"Joe, script please?" Chandler asked taking the script out of Joey's hand, rolling it up and smacking Ross with it, "leave me out of this."

"I wanna watch this," Monica said.

"You know, we don't have to watch this," Ross said.

"I want to….I wanna wax nostalgic about your hair," Chandler grinned.

"Joe, script?" Ross held out his hand, Joey handed him the script. Ross rolled it up and smacked Chandler with it.

"You wanna watch, Rach?" Monica asked.

"Sure and if I remember prom correctly, Chip almost stood me up and hooked up with that slut bitch, Amy. Hey, but at least I was the goddamn homecoming queen. Sure, Mon pop that sucker in," Rachel said.

"Hey, Coyote….running off the cliff soon? Chandler asked, grinning.

"Hey, loser...I'd ask you what you were doing in 1988, but I'm sure it involved being blacked out and drunk off your ass," Rachel said.

"Yeah, a lot of it….yeah," Chandler said.

"Joey," Rachel said.

"I got it," Joey rolled up his script and smacked Chandler with it. Chandler laughed as he got up and walked towards Rachel, throwing his arms around her and hugging her as she squirmed. Ross was starting to get annoyed by Chandler as well. He was acting way too silly.

"Oh, Rachel….I love you, you're so awesome," Chandler cooed.

"Get away from me, loser," Rachel yelled. Monica put the tape in the VCR and pressed play. Rachel managed to escape from Chandler and ran towards Monica. The two sat side by side and linked arms as they watched.

"We really don't have to watch this," Ross said.

"Whoa, some girl ate Monica," Joey said, pointing to the camera as Monica's former heavier self appeared on screen.

"The camera adds ten pounds," Monica tried.

"Uh-huh, exactly how many cameras are on you?" Chandler said.

"Ross?" Monica asked.

"Got it," Ross smacked Chandler upside the head. Monica grinned happily, Rachel laughed as well as she turned with Monica to watch the video as did Ross but when Rachel appeared on screen with her ultimate 80's hair and dress, he got quiet. He knew she had designed that dress. He knew what was on that tape and soon enough, so did the rest of the group. Chandler looked back at him, concerned and serious now.

"That's why you were pissed when you came back?" Chandler asked, whispering. Ross nodded slowly. Chandler continued, "Hmmm, Rach was right. Your lip does look like it was attacked by an angry caterpillar."

"Ass," Ross muttered. "And I knew you thought the joke was funny."

Soon the video ended on Ross' sad face while Monica, Roy, Rachel and Chip ran out of the house for prom. Ross could feel everyone's eyes on him and he wanted to leave. He looked at Rachel who was staring at him.

"Oh my G-d….Ross," Monica said.

Ross watched her get up and slowly walk towards him. She walked to him and before he knew it, she was kissing him, it was a deep kiss, a wonderful kiss. They were officially a couple.

"You really were gonna take me to prom?" Rachel asked.

"Yep," Ross said.

"You were gonna take him to prom, remember? Chip wasn't there yet and I told you to ask Ross," Monica said.

"Yeah and I kinda wish I had gone with you," Rachel said, looking at Ross, "I would have had far more fun."

Ross leaned in and kissed Rachel. It was perfect and he loved that he could now officially call her his girlfriend. It was his fantasy, his dream and it was now officially a reality.

Rachel felt amazing being with him, being able to call herself Ross' girlfriend. This was good, perfect. Exactly how it was supposed to be.

He had planned a perfect first date at a fancy restaurant he knew Rachel loved but instead, they ended up lying together in each other's arms in the planetarium of the Natural History Museum. The fake stars twinkling above them as they stole kisses and stared at each other and their first time was incredible.

"Wow," Rachel whispered.

"I can't believe it's you."

"Ross," Rachel said looking at him, "thank you."

"For what?"

"For sticking with me. Even when I left, you wouldn't let me go. Chandler and I always tease you and Mon, that you will never let either one of us go. I'm glad."

"Rach, I've wanted you for so long. From that moment at Monica's Bat Mitzvah, when we danced and you tried so hard to convince me you were this mean girl. You were never a mean girl...at least, not to me."

"Do you think everything's gonna change?" Rachel asked.

"With what?"

"The six of us. We're now four friends and a couple. I don't want it change the six of us. I want us to still always be the six of us."

"We will be."

"Promise?"

Ross leaned in to kiss Rachel again the two continued to explore each other and to engage in this new level of their relationship. It felt right, felt like they were right on the cusp of something, like some big love affair that would forever be exclusively theirs.

Ross and Rachel weren't the only new development. Monica had a new boyfriend as well, Richard Burke. Richard was best friends with Jack Geller. It was a little odd but Monica was happy as was he. He was thrilled to just be with Rachel. Everything else just seemed to fade when he was with her.

Almost everything.

He wanted to not see it. He wanted to ignore it but it was getting harder and harder to ignore. Chandler was losing weight. Rapidly. He knew the signs. When Joey moved out after getting a role on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Ramoray, Eddie moved in and it freaked Ross out. Eddie was nuts and was seemingly on something. By the middle of March, it was starting to become painfully obvious. Eddie had only lived with Chandler for a month. Joey moved back in with Chandler after killed off on Days, but it seemed like something had happened in that month. A month was enough time to get Chandler hooked again and it was the one thing that was like a cloud hanging over his relationship with Rachel.

"Is he going to die?" Rachel asked as she and Ross lay in bed together in her bed.

"Not if we can help it."

"I can't….I can't bury him too. I-you know I found Brian's body and that image...that image of his legs and his body and he was all blue and...I held him and I kept yelling at him to wake up, I can't go through that again. I can't…."

"We're not going to."

"How bad was it the first time?"

"It was bad. He got painkillers for his toe and he was already drinking too much and he'd down painkillers with booze and he spiraled. Monica and I spent the entire winter break with him."

"Why does he hate himself so much?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know."

"Does he realize how much we don't hate him? Does he realize we love him?"

"No."

Ross looked at Rachel who seemed to be deep in thought. He watched her as she got up and walked out of the room. He knew where she was going, even though he asked. He felt for her. He knew she felt guilty, she wanted to talk to Chandler. He got up and waited for her to return and when she did, she looked upset. He knew that she had tried but he knew the truth, it didn't matter.

"You alright?" Ross asked.

"I don't know."

Ross wrapped his arms around Rachel and kissed her as they walked back into the bedroom and shut the door.

He was worried but he didn't want to let on to Rachel and Monica how worried he was. He didn't really want to confide in Phoebe or Joey because he wasn't sure how much they knew. He really only had one person. Ever since he and Rachel had gotten together, he hadn't seen Lizzie all that much but he owed Lauren and Lizzie a dinner. So he did just that and at that dinner, he let Lizzie know about Chandler.

"He's back on the drugs?" Lizzie asked.

Lauren was sitting at the coffee table, practicing writing her letters not paying much attention. They had already eaten dinner and now Lizzie and Ross were catching up.

"He had this roommate….that guy moved out though….I don't know and Rachel and Monica are freaked out. Monica's dating a fifty year old by the way."

"Nice. You know, you and Rachel can come over. It would be nice to see her again."

"Rachel feels guilty. She didn't wanna come the first time. The first time, she didn't care but she cares now and Mon….and I don't wanna say anything because….but he's completely wasting away. Has he come into Pub 2?"

"Yeah, he has."

"And?"

"He looks really thin."

"Maybe you can talk to Monica and Rachel….or him? Could you talk to Chandler again."

"I can't-I can't go through that again. Look, he needs rehab. He needs something and if he's not ready-"

"I know."

"How are things with you and Rachel?"

"Amazing."

"Then enjoy being with her."

Ross simply nodded. It was getting way too complicated. He was thrilled that he had Rachel. Rachel was that bright spot. Despite all the drama, the fact that he still had her made everything else a little more bearable.


	30. Chapter 30

**April 1996-May 1996**

Lying in Rachel's bed, he could hear Monica outside. He and Rachel were both laying there quietly. Richard had just left and they could hear Monica talking. Ross got up and walked towards the door and could hear his sister talking to Chandler. Even from across the room, he could hear the worry in her voice as she asked if Chandler was okay and him saying he was. When he heard the door shut, he stepped into the doorway of Rachel's room. Monica turned to look at him, her eyes filling with tears as Ross walked across the room, towards her.

"Mon?"

"He's back on drugs. We're gonna go through this again. Chandler's on drugs….again. Fuck," Monica cried as Ross hugged her, "he's lying to me. I know he is...he's getting too thin and...this is why I can't date Chandler. He's a drug addict."

"We will figure it out. Between the five of us, we'll save him. I promise. You're not fixing him alone."

Monica nodded as Ross hugged her. He hated when Monica cried. He hated when he knew his sister felt helpless. He knew Monica loved control, loved to fix but with Chandler, she didn't know how to fix and he knew that killed her.

"What if you told Lizzie?" Rachel asked as she walked towards them. Ross and Monica stopped hugging and looked at Rachel.

"I don't know. I don't think she wants anything to do with him anymore," Ross said, "and also then I would have to explain why I've been friends with her ever since they broke up. He has no clue that-"

"That you were friends-with-benefits?" Rachel asked, clearly trying to make the situation a little lighter.

"Exactly," Ross said.

"No, no, let Lizzie raise her daughter. She's got a life and she….I'll fix him," Monica said.

"We will all fix him," Rachel said.

"Yeah," Ross said.

"I'm gonna serve him lots of muffins today," Rachel mused. Ross and Monica both looked at her and laughed.

"What?" Monica asked.

"He's gotten way too thin, I'll do what I can," Rachel said.

"Thanks, Rach," Monica said. "Ross, I don't wanna go through the withdrawals. I hated seeing him that sick."

"I know….but we gotta stick with him," Ross said.

"Yeah," Monica said. "Alright, I'm gonna go get dressed."

Monica walked towards the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Ross looked over at Rachel who gently wrapped her arm around his waist. Ross kissed her on the head as they walked back to Rachel's room.

He did try to keep an eye on Chandler but he was also wrapped up in school and his relationship with Rachel. He was often busy, which he felt guilty about. Grad school took up a lot of time and when he wasn't studying or researching or working, he was with Rachel. May was especially busy. Not only did he have a major paper to write, he was celebrating Lauren's six birthday and Rachel's twenty sixth. Lauren's sixth birthday was at a place called, Magic Gymnastics and it was filled with five and six year olds jumping and playing and laughing. When Ross arrived, Lizzie was setting up lunch for the kids and she seemed rather busy herself.

"Hey," Ross said as he walked towards her.

"You made it," Lizzie said, hugging him.

"I've been up forever and then I have Rachel's birthday tonight. A six year old's birthday and a twenty six year old's birthday. I almost mixed up the gifts."

"That wouldn't have been good," Lizzie said.

"And then I have Rachel's ex-fiancee's wedding in a couple weeks. She's the maid of honor," Ross said.

"That's just weird and awkward," Lizzie said.

"I know, right."

"Ross," Lauren yelled, racing towards him. He picked her up as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. "Guess what, it's my birthday and I'm six years old."

"I know and I know a girl who is also having a birthday today but she's twenty six."

"Whoa, that's old," Lauren said.

"Hey," Lizzie said.

"Your mom is twenty seven. I'm still twenty six….until October," Ross said.

"Still old," Lauren said, clearly teasing him. "Hee, hee. I made a joke."

"Yes, you did."

"You know what else my mommy said?" Lauren asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"My mommy said we might move to Tulsa," Lauren said.

"Tulsa?" Ross asked.

"Lauren, sweetie, go play with your friends," Lizzie said.

Lauren nodded as Ross put her down. She ran off to go play with a couple other little girls who were currently jumping on trampolines.

"Tulsa?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. Maybe not this year, maybe after she finishes first grade. I want to get a job there and my sister and her family moved back and my parents are there and it would be nice for Lauren to know her cousins. My whole family is there and-"

"What about acting? I thought you had a Broadway dreams. I thought you were going to go on auditions now?" Ross asked.

"I do and I have but….I'm giving it another year, Ross. I need to provide for her, you know and…"

"Is this because of Chandler?" Ross asked.

"What? No. No. This is about me wanting to raise my child and have help raising my child. It is also expensive to live in this city. I can get a really nice, one thousand square foot, two bedroom apartment for like nine hundred dollars in Tulsa. I can't get that here. I love this city but I don't know…."

"So you're giving up?"

"I'm not giving up, I'm trying to be a mom. A good one and I love it here but...I'm giving it another year."

"I don't want you to go. What about Halloween?" Ross asked.

"You will have her this year and I haven't made any decisions yet."

"Okay."

"How's Rachel?" Lizzie asked.

"Perfect. It's amazing and….Monica's still dating Richard. He's like fifty but he's...strangely handsome."

"Really?"

"Looks like Magnum PI," Ross said.

"Go, Monica."

Ross laughed as Lizzie continued to set up. He walked over to where the kids were playing. Lauren was sitting on the trampoline with two other little girls. One of the girls leaned in and whispered something into Lauren's ear which caused Lauren to begin giggling. She then looked at the other girl next to her and whispered. He loved that he was watching her grow up. It made him start to think of Lauren's dad.

"Hard to believe she's six," Lizzie said, appearing next to him.

"Do you think of her dad? Ever?" Ross asked.

"Sometimes. Especially on her birthday. He's missing so much but he doesn't know. He has no clue he has a daughter and it's….it's….but…"

"Have you tried tracking him down? I know you called him a lot but-"

"No, no...I-he had friends. See, I called about fifty times and never got a call back and I guess he told some of his friends to take care of it or something so his friends came by my dorm and not-so-gently told me to not contact him," Lizzie said.

Ross cocked his head to the side and looked at her. He had not heard this part of the story. Lizzie had always been so secretive about it.

"Excuse me? When did this happen? Why didn't you ever tell me this?" Ross asked.

"I don't like talking about it. But yeah, I was told to never contact him so I didn't. I won't...I just...he was on a television show."

"Really? Which one?"

"Not telling. But it doesn't matter, I don't think he's on it anymore," Lizzie said. "And I mean, by this point….she's old enough to ask questions and he doesn't wanna be found but she's lucky 'cause she's surrounded. Here and in Tulsa and she's got father figures so it's gonna be good. She doesn't need him. Look what he's missing."

Ross watched as Lauren and her two friends stood up on the trampoline, grabbing onto each other's hands. The trio began jumping up and down while laughing hysterically. He couldn't help but laugh. As he watched her though, there was a small thought that began to nag at the back of her mind. She grinned in a way that reminded him of someone. Something about Lauren seemed strangely familiar. He shook his head, thinking he was just being weird. Of course she looked familiar, she looked like Lizzie.

Rachel's twenty sixth birthday had a completely different vibe because with her parents divorcing, she had two birthday parties so that her parents could be separated. Ross desperately wanted to make sure Rachel's birthday went smoothly, racing between the guys apartment and Monica and Rachel's to make sure that her parents never crossed paths, it was during one of those runs where he saw Chandler and Rachel sitting side by side on the steps. Chandler had his arm around Rachel as she leaned into him.

"Everything okay?" Ross asked.

"Ehhh, you wouldn't understand. Your parents are happy and like each other," Chandler said as Ross sat on the other side of Rachel.

"Just sad. My parents hate each other and this is what I have to look forward to," Rachel said.

"I'm sorry, Rach," Ross said.

"Alright, I'm gonna leave you two alone. I gotta get a shot," Chandler said.

"How much have you had?" Ross asked.

"Shut up," Chandler said, standing up and glaring at Ross.

"Please don't get drunk tonight. I'm so not in the mood," Rachel said.

"I am fine, okay. Just want to have a drink. Stop it, both of you," Chandler said as he walked back into his apartment and slammed the door shut behind him. Rachel looked at Ross and began crying again as Ross placed his arm around her and she fell into him.

"I hate being twenty six. It sucks," Rachel moaned.

"You've been twenty six for less than twenty four hours."

"I don't care, it sucks. How was Lauren's birthday? She's six?"

"Yep. It was at a gymnastics place."

"That sounds awesome."

"I had cake. It was good cake," Ross grinned.

"Great. Mon made me flan," Rachel said. "I hate twenty six. What did the cake look like?"

"Well, it was chocolate inside. Chocolate with chocolate filling and then it had cream cheese frosting on the outside and with mini chocolate chips, oh and pink and purple roses made out frosting-"

"I love those."

"It said, 'Happy Birthday, Lauren' in pink frosting-"

"I'm jealous of six year old. I'm getting fucking flan."

"You never know, it's probably good."

"Bite me and...crap….but…"

"I know."

"Thank you though for doing all this tonight. For working hard and keeping them separate and-"

"I've got it."

"I guess I should go back to my flan," Rachel said as she gave Ross a kiss before standing up and walking into her and Monica's apartment. He stood up and walked back into Joey and Chandler's apartment. Chandler was at the counter with a couple blondes, playing quarters. He shook his head and was going to say something when he noticed Joey walk out of Chandler's room and looking around as if he was hiding something. He looked over at Chandler who seemed oblivious as he pounded back a shot of whiskey. Ross walked towards Joey as Joey walked towards the bathroom. Ross stopped him before he reached the door.

"Joe, you alright?" Ross asked.

"Uhhhh…" Joey said, before looking over at Chandler. Ross looked back at him as well. Chandler had lined up several shot glasses on the counter and was pouring whiskey into all of them. He shot another one back. "Can I show you something?" Joey asked, motioning towards the bathroom.

"Um, no...I'm good," Ross said.

"Not that," Joey walked into the bathroom and Ross followed him in, closing the door behind him.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Look, I don't know….I've only been around for four years so I don't know him like you do or Monica or….well, but I know...I've been around this and-well-a buddy of mine passed away from this-well-"

"What are you saying?" Ross asked.

Joey reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of Oxycontin. Ross took it and read it, his heart falling.

"These were in his room. He has a lot of them. Now-" Joey grabbed the bottle from Ross and opened it, pouring all the pills in the toilet and flushing, "he has one less."

"Wow, Joe-"

"Look, he's got a problem, don't worry, I got it."

"We all got it. You're flushing 'em?" Ross asked.

"Yep."

"Thanks. We've dealt with this before. Monica and I, in college….we'll just have to watch him and make sure he doesn't die."

"Oh, he's not gonna die. I'll kill him before he kills himself," Joey said.

Ross opened his mouth and shut it, giving him a look. Joey grinned, giving him a look back as if acknowledging what he said.

"Alright, well….let's go see the rest of the party. We gotta keep Rachel's dad in the apartment and you and I have been in here together for enough time that it's actually now bordering on creepy."

Joey laughed as the two walked out of the bathroom together. Chandler noticed them and let out a laugh as he held up another shot glass.

"What the hell were you two doing in there?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, Ross had to show me something," Joey said.

"Wh-why did I have to show you something?" Ross asked.

"What? I'm not showing you anything. Don't be creepy," Joey said as he patted Ross on the back and walked off. Ross let out a snort and continued to watch Rachel's dad. He would let Joey take care of Chandler and he was kinda happy that Joey told him what he was doing with Chandler's pills. It made him feel better, like he could concentrate on other things, like Rachel.

The next night, he was sitting in Monica and Rachel's apartment waiting for her. Chandler was there as well, hanging out with them. Rachel was having a happy hour with some of her Central Perk co-workers so he would just wait. Monica though was still pushing with Chandler. She was still worried.

"It's just, I mean I remember last time and-"

"Stop, Mon," Chandler said interrupting her.

"Did you meet anyone nice at the party?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, a couple people. Nice girls. One gave me her phone number," Chandler said.

"Nice," Ross said.

"Yeah, it's 212-867-5309," Chandler said, his face deadpanned. Monica and Ross exchanged a look and tried to contain their giggles at the girl who not only gave a fake number but also gave the title of an 80's pop song.

"Was her name Jenny?" Monica asked.

"Did she write a number on a wall?" Ross asked.

"Well, and for a good time call…" Monica said.

"Shut up, this is why I drink," Chandler said.

"I thought you drank 'cause you were an alcoholic," Ross muttered.

"Bite me," Chandler said.

Ross laughed as Rachel walked into the apartment and towards Ross. She gave him a kiss before plopping down on his lap.

"How was your happy hour?" Monica asked.

"Awesome," Rachel said.

"So are you happy you now have friends outside the six of us," Chandler said.

"You want friends outside the six of us?" Ross asked.

"Yes, I do," Rachel said.

"Why?" Ross asked.

"We're not good enough for her," Chandler grinned.

"No. No, not at all. Okay, you guys all have friends outside of our group. I have no one. Seriously, I don't think you guys get it. I lost every friend I had when I ran out on my wedding. You guys had to invite your friends to my birthday. Come on," Rachel groaned. "Although, um, Chandler….I do have something to ask you."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"My new friend….and co-worker….Sarah-"

"Which one is Sarah?" Ross asked.

"She's the redheaded waitress. Really cute….can I set you up with her?" Rachel asked.

"Oh….I don't know," Chandler said.

"Why not?" Rachel asked.

"I don't….I don't know...just-"

"She's cute," Ross said.

"It might be nice," Monica said.

"I'm gonna go...I gotta do something," Chandler said, looking uncomfortable. He stood up and walked out the door.

"He's not well," Rachel said.

"No. He's not," Monica said.

"I thought that maybe if I set him up, he might...I don't know. Is he gonna be okay?"

"He will, we will make sure he's okay," Ross said.

"I never even knew Brian was addicted to anything. He never got thin like Chandler or anything...I don't what I'm supposed to do," Rachel said.

"We've been through it before….we'll do it again," Monica said. "By the way, Rach. Richard was invited to Mindy's wedding. I'm his plus one."

"Seriously?" Rachel asked, her mouth dropping.

"I so don't wanna go. I hate Mindy and I hate all those girls," Monica groaned.

"You have to go. Come on, please."

"I can't….no," Monica said. "Those girls made my life miserable."

"Nancy won't be there and...Sharon might and….and-well, you didn't know our friends from college but...please?" Rachel asked.

"If I'm going, you're going," Ross said. Yes, he did have to agree with Monica that it was ridiculous but he needed Monica to go. It was important to his sanity.

"Exactly. Ross is my plus one."

"Hmmm, if I go as Richard's plus one, what am I getting from you?" Monica asked.

"Wh-what?" Rachel asked.

He kinda liked this side of Monica. He loved that she was asking for something in return. She never would have done that when they were kids.

"All throughout high school, you would say crap like that….'oh, they're my friends', 'oh you don't understand'...I invited them to my Bat Mitzvah and they all stood around and mooed me."

"I made ten bucks at your Bat Mitzvah," Ross grinned.

"How?" Monica asked.

"Nancy did actually bet me twenty bucks to dance with Ross but I made the stupid mistake of telling Ross that and I had to give him half," Rachel said.

"Easiest ten bucks ever made," Ross grinned as Rachel playfully elbowed him.

"Wait, and if you're Richard's plus one shouldn't he be doing something for you?" Rachel asked.

"No. I'm going to a wedding of a girl who made me miserable and made you miserable but you were too big of a coward to admit it," Monica said.

"I admitted it," Rachel argued.

"In 1994," Monica said.

"Better late than never. Monica, come on...I'm not dumping you for them. I'm not gonna just decide to be their friend. I need support this time. I'm walking in there and...she's marrying Barry….and you saw my dress? I think that's punishment enough, don't you think?"

"That is a hideous dress. Okay, Rach."

"And after….I will take you shopping and buy you whatever you want that is under fifty bucks," Rachel grinned.

Monica agreed with that. Ross was enjoying this new dynamic of Rachel and Monica's friendship. For so long, Monica had done whatever Rachel wanted and while Monica still did that, at least she finally got something in return. After chatting for a bit longer, Monica retreated to her room to call up Richard and Ross went to the fridge to get something for Rachel. After the flan disaster from her birthday, he had made a few calls and went to a bakery to get an individual cake, the exact replica of the one Lauren had, just smaller and it saying 'Happy Birthday Rachel'. He got two forks from the drawer and walked over to her, handing her the cake box. Her mouth dropped as she looked at Ross.

"It's like the one Lauren had. Right?" Rachel asked.

"Smaller and it has your name on it but it has the pink and purple roses and it's the exact same cake," Ross said.

"Awww, thank you," Rachel said as she leaned in and gave him a kiss. He handed her a fork which she happily took and dug in, taking a big bite. "Oh, G-d. So good."

"It's not flan."

"So good. I'm no longer jealous of a six year old."

"You don't have to be, you're gonna be fine Rach. You're amazing. Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," Rachel said as they shared another kiss before continuing to eat the cake together. They soon retreated to Rachel's bedroom to continue the eating.

Mindy and Barry's wedding was ridiculous. Ross had to agree with Monica on that. He didn't really know Barry all that well and he barely remembered Mindy. The only reason he was even there was for Rachel and Monica was there for Richard but there were about a million other places he wanted to be: the dentist, getting shot in the ass and getting run over by a truck were three of the things that came to mind.

"I am in hell," Rachel grumbled to Ross as they walked into the ceremony the day of the wedding.

"You look beautiful," Ross said, trying although he never thought he'd say it but this was the first time he could actually say Rachel did not look hot.

"Ross, come on...you got me. Shut up. Stop trying to kiss up."

"Fine….Princess Bubble Yum," Ross grinned.

"That's Chandler's joke. Think of your own."

"But Chandler is so much better at making fun of you than I am."

"That is true," Rachel said.

"Rachel, how nice of you to come," An older couple approached them and hugged Rachel but seemed to ignore Ross. He was wondering if he should introduce himself or wait, he felt very uncomfortable.

"I'm the Maid of Honor so….yeah, had to," Rachel said.

"Well, it is nice of you to show up and hopefully you'll stay this time, after all it's not everyday our only son gets married. Oh, wait…maybe the only wedding of his you'll stay at," the older man said.

Ross let that sink in, so the old people were Barry's parents. They seemed kinda bizarre to him. Kinda stuck up and still did not seem to notice him although something Barry's dad said struck him as bizarre and it seemed to strike Rachel as odd too.

"Yeah, funny...wait, only son?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," the woman said.

"What about Brian?" Rachel asked.

"Brian?" Barry's mom asked.

"Was that another wedding you ran out on?" Barry's dad asked, grinning from ear to ear. Ross didn't know Barry's parents at all, but he found them to be really strange. He hated them and he wasn't sure he had ever hated anyone he had never met.

"No, your other son," Rachel said.

"We never had a son named, Brian. You must be confused," Barry's mom said. Ross looked at the shocked, angry look on Rachel's face as Barry's parents made a quick exit and walked away from them. Rachel looked at Ross with her mouth open and walked off towards Barry and another guy talking together.

"Barry," Rachel said.

"You look like Pepto Bismol," Barry's friend teased.

"Thanks, Alex. Um, Bar….I just talked to your parents and they seem to think they only have one son. Brian might be gone but-"

"We don't talk about him," Barry said. "He no longer exists."

"What? He did exist," Rachel said. "He existed to me."

"'Cause you hooked up with him," Barry's friend whom was apparently named, Alex, said.

"I'm gonna kick you in the head," Rachel said.

"We don't talk about him. We don't mention him. Just don't talk about him….at all. I'm gonna go," Barry said as he and his friend walked off. Rachel turned and looked at Ross, stunned.

"He was right. Brian was right," Rachel said.

"Maybe it's too painful for them?" Ross asked.

"No, no...he used to say his parents would disown him if he came out and that his prison was worse than mine and that he….oh my G-d. He was their child. How do you forget your child exists?"

"I don't know."

"You would have liked him, Ross. Chandler would have liked him. He was funny and sweet….so kind...I probably would've hooked up with him if he liked me in that way."

"Well….that's nice," Ross said.

"Alright, you go find Monica and Richard. I should probably go find Mindy and the rest of her bridal party," Rachel said as she gave Ross a kiss and walked off towards Mindy's dressing room. Ross shook his head and walked into the ceremony, finding a seat next to Monica and Richard.

"I'm in the Twilight Zone," Ross said.

"I'm in hell," Monica said.

"It's not that bad," Richard said.

"Mindy was awful to me," Monica said.

"I think this is where Rachel had her wedding," Ross mused.

"Where's the window and can we crawl out if it?" Monica asked.

"This is a weird family," Ross said.

That was an understatement. He found the whole thing a level of bizarre he had never known. Barry's family forgetting their other son? Rachel being the Maid of Honor? Everything was just off the wall. He found himself feeling kinda proud of Rachel. Proud that she had gotten out when she had.

After the ceremony, they held on to each other dancing and stealing kisses. She may have been dressed like Little Bo Peep but she was beyond strong. He loved it.

"You're amazing, you know," Ross said.

"How am I amazing?" Rachel asked.

"This is bizarre. This is strange and you would have been part of this family. Congrats on getting out."

"Thank you 'cause if I had married Barry, I would not have had a birthday party with flan," Rachel said.

"See."

"I hate these people."

"I know."

Ross held her close as they continued to dance together. Rachel rested her head on Ross' shoulder when suddenly she stepped back and looked at Ross.

"They just broke up," Rachel said.

"What?" Ross asked looking back towards Richard. Rachel walked out of the room and Ross stood there. He walked over to Richard who was sitting at the table looking like someone had taken the life from him.

"Richard?"

"Ross," Richard said as Ross sat next to him.

"What happened?"

"I'm forty seven years old, Ross. I have two kids. A twenty six year old and a twenty nine year old old. I've done the birthday parties and first days of school and graduations and weddings. I'm a grandfather. I don't want...I love your sister a lot and I wish-I don't know-"

"I'm sorry," Ross said, getting it immediately. Richard did not want children. Monica did, Ross knew that. Ross knew the one thing his sister wanted and Richard had already done that part of his life. Soon Ross got up and patted Richard on the back before going outside to see Rachel and Monica sitting together. Ross sat beside them as both continued to comfort Monica.


	31. Chapter 31

**September 1996-November 1996**

After the summer was spent comforting Monica, Ross was thankful to be back to school. Although, he was counting the days until the end. May 1998, that would be his official graduation and it could not come quick enough. He had had enough. When he wasn't studying, he was trying to be there for his sister as well as Chandler. Soon after Barry and Mindy's wedding, Chandler began to date Janice but it didn't really help in terms of his weight or his drinking or drug use. In fact, Chandler seemed almost rail thin. His cheeks were hollowed in and his clothes hung off his body like he was hanger.

"It's actually scary. I don't think it was this bad the first time," Ross said as he and Lizzie walked Lauren towards her first grade classroom. He had wanted to drop her off just as he had her first day of kindergarten and Lizzie was happy to let him. This time though, he had Ben with him. Lauren wanted Ben to come with her to see her classroom and Susan and Carol okayed it. Lauren was carefully pushing Ben in his stroller and Ben was alternating sleeping and making babbling sounds. He had turned a year old in May and it had been a small little party with cake and the adults hanging out. Ben had two parties as well, one where he got to hang out with his aunt Monica and second where he hung out with Lauren, Lizzie, Carol and Susan.

"Well, should he go somewhere?" Lizzie asked.

"Can you talk to him? You work at Pub 2," Ross said.

"I know."

"Have you said something?" Ross asked.

"I-I've asked if he's okay but honestly he doesn't come around that much anymore because he probably knows I'll say something and I've never said we're friends."

"I don't know what to do, Liz. I don't wanna do this again and between my sister being depressed about breaking up with Richard and this and…."

"I know, I know but he's an addict. he has a disease. You know, when Chandler and I broke up and I went to therapy...I went Al Anon meetings and they really helped. He's sick and until he's ready, there's nothing we can do."

"I just don't want him to accidentally overdose or-"

"I know, me neither."

"Mommy, look...Ben, Ben we're here," Lauren said pushing Ben towards the entrance to Anderson Elementary School. "Look, Ben."  
Lauren peered into his stroller and then back up at Ross and Lizzie and then back at Ben who began to cry and get fussy.

"Mommy, I think he's broken. Ross, you have to get him fixed, you broke him," Lauren said.

Ross laughed as he walked towards Ben and knelt beside him. He picked him up and began to hold him and gently rock and forth to help soothe him.

"I don't think he's broken. I think he's just fussy," Ross said.

"Why? I'm the one who woke up at like two am," Lauren said.

"You did not wake up at two am," Lizzie said.

"It was early," Lauren said.

"It was early but it was not two am," Lizzie said.

"Actually, he did wake up at two am," Ross said.

"Come on," Lauren said as the four walked into the school and towards the first grade classroom. As they walked down the hall, Lauren began to walk ahead of them.

"She's becoming very independent," Ross said.

"You're not kidding. She's like a preteen in the body of a six year old," Lizzie said.

"She really is," Ross said as they stopped in front of a classroom.

"Alright, come on in. This is gonna be my classroom," Lauren said as Ross and Lizzie followed her inside. Ross was still holding Ben with one hand and pushing the stroller with other. After meeting the teacher, Lauren began showing Ben all the stuff in her classroom, more specifically her desk and her cubby. As Lauren talked, Ross noticed Ben looking at Lauren, giggling as she spoke.

"I can't wait for them to get married," Ross mused.

"Oh, no...she has a boyfriend," Lizzie said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Look," Lizzie pointed at a little boy who standing by a table. He looked up and saw Lauren and began walking towards her. Ross and Lizzie exchanged a look as the boy walked over to Lauren.

"Hi, Lauren. You wanna see my new backpack? It has Batman on it," the boy said.

"Yeah, okay….mine has Jasmine from Aladdin," Lauren said before turning to Lizzie and Ross, "Mommy, I'm gonna go look at Ryan's backpack."

"Okay, you go do that. Bye, sweetie," Lizzie said as Lauren gave both her and Ross a quick hug and kiss before following Ryan towards his cubby to check out his backpack.

"That's like the best pick up line ever," Ross said.

"I know, right. Ryan follows her around and wants to play with her all the time. It's very cute," Lizzie said.

"Hmm, well, Ben," Ross said, looking at his son, "you better step your game up. You got competition."

Lizzie laughed as she and Ross walked out of the classroom. As they walked out of the school and down the street, Ross placed Ben back in his stroller and the two continued to walk together.

"You know, you'll be happy to know that I have an audition today," Lizzie said.

"Good. You're not moving?"

"Not this year but….I don't know."

"I think you should stay."

"I know but I've been here for nine years and I love it but…I grew up in Tulsa. It was fun and I couldn't wait to be in New York because I had all these dreams. I had a boyfriend whom I was convinced I was going to marry. I could not wait to be in the same city as him and when it ended, it broke me and then I found out I was pregnant and Lauren's father vanished, although I did get that visit from his friends. That was terrifying. My life in New York is not how imagined it would be. I wanted so much more."

"I'm sorry," Ross said.

"It's not your fault."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," Ross said.

"I know, thank you."

Ross gave Lizzie a hug before they continued walking. Even though it had begun in secret, there was something so comforting to him about his friendship with Lizzie. He truly felt he could tell her things that he could not tell anyone else.

"I'm really scared for him," Ross said, half whispering. "I can't tell Rachel or Monica that 'cause they'll freak out. They're already scared. Phoebe is angry and I know I keep telling them that he's going to be fine and he won't die because we won't let him but….fuck...I'm really scared for him."

"Me too."

"He has a new girlfriend, actually new old girlfriend. He's dating Janice now. This time I think it's legit or not but he….I'm really terrified. This is a big deal. How is he not seeing it?"

"I think he does see it. He does see it and he knows something is wrong. I saw him at Pub 2 a couple weeks ago, he knows he looks sick but he's-"

"Did he tell you that?"

"I told him he looked really skinny and he said Monica had put him on a diet and took away his carbs."

"She didn't do that."

"I figured."

Ross let that sink in. It made him sad thinking how Chandler was lying and it made him sadder that he couldn't bring it up.

It was stressful, all of it was stressful. He was trying so hard to keep everything up in the air, everything together and it was not easy. School, worrying about Chandler, his two separate groups of friends, Ben, Lauren and then Rachel. His relationship with Rachel which he wanted to keep as stress free as possible but of course that was impossible and Rachel was noticing. He had recently dug into his savings to buy himself a computer and printer so he could start typing out his papers. After seeing an infomercial type thing on television with two actors who looked suspiciously like Rachel and Chandler talking about Microsoft 95, he decided to jump on board and now he was spending most of his evenings typing.

"Ross?"

Ross looked up from the computer, he was surrounded by papers and books as well as a large bottle of excedrin. Rachel walked towards him, wrapped in a blanket and plopped herself down on the couch.

"Hey, Rach. I'm sorry, I-"

"It's almost three o'clock in the morning."

"I know, I know...I-I'm stressed."

"Yeah, I know. Talk to me," Rachel said.

"It's nothing, just….you wouldn't get it."

"Try me," Rachel said.

"Go back to bed," Ross said, looking at her as she stared back at him. He couldn't really tell if she was angry or tired or a little of both. He let out a sigh and got up on the couch. She rearranged the blanket so it covered both of them.

"Okay. I've got two more years of grad school. School has just started and I have three research papers due in about a month and a half. I hate all the dinosaurs-"

"You do not hate all of the dinosaurs," Rachel said, grinning a little.

"I do. I want them dead. I want to bring them all back to life and then kill them," Ross said.

"May 1998," Rachel said, repeating the graduation date.

"Can't come fast enough. Then I've got Ben and I don't see him enough. I want to see him more and Lauren is-well-"

"You know she looks at you like her dad," Rachel said.

"How do you know?"

"You've been the one constant male in her life for six years, right?"

"Yes."

"You're her dad."

"Well, Lizzie might be taking her back to Tulsa next year which will kill me 'cause I don't know what I'll do on Halloween. I take her trick or treating. I think I'll try to bring Ben this year. You can come?" Ross asked.

"It's okay. It's your thing."

"And then Chandler is...well-"

"What?"

"I don't-"

"Are you worried he's gonna-"

"No."

"Ross."

"I don't wanna talk about Chandler with you because I know you're terrified and I know you went through the whole thing with Brian and-"

"Give me some credit, Ross. I'm your girlfriend. We're adults. Tell me what's going on. Are you scared too?"

"Terrified," Ross said, plainly. "I don't wanna lose my best friend. I've worked hard. I refuse to give up on him but-"

"He's not gonna die. You said it yourself."

"Sometimes I don't know if I believe it."

"I believe it. We will all keep him from falling. The five of us are in this together. We are in this and we will be each other's sounding board and keep each other believing and we-we're-if I've learned anything in the two years I've been in this group, it's that there is nothing more powerful than the six of us. We're like a house of cards, we hold each other up."

Ross let that sink in. It made sense, "when did you get to be so wise?"

"Give me some credit Ross. I'm better and smarter than you think I am….you know, even though I'm just a waitress with chubby ankles."

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?"

"Nope."

"Joey was the one who said the chubby ankle thing."

"I don't care."

Ross laughed as Rachel grinned at him. He felt strangely better. Why hadn't he ever confided in her before? Maybe he was nervous? Maybe he wondered if she would get it?

"You know, you never ever tell us anything," Rachel said, "it's almost like you're worse than Monica."

"Oh, no you di-ent," Ross said. That was way too far.

"No, Ross. Seriously, I mean, look...ever since Monica and Richard broke up, us girls have gone to Happy Hours, dinner, we've had many talks with many boxes of Twinkies but you, you have this whole separate life that none of us know about. Friends we've never met-"

"No, I'm still friends with Jonathan. He went to high school with us."

"Okay, Lizzie...your friendship with her is like completely secret. Monica and I have not told anyone. We haven't even told Phoebe because we're pretty sure she'd tell Chandler. It's like you have two lives and I like that you're telling me you're stressed and scared….so then I can destress you."

"How?"

"Well, okay, it's three in the morning. You're not gonna get anything done now. Go to sleep and-"

"I'm too wired, I've had eight cups of coffee in the last three hours."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Now?"

"Yeah," Rachel said, getting up and walking towards Ross' television. He got up as well to turn on the lights as he watched her stand in front of his stack of movies before reaching for one, 'Star Wars: Return of the Jedi'".

"One of my favorites," Ross said.

"I know."

Rachel popped the video in the VHS player and grabbed the remote from the table. He turned off the light as he and Rachel made themselves comfortable on the couch. This was better, Rachel snuggled up with him. She pressed play and soon the movie began and when Leia came on screen in that iconic gold bikini, maybe it was the coffee or the stress but he casually mentioned to Rachel that he thought she would look amazing in that same bikini. She looked at him, her eyes half open.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah."

"Hmmm, good to know," Rachel said.

Ross cocked his head to the side and wanted to say more but instead said nothing at all. He just continued watching as Rachel fell asleep against his chest. He could hear her softly breathing against him.

A few nights later, Ross was once again reading and working on a paper about something having to do with dinosaur bones when he heard Rachel calling him from his bedroom.

"I'll be there in a minute," Ross called back when soon Rachel appeared in his doorway, dressed in the Princess Leia gold bikini costume. His eyes widened as he stared at her.

"Yeah, I thought you'd say that….but I thought maybe you could use a study break."

"Um...a study break? I'm done," Ross said as he stood up and walked towards her, grabbing her and kissing her. She led him into the bedroom and they fell on to the bed, still kissing.

"Are you my...naughty Jedi?" Rachel asked, grinning at him and he let out a laugh at the cheesiness of the line when Rachel gently started to spank him. That giggling turned into a loud moan. This was truly the greatest study break ever. When she stopped spanking him, he pushed her onto the bed and began kissing her even harder.

Those moments between them, the private moments would always be his favorite. It made everything so real between them, he loved those heat filled moments. It filled him with such happiness. He just could imagine being with her forever. This was it, he knew that. He knew Rachel would be his wife, there was no other person for him. Rachel was and would always be his person, his ideal.

When they were done, they lay side by side, him still holding her. She had her head on his chest and let out a moan as he kissed her head.

"I love you, Rach," Ross said.

She looked up at him, smiled and kissed him back, "I love you too."

Lying there with Rachel, he wanted those moments to stay like that. Forever. He wanted to capture those moments and keep them so when he was stressed, he could just simply look back on them and relive them over and over again.

As September turned to October, the stress was still there but Rachel was willing to listen more and more to any complaints he had. He loved that she was becoming his sounding board, between Lizzie and Rachel he was covered. For his twenty seventh birthday, he once again had two dinners which Rachel was surprisingly okay with, She seemed to understand it quite well and even helped him dress up in his costume, he was Superman because Lauren had decided to be Batman or more accurately a Batman Princess because she could not choose. She wore a Batman cape and a tiara. He walked with her to house to house, carrying her bag for candy. Ben was also along for his first Halloween despite Carol and Susan wondering if he was just too young but Ross talked them into it. He had Ben dressed up as a turtle. It truly was one of the things he looked forward to more than anything. There was something so innocent and sweet about just trick-or-treating with Lauren.

After trick-or-treating, he dropped Ben off with Carol and Susan and Lauren off with Lizzie and headed to Central Perk after changing into jeans and a sweater. The end of the night made him feel sad, saying goodbye to Lauren and Ben killed him because the reality hit him. He felt rather gutted walking back into Central Perk to see Rachel and Joey hanging out, drinking coffee. He got his coffee and sat next to Rachel, quickly giving her a kiss.

"Hey, baby," Rachel said.

"Hey, your shift over?"

"Yeah, you have fun trick-or-treating?" Rachel asked.

"You went trick-or-treating?" Joey asked.

Ross shot Rachel a look. Rachel gasped, seemingly realizing the error of her comment.

"Oh, one of Ross' friends from school," Rachel said, "right?"

Nice save, Ross thought to himself before nodding, "yeah, my friend, Ali. She has a little six year old girl. She was a Batman Princess."

"Nice," Rachel said.

"Yeah and I took Ben and he was a turtle. It was fun. But Lauren, that's Ali's daughter's name….she does not share her candy," Ross said.

"Why would she?" Joey asked.

"'Cause she's six, she's not gonna eat it all," Ross said.

"I don't care. She earned the candy. I punched a kid in the face once 'cause he tried to eat one of my Butterfingers," Joey said.

"You know, sometimes I really wanna know about your past but then sometimes I thinking knowing it will make me an accessory to something," Rachel said.

"Just saying, what's the rule that says you have to give up your candy just 'cause you're a kid. Fuck that, you're the one who went door to door asking for the damn candy. It's for the kid. If you want candy, buy your own," Joey argued.

Ross and Rachel exchanged a look as Joey got up and walked towards the counter to get a snack. Ross reached over and grabbed Rachel's hand.

"Thanks," Ross said.

"You're welcome. You know, one day you may have to tell them about Lizzie and Lauren," Rachel said.

"One day. G-d, it kills me though. Saying goodbye to Lauren. Saying goodbye to Ben. I-I want-I-"

"You'll have it. Just don't rush it."

"Maybe you and I will have a kid," Ross said.

"Okay, did you hear how I said don't rush?" Rachel asked.

"Well, it doesn't have to be now."

"Graduate from school and let me get a better job."

"Alright, fine."

Ross gave her another kiss as Rachel shook her head. He couldn't help it. He just wanted to be with her and being with her made him think of the future.

When Chandler and Janice broke up that November, Ross braced himself. He knew the fallout was coming. Monica was a wreck. She had been doing better but now this pushed her close to the edge and Ross wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing. Chandler was completely wasting away.

"An intervention? We need to do one, maybe-"

"He's not ready for one," Ross argued, cutting Monica off. He, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey were in Monica and Rachel's apartment. They had ordered pizza, Joey was setting up movies. Chandler just refused to come over.

"He's too thin. He's on drugs and now with him and Janice broken up…Ross, he needs an intervention," Monica said.

"He's not ready. He'll disappear," Ross said.

"I'm gonna go get him," Phoebe said, "I'll bring a box of pizza to lure him over. I can talk to him."

Phoebe grabbed a pizza box and walked out, leaving Ross and Monica to argue at the kitchen table as Rachel was making the slow death smoothies and Joey was sorting through the movies.

"He's on something," Monica said.

"I know, but we can't-"

"I'll throw out his stuff," Joey said, looking up from the movies.

"What?" Ross asked, remembering Rachel's birthday when Joey had flushed some of Chandler's pills down the toilet but there had so much going on that for some reason it slipped his mind even though Rachel's birthday had only been six months earlier.

"Well, when I lived with my buddy Shane he was hooked on drugs and I just started to flush stuff down the toilet when he wasn't home," Joey said, giving Ross a look.

"How did that work?" Ross asked, remembering Joey telling him this story and he remembered something even more specific: how it ended.

"Well...he died but-"

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"He's not going to die," Ross said.

"I can't-I can't lose him. I just got over Richard and that was hard I can't….if I lose Chandler, I don't know….I just don't wanna lose him. I can't I'm not strong enough," Monica cried as Joey and Rachel immediately joined Ross and Monica at the table. All three began to comfort her as she continued to cry.

"Monica, listen to me," Joey said as he sat next to her, he stared straight at her, "he's not dying."

"Yes he is."

"No, no, he's not. Not on my watch. I'm not burying my brother. Not a chance in hell," Joey said.

"You're very sweet, Joey," Monica said as she hugged him. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll go get him." Monica said.

"He's going to be okay," Rachel said.

"Yeah, we've been through it before, we'll go through it again. We are not going to let him hit the bottom," Ross said.

Monica let out a sigh, got up and walked out of the apartment leaving Ross, Rachel and Joey sitting around the table in silence. Ross really wasn't sure what he was supposed to being saying when Rachel broke the silence.

"I found Brian's body. I can't….I can't find Chandler's and I mean, I never thought I'd say this….but I like Chandler more than Brian. Sorry, Brian," Rachel said.

"He is not going to die," Joey said.

"Joe, how did you find out about your friend?" Rachel asked.

"I came home. I was actually pissed off 'cause he told me he was gonna pick me up from JFK. I had just flown from LAX to JFK and I was waiting at that damn airport for like two and a half hours and I kept calling our place and finally someone picked up and I asked where the hell he was and it was a police officer who asked who I was and I said, I'm Joey, Shane's roommate and they told me to come home. They didn't want to tell me over the phone so I went to our place and there were ambulances and stuff….he was dead."

"I'm sorry. I remember you telling me at that at the Fashion Week After Party."

Apparently, Rachel and Joey had run into each other at a New York Fashion Week After party years ago when she was still hanging out with Brian and was with Barry.

"Yeah, I had um….hooked up with a model who was walking one of the shows and she told me to come so I did," Joey said.

"I don't want him dying. I don't wanna find his body. I want him to get well and I want…." Rachel's voice began to tighten up as Ross and Joey each squeezed one of her hands just as Monica walked back in with a box of pizza and sat with them. "Mon?" Rachel asked, squeezing her hand.

"He's sick and...I just wish he knew, you know, I wish he knew how much we all love him and he doesn't and I know, Rachel, you and Pheebs say that Chandler and I are gonna end up together but I can't….I can't...he's not well."

"I know," Rachel said.

"Alright, I'm gonna make the smoothies...or more of them," Monica said as she got up and walked towards the kitchen. Rachel joined her as Joey began eating some of the pizza and Ross got up to go look through the movies. He kept glancing up at the door and over at his sister and Rachel talking when soon Chandler and Phoebe walked into the apartment. Ross cringed a little at the sight of his friend. He was skeletal looking.

"There you are man, _Hot Dog: The Movie_ is on deck and after.._.Die Hard_," Ross said.

"_The Hot Dog Movie_ and _Die Hard._..whoa, I have the greatest friends ever," Chandler grinned as he and Phoebe walked towards the couch and began to make themselves comfortable. Monica handed two slow death smoothies to Rachel and nodded towards Phoebe and Chandler. Monica watched as Rachel walked towards them and then stop.

"Oh my G-d, Sarah was right," Rachel said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Sarah is my co-worker...at Central Perk," Rachel said.

"Oh, crap...I forgot you work there," Chandler said.

"What? You stole Sarah's shoe?" Joey asked as he walked towards the couch with one of the boxes of pizza. Ross looked up from the movies and at Chandler gripping tightly to a shoe.

"No, he stole Janice's shoe. Sarah called me and said, oh your friend Chandler just broke up with a girl and stole her shoe," Rachel said.

"You stole Janice's shoe?" Ross asked.

"No...they're mine. They make me feel taller...and slender," Chandler tried.

"Oh, honey...give me your drink," Rachel said.

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"I think we need to make yours stronger," Rachel said.

Chandler groaned as he handed Rachel his drink. Rachel gently squeezed his shoulder and gave him a kiss on the head.

"Honey, I think you're the coyote who has run off the cliff tonight," Rachel mused before starting to walk off, Chandler grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait, Rach...can I go back to Central Perk tomorrow?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, honey, of course...you're my friend. They know not to mess with you and if anyone does, let me know and I'll have a little chat with them," Rachel said.

"Thanks," Chandler said as Rachel walked towards the kitchen. Monica shook her head as she walked towards the couch with a tray of drinks.

"Hey, Joey...move, I wanna sit next to Chandler," Monica said as she placed the drinks down and looked at Joey sitting next to Chandler.

"I wanna help out my brother," Joey said.

"Joey, move," Chandler said.

"Thanks, man," Joey said, giving him a smile.

"She's got boobs, she wins," Chandler said.

"Dammit," Joey muttered as he got up and moved towards the big chair while grabbing another slice of pizza and a drink from the tray. Ross was looking through more movies while listening to Monica and Chandler behind him.

"You will find someone amazing. You know that right, You are not going to die alone. I promise you, you're one of the good ones. I swear...your future wife will be the luckiest girl in the world because she got you," Monica whispered.

The exchange made him angry. He knew everyone was freaking out. Everyone wanted to take care of Chandler but he was so reluctant to accept any help. Meanwhile, Ross had his own worries, his own stresses and Chandler was taking up way too much time. It was too much stress and it took every ounce of him to not start screaming at his friend to get his act together.


	32. Chapter 32

**December 1996-April 1997**

He never thought he would see the day. Rachel had been a waitress for two years. That was the only job she could get but now she had a little more experience. She wanted to quit, she had talked about it. She desperately wanted to say she was finished and he knew that. She wanted to get into fashion and even though it is always advisable to not quit your job during the holidays, sitting in Central Perk with Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey, he was watching Rachel do just that. She was telling Gunther while he was training her that she would be leaving in two weeks. When she returned to sit on the couch, color suddenly drained from her face.

"I have two weeks to find a job," Rachel said. Ross placed his arm around her and gently comforted her.

"You know, you-you are still working now," Chandler said. Rachel looked up and glared at him.

"I quit," Rachel said.

"I know but-" Chandler said.

"So, are you going to keep your end of the bargain?" Rachel asked.

"I'm fine, Rachel. I'm gonna go get cake," Chandler said as he got up and walked towards the counter. Ross kissed her. He knew Rachel had tried. She had told Chandler that if she quit, then Chandler would have to give up the boozing and drugs. Ross knew it wouldn't work but he had to give her credit for trying.

"It's not gonna work," Ross whispered.

"Shut up," Rachel said, "Although, fuck….I'm out of a job. I have to interview again. I won't….oh, no, no, no-"

"We will help you with the interview process," Monica said.

"I've gone on tons of job interviews. We will totally help. What are your strengths and weaknesses?" Phoebe asked.

"Uh….well….strengths...I'm a hard worker-"

"Well, 'cause you're sitting with us and practicing your interview skills while you're technically supposed to be working now….I wouldn't open with that," Joey said.

"Really, Joe?" Rachel asked.

"I want cake," Joey got up and immediately went to join Chandler.

"Okay, for strengths...you try, you get along well with people, you know how to communicate. Weaknesses…." Phoebe started.

"I get nauseous and sweat like a fat man in heat during job interviews?" Rachel asked.

"I wouldn't say that," Phoebe said.

"You will get a job and we will help you with the interview," Ross said and he was right. Rachel quickly landed a new job working for some old guy in fashion. Although he knew she didn't love that job either but at least she was in fashion. He was happy for her although as 1997 began, Rachel's career took another turn when she met a guy at the cafe Monica worked out. Some guy named, Mark, who worked at Bloomingdales. He wasn't sure what it was about Mark that pissed him off but he just felt Mark was a little too much. He wanted to talk to Rachel about it at Joey's twenty ninth birthday that January. She had been so happy but he just wanted to explain his feelings but unfortunately, those feelings were put aside as he watched Chandler become more and more wasted. He knew this side of Chandler. It brought back so many awful memories from college. Chandler was not only wasted but high as well, he was not in his right mind. He tried to keep Chandler in line but after he noticed Chandler opening all Joey's birthday gifts, he knew he was failing.

"It's alright man," Joey said when he noticed the pile of open gifts and Ross standing in front of them, staring at Chandler sitting in the pile of gifts.

"It's your birthday."

"Yeah, I know," Joey said. "They're just gifts. It's not like he ate my cake."

"Okay, boys. I gotta go," Chandler said, struggling to stand up. Joey and Ross leaned into help him up.

"Maybe you should lie down," Ross said.

"No, it's my birthday," Chandler slurred.

"It's actually Joey's," Ross said.

"Whatever," Chandler said as he stumbled off. Ross let out a sigh and looked at Joey.

"You still throwing stuff out?" Ross asked.

"Yep, he keeps getting more. Look, relax and have fun. I'm not letting him ruin my birthday," Joey said before walking off.

Ross kept a watch on Chandler as well as Rachel who kept wanting to talk about this job. It was getting a little much. He ended up paying more attention to Rachel and Chandler disappeared by the end of the party. Ross assumed he had just gone to his room to crash and didn't bother checking on him.

The next morning, that proved to be a mistake as he walked out of Rachel's room just as Monica was walking back into the apartment. She looked freaked out.

"Where is he?" Monica asked.

"Who?"

"Chandler."

"He's not in his room?"

"No. No, he's not."

"Fuck," Ross groaned as he walked towards Monica. The brother and sister sat at the dining table, both now worried.

"Where did he go?"

"He's somewhere. He is, he's-"

"He's….he got so wasted last night," Monica said.

"I know."

"This is was what he was like during college, right?"

"Pretty much….he was doing well, I really thought he might have it all under control."

"Me too."

"Hey," Phoebe sat up, and looked over at Ross and Monica from her spot on the couch. She got up and walked towards them, sitting down in between them. "Chandler's disappeared?"

"Yeah," Monica said. "He'll come back."

"He has a problem, doesn't he?" Phoebe asked.

"He does. That's why I always got nervous when you two would go out drinking when you first moved in….especially 'cause I know you can drink and hold your alcohol and I always worried that he was trying to keep up with you."

"I'm sorry, Monica," Phoebe said.

"No, it's not your fault...I want you to have that same image of Chandler that you've had since you've met him," Monica said.

"He got really wasted last night," Phoebe said.

Monica nodded as they continued to sit together and were soon joined by Rachel and later Chandler. Ross watched him as he explained to the others that he had slept with one of Joey's sisters and could not remember which one. Ross looked at him stunned as Monica informed him that Joey would probably kill him. Chandler seemed to brush it off and told them he would take care of things.

Writing a letter was apparently how Chandler was going to take care of it. Later that afternoon, Ross went next door to talk to Chandler and Chandler showed him the letter that he was writing to Joey's sister.

"You can't give this to her," Ross said.

"I won't. You will," Chandler said, leaning against counter.

"I will not...look, man...what are you on?" Ross asked.

"I'm not-"

"Don't lie to me. I was there. I don't wanna go through this again."

"It's all under control," Chandler tried.

"You look like crap and you hooked up with Joey's sister. It's far from being under control and you know it. I lived with you for four years. I know what you look like and what you act like when you're going through it. What are you on?" Ross asked.

"Okay...well, I quit today. I don't wanna hurt Joey...anymore. Rock bottom, right?"

"You're unbelievable man," Ross said, shaking his head.

"I promise...I'll quit. I swear. I need to figure out how to make this better...just...okay, look if you're not gonna help then leave," Chandler said.

"Nope. I'm never leaving. I do have to give you credit though, you're trying real hard to get us to leave...but I'm not going too."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"You need to go down there and talk to Mary Angela. You need to make this right," Ross said after finding out from Joey who the sister was that Chandler had slept with.

Chandler nodded and looked at Ross and for the first time he saw a look of fear in Chandler's eyes.

"I-I know I'm sick," Chandler said.

"You do."

"Yeah but I'll get better. I promise. I will. I don't….just trust me."

"You slept with Joey's sister and….last night you were….this was college all over again."

"I'm gonna get better. Please don't give up yet."

"I'm not going to give up."

"I'll turn things around. I'll talk to Joey's sister."

Ross' heart broke for him. He so desperately wanted to fix him but he felt so helpless. He needed to speak to someone. Anyone so first he tried Lizzie who was taking Lauren to a playdate and then he headed back to Rachel and Monica's apartment to see if he could track down Rachel. The place was empty so he walked next door to see if the girls were over there.

"Mon? Rachel?"

"I'm in here, Ross," Monica yelled.

Ross walked into Chandler's room and looked at her confused. He walked towards her and sat on the bed.

"I was looking for Rachel."

"She's meeting with Mark prep for her Bloomingdales interview."

"It's a Sunday night."

"Ross," Monica said holding up the bottles, "he's really fallen, hasn't he?"

"Yeah...it's Sunday. Why didn't she say it was tonight...this-."

"Ross, let's focus on Chandler."

"There's nothing we can do about that. I talked to him today, he's not ready."

"What are we supposed to do? Wait until he's ready? What if he dies before then? What if...I'm not gonna let him die before he's thirty. I'm not...I'm-"

"I really don't trust this Mark guy. Did they say where they were meeting? Maybe I should go and keep her company," Ross said.

"Leave her alone, you are getting weird and jealous and it's not good," Monica argued.

"Says the woman who is looking under Chandler's bed for drugs."

"That's different."

"Look, the more we come at him, the more we're going to push him away. Now, what did Rachel wear to this date?"

"You are becoming insane," Monica said as she put the pills back in the box and slid it back under Chandler's bed.

When Ross left, he went over to Carol and Susan's to pick up Ben and was still thinking about Rachel and Chandler as well. Everything just seemed to be one big mess and he ultimately ended up unloading everything on Carol who just stared at him and at the end of his rant, then took a deep breath and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, first….we already know Chandler is an addict. Second, why are you acting like a crazy person?"

"She's gonna hook up with Mark," Ross said.

"How do you know?"

"Because they're too close."

"Didn't they just meet?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Ross, you gotta stop. Really. Okay, you have Rachel. This is who you've always dreamt of being with. It's going to be okay."

He wasn't sure he believed it though. He wanted to keep his emotions at bay. He didn't want to think Mark wasn't doing anything more than helping Rachel but he felt like he was on unstable ground.

On the day of Rachel's job interview, he was trying to be supportive. He gave her helpful hints about what to wear but he knew he was not being as helpful as he should be, making more comments about Mark.

"You need to stop," Rachel said.

"What?"

"This job interview is so important to me and you know that. You know how badly I want this and how much I've worked and...I need support. I am not dating Mark and even if he asked me out, I would hope that you trust me enough to say no."

"I trust you, it's Mark-"

"No, no. This is me getting a job I've wanted since forever and I have pushed it back and I have pretended like it was a hobby….I designed my own Bat Mitzvah dress. I designed my prom dress. I want this. I earned this. I want you to support this."

"I do, I support it."

"And I know I should probably be worried about Chandler-"

"Let us be worried about Chandler. Go get the job and then you can worry about Chandler."

"Thanks….he's gonna be okay, right? Joey's sister punched him in face."

"I know. He's gonna be fine. Go get the job. Relax. Talk about trends."

"I hate that question."

Ross smiled as he stood up and walked towards her. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she smiled up at him, taking a deep breath.

"I love you, Rach and I only want good things for you. I know how badly you want this and you'll get it. You can do interviews. You've gotten two jobs from being interviewed-"

"Those were easy and weren't-"

"They were still interviews for jobs you got. You can do interviews. The BCBG one and the Saks one, you weren't ready. You didn't have experience to do those jobs yet. You have the experience to be an assistant. You can assist. You can provide customer service."

"Yeah….yeah, I can," Rachel said.

He would be supportive. He would try. It was what Rachel had always wanted. She wanted to work in fashion and he was doing what he wanted to do so he would be there for her in what she wanted to do even if he hated Mark and when Rachel got the job, he was the one who suggested a celebratory dinner but that dinner was marred by Chandler once again. He was drinking heavily, not really talking and seemed like he wasn't part of the group. Ross noticed Rachel's face fall when Chandler got up to go to the bathroom.

"He's sick," Ross whispered, noticing Rachel's look.

"But-"

"He can't be happy for you, he's too stuck in his disease," Ross said. "Just be happy he's here."

Rachel nodded and got up to go to the bathroom. The rest of the group exchanged looks. Monica let out a long, pained sigh.

"Why won't he let us help him?" Monica asked.

"I'm still throwing shit out," Joey said.

"It's not working Joe," Monica said.

'I don't know how to deal with this," Phoebe said.

Ross looked towards the bathroom and got up to walk towards the bathrooms where he saw Rachel and Chandler hugging. Chandler stepped back and grinned before walking off.

"This is your night," Ross said.

"He's killing himself. Why aren't we doing anything?"

"He's not ready."

"You know...it was a lot easier when I didn't give a shit about him. This is tough."

"I know, but you're not doing this alone and tonight, is about you. You got a job at Bloomingdales. That's pretty cool."

"It is. Oh, G-d. Brian would be proud of me."

"Oh, he would be."

"I am working in fashion. I made it. I actually made it. This is happening for me. I'm gonna be in fashion. Oh, it's gonna be good but Chandler-"

"We'll fix it."

"If he dies-"

"We're not letting him die. Hey, I trusted you….do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then trust me."

Rachel nodded as she and Ross shared a kiss before returning to the table. Chandler remained quiet. When he ordered another margarita and a round of shots for the table, Rachel and Monica both wanted to say something. Ross looked at both of them and shook his head.

"Shots are great," Joey said suddenly.

"We gotta celebrate Rachel," Chandler said.

"I'm okay," Rachel said.

"Let's get some shots," Ross said.

Chandler waved the waiter over and they ordered. When the shots came, they all watched as Chandler drank and the group followed suit.

Things began to change quickly after Rachel started to work at Bloomingdale's. She was always at work, always with that guy Mark. It started to irritate him. He never saw her and he remembered what happened towards the end of his relationship with Carol. Carol would disappear, Carol would leave. It felt like deja vu and he was losing control. He kept trying to hold onto his relationship with Rachel.

"Wait, you sent a Barbershop Quartet?" Jonathan asked over burgers and fries. It was a lunch break and he was with Lizzie, Sam and Jonathan and Ross was telling them about the great lengths he had gone to in order keep Rachel happy or at the very least, let Mark know Rachel had a boyfriend.

"Science Boy is so totally losing his mind," Sam said.

"I am not losing my mind," Ross said.

"Even Lauren's boyfriend wouldn't do that," Lizzie grinned.

"I thought Lauren and Ryan broke up because Ryan took her juice box?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes, but then I talked to Ryan's mom and Ryan's mom bought Lauren a strawberry lemonade which is her favorite and then he let her win during handball so they made up," Lizzie explained.

"I can't keep up with the dramas of first grade," Jonathan said.

"I know, it's intense. I mean, not sending a Barbershop Quartet to your girlfriend's place of employment intense but intense," Lizzie said.

"Mark wants to sleep with her," Ross said.

"Did he say that?" Sam asked.

"He did not have to. He….okay, do you think Ryan would have let Lauren win in handball if he did not like her," Ross said.

"Please do not compare the two, it's creepy," Lizzie said.

"You have to back off, okay, you got Two Face. Two Face and Science Boy are going to have a happy ending," Sam said.

"And also be happy for her. She wanted to be in fashion, right? She's at Bloomingdales. She worked her way from having no experience anywhere to getting a waitress job to getting a job at Bloomingdale's. That's impressive. Although, I do kinda miss her at Central Perk," Lizzie mused.

"You do?" Ross said.

"I was actually there the other day and I got a vanilla latte to go and the waitress gave me a vanilla latte and just….it felt wrong," Lizzie said.

"I know what you mean. Jonathan, remember we were there last week and the waitress not only got our order right but she also gave the correct coffee to the correct person. It felt really weird," Sam said.

"It did. I definitely missed Rachel," Jonathan mused which made Ross laugh a little. Yeah, Rachel would never win any awards in waiting tables.

"You need to calm down. Okay?" Lizzie said.

"Okay, by the end of my marriage, Carol disappeared a lot to with Susan and-"

"Rachel is not a lesbian," Lizzie said.

"Do you think Mark is a lesbian?" Sam asked.

"I think that's it," Jonathan said.

"I am being serious," Ross said.

"I know, that's why this is sad," Lizzie said.

"I don't wanna lose her," Ross said.

"Then knock it off," Lizzie said.

"Maybe you need to move his name down," Jonathan joked which made Lizzie laugh and Ross look confused.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Oh, I have a behavioral chart that mirrors the behavioral chart in Lauren's classroom. Green, yellow and red and if she behaves, she stays in green, if not, she moves down," Lizzie said.

"I think Ross is in red," Jonathan said.

"I think so," Lizzie said.

"I am not, shut up," Ross said.

"Look, Rachel is not Carol and you have wanted her since like as long as I've known you-" Lizzie said.

"Longer. You wanted her in high school," Jonathan said.

"So be good and chill out," Lizzie said.

Ross let out a sigh. He wanted to chill out. He badly wanted to chill out. He tried to be accepting when she had to work late. He kept wanting to just relax but when she had to miss their anniversary dinner that February because of work, he snapped. He knew he shouldn't have gone to her office but he went too far and when he accidentally set fire to her desk, she yelled at him which led to an intense fight where she told him they needed to take a break from each other. His heart sank and his next move would always be his biggest regret.

He went to a bar and began drinking and talking with a girl who worked at the copy shop, Chloe. Chloe was cute, small and he should have said no. He knew it was wrong but he lost Rachel and he knew deep down he was the one who had caused that break up. Chloe danced with him, leaned in close and soon he felt her lips against his. He should have pulled away. He didn't. He let it go on. He kept letting it go and the next morning, he looked over and realized it had gone too far.

"Oh crap," Ross said.

Chloe had to leave and he needed to figure out how to stop the flood of gossip, the line of communication but it did not matter. Rachel found out and the day after their anniversary which should have been something that was filled with happiness was instead filled with tears.

"We were on a break," Ross said as they stood in her apartment. They had been arguing back and forth for hours, crying, yelling.

"So that was an invitation to cheat on me? She was in your apartment….when I was there. What the hell is wrong with you?" Rachel asked, still crying.

"Rach," Ross said, moving towards her, reaching towards her. He grabbed her arm, she moved away.

"No, no….I gave up everything. I gave up old friends, a life...and now...what do….why would you do this? Why would you destroy us?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry...if I thought-I thought we were broken up and-she meant nothing to me. You-you mean everything to me. You've always meant everything to me."

"When I was waitress."

"What?"

"When I was just a waitress, right?"

"No, no...please, you know I'm proud of you."

"I almost lost my job because of you. You set my desk on fire. This means everything to me. You meant everything to me."

"Meant?"

"I never thought….I never thought you would do this. I think you need to leave," Rachel said, whispering.

"No. No, Rach. I can't leave. No, if I leave...then...then what about us?"

"I can't. There's no us."

"Then...what now?"

"I don't know."

"I don't want this to end. This can't end. I'm so sorry, I'm-"

"You're just like the others. You're just like Chip and Barry and Paolo."

"No, I'm not. I'm not like those guys….I love you so much," Ross said, "please-"

"You really have to leave now, please."

Ross walked towards her and grabbed her, held her tightly as she cried. He didn't want this to end. Rachel moved away from him and walked into the bathroom. He was alone in the apartment and soon walked out. He needed to get away. He took a cab to Lizzie's and was happy that she let him in. He was crying as she opened the door.

"Do you have a clue what time it is? It's after two in the morning, it's-" Lizzie asked, in her pajamas. He had woken her up.

"I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. She dumped me. I-"

"Come on in," Lizzie ushered him in and he walked towards the couch. She walked towards the kitchen and brought a bottle of wine and two glasses. After pouring a couple glasses, they made themselves comfortable.

"I-I fucked up," Ross said. "She said we should take a break and then...the...stupid copy girl."

"Copy girl?"

"She's not stupid, I'm stupid. It meant nothing. It was-"

"Ross, did you sleep with the copy girl?"

"We were on a break. Rachel and I and I-"

"You cheated on Rachel?"

"We were on a break and….and…it was like what you did. You cheated on Chandler and-and-"

"Don't even compare the two and hey, let me ask you something, enough time has passed, when you had that layover in Amsterdam on your way to Israel, did he or did he not cheat on me with a prostitute working in a brothel in the Red Light District?"

"He did….but-"

"What I did to Chandler and what he did to me was nothing compared to this. Why were you so jealous? Why did she even want a break in the first place?" Lizzie asked.

"I surprised her on our anniversary."

"Okay?"

"At her office."

"And?"

"She was busy and I may or may not have set her desk on fire. Accidentally."

"What is wrong with you?" Lizzie asked.

"But it was our anniversary," Ross said.

"So what? You could have celebrated it later. Give her a chance to have a job," Lizzie said.

"I lost her. I want her back," Ross said, tears in his eyes. Lizzie let out a sigh and leaned in to give him a hug. He cried as she hugged him. He knew it was his fault. He had destroyed everything. Lizzie had offered him the couch but he figured he should go home. He wanted to be alone for a little bit. He would come over the next day.

Early the next morning, he was awoken by a knock at his door. He figured it was Lizzie and Lauren coming over for breakfast but was a little shocked to see Joey and Chandler who looked like crap.

"What are you doing here?" Ross asked.

"Monica sent us over to take care of you," Joey said.

"I need a drink," Chandler groaned.

"Are you hungover?" Ross said.

"Yes, see me, Mon, Chandler and Pheebs were holed up in Monica's room while you and Rachel were breaking up last night and we were there so long that Chandler started to go through withdrawals," Joey said.

"I found booze in my room, bitches, but I drank it all," Chandler said, "I feel like shit."

"Take him to my room," Ross said as Joey helped Chandler into Ross' room. He shut the door behind him and sat next to Ross on the couch.

"I told him I was flushing his pills and he tried to punch me in the face," Joey said.

"Are you joking?"

"Nope and I guess he found some booze in his room and drank because when I got him this morning, he was passed out so I practically carried him out."

"G-d," Ross said.

"How are you doing man?"

"Not good."

"Look, it'll be okay."

"I lost Rachel. She's….I'm…."

Ross and Joey sat silently, Ross not quite sure what he wanted to say. Soon though, that silence was interrupted by a knock and Monica arriving at his place, furious.

"Where's Chandler?" Monica asked.

"He's my room, sleeping off a hangover," Ross said.

"What? When did he-"

"In his room, alone...after I had gone to bed," Joey said.

"I thought you were related to the Sopranos?" Monica asked.

"Wait, what?" Ross asked, confused.

"Joey, go check on Chandler and make sure he's not dead, I cannot be near him right now or I will whack him," Monica said.

"On it," Joey said as he walked back towards Ross' bedroom, walked in and shut the door behind him.

"Joey's related to the Sopranos?" Ross asked. "The mob?"

"I'm going to kill you. I am actually going to kill you. You cheated on Rachel."

"We were on break."

"I don't give a fuck. She is my roommate and my best friend, you are my brother. Chandler got drunk in his room alone and is now sleeping off a hangover. Make my life easier, please."

"We were on a break and you know what...she called the break because-"

"Because you were driving her insane. Ross, you showed up at her work and set fire to her desk, she had every right to be pissed off. If we had done that to you, you would have been furious. Why is what she does so unimportant to you? Were you happier when she was a waitress and miserable? She's good at this, she's always been good at this! She was working retail at thirteen, fourteen years old. She liked it!"

"She allowed the store to get robbed," Ross said although not sure that was the best argument.

"Yeah, by a five foot eight blonde homeless chick. Not the point, by the way."

"No, I wasn't happy that she was miserable as a waitress. Of course not."

"When she was a waitress, she had all the time in the world for you."

"That's not it."

"Then what was it?"

"She's not the Rachel…..well, she's changed. She's become-"

"Nicer. Ross, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Who did you fall for? Because let me tell you, she was no angel. She was awful and...there was a secret contract, I wasn't allowed to be her friend in public. She would say horrible things about other people. Chandler, Phoebe…..oh, you should have heard the things she said about the two of them before she actually really got to be friends with them. She was not a nice person. She got a stranger at the time so pissed off at her that he covered her car with peanut butter."

"I fell for Rachel."

"You fell for a fantasy. You didn't fall for Rachel. 'Cause if you had, you wouldn't have done this and now this is going to be very awkward because what are we supposed to do now? Am I supposed to kick Rachel out? Am I supposed to stop talking to you? What am I supposed to do? What about Phoebe and Joey and Chandler, what are they supposed to do? If this had been four years ago, I'm sure Chandler and Phoebe would have been fine with cutting Rachel out of their lives….but I'm not sure they're willing to do that now."

Ross let out a sigh as he put his head in his hands as Monica gently rubbed his back. He looked at her.

"I lost her."

"You did," Monica said. "You have no idea who Rachel is, Ross. You have this….this idea of her, this fantasy. Do you know what her fears are? What her dream is? Do you really know her...see her? I mean, see her for who she really is? I mean, you guys make fun of Chandler and I and say how we should get together….and I push back because for as funny and as smart and as kind hearted as he is….I see someone who is broken and instead of banding together to get him help, we're doing this. You could have gotten Rachel fired, Ross. Think about that….what you did and how little regard you have for what she's doing, she could have been fired."

Ross kept staring at her as Monica let out another sigh and looked at the closed door.

"Mon."

"I have to go check on Rachel now. Make sure Chandler is okay and please don't have him drink anymore," Monica said before getting up and walking out, back to her home. Ross looked at the closed door and got up, walking into his bedroom. Chandler was lying there, Joey next to him.

"Have you had enough?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, what did you and Monica talk about last night when you went to the roof?" Joey asked.

"Nothing. Look, you guys don't get it...I am fine."

"I can't deal with this right now," Ross said as he walked out. Chandler could drink himself into oblivion, he had destroyed his relationship and it was killing him to think that.

The next couple of weeks were so rough. He barely spoke to Rachel except to fight with her and when Rachel, Joey, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe decided to spend a weekend up in Rachel's sister's cabin, he knew he would not be invited and had decided to spend the entire weekend with Ben and Lauren and Lizzie. He would just sit around and play and get his mind off Rachel. That idea though was quickly put to an end when the phone rang and he was stunned to hear Rachel's voice on the other end.

"Hello?" He asked, there was silence on the other end and he was about to hang up when her heard her voice.

"Ross, it's me. So, Chandler is going through withdrawals 'cause Phoebe threw out his pills and….he was….well, Monica is helping him but well, you and Mon have been through this before and I think you should come so Mon isn't the only one in charge."

"Really?"

"Ross….I want him to be okay."

"He will be. You want me to come up there?"

"Yeah. For him, not me."

"I know," Ross said.

"Are we going to be okay? I know...I'm still mad but eventually….I still want us to be friends. I don't want to lose you."

"You're never gonna lose me and I am-I'm sorry. I was….it...I'm very sorry."

"I know. I can't believe you set fire to my desk."

"I'm glad you're working at Bloomingdales. You're in fashion. It's what you want," Ross said.

"Thank you."

"I'll be there after I spend the day with Ben."

"Okay."

"In the meantime, watch _Spaceballs_ and _Airplane_ and _Weekend at Bernie's_ and everything else with him and keep him alive," Ross said.

"I didn't bring the movies."

"He did."

"Ross."

"Check his bag."

Ross could hear Rachel place the phone down and he waited until he heard her pick up the phone again.

"How the hell do you know these things?" Rachel asked.

"I know my friends."

"I still hate you right now."

"I know you do….but I know it's temporary."

"Shut up.

Ross hung up and slowly smiled to himself. Things were going to be okay. He would work things out with Rachel, Chandler would be okay. Hopefully, things would move in the right direction. After spending time with Ben, he drove up to the cabin and was quickly filled in on what happened. He walked towards the bathroom to see Chandler curled up on the floor, puking. Phoebe was sitting with him.

"Hey, buddy."

"Hey...you came," Chandler said.

"Yeah, Pheebs, can I talk to him for a moment?" Ross asked.

"Sure. I threw out his last bottle," Phoebe said, standing up. She hugged Ross before walking out. Ross sat down on the bathroom floor.

"So I brought you and Rachel back together," Chandler said.

"What is wrong with you?" Ross asked.

"I'm okay. I'm not gonna take any more drugs. I'm clean. I promise, that's it."

"Is it really it or is it...it….'cause you have no more drugs to take?" Ross asked.

"It's it. Look, I know I look sick. I'm gonna get better. How are you?"

"Ehhh," Ross said as Chandler leaned towards the toilet and threw up. Ross remained seated. He would help out. They would all help out.

The last night of their camping trip, Chandler was feeling better and the six of them actually sat together. It was awkward because the six of them had not eaten together in weeks.

"Hey...can I say something," Chandler said as he picked up his water glass. The group looked at him. "Um….I know it's been rough but um….I'm glad you guys are here and you helped me through this. Thank you."

The group exchanged looks as they clicked their glasses together and continued eating. Monica had made macaroni and cheese. Rachel kept poking at it, eating it slowly. It was getting awkward and Ross wanted things to be the way they were.

"So, Joe," Ross began, "is true you have mob ties?"

Ross looked over at Monica who was grinning at him. They were a group, Rachel had even said it once. Nothing was more powerful than the six of them.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked.

Joey grinned, "Hey, I had friends before you guys. I may or may not know some people."

"You used to work in construction. Oh, was that a front?" Phoebe asked.

"Did you ever whack people?" Chandler asked.

"Could you whack us?" Ross asked.

"Do you know what that means?" Joey asked. "And I never whacked anyone….I just...I may have some relatives who are in, you know, the...what they call the sanitation business. If you know what I mean."

"Whoa…." Phoebe said.

"Wait, but...if you're really a mobster," Chandler said.

"I'm not a mobster," Joey tried.

"Yeah, if you are….how come your sister had to hit me and not you," Chandler said.

""Cause I'd break you in half," Joey said.

"Oh, yeah, yeah….oh, well-" Chandler said.

"You really wanna try me, Bing?" Joey asked.

"No," Chandler said.

Everyone began asking questions and soon the awkwardness was melting away and the six were coming back together and that was the most important thing. They were still a group, they would still hold onto each other.


	33. Chapter 33

**April 1997-October 1997**

Despite the camping trip, it was still awkward between Rachel and Ross. He still tried to be nice, tried to get back on her good side but nothing worked and she seemed to be moving on so Ross continued to try and do work and by April, he got an amazing opportunity, one that was not given to grad students but he was asked to go on the Discovery Channel to talk about bones. He was absolutely thrilled but then Rachel needed him, he changed his plans. She had cracked a rib, thanks to Monica. Monica had crashed into her on roller skates and Rachel was in pain. Ross helped her, he took her to the hospital, spent the entire evening with her and it wasn't until after the ordeal and he had missed his chance to be on television that Rachel had found out what he had missed but instead of being grateful, she seemed upset.

"Ross," Rachel said as they stood, facing each other in her apartment. He stared at the floor as she walked towards him.

"It's fine."

"Why...but-"

"You needed me," Ross said. "Look, I should go."

"No, no, please….let's talk."

"I wanna go home."

"I wanna talk, please," Rachel said. "We need to talk."

Rachel pointed towards the balcony. Ross nodded. Monica and Chandler had the roof for their private talks, they seemed to have the balcony. The two stepped out onto the balcony and sat at the table Monica had set up because she felt that with it getting warmer, there needed to be a table and chairs out there for dining.

"You needed me," Ross said, matter of factly. Rachel let out a snort as she shook her head.

"You know….you make it hard for me to hate you."

"I know."

"You're always there when I need you. Always there when I need help."

"'Cause...well, why wouldn't I be?" Ross said.

"Ross, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When I got in trouble after Olivia's was robbed, you were there to comfort me. When you thought I wasn't going to have a date for my prom, you were going to take me. When I slashed Chandler's tires, you covered for me. When I went to the hospital to see Monica after she fainted, you were there. Before and after I ran out on my wedding, you were always there. You've been there when I was struggling, when I was lost, when I was sad…..but when I got my dream career, when I was no longer sad or struggling….you acted like a crazy, jealous person. Do you only like me if I'm struggling?"

"Of course not," Ross said, finding that to be a ridiculous question.

"That's what it feels like."

"No, no...you needed my help tonight so-"

"So you were there."

"Rachel, no….I am so proud of you and what you've accomplished already. I am still sorry. I am. I don't...you've changed and it's good, it's fantastic….it's the new you."

"I want us to be okay."

"We will be. I know I get weird around you. I like you so much and I don't….I don't know how to act normal with you."

"Then maybe that's why we shouldn't be together. You know, I look at Monica and Chandler and I know they're not a couple yet even though we're convinced they will be but….I'm jealous looking at what they have. They have friendship and we have intensity and drama and we're closing in on thirty and I want friendship."

"You've got friendship."

"Okay...well, does our bet still stand?"

"Oh, yes but….since you are now a career woman, I say we raise the stakes."

"How so?"

"Well, let's make it two hundred dollars Monica and Chandler get together in '99."

"1998, I'm still on 1998. I mean, Pete is awesome but they're getting a little closer," Rachel said. His sister was now dating some millionaire guy.

"Deal….and don't be jealous of Monica and Chandler. What we have is so much better."

"How? You cheated on me."

"We were on a break."

"Bite me."

"We are better. I mean, Chandler has addiction problems and Monica's a nut," Ross said, grinning.

"True."

"By the way, Chandler told me what you had for lunch. If the drugs and alcohol don't kill him, are you thinking clogging his arteries will be a better solution?"

"He needs to gain weight."

"I agree."

"Do you think this is the last time he'll do this?" Rachel asked.

"Nope," Ross said. The more he thought about it, the more he was thinking Chandler was not going to stop.

"You don't?"

"I don't. I think he quit this time because Phoebe got rid of his last bottle…I don't think it's the last time we're gonna go through it."

"How do you know this?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause I'm annoying like that."

"You really are."

"I didn't like you because I thought you needed help," Ross said.

"What?"

"I liked you because….you're you."

"Thank you….well, I am sorry about the Discovery Channel."

"You should be…..that could have been my big break."

"For what?"

"For….things."

"What things?" Rachel asked.

"You don't know."

"Were you going to wear the fried chicken outfit?"

"That was a classy outfit," Ross argued.

"If you're Colonel Sanders."

"It was sophisticated and sexy….chicks and chickens would have loved me."

"You keep telling yourself that but the next time you go on TV, tell me and I will take shopping."

"I don't want to go shopping with you."

"Why not?"

"'Cause it's boring."

"Oh and dinosaur lectures are just a thrill."

"Yes."

Rachel laughed as the two continued talk out on the balcony. They talked for hours and by the end of the evening, it almost felt like they were back to being friends. It was good, a friendship was a good start. Although, he secretly wasn't completely ready to give up on Rachel completely. Maybe at some point, they would get back together. Maybe they would work it out. He wouldn't give up hope yet.

He was surprised when Phoebe had suggested a date with her friend Bonnie. He and Phoebe were as different as could be but he had always found her past kind of interesting. He found her interesting and while they never really hung out just the two of them and he knew she was far closer to Chandler and Joey then she was to him, it was always nice when he got a moment to hang out with her.

"You really think I should go out with Bonnie? I don't know. What's wrong with her?" Ross asked, half joking. He and Phoebe were sharing the orange couch at Central Perk, waiting for the others.

"Nothing. Why do you think because she's a friend of mine, there's something wrong with her? I'm friends with you and….oh, I see...I get what you're saying," Phoebe said.

His favorite thing about Phoebe was how easily she could play back. It was probably why she got along so well with Chandler and Joey. Unlike Monica and Rachel, Phoebe did not get offended all that easily and could give as good as she got. He also got the feeling that despite her lack of education, despite her ditziness at times, Phoebe was smarter than all of them. He wouldn't admit it but sometimes when he spoke to her, he noticed small flashes of brilliance.

"Touche but what is wrong with Bonnie? I mean, can I not take her to dinner 'cause she's on a hunger strike protesting the cruel treatment of….latex," Ross said.

"Is latex treated cruelly?" Phoebe said.

"Well, it snaps easily," Ross said.

"Bite me, nothing is wrong with her."

"Okay, so does she only eat granola or….dirt."

"You can actually take her to a nice steak dinner and gorge yourselves on the corpses of innocent cows," Phoebe said.

"Nice. Have I met Bonnie? But like for real, not like in a dream you once had?" Ross asked.

"Yes you have. Remember my birthday party a couple years ago? She wore the tank top with no bra and you, Joey and Chandler were super classy and were taking bets with each other on when she would pop out of her shirt?" Phoebe asked, grinning.

"Oh, yeah….that was a fun night," Ross said before remembering something important, "she was bald. You wanna set me up with a bald girl."

"She's no longer bald. She has hair and she eats meat and-oh-and she loves to have sex."

"My dream girl," Ross said, "but Pheebs, I don't know. Rachel is okay with it?"

"She said she was okay with it."

"Is she okay with it because she thinks Bonnie is bald?"

"Quite possibly."

"Figured. Rachel and I just broke like three months ago and I don't-we just started being friends and-and-why do you-weren't you the one who said Rachel and I were each other's lobsters."

"Yes, but clearly you aren't at the moment but maybe-maybe you just should move on a little. Maybe getting out there and maybe it'll lead to something or maybe it'll be a rebound but you should go and at least try."

"I don't know. There's really nothing wrong with her."

"No."

"Then why me? Why not Chandler or Joey?"

"Well, Chandler's getting better. It's only been two months and I don't wanna add pressure to him and Joey probably would just sleep with her and she thought you were cute and at my party, of the three of you….you were actually the nicest. She thought you were the sweetest."

"Of the three of us? I always thought that would be Chandler."

"Me too, I was just as stunned as you are."

"I'll go out with her," Ross said.

He hadn't done that in a long time, going out with someone who was not Rachel. Bonnie seemed sweet and she was cute. He was definitely happy she was not bald and she was fun. A lot of fun. He laughed a lot with her as they ate steak and drank through several bottles of wine.

"Alright, Pheebs is great," Ross said, holding up his glass of wine.

"She's amazing. Have you ever met anyone that blindly optimistic? How great?"

"True, but she's got some edge and it is awesome she survived."

"I know, right. She's been through some crazy shit," Bonnie said.

"Like what?"

"Don't you know?"

"I know she was married and-"

"Duncan's an ass."

"Well, yeah."

"But you know about Vegas, right?"

"No."

"How do you….oh, you have to know about her twenty first birthday in Vegas. That is legendary."

"I need to know more about my friend."

"Clearly. So, what's your story Ross?" Bonnie asked.

"My story?"

"Yeah."

"What has Phoebe has told you about me?" Ross asked.

"Well, you're sweet and you have a son-"

"Yeah, he's gonna be two in a few weeks."

"Awww and you just got out of a relationship with Rachel."

"Broke up in February."

"Sorry."

"That's alright. Not your fault," Ross said.

"Yeah, she said it was yours," Bonnie grinned.

"'Cause she's friends with Rachel."

"She also said sometimes you kinda have a stick up your ass."

Ross laughed and shook his head, only Phoebe could get away with that.

"Oh, Pheebs. In her honor, I will bring her a steak."

"You know what's amazing? She was homeless for ten years and yet still managed to remain a vegetarian. Like if someone gave her a chicken sandwich or something, she'd take out the chicken and eat the rest of the sandwich."

"That's dedication. So were you homeless or-"

"No, I grew up in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I have an identical twin sister, Melody and Melody and I used to work at the Bar None Dude Ranch and were lifeguards."

"Did Melody shave her head too?"

"No, she did not. But that's kinda how Phoebe and I are friends. Except Melody and I are super close."

"Oh, yeah...we hate Ursula."

"Oh, we hate Ursula. She's the worst. So Melody and I wanted to try out for the Olympic swim team but we didn't make it."

"That sucks."

"It's fine. We're both over it."

He was surprised at how much he actually liked Bonnie. She was fun and laid back. He could see why she and Phoebe were friends. She was just so easy going and he liked her and he really did not want to like anyone after Rachel. He was enjoying spending time with her, so much so that he began inviting her to things like Ben's second birthday and the beach trip later that month. Finals were over and with one year left of grad school, the idea of a mini vacation sounded amazing. One of Phoebe's clients had lent her his beach house for the weekend and they decided to take advantage of it.

Maybe it was the saltwater or the margaritas that Rachel and Monica kept making but there was a lot of flirting going on in that beach house. Monica and Chandler kept messing around each other. Chandler was back to his playful, silly self so he spent every second he could trying to crack Monica up which Ross found amusing. Then there was Phoebe who was off trying to get information from a woman who was friends with her mom and Joey who just flirted with everyone and there was Rachel. Bonnie had decided to meet them later because she had to work and being alone with Rachel felt a little dangerous, especially the more they drank. It felt like they were finally coming back together, that pull between them being way too strong and before the weekend was over, Ross decided to give things with Rachel another shot and bid farewell to Bonnie

And then it was over, that brief moment of happiness that he and Rachel were back together was dashed by a stupid letter. Rachel wanted him to take full responsibility and he disagreed. It wasn't all his fault. They were on a break and Rachel could have taken some of the blame. The letter was ridiculous and before anything could even be rekindled, it exploded.

A few days after their fight, he had heard that Rachel would be spending the evening alone. When he heard from Chandler that he was taking Monica out to dinner, Ross knew he had to talk to Rachel so he picked up some Chinese food and the two sat on the balcony, talking over wine and noodles.

"Happy almost birthday," Ross said as he ate some chow mein from a white cardboard box.

"Thanks."

"Look...about what happened-"

"We were not on a break," Rachel said.

"You said that we should take a break from us," Ross said.

"Not break up. Just a break….from us….I'm not arguing about this again and okay, besides even if you thought we were legitimately broken up, you slept with another woman like what, an hour later? That's the bottom line. That it what is pissing me off. You're a cheater."

"I am not a cheater," Ross said, that label seemed unfair.

"You cheated on Julie and Bonnie and-"

"I cheated on Julie and Bonnie with you."

"And Bonnie is a friend of Phoebe's. That's where Phoebe is tonight, she's taking care of her friend who is hurt by….us. Oh, G-d…..what the hell is wrong with us?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. Is Bonnie really hurt?" Ross asked, he didn't think they were that serious.

"Phoebe said she was. It's just….should we be together or should we not? I love you, Ross….I do but-"

"I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything," Rachel said.

"I don't know everything….just ninety eight percent of things."

"Mmmmm."

Rachel's words upset him. Did she really think he was a cheater? He had really thought they had broken up but he was also upset and maybe she was right, he should have checked things first?

"Am I really a cheater? I don't….I do owe Bonnie an apology."

"So do I," Rachel said.

Ross started to feel like crap. He had hurt Bonnie, he hated that. He hurt Rachel, he hated that as well. He hurt Julie. When did this all become so ridiculously complicated?

"You're not a bad guy," Rachel said reaching towards his hand.

"Thanks….and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I slept with the copy girl. I'm sorry I didn't wait and I acted on impulse….I'm sorry."

"I know."

Ross let out a sigh as he continued eating. The two sat in silence as they ate and continued to eat. Ross wasn't sure what else they could say or if it was an appropriate time to move on to another topic but he did kinda want to make fun of his sister and best friend. It was one of his favorite things to do and Rachel was his favorite person to do that with.

"So what do you think Monica and Chandler are discussing on their date?" Ross asked, grinning at her. Her mouth dropped and he knew he had done the right thing.

"I know. They're eating jellyfish rolls and….he said he wanted to take her out because of the jellyfish sting," Rachel said.

"I can't believe he peed on her," Ross said.

"Do you think they've kissed yet?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. I don't wanna think about that."

"They are on a date. What the hell? Why are they so stupid?"

"That's a whole other conversation."

"I guess you and I are stupid too. Maybe the only smart ones are Phoebe and Joey."

"I wouldn't go that far," Ross said.

Rachel laughed as they sat, staring out into the darkness of New York. He kept looking at her and he knew her opinion of him had changed drastically. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing but he knew his opinion of her had changed as well.

"You know, I'm proud of you, Rach. I know I fucked up but I am really proud of what you've accomplished. What you've done. You're amazing and I-"

"Remember Two Face and Science Boy?"

Ross was a little taken aback by that. Where had that come from?

"Of course."

"I'm Two Face, right?"

"No."

"Ross?"

"Okay...well, yeah but it's not meant-Jonathan and I came up with the name in high school. 'Cause with Nancy and Sharon and Mindy, you were kinda mean but with Monica and I, you were sweet and well...how you are now. You had two different sides of you and-"

"How does it end? For Science Boy and Two Face? Do they get together in the end?"

"You know, I don't think we ever wrote the ending. How do you think it should end?"

"Happily," Rachel said, "whatever that ends up being. Happily."

Ross wanted that too, but he wished he knew what "happily" meant for himself and Rachel.

The relaxation of summer soon quickly turned to fall and Ross' realization that it was his last year of grad school could not have made him happier. Yes, he missed Bonnie and things with Rachel had just settled on friendship but he was in his final year. May 1998. That would be the graduation date. The final end. He would be Ross Geller, PhD. He had contemplated getting that on a hat. The year brought more good news when one of his professors and also the hiring manager of the Natural History Museum called him into his office to discuss important matters. That important matter would change everything. While he did have a job at the museum while he was attending school, he still wasn't sure that job would be there for him when he graduated. The job paid for grad school and paid him as well, so when May 1998 arrived, he wasn't quite sure what that would mean for employment. Turned out, he did not need to worry at all. His professor offered him a full time job upon completion of the program. So he would essentially graduate on a Friday and start work on a Monday, or something like that.

"So essentially, you're set," Lizzie said a few days later over breakfast. They had just dropped Lauren off at her first day of second grade and were grabbing some coffee and breakfast.

"Yes. May 1998. Are you coming to my graduation? I'm throwing myself a party."

"We will see."

"You see Chandler at Pub 2."

"I do and he looks really hot by the way."

"He is dreamy, come on."

"Let's wait until May, please."

"Fine. Lauren is in second grade. She's seriously becoming her own little person."

"I know."

"And that kid, Ryan, he's still…."

"He still loves Lauren," Lizzie said, "I'm telling you, Ryan's mom and I have this all figured out."

"She's going to marry Ben."

"Actually, she told me she thought Jonathan Taylor Thomas was cute," Lizzie grinned.

"The kid from Home Improvement?"

"Yeah."

"Awwww," Ross said.

"So how are you doing?"

"Good. Good, I mean, I feel bad about Bonnie. I really do but-and Rachel and I are friends. Maybe I need to just be single."

"It's not a bad thing."

"No. I can't believe I'm almost done."

Ross was giddy about this. He could actually see the end of grad school. The end of all nighters and typing until his eyes glazed over. He was just happy. The end was truly in sight.

That first semester of school was busy though both professionally and personally. For his twenty eighth birthday, he still did the two birthday parties thing. He was happy to do that. Two birthday parties. It was fine by him and of course that Halloween, he took Lauren trick-or-treating with Ben. Lauren was dressed as a princess and Ben was a giant pea so that they were, 'the Princess and the Pea'. He was dressed as a Prince.

"So, how's your boyfriend, Ryan," Ross teased as the trio left another house and headed to another home to get some more candy.

"Ewww," Lauren said.

"What?"

"I don't like Ryan anymore."

"Why not?"

"'Cause he keeps getting me into trouble. He stole my brownie and I hit him."

"Why?"

"'Cause he stole my brownie and then he said I had no dad."

"That's ridiculous. You have a father."

"Not like Rebecca's daddy, he fixes people's teeth and Haley's daddy sells houses to people and Ryan's dad, he works in an office and yells a lot, that's what Ryan says. So what does my dad do?"

"Well, remember when I said he's with Aladdin."

"Ross, I'm not a baby anymore. I'm seven."

"I know."

"So, where did my dad go?" Lauren asked

"Okay, well, first I'm sorry Ryan was mean but your dad...he's famous."

"Ross."

"No, no...he's a spy for the government and he fights crime. He saves the world."

"Like Batman?" Lauren asked.

"Exactly."

Ross looked at Lauren who seemed to be absorbing what he was saying although he wasn't sure how much she bought it.

"Ross, will you take me trick or treating for the rest of my life?" Lauren asked.

"I promise and don't worry, you're surrounded by grown ups who love you and your dad...he's out there, saving the world and when he comes back, then he'll tell you all about his adventures."

"Oh...you know, I don't wanna hear about his adventures, I don't think. I don't know if I wanna hear about them."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I wasn't invited," Lauren said.

Ross didn't know how to respond to that, "let's just get candy and we'll get more candy than Ryan or Haley or Rebecca."

Lauren nodded and reached up to grab Ross' hand. He walked with her, while still holding Ben, to house after house. It pained him when he heard her talk. He wished he could actually track down her dad. Show him what he was missing…

Later that night, Ross and Lizzie were gorging on Lauren's candy while Lauren slept and Ben was sleeping soundly in a carrier next to him. He was telling Lizzie all about the conversation he had had with Lauren.

"See, it breaks my heart. She's asking more and more questions and I knew the time would come and I was just hoping it would be when she was forty."

"Can you tell me? What's his name? Maybe we can track him down. Do you think he knows he has a kid?"

"I can't tell you the name, Ross. He's-well, I didn't think it at the time but he's got friends and I'm telling you those friends came into my dorm and-and they-there was a gun-"

"Excuse me?"

"I kept calling him over and over again and he said to his friends, take care of it and they did and I don't know if he meant for them to take care of it in that way because he seemed so sweet and above all of that but...but-"

"There was a gun?"

"His friends had guns or-I don't-it was-I don't wanna track him down because I don't know what would happen or if he's still friends with those people," Lizzie said, tears now streaming down her face, "and I've seen him around and I know he lives around here but I can't approach him and I-I can't."

"We can call the police?"

"Why? To tell them I was held at gunpoint seven years and nine months ago. No, just...and that's one of the reasons I wanna move back to Tulsa. My family is there and I know he's here but-."

"I'll be here for her. I will take her trick or treating until she is eighty five years old."

"Very sweet but...my parents live in Tulsa, my sister and her family. I need-I'm-"

"I still say we could date," Ross said.

"We've already done that."

"We didn't date. We just...had fun."

"Yeah but….I-I can't be someone's second choice."

"What?"

"Come on."

"I'm not with Rachel anymore."

"I rest my case," Lizzie said. "Eventually you will get back together with Rachel. I don't wanna be another casualty in the Ross-Rachel drama."

"Okay, I understand."

Lizzie smiled as she ripped open a bag of M&amp;M's. Ross grinned back and stayed there for a bit longer before taking Ben home. When he entered his apartment, he placed Ben is his bed and sat near him as he slept. He made a promise to Ben as well, he would never leave just as he made the promise to Lauren, he would remain in Ben's life. He would make a greater effort. It would kill him to know someone else was being a father to Ben. He couldn't imagine Lauren's dad and knew he just never wanted to be that.


	34. Chapter 34

**November 1997-January 1998**

He hadn't really been paying attention to what had been happening with Joey and Chandler. With papers and trying to be a dad, he was a little preoccupied. It wasn't until Joey showed up at his apartment, pissed off and ready to punch Chandler in the face when he heard the whole story. Joey had been dating a girl named, Kathy and then Chandler had kissed her. He had made out with her and this had all been done while sober which pissed Joey even more. Ross watched, slightly nervous, as Joey paced, his fists in tight balls. Ross wasn't sure if he should start moving his valuables or what.

"That fucking piece of-if he even knew how fuck-I would have stepped out of the way, if he had said, 'hey, man I wanna sleep with Kathy,' I would have been like, 'yeah, sure' but fuck….and he was sober. He was clean. After every fucking thing….fuck-"

"Joe, can you sit. You're making me nervous."

"I'm not gonna punch you in the face, Ross. I'm here so I don't punch Chandler in the face. How-why-the fuck is he so self destructive? We helped-he…."

"I don't know," Ross said.

"He hooked up with my girlfriend."

"I know. Look, I'll talk to him, okay."

"He has...first he hooks up with my sister but he was sick and I brushed it off and I...I talked to my sister but this….this is too far."

"I know."

Joey's ranting was interrupted byva knock at the door. Ross looked at it and walked towards it, looking in the peephole and opening it to Chandler.

"Hey, is Joey-"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Joey asked, "you want me to punch you in the face, because I will punch you in the face."

"Joey, go to my room," Ross said. Joey let out a snort as he glared at Chandler before he walked into Ross' room and slammed the door shut behind him. Ross then turned to Chandler and without thinking, shoved Chandler out the door. Chandler looked stunned, as did Ross. Ross had never hit anyone or shoved anyone in his life but in that moment, he really wanted to punch Chandler.

"Dude," Chandler said.

"What is wrong with you? Did you really make out with Joey's girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

Ross shoved him again. Chandler looked at him, his eyebrows raised. Chandler was now backed up against the wall in Ross' hallway.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ross asked.

"I don't know."

"You were clean, right? And sober?" Ross said.

"Yes," Chandler said and Ross shoved him again. "Can you stop that?"

"Look, I know you liked this girl but….and if you had talked to Joey...I mean, why...I don't get you, I don't understand you at all," Ross said, walking back into his apartment. Chandler followed him into the apartment and shut the door behind him.

"I fucked up."

"You are always fucking up. I really don't get it. You're a smart, guy. I mean, of the six of us, you're the most successful career wise. You've been at the same job for five years and you quit once but you're so good at your job, they offered you a six figure salary and an executive title to come back. You're not an idiot."

"I know."

"So how could someone who is so successful professionally be such an idiot personally?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. Look," Chandler said, before standing up and walking towards Ross' bedroom door and opening it, "Joey."

"Get the hell out of here," Joey said, pushing past him.

"I am sorry. Okay, I am...I don't know why I'm this way, I don't I-I wish I-I will-"

Ross looked at Chandler who looked like he might break down in tears and Joey just looked furious. Ross hated seeing them fight. Yeah, there were times where he was a little jealous of Joey and Chandler, they were so close but this was too much. Too much fighting.

"I should have just let you swallow all those pills. I mean, if I had known you didn't give a shit about our friendship then I wouldn't have bothered throwing out those pills. Should've just let you overdose," Joey muttered.

"Joe," Ross said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"That's a little too far," Chandler said.

"So is kissing my girlfriend," Joey said.

"You were cheating on her," Chandler blurted out, "the night Kathy and I kissed, you were supposed to be out with her."

"So this is my fault?" Joey asked.

"You were on a date with someone else so how serious was this relationship?" Chandler asked.

"That's not the point, you had no right to kiss her," Joey said.

"I am sorry for kissing Kathy, okay, I like her. I like her a lot. I like her so much that I bought her that damn Velveteen Rabbit book because it's her favorite. I really like her but I-"

"Get out," Joey said, interrupting Chandler.

"This is my home," Ross said.

Joey and Chandler were glaring at each other and there was a part of him that wondered if they were going to start fighting each other. He was wondering if he would have to figure out a way to separate them.

"No, I will not get out. Yes, I fucked up. You have fucked up too. Who's the guy who moved into an apartment he could not afford? You could not afford our apartment but you guilted me into paying for it. You're still guilting me into paying for it. I pay for you to live, Joey. I pay for acting classes, meals, head shots, rent, utilities, you have not paid for a goddamn thing. Yeah, I have issues but you're fucking taking advantage," Chandler yelled.

Ross looked at Chandler who was red in the face and then looked at Joey who looked even more angry. Just then Joey began to charge towards Chandler and Ross stood up and jumped in front of Joey to hold him back.

"Chandler, get out," Ross yelled, trying to keep Joey from running at Chandler. Chandler let out a grunt and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut. Ross stepped back.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"You're not gonna kill him. The overdosing comment was a little much and is he really still paying for everything?"

"Well, when I was on Days of Our Lives, I helped."

"You didn't live with him for that long when you were on Days. You moved out and then moved back in….'cause you knew he'd pay."

"This is not my fault. He kissed my girlfriend."

"Yeah, he did screw up but man, you haven't contributed at all?"

"I contribute when I can."

"How did you get him to take you in and pay for everything?" Ross asked.

"I told him I was out of cash and I told him when it was time to pay the rent."

"You've both screwed up."

"He screwed up more."

Ross wasn't sure about that. He thought they were both idiots. Joey would be spending the night there and maybe he could figure out how to talk to Chandler the next day. He would have to talk to Chandler, especially with Thanksgiving coming up that week.

The next day, Joey left to go somewhere and Ross headed to Chandler and Joey's. He found Chandler sitting on one of the barcaloungers, staring at a blank television screen. Ross sat in the other barcalounger.

"Why are you paying for everything?" Ross asked.

"'Cause...I want to-"

"It was why I hated Gandalf and Kip."

"Joey is not my friend because I pay for things," Chandler said.

"I know but…."

"I don't know why I am this way. Why I'm so self destructive? I mean, I was thinking about Lizzie. You know? I destroyed that relationship and I did like her. Like I thought I would marry her. I destroy everything that's good and I don't know why. I mean, for so long I wanted friends. I wanted to not be alone and…."

"You're not alone. Okay, you know I'm not giving up on you. Monica's not giving up on you and I don't what else we're supposed to do to prove it."

"I don't know."

"And you did wreck your relationship with Lizzie," Ross said.

"Do you still keep in touch with her?" Chandler asked.

"No," Ross said, a little too quickly.

"Really? 'Cause….I don't know, I get the feeling you do."

"I don't."

"Hmmm," Chandler said, turning back towards the black television screen. Ross wanted to fix it but he wasn't sure what else he could say. That Thanksgiving was going to be tense and it became even tenser when he realized Rachel was also pissed at him and also because Chandler had to spend it in a box. Somehow, in a move Ross didn't quite understand, Chandler decided to prove how much Joey's friendship meant to him by spending all of Thanksgiving in a box.

"You really think I don't care about anything?" Rachel asked as they stepped onto the balcony to continue their earlier fight. Dinner was over and it was turning out to be an awful Thanksgiving. After discovering Rachel had returned a necklace he had bought her, he really got annoyed with her and her constant returning of gifts.

"I didn't say that."

"Yeah, you did. You said I'm devoid of sentiment. I keep things that matter. Who cares if I return a gift? You still think I'm shallow."

"Well, you return all the gifts. I mean, so nothing I buy you will ever be good enough for you."

"No….and even if….why is Kathy here?" Rachel asked. Ross looked in the window, confused. He and Rachel climbed back into the apartment and he was wondering what could possibly be happening next. That answer soon became obvious as Kathy walked to the box and soon broke up with Chandler. Ross kept looking over at Joey who seemed to be very upset watching this. When Kathy left, Joey ran over to the box to let Chandler out.

"Go find Kathy," Joey yelled.

"You sure?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, we're fine," Joey said as the two men hugged.

"I'm so sorry...I...I just...I don't know...I-you're my best friend man and I owe you so much. I am so, so sorry-"

"I know."

"All of you...I'm sorry...I don't know why I act this way and I don't why I'm so self destructive and I know I don't deserve friends like you and I'm...I'm sorry," Chandler said, looking at the others..

"We know, go get her, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Yeah, go get her," Monica said.

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah," Monica said.

Chandler nodded as he raced out of the apartment and the other five raced out onto the balcony to watch. Ross patted Joey on the back and whispered.

"That was a nice thing you did," Ross said.

"He deserves to be happy and I can't stay mad at him," Joey said.

Chandler returned about twenty minutes later, with a grin on his face. He walked into the apartment smiling as the group looked at him. Ross and Joey immediately ran to his side, patting him on the back.

"Dude," Joey remarked.

"I got a girlfriend," Chandler said. "Although, Joe...we are good, right? 'Cause I won't pursue this if you and I aren't-"

"Are you happy?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"Then it's all good," Joey said as the two boys hugged.

"Are we done here, Mon...because I'm thinking the boys need to go watch Die Hard," Ross said.

"Die Hard," Joey and Chandler said together.

"We're done, oh, Chandler," Monica said as she walked towards her fridge and pulled out a tray of mac and cheese. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Thanks," he said taking the tray from her, "we're good too, right?"

"Yeah," Monica said, kissing him on the cheek as the three boys walked out of the apartment and into the Joey and Chandler's apartment.

"You boys are okay, right?" Ross asked.

"Yeah and I am sorry about the overdose comment. If you overdosed..no, I can't imagine….that doesn't exist," Joey said.

"It's okay and I won't overdose. I can't. Who would pay for your rent?" Chandler asked, clearly joking.

"What is wrong with you?" Ross asked.

"I will try to pitch in more. Okay?"

"Thank you," Chandler said.

The three boys went to continue watching Die Hard and of course bonding over their favorite movie. They repeated lines and yelled things. It ended up being not the worst Thanksgiving with the exception of that fight with Rachel which was never resolved. He wanted to get Rachel something for the holidays that he knew she would not exchange. Something she would love so he called on Monica. A few days before the group decided to do a gift exchange, Monica met up with him at the commissary at the museum for lunch.

"Jewelry?" Ross asked.

"No. She'll return it," Monica said.

"Clothes."

"No."

"Accessories."

"No. She works in fashion, she can get clothes and accessories."

"Okay...help me."

"Get her a sketchpad."

"A sketchpad?" Ross asked.

"She designed her own prom dress, she designed her own Bat Mitzvah dress. She drew a Bat Mitzvah dress that she thought I should have worn. She does this whole stupid thing where she goes fashion design is just a hobby. It's not a hobby. She likes designing clothes. If you buy her that, she won't return it."

"Really?"

"I promise."

Ross nodded and decided that would be his gift for Rachel. He went in search of a sketchpad and when he found one, he wrapped it up. It was a Secret Santa exchange for the group this year. Joey and Chandler exchanged gifts. Phoebe and Monica and Rachel and Ross. Joey got Chandler a bunch of hockey jerseys from different teams and Chandler renewed Joey's subscription to Playboy for the next five years. Monica bought Phoebe candles and Phoebe bought Monica some cookbooks and when it came time for Ross and Rachel to exchange gifts, Rachel handed Ross her gift and he gave her the one he had gotten for her. She had gotten him some dinosaur books. He loved them and when it was time for her to open her gift, he closely watched the look on her face. She opened it and looked confused.

"Monica helped. She said you drew clothes. I thought you could use a sketchpad. Proves I support you," Ross said.

"I figured I should guide him in getting you a good gift this year," Monica grinned.

"You drew clothes?" Joey asked.

"I designed them," Rachel said.

"She made her own prom dress," Monica grinned.

"I liked that dress," Ross said.

Rachel smiled as she let out a sigh, "you're making it real hard for me to hate you, Ross."

"I know. I'll get you some more wine," Ross said as he walked to the kitchen. He looked at Rachel who kept looking at the sketchpad. He grinned watching her and knowing, she was not going to be returning the gift anytime soon.

For New Year's, Monica made a fancy dinner for them. They sat around the table, sipping champagne and saying farewell to 1997. As they were chatting, Chandler tried to get their attention.

"I wanna say something," Chandler said, standing and holding up his glass, "To all of you...ten months ago, I was in a very dark place. I was not doing well, you guys know that. It was pretty horrible...I was way too thin and I was taking way too many pills...and you guys were incredible. I mean, I know you kept trying to break through to me and I...I know it was rough for you guys and I am so sorry that I put any of you through any pain. Most of all... Joey, you are an amazing friend. I can't-I can't apologize enough for what I did-"

"It's okay, man," Joey said.

"It's really not."

"Where is Kathy, by the way?" Ross asked.

"She's spending the holidays with her family. We're gonna do New Years when she comes back. But Joe...you stayed up with me and took care of me. Thank you. Rachel, I'm sorry about what happened with Joanna-"

"Why didn't you pick up the chair?" Rachel asked.

"What?"

"The chair in Joanna's office moves...I was thinking about that...why didn't you pick up the chair, walk to the door and get the key," Rachel said.

"Too much work...but I am sorry. I am...I screwed up a lot these past ten months. Thank you for sticking with me and Phoebe, to answer your question from the other day, I don't know why I'm so self destructive or have no self confidence...but I'm absolutely thrilled to be ringing in New Year with five people that mean the world to me and I hope I never lose you guys," Chandler said.

"Chandler, you can't lose us," Monica said, gently touching his hand.

"Good...'cause you guys will never be able to get rid of me," Chandler said.

"Good...our life would be too boring without you," Rachel said.

"Here, here," Phoebe said as they all clinked their glasses together and as Ross dug into his salad, he could hear Phoebe and Rachel whispering to each other. He had to hold back his grin, not wanting to let on that he could hear them.

"1998...1998 will be the year," Rachel whispered to Phoebe.

"You think? What about Kathy?" Phoebe asked, whispering back.

"It'll never work. She's not even here on New Years. Please, next year will be the year they finally get it together and we can work on that song."

"I hope so. I just wish they'd get it together faster."

"I know. Where the hell is a crystal duck when you need one," Rachel muttered which caused Phoebe to laugh.

"What are you two talking about?" Monica asked.

"Nothing," Phoebe said.

"Crystal ducks," Rachel said, her face dead panned. Phoebe let out a snort as Chandler's eyes widened. "I love crystal ducks. Monica, do you like crystal ducks? I think Chandler should get you a crystal duck."

Chandler glared at Rachel and reached for another cherry tomato from Monica's salad and chucked it at Rachel's head. Rachel started laughing as Ross looked confused. Monica shook her head. He wasn't quite sure he understood the crystal duck reference.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Guys, look, the countdown," Joey said.

The group got up and walked over to the television. They sat close as the countdown to 1998 began. They each sat in pairs. Phoebe and Joey. Monica and Chandler. Ross and Rachel. Ross and Rachel exchanged looks as she gently draped her arm over his leg.

"Kiss me on New Year's?" Rachel asked.

"Sure….but will it be weird?" Ross asked.

"With us….yes. But aren't most things with us, weird?"

"Seems that way."

"Thank you again for the gift. I'm not returning it."

"I love you, Rach."

"I love you too….always."

Soon the ball dropped and the former couple leaned in to share a kiss to kick of 1998. It was exactly how it should be, Ross kissing Rachel. He would never be able to get enough of that.

January 1998. Four more months until he graduated. The end was reachable. He could see that light at the end of the tunnel. He needed to have a party. He needed to dance and sing and be merry. He wasn't sure if his friends would understand his happiness but it was the greatest feeling to know he was almost done. It had been a long road and that last push would require a final paper. Walking into school after winter break, there really was only person he wanted to enjoy it with because only one person would get it.

"Four months, baby," Ross said as he plopped down next to Julie. Julie smiled at him and let out a laugh.

"Four more months and then we are done."

"Can you believe it?"

"We still have that damn thesis and-"

"But that's really it. I have senioritis," Ross said which made Julie laugh.

"Me too. So you're gonna work here when you're done?"

"Yep. You?"

"No. Actually, I got a job lined up at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History. I'm going to move to D.C. after graduation," Julie said.

"That is unbelievable. Congratulations. That's like one of the best Natural History Museums in the country."

"I'm really excited."

"Congrats and now let's go for the home stretch."

Julie nodded. It was good to talk with Julie, he knew she'd get it and he was so proud that she not only got it but also happy that they could talk about it with fighting. They were going to end grad school as friends.

January also brought the first of the thirtieth birthdays for the group. Joey was the first to turn thirty and he was not handling it well. Chandler had set up his video game system in the girls apartment and Monica had made tons of sandwiches to celebrate and there was also another development. Phoebe had decided to carry a baby for her newly married step-brother and his much older wife.

"Oh, dude...stop crying," Chandler said as Phoebe, Rachel and Monica joined them on the couch.

"It's just...I'm thirty. I'm old," Joey cried as he fell towards Chandler who in turn shoved him away.

"Joey, I'm gonna be thirty next month," Phoebe said.

"I know, you're old too," Joey whined.

"No, I'm looking forward to it. I mean, my twentieth I spent being raped and tortured in Prague, my tenth...oh, on my tenth, my step dad and mom could only afford to give one of us a gift. Ursula got the gift. But I got the box...so I think thirty will be good," Phoebe said as the group just stared at her. Phoebe always seemed to have a habit of just randomly talking about her past as if it could happen to anyone.

"Well...we weren't planning on raping or torturing you," Chandler said.

"And we're buying you gifts and not Ursula," Rachel said.

"See, it's already looking good," Phoebe said.

"It's just so strange that we have to start planning for the big 3-0," Ross said.

"Oh, G-d," Joey said.

"Here he goes again," Chandler groaned as Rachel and Monica retreated to get the cake and sandwiches. "Let's play some video games."

"Okay," Joey sniffled as Chandler handed him a controller and the two sat side by side to play games. Ross moved so he was sitting next to Phoebe.

"Hey, by the way….you're really gonna do this?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I just...I think would be nice and I can give back and it will be difficult but I wanna carry their child."

"You are unbelievable, Pheebs," Ross said.

"Thanks and hey, four more months," Phoebe said.

"You realize I'm still in grad school?"

"Of course and you're almost done."

"It can't come quick enough."

"Why did you think I didn't know?" Phoebe asked.

"'Cause you never listen when I talk about dinosaurs."

"'Cause it's boring and I don't wanna hear about it."

"Well, there you go but yeah, Pheebs….this is an unbelievable thing you're doing. You are so strong."

"No, I'm not strong. I just...do what I have to do. Sometimes that's your only choice."

Ross nodded as he watched Joey and Chandler playing video games. Monica and Rachel soon joined them on the couch with cake and sandwiches. 1998 was starting off quite comfortably and with graduation in sight, it would probably continue that way.


	35. Chapter 35

**February 1998-April 1998**

He really had not expected to fall for anyone. He was fine with trying to be single and focus on his last few months of grad school and then Emily showed up. Rachel had told him to take her out because she had a crush on some guy named Joshua and Emily was her boss' niece. Ross was very reluctant to do it but he had been talked into it. Chandler's relationship with Kathy had been very short. She had cheated on him they broke up. So he was feeling bad and then Joey was auditioning for a Charleton Heston movie and not bathing. So Ross was it and the only person Rachel could ask. He reluctantly went and then fell. It was very unexpected as well as the trip to Vermont he ended up on.

"I've never seen Vermont," Emily said as she lay in bed with him. It had been the longest first date ever and the most incredible one.

"I've never seen London."

"I've always wanted to go," Emily said.

"So thank you by the way...for taking me to the opera and deciding we should go to Vermont."

"No, thank you. I needed this. It's been a very crazy couple of years and…"

"You're graduating."

"Yes."

"So what does that mean? You get a PhD and then…."

"Then I can teach, I can go on digs...I bet there are fantastic places to dig in London."

"Hmmm, can we do something? I mean, it's only Saturday, right? We can stay another night? Let's do something."

"Like what?" Ross asked.

"Okay, have you ever had a yes day?"

"No."

"Anything you do, you have to say yes."

"Anything? I don't really want to commit crimes?"

"No, but okay….what if I said we should go tandem skydiving?" Emily asked.

"No."

"It's a yes day. You have to say yes. For twenty four hours, you have to say yes. Come on Ross," Emily said.

Ross let out a sigh and nodded slowly. A yes day, he had never thought of doing that. He had never skydived. He never did anything crazy although, twenty four hours earlier he was in New York, taking a girl he had never met to the opera and now he was lying next to her in bed.

"Okay, yes," Ross said.

"Okay...good, first, no boxers-"

"If I go skydiving today, you better believe I'm gonna wear underwear….and pack an extra pair."

"You're gonna do it?" Emily asked, practically beaming.

"I'll do it."

The next twenty four hours involved a whirlwind of fun he had never truly experienced. He was the guy who played by the rules, followed the straight and narrow but this was unbelievable. He said yes to everything. First, there was breakfast which wasn't quite as exciting although they both ordered for each other. Emily got Ross Maple Nut Waffles and Ross ordered Emily Sugar and Spice Pancakes, both plates had the maple that Vermont was known for and they both enjoyed eating off each other's plates. It was after breakfast where the true excitement began.

Ross wanted to see the Bellows Falls Petroglyphs which looked like alien faces etched onto rocks and are believed to be aliens. They both wanted to see Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard which memorialized departed Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors. They brought flowers to place onthe graves and of course they had to see the Vermontasaurus which was piles of wood made to look like a giant dinosaur. They went to see the Rock of Ages Granite Quarry and Emily wanted to see the collection of Grandma Moses paintings and the grave of Robert Frost. She also dared him to come with her to the Knight's Spiderweb Museum and he said yes, even though everything about it made him want to start shaking and crying hysterically. The final event was the skydiving. He and Emily were attached to their instructors and before Ross knew it, he was falling out of an airplane, screaming into the wind. He could feel his heartbeat out of his chest and he could just imagine what his parents would say if he told them. When his feet were on the ground, the rush of the day made his knees buckle. He ran to Emily who was beaming as he held her in his arms.

"This has been the most amazing. I can't….I just jumped out of a plane."

"I know."

"I kinda want to throw up a little."

"Me too."

"Thank you, Emily...this is...I could have done without the spider web museum but this was...oh, man...I don't wanna go home."

"I know."

Without even thinking, he leaned into kiss her and she kissed back. He had never felt this alive before, this crazy and he wanted this feeling forever.

Phoebe's thirtieth birthday was ten days later in what was now Chandler and Joey's apartment. During a game, the girls had bet the guys their apartment and lost and now Monica and Rachel lived in Chandler and Joey's old apartment and Chandler and Joey lived in Monica and Rachel's. Ross though was still raving about his day with Emily. He and Emily had not stopped talking with each other ever since Vermont. She prolonged her stay for a few days but had to go back to London which he hated. He hated that she had to leave. He felt so boring without her there.

"I still can't believe you jumped out of a plane," Monica said.

"It was unbelievable. The whole….she's amazing, she's truly amazing and-"

"Guys, where is he?" Phoebe asked, cutting Ross off. She was pissed. Everyone was there, ready to celebrate Phoebe except Chandler. He had vanished. The excitement over Emily was quickly diminished when he let himself think about Chandler being gone. For a moment, he wondered if Chandler had fallen off the wagon again.

"Didn't he say something about Yemen?" Joey asked. The group exchanged looks. While at the nail salon with Rachel, Chandler had run into Janice who wanted to get back together with him and instead of just telling her the truth, he made up a story about going to Yemen. Ross had heard parts of that story but it seemed a little far fetched. Would he really go that far to avoid Janice?

"Wait, you don't think he went to Yemen, do you?" Ross asked.

Ross watched as Rachel stood up and walked into her old bedroom only to reappear a few seconds later.

"His stuff is gone," Rachel said.

Joey, Monica and Ross got up and ran past Rachel into the room. His room was practically empty. He had really gone to Yemen? Ross could feel himself getting pissed off again. Why was he so intent on sabotaging everything. The phone rang as Monica, Ross and Joey walked out of the room.

"I'm not getting that," Phoebe said, getting up and walking towards the big chair. Monica nodded and walked towards the phone, grabbing it.

"Hello?...Chandler, where are you?...Oh, wow...Yemen," Monica said as she lowered the phone and looked at the others, "he's in Yemen," Monica put the phone up to her ear again "What's wrong with you?...I know but…I know...alright….Yeah, she's here," Monica said as she lowered the phone and looked at Phoebe, "he wants to talk to you."

"I'm not here," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe. He's in Yemen and he-"

"Fine, tell him to send me a postcard," Phoebe said as Monica put the phone back up to her ear. "Uh, Chandler...she's a little upset with you right now….No, I'm not going to ask her that….No….Fine," Monica said as she lowered the phone again, "Pheebs, Chandler wants to know if you can pick him up from the airport tomorrow in your cab."

"Tell him to go to hell," Phoebe said.

"Did you hear that?" Monica asked, putting the phone up to her ear. "Yeah, we'll figure it out. Just get home. Call us when you get back to New York," Monica said.

Monica hung up the phone. Ross wanted to say something, he wanted to make things better but he wasn't sure how.

"No, no. Why...okay, why is he so fucking self destructive? So Janice breaks up with him, he develops a drug habit. He kisses Kathy while she was still dating Joey...and this is after we helped him through the drug habit and then...then he fucks things up with Kathy...and now instead of having the balls to say to Janice that he doesn't want to date her, he flies to Yemen...with all his stuff. When is it going to be good enough for Chandler Bing?" Phoebe asked.

"Look, Pheebs...there's a lot you don't know about Chandler," Ross said.

"No, I know a lot. It is my thirtieth birthday and instead of him being here...no and he broke a promise. He left," Phoebe said.

"He's coming back. Tomorrow," Monica said.

Phoebe let out a snort as Monica got up and went to the kitchen to get some more food for the group. Ross looked over at Joey who seemed upset as well. Joey got up and walked into Chandler's now empty room and shut the door. Ross looked over at Monica and walked in, seeing Joey sitting on the bed.

"Leave me alone," Joey said.

"No, I get it," Ross said.

"I wanna be his friend. I do Ross. The guy….and not 'cause he pays for my shit but I really do love the guy but fuck….seriously? He went to Yemen instead of breaking up with Janice? Come on, grow a pair."

"I know."

"You've been his friend for longer than I have. How have you held on?" Joey asked.

"Not sure."

"I'm not sure what to do. Tell me what to do. Seriously, and I'm asking….what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I wish I knew. I know I make excuses and….I have to think and I know this sounds very Phoebe but there's a reason we were put together as college roommates, you know and I don't….I don't what the reason is and maybe…"

"And it would be so much easier if he was actually an asshole. If he was a jerk, I'd write him off but I like the guy. I don't want to stop but I don't know….how have you not given up? Have you ever gotten close?" Joey asked.

"Oh, yeah. The guy vanished before my wedding to Carol. He didn't even come to my engagement party. We had to track him down. He's….but I like the guy too and you're right, it would be so much easier if he was an asshole. If he was Gandalf or Kip, it would be easy but he….this aside, is actually a good guy. I'm glad you're here though, Joe."

"You are?"

"Oh yeah 'cause I don't know if I'd survive handling him on my own and you live with him so you can keep a better eye on him."

"He's an adult."

"Yeah, I know."

"So you jumped out of a plane?" Joey asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, I did."

"Did you pee your pants?" Joey asked.

"A little bit, not gonna lie."

"You know, you and I should hang out together more."

"That would be awesome."

There was a knock on door and Monica peered in, looking at both of them.

"Boys? Do you want cake?" Monica asked.

"Why is that a question?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, why is that even a question?" Ross asked.

Monica walked in and shut the door behind her as she let out a laugh and starred Ross and Joey. Ross could tell she was sizing them up.

"Okay, I want us to forget about Chandler right now. He is in Yemen. He made his choice and we can all sit around and be angry, I know I am but I want to celebrate Phoebe. She is thirty. This is a big deal for someone who spent ten years living on the streets. I mean, she made it to thirty. Okay, let's be pissed tomorrow. I'm tired and want a break and I know we are all tired and want a break. There is cake. I have drinks but Phoebe, just water, and we will have a good time," Monica said.

"Well, there is cake," Joey said.

"I could use cake," Ross said as he and Joey stood up and followed Monica out of the room and towards the table where Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on the couch, Phoebe was looking at a dress and Rachel was sitting by her. Phoebe held up the dress to show off to the guys. It looked like a blue dress with daisies on it, it was very pretty.

"Look what Rachel made me," Phoebe said.

"Very nice," Ross said.

"You're good at that," Joey said.

"I think so," Rachel said.

"Okay, cake time….." Monica said walking over to the group with a cake decorated with lit candles. The group sang happy birthday and Phoebe blew out the candles and Monica began cutting into it and passing out plates.

"So, Pheebs….how does it feel to be thirty?" Rachel asked.

"Good. I mean, I can't…." Phoebe said.

"Did you think you'd live to see thirty?" Ross asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Phoebe asked.

"Really? With everything you've been through?" Ross said.

"In order to get through everything I've been through, I had to believe I'd make it to thirty. Look, I know my stories are wild and I know my life stories are unlike anything you've experienced but….they're mine. They're amazingly mine and I went through them and….I'm proud of them," Phoebe said.

"I wanna go out tonight," Joey said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, let's go out. The five of us. I wanna go to a club or….you're thirty Pheebs, we should celebrate that," Joey said.

"I'm pregnant," Phoebe said.

"I'll drink your booze," Joey said.

"Should we go out? Chandler's not here and-"

"He made his choice, right Mon?" Joey asked, cutting off Rachel.

"Right," Monica said, "let's not tell him that we're going out. Let's keep that between us five but I do think we deserve a celebration."

"We should invite Janice," Phoebe said.

"No," Joey said.

"Awww, but Joe she must be so sad that her boyfriend has moved to Yemen," Phoebe said.

"And she must think we are the worst friends ever because we never helped him pack or even said goodbye," Rachel said.

"Exactly, maybe we should invite her because she probably thinks we're really sad too," Phoebe said.

"Her coming would make me sadder," Joey said.

"Are we being mean?" Rachel asked and as if on cue, all eyes landed on Ross. He let out a smile, knowing they were looking to him for the answer.

"I don't think so. Look, we will still pick him up at the airport-"

"I'm not coming with you to pick him up," Phoebe said.

"Okay, then the rest of us will go….we can tell him we stayed at home and celebrated and we did celebrate here but Phoebe should be celebrating. It is a big deal that you made it to thirty. I do wanna go out and we should not have to stop our lives every single time he makes a stupid decision. I don't think we're being mean. This is Phoebe's night. It's not his," Ross said.

"Let's go," Joey said.

The group finished up their cake and soon left the apartment to go out. The five of them took a cab to Club Lava in Manhattan. There was food, there was dancing and it was the five of them. They crowded around a tiny table with drinks and sparkling water in hand.

"Okay, so am I going to be the only sober one by the end of the evening?" Phoebe asked.

"No, I'll be sober," Monica said.

"No, you'll be wasted. That is my dream for you, Mon. That is my birthday wish," Phoebe said.

"Mon, come on….get drunk with me. Let's show Joey and Ross how to be classy drunks," Rachel said.

"We're not classy drunks," Monica said.

"I know but we could try," Rachel said.

"Can I get you guys anything?" A cocktail waitress wearing next to nothing walked towards them.

"Yes, can I have you?" Joey asked.

"Could you be anymore of a pig?" Rachel asked.

"I really can, you wanna see see me try?" Joey asked.

"Okay, a round of tequila shots except for her," Ross said, pointing at Phoebe.

"I'm pregnant," Phoebe said.

"Pregnant, I thought you were just getting fat?" Ross asked, grinning.

"Oh bite me," Phoebe said.

"Alright, I'll get you kids your drinks," the waitress said, walking off leaving the five looking rather stunned.

"Did she just call us 'kids?'" Monica asked.

"Oh, score," Rachel said as they did a five way high five and began laughing.

"How much younger do you think she actually is than all of us?" Phoebe asked.

"That's the worst game ever and I don't wanna play," Rachel said.

"Yeah, it sucks as much as betting your apartment in a trivia game," Ross said.

"Transponster…..it's not a word," Monica said.

"We are getting our place back," Rachel said.

"Like hell you are," Joey said.

"What the hell does he do?" Rachel said. "Phoebe and Joey, you both worked there. What does he do?"

"I don't know," Phoebe said.

"I didn't pay attention," Joey said.

The waitress walked back to the table with four shots and handed them to the group. Ross lifted his up and was followed by Joey, Rachel and Monica lifting up their shots and Phoebe lifting her water glass up.

"To Phoebe-" Ross said as the rest repeated him, "and to Yemen." The group yelled 'Yemen' as loudly as they could as they drank and soon they decided to dance. Joey grabbed Monica and Phoebe and danced with them and Ross and Rachel found their own area to dance in.

"So you like this Emily?" Rachel asked over the music.

"She's nice."

"I can't believe you went sky diving."

"Maybe you and I will do it one day."

"Maybe."

"I went to a spider web museum."

"That sounds cool."

"No, it's not."

Rachel laughed as he held her close to him. They were still dancing. The night wore on with Monica, Rachel, Joey and Ross getting drunk and Phoebe being sad that she had to remain sober. When they left the club around two thirty, three am, the group headed to a pizza place to eat and enjoy themselves more.

The next morning, they woke up in what was now Chandler and Joey's apartment. It was a bit confusing as four of the five were a little hungover. Chandler soon called to let them know he was at JFK and Phoebe went home while Joey, Ross, Monica and Rachel went to the airport. They would not tell Chandler about their fun, not wanting to upset him and also wanting to keep it amongst them. They would act as if nothing was wrong.

"Why wouldn't you just break up with her?" Rachel asked when they finally got Chandler.

"I tried...she said no," Chandler said.

"I can't believe you went to Yemen," Joey said, laughing. "Have I taught you nothing about women?"

Ross was kinda impressed with how Joey was acting. He knew full well Joey was pissed but it was impressive how he was pretending it was all a joke.

"You know as well as I do, she doesn't take rejection easily," Chandler said.

"Still...Yemen."

"Yep, a forty two hundred dollar break up...Joey, get ready to pay rent this month," Chandler remarked.

"Dammit, Chandler," Joey said.

"Is Phoebe really mad?" Chandler asked.

"Well, yeah...she's not pleased," Rachel said.

Monica was barely speaking to him as well. Joey cracked jokes and Ross tried as well but it was getting tiresome. None of them wanted to be there that early in the morning picking Chandler up from the airport, they all wanted to be home. It kept getting more and more irritating and how much farther could he push them? He really did not want to talk to Chandler about it. He wasn't sure what else to say but it was Chandler who wanted to talk to him, a couple days later at Central Perk. They were sitting side by side, sipping their coffee when Chandler broke the ice.

"I'm sorry about Yemen," Chandler said.

"I don't care."

"You don't?"

"I don't know what else to say to you. Just….stop pulling this shit, please. We like you and we want to keep liking you," Ross stressed.

"I caught her doing it the other night," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Monica. After I came back from talking to Phoebe, I heard her throwing up in our bathroom. I-I talked to her and um-I-"

"Seriously?"

"But….I'm taking care of it," Chandler said.

"How?"

"I-by being there?" Chandler asked, "look, you know how I feel about your sister. I'll protect her. I promise you that."

"Hey, guys," Monica said as she walked in and plopped down next to Ross.

"You made yourself throw up again?" Ross asked, alarmed.

"Chandler," Monica admonished.

"I had to, he has to know," Chandler said.

"It was stress, I'm fine," Monica said.

"Mon," Ross said.

"I'm fine. Okay….let's just….I'm fine. I'm getting coffee," Monica said as she got up and walked towards the counter.

"I promise you, Ross. I'm not gonna let anything happen to her. She's too important," Chandler said.

"You still like her, don't you?" Ross asked.

"Sometimes. I just….I don't think I'm good enough for her," Chandler said, "but I will be. I promise you."

"I believe you," Ross said.

"Just don't give up on me yet," Chandler said.

"Haven't yet."

"Did you guys go out for Phoebe's birthday?" Chandler asked.

"No," Ross said.

"Ross."

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Good?"

"She's thirty….that needed to be celebrated."

"That's what we thought. Get better, man," Ross said.

"Tell me about Emily?" Chandler asked which made Ross beam. He began to tell him all about Emily. It was becoming an amazing relationship and he truly loved every single thing about her and by March, he and Emily were even closer. Every weekend was spent with her, she constantly came to New York and when she did, everything felt more amazing. The only hitch was Rachel who was acting very strangely and when she had decided on a last moment party for Emily in an attempt to get to Joshua, he thought she had lost her mind. A thought that was confirmed when she began doing a cheer in her old high school cheerleading outfit and ended up with a fat lip. She eventually retreated outside and he knew he needed to talk to her.

"Room for one more?" Ross asked as he stepped outside of the apartment and sat with Rachel. She had ice on her lip and looked mortified.

"I'm sorry, Ross."

"Should be."

"Thanks."

"What the hell happened tonight? What was that?"

"I don't know. I'm...I'm scared. Maybe that's it. I mean, you're with Emily and you're….it's going well and maybe...we're….I think we're done."

"You and Joshua?"

"You and me. You're with Emily and maybe….it's going well."

"Please, it's...Emily and I are temporary. It's a one time thing. She's going back to England and then we're over. We both agreed on that."

"Ross, I don't think it's temporary. She really likes you."

"Please."

"She just spent the entire night here….and has not left after everything that happened tonight. She's in this, Ross."

"Yeah?"

Rachel let out a pained sigh, "go get her. Just go….I mean, I ruined your relationship with Julie. I ruined your relationship with Bonnie. Maybe with Emily, we can both move on."

"Is that what you want?"

"I think we have to. Ross, we don't work as a couple. We tried and failed and you got a girl in there who wants you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

They needed to move on. They needed to close the door on that relationship. It was important. Ross leaned in and gave her a hug and got up to walk back into the apartment. Ross looked at Monica and Emily sitting together, looking over a photo album and he could feel himself falling again. Maybe Rachel was right? Maybe he should move? Thoughts of marriage entered his head and he began wondering if maybe Emily was the person he was supposed to be with. Maybe Emily was supposed to be his person, his wife.

They stood at JFK, Ross had a pink box in his hand to give to her before they left. He kept kissing her and grabbing her hand and Emily kept giggling.

"So, what is that?" Emily asked.

"Scones. Chandler gave them to me. Apparently, he has a buddy he went to high school with who has a British wife and she made scones."

"I can get them at home," Emily said.

"Let's try 'em….it's an American attempt at British pastries….kind of," Ross said opening the box and handing her one and he grabbed one of his own.

"Oh it looks like they're blueberries or raisins," Emily said.

Both bit into their scones and they were quite good. Ross wasn't sure what the berries were because they didn't taste like blueberries or raisins but it was good.

"I like 'em," Ross said.

"Yeah, they're good. I'll bring 'em back."

"Bring McDonalds when you come back."

"I might."

"When are you coming back?" Ross asked.

"Soon, I promise. I need to get back there. I'm gonna lose my job."

"Hurry back," Ross said as they shared another kiss. His heart broke as he watched her leave. It hurt. He wanted her back, he wanted to move to London. He wanted to go somewhere and wanted it to be with Emily.

After leaving JFK, he headed straight to Central Perk where he saw Rachel and Monica cuddled up next to Chandler. They were laughing about something as he walked over and sat in the big chair.

"Hi," Ross said.

"You alright, man?" Chandler asked.

"Just miss Emily. Oh, by the way, Chandler, Emily wanted to say thank you for the scones. I had one. They were awesome."

"No problem. Did Emily have one?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, she really liked it...alright I'm gonna get coffee," Ross said, getting up and walked over to the counter. He needed coffee, something about those scones were not sitting right with him and as he waited, he still thought. He needed Emily to come back.

By April, he had made up his mind officially. Sure it had only been two months but he was graduating and it did occur to him that he was bookending his grad school career with marriage proposals but this was different. He needed to do this and he needed to propose to her. He did it while they were in bed. He asked and she looked at him like he was insane.

"Have you gone mad?" Emily asked.

"No, no. I want you to be my wife. Emily, these last two months have been the most incredible two months ever and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please say yes."

"Oh, yes. Yes. I will," Emily said, kissing him. "Where will we get married? London or America?"

"Let's do it in London. I had a wedding in America, it didn't end well."

"G-d, there's this church in London and I've always dreamt of getting married there."

"Then let's get married there," Ross said.

"It's getting torn down in a month," Emily said.

"Then let's get married in a month."

"Excuse me?" Emily asked.

"Look, next month, there's a whole new chapter of my life that is going to start. I'm officially going to be a PhD and I wanna start that chapter with you. I graduate in the beginning of May and then we'll fly to London and have the wedding."

"Okay," Emily said, looking at him, her eyes widened at what he was saying.

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

The two giggled and shared kisses, remaining in bed until it was time for Ross to drop her off at the airport and he could not wait until he could be with her every single day.

After dropping her off, he went to Lizzie's apartment wanting to tell her everything. When he was let in, he noticed boxes everywhere and he could hear crying coming from another room. It was then that he noticed Lauren's behavioral chart hanging from the wall and her name on red.

"Oh no, what happened?" Ross asked.

"We're officially moving to Tulsa," Lizzie said.

"What? Wait...what about my graduation and...and I also just proposed to Emily."

"I may have to miss your graduation and you proposed? You've been dating for two months."

"I know but it's….I just-"

"What about Rachel?"

"What about her? Rachel and I are done and wait, you're missing my graduation? Will you at least come for the wedding?"

"When is the wedding?"

"Next month."

"Next month? Are you kidding me? Well, probably I won't be able to make it."

"Why are you so pissed off? Why are you even moving?"

"I've had enough. I cannot afford...I am trying to raise a child and...I wanna be with my family and not wrapped up in this stupid drama. Why the hell are you marrying someone you've known for two months when everyone and their mother knows how this will end up and-"

"Maybe it'll end up well. Look, Carol and I dated for a long time and you saw how that ended and-"

"So you think this is the best way to go? Look, we're moving back Tulsa. Ross, do you have any clue how difficult it has been for me? I've barely been on a date in seven years. I don't have a boyfriend. I-I wanna be with family and I want Lauren to know her family and yes we will still have her birthday here and I hope you can come but-"

"Let me talk to Lauren," Ross said as he walked down the hall towards Lauren's room. He could hear her crying as he opened the door and saw her sitting in a chair facing the wall. Ross walked over to her and sat beside her, his back up against the wall.

"You got in trouble?"

"Yeah, I don't wanna move Ross," Lauren cried.

"But you have family there and you'll make lots of friends."

"Are you going to Tulsa?"

"No, I'm not."

"Will you write to me?"

"Everyday."

"Can I write to you and call you?"

Ross got up and walked towards a little craft table. He picked up a piece of construction paper and a crayon and wrote his address and phone number on it. He also drew a stick figure of himself with a stick figure drawing of Lauren. He returned to his spot and handed it to her.

"Here's my address, here's my phone number. You're my little buddy, okay."

Lauren sniffled as she took the paper and looked at it. She nodded before suddenly throwing her arms around him and hugging him. He could feel himself crying as well.

"Hey," Lizzie said appearing in the doorway.

"I don't want you leaving, Liz," Ross said, "you've been my everything. Our friendship has meant so much to me and this kid right here is amazing."

"Yeah, I wanna keep her. But I have no choice Ross. I need help. I know you'll help and everything but I need my family around me and I want Lauren to know them and I've had enough of New York," Lizzie said.

Ross stood up, still carrying Lauren, he walked over to Lizzie and hugged her, tightly. Lauren moved her body a little so she had an arm around Ross and an arm around her mom. Lizzie and Lauren and meant so much to him and now they were leaving. It was a bit too much.

He had to pull himself together before heading over to Monica's. When he reached their building and began getting closer to Monica's apartment, he could hear Rachel, Joey and Chandler cracking up about something. It made him smile as he reached the landing and walked into what was once Rachel and Monica's apartment but apparently had gone back to being Joey and Chandler's and noticed Rachel and Chandler covered in some sort of sticky substance.

"Guys, I have news...Chandler, Rachel...what are...never mind, come on, I wanna tell all of you," Ross said as he ran out of the apartment and into Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe and Monica were chatting and Rachel, Joey and Chandler soon joined them when Ross gave them news that he and Emily would soon be getting married.


	36. Chapter 36

**April 1998-May 1998**

His first order of business was lunch with Chandler. It had been about seven years earlier when Ross had asked Chandler to be the Best Man at his first wedding. Chandler had vanished. It was September of 1991, Ross had called Chandler's house, leaving a message, leaving many messages all unreturned by Chandler until both Monica and Ross showed up in the theater of the home he grew up in. So much had happened since and while Ross had gone back and forth on who he should ask, he felt it should still be Chandler. They sat across from each other at a pizza place and Ross handed Chandler a box.

"What is this?" Chandler asked.

"A belated birthday gift," Ross said.

"I liked the sweater vest one you got me. I don't have a purple one," Chandler said.

"Open it."

Chandler ripped off the paper and looked at it. It was a remote control car, but not just any kind of remote control car but a remote control Corvette. Chandler laughed, looking at the gift.

"Mini Sally," Chandler grinned.

"You can drive that into as many houses as you want," Ross said.

"I love it. G-d, I miss that car."

"That really was an amazing car."

"I'm getting a new one," Chandler said.

"When?"

"Some day. So what's the reason for the gift? You didn't need to get me another birthday gift."

"I want you to be my Best Man again," Ross said.

"Really? 'Cause I did such an amazing job at the first wedding?" Chandler asked.

"That was practice," Ross tried.

"Awww, you got married to a lesbian to help me to practice being a Best Man at your future wedding to a British girl?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, 'cause I'm just that good of a friend."

"Thanks. I'll be your Best Man and I'll RSVP to the wedding and I won't vanish. I'll do a good job this time," Chandler said.

"I know you will."

"I have to say...I'm amazed," Chandler said.

"About what?"

"Well, your first wedding...I didn't talk to you for seven months after I said I would be your Best Man and you still held out hope and...I mean...I don't know...I mean if Monica hadn't come and yelled at me-"

"You still would've shown up."

"How do you know?"

"You're not an asshole, Bing. I mean, you may work really hard to try and convince us you're an asshole...and you try really hard...but you're not an asshole. You would've shown up. Yeah, Monica yelled at you and told you to get it together...but you still did it. You're not a dick….and I'm proud of you, Bing. You've come a long way."

That was true, despite everything, Ross could tell his friend was changing. Still had some ways to go but he was still changing.

"Thanks...so okay...I'll plan something this time."

"Not at the Pizza Hut," Ross added.

"Alright and Kip won't be there...Gandalf?"

"No. No, I had Kip and Gandalf at the first one because they were your friends but you know what, I'm twenty eight, almost twenty nine and I'll admit once again...those guys were assholes."

"Kip was. Gandalf, I liked," Chandler said.

"All throughout college, I had to listen to, 'oh, Ross isn't twenty one, he can't hang out with us and has to sit in the car and wait outside,'" Ross moaned.

"Hey, but remember I said you're the last to turn thirty. You're not even gonna be twenty nine for another five months so now, the tables are turning."

"Yeah...and they're not here to rub it in."

"You can rub it into me," Chandler said. "So no Gandalf...I don't even know where Kip is now, so don't worry. Joey of course and um...give me a list of people you want."

"Okay...wow...I'm getting married for a second time."

"You think this will stick?"

"I don't know. I hope so."

"What about Rachel?" Chandler asked.

"What about her?"

"So...marrying Emily means you're officially closing the door on that chapter."

"I think I have to. She's not interested. She's dating that Josh guy."

"Joshua," Chandler corrected before shaking his head, "sorry."

"I think...it's best that we're friends."

Although, when he said that, there was a feeling that maybe he was wrong. He didn't want to be wrong. Maybe it was just some suspicious feeling but he kept thinking that maybe something was not right.

"Wow, what did I do?" Chandler asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What did I do to get friends like you and Monica and all of you? I don't think I deserve you guys."

"Yeah you do."

"I do?"

"'Cause no one else would put up with your shit."

Chandler laughed as he shook his head, "probably. Well, I promise I won't vanish and I will plan a bachelor party and I will...yeah, it'll be good."

"Good."

"So Lizzie is moving back to Tulsa."

"Really?" Ross asked, playing dumb. He still didn't want Chandler to know how deep their friendship had gone.

"She told me at the bar. Ross, have you kept in touch with her?"

"No."

"Okay because I won't be upset. You were friends with her."

"I'm not in touch with her."

"Alright. Oh, I'm gonna have to write a speech or I can use the one I had for your first wedding," Chandler said, giving him a slight grin. Ross knew exactly what was coming next.

"You didn't have a speech at my first wedding."

"Uh-huh, you don't know."

"I'm walking right into this joke. Aren't I?" Ross asked.

"Uh-huh….okay, we are at the wedding for Ross and Carol...I mean, Emily. Here's to everlasting love and not being tempted by other women-"

"I hate you so much," Ross said, trying not to laugh but it was difficult as Chandler was laughing at his own joke. It was moments like that where the reasons for sticking with Chandler became obvious. Even though he was the butt of Chandler's jokes, no one made him laugh harder.

May would be the busiest month of his life. First came graduation. He was finally a PhD and he had invited his friends as well as his parents and while he knew his parents would come as well as Monica and Emily, he was pleasantly surprised that Chandler, Phoebe, Joey and Rachel came. He just thought they would avoid it. Sitting up there watching his friends, he couldn't help but laugh. Joey, Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe were trying to get the wave started and Monica was trying to keep them quiet.

"You know, I do miss them," Julie said.

Ross looked over at Julie sitting next to him wearing her cap and gown as well.

"You do? Even Rachel?"

"Sometimes. But….you have the greatest friends and I miss them."

Ross was going to say something else when as if on cue, Chandler and Joey began screaming, "Julie! Whoa-Julie! Go, Julie! Go away, Ross!" Ross began to laugh harder as was Julie who simply waved at them from the stage.

"You can take them with you to D.C. Seriously, I won't miss 'em," Ross said.

"No, you need Chandler and Joey in your life," Julie mused.

"Why?"

"'Cause they're really good at getting the stick out of your ass," Julie mused.

"I don't know, it's pretty well lodged up there."

"Really? So hey, wait, you're engaged?"

"Yep."

"Does she know Rachel?"

"She knows Rachel."

"Poor girl," Julie said.

"What? She's a friend."

"Okay."

"I am over her, we went out and it didn't work. You know what, I take that back. You don't get to take Chandler and Joey with you to D.C.," Ross joked.

"Sexy Ross," Joey yelled.

"I love dinosaurs," Chandler yelled.

"Homosapiens forever," Joey yelled.

"Love me long time, sexy dinosaurs!" Chandler yelled.

Ross laughed as he noticed Monica reached over to smack them both to be quiet. Rachel and Phoebe were also laughing. He could hear Phoebe's laugh which he knew was only going to spur on Chandler and Joey.

"Oh, that laugh. I miss that," Julie said.

"Phoebe's?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. She really does have the best laugh in the world," Julie said.

"Oh definitely."

"Jurassic Park, based on a true story," Chandler yelled.

"I love you, Hairy Dinosaur," Joey yelled.

Ross was laughing as well, as he looked over at Phoebe whose laugh carried over everyone and he could see her practically spitting on herself she was laughing too hard. Monica kept trying to smack him and Rachel kept looking over at Phoebe and she was laughing. He even noticed his parents trying not to smile but the power of Phoebe's laugh was unmistakable. It was infectious to everyone except Emily. He looked over at Emily who appeared pissed off. He was wondering how anyone could possibly not laugh when Phoebe was laughing? How could anyone be immune to that sound?

When the ceremony began and his name was called, the yelling started again with Joey and Chandler yelling that he was the sexiest dinosaur and the hairiest dinosaur they had ever seen. He tried to appear serious but he just couldn't do it and took his degree and sat down and when it was over, he immediately found Chandler and Joey standing next to Phoebe, both poking her in the side and tickling her as she laughed.

"You two are insane," Ross said.

"Oh, congrats sexy dinosaur," Chandler said.

"Sexy hairy dinosaur," Joey said.

"Sexiest and hairiest dinosaur I've ever seen," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry, Ross," Phoebe said, still cracking up.

"It's okay, Pheebs. I know you were provoked."

"It's just...they...don't….let me...stop," Phoebe was laughing so hard, she was trying to catch her breath. Joey and Chandler turned back and continued poking her.

"You two need professional help," Ross said, laughing as Rachel and Monica approached them.

"Congrats, sexy dinosaur," Rachel said which made Joey and Chandler stop poking Phoebe and look at Rachel.

"Sexy dinosaur," both Joey and Chandler said together.

"I tried," Monica said, "I really did but you know as soon as Phoebe starts laughing, these two bozos turn into five year olds."

"T Rex is my homeboy," Joey said.

"I stop for Stegosaurus," Chandler said.

"I know, I know," Ross said.

"Hey, guys," Julie said.

"Julie congrats," Monica said as Julie approached them. Monica hugged her and so did Rachel which made him kind of happy.

"Congratulations, Julie," Rachel said.

"Thank you, Rachel," Julie said, "and Phoebe-"

"I'm so sorry. Will you two stop? I'm pregnant and you're gonna make me pee," Phoebe asked, laughing as she tried smack away Joey and Chandler.

"It's okay, I miss that sound." Julie said. "I wish I could bottle it up and take it with me."

"Me too," Rachel said.

It was then Ross noticed Emily wasn't standing near them. He looked around and noticed Emily standing a bit further away. Ross approached her, looking concerned. She looked angry.

"Hey, why are you over here?" Ross asked.

"'Cause your friends are being really immature. I mean, Chandler and Joey kept heckling and Phoebe with that grating sound-"

"They were just messing around and Phoebe? You think her laugh is grating?"

"It's annoying and they kept trying to make her laugh harder. That's not a laugh, she's trying to get attention," Emily said.

"I love her laugh. It's one of my favorite sounds. It's just so great. How could you not laugh at her when she starts laughing?" Ross asked.

"Maybe it's an American thing," Emily said, "Who is that girl talking to Rachel and Monica?"

"Oh, Julie. I told you about Julie. I dated her before Rachel."

"Oh."

"What's wrong?"

"I just...I don't know...I don't really feel comfortable hanging out with two of your ex girlfriends," Emily said.

"Julie and I went to school together and Rach is one of my best friends."

"Still...I'm just not comfortable."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Ross kept looking back at the group and then at Emily, "well, we're gonna go for lunch to celebrate and...come….it'll be fun."

"I-maybe," Ross said.

"You know, I have a lot to do for our wedding. I have to call my parents and the caterer and stuff and you know, time change...why don't I meet you later," Emily said, leaning in to kiss him.

"Okay, if you're sure."

"I am," Emily said.

They shared another kiss before Emily walked off, Ross watched her leave and went back to the group.

"Where did Emily go?" Monica asked.

"She had to make some calls and stuff for the wedding. Are Rachel and Julie getting along?" Ross asked, noticing that Rachel and Julie were in deep conversation and actually really seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"Yeah. You okay, Ross?" Monica asked.

"I don't know. Just...Emily...she thought Phoebe's laugh was grating?" Ross asked.

"What? Who would think that?" Monica asked.

"I don't know," Ross said.

"Come on, it's your graduation. Let's go," Monica said.

Ross nodded but there was nagging thought that began to bubble in the back of his mind. She thought his friends were immature? Sure, Joey and Chandler were being ridiculous but he secretly got a kick out of them messing with each other and knew that the reason they were amping it up was because Phoebe was laughing so hard. Maybe he was worrying too much or making too much of it. He loved Emily and maybe Joey and Chandler could be more mature and maybe it was uncomfortable for Emily to be around Julie and Rachel, he could see that, so maybe it was what is was.

After his graduation, he attended Lauren's eighth birthday. This year, it was at the Bowlmar Bowling Lanes. She was turning eight and he had been to every single one of her birthdays. He had watched her grow from a newborn to a confident little girl. He sat watching as she was laughing with the two girls he now knew as Rebecca and Haley.

"Thanks for coming," Lizzie said, sitting next to him.

"I wish you could come to the wedding," Ross said.

"I wish you had brought Emily," Lizzie said.

"She didn't want to come," Ross said, recalling an earlier conversation. He had invited Emily to come to Lauren's birthday but she felt it strange and made up some reason to why she could not go.

"Hmmm," Lizzie said.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're gonna be like Miss Know-it-all again, aren't you?" Ross asked.

"No….I would have liked to have met her. That's all."

"She...okay, I'm worried. I mean, at my graduation. She didn't wanna talk to Julie or Rachel because she felt uncomfortable and-"

"I can see that, I guess. Wait a minute, Julie and Rachel were getting along?"

"Yes."

"So weird."

"I know and she thought Chandler and Joey were being immature 'cause they were messing around with me and trying to make Phoebe laugh and Phoebe has this laugh that's unbelievable but I don't know-"

"She doesn't like your friends?"

"No."

"Well, maybe she just needs to warm up to them. Come on, you've known her for three months. Give her time."

"She doesn't think Chandler is funny."

"What? That's the only reason I dated him."

"It's probably the reason I'm still friends with him. He's my Best Man again."

"Good."

"I trust him."

"He's a good person, he just….doesn't always see it."

"Yeah. I'm gonna miss you, Liz. I really am. I don't want you to go. I really don't."

"I know but I have to and promise you'll keep in touch. With Lauren, especially. I promised her you would."

"I will."

"Ross," Lauren said, racing towards them and hugging Ross. He moved over one seat so that she could sit between him and Lizzie. "Ross,so, are you gonna come to Tulsa next year for my birthday?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll bring Ryan," Ross teased.

"No, no," Lauren said.

"We're kinda over Ryan," Lizzie said.

"Can you bring Jonathan Taylor Thomas?" Lauren asked.

"I don't know him but I will try," Ross said.

"Okay but can you also come to Tulsa on Halloween to take me trick or treating?" Lauren said.

"I don't think so. I don't know but you have my address and my phone number. I'm not moving, okay...I'm always gonna be there for you, kid."

Lauren gave him a grin that threw him for a loop. It was a lopsided grin that just reminded him of someone.

"And this is our address and phone number in Tulsa," Lizzie said, reaching into her purse and digging out a sheet of paper with their new information on it. He looked at it, folded it and put it in his pocket. He would miss those two so dearly. It was hard to imagine life without them.

"Thanks and thank you, Liz for your friendship. It's-you've been amazing."

"So have you and I will miss you," Lizzie said, leaning in and giving a quick peck on the cheek. So much was changing in this new life of his. This new chapter of Ross Geller, PhD.

After Lauren's birthday party, Ben's was next. He was turning three and while he hadn't really talked to Carol and Susan about it, he needed to discuss taking Ben to London. He wanted his son there. He had also wanted Emily to come with them but once again she declined.

"I have a lot to do for the wedding," Emily said as they sat near the playground where Ben's birthday party was being held.

"Stop by. I just...it's my son, he's gonna be your step son."

"I know, it's-I don't feel comfortable."

"You didn't feel comfortable with my graduation-"

"Two of your exes were there-"

"Well, Julie was in my class, she was graduating and Rachel has been my best friend for twenty two years….give or take the time we weren't talking, but still….of course they would be there and what about Lauren and Lizzie? You felt uncomfortable?"

"Isn't Lizzie your ex?"

"No. We hooked up a bunch but no, she's a very good friend and Lauren is a terrific kid."

"That's strange and this….Carol is your ex-wife."

"You've met Carol and Susan? You and Susan hung out in London?" Ross said. A few weeks earlier, Susan had been London to shoot a film and she had hung out with Emily. He was under the impression they liked each other, so much so that he started to get worried.

"I know, I know but….it's different now. We're getting married, Ross and-"

"She's gonna be around for a long time. Julie's moved to D.C. and Lizzie's moving to Tulsa but Carol and also Rachel are going to be in my life for a long time. Despite whatever our relationship was, they're still friends."

"I have to plan for the wedding. It's coming up."

"I don't wanna fight," Ross said.

"We're not fighting."

"Okay," Ross said, "and you know, if you want, you can have my sister plan. She planned my first wedding and she's actually pretty good at it. She's nuts but she's good at it," Ross said.

"Oh, well….that would be nice, but I have some friends back home who do that professionally, I think it would be better that way. You know?" Emily asked. "I'm sure she's fantastic, it's just…."

"No, I understand. I'm gonna go to Ben's party," Ross said as he gave Emily another kiss and walked out of the cafe towards the park. He kept getting this foreboding feeling. This feeling in his gut that made him think he should say no but he kept walking. He entered the park and soon found Carol and Susan surrounded by three year olds.

"Daddy," Ben yelled, walking towards him. Ross picked Ben up and held him in the air.

"Hey, who's three today," Ross said.

"Me," Ben said, pointing to himself.

"You made it," Carol said, walking towards them and greeting Ross.

"Of course."

"Where's Emily?"

"She had stuff," Ross said, "but you know, am I taking Ben to London?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"First of all, that's a long trip and you're gonna be busy and-"

"Monica will take care of him," Ross said.

"I know, it's just….I don't feel comfortable with this," Carol said.

"Who cares?"

"I do."

"Sorry, I just want my son at my wedding."

"I know but maybe when you come back and I don't know Emily very well and-"

"She and Susan hung out-"

"They haven't spoken since Susan was in London. I really think he's too little," Carol said.

"Daddy, play," Ben whined as Ross let that sink in. He was disappointed but he wasn't sure he had any choice. He carried Ben back to the group where he helped Ben build block towers and tried to enjoy the time but there was that thought again, he wasn't sure what it was. A sense of doom? A sense that something would go wrong?

He kept ignoring that voice. He ignored it when he, Joey, Monica and Chandler left for London and bid farewell to Phoebe who was getting too pregnant and Rachel who decided to take care of Phoebe. He ignored it as it got louder when the church was in disarray and even more when Rachel suddenly showed up in London. He ignored everything, the wedding would go as planned. He was certain that he want to marry…..Rachel.

At the altar, he said Rachel. He said, "I take thee….Rachel." All eyes were on him, he refused to look at Rachel sitting there. He refused to look anywhere but Emily. He would make this right despite those warning bells now becoming full blown sirens. He corrected himself and he and Emily proceeded with the ceremony. He was now married to a woman who would not leave the bathroom. After the ceremony, Emily locked herself in the bathroom refusing to speak to him leaving a tense reception. He noticed Rachel still in airplane clothes walking towards him cautiously.

"It meant nothing," Ross said, staring at her.

"I know," Rachel said.

"Ross-"

"Why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you really here?" Ross asked.

"For your wedding."

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"If-this-it's your fault. This-"

"What is my fault? You said my name! I did not hold a gun to your head and tell you to do that," Rachel said.

"It meant nothing."

"I know."

"I am not-I don't have any feelings for you," Ross said.

"Neither do I."

"Then why are you here?" Ross asked.

"You invited me asshole."

"You said no."

Ross wasn't sure why he was yelling at Rachel but he was angry. If she had not been there, maybe he would have said the right name? He needed to yell at someone.

"Meanwhile, you're standing here arguing with me while your new wife is locked in the bathroom," Rachel said.

Ross opened his mouth and quickly closed it. He shook his head and stomped off towards the closed bathroom door. He kept pounding on the door, yelling for Emily. Trying to get her to respond but there was no sound coming from the other side of the door.

"She ran out," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" Ross asked, seeing Joey and Rachel standing near there.

"Open the door. She ran out," Rachel said.

"She did not run out, she's not you," Ross said.

"Dude, not cool," Joey said.

Ross said nothing as he quickly bust open the door and sure enough, Emily was gone. Ross simply looked at her and walked off. He had no idea where he was walking but this wedding was the worst. This was almost worse than the one to Carol. Why had Emily agreed to marry him if she was so angry? Why would Emily not talk to him? Why was Rachel there? Why had he not listened to his gut because now he was married to a woman who was no longer on speaking terms with him.

He had spent most of the night looking for Emily and ended up the next day at the airport, hoping she would be there for their honeymoon. Instead, he saw Rachel waiting, surrounded by bags. He felt guilty. He shouldn't have yelled at her. He walked towards her.

"Is this seat taken?" Ross asked.

"Sit," Rachel motioned, grabbing one of her bags off the chair.

"How long were you planning on staying in London?" Ross asked, sitting by her and noticing how many bags she had with her.

"I went shopping."

"Oh….what did you get?"

"Clothes, shoes, accessories….fabric.'

"Fabric?"

"I owe Phoebe a Rachel Karen Green design for abandoning her."

"Hmmm….look, Rach….I'm sorry about what I said and-"

"No, no, Ross….I'm sorry."

"I-I want this to work. I do...and...I'm supposed to go on my honeymoon and-she's not here. She's not-fuck."

"Ross...maybe this was a sign."

"What?"

"No….you guys moved so fast and….okay, I am here and maybe I should not have come but I am not over you yet and it killed me to watch you two move so fast and….are you really over me?"

"I don't think I will ever be over you."

"So, then…."

"I don't know."

"Well, I gotta go find a ticket back home. Hopefully."

"You wanna come with me," Ross said.

"Come with you?" Rachel asked, a little stunned.

"To Greece….on...well, on my honeymoon. It looks like I'll have an extra ticket."

"Ross."

"Please, maybe it'll be good for us. We can talk and be away from the others for a little and just focus on us and decide once and for all what we'll do. We can also sit on the beach and drink all day."

"I would enjoy that."

"So...you wanna come with me?"

"Well...but don't I need ID? Doesn't it say-"

"Come on," Ross said, almost pleading with her and Rachel agreed. They walked towards the gate entrance and Ross waited until Rachel got on the plane. When it was his turn, he heard someone calling his name and turned to see Emily standing there. His eyes widened as Emily turned and ran off, Ross took off after her without realizing. It wasn't until after he had lost Emily and returned to the gate when he realized the flight had left and he had sent Rachel to Greece on their honeymoon….alone.


	37. Chapter 37

**May 1998-November 1998**

Ross ended up back in New York and immediately began trying to reach Emily. He also tried to figure out how to get in touch with Rachel. According to Monica, Rachel had called to let her know that she had landed in Greece and Ross tried to contact the hotel but kept having trouble getting through. Between calling London and calling Greece, he was racking up the long distance. When Rachel finally arrived back in New York, she didn't seem too angry with him although he wondered if it was an act. He wanted to get more information but there wasn't enough time to find out. He needed to reach his wife. He had no idea where she was. The summer was spent calling London. When he wasn't working, he was calling London. He was frantic, apologizing, leaving messages, trying to send gifts. Everything. When they were at the hospital when Phoebe gave birth to her brother's triplets, he took breaks to use the payphone to call London. He was in a fog. Nothing else mattered. He saw nothing outside what was happening, outside his desperate attempt to save his marriage. It seemed to envelope him. He tried to concentrate on work, he was now officially full time. He had reports and things to do but he kept working on finding Emily. He barely spoke with his friends, had no clue what was going on with them because he just wanted to focus on what had happened, on getting Emily back but she refused to speak to him.

Finally, after five months of silence, Emily finally returned his call. He had given her numbers for his office, his apartment, Monica and Rachel's, Joey's and Chandler's, everywhere he hung out. He had even left the number of Central Perk. He wasn't sure where she would call but he wanted to cover all bases and when she did, he was at Monica and Rachel's. He was complaining to Monica and Chandler about Emily. Rachel was out as were Phoebe and Joey. It was the three of them as Monica picked up the phone and her eyes widened as she heard Emily's voice. She handed the phone to Ross who immediately walked into Rachel's room for a more private conversation.

"Emily," Ross began.

"So I've tracked you down. Stop contacting my family."

"Emily, you're my wife...we need to work this out. It's been five months."

"You said another girl's name, that was humiliating. Okay and then you went on our honeymoon with her."

"I didn't go on my honeymoon with Rachel. She ended up….going alone."

"Well, that's rude."

"Not really. Emily, if you were this pissed off then why did you continue with the ceremony?"

"This is my fault?"

"No, it's not. I'm sorry. Nothing is happening with Rachel. I-I do not have feelings for her. It's just….this is crazy. I have not seen you in five months. We got married. Someone else went on our honeymoon. Please come back and we can work this out. Remember Vermont?"

Emily let out a snort, "did we rush?"

"No. No, this is right. You and me, together."

"Happy belated birthday, by the way."

"Thanks but you know what would be the greatest gift?"

"What?"

"You being here. You said 'I do'...so let's do it."

"I don't...I can't be around Rachel."

"I know."

"I don't want you to be around her, either."

"What?"

"I don't trust you with her. Things happen when you're with her."

"What happens?'

"Didn't you cheat on Julie with her and your ex, Bonnie, you also cheated with her and-and-didn't you have a picture of Rachel in your room? Oh my G-d."

"That was a long time ago."

"You're in Monica and Rachel's apartment."

"Monica's my sister."

"Where are you?

"Monica and Rachel's apartment."

"Ross."

"It doesn't matter, Emily. I want you here. This is ridiculous. If I wanted Rachel, I wouldn't be trying this hard to get you back. Please, come here and we can work this out and you want me too or else you would not have said 'I do'. You said 'I do'...some part of you wants this marriage."

Emily was silent on the other line and he was wondering if he had gotten to her. If maybe he had convinced her to come to New York. This could not end. Not yet.

"Can you come to London?" Emily asked.

"No. No, I'm sorry. My son is here. I graduated five months ago and just started as a full time employee at the museum. I can't. I'm sorry."

Emily let out what sounded like a long drawn out sigh. His heart was racing, wondering what her response would me.

"Okay."

"What?" Ross asked, not sure he had heard correctly.

"I'll come to New York."

"Good. Oh, that's….good…"

"But...I have some rules."

"Rules?"

"I-yeah….look...I-I-need to trust you again. You said her name."

"It meant nothing. She is a friend. I've known her for years."

"You were out of contact with her for a long time," Emily said.

"Well, yeah. Um...she...yeah…"

"Maybe you can stop being in contact with her."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I want to trust you and I want….I think...we could start over and I know I'm asking a lot but...look, you already have two separate groups of friends, one that has Rachel in it and one that doesn't and-"

"What are you getting at?" Ross asked.

"Start new. You won't be giving up a lot and-"

"You want me to give up the group of friends that has Rachel in it?" Ross asked.

"Yes."

"That group also includes my sister. You want me to give up seeing my sister?"

"If she's around Rachel."

His heart sank as Emily began to let him know what else she was expecting. Maybe he should move out of his apartment? For the time being, Ross could stay with her cousin. Would that be okay? He could sell some of his things? He could move. He would be moving far from work and far either group of his friends. His mind kept trying to comprehend all that was being asked of him. It was a laundry list of things but he wanted this marriage to work. It had to work. He had failed at the last one and the idea of having two failed marriages by age twenty nine shook him. He wanted to get this right. He wanted to sort out what had happened, to move past Rachel. To make it work with Emily.

"Ross?"

He snapped back to the conversation when he heard Emily calling his name.

"Yeah."

"Well? Can you...is it okay? Look, we're starting new and-"

"I do love my apartment though. It's close to work and-"

"And Rachel."

"Really?" Ross asked, trying to hide his annoyance.

"My cousin lives in a place called, White Plains."

"That's almost an hour away."

"Yeah?"

"I can get a lot of reading done," Ross said, rather reluctantly.

"So?"

"Yeah. Great. As long as you come to New York."

"I will….as soon as you move into my cousins. I want you away from those people."

"Those people or Rachel?"

"Well, yeah."

Ross looked around Rachel's room. He stared at the pictures on her wall. There were plenty of the two of them together. He loved her room. He loved being with her. She had been such a big part of his life. Sure there had been a brief break in their friendship but even then, he still loved her but this was his wife. He had done this, he had made a commitment and he wanted to make it work.

So he moved. He packed up his apartment, his life and moved. He sold things off that Emily wanted him to sell. He did what she asked. Maybe once she got her, he could get her to loosen up. He could get her to understand that she had nothing to worry about. He loved his apartment and would miss it. He would get over it. The marriage. That was his focus. He did everything Emily asked, putting off the one final thing which was telling Rachel that they could no longer be friends. It killed him to do this. It was now the end of October and he sat across from Rachel, her eyes brimming with tears as he told her what Emily wanted.

"She doesn't want you to see me anymore?" Rachel asked. "But we're not together."

"I know, I know, Rachel….I told her...I just….I don't know..I need to save my marriage. I need-"

"You already told her yes, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Wow."

"What am I supposed to do?" Ross asked.

"Say the right name at your wedding," Rachel said.

She was angry and he knew she would be. She had every single right to be.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do?" Ross asked.

" I'm gonna go."

"It's your apartment."

"I'm gonna go anyway," Rachel said as she got up and walked out, leaving him alone. He hated hurting her. He needed to leave, he wished Lizzie was still around and he could talk to her or maybe Carol but Carol wouldn't care. He needed to leave. He reached for Monica's phone and made a call to Jonathan, one of the friends Emily would be fine with him hanging out with and immediately set up a pizza lunch with him and Sam.

"I don't know man, she is asking you to give up an awful lot," Jonathan said over a pitcher of beers and pizza. Sam seem to agree.

"I mean, it was dumb. Say the correct name but….she still went through with the wedding," Sam said.

"Chandler and Joey are saying the same thing that Emily's asking a whole lot. I had to move out of my apartment and to he cousin's place. It's an hour away from work. I used to be able to walk to work from my apartment. I loved that place. I just….and I have to give up friends. I mean, Rachel is my best friend. Despite whatever crap we've put each other through, she will always be my best friend and the rest of them….Monica is my sister and-"

"Is it worth it?" Jonathan asked. "All this change."

"If it keeps me married," Ross said.

"But are you happy?" Jonathan asked.

"'Cause you seem miserable," Sam said.

"I like Emily and...I love Emily but….why did she say 'I do' and then run? She had every right to be pissed but she went through with it and now...I don't know. No, I'm not happy. I want my apartment back. I don't want to give up my friendships….but I also want to make my marriage work."

Jonathan and Sam couldn't offer much help. Their advice seemed to mirror Chandler and Joey's. He wished he could go back, he could have said the right name but why did he say, 'Rachel'. He didn't still have feelings for her? Or maybe he did? He would always love her, always think the world of her and she had really just reentered his life. In the four years since she had been back, they had been through so much and being without her just seemed….impossible. Emily wanted so much from him and he was doing all he could but there was still no ending, she hadn't even given him a date when she was coming back. Was he fighting for nothing? Was he changing his life for something that would end up never working anyway?

He soon found himself back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. He walked into see Monica making macaroni and cheese and Joey, Chandler and Phoebe playing 'throw stuff in a bucket' which was a favorite of Joey and Chandler's and a fairly simple game which simply involved throwing things into a bucket.

"Oh, good. You got my message?" Monica asked as he walked in.

"What? Oh, no...I was just….walking around. Rachel here?"

"No but she told us what happened. Ross…" Monica said.

"I really don't want to talk about. What are you making?"

"Macaroni and cheese...and fajitas," Monica said. "It's a joint Chandler-and-Ross party."

"What?"

"I left you a message."

"I'm here, tell me what you said."

"I felt bad for you so I'm making you your favorite and Chandler...he's been sober for twenty months and we all forgot," Monica said.

Ross looked over at Chandler just as he was throwing some rolled up socks into the bucket. In all the craziness, he had forgotten. It killed him to know he had forgotten and soon a thought triggered. If he went through with Emily's demands, if he kept going through with them, he'd be losing himself. He'd be losing five people that meant more him than anything. He was proud of his friend, even though he had his doubts that sobriety would stick, he still made it. Ross walked over towards Chandler and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Congrats, man. Twenty months."

"Thanks. It's not a big deal though," Chandler said.

"Yeah, it is….and I'm sorry I forgot," Ross said.

"It's okay, you've got a lot on your mind."

"Still…." Ross said.

"Wanna play?" Joey asked, handing Ross a ball of socks. Ross nodded as he threw the socks into the bucket. He would miss this, miss playing. As he grabbed another roll of socks off the couch, he heard Phoebe starting to laugh. He looked over and noticed Joey and Chandler poking her in the side, tickling her. He looked over at Monica and back at the trio. He couldn't do this. He couldn't give them up.

"Hey, guys," Rachel said as she walked in and placed her shopping bags on the table. She and Ross exchanged a look as Monica told her she was making dinner. He watched as Rachel declined and Joey, Phoebe and Chandler were begging her to stay.

"Emily would be furious if she knew I was here," Rachel said.

"I'll take the fall for it," Chandler said. "It's partially a dinner for me."

"You?" Rachel asked.

"He's been clean for twenty months, we all forgot," Phoebe said.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said, covering her mouth. "I forgot too. Chandler, I'm so proud of you. I wish I had bought you something. Do you like capri pants?"

"Shockingly enough... no, seriously, Rachel, I want you here. If Emily finds out then I will explain it to her," Chandler said.

Ross watched Rachel give Chandler hug. He couldn't do this. He couldn't give up on them and maybe his friends were right, Emily was asking way too much from him. Too many rules, yes he had messed up but he was paying for it in ways he had never imagined.

Emily called Monica and Rachel's about an hour into the dinner and he was beginning to regret ever having given Emily all the numbers. She was calling every single day, leaving messages everywhere and it was getting to be too much. The group tried to play it off that Rachel wasn't there but it was when Emily said that Ross knew better than to be hanging out with Rachel that he had had enough. Rachel was his friend, he was an adult and he admitted Rachel was with them. He immediately took the phone and took Emily off speaker to talk with her.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Chandler asked.

"No, man. I'm not-this isn't your battle. You already fought yours. Twenty months ago. This should be your night and I don't want you taking the fall for this," Ross said as he grabbed the phone and walked out onto the balcony. Chandler shouldn't be taking the blame. "Look Emily-"

"Clearly, you can't keep your hands off her or be away from her."

"Emily, I have sacrificed everything for you. I am cutting friends out of my life, I've moved and….I don't even know when you're even coming to New York. You have to trust me. You've been in London for five months. We've been married for five months and….if something were to happen with Rachel, it would have happened already."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"Emily."

"I think I want to divorce."

"What?"

"I'm-I don't know. I keep thinking of you with her and I-"

"I gave up my home for you. I'm ending friendships for you-"

"It's not enough."

"Not enough."

"I don't trust you. I think I made a horrible mistake," Emily said.

"No, no...Emily...Rachel is just a friend. I am sorry for what happened and...I will fix this. I have been fixing this."

"It's over Ross."

And with that, he heard a click. His heart sank and he felt nauseous. It was freezing outside and he felt the cold to his bones. His marriage was over. Second marriage finished before turned thirty. He turned around and looked at the group staring back at him. He stepped back into the apartment and was immediately surrounded by the rest of the group.

"My marriage is over," Ross said, his voice barely above a whisper as Monica hugged him and led him to the table. He sat down, still absorbing everything. "I gave everything up. I have nothing. I sold my things. I moved out. I have…"

"At least you got us?" Joey said, making it sound more like a question.

"No, I've always wanted you," Ross said.

"Why didn't you let me take the fall?" Chandler asked.

"'Cause nothing would have been enough. I couldn't...two divorces. I just...all I wanted was someone. You know and thought this could be it. Yeah, there were issues but-"

"You'll find someone, Ross. You will. Just take a break," Monica said.

"You want me to get Die Hard?" Chandler asked.

"I'll make the smoothies," Monica said.

Ross smiled as his friends went about making him feel better or at least tried. It was over. Chandler got the Die Hard movies and Monica made more food and declared a sleep over but all he could think of was Emily. Had she ever planned to come back? Was all this for nothing?

After the rest of the group passed out, Ross retreated to the balcony. He had made the right choice. At least he thought so. This was not how he wanted to start off being twenty nine.

"Ross?"

"Hey," he said, noticing Rachel walk out. He wiped a tear away from his face, not even realizing he had been crying. Rachel slowly approached him and placed a blanket around both of them.

"Are you crying?" Rachel asked.

"I am twenty-nine and I have been divorced twice. I mean, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gone to London. I should have stayed with Phoebe, if I hadn't gone-"

"I probably still would have said your name. This isn't your fault, this is mine."

"Can I say something? I also think it's Emily's."

"What?"

"I mean, okay...you should not have said my name but if she was this pissed off to give you all these ultimatums and refuse to even come out here and….why the hell did she say 'I do'. I mean, I, at least, ran out of my wedding before I said 'I do'. I didn't put Barry through marrying him and then divorcing him. I think what Emily did was awful. Yes, say the right name...but come on, don't….what she put you through-"

"She had the right to be pissed," Ross said although he wasn't going to let on that he agreed with her.

"Yes, she did….don't say 'I do'."

"Yeah….and Rach, I wouldn't have cut you out. I could never do that."

"You were gonna try."

"It wouldn't have lasted. I need you in my life, Green."

"Same here….we can't get enough of each other."

"Do you think we will ever get us right?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. Not now, though but I do love you, Ross. I love you a lot and I'm sorry."

"You got a trip to Greece. How was that trip, really?" Ross asked, Rachel had been vague about the trip.

"Well, it sucked at first….I spent most of the time sobbing by the pool, but the last day was good, the last night was really good."

Ross gave her look. She had a weird on her face that he knew well, "what was his name?"

"Adonis."

"Of course it was."

"What? He showed me Greece. I'm part Greek."

"You're Jewish."

"I can be both. I have Greek relatives. So there, Adonis was a gentleman and he was….so nice."

Ross grinned. He couldn't cut Rachel out. He loved her too much. Life without her didn't exist. Maybe Emily had a reason to worry but it didn't matter anymore. Rachel would always be where he secretly wanted his story to end.

"You really are a slut," Ross teased which made Rachel laugh.

"I think I kind of am. I spent a long time trying to fight that, but yeah….I think I just might be."

Ross laughed as he wrapped his arm around her, holding her close to him. She always smelled like coconuts. He could imagine her in Greece, being seduced some Adonis guy. She always had a story and he loved hearing them.

"Well, you are my favorite slutty cheerleader," Ross said.

"Well, you, my friend, are my favorite Dino Divorcer."

"That sounds like I married and divorced a dinosaur. Maybe….wait, what do you call Chandler?" Ross asked.

"Prince Loser…..oh, Ross, the Divorce Boss."

"We will have to discuss….what do you think will look best on a t-shirt?" Ross asked.

"Not sure. You would marry a dinosaur though."

"I would not."

"Yes, you would. If given a choice between Uma Thurman and a T-Rex, who would you marry?" Rachel asked.

"Uma….A T-Rex has some severe attitude problems," Ross said which made Rachel laugh. He loved that laugh, it wasn't quite as spectacular as Phoebe's but it was still perfect. "Honestly, Rach...I'm glad you ended up having a good time in Greece."

"Adonis and I did it in every spot of that honeymoon suite."

"Good for you…..his name really was Adonis?"

"Yep."

"Is he coming to visit?"

"Nope."

Rachel would excite him far more than Emily ever would. Sure, maybe a few years ago, he would have been furious that Rachel had hooked up with a random Greek guy but now he found it amusing and it made him curious. She was out of his life for six years, what had she done in those years? He immediately flashed back to that layover in Amsterdam. He had been on the street waiting outside the brothel where Chandler was doing stuff he really didn't want to know about and he saw Rachel, wearing a wig, and being carried piggy back by a guy whom he now assumed was probably Barry. What had she done that night?

"You know, the closer we get, the more I think that you may have out crazed Chandler during the six years you weren't friends with us."

"I was in a serious relationship for six years."

"Still think you have some stories you haven't told us."

Rachel merely grinned and gave a little shrug. Ross wanted to press further but he also wanted to hold her. He wanted to stay there with her forever.

"You're gonna be okay, Ross."

"I hope so."

"You will. Hey, you saved me. Let me return the favor."

"You being here is perfect."

"Hmmm, you know I think we have found the kryptonite of Science Boy," Rachel mused.

"What?" Ross asked, curious as to her train of thought.

"Marriage."

"Thanks, Rach."

"I think as you recover, I'll come up with a few new ideas for Science Boy and Two Face."

"No, no….who put you in charge?" Ross asked.

"Me. I'm in it. You named me Two Face."

"What else should I have named you?" Ross asked.

"Sandra Bullock."

Ross laughed as Rachel continued to give him her ideas for the comic. He kept turning down all her ideas and she kept giving them. He would forever remember that moment, be grateful for her, for her trying.


	38. Chapter 38

**November 1998-December 1998**

A few days after Emily had decided to divorce him, his life was dealt another blow when Emily's cousin kicked him out of the place he was staying in. He had no home now. No home. No marriage. He just felt everything beginning to spiral as he walked into Central Perk. Chandler and Joey were sitting and talking about something. He wasn't sure what and he didn't particularly care.

"Hi," Ross said.

"Wow...that's a loaded hi," Chandler said.

"I'm homeless. Remember how I was living in Emily's cousin's place...he kicked me out. Apparently because we're no longer family," Ross said, collapsing into a chair.

"You should've let me take the fall...I said I would tell Emily-" Chandler said.

"No, no...I'm not...no...and it was ridiculous. Rachel is my best friend," Ross said. But...I have no home."

"You can stay with us until you get back on your feet," Joey offered before looking at Chandler. "Is that alright?"

"Sure, yeah...of course," Chandler said.

Ross breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for this. Okay, so he had a home, one crisis averted. He was crashing on the couch although it was a little strange living with them. Chandler seemed to be going to the bathroom quite a bit and sometimes was woken up by him. He wondered if Chandler should be going to a doctor but decided maybe not to press. He hadn't lived with Chandler in years and he realized that living with Joey and Chandler sometimes felt like he was living with two twelve year olds. They were often messing with each other, playing around and it was often loud.

"You're living with Joey and Chandler?" Monica asked over breakfast one Sunday. He had only been living with Joey and Chandler a few weeks when Monica decided on a brother-sister brunch. She felt they needed to connect and he didn't blame her.

"Yeah. I'm twenty nine years old and I've been divorced twice….my life is crap."

"I'm sorry."

"I will never get married again."

"Don't say that….maybe you and Rachel will finally make it work?" Monica asked.

"Probably not. What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing Ross….Carol was a lesbian and...well, you shouldn't have said Rachel's name at the altar so maybe Emily's was your fault-"

"But Rachel should not have flown to London to stop the wedding. We were on a break," Ross tried.

"You're right. She shouldn't have done that...but okay I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked Rachel. What do you want from her? You two have this intense relationship and it's on and it's off and you get jealous and you were either on a break or not on a break or-"

"We were on a break." Ross interjected.

"I don't care and then she gets crazed and okay, that guy, Joshua...I'm just glad that guy didn't pull out a restraining order. So what do you want?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I do love her. She's beautiful and smart and funny...and brave. Really strong, much stronger than I ever gave her credit for but...I don't know what I want."

"Well, you two really need to figure it out and fast."

"I know…..but at least I have a place to stay. I'm very grateful for Joey and Chandler."

"Me too but….okay but those two boys have been living really well together for a long time. You're a guest so you have to not annoy them," Monica warned.

"I won't annoy them. I was Chandler's roommate for four years."

"And you annoyed him," Monica grinned.

"I did not."

"Really?"

Ross let out a grunt and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Okay, yes, he may have annoyed Chandler but it wasn't Ross' fault completely.

"What does he know? He was drunk for four years."

Monica laughed, "do not annoy them...Joey and Chandler are a team, you know that. If you annoy them both, they will come after you...in ways that I personally will probably find very funny, but you know that's just me. Actually, you know what...go ahead and annoy them. I kinda wanna see what they'd do."

Ross gave her a look. She did have a point. Maybe he'd talk with Joey and Chandler later.

"So, what about you?" Ross asked, changing the subject.

"What about me?"

"Work, relationship….anything? I need some happy news. I don't wanna talk about my life anymore."

"Work is good and um….no...no new relationships," Monica said.

"Hmmm," Ross let out a moan as he continued eating. Maybe it would be fun to live with Joey and Chandler, he would know more of what was going on. He had missed so much while trying to talk to Emily that maybe now this divorce could be a silver lining. He would be able to hear the gossip.

When he got home, Joey and Chandler were playing video games when Ross suggested they talk. Ross grabbed one of the stools and faced the two as Chandler pressed pause on the game and the two turned to face him. They would discuss the living situations, that would be the topic and Chandler decided to kick it off first.

"Remember in college when I told you that I would take a bat to the humidifier if you didn't get rid of it?" Chandler asked.

"It's a much better humidifier," Ross said, remembering it quite well. He had made that threat many times, but he liked the humidifier.

"I have a much better bat," Chandler grinned.

"You wouldn't-"

Chandler immediately got up and walked into his room, only to come back a few seconds later with a bat.

"You really wanna try me?" Chandler asked.

"Alright, you win. I'll turn it off," Ross said, unplugging the humidifier and returning to his stool. Chandler walked back to his chair, still clutching his bat.

"How did you two ever survive college together?" Joey asked.

"I was his designated driver," Ross said.

"You know, I saved your ass many times," Chandler said.

"Hardly enough," Ross said before thinking, 'and when?'

"Hey...I drove you cross country...right?"

"With Kip and Gandalf making fun of me about how I couldn't drink the entire way, right?" Ross asked.

"Oh, wait...Chan, you told me about that? The Disneyland trip," Joey said.

"You told him?" Ross asked, sounding nervous. He had told Joey? That was the most humiliating thing ever. Why had Chandler told him that.

"Yes, but-" Chandler said.

"I was working at Disney when you were there. I quit after I had to clean up the shit on Space Mountain," Joey said.

"You told him I did that?" Ross said, his eyes widening.

"What?" Joey asked.

"No, Ross. I said that Kip had done that," Chandler said, enunciating every word. Ross' face began to turn bright red. While he was grateful Chandler had not sold him out, he realized what he had just admitted. It had been Joey there that day. Joey had been working at Disney. Joey had been cleaning up his shit.

"Oh, gross...that was you?" Joey asked.

"No, no...it wasn't...it-"

"Oh, that's sick. Maybe you should move into that tiny apartment," Joey said referring to a ridiculously small apartment that Chandler and Joey had tried in vain to get Ross interested in.

"I-I-you were there?" Ross asked.

"I found out when Joey had moved in. Remember how I tried to hook up with Snow White and she ended up walking off with some other guy. Joey was the other guy," Chandler said.

"I was trying my luck in California. But the day I had to clean up your shit, I moved back here to the apartment with Shane and the Swedish Flight Attendants," Joey said.

"I had said Kip had done it because he was going to meet you," Chandler said.

"Thanks...okay, but this...you can't tell the girls," Ross said. That was an awful day.

"Only if I can break the humidifier," Joey said. Ross let out a sigh and nodded. Chandler handed Joey his bat. Joey got up and began smashing the humidifier to pieces. Ross let out a grin as Joey was enjoying it way too much. Maybe it was a sign. The breaking of the humidifier...it was a new start. Ross did have to move out of the way though when some of those pieces started to fly upward.

"Did you really think I'd tell Joey that it was you that shit on the ride?" Chandler asked.

"You guys are close."

"Okay correction, do you think I'd actually tell him that and if I had, don't you think he would have said something by now?" Chandler asked.

"True. So how much do you want me to contribute? Rent, utilities…."

"I'm not taking your money, Ross."

"I'm not doing that."

"You're sleeping on my couch."

"Okay, how about I pay you for a third of the utilities."

"Deal," Chandler said before looking at Joey, "dude, I think it's dead."

"Just wanted to make sure," Joey said. He stopped beating the humidifier, dropped the bat and headed into the bathroom before looking at Ross with a grin, "hey, Ross….next time, do it in here."

"Shut up, asshole," Ross said which made Joey laugh before disappearing into the bathroom.

"You're gonna be alright, you know that. Yeah, we'll mess with you but you know how this will end," Chandler said.

"How?"

"Science Boy and Two Face will eventually find their way back to each other and hump their way into the sunset."

"You know, she knows. She started pitching ideas," Ross said.

"Oh, she can't do that."

"I know. By the way, Joey was the one that stole Snow White from you that day?" Ross asked.

"Still bitter."

"I understand."

"Wanna play. Joe's gonna be in there for awhile," Chandler said.

"Sure," Ross said as he walked towards Joey's, "oh, wait should we clean up the-"

"Wait," Chandler said when suddenly the door flew open and there was Monica, standing there, glaring at them.

"What the hell-why-oh-is that the humidifier?" Monica asked.

"Yep. Broom's in the closet," Chandler said, pointing.

"I know, I'm on it," Monica said, walking off towards the closet. Ross laughed as he sat in the chair next to Chandler and began to play video games with Chandler.

Thanksgiving was low key this year, that seemed to be for the best. Monica had decided to just have dinner for the six of them. Ross still felt depressed and he was in the joyous mood but soon storytime amongst the group made things even less joyous. Rachel had pushed for it, to relive those two Thanksgivings and for what, he would have no idea. Chandler discovered the truth. Chandler had called Monica fat and the next year, his toe got cut off and by December, he was spiraling. That whole Thanksgiving had sucked and Ross wondered why Rachel felt that story was necessary. After hearing the story, Chandler got pissed and stormed out of the apartment, Monica followed.

"Why would you bring that up?" Ross asked.

Rachel opened her mouth and quickly shut it as Monica stepped back into the apartment.

"Rachel, I didn't want you to tell that story," Monica said.

"What? It's a funny story," Rachel said.

Ross gave her a look. What had been funny about it? He had also walked outside to see Rachel vandalize Chandler's car. Where was the funny part?

"He developed a drug addiction after that story," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"After that incident, they gave him pain meds. He got hooked. He almost flunked out of college," Ross said although he wasn't sure why. She knew this.

"That's why I don't like to tell that story. Because if I hadn't of...then he never would've-" Monica said, tears filling her eyes. "I caused him to become an addict."

"Monica, I keep telling you. You didn't cause that," Ross said.

"I did, Ross. I caused him to go off the deep end, I almost caused him to almost flunk out of school...I...he almost lost everything because I wanted to get revenge," Monica cried.

Ross got up and ran to her side and hugged her as she cried.

"You cannot blame yourself for that. You did not cause him to become an addict," Ross said, staring at Monica.

"I'll go talk to him," Rachel said, getting up.

"No, let me," Phoebe said, standing up, "I think I might get it."

Phoebe walked out of the apartment. Monica and Ross stopped hugging and Monica looked at Rachel who was looking very upset.

"Rachel, how do you not remember that Thanksgiving," Monica said.

"I do...I thought it was funny and I-"

"I also called you right before winter break and told you that he was dying. Don't you remember that? I told you to come and help and you said you were going to Vail with Barry and you also said to let him die because no one would miss him. Do you remember that?" Monica asked.

"I don't. I'm sorry," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper. Ross didn't buy that at all. He knew she remembered. How could she possibly forget.

"He became addict because of me," Monica said.

"He did not," Ross said.

"It runs in his family. He grew up around booze and drugs," Joey said.

"I...I just….I messed everything up," Monica said.

"Messed what up?" Ross asked.

"I'm gonna go talk to Chandler, I'll be right back," Rachel said as she walked out of the apartment and Monica walked towards the table and began clearing the table.

"Mon?" Ross asked.

"I don't wanna discuss it," Monica said.

Ross nodded and walked to the couch, plopping himself next to Joey.

"You wanna watch the game?" Joey asked.

"Yep."

They began watching in silence. Soon, Phoebe returned and she and Phoebe decided to get coffee. Ross declined, wanting to just stay. He lay on the couch and must have fallen asleep because soon he woke up to the sound of the front door closing. Monica must have gone to Chandler's apartment. Ross changed the channel and began watching some documentary when about ten minutes later, Rachel walked in and sat next to him.

"Why didn't you go get coffee with Phoebe and Joey?"

"Wasn't in the mood. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. How are you?" Rachel asked.

"Tired. Drained. I want this year to be over."

"I know. 1999 will be much better."

"You know what my New Year's Resolution is?" Ross asked.

"What?"

"No marriages in '99."

Rachel laughed as she slowly nodded. She and Ross high-fived each other as he turned back to the television and began watching, she snuggled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around her as they continued watching in silence.

"By the way, Rach….you know what happened that Thanksgiving. I called you. Mon called you. I also saw you vandalize his car. Why did you think that would be that would be a good Thanksgiving story?"

"I don't know. Maybe I thought you guys had talked about it. Maybe I wanted to get everything out into the open? I don't know. Mon's talking to him now."

"Should I go in and talk to him?" Ross asked.

"No, no….no...Mon's good at comforting him. Let her do it."

"Yeah, she's good. Alright."

Rachel continued snuggling up next to him as he watched the documentary on dinosaurs. He was ready for 1999 to begin. He was ready for this whole nightmare that had become 1998 to end.

Life decided to throw him one more curveball before the year had ended. He had begun at the Natural History Museum seven years earlier. He had been a student there and had just started as a full time employee when he left to get married. His work was suffering, he knew that. He was struggling. It was now December and in the seven months that he had been an official employee, he got married, tried to save his marriage and now was getting divorced. When his boss, Donald, called him into his office he had a feeling he knew what was going to be discussed.

"You've been going through a lot and-"

"I know, I know...I am sorry that my work hasn't been what you've expecting. It will get better. I promise," Ross said.

"I think...I think you need a break. Look, we offered you the full time position because we didn't want to lose you but we've gotten reports of you emotional outbursts-"

"What outbursts?" Ross asked.

"Markus Lyons-"

"He's an idiot. How hard is it to use a copy machine and not eat people's food out of the fridge and-"

"He's still complaining."

"He's still an idiot."

"We're gonna ask...well not really ask….but request you take a sabbatical-"

"I don't need a sabbatical. Look, I'm getting a divorce. Nothing I haven't been through already."

"Let's see, it's December 10th now. We have those last two weeks off anyway, so think of it as an extended Winter Break-"

"I don't need a break."

"So you'll take your sabbatical and we'll meet in….let's say we'll meet to discuss this further in February."

"February? I don't need a break," Ross said, starting to sound upset.

"It'll be a nice break. Look, it's making people uncomfortable and you're going through so much and….I mean, you even filed a change of address form. Twice?"

"I don't need a break. Do not hear what I'm saying? I am fine. I don't need to take a break. Okay, yes, things are a tad crazy right now but I am fine, I am able to do my job. My G-d, is everyone here an idiot?" Ross yelled before realizing what he just said, "sorry."

"I'll see you in February, Geller."

Ross nodded and slowly walked out of the museum. His life was officially crumbling. Now he had lost every part of his identity, his home, his job, his marriage. It was about fifteen below zero in the streets of New York, snow was ankle deep but he didn't care. He no longer cared. Nothing was right. He couldn't even keep his relationship with Rachel. He kept walking and walking, not sure where he was even walking too until he soon found himself in front of Bloomingdales. He opened the door and walked towards where he knew Rachel's office was. As he approached it, Rachel opened the door clearly headed to lunch. She was shocked to see him.

"Ross, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked.

"I lost my job."

"What?"

"I've lost my marriage, my home and now my job."

"Oh, honey."

Rachel immediately wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as he lowered himself so that his head rested on her shoulder. He wasn't sure if he should cry or scream or yell or what he should do. Any emotion seemed wrong.

"You getting lunch?" Ross asked, speaking into her neck.

"I was just going to go to the Burke next door and get something to take back to my desk. You wanna come?"

Ross nodded as he stood up a bit straighter. Rachel kept her arm firmly around him as they walked off towards Burke. He didn't know what to say and Rachel didn't say much either. 1998 was turning out to be the worst year ever as it was ending with everything he had ever wanted simply exploding in his face.


	39. Chapter 39

**January 1999-February 1999**

Laying on Chandler and Joey's couch, he wasn't sure how he got himself here. Actually, he did know how he got there and he wasn't sure how he could move forward. Joey tried, there were those prank calls to Chandler's office which were fun for a bit but other than that, nothing was thrilling to him. Nothing excited him. He just wanted to do nothing. During the day, no one was home and he was lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes Joey joined him when he had no auditions or Phoebe might when she had a break in the day but Chandler, Monica and Rachel were gone all day and he lay there. Staring at the ceiling.

"Is it really that interesting up there?" Joey asked, walking into the apartment carrying a stack of bills, he threw his backpack on the counter and walked towards Ross, sitting next to him.

"No, no...it's just-how was your audition?" Ross asked, sitting up.

"Ehhh, it went," Joey said. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing. I hate this. I really just hate this."

"Did you space things out?"

"I didn't get the mail today."

"Chandler likes it if we get it every day. He enjoys paying crap on time. I leave the bills for him," Joey said, separating the bills from the mail and tossing them onto the table.

"What if we paid the utilities and rent and gave him a break this month?" Ross asked, offering.

"Why?"

"What?"

"We're unemployed. He's not."

"I'm on sabbatical."

"Whatever you wanna call it….this is weird. You got mail," Joey said, tossing him an envelope. Ross grabbed it and ripped it open. "You the hell knows you live here?"

"Family, friends, Emily."

"Emily?"

"Well, yeah….we're divorcing and she won't come here and I won't go there. So we're mailing each other things and sending copies to lawyers and….she is getting married," Ross stopped, staring at the letter in front of him. He couldn't believe what he was reading. Emily needed to speed up the divorce process because she was engaged. They had officially broken up two months earlier.

"Hmmm, that's quick. Guess she likes it fast. Huh, well, she wouldn't be a match for me."

"Do you hear what you say sometimes?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Emily is getting married. We just broke up."

"Yeah, dude, you dated her for like a month and then married her. She's not the slow and steady type."

"Why do you speak?" Ross asked.

"What? Be glad you're done and it's not you. She's some other asshole's problem now," Joey said.

"When Chandler's coming home? He's so much better at this," Ross said, motioning between himself and Joey.

"Yeah, no he's not. Besides I think he has an office thing tonight so it's just you and me, bud….at least until six. Then I gotta go….I'm taking out some chick I met at the coffee house. Lexxi with two 'x's' and an 'i' and oh, look," Joey said, grabbing a napkin out of his back pocket and showing it to him, "Lexxi has a heart over the 'i'. I'm so gonna get laid tonight. Hey, you want me to ask if she has a friend."

"I think I'll go talk to Monica," Ross said, getting up and walking out the door. Maybe Monica would help or maybe give him a snack. He took a cab to Alessandro's and after he was seated, waited for Monica. A few minutes later, she approached him in her white hat and chef's coat.

"Hey, Ross….you okay?"

"Can you sit?"

"Not really."

"Can you make me fajitas?"

"At my work, you order off the menu," Monica said, tossing the menu to him. He picked it up and glanced it over.

"Barbeque chicken pizza."

"Perfect. What's wrong?"

"Emily's getting married."

"Oh my G-d."

"Yep, she wants to speed up the divorce. Look, you wanna hang out after work tonight? Chandler's got a work event and Joey's got a date and-"

"Oh, I can't," Monica said.

"Why not?"

"I-I….I have a-I have a date."

"Really?" Ross asked.

"It's nothing...it's a...a date with a guy...I met him at...uh….the coffee shop. I met him there. He's just a guy. It's...there's nothing to tell."

"Oh."

"So, I'll get your pizza."

"You know what, I'm not hungry anymore," Ross said as he got up and walked out and continued walking. He wasn't sure where he was going. Emily was gone, Lizzie was gone, everyone was gone.

He wasn't sure how far he had walked but soon he had found himself in a place he had never been to before. He felt strangely disoriented as he looked around and realized. He was in Chelsea, almost three miles from the apartment.

"Ross?"

Ross jumped hearing his name and looked around to see Janice walking towards him, confused. As was he. He had not heard or spoken to Janice since well Chandler decided to go to Yemen.

"Janice. Hi, Janice…"

"What are you doing here?"

"I walked here."

"Really? Wow...working out?"

"Unemployed...and divorced...and living with Chandler and Joey."

"Wait, Chandler? You're living with Chandler?"

"Oh," Ross said, his heart dropping a little. He felt instantly awful but he was in no mood to cover for his friend. "He never went to Yemen. I mean, he went to Yemen but not for the reason you think he did."

"Hmmm," Janice said, slowly nodding as Ross tried to gauge her reaction and soon he got it. Tears began to well up in her eyes and quickly fall down her face.

"Janice, Janice-wanna get a drink? I got nowhere to be," Ross said.

"Me neither, my kids are at their dad's," Janice said, "there's a bar up that way. Wait, he really went to Yemen to get away from me?"

"Where's the bar?" Ross asked.

"Asshole," Janice muttered as they walked a few blocks more towards a small pub and soon found themselves, drinks and snacks in hand, complaining about everything.

"Hey, my ex-wife married me and then remained in London and now is engaged. Seriously?" Ross groaned.

"Well, you did say Rachel's name at the altar."

"We were on a break."

"I cannot believe Chandler...instead of breaking up, went to Yemen and-"

"He said he tried."

"I liked him, I did. I mean, I know you guys think I'm completely obnoxious but-"

"No...well, maybe a little."

"Does he realize how his actions affect other people? That he really hurts people?"

"I'm not sure. Sometimes I think he knows and then other times, I'm not so sure. He's not always good to his girlfriends."

"Yeah. Is he dating anyone now?" Janice asked.

"No. He has a work thing tonight. You could show up there and surprise him."

"Oh, he'd love that. G-d, our lives are such messes."

"I'll drink to that."

The two clicked their glasses together and continued to drink. The more he drank, the more they talked, the more comfortable he felt. It was so bizarre to him. Hanging out with Janice, talking with her, actually getting to know her and of course the booze helped. It made it easier. He loved how she just listened, what amazing advice she gave.

The next day though, it all hit him as he rolled over and saw Janice laying next to him and the realization that he had slept with her, threw him. He had slept with Janice.

"Oh….my….G-d," he muttered.

"Hey, there...so you have a good night?" Janice asked, grinning at him.

"Yeah...Oh, G-d. We should not have done this."

"Why not?"

"You dated my best friend."

"Didn't you hook up with his college girlfriend?" Janice asked.

"I really shouldn't have told you things."

"It's okay."

"I had a good time though," Ross said. "Thank you for listening. Maybe we can do it again. You listen so well and I just...it's been tough and I don't know what I'm gonna do with my job and now I have to find a new place to live and I'm getting divorced again. I've barely seen my son and-"

"I don't think I wanna do this again," Janice said.

"What?"

"Ross, you're sweet. Really, you are but...oh my G-d. I'm divorced, I have kids who never see their dad, so I'm basically a single mom. If you haven't seen Ben, that's all on you and I-my ex-boyfriend decided I was so obnoxious, he decided to leave the country instead growing a pair. I have had it rough too, you're not the only one and I'm sorry you're going through a rough time but….stop whining."

Ross looked over at her. Letting her words sink in, she was telling him to stop whining? He thought back from what they had talked about last night. Every conversation had really been about him, had he complained so much?

"You think I'm being whiny?" Ross asked.

"I do. More whiny than I am and don't think I don't know what the six of you say about me. Janice is obnoxious and whiny and, oh, let's go to Yemen to get away from her-"

"We don't do that….often."

"But I don't care, Ross. I don't really care what the six of you think of me. I don't really care what my ex thinks of me. I care what my kids think and I care what I think of me. Get over it. Emily sounds like a bitch and I mean, look you have friends that took you in and so you had a couple marriages end badly. Same here. Move on."

He remained there, frozen for a bit longer. He had hooked up with Janice. He had hooked up with Janice and Janice thought he was annoying. That was tough to take.

After getting dressed, he took the train back to Chandler and Joey's apartment and immediately wished he had a home to go back to. He knew they would all be there. He knew they'd be wondering. He liked having his own apartment away from the rest of them. He could have a life. He let out a sigh as he placed his hand around the knob of Chandler and Joey's apartment, opened the door and waited for the onslaught. Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel immediately rushed towards him.

"Where the hell you?" Monica asked.

"Out," Ross said.

"Oh, out….well...we didn't think to look there," Rachel said.

"We've been looking everywhere for you," Phoebe said.

"You know, I'm an adult and I've lived on my own and have been known to go out for long periods of times that you don't even know about," Ross said, "Phoebe you live on your own, I'm sure you've been out for hours with us knowing. Leave me alone."

"He hooked up," Joey said. "Dude, you so hooked up."

"I did not hook up with anyone," Ross said.

"Who did you hook up with?" Joey asked.

"I'm not-I don't want to talk about it," Ross said, walking towards the couch. He needed to get his own apartment. He plopped himself down, still exhausted.

"That's so cute how you think we're gonna drop it," Phoebe said as they surrounded him.

"Who did you hook up with?" Joey asked.

"Janice," Ross mumbled.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I hooked up with Janice," Ross said.

"Janice?" Monica asked.

"How did that happen?" Rachel asked.

"You want me to draw you a picture?" Joey asked.

"Why are you a pig?" Rachel asked.

"Oink, oink," Joey said, grinning.

"I don't know how it happened and….where's Chandler?" Ross said.

"He's getting breakfast," Monica said.

"Please don't tell him," Ross said.

"Oh, that's not gonna happen," Joey said.

"Yeah, I can see myself telling him," Monica grinned.

"I can see myself telling him in interpretive dance and song," Phoebe said.

"I need to find an apartment," Ross said, "fine, then tell him when I'm not around."

"Are you gonna keep seeing her?" Rachel asked.

"No, no, I'm not. Apparently, she thinks I'm annoying," Ross said, immediately regretting it as he could hear his friends starting to snicker.

"Oh, that's awesome," Joey said. "Janice finds you annoying."

"Look, Ross. I'm….I know it's been rough," Monica said, sitting next to him, "and now with Emily getting married-"

"Emily's getting married?" Rachel asked.

"Yep. She got engaged," Ross said.

"Well, good riddance, fine, she's someone else's problem now," Rachel said.

"But when did this relationship even start, I mean….we're still technically married," Ross said.

"Well, yeah but clearly, you were on a break," Rachel said. Ross gave her a look and a smile appeared on her face, "what? You can use it, but I can't?"

"Thanks, Rach," Ross said, laughing a little as she gently wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay. It's a new year," Monica said.

"I know….I just-"

"I'm back," Chandler said as walked into the apartment carrying several bags of food and noticing Ross, "Hey, where the hell have you been?"

"He slept-" Joey began.

"-Over at Carol and Susan's last night so he could hang out with Ben," Rachel said, interrupting Joey.

"Okay...alright, we got food," Chandler said, giving Ross a confused look.

"I'll help," Monica said as she, Joey and Phoebe went to help Chandler with the food, leaving Rachel and Ross on the couch.

"Thanks," Ross said.

"So, you and Janice?" Rachel asked.

"You and Paolo. We all make mistakes," Ross said.

"Don't compare," Rachel said. "So, you've kissed his mother and hooked up with two of his ex-girlfriends."

"Yep," Ross said.

"Wow."

"Can't wait to see who Chandler's next girlfriend is, maybe I'll hook up with her too," Ross said.

"Oh, oh, I don't see that happening," Rachel said, cringing slightly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Breakfast," Rachel said as she patted his leg and stood up. Ross grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Hey, Rach...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Janice?"

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay and I'm sorry about Emily."

Rachel went to join the others in the kitchen and Ross remained seated. He watched the other five and rested his head against the couch. It all just seemed to be such a big mess. His life was not going how he wanted it to be. Even Ben was fading from his life. Carol was reluctant to let him stay with Ross while he was living with Chandler and Joey.

"He doesn't even have a bedroom. You don't have a bedroom," Carol had argued when they had spoken earlier in the week. He wanted to have Ben over for New Year's but Carol and Susan said no.

"He can sleep on the couch with me," Ross recalled.

"No. Look, I'm sorry everything is a mess but maybe Ben can stay with you when your life is a little more stable."

He felt everything just slipping through his fingers. He felt like a lousy father, he was unemployed, his marriage was done and his ex-wife was getting married…..and now Janice thought he was annoying.

"Hey, dude you gonna join us?" Chandler asked.

Ross realized he had been completely zoned out as the rest of the group were sitting at the counter eating breakfast. He shook his head and stood up, walking towards the counter where a plate was waiting for him.

"Thanks," Ross said.

"Hey, cheer up, man," Chandler said, patting him on the back.

"I'll try," Ross said.

He would. He had to. 1999 had to be better. He would make it better.

The first step was an apartment. While he enjoyed living with Chandler and Joey, he had gotten used to his own space and he wanted it again. He liked going out and not having to worry that he'd have to answer to five different people.

Enter Ugly Naked Man's apartment.

It was now February and when that apartment became available, it seemed too good to be true. It was right across the street from Monica and Rachel's. So he was close enough that he could still come over but far enough that he could have his own life. He liked Ugly Naked Man's apartment. Sure, he'd need new furniture. There was an extra guest room that he could make Ben's. This could be his official new start. He was thrilled to move and his first night in his new home was just fantastic. He slept in his own bed, he had missed sleeping in a bed. While Chandler and Joey's couch was comfty, it was far more comfortable to sleep in a bed.

Waking up in his new apartment felt like perfection. He got up, made himself coffee and sat on his new couch and looked out the window and that's when he noticed them. Monica and Chandler. Chandler's arms wrapped around Monica. He was kissing her neck and she was kissing him back. The kissing was becoming deeper and deeper as Chandler began to gently unbutton Monica's top. Ross felt a mixture of anger and disgust as he immediately got up and ran out the door. How long had this been going on? Were they having a one night stand? He raced across the street and into the building. What the hell was going on? Had this been going on while he was living with Chandler and Joey? Reaching Monica and Rachel's apartment, he began pounding on the door.

"Chandler!" yelled Ross. "Monica!"

He heard mumbling on the other side as he continued to pound on the door. Monica soon opened the door and Ross barged in while she tried to hold him back. Chandler ran towards the bathroom and shut the door.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked as she and Joey soon appeared behind Ross.

"I'm going to kill Chandler," Ross ran towards the bathroom.

"I think he may have found out about them," Joey said.

"Ross, come on...calm down," Monica said, grabbing his arm.

"What the hell is going on?" Ross asked.

"I will tell you if you calm down," Monica said. "And Chandler get out of the bathroom."

"Will Joey protect me from Ross?" Chandler asked.

"I'm on it man," Joey said as he walked towards the bathroom.

"Wow," Monica said looking towards Rachel.

"Never underestimate the power of Jandler," Rachel said.

"What is going on?" Ross asked, wondering what he was supposed to be feeling.

"Sit down," Monica said, as she walked Ross to the couch. He sat down and tried to calm himself. He watched as Chandler opened the door to the bathroom and looked cautiously at Ross.

"I got you, buddy," Joey said.

"Joe, Rach….can you guys give us a moment?" Monica asked.

"Come on, Joey. I think we should let them talk," Rachel said, motioning for to him join her. Joey looked between Chandler and Monica, nervous.

"If you go, I will make you French toast for breakfast when you come back," Monica said.

"Okay, good luck buddy," Joey said, patting Chandler on the back before walking out of the apartment. Rachel followed him out. Soon, Monica and Chandler joined Ross on the couch. Ross kept looking at both of them. Monica and Chandler were a couple now?

"Ross, honey….when...during your wedding to Emily, I was sad and Chandler took care of me and one thing led to another and-"

"This has been going on since London?" Ross asked, glaring at Chandler. London?

"Yeah," Monica said.

"Nine months, you've been hiding this nine months?" Ross asked. Who else knew? He remembered back to all the times he had woken up to Chandler going to the bathroom, was he really going to the bathroom? Had he really been that blind to everything else? How had he not seen anything?

"Yes and Joey found out first but we swore him to secrecy and then Rachel and then Phoebe found out last night and we wanted to tell you together. Please don't be mad," Monica said.

"I am going to kill you," Ross said, looking straight at Chandler.

"Dude, this isn't….remember when we went to Disneyland? That cross country trip before senior year, you said that if something happened between me and your sister, you couldn't think of a better guy out there for her. You said that you thought I would be the best guy out there for her. Do you remember that?" Chandler asked.

"You said that?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Ross said. He remembered it well. He knew Chandler loved his sister. He knew how Chandler felt and the anger he was feeling was melting away. This wasn't a one-time thing. This was something that had been building up. He knew it was building up.

"And that whole trip, you knew I was sending her postcards from every city. You knew I liked her even then," Chandler said.

"I did," Ross said.

"You know this isn't a spur of the moment thing," Chandler said.

"You also told me similar stuff. You said that if something were to happen with Chandler and I, you wouldn't be upset and remember what I told you happened at my twenty first birthday?" Monica asked.

"I remember," Ross said, grinning. He loved that story. His sister getting so drunk that she told her boyfriend at the time that she loved Chandler.

"There's more to that story? What happened?" Chandler asked.

Monica looked at him and let out a groan, "We went to that bar, I got drunk and Laurie danced topless but what I didn't tell you was that at some point, I grabbed Jason and drunkenly told him that I love….well, you. I said, 'I love Chandler'."

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Yep, I told Ross that," Monica said.

"Score," Chandler said.

"Dude," Ross said.

"Sorry," Chandler said.

"So this is serious? You two?" Ross asked, knowing the answer. It was always serious.

"Very," Chandler said.

Ross let out a sigh. He shouldn't have gotten mad. He always kinda knew. He knew they loved each other. He knew they were close. Maybe it was good, it would work. There needed to be some rules though.

"Do you two promise to stop doing it in front of the window now that I live across the way?"

"Yes," both Monica and Chandler said together.

He laughed at that but there was still the matter of them hiding it. Why? If something had happened, he should have known first.

"Why did you hide it? Why did you hide it from me? Forget the others, why did you hide it from me?" Ross asked.

"I didn't want you to be upset and you…..1998 was not a good year for you Ross and we didn't want to add to that," Monica said.

He slowly nodded, getting that. He really had been so obsessed with Emily, he had forgotten about everything else. He had let everything else fall.

"Okay, okay….I can accept that," Ross said. Monica smiled as she got up and went to hug him. Ross stood up and walked towards Chandler, extending his hand. Chandler took it and the two boys hugged. Monica decided to go across the hall to get Joey and Rachel for breakfast as well as make a quick call to Phoebe, leaving the two boys alone.

"I am sorry though. I promise, this isn't….I'm not gonna freak. I'm gonna be a far better boyfriend than I was to Lizzie or Kathy or….Janice, whom I heard you saw recently?" Chandler asked, grinning at him.

"Yeah," Ross said.

"She said you were annoying."

"I know. Highlight of my life. You know, you're gonna be okay."

"I know, so will you," Chandler said as they were soon joined by the others for breakfast. It felt a little strange though. He kinda remembered when he and Rachel had been "the couple" and now it was Monica and Chandler. As he watched the two interact, he felt rather dumb. Of course they fit. They played off each other so well, it made sense. How had he not noticed?

After breakfast, the group split. Monica, Rachel and Ross went searching for items for Ross' new apartment while Phoebe, Chandler and Joey went to FAO Schwartz to play and buy toys. As Ross was looking some throw pillows, Monica appeared beside him and began doing what she did best.

"The navy blue ones would look good and-"

"I hate it when you're here," Ross groaned.

"No, you don't. Navy blue. It goes with your color scheme" Monica said, grabbing a couple pillows and tossing them into a cart.

"Who made you in charge of my color scheme?"

"Me."

"It's my apartment?"

"What? Like I care?" Monica asked, grinning at him.

"I hate you."

"I'm fine with that. Navy blue throw pillows."

"I hope one day you find your real parents and they finally take you away," Ross teased.

"Oh, honey, I've been praying for that for almost twenty nine years," Monica muttered, sorting through some other navy blue items. Ross let out a laugh as he just let Monica do her job.

So you and Chandler?"

"Yeah...Ross, can I ask you something, though? You can't tell him?" Monica asked, looking up from her sorting.

"What?"

Monica let out a sigh as she looked around and back at him. He noticed her mood change as she kept looking at him.

"I'm dating an addict and I always said the reason I would never wanna date Chandler is 'cause I don't wanna date an addict but I am and we've been through this twice and I don't know….he could be getting wasted right now and-and the thing is...it's gonna hurt more if he falls off the wagon this time and-"

"Mon….it's gonna be okay."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause we'll shove him back on and you're not doing this alone. If something happens, we'll take care of him and you. If I've learned anything these last nine months, we're good at taking care of each other. Just go with it. I guarantee you, today, he's not drinking or using. He's got Phoebe and Joey with him. You're not doing this alone. We are in this together. I promise."

"But tomorrow?"

"Day by day."

"It's just sucks 'cause I-I can't control it. I don't know how to control it. I don't know how to fix it."

"I know, Mon. Unclench."

"I can't. Not when it comes to him, not when it comes to any of the five of you, I can't. When are you gonna get that?"

"I got that," Ross said, giving Monica a hug. He knew she was terrified, but there was nothing he could do. He just hoped Chandler wouldn't fall off again but there was always that possibility.

"Hey, how about this?" Rachel asked, walking towards them holding a red polka dotted lamp. Monica and Ross stopped hugging and Monica looked at the lamp.

"No. No, polka dots. I'll find something else," Monica said, taking the lamp from Rachel before walking off. Rachel looked at him.

"Why are we here?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. She picked my color scheme."

"Of course. I love Monica."

"Someone has to," Ross joked which made Rachel laugh.

"So how are you buddy?"

"Ehhh."

"You wanna come over for dinner tonight. Monica's gonna sleep in Chandler's room and Phoebe's going out with some of her other friends and Joey's got a date so...it's just me."

"Okay, yeah...that would be fun."

"You wanna see if we can sneak in some of your own ideas for your apartment."

"We could try."

"Between you and me, we could try to convince your sister to compromise," Rachel said.

"Or...or we could find stuff we know Mon will hate and try to sneak it in there to purposely piss her off?" Ross asked.

"That's like the best idea ever," Rachel said.

"I know, right?" Ross said.

Rachel placed her arm around his waist and the two walked off in search of Monica. He and Rachel began to team up immediately, trying to sneak items past Monica to see if she would notice. It was just way too much fun, trying to annoy his sister and he loved having Rachel on his side because normally, she was firmly on Monica's.

That night, he and Rachel were on the balcony of Monica and Rachel's apartment drinking wine and eating Chinese take-out. They were randomly chatting and staring out into the night. He stared across the way at his darkened apartment.

"So I live there now," Ross said, motioning across the street.

"I know...by the way, you owe me money."

"What?"

"I said they'd get together in '98. You may have found out in '99, but they hooked up in '98."

"Wait, you knew and didn't tell me?" Ross asked, looking at her. Rachel cringed a little. If she knew….

"They hid it and it wasn't completely confirmed, even though I knew, but they never really came out and said it."

"Hmmm."

"How are you with them together?"

"I like it. They're good," he answered truthfully. The two of them just seemed to work.

"Ross?"

"Yeah."

"Monica said the reason she and Chandler kept it so private was because they didn't want to be like us. Are we that bad as a couple? Are we dramatic and….do you think it would have been better if we had been private?"

That seemed like an odd thing for his sister to say as he thought back to what she had said to him in the furniture store.

"No and I think it's stupid what they did. They knew it would come out and it would be really hard to keep it secret and I didn't need to look out my window and see them going at it," Ross said.

"They've got to stop doing it in front of the window."

"I don't think….I like how we are….we're honest and...yeah, it can be dramatic and intense...but there's no one else out there for me, Rach. You're my best friend."

"Same here. I just we could be together and have it be healthy."

"Maybe someday….but….not now….I don't think I can date anyone right now."

"I understand that. I may need to start dating people."

"I hate him."

"I haven't gone out with anyone yet," Rachel said, confused.

"Doesn't matter. He's an asshole and I hate him."

"Yeah, we have a healthy, normal relationship," Rachel grinned.

"Totally."

"So what do you know about Joey's mob ties?" Rachel asked.

Ross' eyes widened. He knew very little. Even when they had gone camping and they had tried to get information about his mob ties. Joey was very cagey. It was as if Joey really did not want them to know anything about his past.

"Nothing, what do you know?" Ross asked, staring at her, she grinned and sat up.

"So okay, apparently….his old roommate, Shane...you know, the one-"

"I hate that guy. I know I shouldn't say that I'm glad someone's dead but you know what he did to Chandler when they were kids-"

"Oh, yeah. Gross and just...and I still can't believe Joey was friends with him. Chandler says he thinks Shane was afraid of Joey."

"Really?"

"I know, right? Anyway, Joey thinks that's Shane's overdose was not accidental that someone helped him."

"Really?" Ross asked, staring at her.

"Yeah because when Joey left for L.A., Shane had been clean for awhile and then Shane was hanging out with Joey's cousin, Christopher and then….suddenly, he's dead."

"Whoa."

"I know."

"There is so much I want to know and then sometimes I think….maybe I don't," Ross said.

"I know. He's always so secretive about his past. Even Phoebe is like, 'hey, here's the body count in my family'...do you think Joey has ever whacked anyone?"

"No. No, I can't see him doing that. I can see him beating someone up but not taking someone's life. I don't….I see him as pretty loyal. I think the five of us are actually pretty lucky to be his friend. Protection for life."

"Yeah, I can see that. We are lucky. The six of us. We're really lucky."

"Yeah."

Rachel and Ross clicked their wine glasses together and continued to enjoy each other's company on the balcony. The dynamics were changing once again in this group of six but it felt okay, it felt like it was going where it was going to go.


	40. Chapter 40

**April 1999-May 1999**

Soon after he moved into his apartment, he stopped working at the museum. He wasn't sure he was ready to go back there. He had a bad reputation there now and regardless of his time away, working at a place where he would have to rebuild his reputation did not seem like the greatest thing in the world to do. So instead, he took time away. Chandler wasn't the only one in the group who was good at saving money. He saved and worked on finalizing his divorce from Emily and worked on his relationship with Ben. Carol and Susan had finally decided his life was a little more stable and he could see Ben more often. When he wasn't seeing Ben, he was spending time at the library and looking up research in order to write more papers. He was constantly working, trying so hard to better himself.

Maybe that's what made him forget? He had never thought he would have forgotten. Monica had suggested a surprise party for Rachel. Rachel's birthday was in May and that would be the surprise, a birthday party in April. Rachel had gotten a new job at Ralph Lauren and was busy, not paying attention so she had no clue but he didn't know what his excuse was. He had been Chandler's friend for twelve years, he had celebrated eleven birthdays with him and yet he forget this one. The most important one. The one some people thought he would never reach. He had forgotten Chandler's thirtieth birthday.

He had noticed Chandler acting weird that night. He seemed unsteady and Ross wondered if he had gotten drunk that day. He noticed Monica being short with him, walking away from him. He stood there watching and as he stood there, it began to slowly dawn on him. He needed to tell Monica but as he reached her, Rachel arrived and it was too late. Rachel looked stunned as she revealed the obvious. She revealed what they had all forgotten.

"That's great, thank you but why isn't the party for Chandler? His birthday is today," Rachel said.

"Yeah, that's-that's what I wanted to tell you Mon," Chandler said.

"Oh my G-d," Monica said.

"But you know….let's party," Rachel tried.

"Chandler, I'm so sorry," Monica said.

"I'm fine, it is what it is," Chandler said walking off. "But we can talk later."

Chandler walked off, leaving Monica looking stunned. Ross walked over to her and placed his arm around her.

"We'll fix this," Ross said.

"We forgot his thirtieth birthday? How the fuck did we forget that? We've known him for twelve years, how did we forget his birthday? I'm his girlfriend….and..now he'll get drunk," Monica said. Rachel appeared next to her.

"I'm sorry….thank you for the party," Rachel said.

"How did I forget? And here's the thing, here's a man who some people thought wouldn't even live to see thirty and we forgot his birthday," Monica said. "This is a big deal and we forgot. I forgot…."

Ross wasn't sure what to say. Everyone forgot. Chandler went off to drink and he knew his friend was going to get wasted. Rachel walked over to him to talk to him.

"How do we fix this?" Phoebe asked, appearing next to Ross. "I mean, I've been through a lot but I don't know how to fix this. How do we fix him? 'Cause this is probably gonna drive him over the edge."

"It probably already did," Ross said.

He remembered the birthdays he had spent with Chandler. Driving him around, making sure he didn't get too drunk. He knew people thought Chandler wouldn't make it to thirty. He had once promised Lizzie that he would keep Chandler alive. The fact that he had made it was pretty amazing. Chandler eventually disappeared from the party and Monica walked out after him.

"How the hell did this happen?" Joey asked as he and Ross sat together on the couch.

"I don't know."

"I'm gonna take him to a Mets game or something. You okay if it's just me and him? Sorry, I haven't hung out with him in awhile and-"

"It's fine, Joe."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, I'll do something else."

"You know, I don't know…."

"So...we have to do something," Rachel said as she and Phoebe joined them on the couch.

"He got so drunk today," Joey said, "and I feel bad. How did this even happen?"

"He really has a drinking problem, doesn't he?" Rachel asked looking at Ross.

"Yeah….and I'm sure this didn't help," Ross said.

Ross watched as Phoebe grabbed a post-it and wrote, "Chandler" on it and covered Rachel's name and placed it on the cake they had gotten. Joey left to go up to the roof to get Chandler and Monica. When the three finally returned, Rachel walked up to him and grabbed his arm. Ross could tell he was now drunk and he could smell the cigarette smoke coming off his friend.

"We are so sorry, Chandler," Phoebe said.

"I'm fine," Chandler said, "Happy birthday, Rachel."

"No, we're turning it around. Blow out the candles," Rachel said as they approached the cake that now had his name on it "Although...how drunk are you?"

"Look, we'll make this up to you," Ross said.

Chandler smiled as he leaned in and blew out the candles as everyone cheered and tried to turn it around to make it his party.

They decided on a movie night on the roof. They set up a screen, Monica had made fifteen different kinds of mac and cheese and Ross set up the movies. There was beer, wine and six lawn chairs set up. This was Chandler's type of birthday, movies on the roof with the rest of them. Monica was freaking out, making sure everything was just so as Rachel and Phoebe sat in lounge chairs side by side, Ross set up the movies and Joey was testing the food. It just all needed to be perfect.

"Ross, is the projection screen set up?" Monica asked.

"Yes. Mon, calm down," Ross said as he began looking through the movies. He put them in order, knowing exactly which one Chandler would want them starting with. He knew Rachel would be pissed they were starting with this particular one but Phoebe had recently broken up with a guy and there was no way Chandler would let them escape without seeing the movie.

"Joey, stop eating the mac and cheese," Monica said as she was making sure there were enough utensils. "Okay, where is he? Joey, go get him. Call him."

"I will. Don't worry, Mon," Joey said as he walked towards the door that lead from the roof to inside the building. Monica walked over to talk with Phoebe and Rachel and Ross kept looking at the movies. This would be a Chandler event. He still felt rather guilty though and as he looked, he was planning his own idea for Chandler's birthday.

When Joey and Chandler stepped out onto the roof, Monica ran towards him and threw her arms around Chandler, quickly kissing him.

"Surprise," Monica said, "we felt really bad. I'm a horrible girlfriend. I mean, who forgets their boyfriend's thirtieth birthday?"

"I wish people had forgotten mine. Thirty one. I'm thirty one," Joey mumbled, feeling choked up again as he walked towards the table of food.

"Nine more months, you'll be thirty two," Chandler teased.

"Shut up, man," Joey said.

"Chandler, I'm really sorry," Monica said, looking at him.

"Yeah, we all are," Phoebe said.

"I'm not," Rachel said. The other five looked at her. "What? I'm the only one that remembered?"

"Then why didn't you tell us?" Phoebe asked.

"It's okay, guys. Really. I'm not mad," Chandler said.

"Really? You aren't going to use it as a reason to do stupid crap because you think no one would care?" Ross asked.

"Ehhh, I thought about it...but I knew you felt really bad so that was enough for me," Chandler said. Monica wrapped her arm around Chandler's waist and led him to the trays of mac and cheese. "What do we have here?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, we have movies. It's set up and ready to go," Ross said.

"We have to see the Hot Dog movie first," Chandler said.

Ross laughed, knowing he had been correct. He looked over at Rachel and the look on her face was one he loved.

"No, we don't. If a movie sucks when you're fifteen and sixteen, it's gonna suck forever," Rachel said.

"Yeah, but Phoebe and Gary broke up. So we have to watch it," Chandler said.

"Thank you, Chandler. But we don't have to. It is a horrible movie and I'm okay," Phoebe said.

"No, we have to watch it. It's tradition...and then Rach, we can watch _Weekend at Bernie's_ followed by _Animal House _and..._Spaceballs_," Chandler said, holding up the movies and Ross was impressed with himself. He had picked the order correctly. So apparently, he knew his friend's movie order preferences but not his birthday.

"Okay...fine. Let's watch the damn movie...and you're promising _Weekend at Bernie's_ immediately after?" Rachel asked.

"Yep, I'll even kick Joey in the crotch as a preview," Chandler said.

"You do and I punch you in the head and throw you off the roof," Joey said.

"Alright, let's go. Hot Dog movie," Rachel said.

Chandler handed Ross the movie. Ross took it and loaded it in as the rest of the group got themselves ready, loading up on mac and cheese and sitting in the deck chairs and began their movie marathon. Ross quickly moved to sit next to Rachel. This was going to be too much fun.

"I don't understand why you hate this movie so much," Ross said, sitting next to her as they watched The Hot Dog movie. "You like skiing."

"They're skiing in bikinis. The plot is dumb….I mean, this is basically soft core porn," Rachel said.

"It's no Terms of Endearment," Ross teased.

"I actually like that movie. I mean, you make fun and say I'm lying about my favorite movie, but I do like that movie. It's very touching."

"There's touching in this," Ross said.

"Shut up….Pheebs, why the hell did you choose this movie?"

"I was homeless and a fifteen year old boy was offering to pay for a movie for me. I didn't have much of a choice."

"There were other movies that were out….that you could have seen," Rachel said.

"How would I have known what those were?" Phoebe asked.

"Figure it out. You wanted to see a movie and by the way, how-if Chandler hadn't been there, how would you have gotten in?"

"I had my ways," Phoebe said.

"Is Rachel angry about the Hot Dog movie again?" Joey said.

"They are skiing naked. You cannot ski naked," Rachel said.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Ross said.

"You're a dumbass," Rachel said.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Ross grinned. Rachel stuck out her tongue at him. Ross laughed as he wrapped his arm around her. He loved getting her all riled up. Yeah, the movie did suck but Rachel's reactions and commentary brought it to a level of almost Oscar worthy. Almost.

Late that night, long after the party had ended, he was woken by a ringing phone. He leaned over and picked it up.

"Hello," Ross said.

"Hey, Ross it's me."

Ross sat up, hearing Rachel's voice on the other end. Why was she calling so late?

"What's up?"

"Did I wake you?"

"It's okay."

"Apparently, Monica found a bottle of pills in Chandler's jacket pocket tonight."

He knew it. He knew Chandler wouldn't just take it as an error.

"Did he take them?"

"No. How do we fix this? How do we fix him? Why doesn't he get it? I don't-what do we do?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything."

"Just keep sticking with him."

"So...what'cha wearing?" Rachel said.

"What?"

"I haven't had sex in awhile."

"Neither have I. You want me to come over?"

"Naaa….just tell me what the hell you're wearing?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing," Ross said, lying.

"Nothing."

"Hmmm, I like that."

The conversation about Chandler quickly ended as they began moving into a much more dirty area. He loved this area as did she. It was still there, still part of their relationship. The heat just would not fade and there would always be a part of him that hoped it never would.

Joey could have his Mets games with Chandler, but Ross knew where to take Chandler for his belated birthday. He took him to the Crown Cafe at the top of Statue of Liberty. The Statue of Liberty of course, after all they had been there nine years earlier for Chandler's twenty first birthday when he had been wasted and flashed a boatload of tourists.

"That was a fantastic night," Chandler grinned.

"You threw up in the stairwell," Ross said.

"Memories."

"Hey, man….can I…the movie night."

"It was fun."

"Yeah, did you….you had...pills?"

"Mon told you?" Chandler asked, his face falling a little.

"Rachel. Monica must have told her. You know we all talk to each other."

"It's not a big deal. I didn't take anything."

"'Cause Monica found them before you could?"

"No, no….I'm just...I'm fine. I'm gonna be fine...why did you forget?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. It was shitty but don't….come on, you worked too hard to get to this point. Don't fuck it up. You got exactly what you wanted and I'm not gonna lie, Mon's already terrified. Even more so now. Do not…..we fucked up."

"Yeah, you guys did."

"You made it, though. You're thirty."

"Yeah. Ten more years till forty."

"You'll make it till forty, too."

"You'll still be my friend," Chandler said.

"I might be your brother in law," Ross said.

"What is wrong with you?" Chandler asked.

Ross laughed, "what?"

"I've made it ten months dating one woman without messing up completely. I almost messed up….I've almost messed up many times, but it's been ten months. Let me make it to eleven months. I'm not there yet."

"Ehhh, so who's gonna be your Best Man? Me or Joey?"

"I hate you. So how's married life going for you?" Chandler asked.

"I should be your Best Man though, 'cause you'll be marrying my sister," Ross said, enjoying himself way too much.

"I'm gonna throw you off the Statue of Liberty, maybe we need to worry about you making it to thirty," Chandler joked.

Ross was laughing, "happy birthday, man."

"Thanks," Chandler said as they lifted their glasses together and clinked them before drinking. It was an enjoyable birthday. Ross was glad he could make it up to Chandler. Although it would be forever a big regret.

Soon April turned to May and things were going quite well. His divorce was finalized and even though there was a brief moment where Emily had called and he had contemplated calling her back, he did not and was happy to just close that chapter of his life. He had gotten used to Monica and Chandler dating and things really were going quite well. So well that a group trip was planned, well not quite. He wasn't quite sure how it happened. Joey was in Las Vegas filming a movie and Monica had decided that she and Chandler should spend their one year anniversary in Vegas which led to Phoebe, Rachel and Ross joining them. He had a feeling they really weren't supposed to be there but maybe he and Rachel would hang out separately from them and Monica and Chandler could have their alone time. He and Rachel would be flying together.

The night before Vegas, as he was packing, he noticed something across the way. Rachel was in her apartment with three other women. She looked to be having a party or a girl's night. They were drinking wine and eating and suddenly he got quite bored of packing and decided to join them. He knew Rachel had desperately wanted to make other friends outside of the group. They all had friends outside the six of them. There was an unspoken agreement between them that they could justify their own extreme codependency on one another if they at least had other people to play with. He knew Rachel had lost all her old friends when she had joined the group and had wanted other ones and it appeared she finally had those friends, whom he had to meet.

He knocked on Monica and Rachel's door and Rachel opened it, letting out an annoyed sigh. She clearly did not want him there, which of course meant he had to be there.

"Hey, you having a party?" Ross asked.

"Unless you have a vagina, you're not invited," Rachel said

"I am alone across the street," Ross said.

"Well, get a box of Kleenex and some vaseline and have a party of your own," Rachel grinned.

"Is that Ross?" one of the girls asked.

"Oh, is that the ex? I wanna meet him," another girl said, trying to peer around Rachel. She let out an annoyed sigh and stepped aside to let Ross into the apartment. Ross just gave her a grin as he walked in.

"Ross, these are my work friends. Chelsea, Emily and Laura Jean. Oh, Laura Jean….Ross has been divorced too."

"Really?" Laura Jean asked.

"Twice," Rachel said, nodding wildly.

"Twice? How old are you?" Chelsea asked.

"Thirty," Rachel said.

"Still twenty-nine," Ross said.

"I was rounding up," Rachel said.

"You crashed my second wedding," Ross said.

"You said my name at the altar….oh, and the first one ended because he married a lesbian," Rachel said.

"That'll do it," Emily said.

"You enjoying yourself?" Ross asked.

"Way more than I should," Rachel said, "By the way, you never invited me to your first wedding."

"I didn't know where you lived."

"You could have easily found out."

"Would you have actually come?" Ross asked.

"Oh G-d no," Rachel grinned.

"Nice," Ross laughed. She was having way too much fun at his expense and he was fine with it. This could be a fun evening.

"I know, right. You want beer or wine?"

"Wine, I'll get it. I'm afraid you'll spit it in it," Ross said.

"Don't be afraid. That's exactly what I was going to do," Rachel said as she squeezed Ross' arm and rejoined her friends on the couch. Ross walked into the kitchen and got himself another bottle and poured himself a glass.

"Wait, wait...Ross' wedding was the one you crashed," Laura Jean said.

"I was invited, actually," Rachel said.

"You said no," Ross said.

"What was her name?" Emily asked.

"Emily and she's also British. Actually, Emily...Ross' Emily did not do British Emilys justice."

"I'm sorry, Ross. Not all British Emilys are jerks," Emily grinned. "What was her last name?"

"Waltham," Ross said as he sat next to Rachel.

"Emily Waltham. Oh, G-d. I think I went to University with her. I know her. Oh, Ross, she's horrible. Thank goodness you got out," Emily said.

"Really? Small world," Rachel said.

"I wish I had gotten out before I got married," Ross said.

"You know what though? Fuck it, so you got married twice and you know….just 'cause the first one was a lesbian, doesn't mean you had to get divorced," Chelsea said.

"Kinda does," Ross said, taking a sip of his wine.

"So, what's the deal with you two," Chelsea said, pointing to Ross and Rachel.

"Nothing, nothing, Chelsea," Rachel admonished.

"I want to know, we're all friends here," Chelsea said.

"We were on break," Ross said, suddenly and Rachel's mouth dropped as she stared at him, grinning at her. If she could play, so could he and he knew exactly the card to play.

"Get out of my apartment," Rachel said.

"We were on a break," Ross said.

"You cheated on me," Rachel said.

"While we were on a break," Ross said.

"We were not on a break," Rachel said.

"Were too."

"Were not."

"Were too."

"Wait, wait….maybe you should tell us and let us decide if you were really on a break," Chelsea said.

"Oh, that's fun," Rachel said.

"How? They'll side with you," Ross said.

"That's why it'll be fun," Rachel grinned as she turned to explain the story. For as strange as it was, he kinda found it funny listening to Rachel tell the story now. At the time, it had destroyed them and they both wondered how they could possibly ever move forward but now, it seemed like they had. Now they could simply tell the story as a story.

"Here's the thing, Rach. You said, 'a break from us'. I can see how that can be turned into 'we were on a break'", Chelsea said.

"Chelsea, will you go out with me," Ross said as Rachel smacked him.

"You're not my type," Chelsea said.

"Okay, Emily and Laura Jean?" Rachel asked.

"I think I'm on Rachel's side," Laura Jean said, "you gotta ask for clarification on these things."

"I'm in between. I think I get both sides," Emily said.

"I'm still right," Rachel said.

"No, you're not," Ross said.

"You weren't you even invited here tonight. Go away," Rachel said.

"You crashed my wedding," Ross said.

Rachel laughed as she playfully smacked Ross, who just laughed. The evening was beyond fun. It was fun watching Rachel hang out other friends and he noticed something else. In the past, Rachel had two different groups. She had Monica and she had Nancy and Mindy and she had acted completely different. Two Faced. But now, she was pretty much Rachel. She acted the same with the work friends as she did with Monica and Phoebe and it was kinda cool. After the girls left and it was just him and Rachel, she was still giddy from the night. Ross sat on the counter as they talked.

"Monica would kill you if she knew you were sitting on her counter."

"I know, Hey, your friends are nice. Your work friends?"

"Thanks."

"Sorry, I crashed your party," Ross said.

"Don't be. It was fun. Hope you didn't think I was making fun of you too much."

"Ehhh, I can handle it, but they are nice."

"I'm glad I have them. Other friends. I need that, you know? I need to….I think I'm so dependent on you guys and I mean, I love the five of you so much and I'm never letting you guys go but…I need some friends outside this group," Rachel said.

"It's good. We all have friends outside the six of us. I think it's necessary."

"I do too and I'm glad you were here tonight. It felt nice. You and me."

"You and I," Ross said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do you-do you miss us?" Rachel asked.

Ross looked at her and let out a sigh, "every day, Rach."

"We are alone."

"But we're leaving for Vegas tomorrow and we had a lot of wine."

"Might not be the best idea?" Rachel asked.

"No," Ross said as he jumped off the counter and walked towards her. He gently hugged her as she hugged back. "I'll see you tomorrow? Share a cab?"

"Sure...we'll get breakfast first."

"Sounds perfect. Love you, Rach."

"Love you, too."

Ross walked out and she let out a groan. It would be fun to be in Vegas with Rachel. Maybe they could play without the others. It would be a nice change.


	41. Chapter 41

**May 1999-September 1999**

Sitting with Rachel on the plane, he was trying to recall if he had ever been to Vegas. Ross and Chandler had driven through it when they had done the cross country trip but Ross was still under twenty one and couldn't go anywhere. He had driven Chandler, Gandalf and Kip to several clubs but he had stayed in the car. It wasn't that fun. He really hadn't played in Vegas. He looked over at Rachel, who was getting comfortable in her seat.

"You ever been to Vegas?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, I spent my twenty-first birthday there with Barry and about fourteen other people."

"That sounds fun."

"It was….yeah, fun," Rachel said, grinning at him.

There was part of him that wanted to keep pushing. What had she done in Vegas? He really did think Rachel had done some stuff she wasn't telling the rest of them during the time she didn't talk to him or Monica and he wondered if Vegas was where some of that fun happened.

"You think Monica and Chandler are pissed we're crashing their anniversary," Ross asked instead.

"The more I think about it….yeah. We weren't really invited, were we?" Rachel asked.

"Nope."

"Well, okay when we get there….we'll let them be alone. We'll hang out with Phoebe and Joey and then...let 'em be."

"I agree….or maybe just….you and me?" Ross asked. "I mean, after last night and-"

"I was not coming on to you," Rachel said, a little too loudly. Ross laughed. The wine had worn off but he still found it amusing reliving the previous night.

"You want me. Admit it Green, you find me sexy."

"Sure...you're as sexy as…..herpes."

"Thank goodness I was the one with self-control. One of us has to have the self-control and you know, as always….I am willing to be the one."

"You are so full of crap. How do you fit through a door with your head that size?"

"I slid in."

"Do you know how arrogant you sound?"

"It's my strength…..so what are we doing in Vegas?"

"Chandler's dad has a drag show."

"I've always wanted to see that," Ross said, truthfully. He had only heard the stories. He wanted to meet Chandler's dad. He wanted to see who his friend called his father. It might explain so much...

"I saw it on my twenty-first birthday," Rachel said.

"Really? How was it?"

"Awesome," Rachel said, "you know, I wanna do Vegas with you. Joey and Phoebe can hang out and do stuff….although, I'm convinced they're doing each other."

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"Okay, Joey and Phoebe? Friends with Benefits?"

Ross looked at her and thought about this. "Maybe….you think?"

"I do. So does Monica."

"Whoa. If that's the case then we are the most incestuous group of friends ever."

"We kinda are….but yeah, you and me….let's just be crazy in Vegas."

"Got it," Ross said.

Rachel and Ross grinned wildly at each other as the plane took them across the country. They would have fun, just the two of them. Maybe it could be their chance to reconnect.

Once in Vegas, after getting filled in on what had happened in their absence, they headed immediately to dinner. They decided to go all out and headed out to a very fancy and expensive steak restaurant. Although, as the drinking started, there was some concern. After all Joey was apparently not working on a movie and it had been shut down, Monica and Chandler were fighting and Phoebe was doing something else. Maybe they should check in but then again….

"I kinda don't want to," Rachel said as she drank her wine. "I mean….okay according to Pheebs, Monica had lunch with Richard and Phoebe accidentally let it slip and now Chandler and Monica are fighting although I am willing to bet that Chandler's probably sulking in his room, drinking all the booze out of the minibar."

"I would take that bet….and Joey's movie got shut down."

"It's just...I-okay, Monica made this whole deal about how their relationship is so much better than ours was but they have massive drama. I mean, okay...we can drink responsibly," Rachel said.

"We can."

"Maybe we can go and look after Chandler-"

"I don't want to either," Ross said.

"You don't?"

He really did not want to deal with Chandler. They weren't even supposed to be there. He knew that and he was sick of it. He was there with Rachel, they were having fun and he wanted to just be with Rachel.

"I want a break. Rach, four years of college, I drove him around when he got wasted. One year, during finals week...I drove him and Kip and Gandalf all around the city while I stayed in the car and studied."

"Why didn't they take a cab?"

"Thought it would be safer. Then after college, he vanished...I mean I knew he would show up to my wedding but still and then….I'm tired."

"You can be tired. You've done a lot for him."

"Yep, I have."

Maybe it was the alcohol but he had never really revealed this much to Rachel. He was tired. He was always looking after Chandler, always making sure he was okay. Monica would deal with him. He wanted a night off.

"Then take a break. Look, Monica is probably going to deal with it, he's not alone….and we're not even supposed to be here."

"We aren't."

Rachel picked up her wine glass as did Ross. They clicked their glasses together and continued to drink. It was going to be their night. They continued to drink. One drink after the other, getting drunker and drunker.

After dinner, the two decided to go clubbing. Ross tried to remember the last time he had gone clubbing, he wasn't sure when but it didn't seem to matter. He and Rachel were together, getting closer and closer with each drink.

"Here you go, another vodka cranberry and a beer for me," Ross said as he handed Rachel her drink. He then grabbed Rachel's hand and the two made their way through the darkened club and found a couch to sit on.

"So good," Rachel said.

"I know."

"Question….who do you like better? Joey or Channer?" Rachel slurred.

"Who do you like better? Phoebe or Monica?" Ross asked.

"Does it bug you that Joey and Channer...Channer? Are closer than you?"

"Does it bug you?"

"No."

"Know what Rachel?"

"What?"

"We were on a break."

"We're still on break," Rachel said.

"Long ass break," Ross said.

"So okay….here's another question for you?"

"What?" Ross asked.

"Very important."

"Okay?"

"You been married now two times so who do you wanna marry third time?" Rachel asked.

"Michelle Piper."

"Piper?"

"Pfeiffer."

"Oh. She's pretty."

"I think so."

"Okay, fourth time? After your divorce from Michelle Piper?"

"Um, can I marry you?"

"Sure, I'm not doing anything."

"Cool."

"And you know what, Ross?"

"What?"

"We were not on a break. I will not marry you until you say we were not on a break."

"I'm not gonna," Ross said when some old mash up song began to blare through the speakers and Rachel jumped up, very excited.

"Dancey music. It's Madonna-Cher. Whoa, they're playing both at the same time. How do they do that?" Rachel asked.

"Technology. It's the wave of the future," Ross said which he finished with waving at her. Rachel laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him up. Ross wrapped his free arm around her waist as they danced, their bodies practically melting into one another. Rachel looked up at him as she sipped her drink, playfully biting the straw as she looked at him. "You want me to kiss you, don't you?"

"We're in Vegas, baby," Rachel cooed.

Ross leaned in and kissed her, hard. It felt good, amazing. He loved kissing her. His arm tightened around her as she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

The hours wore on for Ross and Rachel. They left that club and went to another and another. They were holding onto each other, stumbling and kissing as they practically fell down the street. It was a blur, whatever they were doing. Soon, they were at a Mexican restaurant drinking margaritas and eating nachos.

"Fun...this….fun...we gotta see drag...I wanna see Channer dad," Rachel said.

"That would be fun."

"I slept with him," Rachel said.

"What? You slept with Channer?"

"Ewwww, nooooo….Channer dad."

"That's gross. When?" Ross asked.

"When….I….it….I...I don't know….I was one."

"What?"

"Twenty-one."

"Oh."

"Oh, no….I didn't wanna tell you."

"It okay. I kissed Channer mom," Ross giggled.

"You did, I 'member that. We both kissed Channer parents. We gross."

"We are."

"Hey….I have an idea 'cause we kiss Channer parents."

"What?"

"Let's get married. That would be so much fun," Rachel said.

"I want grapes," Ross said, "I'm really missing grapes. I miss grapes."

He was craving grapes. He wasn't quite sure why but he was.

"But-but-but-we should go get married and then tell Channer and Mon-na that we are better than they are."

"Cool. But what about the grapes?"

"What about grapes?"

"We should eat the grapes because if we don't eat the grapes, who will eat the grapes? What if no one eats the grapes?" Ross asked.

"That's so sad."

"I know. Then the grapes will die. Then we'll be responsible for dead grapes."

"I don't want the grapes to die."

"Me neither," Ross said, drinking more of his margarita.

"Here's the plan. We will go get married and then we'll go eat the grapes to make sure they don't die."

"You're a smart person."

"Yes. Okay, we should have some tequila before we go."

"Yeah….but you know, I wanna tell the udders," Ross said.

"We should tell the udders. Okay, new plan. I'm gonna-you're gonna get tequila shots for us and then-okay I'm gonna call the Mon-na-na, the Channer, the Joey and the Pho-he and we'll tell 'em we're getting married and they should come-a-to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-a-a-a-rried….going to chapel and we're-"

"Save it. Wait. I'll get tequila."

"Okesy-dokesy," Rachel said as she walked off towards the phones and Ross stomped off towards the bar to get more shots for them. This would be the best night ever, he would be marrying Rachel. It was perfect. He got the shots and waited for Rachel to come stumbling back to the table.

"I left messages."

"Good….have a shot."

She picked up her shot glass and clicked it with his. They quickly downed their shots, paid and left. They began to stumble along until the reached The Little White Chapel and walked in. They scribbled their names and waited. Soon it was their turn and they soon stood in front of the altar.

"Remember to say my name, it's Rachel."

"I know your name."

"Good."

"I'll say your name all the time I get married."

"That's so sweet."

"Isn't it?"

The priest was dressed as Elvis and was performing the ceremony. When it got to the I Do's they did it. Ross did indeed say Rachel's name and before they knew it, they were married. When they left the chapel, they were thrilled, practically skipping and dancing out of the chapel.

"Now, we need grapes," Ross said.

"No, Ross. It's our honeymoon. We have to eat something."

"Okay. Pizza. I want pizza. Look, Pizza Hut," Ross said, pointing.

"You're a genius."

Rachel grabbed his arm and the two raced across the street towards the Pizza Hut. They walked into the Pizza Hut and looked at the waitress.

"We just got married," Rachel yelled.

"Yeah, it's our wedding dinner," Ross said.

"Congratulations. Dinner is on us," the waitress grinned.

"Do you have grapes?" Ross asked.

"We will check," the waitress said.

"The grapes are dying," Ross said as Rachel nodded wildly. The waitress took them to a table where they had beer and pizza and they were able to track down grapes. They ate a lot of pizza before deciding the next step would be to go back to their room and ring in the fact that they were now married.

They walked back towards the room, kissing and tearing at each other's clothes as they fell into the dark room and onto the bed. Rachel let out a groan as Ross held onto her. They kept kissing, touching, going back to those wonderful places, those wonderful moments that they had known so well. It had been so long and yet they fell right back into rhythm. They were Ross and Rachel.

The next morning, they awoke. Ross' head was pounding as he looked at Rachel who was squinting at him. She looked in pain as well.

"Good morning?" Rachel asked.

"Hmmm….what did we do last night?" Ross asked.

"Drank."

"Yeah….I don't….I don't think I've ever had that much to drink. Did we sleep together?"

"Maybe. Oh, Ross."

"I'm gonna shower….I'm gonna….we didn't...I just….I feel like I should remember something?"

"Shower. Oh G-d we drank so much….but….but I remember….we had fun."

"We did. Yeah….alright, I'm gonna...yeah," Ross said as he got out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom. He felt sick and was trying desperately to remember. He felt something happened that he needed to remember.

He and Rachel managed to get dressed and meet the rest of the group downstairs for breakfast. They grabbed a couple mimosas before sitting with the rest of the group who kept giving them awkward glances.

"What-what's going on?" Rachel asked as she poured coffee for herself and Ross.

"Well, are we going to talk about what you two did last night?" Chandler asked.

"What did we do?" Rachel asked.

"You got married," Joey said.

"We did-" Rachel's began before looking at Ross. His eyes widened as the memories of the previous night hit him. They had really gotten married. He had gotten married again.

"Oh my G-d," Ross said.

"You invited us to the wedding," Phoebe said.

"We were really drunk. How did they let us get married?" Ross asked.

"It's Vegas. They'll let you do anything here," Joey shrugged.

"Oh my G-d….well we have to….we have to do something. Ross-"

"We will get it annulled and we'll-that's what you'll do...we'll-"

"Can I say something?" Monica said, "this is Chandler and I's anniversary. We've been together, committed for a year and this was supposed to be our trip. I wanted it to be about us and not this. Honestly, this is supposed to be our celebration and not about Ross and Rachel getting married last night and…Ross, you're gonna divorced again?"

"Annulled," Ross said.

"Whatever….it's just….it's a big deal, we've made it a whole year. Chandler Bing has made it an entire year in a committed relationship," Monica said.

"I'm proud," Chandler said.

"You should be but can we please make this about us...please?" Monica asked as the other four exchanged looks. Rachel picked up her mimosa.

"Alright, we will discuss our marriage later….to Chandler and Monica," Rachel said.

"Yes, to Chandler and Monica and thank you for letting me invite myself," Phoebe said, lifting her mimosa as well. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Joey lifted their glasses as well and clinked them. Monica and Chandler shared a quick kiss as they drank. Ross and Rachel kept exchanging looks. They had actually gotten married. Ross and Rachel were husband and wife. This could not be happening. What the hell was wrong with him? He had made a New Year's Resolution to not get married in 1999, that should have been pretty easy. He felt like he could throw up all over again. He had always dreamt of marrying Rachel, but not like this.

Then again, he had thought of it. He had always wanted to marry Rachel. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe this was a sign. He could not get divorced again. He had just gotten divorced. He could not go through it again and he certainly could not go through it with Rachel. Rachel was his lobster, that's what Phoebe had always said. So maybe….

On the plane ride back, he kept looking at Rachel. It could be a possibility. If they were supposed to end up together, maybe Vegas was pushing them together?

"Can I ask you something? I have an idea," Ross said, breaking the silence between them. She looked at him.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Well, here's thing….I was thinking that you and I stay married."

"What?"

She was looking at him like he had lost his mind but maybe she needed a different perspective.

"Look, okay….hear me out, okay, you and I might one day actually get married so maybe this is just….speeding it up."

"What?"

"I don't want to get divorced."

"Ross, what are you-no, no...I'm not-no."

"Come on, look….I'm going to be thirty. I can't-I can't have three divorces before I'm thirty."

"Wait…." Rachel stared at him, "Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"It won't change anything and you and I-come on, you-"

"We're not staying married."

"I'm asking one small favor."

"I'm not doing this Ross. No."

"You owe me this favor."

"I owe you?"

"Well, I paid for Chandler's tires? You slashed them. That was expensive and I never told him about it."

"First, I paid you back. Second, Chandler knows because I told him and he wasn't mad because he no longer has the car. Try again."

"I don't want to be divorced a third time."

"I'm not doing this. I am not having this argument. No," Rachel said, putting her headphones on.

"Rachel."

"Shhhh," Rachel said, opening her magazine as she began to glance through it. Ross rested his head back against the headrest. The idea of getting divorced again threw him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go through everything all over again. There had to be another way.

When they landed back in New York, Ross had come up with a plan. He told Rachel he'd get their marriage annulled but maybe secretly he could do something else. He could possibly convince Rachel that they were still good together. If they were going to end up together anyway then maybe they could remain married. Maybe he could figure something out. A few days later, he called Rachel at work to tell her that he had the marriage annulled.

"Thank you, Ross."

"Yeah, you're welcome."

"I know you're upset but it's just….it's better this way."

"I'm gonna go. I'm...I have an interview at NYU."

"You do?"

"Teaching."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Ehhh, it's-I-should go."

"Ross, good luck."

"Thanks," Ross said as he hung up the phone and looked at Phoebe who had stopped by to wish him luck. When they had arrived back in New York, he had gotten a call saying that they wanted to interview him for a teaching position at NYU come September. So he would concentrate on that and maybe telling Rachel the marriage was over would buy him some time. He looked over at Phoebe who was staring at him, confused.

"You didn't get it annulled, did you?" Phoebe asked.

"What? Of course."

"Ross, you've been divorced twice. I've been divorced once, we both know it doesn't happen that quickly and also wouldn't Rachel need to sign something for it to be annulled?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm always shocked by what you know."

"Never underestimate me. Ross, did you really get the marriage annulled?"

"Please don't tell anyone. Especially not Rachel."

"Oh my G-d, what is wrong with you?"

"I don't wanna do this a third time. I'm not even thirty. I don't want to be divorced again and look Rachel and I are going to end up together anyway then maybe this just speeds up the process."

"No...wait, so you're just gonna have her go along not knowing she's married."

"Isn't she my lobster?"

"Yes...but Ross, you can't do this."

"I need to go to my interview."

"Ross."

"No, no...I can't do this right now. Look, I don't….this isn't, I'm not gonna do this. I want Rachel...I don't wanna be divorced again. I failed at this and...I need to go...please," Ross said as he walked towards the door. Phoebe stood up and followed him out. He would have to come up with something else. He'd have to find a way.

The interview went very well and he was offered a position at NYU. He'd be teaching paleontology courses, he'd be teaching the ones he used to take which excited him. He had never thought too much of teaching but it seemed like a great fit. He'd be starting up again in late August so he had the entire summer to enjoy himself before throwing himself back into the workforce. He also now had the entire summer to figure out a way to get Rachel back into his life.


	42. Chapter 42

**September 1999-October 1999**

Perhaps Monica and Chandler deciding to move in together was yet another sign he was doing the right thing. Chandler had decided to move in with Monica which meant Rachel needed to move out and he ended up asking Rachel to move in with him. It could work, maybe he could pull it off. He just couldn't tell her the truth and as the summer turned to fall he really could not tell her. It had gone on too long. He knew it was wrong. He knew when she found out, she'd be furious but he couldn't do it. He had lied and twisted this lie to something even bigger. By September, they were married four months unbeknownst to Rachel but Rachel was still moving in. She was moving into his apartment. Phoebe was also keeping it secret.

It was now the middle of September and Ross was also now officially a professor at NYU. He had never done a lesson plan or figured out stuff to teach. It was all completely new to him. He dug up old syllabuses and copied them. It was a good distraction from his lie. He could concentrate on work. Rachel was concentrating on her work. Maybe they could just go about their lives, working and eventually he'd let her know that they were married. He hadn't even thought much of it until one day, after work, he dropped his briefcase on his desk near his window and absent-mindedly looked across the way at Monica's apartment. He noticed Rachel, immediately, she looked incensed. He could see her pacing and flailing her arms and his stomach suddenly dropped as he had a feeling that she knew. He wasn't sure how, but he just knew. He took a deep breath and decided to maybe play it cool. He'd walk to Monica's apartment as if nothing was wrong, after all it was just a feeling.

"Hey, what's up?" Ross asked as he casually walked into Monica's apartment. Rachel turned and looked at him. She had a look in her eye that terrified him.

"Run, man, run," Joey said as Rachel raced towards him and shoved Ross towards the door. He stared at her, bewildered.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ross?" Rachel asked.

"You found out?" Ross asked, sounding embarrassed. She knew. His feeling was correct. The secret was out, the lie he had been so wanting to keep was now unraveling. How had she found out? Maybe she'd listen if he explained it? Maybe if she calmed down?

"Your divorce lawyer called. You never got it annulled. You've been lying this whole time."

"Okay look, I don't want three divorces. I'm going to be thirty in a few weeks and I don't want three divorces before I'm thirty. I just wanted that one thing," Ross tried.

"What about what I want? When is it ever going to be about what I want? I don't want to be married to you like this. I don't want our wedding be some drunk ass, spur of the moment thing in Vegas. I don't want that. I don't-it's never what I want with you….it's always what you want. When were you going to tell me?"

"Eventually….I would have told you and that's not-I think about you a lot," Ross tried. He really had no words. Rachel was kept yelling. He wanted to tell her? He wanted it to be all about her but going through another divorce seemed to override all of that.

"No….no….okay, I just….something changed with you when you and Emily got divorced or maybe it was before but something happened and I don't know this person….I don't think I like him that much….I have to go," Rachel said as she walked towards the door. "Monica and Phoebe?" She asked, looking back at them. The two women got up and followed Rachel out. Ross walked over to the couch and sat down.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Chandler asked.

"Have I really….she hates me?" Ross asked.

"Do you blame her?" Chandler asked.

"Why did you hide it from her?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, even I wouldn't do something that dumb," Chandler said.

"I don't know…I-you know, when I married Carol. I thought it was forever. Same with Emily. Why-I don't know-I just want to be with someone, you know and Rachel….I mean, come on-"

"Yeah, but you can't start a marriage like this," Chandler said. "You can't hide it from her."

"Besides, is this how you really want to be married to Rachel? Look, if this is something you've wanted forever….do you really want it to be because you were both really drunk and don't even remember it?" Joey asked.

"No, it's just….fuck, I fail at relationships. I mean, even you two are better than I am at this point….that's terrifying," Ross said.

"Hey, don't be a dick," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry, no, I'm thrilled that you and Monica are moving in together. I really am and...it's not how I pictured my life at almost thirty. I'm gonna be thirty next month and I'm gonna have three divorces before thirty."

"Yes, you've said that a lot...well, maybe next time….don't propose," Chandler said.

"I didn't propose to Rachel," Ross said, "and you're right, Joe….I want to marry Rachel but not like this."

"And dude...alright, I don't wanna say this but you tell me when I'm an asshole so I'm gonna return the favor, stop being an asshole," Chandler said.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked.

"I actually agree with Rachel. Look, I'm sorry about Carol. She should have...I don't know, maybe she wasn't ready. Sometimes people aren't ready to admit things about themselves and yeah, people might get hurt but yeah, in a perfect world, Carol would have told you she was a lesbian and you wouldn't have gotten married. She wasn't ready. You can't force people to admit things they're not ready to admit...do you hear me?" Chandler asked, giving him a look which Ross got immediately. Chandler wasn't just talking about Carol.

"Yeah, I do," Ross said.

"And Emily...yeah, maybe I'm a commitment-phobe but hey, that fear prevents me from marrying someone I barely know. You shouldn't have gotten married to Emily. You shouldn't have. That's on you. I wouldn't have married Janice. I wouldn't have married Kathy. I didn't love Janice enough and I barely knew Kathy. I would have married Lizzie and I will definitely marry your sister...at some point, but I know her pretty well. I knew Lizzie pretty well. Something changed after Carol, or Emily...not sure...but come on, Rachel? You're gonna pull this shit with Rachel? It's not about you, man. You're not better than us. Yeah, I'm always gonna be grateful for you and your friendship, but you're not better than me and you're not better than Joey...or the rest of us," Chandler said.

"I never said I was," Ross said.

"You do sometimes act like it," Joey said. "I'm on Chandler's side here."

"You are?" Ross asked.

"And-and Rachel's...you should've told her. You should've annulled the marriage."

"You're being an ass and you're being arrogant. Stop it," Chandler said.

Ross lets out a sigh and let Chandler's words sink in. Chandler did have a point. Ross still felt like crap. He stayed for a bit longer before retreating back to his apartment. Rachel's stuff was still there. She was unpacking. He walked towards one of her giant sketchpads and opened it. She had designed some outfits, dresses, skirts, everything was terrific. He noticed near one of her boxes, a shoebox. He knew what that was, Rachel's shoebox filled with memories. Things she felt she needed to save. He opened the box and started looking at the things in there. There was a MASH game between her and Ross assumed, Monica. He smiled as he noticed Chandler had been one of Monica's potential husbands. He saw Brian's obituary and the clipping from Chandler's car accident when he had crashed his Corvette. There were old friendship bracelets and things that Ross had given her during their relationship. He could not remain married to Rachel. Not under these circumstances.

There was a pounding at the door and Ross assumed it was still Rachel. He put her stuff back and put the shoebox in a box and walked over to the door. He opened it to let Monica in. She was furious.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Monica asked.

"It's complicated," Ross tried.

"It's not that complicated, Ross."

"Yes it is. I have been divorced now three times and I'm turning thirty next week. I will be divorced three times before I'm thirty," Ross said although even he was getting sick of that line. It just seemed so pointless now.

"You didn't need to get married in Vegas. Hell, you and Rachel didn't even need to come to Vegas. You weren't invited. You screwed up my anniversary with my boyfriend and I'm sorry that things are so fucked up between you and Rachel but you crashed our anniversary and you had no right to do that."

"We didn't mean to screw it up, we were drunk and got married and it was an accident," Ross said and besides they had been invited by Phoebe. They didn't realize they weren't meant to go on the trip until it was too late.

"I-I don't...I-Chandler and I are moving in together. This is a big deal for both of us. We are probably going to get married and-that's-why can't I just enjoy that Ross? I have to worry about this? It's not fair," Monica yelled.

"It was a drunken mistake. It wasn't done on purpose."

"I just...okay, either you and Rachel need to be together or break up and move on and stop interfering with my life," Monica said as she turned and stormed out of his apartment, angry. He hated everyone being angry with him. He knew he would be found out eventually and the fallout was awful. He knew he had to divorce Rachel. The next day, he set up an appointment with the divorce lawyer and went through with it. Rachel was still mad and she was no longer going to live with him, instead she decided to live with Phoebe.

The night of his thirtieth, he declined every invitation. He would stay home. He would just be by himself. Of course, that didn't work and Phoebe was over at his place to try and convince him to come over to Monica's. He really had no desire to go anywhere. What would he be celebrating?

"So...Rachel's moving in with me," Phoebe said as she walked in, closing the door behind her. Ross walked over to his couch and sat back down. Phoebe sat next to him.

"I know. You'll make great roommates," Ross said.

"I'm sorry. I wish it had gone another direction. Your marriage with Rachel."

"Three divorces, Phoebe. Three. I'm thirty today and I have been divorced three times. I know I should have been honest with Rachel. I should have said the right name at my wedding to Emily. I should have realized Carol was lesbian. But...three," Ross said. It was becoming annoying, maybe Janice had a point? He was obnoxious.

"I'm divorced. Duncan and I were married."

"I still beat you. G-d...fuck, when am I gonna get this right?"

"You will. Ross, you will. I have no doubt. Maybe you and Rachel will get together."

"No, it's done now. There's no way. I don't deserve her. What is wrong with me? I mean, I don't think I'm that unattractive but...something's wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you. Okay, maybe you should have been more honest, but you...you're going to be okay and we wanna celebrate your birthday. Come next door. Monica made fajitas. Rachel made the slow death smoothies-"

"Well, she probably does want me dead."

"You know that's not true."

"I know...it's..."

"Come on and Chandler says we're watching _Animal House _and _Die Hard_."

"Good. He introduced me to those movies...wait, so no Hot Dog movie?"

"No, that's only when Chandler or I are feeling bad."

"That's good. 'Cause that movie sucks. So Rachel is moving in with you?" Ross asked although he wasn't sure why he was asking. He already knew the answer. It had already been well established.

"Yeah."

"And Monica and Chandler are moving in together. They're gonna get it right. I never thought they'd get it right before me."

"Why not?"

"Well, Monica's my younger sister and I always figured I would be first and it would stick and Chandler...just stuff we've talked about in the past. They're gonna last."

Ross felt sad. He had really never thought Chandler would actually be better in a relationship than he would and that thought made him feel like an awful friend. He quickly recalled what Chandler had told him. Maybe he was being arrogant? Maybe he needed to stop being arrogant? Why wouldn't it work between Monica and Chandler? It had always worked and far better than himself and Rachel.

"You know, you'll get it right too. Somehow...we'll all get it right. I have to believe that. I thought Duncan was right. Oh, I thought he was so right. He was so wonderful to me. I traveled the world because of him-"

"He shouldn't have let you go clubbing in a foreign country."

"Joey and Chandler told you?"

"Yeah."

"What else did they tell you?" Phoebe asked.

He noticed Phoebe's demeanor suddenly change and she seemed nervous. Chandler and Joey had told him a little about Prague. She had gone clubbing alone, apparently. Although, he wondered if there was more.

"Nothing...just that Duncan was an ass who let you roam around Prague late at night alone."

"Oh...yeah. But I still loved him. So much so that with the exception of maybe David, I never thought of anyone else. I went out but I always believed it was gonna be Duncan. I spent practically all of my twenties believing that and now I'm thirty one and I'm single...hoping that I too will eventually get it right. We all have baggage, Ross...look at your sister and Chandler? They have so much baggage, they're just gonna date each other. Chandler especially has baggage."

"That's true. You'll find someone better than Duncan. I know you will. Duncan seems like a jerk...and I should know."

"You're not a jerk. You're sweet."

"Thanks...wow."

"What?"

"No, I just...I always thought you liked Joey and Chandler more than me," Ross said.

"I do."

Ross smiled a little and shook his head. He had his moments with Phoebe but it always seemed like Phoebe was closer to everyone else but him. Although, they had their one moment after he and Carol had broken up. That had been a wonderful moment.

"Thanks."

"Well, I mean, when I first moved in, Chandler was my partner in crime and we get each other. A lot. We have a lot of the same crap that we've dealt with. Joey is...I get him too. He's sweet and kind. I just have never really gotten the chance to know you...but I'd like to and maybe you can come over and we could celebrate."

"You know, Pheebs….we don't really give you enough credit."

"I know," Phoebe said.

"We've had moments though. I mean, right after Carol and I separated and you and I are the only ones who know what it's like to be divorced," Ross said.

"Well, thanks to you...now Rachel does."

"Yeah," Ross said.

"Come on...will you come and celebrate. It's still your birthday."

Ross nodded as Phoebe pulled him up. The two walked out of the apartment and across the street to Monica's. As they walked in, Monica went up to hug him.

"I'm sorry," Ross whispered in her ear.

"I know," Monica said, "me too." Rachel approached him as well with a drink in her hand.

Ross and Monica stopped hugging as Rachel approached him as well with a drink in her hand.

"Hey...I'm glad you're here," Rachel said.

"You are?" Ross asked, sounding confused.

"Yes...of course. It's your birthday and I wanna celebrate with my ex-husband," Rachel grinned.

Ross let out a snort as she linked her arm in his and walked him towards the couch. "We will talk later," she said, whispering to him as he nodded. Rachel then turned to the rest of the group, "And can I make a suggestion, guys, next year, Mon and I are going to be thirty and can we step it up a bit. I mean, Joey's thirtieth was a sob fest because he couldn't stop crying-"

"It's just so hard," Joey said as he choked up again.

"Three more months till thirty-two," Chandler grinned.

"Go to hell, Bing," Joey shot back which made Chandler laugh.

"Alright, Joey cried, Phoebe was pregnant during her birthday, we forgot Chandler's and Ross...well, we're getting a divorce," Rachel said.

"Thank you, Rachel," Ross said.

"I'm just saying, Monica and I are next. Let's step this up, people," Rachel said.

"I agree," Monica said.

"Okay, we can celebrate my birthday twice. Once on my birthday and then for the second time on Rachel's," Chandler said.

"I don't play that way, Bing," Rachel said.

The group laughed as they began to settle in for Ross' birthday celebration which included movies, fajitas, and more drinking. Although, there was a tension still between Ross and Rachel and while there was a game of poker going on, Rachel and Ross decided to take a break to talk on the balcony.

"I want to say I'm sorry, Rach...I really am. I should have told you and I shouldn't have lied and….and no, I don't think it's all about me," Ross said. He just wanted her forgiveness. If only she knew just how much he thought of her.

"I know."

"I just snapped. I want you to like me again," Ross said.

"I will always like you. That's the problem. I will always like you."

"Same here and you know, I know I get divorced a lot. This one will be the hardest. Definitely the most painful," Ross said.

"Same here. Yeah...I get it. When we do get married, it will be right. I want it to be right," Rachel said,

"I know. Will you do me another favor?"Ross asked.

"Maybe."

"Will you go with me to go shopping for a ring? You won't get it now, but when you're ready, you'll let me know."

"Romantic."

"Yeah, but if I buy it on my own, you'll return it."

"True. You know, before our wedding….I did have fun with you."

"Me too."

Ross kept staring out towards his apartment. He would marry Rachel, but he'd do it better. He would do it correctly. It would be one they would remember. That one would stick. There would be no more marriages for him because he would marry Rachel again. It was a promise he would keep.

"You know, it is partially my fault. I mean, I was the one that suggested the marriage and bad things just happen to me in Vegas. I lose complete control," Rachel said.

"It is Vegas," Ross said, shrugging.

"Yeah….did I ever tell you about the time I slept with Chandler's dad?" Rachel asked.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked, his eyes widening. Did she just say what he thought she just said? He just kept staring at her. When had this happened?

"I told you when we were wasted."

"I don't remember this. What?" Ross asked, trying to recall this.

"Do not tell him."

"I won't."

"On my twenty-first birthday, I saw his dad's drag show. Helena invited us to a party, I got about as drunk as I did with you and then…."

"You were still dating Barry, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Were you on a break?" Ross asked, grinning.

"Shush. Barry went to go see Barry Manilow with Mindy and some others and I drank and Helena okay, Helena still has all the man parts...from the next down, Helena is still Charles Bing."

"Oh, G-d….Rach."

"I know. Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler do not know."

"I am so glad you're telling me this and I will not say anything. You know, we could totally blame Vegas."

"We could. I love you Ross."

"I love you too."

The two shared a hug when Chandler peered his head out the window.

"Hey, you two...we're starting Twister and we need you guys."

"Alright, alright….don't be such a drag," Ross joked. Rachel elbowed him.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," Ross said as the two followed Chandler back into the apartment to play more games. As they climbed back in, Ross stopped Chandler as Rachel went to join the group. He had not really said much to Chandler since their conversation and he felt he wanted to clear the air with his friend as well. "Hey, by the way...I don't think I'm better than you and I heard what you said."

"Sorry-"

"No, I'm sorry and yeah, I can learn a few things from you on relationships."

"Really?" Chandler asked.

"Hey, three divorces to zero."

"True."

"And it's pretty awesome that you've gotten to this point where you're okay living with my sister."

"I can't wait. I'm terrified but I can't wait," Chandler said.

"Good, you've come a long way man and the other part of what you said about people sometimes not being ready to admit things about themselves-"

"Ross."

"No, just...when you are ready-"

"I know. Just not yet. I can't yet."

"Okay."

"But...but I do...I know there might be a problem. I know I-I do more than you guys and-and-drink more. I just...I can't yet. Not now. I'm not ready yet."

"Okay, got it," Ross said, realizing it was the first time Chandler had ever really said that there might be something wrong.

"Twister?" Chandler asked, Ross nodded as they went to rejoin the group. It ended on a much better note than when it started. Rachel would not end up his roommate and maybe he should have played the marriage differently but one day it work. He knew where his story needed to end up and it needed to end with Rachel.

A few weeks later, Ross and Rachel's divorce was finalized and Ross took Rachel ring shopping. Walking into Tiffany's, they looked at engagement rings. They would tell no one that they were there but it would be a promise to each other that they knew where their story would end.

"That one," Rachel pointed at one in particular. He placed it on her finger and she smiled, giving him a kiss. It was the one and he bought it. As they walked out, she handed him the box with the ring inside. He placed it in his jacket pocket.

"So...you and I? It will end with you and I," Ross said.

"Yeah, I just...I want our wedding to be with everyone. I want it to be special. I want it to be...I want to stand there and know we worked so hard to get to that point and we're both finally at that spot and I don't know if we're at that spot yet. I want to be at that spot."

"You're still my lobster."

"You're mine...but right now, maybe we figure out ourselves."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Rachel held Ross' hand and kissed him as they continued to walk off. When he got home that day, he put the ring in a safe along with other valuables. That would be Rachel's ring...when they were finally ready.


	43. Chapter 43

**November 1999-March 2000**

Monica and Chandler's first night alone in their apartment. Ross could see it across the way. He watched them as Monica began cooking them dinner and Chandler plopped himself down on the couch, turning on the television. He kept looking back towards Monica and Monica kept laughing. He wasn't sure what it was that broke him about it, about seeing them. He knew they fit. They fit so perfectly well. Rachel and Phoebe had decided to hang out that night, Joey had a date and Ross was by himself. He needed to get out of his apartment. Watching the two together almost made him sad. Even without hearing what they were saying, he knew they got it. They were an item, a team. He watched as Chandler reached over and grabbed the phone to make a call. Ross looked back at his phone to see if Chandler was calling him but was a little disappointed to see he was not.

About ten minutes later, he jumped at the sound of the phone, grabbing it, he instinctively looked back at Monica and Chandler's place to see if Chandler was calling but was a little stunned to hear Joey instead.

"Hey dude….I'm out with some old buddies of mine-"

"I thought you had a date?"

"Change of plans."

"Oh."

"I figured you were home by yourself and in case you didn't wanna spend the night staring at Monica and Chandler-"

"I'm not staring-" Ross stopped and looked back towards the window to see Chandler now staring back at him, he could see him grinning wildly from across the way, "shit head," Ross muttered and flipped him off. Chandler laughed.

"So stop being creepy and come out and play. I'm at Umbertos."

"Alright, I'll be there," Ross said before hanging up. He looked back out his window and picked up the phone, waiting for Chandler to pick up.

"We don't want any," Chandler said as soon as he picked up. Ross could see Chandler staring at him through the window so he flipped him off again.

"You're an asshole."

"Go play with Joey. It's fun to play with Joey. He's more fun than I am. He can hold his booze. It's like partying with Phoebe," Chandler said.

"Looking forward to it."

"Although, I should warn you. Joey's outside the six of us friends are a little different than Jonathan and Sam….or Tyler," Chandler said, referring to his own friend outside the six of them.

"What do you mean?"

"He's got some buddies that are little rough around the edges."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yeah….you won't really be discussing comic books or the adventures of Science Boy and Two Face. Where are you going?"

"Umbertos?"

"I've been there. Umbertos Clam House. It's in Little Italy. It's a gangster hangout."

"Are you kidding me?" Ross asked.

"Nope. Apparently back in the seventies, a gangster guy was murdered there in the middle of his own birthday."

"Oh my G-d."

"I think Joey was there when it happened," Chandler said.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, I think he was like four at the time but yep….don't worry though, you'll have a good time," Chandler said.

"Okay….alright, so you doing okay over there? Do you need help?"

"Oh, G-d. Come on, Ross. I'm not drunk. I don't walk around in a perpetual state of drunk," Chandler said.

"That's not what I meant and yes, you do. I meant….I lived with my sister for eighteen years, Phoebe lived with her and moved out secretly about a year later, Rachel lived there for a year before she was allowed to buy a clock for the living room….and one throw pillow. I know my sister and I know it's only been a few hours but-"

He could hear Chandler starting to laugh, "hey, Mon….your brother wants to know if you've driven me crazy yet."

Ross laughed as well as he watched Monica grab the phone out of Chandler's hand.

"I let him have the barcalounger. So shut up," Monica said.

"Only one," Ross said.

"Well, I didn't want Joey to be sad. You know….fuck, both of you can suck my balls," Monica grumbled as Chandler was cracking up as he took the phone back.

"Isn't my girlfriend classy?" Chandler asked.

"Gassy or classy?" Ross asked.

"A little of both."

"That's more than I needed to know. I'll go play with Joey. Let me know if you need us to save you. We might need a safe word, future brother in law."

"I hate you," Chandler said.

Ross laughed as he hung up and left his apartment for the Umbertos. As he got into a cab, he fished for his cell phone and immediately dialed. He knew who he needed to call.

"Hey," Rachel said as she picked up.

"What are you up to?" Ross asked.

"Phoebe and I are playing tonight. First we're going to junkyard to see where she used to live-"

"Sounds fun."

"I have to see it. She still has the clothes she stole from Olivia's….I have to see it. Then we're gonna go hang out with Phoebe's friends at a bar at Port Authority where she also used to live and work….I really wanna see everything. Where are you going?"

"Meeting up with Joey and his buddies at a place called Umbertos. According to Chandler, it's got mob ties."

"Whoa. We need to have lunch tomorrow."

"We do," Ross said as he hung up and soon arrived at Umbertos Clam House. He walked in to see Joey sitting at a table surrounded by a large group of people. He looked up and noticed Ross and quickly waved him over. As Ross neared the table, a couple people got up and made room for him. He sat next to Joey and felt a little uncomfortable.

"So...who are all these people?" Ross asked.

"Friends. So what are you gonna get?" Joey asked.

"Is there anything besides clams?" Ross asked.

"Of course," Joey said, tossing him a menu.

"Is it true that you saw someone get killed here?" Ross asked.

"No," Joey said, rather matter of factly.

"Joey, hey, baby," a woman walked over to the table and sat down with them. She had long blonde hair and was wearing an outfit that left very little to the imagination.

"Hey, baby...oh, Kristi, this is my friend Ross. Kristi and I go way back," Joey said.

"Is your uncle gonna be here tonight?" Kristi asked.

"No, no. He's got some business in Jersey," Joey said.

"What kind of business?" Ross asked.

"Business," Joey said. "Christopher should be here tonight. I think The Horse is coming. Not sure."

"The Horse?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, The Horse. He's a good guy. So Kristi, what have you been doing?" Joey asked.

"Well, I'm still dancing and-"

"Get out of that," Joey said.

"I'm not...hey, I'm not lucky like you, Joe. Acting jobs are not being handed to me. I don't have a Sugar Daddy like you," Kristi said.

"I don't have a Sugar Daddy," Joey said.

"The poor sap who's payin' for your apartment? I met him once, real cute...kinda weird," Kristi said.

"Oh, yeah him….he's not my Sugar Daddy. He's my brother. He just-he moved out anyway. He's got a steady girl but anyway, Kristi, I just hate seeing you dance. I'm sitting there at Starlets and up there is a girl I went to kindergarten with workin' the pole. It ruins it for me."

"Well, you're a good tipper, Joe. Your Sugar Daddy was also good."

"Yeah, he's not gonna come around anymore and he's not my Sugar Daddy," Joey argued. Kristi laughed as she got up, grinning at him. She truly did look like a Barbie Doll.

"Alright, I'm getting a drink, you want something?" Kristi asked.

"You bet," Joey said. "Usual."

"Got it and Ross?" Kristi asked.

"Um," Ross said, he had been so stunned that he hadn't even thought to look at the menu. He picked it up and looked at the menu, "uhhhh…."

"He'll get what I'm getting," Joey said.

Kristi nodded and walked off. Ross looked over Joey who seemed strangely at ease in this environment. It reminded him of a party he, Jonathan and Will had once gone to in Queens with the guy who seemed way too confident with girls all over him. He remembered how they nicknamed him The Keymaster.

"Oh, by the way, do not mention mafia things here. No one got killed here or-"

"Did they?" Ross asked.

Joey let out a sigh, "yeah, when I was about four, I came here with my family for dinner and saw someone get shot to death…..on his birthday. It's not mentioned. Okay."

"Okay."

"Be cool."

"I think you're asking a lot of me," Ross said.

"I understand that," Joey said, grinning at him, "but I got Chandler to be cool. I can get you….and the first time I brought Chandler, he just began repeating lines from The Godfather and Scarface. He asked me to say hello to his little friend at least eighty three times."

"Sounds about right."

Joey laughed as Ross let out a breath. He looked around at the dimly lit restaurant that was decorated with Christmas lights. He could imagine the deals going on, the heated discussions about people owing other people money. It was strange to see Joey in the atmosphere.

"Christopher," Joey said as he waved over another friend of his. Ross looked up and noticed a skinny guy walk over and sit across from Joey.

"You know, I hate coming here," Christopher said in a hushed whisper.

"I know."

"If Uncle Tony knew we were frequenting Matty the Horse's establishment, who knows what he'd do?" Christopher asked.

"He ain't gonna do a damn thing. He knows me and where I stand, don't worry," Joey said.

"Who's this pussy?" Christopher asked.

"My buddy, Ross. He's good," Joey said.

"Hi, I'm….Ross," he said as he extended his hand. Christopher gave him a look and shook his hand.

"You his new Sugar Daddy?" Christopher asked.

"He was not my Sugar Daddy. He's my brother. He was helping me out….but...he's not now. He moved out," Joey said.

"Awww," Christopher said.

"Don't 'awww' me, you would do well with a buddy like that," Joey said.

"Didn't he repeat mobster movie quotes all night long?" Christopher asked.

"Yeah, of course," Joey said.

"Alright, anyway, I do have a favor. I got something-" Christopher said and Ross noticed Joey's demeanor change. He sat up a little straighter and stared at Ross.

"I'm not doing this," Joey said.

"Come on, look, this guy Junior-"

"Christopher, I'm not involved," Joey said.

"What? Your Sugar Daddy moved out, how you gonna pay your rent?" Christopher asked, "I mean, you could easily make fifty grand on this job."

"I'm not doing this. That is not my life. " Joey said, quite matter of factly.

Christopher let out a grunt and looked like he was about to say more when Kristi returned to the table with a brunette and a redhead. All three looked like Barbie Dolls. Ross did not say much the entire evening, just watched in amazement at the world Joey belonged to. It was like watching a movie. It was also kinda cool. For as weird as it all was, he knew he was safe. Joey would keep him protected.

Ross and Rachel met up for their lunch date the next day to discuss their respective evenings. Phoebe and Rachel had hung out with Phoebe's friends. She had seen how Phoebe had lived. She had seen the loot that Phoebe had stolen from Olivia's and kept talking and talking about it.

"...and I saw the junkyard. She really slept in a Buick. I hate now the stuff that I said. It was awful. Have you seen the junkyard?" Rachel asked as she grabbed some nachos and placed them on her plate.

"No."

"You should."

"I don't know if I want to. I mean, it wasn't a great time in her life and she's past that," Ross said as he took a bite of one of his tacos.

"Yeah and by the way, she stole some good stuff. Man….really good stuff. I'll never tell my aunt but...and also, Bonnie….I saw her last night. She hates you."

"Yeah, figured. Does she hate you?"

"No, I got her to like me. I explained that you and I are insane."

"That's a good explanation."

"It was such a weird world. She really….I was listening to these stories and I wish I had listened back then but wow….she's amazing. Phoebe is amazing and I don't even know how she is still alive. The stuff she's gone through, it's like...why hasn't Oprah called her yet? One of the dresses has blood stains on it because she was stabbed and after she saw that movie with Chandler...oh okay, you know how we've always wondered how she got the money to pay for school?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. I don't even think she had student loans."

"Chandler paid for it."

"Excuse me?"

"Chandler's a trust fund kid. That's how he got Sally the Corvette in the first place."

"Sally Dissisa Corvette," Ross corrected.

"Right. Apparently, a few years after that movie he ran into Phoebe on a subway and she unloaded on him and he anonymously paid for the whole thing. According to Phoebe, his initial reason to pay for it was so that Monica and Lizzie would stop calling him selfish and it would impress them-"

"Well, Lizzie doesn't know 'cause I remember talking about Phoebe with Lizzie and we were wondering that and Monica-"

"Monica found out because Phoebe told her like five years ago so he didn't even tell Lizzie or Monica and it was all to impress them."

"He's a trust fund kid?"

"Yeah."

"That explains so much now. That's why Chandler wanted Phoebe to move in with Monica and he cried at her graduation and….that's why he took such good care of Pheebs when she moved in. Wow."

"I know. How was Joey?"

"I was in a mob movie. He's really good friends with a stripper and one of his cousins tried to get him do a job and….he's-the place we were at yesterday, Joey once saw a guy get killed there."

"Whoa. Wow...so I guess this is how our group is now. The dynamics are changing. Phoebe and I and you and Joey. Monica and Chandler are….they're the couple."

"Ehhh, you and I will always be the couple."

"We will. We started the trend," Rachel said.

"I know, right?" Ross asked.

"It is strange though….not living in Monica's apartment anymore. It's no longer my home. A lot of good memories there but I'm excited to live with Phoebe. We're gonna go clubbing."

"Maybe all four of us could go?" Ross asked.

"Yeah."

There was change. It was slow but with Monica and Chandler now living together, it was obvious. The pairs were starting to change. The group dynamics were starting to shift. Phoebe and Rachel were starting to become closer as were Joey and Ross. The holidays even felt a little different and even though Chandler wasn't ready to even admit it, Ross wondered if it would soon happen. If Chandler Bing would eventually become his brother in law….

1999 soon turned to 2000 and by Monica's thirtieth birthday in March, the group had gotten used to its new structure. Chandler was throwing Monica an ultimate Monica Surprise Party and the group was excited to hang out altogether or at least celebrate another thirtieth birthday. Joey and Ross were picking up food and soon arrived to an empty apartment with trays of appetizers in hand.

"Chandler?" Ross yelled as they placed the trays on the table.

"Ugh, what kinda stuff did he order? It smells fancy," Joey said.

"It's a Monica party," Ross shrugged, "Chandler, you here?"

"Uh, yeah...I'll be right out," Chandler yelled from the bathroom, soon opening the door and grinning at them. "Hello, chillen." Chandler said. Ross and Joey exchanged a look. Chandler seemed a little off.

"You alright buddy?" Joey asked.

"Are you drunk?" Ross asked.

"No, no...what...let's...what's going on," Chandler said. Joey and Ross kept exchanging looks but Chandler seemed to ignore it. Did he take something? Chandler was slurring a little and Ross wondered what was going on but it seemed apparent Chandler was not going to say anything.

The party was very typical for his sister. Everyone was dressed in their finest and Joey and Ross were going to town on the little hot dogs.

"So, let me ask you about your friend Kristi-"

"You want me to set you up with her? I don't know if she wants to get married," Joey said.

"I'm not proposing...just gonna ask, 'cause I should've asked earlier….she's very nice, how did she become a stripper?"

"How does anyone become a stripper?"

"True. So did your cousin Christopher ever find anyone to do that job?"

"You really wanna know?" Joey asked.

"No."

"Thought so."

"I will say, it's been kinda fun getting to know you better these last four months."

"I know how to have a good time. Kristi has a some friends, Kelli, Wendi, Brittani and Staci-"

"Are these all names that end in 'i'?"

"Yes. They are having a party next week. You up for it, buddy?"

"I'm up for it."

"You may not propose marriage to anyone while we're there."

"I'm not-go away," Ross said as Joey laughed. Ross glared at him when they heard a banging outside the door. Chandler walked outside and soon came back in with Monica who was clearly drunk.

"Hmmm, guess Mon is taking after Chandler," Joey muttered as Chandler walked Monica towards Phoebe, Rachel and Monica's friends from high school, Ellie and Laurie. He watched as the four women took over and soon disappeared into Monica and Chandler's room and Chandler walked towards them.

"Monica's drunk?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, guess she had a few birthday drinks before….yeah," Chandler said.

"You alright, man?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine," Chandler said, "just want this to be a good party. Remember? Both Monica and Rachel want their thirtieth birthday parties to be better than any of ours were. Well, yours….mine you just forgot."

"Get over it," Joey said. "We celebrated you later."

"I don't let things go. So wait, Joe, am I never going with you to Umbertos again 'cause you got Ross? I've been waiting for my invite?" Chandler asked.

"No, I'll take you….I'll take you both."

"I just saw Scarface again...so I'm ready," Chandler said.

"You know they call you his Sugar Daddy," Ross said.

"I know and he's besties with a stripper," Chandler said.

"It's really not that glamorous," Joey said, "you really don't want to know what I've seen or done."

"We kinda do," Chandler said.

"I know," Ross said.

Joey simply laughed as he popped another hot dog in his mouth. Soon, Monica emerged from her bedroom and the party went forward with Monica sobering up which he thought was hilarious.

"How much did you drink?" Ross asked, approaching Monica who was pouring herself a cup of water.

"Too much. This is a nice party. It's a fantastic party and I forgot his birthday."

"It's okay. You can't keep beating yourself up over that."

"I know, eventually I'll stop."

"Why didn't you ever tell me he paid for Phoebe's education?" Ross asked.

"They didn't want me to tell. I love him….I really do. You know what? I think we're gonna get married."

"I can see it."

"Hey, guys….you feel better, Mon," Chandler said.

"Yeah, I'm lucky. I'm gonna go talk to my girls," Monica said as she walked off towards Rachel and Phoebe.

"This is a good party."

"Thanks," Chandler said.

"Were you drunk earlier?"

"Not talking about it."

"Okay….why didn't you ever tell me you were a trust fund kid?"

"Who told you about Phoebe's education?"

"Rachel. Phoebe told her. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't wanna make it a deal."

"It is a deal. You're a good guy," Ross said.

"Thanks, okay...I'm gonna liven up this party," Chandler said walking off. The party slowly did begin to wind down and Joey and Ross found themselves polishing off more of the appetizers as people began leaving. As Rachel and Phoebe were about to leave, Chandler walked them out to talk to them as Monica remained seated not saying much until Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel returned.

"Mon, sweetie, do you wanna hang out with us?" Rachel asked.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yeah. We figured this party kinda looks like it's over and you know, we haven't had a girls night in a long time...we will continue celebrating your birthday," Phoebe said.

"Okay...Chandler, are you gonna be okay?" Monica asked.

"I'm fine. I got food, booze and _Die Hard_," Chandler said, instead.

"Yeah, we're not going anywhere," Ross said.

"I gotta finish this," Joey said. "Dude, did someone finish the crab cakes?"

"No, there's a tray right here," Ross said as he handed Joey a tray. Joey took it and dug in.

Monica laughed as she stood up and walked towards Chandler, giving him a kiss and squeezing his arm. She smiled at him as she turned to follow Phoebe and Rachel out into the night. Chandler turned and walked towards the guest room, shutting the door behind him. Joey stopped eating to look over at Ross.

"Twenty bucks says he's back on something," Joey said.

Ross looked at him and got up, walking towards the guest room. He opened the door and shut it behind him.

"I'm getting _Die Hard_. We'll watch out there," Chandler said.

"Are you on something again?"

"What?"

"Today, earlier...did you fall off the wagon?" Ross asked, he wanted to try again.

"No. No...don't be ridiculous."

"Chandler, come on."

"It's fine...I just...I got some bad news," Chandler said.

"What?"

"Sophie has cancer. She's dying," Chandler said.

"Oh...oh," Ross' demeanor changed as he looked at him. Sophie was Chandler's housekeeper as well as Rachel's but she was closer to Chandler's family.

"No, no...it's...I'm fine."

"Want me to get Phoebe back here and we can watch the _Hot Dog Movie_?" Ross asked.

"No. No...it's okay. Although...we have said that Phoebe's laugh could cure cancer. Maybe she can come with me to visit Sophie."

"You trying to make a joke?"

"A little."

"Not one of your better ones."

"Can't all be winners...look, can we just watch _Die Hard_," Chandler said.

"Yeah...just please don't do anything stupid. Please?"

"I'll be out in a sec. Just gotta find the movie."

"Alright," Ross said as he walked out of the room and sat down next to Joey who was staring at him. "Yep, he's back on something."

"Shit."

"How did you figure it out?" Ross asked.

"I just knew."

"Hopefully it won't get too bad?"

"Hopefully."

Chandler walked out of the guestroom with _Die Hard._ The boys gathered all the appetizers and started watching. Chandler seemed a little out of it but they wouldn't push, maybe now was not the time to push.

The next morning, Monica had wanted a birthday brunch so the celebration continued with Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross all over to eat bagels and drink coffee. The group gathered together in Monica and Chandler's apartment and when they finally emerged from their room, Chandler walked over to both Rachel and Phoebe and planted a short, sweet peck on the top of each of their heads as he said good morning. Rachel and Phoebe both smiled.

"Awww, you told him," Rachel said.

"Of course," Monica said.

Ross was a little confused as to what was going on, wondering what Monica could have possibly told them?

"Hey, when I try to kiss you two like that, you punch me," Joey said.

"I don't try to unhook their bras when I do it," Chandler grinned as he took a seat next to Monica who leaned in to kiss him.

"Technicality," Joey mumbled.

"Alright, I'm next. Let's make this thirtieth count. I'm the last one," Rachel said.

"Ten more months until Joey is thirty three," Chandler said.

"I'm gonna punch you," Joey said.

"Well, let's not forget my birthday is next month, before Rachel's," Chandler said.

"We remember...I have a birthday idea for you though," Monica said.

"You do?" Chandler asked.

"Miniature Golf," Monica said.

"Mon, we're in our thirties," Ross said, that did seem rather dumb.

"I know but Chandler had a party at a miniature golf course when he was eleven and apparently it didn't go very well," Monica said.

"I caught my parents having a threesome in front of those windmills," Chandler said.

"Nice," Joey said.

"Okay, we'll do golf for Chandler's and then for Rachel's we will figure something out," Monica said.

The joy was cut short by a phone call. Phoebe's apartment was on fire. Everything ruined and now Rachel would have to live with Joey and Phoebe would be staying with Monica. Ross had thought of offering Rachel his spare room but thought better of it, thinking it might be too awkward considering their history and he thought Phoebe probably would refuse. So there was yet another change to the already changing group. Rachel and Joey were now living together while Phoebe was staying with Monica and Chandler.


	44. Chapter 44

**April 2000-May 2000**

Chandler thought he was being so sneaky, hiding his drinking and drugs but Ross could see him from across the way. It angered him that Chandler was back on the drugs, especially now that he was living with Monica. He could see Monica looking tired. He had seen Phoebe stare at Chandler with disgust. Everything about Chandler was screaming that he was back on the drugs.

"Ross?"

Ross turned from staring out his apartment to see Jill Green standing there with a smile. Jill was Rachel's little sister. She was visiting Rachel and she had asked Ross out. That seemed strange to Ross. After all, Jill was twenty seven and was very much the way Rachel was. Snobby, spoiled and living off dad's credit cards. He had gone on a couple dates with her and she definitely seemed into him.

"Jill….hey-"

"So, what's out your window?" Jill asked.

"Nothing."

"Is Rachel watching?" Jill asked.

"No."

"So...you know, this is our second date," she said, walking towards him, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

"I know."

"You know, my sister is having a big birthday thing next month."

"I know. She's gonna be thirty."

"You wanna be my date. I mean, it would drive her crazy...right?"

"Your date?"

"Yeah. I mean, after she broke your heart….you were on a break," Jill said.

"Jill, do you like me or are you trying to get back at your sister?"

"Does it matter?" Jill asked as she gently ran her fingers over his shoulder. She was shorter than Rachel by about four inches which made her about a foot shorter than him at six foot one. Jill was standing on her toes to reach him, her heels not giving her as much height as she needed. It made the whole thing even more awkward as she leaned in to kiss him. He tried kissing back but all he could see was Rachel. It had started innocently enough but this all felt wrong. He suddenly backed up and stopped her.

"Jill...you know what, I can't...this...I can't-"

"Why not?"

"I like your sister too much."

"Well, she is watching," Jill said, pointing.

Ross turned and looked out the window into Monica and Chandler's. Rachel was standing in front of the window, staring at them. Monica and Chandler were behind her on the couch. He let out a pained sigh.

"You should go, Jill."

"I'll see you next month," Jill said and he soon heard the door slamming shut behind him. He walked over to the phone and picked it up, dialing Monica and Chandler's apartment. He watched as Monica picked it up.

"Can I talk to Rachel?" He asked.

Monica handed the phone to Rachel who took the phone and stepped onto the balcony.

"You're dating my sister?" Rachel asked.

"No, I'm not. I can't do that to you and I'm sorry that I even went out with her. We both know how we're gonna end and I think if I went out with your sister, it wouldn't end the way I want it to. She kinda reminds me of how you used to be."

"Do you like that better?"

"No."

"By the way," Rachel said, looking back towards the apartment and back at him, "he's drinking and taking pills again."

"I know."

"What are we gonna do?" Rachel asked.

"What we keep doing. By the way, how are you related Jill and Amy? You are so different-"

"I wasn't though, Ross. I just felt I needed more."

"You got more."

"I did."

Ross kept talking with Rachel and occasionally looked over her shoulder back into the apartment to see what Chandler and Monica were doing. Now, everything seemed quiet but he knew how this went. The calm before the storm.

A few days later, Ross was sitting with Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and Monica as they were planning for Chandler's birthday party. Chandler was apparently working late, an excuse he did not buy at all.

"He's working late again?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah, apparently," Monica said.

"You think he'd come up with a better lie. Yeah, like he's working late," Ross said.

"Have you mentioned anything to him?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, yeah. But he won't say anything. Hmmm, maybe we should forget the party and send him to rehab for his birthday gift. Like, hey, here happy birthday….we don't want you to die," Monica said.

"Should we do that? Forget golf...he's dying. Should we get him into rehab or something? I don't want him to die and I'm not ready to give up on him yet. I want..." Rachel tried.

"He's not gonna go, we can try...but he's not going to go," Ross said.

"What do we do? This...this seems almost worst than last time," Rachel said.

"We stay with him," Ross said when Chandler walked in. He was looking bloated.

"Hey, guys….sorry...I was working late," Chandler said.

"Sure you were," Joey said.

"I hope you're getting overtime," Phoebe said.

"I know….and you know, for someone who hates their job as much as you Chandler, it's amazing how much overtime you've put in," Rachel said.

"Yeah….I'm gonna go change," Chandler said as he walked towards their bedroom.

"Chandler, can-can we talk to you?" Rachel asked.

"About what?" Chandler asked.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"Are you really working late? Come on, buddy," Joey said.

"I am fine, guys...just tired," Chandler said as he walked into the bedroom. Monica stood up and followed him in, closing the door behind her.

"I wish we could fix him," Rachel said.

"Me too," Ross said as he reached over and squeezed her hand. It did seem so much worse this time. He wasn't sure what it was but it felt worse. Chandler was being more secretive.

The day of the party, all six of them headed to the golf course and there was some argument over who would be with whom. They decided on two teams.

"I'm on Chandler's team!" Joey yelled.

"I'm on Chandler's team too," Monica said.

"But I'm his favorite," Joey said.

"We've discussed this, Joey...no, you're not," Monica said.

"Chandler, tell her," Joey said.

"Sorry, Joe...it's Monica," Chandler said. Monica gave Joey a smug grin before turning around and walking towards the first the hole of the course. Chandler then turned back to Joey and mouthed, "just kidding. It's you."

"Wow, you two really are strange," Rachel said.

"Hey, losers...what are you doing?" Monica yelled, waiting for them.

"Wait, wait...Monica, I love you...but I don't want to be on your team," Chandler said.

"Why not?" Monica asked, a little insulted.

"Maybe Ross and Monica should be on one team," Joey offered.

"No, I'm not gonna be on Monica's team," Ross said. There was no chance that would happen.

"No, no...you get Monica and we get Ross...it's the only way to be fair," Rachel said.

"And because you wanna continue sleeping with me," Monica grinned, looking at Chandler, "you're on my team."

"Damn you, London," Chandler muttered which caused the rest of the group to laugh as Monica playfully smacked him. "Okay, okay...but here's the deal...you've cut off my toe, you scarred me from Pictionary...I will be on your team if you promise not to injure me."

"I can't make that promise," Monica said.

"Monica...love isn't supposed to hurt," Chandler grinned.

"Shut up," Monica laughed.

"Come on, let's play. I've never played," Phoebe said.

The group split up with Joey, Chandler and Monica on one team, Ross, Phoebe and Rachel on the other. He kinda enjoyed being with Phoebe and Rachel even if Phoebe was not following the rules and kept making things up.

"So I get fifty seven hundred points," Phoebe grinned.

"You can't get that many points."

"Why not, Ross?"

"Because….you didn't even get it in the hole."

"So?" Phoebe asked.

"I got mine in the hole," Ross said.

"That's not what Rachel's told me," Phoebe grinned.

"Phoebe," Rachel admonished while laughing. Ross gave her a look.

"I always get it in the hole," Ross shot back.

"Both of you need to stop….now, Ross it's your turn. Go play with your ball," Rachel grinned and high fived Phoebe as they laughed. It was so much fun and a bonus was that he was actually getting Phoebe to laugh. Joey and Chandler often were responsible for getting Phoebe to crack up so for him to get that role was awesome. The evening though was marred by Chandler. He kept drinking from a water bottle that Ross was pretty convinced was not water.

After playing golf, the group went to a pizza place to continue the birthday celebrations. As they ordered pizza and beers, Rachel kept looking over at Ross and then over at Chandler.

"Chandler?" Rachel asked quietly as they were all eating.

"Yeah?" Chandler asked.

"That bottle of water you had when we were playing golf...that wasn't water, was it?" Rachel asked.

"I don't want to talk about this, it's my birthday," Chandler grinned.

"Dude, what is going on? Let us in...we can help you. We wanna help you. If you're going through the drugs again, then we will be there again. Seriously, let us in. Do you need rehab? What do you need?" Ross asked, maybe this could be an intervention?

"I need you to stop. I'm fine...I am grateful for all of you, but I am fine. It is all good," Chandler said as they all exchanged looks. A tension floated over the group as it seemed like he was far from fine.

He shouldn't have been interested in Elizabeth. Elizabeth was twenty years old. She was a student of his. He wasn't sure what was drawing him towards her but he could not stop thinking about her.

"She's a fling," Carol suggested to him as he stood with her in the middle of the Natural History Museum for Ben's fifth birthday. He was so happy to be there. It had been tense between Carol and Ross ever since Emily and him had divorced. He had been kept from so much, even missing dropping off Ben on his first day of kindergarten. When Carol reached out to him to come hang out for Ben's fifth birthday, he jumped at the chance.

"Maybe that's what I need? Maybe-"

"But if you get caught-"

"We're careful," Ross said. "it's been rough and you know, I wanna see Ben more, please. I miss him. I'm still upset about not taking him to kindergarten. It's my kid and…"

"It's just your life is so unstable," Carol said.

"It's better now. Please let him visit me more," Ross said.

"Okay but Elizabeth cannot be there. He cannot meet your girlfriends unless you get married to them but even then-"

"Carol, come on."

"When are you and Rachel gonna get it together?" Carol asked.

"I don't know. You know she came with me to Tiffany's and I got her an engagement ring. I'm keeping it until we're ready. So-"

"You'll never marry Elizabeth?"

"Probably not. I don't know why Rachel and I can't make it work. I don't know why it's so dramatic."

"I'm sorry Susan and I didn't invite you to take him to kindergarten and I'm sorry we haven't-"

"I wanna take him trick or treating this year and I wanna come with you to take him to his first day of first grade."

"Okay."

Ross looked over at Ben who was sitting with a couple other little boys. They were using the straws from their juice boxes as swords and pretending to fight each other. Watching his son, he was overwhelmed with emotion. He had no clue who Ben's friends were. He thought of Lauren as well. He had not spoken to Lauren since she and Lizzie moved to Tulsa.

"Have you talked to Lizzie?" Ross asked. "Since she and Lauren moved?"

"No, I haven't. Sorry."

His eyes filled with tears which he had not intended. He wondered if Lauren or Lizzie had ever tried to get in touch with him but even if they had, they had his old address. They had his pre-Emily address. He had never given them his new information. He had broken a promise to Lauren and looking at Ben, his heart broke as well.

"Are you okay?" Carol asked.

"I want to see him. Summer is coming up and I wanna see him more. Can he spend a week or a month at my place. You and Susan can go on vacation, but...I-"

"I can talk to Susan about that. Just he cannot meet your girlfriend of the week. He can hang out with Rachel, but no other girlfriends."

"Why only Rachel?"

"'Cause I know she's the one you're gonna end up with," Carol said, patting him on the back as she walked off to go help the kids. He needed to do better. He was missing way too much of his son's life. This was more important to him than whatever was going on with Chandler or Elizabeth or anyone. He needed to get to know his son again.

With Carol and Susan's permission, Ben came over the next night to spend the weekend. They would make pizza, watch movies and hang out. It was going to be his birthday celebration continued.

"Daddy, why don't we play more?" Ben asked as they sat together, watching Batman and sitting side by side on the couch. It had been such a fun evening and Ben asking that question made him stumble for an answer. What could he possibly say?

"I-well, we're gonna hang out now. Okay, we will have to play more."

"Okay….I wanna play Batman. Can we make a Batman car?" Ben asked.

"We can try. I think Uncle Joey might be able to help with that," Ross said.

"Really?" Ben asked.

"I'll ask," Ross said as Ben turned back to continue watching Batman. Ross looked over towards Monica and Chandler's apartment and noticed Chandler sitting alone. Ross watched him open something, pop it in his mouth and down a beer. Ross started to get angry. He wanted to stay with his son, he wanted to bond with his child and there Chandler was, on drugs again. He reached over to the phone, grabbed it and walked into his kitchen. He dialed quickly and waited for the answer.

"Hey, Joe. What are you up to?"

"I'm on my way out."

"Can you take Chandler?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm hanging out with Ben and keep looking over and seeing Chandler taking something and drinking and I-I wanna focus on my son."

"I'm headed out with Kristi and some other buddies. Not sure Mon wants her live-in boyfriend hanging out with a stripper."

"Take him with you. It's pissing me off and I can't focus. I'll talk to Monica."

"Alright, I'll take him."

"Also, do you know where to get parts to make a Batmobile?" Ross asked.

"You thinking of buying a set of wheels?" Joey asked.

"For Ben."

"Oh...I'll ask around. Although, you do know how to build one?"

"Of course not. You're gonna do that."

Joey laughed and agreed to helping with the Batmobile. The two hung up and Ross walked back into living room where Ben was still watching the movie. He looked over at Monica and Chandler's apartment and noticed Joey walking in. He wished he could hear Joey and Chandler talk but soon Chandler was up and stumbling towards the door. Joey looked out the window at Ross and gave him a thumbs up before following Chandler out the door. Ross returned to his spot next to Ben. It was time to focus on his child. He needed to recapture that. He refused to be an absentee dad and he was starting to think he had been one.

Rachel was the last one of the group to turn thirty. Her family had decided to throw her a birthday party at a fancy hotel. It was a strange party because it really seemed like an old-Rachel type of party and not a party that fit with who Rachel was currently. He watched her as she walked around the room and chatted but noticed how uncomfortable she seemed. At one point, she had even recruited Monica to help her talk to some of her old friends which Ross found slightly amusing. Monica looked annoyed, as did Rachel.

"Those girls seem so ridiculous," Phoebe said.

"They were," Ross said.

"Two Face, right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, how she acted with Nancy and Mindy….was pretty awful. Not sure why any of them are here," Ross said.

Monica and Rachel soon rejoined the rest of them at the table. Ross looked all of them and lifted his glass. The rest followed him.

"So, to Rachel...the final one to turn thirty," Ross said as he lifted his glass. The rest followed suit.

"I know, we're all in our thirties now guys. How did this happen?" Rachel asked as they all clicked their glasses and drank.

"Easy. We were all born in the sixties," Chandler joked.

"I have made a major life decision, though," Joey said, "I am now and will forever be...twenty one years old."

"Until eight months from now when you're thirty three?" Chandler asked.

"Your thirties are making you mean," Joey said.

"Whatever you say, old man," Chandler teased.

"Fuck you, asshole," Joey shot back.

The group laughed as they drank. Ross listened as he overheard Rachel pointing out her aunt to Phoebe and jokingly asking if she could make an introduction. Phoebe turned it down which did disappoint him slightly. Although, it was unlikely that Rachel's aunt would do anything.

"Hey, Chan...you alright?" Joey asked.

"Rach, who's that?" Chandler asked.

Ross looked over at Chandler and took him in. His face had turned white and it freaked Ross out. His heart began beating wildly as Chandler pointed to an older gentleman across the room.

"Oh, that's my Uncle Rick. He's the best. He's so funny. Chandler, actually, you'd like him. He loves all those old movies and old time comics and stuff. I should introduce you two," Rachel said.

"No," Chandler said.

"Chandler, are you okay? You're shaking?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm fine," Chandler said.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"Are you sure that's him?" Monica asked.

"Yep," Chandler said.

"What...tell me? What's going on" Rachel asked.

"Baby, tell 'em," Monica said.

"Not now," Chandler said.

"Tell them," Monica said, grabbing his hand. Chandler looked at Monica and then back at Rachel.

"Alright, okay...remember I told you how my mom had a boyfriend who um...when I was like ten, did stuff to me," Chandler said.

"Yeah," Rachel said.

"That's him," Chandler said.

"Uncle Rick? No, no...he's harmless. He wouldn't hurt anyone. He used to take us out on his boat and stuff and..." Rachel began and suddenly stopped.

"I'll talk to him," Phoebe said as she started to get up.

"I'll come with you," Joey said, getting up as well.

"Guys, no. Chandler...come with me," Rachel said.

"No. It's fine," Chandler said.

"Chandler, you're thirty one years old now and six feet tall. I think you're safe. Come on...please come with me," Rachel said.

Chandler let out a sigh. Monica gave him a kiss as she leaned into his ear, whispering something. Chandler shook his head as he stood up and walked towards Rachel who was waiting for him. She grabbed his hand and the two began walking towards Rick.

"I want to him to be happy, so bad," Monica said.

"I know. He is. He's got you," Joey said.

"He's drinking too much. He's gained weight...and he's drinking in secret. He's doing something. I don't know. I think he fell off the wagon. I want him to be okay, you know? I love him so much and I hate that he doesn't see how wonderful he is," Monica said.

"He will, Mon. He will," Phoebe said.

Ross felt like throwing up. He knew the story. He was pretty sure he had been the first person Chandler had told or second. Liz probably knew first. He knew Chandler had told him before he had even told his mother. Ross watched as Rachel grabbed Chandler's arm, holding him with what seemed like an almost death like grip. Rachel's face soon seemed contorted and it looked like she was starting to cry as Chandler stepped next to her. He said something to Rick and it was apparent, Chandler now had several inches on Rick. Rachel's father approached them and they were all talking. He wished he could hear as Rachel seemed to be almost sobbing as Chandler looked like he was in a trance. Rick and Rachel's father soon seemed to be arguing and Rachel's dad placed his arm around Rick's shoulder's and seemed to forcefully lead him out of the room. Rachel turned to Chandler who immediately hugged her, tightly. The two slowly walked back to the table. Joey moved back to his seat as Chandler sat back with Monica who quickly embraced him. Ross moved to comfort Rachel as she was crying.

"I'm so sorry, Chandler," Rachel managed to spit out as they sat down.

"Rach, it's fine," Chandler said.

"No. I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry that happened...I-" Rachel tried before dissolving into sobs again.

"Rachel, this isn't your fault. Wait, was it Rick?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Rachel's dad asked him to leave. So did Rach...hey, Rach, I still think you're awesome," Chandler said reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"I just...I don't like thinking that me or any member of my family caused pain to you, Chandler or to you Phoebe...you two have already been through so much and I just want you both to be happy and I don't like that you were in pain because of something I did or my uncle did," Rachel said, now in hysterics. Phoebe grabbed Rachel's hand.

"Hey, I am happy," Phoebe said.

"I burned down your apartment," Rachel said.

"But your hair looks fabulous," Phoebe grinned which made Rachel laugh as she wiped away the tears from her face.

"I am sorry. Both of you," Rachel said.

"Rachel, listen to me. You are amazing and I am not mad at you and I do not hate you and I am very happy to be celebrating with you. You're thirty...and hot," Phoebe grinned.

"I know," Rachel said.

"And Rach...same here. You didn't cause me any pain. Really, if anything...I liked that you were a pain in my ass when we met at camp. It was normal," Chandler said.

"You did put peanut butter in my bed...and on my car," Rachel said.

"I wouldn't do it now though," Chandler said.

"Good. Thank you. Thank you, guys. I love you guys so much. Thank you letting me into your group. You're the only people I wanna spend this day with," Rachel said as Phoebe leaned in to hug her. Chandler let out a sigh as Monica held his hand.

Ross wasn't sure what he was supposed to say which wasn't quite true. There was a lot he wanted to say but he wasn't sure what the correct thing to say would be. He hated that his friend was in so much pain. He was used to digging, his entire career was about digging, putting things back together that had fallen apart but he had no clue how to put his friend back together.

Rachel soon decided she needed to use the restroom to clean herself up. She got up to leave and Ross turned towards Chandler. He wanted to press a little bit and he was fine with Rachel not being there to hear it. She would be way too emotional.

"Hey, Chandler-" Ross said.

"I'm not talking about it," Chandler said.

"But honey," Monica said.

"No. No, I'm not...Pheebs," Chandler said looking over at Phoebe. A sad smile appeared on her face as she nodded. Of course Phoebe would get it….

"I get it. We don't need to talk about it now, okay," Phoebe said.

"I know you guys care, I know you love me, I know you wanna help and you wanna fix but...I just-I don't-that guy-I-I-" Chandler said, his voice tightening again.

"Ross, Joey said that you guys are going to try and make a Batmobile for Ben," Phoebe said.

"Thank you," Chandler muttered.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to locate some parts. You should help us Bing," Joey said.

"Definitely. I don't know what the hell I'm doing," Ross said,

"Yeah, that would be fun...wait, where are you locating these parts?" Chandler asked, grinning slightly.

"Yeah, should we be concerned?" Monica asked.

"I got a buddy who owns a junkyard and-" Joey said.

"What kind of buddy?" Chandler asked.

"A friend," Joey said.

"Wait, wait...is it a 'junkyard'", Phoebe said doing air quotes around junkyard, "wink, wink."

The group laughed as Joey let out a snort. It was a good distraction, although it did make him sad for his friend. He just wanted to fix him. More than anything, fix him.

Maybe it was reconnecting with Ben or Rachel's birthday party but it put his relationship with Elizabeth in perspective. He could not date a twenty year old. They were at two different points in their lives, they wanted different things. He wanted to remain single and concentrate on fixing the relationships that needed to be fixed, that were worth fixing. Staying with Elizabeth would cause more damage and he was not sure it was worth it so he broke up with her. It was funny, he had expected sadness but really felt nothing. It was the right thing to do. He wanted to concentrate on just being or maybe on Chandler becoming his future brother in law. Despite the craziness, despite his friend falling apart, Chandler had made a decision. After looking at a junkyard for Batmobile parts, Joey, Ross and Chandler headed to a nearby pizza place because Chandler told them he had important news. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring and showed it to them.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Joey asked, grinning.

"Bite me," Chandler said.

"Wait, we've been hanging out all day and you waited-" Ross said.

"I-I know...I-I took Phoebe and she helped. I guess Monica had put our names down at the Morgan Chase museum and I want to get married to your sister. I want-you're not gonna be planning my funeral," Chandler said.

"Dude," Joey said.

"No, look I know you guys are all worried and-and scared. I know….I wanna marry your sister."

"You have my permission," Ross said.

"I'm not asking."

"I know."

"I just don't wanna lose her," Chandler said. "I really wanna try to stop and-I'm not-look, I've spent so long being unhappy. The stuff that happened with Shane or Rick...it's fucked me up...I want happy. I found that with Monica."

"But….okay, I'm gonna be really honest...remember how I'd say that you treated Lizzie like shit. That you basically fucked up that relationship. She did everything for you and she broke several times. You're heading back into that territory and this time, it's with my sister so you already lost your first love of your life because you turned it into this unhealthy, toxic thing where she took care of you….so if you don't want to repeat history, figure it out," Ross said.

"Yeah, man, and whatever you need from us….let us know," Joey said.

"I will. I'm not gonna repeat it. I know I screwed up with Lizzie and I know...it's gonna be better, I swear….I'm gonna get married and I'll do it once and I'll say Monica's name and not Lizzie's at the altar and-"

"You're a lesbian?" Joey asked.

"Very much so," Chandler grinned.

Ross laughed, taking a bite of his pizza. Chandler would be proposing. He was sworn to secrecy so he knew not to mention anything to his sister. There was supposed to be a dinner and Chandler was supposed to propose on their second anniversary but apparently something had gone wrong and Monica and Chandler had run into Richard which led to Chandler not proposing at all.

A few days later, he was sitting on his couch, watching television when Rachel stopped by. There were some developments in her life as well. She was now single having just broken up with Paul, who was Elizabeth's father. The more he thought about this whole situation, the more ridiculous it seemed and it was good that they were both done with it.

"Sorry about Elizabeth," Rachel said as they made themselves comfortable on his couch.

"It's alright. She's too young. Which makes me feel old….speaking of old, sorry about Paul."

"It's okay. It wouldn't have lasted anyway….and it was a little weird, you and me dating them…..kinda like you dating my sister."

"Definitely….but she didn't really like me, did she?"

"No. Not at all….I like you," Rachel smiled.

"Then that's perfect. So enjoying your first days of being thirty?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm glad I went to Kiki's baby shower," Rachel said. She had been invited to the baby shower of one of her college friends and had apparently gone, "I'll never be friends with those girls, but it's nice to let go of the hatred. Still upset about Uncle Rick. How did no one see that? He was my favorite uncle. He's my only uncle, but I loved that guy. He did that….and Chandler is passed out drunk in Joey's room."

"So I'm guessing he didn't take the running into Richard thing well," Ross said.

"No. Does this….all this drug and alcohol use, does it stem from what Rick did? I mean, did my uncle cause this?"

"No, no….no one caused this."

"I just want everything to be okay."

"I know. Me too."

Rachel let out a sigh as she reached towards the remote and turned on the television to some documentary thing about dinosaurs. She was resting comfortably against him as she watched. He let out a snort as he grabbed the remote out of her hand and changed the channel.

"Hey, I was watching that," Rachel said.

"No, you weren't. Hang on," Ross said as he began flipping channels until he landed on the Style Network. They were airing a documentary about Gianni Versacce. She looked up at him as he gently gave her a kiss.

"Awww, thank you."

"Love you, Rach."

"Love you too….always and that's the problem," she said as they shared another kiss and continued to watch the show. He kept his grip around her as she felt comfortable. He had no clue what was going on in the documentary but maybe he would learn some things.

He knew he needed to talk to Monica. He needed to check in. Things were getting worse and worse with Chandler and ever since Richard had interrupted the Chandler's attempt to propose, Rachel had been telling him that Monica had lunch with Richard and he wondered how far it was going,

"Are you going to break up with him?" Ross asked over a lunch. He figured he could be blunt.

"What?"

"Rachel said that you've hung out with Richard and-"

"G-d….I haven't done anything with Richard but...I think I understand Lizzie. I understand exactly why she did what she did. She kept trying to fix him. She kept trying and trying and eventually, she gave up and the thing is Ross….I'm really...he's killing me. I've lost weight that I can't lose and...I can't-I don't know how to fix this. Lizzie didn't know how to fix this. None of us do and...I can't do this anymore. I don't know if I'm gonna go date Richard but I-I wish-can I call Lizzie? Maybe I can ask her for advice?"

"I don't have her number. I lost it. In all the craziness of dealing with Emily….somehow I lost all her contact info."

"You abandoned Lauren?"

"Probably. I'm the worst."

"Sorry. No, I am. Ross, I really just….I don't want to break up with him but he's killing himself and he forcing us to watch him," Monica said, tears filling her eyes. "I can't do this anymore."

"Okay, okay," Ross said, making a decision to not tell her about Chandler almost proposing. It didn't matter anymore.

"If I break up with him-"

"Then we'll take care of it."

"I don't want to hurt him but I just...why does he make it so hard? Why does he make….I have done so much, I have stood by him and I have tried so hard to show him that I love him and we've all….why is he making it so hard to love him and don't even know if I like him anymore because what he's doing to the rest of us, what's he doing to me is not fair and it's not nice and I don't deserve it. Lizzie didn't deserve it. He's going to die and he doesn't care. He is so self absorbed," Monica said, practically in hysterics now. This freaked him out. It freaked him out when Monica was this upset. Ross moved his chair around the table and sat next to Monica, comforting her.

"Break up with him," he said quietly.

"What?"

"Break up with him," Ross said.

"Really?"

"Look, yeah, he's my best friend but you're my sister. You're always gonna come first to me and if he's hurting you this much….break up with him."

"Then if he dies because-"

"Don't. It's not your responsibility. If he is not ready then…."

"I'll think about it."

Monica nodded as he continued to comfort his sister. He did not want them to break up. He didn't want to deal with heartbreak but Chandler was spiraling and he was bringing everyone else down with him.

Of course things don't always work out as planned and things change quickly. He was sitting in his office when he had gotten the call, the official call that Monica and Chandler were engaged. He wasn't sure what happened but that there was no break up, but instead a marriage proposal. When he got back to Monica and Chandler's, everyone was there drinking champagne except for Chandler. He was drinking Red Bull. Apparently having made a promise that he would now stop drinking.


	45. Chapter 45

**May 2000-December 2000**

Monica and Chandler were officially getting married. He was happy, he was or wanted to be but there was part of him that felt jealous. He had gone through marriages three times and none had succeeded and Monica and Chandler were probably going to succeed as a couple. He didn't want to feel jealous, but he did. He also wondered how Rachel was handling the news and found her sitting in her room, staring at her old wedding dress.

"Hey, you alright?" Ross asked, staring at her from the doorway. She smiled at him.

"Yeah, yeah….what are you doing here?"

"I figured you might need some company," Ross said, walking in and closing the door behind him and sat on her bed.

"I'm Mon's Maid of Honor and Chandler's going to be your brother in law."

"Yep."

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I'm happy for them."

"You know, they will probably remain married. Monica's not a lesbian and she probably won't leave Chandler at the altar," Rachel said.

"True….and Chandler will say the right name and neither one will be wasted," Ross said.

"And yet...I feel...I mean, they're getting married and you've been married three times. I ran out on a wedding and thanks to you have been divorced once and I'm happy….I am, it's just….I wish that….I'm being stupid."

"No, you're not….I get it."

"Do you think you'll ever get married again, Ross?"

"Yes. To you," Ross said, giving her a smile.

"Come on."

"No. Look, I know you and I have done some crazy things but I know in the end, we'll probably end up together."

"How do you know?" Rachel asked.

"I just do."

"Hmmm, well...what do you think our wedding will be like?"

"Better than Monica and Chandler's."

"Of course, we've had more practice," Rachel said as she kept staring at her old wedding dress, "you know, I should get rid of this. I mean, when I got it….when I tried it on that first time, I loved it. It was the perfect dress….just not the perfect wedding."

"Our wedding will be perfect," Ross said as he gently squeezed her hand.

"Then why don't we get back together? If it's going to happen, if you think it will...then maybe...should we give us another try?" Rachel asked, looking at Ross.

"We are good together," Ross said. They were good and maybe they could make it work...or not.

"We are but….sometimes we're not and when we're not-"

"It's bad," Ross said.

The two looked at each other, the tension between them apparent as it always was. There was so much to be said, so much that could be discussed. There was always that option, after all they were always each other's option.

"I just….I want to know what we should do?" Rachel asked.

"Take a break."

"I'm gonna kill you."

"Hey, you know I get to walk you down the aisle at Monica and Chandler's wedding."

"Yeah," Rachel said.

"We could try going on a date. Try again but….and don't take this the wrong way, Rach, but I think you just might want to start us again because Monica and Chandler are getting married."

"That's not true."

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Get out of my room."

"I'm just saying."

Rachel glared at him when he suddenly leaned in and kissed her, hard. She closed her eyes and gave into the kiss. G-d, he always loved kissing her. It always felt incredibly right to kiss her.

Their date finally came in October and it was to celebrate Rachel's job promotion. She was promoted to merchandising manager at Ralph Lauren. She got her own office and was in charge of keeping Ralph Lauren items in stores. It was pretty cool and she got her own assistant. She ended up hiring a sexy assistant named Tag which Ross found hilarious and could not help poking fun of her over margaritas and Mexican food.

"I thought you wanted to date me….or get married?" Ross asked.

"I'm not going to date him. He's my assistant. I get an assistant."

"Pretty cool. Even though you did hire yourself a boytoy."

"You dated a twenty year old," Rachel argued, "and I'm not dating him. I'm just going to watch him and mentor him."

"And help him become a man?"

"Bite me."

"Maybe later."

"You know, I did go to Chandler's office to get advice on interviewing," Rachel said.

"And?"

"Well, he's off the wagon. He was drinking in his office."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Even his assistant, Allie, was asking if something was wrong with him and then we went into his office and he has stuff...little bottles of booze and pills," Rachel said.

Ross let out a sigh. Ever since Monica and Chandler had gotten engaged, he had a feeling Chandler was getting better at hiding his drug and alcohol use. He had a feeling Chandler was lying to all of them and there was an even bigger part of him that no longer cared.

"I don't want to talk about this."

"You don't?" Rachel asked, confused.

"No. I'm tired. Look, I've been friends with the guy for thirteen years and maybe I'm being really selfish but I don't….I want a break."

"I understand."

"You know, I'm proud of you Rach."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're a fashion executive. It's what you wanted."

"It is."

"And you have a boytoy."

"He is not my boytoy," Rachel said.

"Sure," Ross said.

Rachel smiled as they continued eating. This was nice, he liked hanging out with her. It was fun, it reminded him of the connection they always had with each other.

"I like this. You and me, on a date," Rachel said.

"Me too."

"So….let me ask you, you took care of Chandler for four years in college. You never went wild and crazy in college? You had no crazy college stories?"

"I dated and then married a lesbian," Ross said.

"No I'm serious Ross….the way you make it sound, all you did in college was babysit Chandler."

"I did that a lot."

"The entire time. You just watched as he drank a lot. You never drank with him? You never went off on your own?"

Ross looked at her and gave her a smile. Well, she had revealed certain things, maybe he could as well, "I….we….I did go with him sometimes and partied. I went out. I drank, I busted a move or two."

"Really? What's the craziest thing you've ever done...college, post college...I want stories."

"You know stories."

"Not all."

"Alright…when I was dating Carol...although, maybe this should have been a sign, Carol and I and another girl who was at our school-"

"Was it Lizzie?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler's ex, Lizzie….no," Ross said, "but me and Carol and this girl did have a threesome."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Ooooo. I hated that girl Lizzie by the way."

"You did?" Ross asked, wondering why she hadn't mentioned this before.

"She just seemed bitchy."

"She put up with a lot. Honestly, if she had not been around, I would have killed him."

"Hmmm...well, if he keeps this up, we may all kill him or Chandler may kill himself."

"Quite possibly….so tell me more about this boytoy."

"He is not my boytoy."

"He is so your boytoy. Seriously, what happened to you wanting to find a husband and settle down?" Ross asked.

"I am. Tag and I have a connection."

"Really? You got that from the first interview?"

"Yes. It's a connection...of-of-"

"He's the American version of Paolo," Ross said.

"You take that back."

"I won't."

"I'm not dating him and you know what were you doing at 24 that was so great?"

"I was married, working on my PhD and working at a museum."

"Ehhh, bite me," Rachel remarked which made Ross laugh. It was moments like that, that made him miss her, miss being with her.

"You know, you aren't going to end up marrying him."

"I know that and how do you know?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause you're gonna end up marrying me."

"Well, that's dumb and arrogant….and we were already married."

"Yep but next time, I'll keep you in the loop."

"I don't want to marry you," Rachel said.

"Yes, you do."

"Not even a little bit. You're arrogant and you're jealous of Tag."

"No, I'm not. Although I do wish my boss was a hot thirty something who enjoyed staring at my ass."

"Get an ass like Tag's and I'll stare at it," Rachel shot back.

"I'll try….you know, Lizzie didn't like you either. She said you were mean to her at camp. Although she did say that she came in to Central Perk a few times when you worked there and you were nice."

"She did?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't she say anything?"

"I think...she really wanted nothing to do with Chandler. So she probably got her coffee and left and didn't wanna make conversation."

"He really hurt her?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. She was a mess when they broke up. He's repeating history. He's turning his relationship with my sister into a toxic relationship," Ross said.

"I want him to get it together," Rachel said.

"Me too."

"'Cause you know...I mean, camp was short but I do remember Chandler and Lizzie together. She liked him a lot and he liked her and they were really close. It sucks that he ended up being hurtful," Rachel said.

"I agree."

"So...tell me more about college," Rachel said.

"You tell me some stuff. You know, I think I saw you once in Amsterdam."

"What?"

"When I went to Israel, there was a layover in Amsterdam. I was in the Red Light District, waiting outside a brothel because Chandler was hooking up with a prostitute-"

"Wait, wasn't he still dating Liz-"

"Yes, he was."

"Crap."

"Anyway, I saw a girl wearing a wig being carried….and she looked a lot like you and the guy who was carrying her looked a lot like Barry," Ross said.

"Oh, G-d….yeah, it was probably me. That was a pretty fun night. Why didn't you say something?"

"Would you have talked to me?"

"Probably not."

Both Ross and Rachel laughed as Rachel began telling Ross all about Amsterdam and he listened in amazement. Their relationship was stable now, nice and they were moving on or moving forward. It was all good where they presently were and as the evening continued, Ross wanted to keep it how it was. He wasn't sure he wanted to move to that next level, they were good with friendship.

While his relationship with Rachel was back on track, so was his relationship with Ben. He was absolutely thrilled when he got to go trick or treating with Ben. He dressed up as Robin while Ben dressed up as Batman, taking his son from house to house asking for candy was everything he could hope for. He had forgotten how much he had missed it.

"Dad, look how cool, I got four Reese's," Ben said.

"Very cool," Ross said. "Can I have one?"

"Yeah," Ben said, handing him one. He unwrapped a piece of candy and popped it into his mouth.

"Thank you, I used to know a girl who would never share her Reese's."

"Mommy and Susan say that you have to share."

"It's always nice to share."

"Peter in my class, he says it's weird that I have two mommies. Is it weird?"

"Not at all. Peter is wrong. It's not weird at all. You know Aunt Phoebe?"

"Yeah, she's funny."

"Yeah, she is. She said...and she actually helped name you?"

"Really?"

"Yeah and she said that you are actually the luckiest kid in the whole wide world because you have three whole parents that love you so much and not everyone gets three whole parents."

"Does Aunt Phoebe have three whole parents?"

"No, no...she doesn't."

"Why not?"

"'Cause her parents take a lot of adventures," Ross said, thinking that would be the easiest explanation.

"They're pirates?"

"Yep, that's it."

"Cool," Ben said as they continued to house to house. After trick or treating, Ben even got to spend the night and Ross made him breakfast and took him to school the next day. He met his teacher and Ben wanted to show him some of his work. He felt whole again. He was teaching and being a dad, not really thinking too much about dating.

Getting his son for the holidays was even better. He decided to teach Ben about Hanukkah by dressing up like an armadillo. Joey had dressed up like Superman, Chandler had dressed up like Santa. He wanted to teach Ben about everything and to make things even better, he had a present to present to Ben. After much work and researching and help from Joey, Ross had finished the Batmobile Go Kart for Ben. Watching Ben ride around the apartment in his new little car made him quite happy.

"This is so cool," Ben said as he did another lap around the living room.

"Santa and the Armadillo and Superman worked very hard," Ross said, sitting on the couch.

"Dad…." Ben said, stopping in front of the window.

"What?"

"Was Aunt Monica not good this year?" Ben asked.

"Huh? What?" Ross asked getting up to walk towards the window.

"Why is Santa spanking Aunt Monica?" Ben asked.

He looked straight into Monica and Chandler's apartment and noticed Chandler, still dressed as Santa, with Monica on his lap. He was spanking Monica. Ross cringed and let out a disgusted grunt and immediately closed his blinds. Ben looked up at Ross, confused.

"Let's get away from the window...Aunt Monica and Santa are clearly busy."

"Okay," Ben said as he continued to ride his car around the apartment.

The next morning, Carol and Susan arrived as Ben was eating pancakes. Ben immediately jumped up and ran to get into his little Batmobile and began riding it around the apartment.

"That's pretty cool, actually," Susan said.

"I know, right. Maybe we can leave it here and so when he comes over?" Ross asked.

"We can do that," Carol said.

"I also taught him all about Hanukkah and-"

"And I saw Santa spanking Aunt Monica," Ben said, grinning from ear to ear. Carol and Susan stared at Ross who pointed back at the window.

"I'm buying them curtains for the holidays," Ross said, "we're not gonna tell people that happened."

"Okay," Ben said.

"Thank you for letting me spend the holidays with him," Ross said.

"Of course," Carol said hugging him. Ben was also excited and when they left, his apartment felt a little empty. He loved being able to be a dad and later on that day, he kept true to his word and bought Monica and Chandler some curtains.

"Curtains?" Monica asked as he walked into their apartment.

"Yes because clearly you two don't know how to use a bedroom," Ross said.

"What?"

"Think about last night, Ben in my apartment and you and Santa-"

"Oh my G-d," Monica said, putting her hand over her mouth.

"Happy Holidays. Your present to me was me resisting the urge to projectile vomit all over my son," Ross said.

"I'll help you. I'm sorry."

"I wanted to take out my own eyeballs," Ross said.

"Are you kidding me? You and Rachel? Oh my G-d...you two are disgusting. It was like you two were animals. I want to throw out my furniture," Monica groaned.

"Hardly," Ross said.

"This conversation is grossing me out. Let's move on. These are nice curtains," Monica said.

"Thought so. So...things are good? Wedding planning is going well?" Ross asked, purposely not bringing up what Rachel had told him about Chandler drinking in his office.

"Well...I don't know. He's disappearing a lot and...I wanna believe that he's keeping his word but-"

"You don't think he is?"

"No. I don't think he has anything here but I think he has something or he's somewhere...I mean, last night was fantastic-"

"Ewww."

"No, just...I didn't mean that. I meant, he was the guy I fell I love with. That man is still there and...I don't know."

Ross nodded as he and Monica worked together to hang the curtains and Monica swore him to secrecy. He would not mention anything. He did though keep a closer on Chandler. Was he lying? Was he getting drunk or high somewhere else?


	46. Chapter 46

**February 2001**

As soon as the group rang in 2001, Chandler began disappearing more and more and that February, Phoebe's thirty third birthday, he had vanished completely. They had planned a dinner for Phoebe. Rachel was going to be late because she was going to Tag's twenty fifth birthday first but no one knew where Chandler was. All calls to him went unanswered and soon Joey and Ross were driving around the city in Monica's Porsche which had been a gift from Jack Geller.

"Can you drive faster?" Joey asked.

"I'm obeying the speed limits."

"You know what?" Joey said as looked out the window, "I think I'm at my limit. I mean, he had to have been hiding the drugs and he's lying to us and...I've had enough."

"Rachel said that Chandler is drinking in his office."

"Great, fuck. I don't give a shit."

"Joe."

"No, no, this is bullshit. His life is not that bad. Okay, what makes his shit worse than everyone else's? Quit the whining and grow a pair. I've seen some bad shit. I watched people get their brains blown out in front of me and you don't see me crying about it. I've worked my ass off and yeah, maybe I'm not where I'd like to be career wise and maybe I'm not the smartest guy in the room but give me a fucking break. He has no idea how I saved his ass? Should've just let-"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Joe."

"Can't tell you. Haven't you had enough? If he's been lying, this is your sister he's lying to…he's already screwed over one of my sisters. Now he's screwed over yours."

"I have had enough," Ross said, "but I can't….I can't just turn my back on him. A lot of people have."

"People have turned their back on me. Look, this is my brother but I can't….I'm done. I'm no longer his friend. I don't give a shit if he overdoses and dies. I buried Shane, I'll bury him."

Ross remained quiet as Joey continued. He knew Joey was angry so he just let him talk. Chandler was nowhere to be found and soon Ross decided to return to the apartment. They walked in and Monica was staring at them, worried with the phone up to her ear. Phoebe was sitting on the couch and they were a little stunned to see Rachel there as well.

"Did you find him?" Rachel asked.

"No. No...we drove everywhere. We went to his office, he's not there...we checked hospitals-" Ross said.

"Maybe we should call the cops?" Joey asked.

"Mon did that already. Because he's a grown male and hasn't been missing for twenty four hours yet...there's nothing we can do," Rachel said.

Ross looked over at his sister as she turned back to the phone, "Well, screw you too," Monica yelled into the phone as she hung up. "He's not at Beth Israel Hospital. Where he is?"

Ross walked towards Monica as she began to cry. He hugged her tightly as she grabbed Ross' shirt.

"I can't….I can't...I...no more, just no more…."

"We'll figure this out," Ross said as Monica took a deep breath and stepped back. Ross noticed Joey now sitting with Rachel and Phoebe and the two girls were gently comforting him.

Monica kept looking at the phone and Ross stood quietly. They had been through this twice and it never got easier. Ross was drained and he wanted to say more but before he could say something, as if on cue, Chandler walked through the door grinning as if nothing was wrong.

"Hey, guys what's up? What's wrong? Who died?" Chandler asked. He was clutching his briefcase. The scene seemed to be playing in slow motion as Joey got up and walked towards Chandler. He very methodically lifted his fist and punched Chandler in the face before walking out the door. Ross was stunned. Joey really had never been violent with any of them. Chandler fell back, dropping the briefcase to the ground as he grabbed his nose.

"What the fuck was that about?" Chandler asked.

"I'll be right back," Phoebe said, getting up and walking out of the apartment. Chandler looked over at Monica who was still staring at him. She lifted up the phone, ready to throw it at him. Ross kept watching everyone. Rachel still remained frozen on the couch, staring at Chandler. Everything just seemed off. He felt like he was watching a movie.

"Monica," Chandler started.

"No, no...no, no more...no, I can't...I can't do this Chandler. I can't," Monica said as tears began streaming down her face. Ross watched as his sister took her engagement ring off her finger and threw it at Chandler. It fell to the floor, making a faint clanging sound.

"Monica, listen to me-"

"Where the hell were you?" Monica asked, shaking.

"I was...I was out," he sputtered.

"Fuck you," Monica said as she began to charge towards him, Ross grabbed Monica's arms. He wasn't going to let her hit him. His sister though was surprisingly strong.

"Monica, wait..." Chandler said.

"No, no...this is over Chandler. I'm done. I'm not marrying an addict. I'm not...I can't do this. I'm not strong enough to do this. Let go, Ross," Monica said.

"You can't hit him," Ross said.

"I won't...let me go. I can't...I have worked so hard. I have done so much, I cannot do anymore. I've lost fifteen pounds. I can't...you're killing me, Chandler. You're actually killing me. I thought...I thought you were dead. I can't...the wedding is off. I can't do this, I can't," Monica cried as she wrestled free from Ross' grip and stormed into her room, slamming it shut behind her. Ross looked at Rachel who was sitting in silence. Ross let out a sigh.

"When are you going to grow up?" Ross asked.

"Ross," Chandler said.

"No...no...what the fuck? Joey and I drove around the entire city looking for you. Monica called hospitals, she called the police. Eight hours dude, eight hours you go missing...without a call. Why do you want to die so badly and why are you forcing us to watch you die?" Ross asked, his voice monotone.

"You know what...I'm done too. I can't...I'm gonna go check on Joey and Phoebe," Rachel said as she stood up.

"Rachel," Chandler said.

"I've had enough. I can't do anymore. I can't...you were wanted here tonight. It's Phoebe's birthday and you were nowhere. I don't care where you were, really. Just that you weren't here. You seem so intent on pushing us all away...for what? I haven't a clue but congratulations, you did. You pushed us away," Rachel said as she walked out, slamming the door shut.

Chandler was frozen as he slowly picked the ring up off the floor and sat at the table. Ross sat next to him, it was taking every ounce of him not strangle his friend.

"How long?" Ross asked.

"How long what?" Chandler asked.

"Have you been off the wagon? How long have you been lying to us?" Ross asked.

"I fell off the wagon February or April of last year."

"Okay, then when you said you would stop drinking when you got engaged. Was that a lie?" Ross asked.

"Yeah."

"So you've been lying to us for nine months?" Ross asked, not letting on what Rachel had told him months earlier. Rachel had been right though, the drugs were in his office and he had been drinking there, hiding it from the rest of them.

"Yeah."

"Why do you hate us so much? What did we do?" Ross asked.

"I don't hate any of you."

"Sure seems like it. We've all worked hard to prove to you that we like you. Rachel kicked her own uncle out of her birthday party because she was so upset about what he did to you. Phoebe thinks the world of you. Joey considers you his brother-"

"I think you two are closer now, right?" Chandler asked. Ross found that to be a dumb comment, pointless.

"No..I'm not...but look, okay, this is...this isn't you screwing around with Lizzie or Janice or Kathy...this is my sister. You're fucking around with my sister this time so here's the thing...get your act together or get the hell out of here."

Ross kept staring at him, trying so hard to gauge Chandler's emotions. He was just so tired and wished for something he could say to make things better but he had run out of things. Monica soon opened the door and peered at them.

"Ross, can Chandler stay with you?" Monica asked.

"Monica," Chandler said, standing up.

"No, it's over. I want you out of my life. The wedding is off. I cannot...you wanna go kill yourself, go for it. You're doing a fantastic job, but I refuse to let you bring me down with you," Monica said.

"No, no...Mon," Chandler said walking towards her. Her face was bright red as she was shaking, "can we...please let's-"

"How long have you been boozing and doing drugs? Do not lie to me. I am not in the mood."

"Over a year," Chandler said.

"So you didn't quit after we got engaged?" Monica asked.

"No."

"Get out. Just go...get the fuck out," Monica said.

"No, please listen to me...Monica...you can't...I want you," Chandler said, his voice choking up.

"Where were you tonight?" Monica asked.

"I-I had...gone out drinking with Gandalf," Chandler said.

"Was your phone working?" Monica asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"So you got all our calls?" Monica asked.

"Yeah."

"Hmmm...screw you," Monica said, as she turned on her heel and walked back in the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Chandler began pounding on the door. Everything was spiraling now, he had never seen Monica this hysterical and Chandler was equally upset.

"Please, Monica...open up. I...I won't..."

"You wanna come over or-" Ross said.

"I'm not leaving Ross," Chandler said, not turning to face him. "I'm not leaving. I'm not letting this end. It can't end. I'm staying until she talks to me. I'm not letting this end. Monica, please...talk to me."

"Chandler-" Ross said.

"Get out of here, Ross," Chandler said. "I'm not...I don't wanna ruin this. I-I-I can't-"

He finally turned to look at Ross who was still staring at him, concern on his face. There was something about Chandler that seemed a little bit different than the other times. He wondered if his friend was afraid.

"Where are the drugs?" Ross asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"They're not here. We all looked. Where are you keeping them."

"My office."

"Okay."

"I screwed everything up."

"You did. Come on, man...you're going to be thirty two years old. Haven't you had enough?" Ross asked.

Chandler walked back to the table and sat down. He looked at Ross and Ross was taken aback by the look in Chandler's eye. Chandler looked terrified.

"Do you want to come over?" Ross asked.

"No. I'm gonna fix this."

"How?"

"I don't know. I just wish...please stick with me. Please, I'm gonna fix this. I can't lose you guys and you've been there for everything Ross and I can't...I mean, I lost Lizzie...I lied to her a lot."

"You did and I'm not leaving."

"Thanks. Why...you know Thanksgiving? When my parents got divorced, my dad never said goodbye. I saw him leave the next day and he didn't say goodbye and then Shane in the locker room and Rick and...and I never...I learned...I can't trust anyone. People either fuck you over or wanna fuck you and I don't...when I met you and-and Monica...and Lizzie and all of you, I don't know how to deal with that-with people wanting me around. I just...I don't know."

"I'm not saying goodbye, because I'm not leaving but you've gotta make this easier, man. I'm sorry that you've been through some of this stuff. It sucks but college was so much fun with you and I am so happy that we're still friends."

"Me too. I like that you care so much."

Ross couldn't leave as Chandler remained seated. They really did not speak and Ross stayed as long as he could but he wasn't in the mood to go home. Soon, he got tired and retreated to Joey and Rachel's apartment. He peered into Rachel's room and she wasn't there so he went to Joey's room where he noticed Phoebe, Joey and Rachel all asleep on Joey's bed. He walked over to their couch and sat down, slowly falling asleep. He had had enough.

He was woken up the next morning with Rachel shaking him. He was a little confused as he sat up and she sat next to him.

"I didn't want to go home….I slept on your couch. You slept in Joey's room?" Ross asked.

"I fell asleep on his bed. How was it after I left?" Rachel asked.

"Bad. How was Tag's birthday?"

"We broke up and he quit."

"That's a bad birthday."

"Yeah….what do we do now?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Ross said.

Rachel rested her head on his shoulder. He gently kissed her head and she reached down for his hand.

"You've been a good friend," Rachel said.

"I can't do this anymore. I give up. I can't….I'm done. I don't have the energy," Ross said. He had promised Chandler he'd stick around but he wasn't really sure he'd be able to keep that promise.

"I understand," Rachel said.

"Hey, you slept here last night?" Joey asked as he walked out of his room and looked at them. He walked towards them and plopped down next to Rachel.

"Yep. How's your hand?" Ross asked.

"It's fine. Never thought I'd punch Chandler in the face. He's my brother and I-I just-how much more-"

"Guys, you need to hold on," Rachel said, quietly.

"Rach," Joey said.

"No, you two are his boys. Phoebe and I will take care of Monica, but he needs you two. The drugs are in office. Clean him out or something. I'm not ready to give up on him and….and I know you guys aren't either. Ross, you've known him for thirteen years. You went to college with him and….and you even admitted to me there were fun times and Joe, I know you look at Chandler like he's a brother. I know you both love him. Think of….could you imagine really not having him in our lives? No Chandler jokes? I'd miss those. He does have a heart. Joey, he paid your rent for six years. No one would do that. You would have been kicked out of any other apartment. You know that."

"Yeah, it's true," Joey said.

"And Ross, you've said that you had friends in college because of him. I know we're all tired, but I'm not ready to give up yet. Let's go next door and talk to them. Ross, they've dealt with our drama. It's time to deal with theirs," Rachel said, standing up and turning towards the two boys. She held out her hands and pulled them both up. The three walked across the hall and opened the door as Phoebe was making coffee.

"Good morning," Phoebe said.

"They still in there?" Rachel asked, motioning towards Monica and Chandler's room.

"Yeah and they got back together," Phoebe said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"How are you doing, Pheebs?" Ross asked as they sat around the table. Phoebe began to pour them coffee and soon they were all gathered around the table.

"Not good. Tired. Very tired."

"Phoebe, you can't give up either. Come on, none of us can," Rachel said.

"Why not? Why can't we? I don't want to watch him die and he seems really intent on having us watch him... and I refuse. I adore him too much to watch this. I mean, you had Brian and Joey, you had your friend Shane-"

"I didn't know Brian was on anything," Rachel said. "But if I had, I wouldn't have….I don't….Chandler's different than Brian, but I don't want to give up yet. Come on. Pheebs, you've said it yourself that no one makes you laugh harder than him and well…I mean, can you imagine a world where he doesn't make you laugh like that?"

"He needs to get better fast. If he doesn't clean up this time….I just-"

"I know, Pheebs."

Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Ross sat quietly around the table and drinking coffee. They kept staring at Monica and Chandler's closed door. Joey got up and walked towards Monica and Chandler's closed door and lifted his fist up before suddenly stopping. He turned back towards the group and walked back to them, this time grinning.

"They're having sex," Joey said.

Rachel and Phoebe looked at him as he took a sip of his coffee. Both girls immediately got up and walked towards the door before turning back and sitting down at the table. Ross felt quite disgusted by the whole thing.

"Make up sex," Phoebe grinned.

"Can we not?" Ross asked.

"What happened last night?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe we should go to your apartment," Ross said, cringing.

"Chandler melted down. I've never seen him cry like that. Mon hadn't either, apparently," Phoebe said.

"Can we please leave?" Ross asked.

"We're not opening the door. Let them make up and don't be such a wutz," Rachel said.

"I'm not….it's just gross," Ross said.

Rachel laughed and shook her head, "Chandler melted down?"

"Yeah...and he was really concerned that Joey no longer wanted to be his friend," Phoebe said, "you'll still be his friend, right Joe?"

"Always."

When Monica and Chandler finally emerged from their bedroom, they seemed almost calm. Chandler seemed worn out.

"Hello, guys," Monica said.

"We were gonna get you two but we thought you were busy," Phoebe said.

"What were you two doing?" Joey asked.

"Please don't ask that while I'm here," Ross said.

"Hey, can I talk to you guys," Chandler said as he walked to the table and sat down, pulling Monica with him. "I'm...I'm going to an outpatient rehab thing. I have some issues that I-I don't how to fix and I-I need help 'cause I don't know how to do this on my own and...well okay...I didn't stop drinking or doing drugs after Monica and I got engaged. I fell off the wagon over a year ago and I lied to all of you and...I'm really...I'm sorry. I know I've fucked up. I'm gonna go talk to someone and figure out how to be happy."

Ross kept staring at him. Something about his words seemed real this time. Chandler really was getting help? He believed Chandler, maybe this would be the last time. He wanted to say something when he noticed Chandler starting to smile and he knew his friend well enough to know what was next.

"So...anyone wanna grab a drink and celebrate?" Chandler asked, grinning slightly. Of course Chandler would make a joke, not that he'd expect anything different.

"Really?" Monica asked, smacking him upside the head.

"Too much serious in twenty four hours. I'd rather make you guys laugh," Chandler said.

"You've never done that before, why start now?" Joey asked.

"Funny...hey, can you guys come with me today?" Chandler asked.

"Where?" Ross asked.

"I wanna introduce you to Sophie. I'm not sure how much time she has left and the one thing she wanted was for me to...for me to have people that would want me. That would be my friends...my family and I wanna show her you guys," Chandler said.

"I liked Sophie. I'll go," Rachel said and the others agreed as Monica walked towards the counter to get some breakfast for herself and Chandler.

"Thanks...'cause she's kinda of the reason I fell off the wagon. Not her personally but I let her down and she was like my mom growing up and I...I wanna show her all of you. She'll be happy," Chandler said.

"Wait, before we go...Bing...do we need to go to your office?" Ross asked.

"Oh, yeah...that's where you've been hiding the drugs, right?" Joey asked.

"Alright, we can stop at my office and Joey can punch me in the face again," Chandler said.

"No worries man, it was a one time thing," Joey said.

"Are we cool?" Chandler asked.

"Always," Joey said.

"I don't wanna go to Chandler's office," Monica said as she brought two mugs of coffee to the table, handing one to him. "I don't wanna see what's there...I...it's...it'll just make me upset."

"It's alright, Mon. We got it," Joey said.

"Yeah, we'll clean him out," Ross said.

It was awkward the breakfast. It was strange and there was still tension lingering in the air. They had been through so much in the last twenty four hours that they were all just exhausted.

Walking into Chandler's darkened office, Chandler turned on the light and tossed Joey the keys to a cabinet. He sat in his chair as Joey and Ross opened to the cabinet to see bottles of liquor and pills stacked in there.

"Wow..." Joey said.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"You really did fall off the wagon," Ross said.

"I did...hey, before you guys throw everything out. Thank you...and I'm...just thanks," Chandler said.

"Let's dump this stuff," Joey said giving him a smile as he began throwing stuff out. It almost turned into a game. They threw his stuff away and made sure there was nothing left in his office. When they were finished, they looked at Chandler who had said nothing throughout the purge.

"Thanks, guys," Chandler said.

"Are you really gonna do rehab and go to meetings?" Ross asked.

"Yes. I am. I have to. I can't do this to you guys. I can't do this to Monica. You guys deserve better and I'm gonna be better and I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you guys and I'm sorry for...not showing how much I appreciate both of you. I'm done."

"Good," Ross said.

"Let's go," Chandler said as they walked out of the office and met up with Monica, Rachel and Phoebe at the hospital to see Sophie. Chandler's old housekeeper looked fragile and thin. He didn't know Sophie very well but he knew what he meant to Chandler and to Rachel, but probably more to Chandler.

The withdrawals hit Chandler hard and he spent a lot of time in the bathroom. They had decided to do what they did best, have a movie night. Joey went in to get Chandler and help him out into the living room, Joey was practically holding him up as he shuffled towards Monica.

"So...what do you wanna watch first?" Ross asked.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Pick a movie," Ross said.

"I wanna watch _The Hot Dog Movie_," Phoebe said.

"No, no..._Spaceballs._ _The Hot Dog Movie_ must die," Rachel said.

The girls made way for Chandler as he lay down on the couch. Monica covered him with a blanket.

"So Chandler...why do you want?" Ross asked.

"I don't care...anything you guys want. I'm just glad you're here," Chandler said.

"Hot Dog movie," Phoebe grinned.

Ross grabbed a movie and popped it into the VCR. He noticed as Chandler began shaking a little.

"You feeling okay baby?" Monica asked as she stroked his leg.

He nodded as he closed his eyes, while clutching the pillow, "yeah...I just enjoy you guys a lot." Monica leaned down to kiss him as the movie began.

"I hate this part," Rachel said, curling up next to Ross as he sat by her. He knew she was referring to the withdrawals.

"Me too."

"You think he'll be okay this time?" Rachel asked, whispering.

"Yeah, I do. I really do," He whispered back.

He truly believed that for the first time, everything would be okay. Yes, there would be withdrawals and those as always be rough but he just thought things would be different.


	47. Chapter 47

**February 2001-April 2001**

It never got easier and from across the way, Ross could watch Chandler as he raced to the bathroom. They needed to watch him like a hawk and unlike the previous two times, they couldn't take a lot of time off work and Chandler did not want them to rearrange their schedules. He was adamant that they not take time off work this time to watch him and there was a collective unspoken agreement that none of them really wanted to take time off work. Maybe it was still a bit of anger, maybe it was selfish but they had done it before and it didn't work. So it was decided that they would be with him when it fit their schedules and when no one could be with him, they got a doctor to watch him which they felt maybe they might need anyway. It was still rough though. He truly hated watching Chandler be so sick. His typical day to watch Chandler was Fridays. His schedule was always light on Fridays and with the exception of a couple morning classes, he could work the rest of the day from home. So he worked from Monica and Chandler's while Chandler rested.

"Oh, G-d," Chandler groaned as he moved around on the couch. Ross was typing away on his computer and looked over at Chandler who looked a little sick.

"You okay?"

"I'm dying."

"No, you're not dying. Hey, you want me to read you the paper I'm working on?"

"Not even a little bit," Chandler said. "Hey, do you have Lizzie's number?"

"I-I don't," Ross said, knowing he could now answer that truthfully although it made it feel bad. He really hoped that neither Lizzie nor Lauren hated him but he had a feeling they probably did. "Why?"

"I need to apologize to her. I have her number somewhere. She gave it to me before she moved. I need to apologize to a lot of people."

"No need, just get better."

"No, no….it's important. I have to apologize to people. Maybe I'll start with you. I'm sorry, Ross. I mean, I'm pretty lucky that you didn't kill me in college."

"Apparently, from what Monica has told me and also what Liz told me, I should be thanking you for not killing me in college," Ross said.

"True….G-d, who would have thought, you and me as roommates and that it would've worked out this well."

"Not me. I will admit though, it did help that you had Sally. That was an amazing car," Ross grinned.

"Wasn't it? And hey, I never thanked you for paying for the damage that Two Face did to my car," Chandler said.

"The tires and the booze? I will forever be thankful that you did not witness that."

"I'm thankful too and probably so is Rachel."

"I bet. It was unbelievable. It was Barry, he drove….I know that now...and she and I don't even remember how many others got out and slashed your tires and poured booze all over the car and threw bottles of pills in there."

"Do I owe you money for it?" Chandler asked.

"No, Rachel paid me back."

"Oh….hey, remember when you told me how you and your buddies went to a party in high school and this guy was like the Keymaster in Ghostbusters."

"Yeah. You remember that?"

"I've had a lot of free time in the last few days so I've been thinking about all of us and our connections and stuff….where was the party?"

"Queens. That was a long time ago. The guy was a turd. He was had women all over him and apparently cops would just drive by the house and ignore everything because-"

"'Cause they paid 'em off."

"That was the rumor and he kept telling us that his friend, Shane, would hook us up with something…." Ross stopped, his eyes widening. "Whoa."

"Joey was your keymaster and I can't wait to get back to work."

"Oh my G-d. We've both been to parties at his house without ever realizing it," Ross said.

"I know...but you know, those parties were not fun," Chandler offered. Ross grinned. The opposite was true but for Chandler and Ross, it was just easier to believe they weren't fun at all.

"No, they weren't."

"Please, there were no games and who wants to go to a party where all you do is hook up with random girls and drink. Especially, in high school. That's not fun," Chandler said.

"I know. So lame. When you went, did any girls talk to you?" Ross asked.

"Not a single one. How about you?"

"It was like I was air."

"It's just 'cause the parties were lame. Not us. We weren't lame," Chandler said.

"I know. We were probably way too cool," Ross said, laughing, as was Chandler. It felt nice, reconnecting with his old friend. It had been such a long time since they had messed around with each other. It was a reminder why he enjoyed Chandler so much in the first place, both were quite confident in their ability to be lame and enjoyed it. "I can't believe you were thinking about that. So random."

"I've had a lot of free time on my hands," Chandler said.

"So Joey Tribbiani is the Keymaster. Should've known."

"He should be in the comic book."

"I can't have the Keymaster, I have to change the name."

"Master Key?"

"I'll think about it. By the way, while I am very sorry for your life choice of marrying my sister…..I'm glad you'll officially be my brother in law."

"Me too. Also, I never thanked you for the curtains."

"Yeah, use 'em," Ross said

"I promise. We will," Chandler said, still laughing.

He enjoyed hanging out with Chandler. Sure he wished it was under better circumstances but he had a feeling his friend was going to be fine. He had a feeling everything would be fine.

When he wasn't hanging with Chandler, he was hanging with Rachel. It was a common thing now with the two of them, going on dates to one of Rachel's favorite Mexican restaurants. Chandler was now feeling better but Rachel was seemingly still feeling bad about not being there the first time which he didn't quite get. She didn't need to be, he saw no point in her being upset.

"I should have been there," Rachel complained.

"It's okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah and I think this time he'll be okay."

"How do you know?" Rachel asked.

"He finally got scared," Ross said and he really believed it. After talking with Chandler, watching him, he had a feeling that Chandler would never go back.

"I guess. He's going to go to an AA Meeting."

"He is."

"You're a good friend Ross."

"Thanks and I never got to ask how you were doing...after breaking up with your boytoy."

"Tag really quit. It hurt a little bit. Now, I have to hire someone who is qualified and tomorrow I'm having lunch with Chandler to ask questions because clearly I didn't do a good job."

"No, you did a great job….had you been working in a brothel."

Rachel glared at him as he laughed at her, "Tag was a lovely young man."

"Chandler's gonna have so much fun with you."

"I know but...you know, he didn't make fun of me once while I was with Tag. So he's overdue."

"He is."

Everything really did seem to be getting back on track. As Chandler soon began to feel better, he decided to go to his first AA Meeting and his only request was that the rest of them to be at Central Perk waiting for him, so the rest did as told.

"He really did go to the meeting?" Rachel asked.

"Yep, and he called me twenty five times today to check in," Monica said.

"That's sweet," Rachel said.

"Hmmm, well then I will tell him to call you twenty five times tomorrow," Monica said.

"Oh, G-d no...that's annoying," Rachel said. Ross laughed at that.

"Hey, guys….before he comes here I was thinking...we need to make this easier for him. I don't think we should drink in front of him anymore," Monica said.

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Yes. Guys, he's really trying this time and we should not be drinking in front of him," Monica said.

"Yeah but Mon, that's not normal...I think Chandler would want us to be normal and not change our habits," Phoebe said.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at his sister. He got it completely, he understood she was still in the fix-it mode but completely changing their habits for Chandler? That made no sense.

"It's not like we're gonna be getting drunk in front of him but I don't know..." Ross said.

"I don't think he'll go for that," Joey said.

"I don't want us drinking in front of him. I don't want this to be more difficult," Monica said.

"Yeah, but he didn't even want us changing our work schedules when he went through withdrawal. He's not gonna be okay with this. We have to act normal, not walk on eggshells," Ross said.

"Can you please just do what I say?" Monica asked.

"No," Ross said.

Monica glared at him, "I'm just saying."

"He's got a point, Chan Man will do his crap, we'll do ours. By the way, have you watched Days lately? How do you like my new brain?" Joey asked.

"I like it better than the one you currently have," Ross teased.

"Wait, oh, Joey….but questions, so Dr. Drake wakes up Cassandra after the botched face transplant so now she's a man so are Cassandra and Dr. Drake going to date now? Or...and what happens to Phillip 'cause remember Phillip is locked in the basement 'cause he kissed Cassandra's mother….ohhhh," Rachel moaned.

"You are way too excited about this," Ross said.

"I know, right?" Rachel grinned.

"Phillip didn't kiss Cassandra's mother. That was Cassandra grandmother who got pregnant with Phillip's child," Monica said.

"Naw-aww," Rachel said.

"Yah-huh," Monica said.

"Joey," Rachel said.

"She's right." Joey said.

"Damn," Rachel said.

"Wait, but what about Peter because Peter is Phillip's evil twin but he's the one who killed Cassandra's pet turtle by throwing it off the ledge which by the way…." Phoebe said.

"The turtle didn't actually get hurt," Joey said.

"I have no idea what is happening right now," Ross said.

"Hey, I listen to your dino crap," Joey said.

"Really?" Ross asked, "So, I'm doing research on the Majungatholus Atopus and-"

Suddenly, Rachel, Monica and Joey let out loud groans and Ross just grinned. They would never be interested.

"Wait, wait...isn't that the dinosaur that's the cannibal?" Phoebe asked.

Ross looked over at Phoebe who simply smiled. He was constantly amazed by her. Every single time he thought he knew Phoebe, she pulled out a card that revealed her inner brilliance.

"How do you...how...what?" Ross asked.

"Hey, I might have dropped out of school before ninth grade but I spent a lot of time in the New York Public Library," Phoebe said.

"What do you know?" Ross asked.

"More than you think," Phoebe said.

"Wait, wait...there was a cannibal dinosaur," Joey said. "Like dinosaurs that ate other dinosaurs? I wanna know about that."

"No, no….you wouldn't be interested," Ross grinned, "but go ahead….how's your brain?"

Joey gave him a look as the rest of the group began laughing just as Chandler strolled into Central Perk.

"Hello, children," he said as he walked towards them and kissed Monica before plopping down next to her, "heard any good jokes lately?"

"How was it?" Monica asked as they all looked at him.

"Weird. I'm going back tomorrow night and I have a therapist that I'm going to see-but-I just-sitting there-it was-I've been a very selfish guy and I'm gonna try not to be that anymore. I'm sorry about...everything. I'm lucky and there-there were people there that weren't. That lost everything...people that lost homes and jobs and friends and family. I felt guilty. I mean, I have issues but I have my job, I may not like it but I'm good at it and I still have all of you and Joey's still my friend," Chandler said.

"Always, man," Joey said.

"You know, I could be insulted by that...I'm still with you," Monica argued.

"Yeah, but Mon you knew this going into the relationship with Chandler," Rachel said.

"I know, I know...Jandler first, Mondler second," Monica grinned.

"I'm happy you didn't leave as well," Chandler said, "anyway, I mean, it's what I've always wanted. Friends and I don't know why I can't enjoy it and I'm gonna find that out 'cause...I like you guys."

"We like you too," Rachel said.

"I felt crappy sitting there...like one of those poor, spoiled little rich kids," Chandler said.

"You are one of those poor, spoiled little rich kids," Phoebe grinned.

"Thanks, Pheebs," Chandler said.

"Well, you are...but it doesn't make what you've been through any less painful," Phoebe said.

"Yeah...it was eye opening. It was like Pheebs when you took Mon and I to see where you lived? When you took us to the junkyard...it puts things in perspective," Chandler let out a sigh as he got up, "I'm gonna get coffee. The coffee they serve at AA meetings sucks."

Chandler walked towards the counter to get his coffee as Monica joined him. Rachel, Phoebe and Joey turned towards Ross.

"Now, tell me about the dinosaurs that eat other dinosaurs?" Joey laughed which made Ross laugh. Now they were interested in what he did? He contemplated filling them in but instead decided against it. Maybe he'd just make stuff up, it would be more fun that way.

He hadn't been expecting it at all. He knew Chandler had been talking to his dad but he did not expect Chandler to bring home Helena Handbasket to meet the rest of them. He had gone to an AA Meeting and the rest of them convened in Monica and Chandler's apartment. When Charles/Helena and Chandler got back, Ross was grinning from ear to ear, remembering what Rachel had told him about sleeping with Charles Bing in Las Vegas all those years ago and it was just too much for him.

"It's your ex," Ross whispered.

"Shut up," she shot back as Ross laughed. He noticed Phoebe and Monica giggling too and he wondered if Rachel had told them. He had thought about asking but instead turned his attention back to Rachel.

"I thought you were going to stop pretending you didn't know the Bings," Ross teased.

"I am going to kill you," Rachel said.

"This is the best night ever," Ross said as he walked towards the couch with Rachel following him. Phoebe was reliving her wedding to Duncan that Charles had apparently officiated dressed as Helena Handbasket. As Phoebe was talking, Ross noticed that Charles kept glancing over at Rachel. He wondered if Chandler's dad was trying to place where he knew Rachel from and Ross tried to send him telepathic messages telling him exactly where he knew her from.

"It was a very fun wedding," Phoebe grinned.

"It was but honey, no more fake gay men for you," Helena grinned.

"Didn't Rachel also see you in Vegas once?" Ross asked. Rachel's eyes widened as she glared at him. He was beaming. He could not help himself.

"What?" Chandler asked, sounding confused.

"I-on my twenty first birthday, my friends and I went to Vegas and we saw your show, Helena," Rachel said.

"Oh, yeah…..did you enjoy it?" Helena asked.

"I did."

Helena simply smiled and turned back to Phoebe. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief as she looked at Ross.

"You're the worst person ever," Rachel said.

"What? We're sharing memories," Ross said.

Rachel glared at him. Ross ignored it, he was having way too much fun. He noticed a change in Chandler though as the evening wore on. Ross wondered if Chandler was figuring out Rachel's secret. His assumption was confirmed after Helena/Charles left and Chandler turned on Rachel.

"What happened between you and my father?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," Rachel said.

"Rachel," Chandler said walking towards the couch and sitting down.

"You have to tell him," Monica said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Why do I have to tell him?" Rachel asked.

"Because you can no longer keep this a secret," Monica said.

So Monica knew? Oh, Ross should have told Monica earlier.

"Okay, but you cannot drink. You have been doing so well and if you drink...you can't and-" Rachel said.

"What happened?" Chandler asked.

Rachel let out a sigh as she got up and walked towards him, sitting next to him on the couch.

"I was twenty one and we went to Vegas. A bunch of us and I-I really wanted to see a drag show and I went….it was about sixteen of us and we saw Viva Las Gaygas and um….well, after Helena invited us to an afterparty and half the group, including Barry, went to go see Barry Manilow instead and then I went with the other half to the after party and I didn't know it was your dad. How would I have known? At the time, I still pretended I didn't know you….well, we got really, really wasted and one thing led to another and from the neck down….Helena is still Charles and in the light of day, it dawned on me. He had mentioned having a son the night before but it didn't click until I noticed who he looked like and….I never thought I'd see you or Monica again and…..I...I am so sorry," Rachel said as Chandler just stared at her. Everyone kept staring at Chandler, waiting for him to say something.

"I wanna watch the Hot Dog movie," Chandler said suddenly.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Monica can you make slow death smoothies for Joey, Phoebe, Ross and yourself….and then get some Red Bull for Rachel and I? Rach and I are going to be watching this a lot tonight," Chandler said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"What other movies do you hate?" Chandler asked.

"Die Hard, make her watch Die Hard….and porn," Joey said.

"Joey," Rachel admonished.

"I'll make the drinks," Monica said.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"I'll be right back. Joe, come with me and help me pick….Ross, you too," Chandler said as he got up and walked towards the guest room. Joey and Ross followed him into the guest room where he shut the door and Chandler spun around to face Ross.

"You knew," Chandler said.

"I-well-I-it was a secret," Ross said.

"She slept with my father," Chandler said.

"You know what's funny? Ross kissed your mom and Rachel slept with your dad, it's like you're their child….so gross," Joey laughed.

"She was twenty one though, she probably thought she wasn't gonna see any of us again and it was probably just a mistake. She was with Barry at the time," Ross said.

"Alright, what movies does she hate?" Chandler asked as he reached for the Hot Dog movie.

"Stephen King movies," Joey said.

"Is this your version of justice?" Ross asked.

"Yep," Chandler said as he began rifling through his collections. Soon they had gathered about ten movies that Rachel disliked and decided those would be the movies they would watch. Rachel kept glaring at Ross though throughout the entire movie marathon. He knew she was pissed but he didn't think she needed to be. It was a long time ago as far as he was concerned. It didn't really matter now.

A few days later, Ross was hanging out in Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey was getting ready to go out. He was waiting for Rachel. Everyone else seemed to be gone for the evening.

"So Monica said no to inviting Kristi to the wedding?" Ross asked, smiling slightly as Joey was telling him how he had asked if his stripper best friend could be his date to Monica and Chandler's wedding.

"No. I'm a man of the cloth," Joey said.

"No, you're not. You're just officiating," Ross said.

"And as the person officiating, I should be allowed to invite Kristi, my dancing best friend. Maybe I could hook her up with someone."

"I'm single."

"She is so out of your league."

"She's a stripper."

"Dancer. Just her dancing involves nudity….and a pole...and people giving her money."

"Can we go see Kristi for Chandler's Bachelor Party?"

"Of course. We gotta do something 'cause we can't give him booze."

"Mon would kill us….I would kill us. What about one of Kristi's friends? I really do need a date. I'm watching my little sister marry my commitment-phobe recovering addict best friend and I'm going to be….alone."

"I'd set you up but none of them are looking to get married."

"Anytime you wanna stop with those jokes."

"But I don't. Hey, is it true that I'm the Keymaster?" Joey asked.

"What?"

"Chandler was telling me that he put it together that you were at one of my parties back when you were in high school."

"Yeah, me and a couple buddies went to one of your apparently legendary house parties. You were called the Keymaster because you had girls stuck to you like velcro."

"Oh, those were good times."

"How do you get that?"

"What?"

"How do you get these girls to just...attach themselves."

"Are you asking for dating advice?" Joey asked.

"I'm desperate," Ross said.

"Hmmmm, alright...did I ever tell you how I went backpacking through Western Europe?" Joey asked.

"That didn't happen."

"That's not the point," Joey said, "alright, I do have a date. I'm hanging out with Kristi and her friend, Mindi and I gotta...there's a business thing I gotta take core of."

"Can I come?"

"No. So, here's what I'm going to do," Joey said as he got his video camera and set it up, "practice the story. Once I went backpacking in Western Europe and I saw a woman, bathing in the river and she was crying…"

"Whoa."

"I know. Practice it for the camera and watch it back. You can add details, whatever...just make it romantic."

"Okay."

Joey set up the camera and patted him on the back, before taking his jacket and walking out the door. Ross turned and looked at the camera and poured himself a glass of wine. Maybe he would practice. Maybe he could practice enough that he could ask Kristi or one of Joey's friends on a date. He could be the Keymaster. He'd be a better Keymaster. He pressed play and just as he began, Rachel walked in and he jumped up. She gave him a look as she rolled her eyes and poured herself a glass of wine. She kept glaring at him as they sat across from each other on the couch.

"You're upset with me, aren't you?" Ross asked as they sat across from each other on her couch.

"How do you know?"

"I had a feeling."

"I really did not want Chandler knowing that. I really didn't. It was embarrassing and at the time I was mortified and now that I'm friends with him, I'm even more mortified."

"I'm sorry, Rach."

"See, this is why I don't think we'd be good together. You don't care about my feelings."

"Wait, a minute that is not true," Ross said, that seemed to be a bit of a reach. So he told, it wasn't a big deal.

"Yes it is. I did not want….after everything Chandler and I have been through and….I just really don't want him knowing that. I was wasted and I cheated on Barry and I-we went to Italy after, all of us and Barry didn't even wanna talk about it but everyone knew. I looked like a slut."

"I do care about your feelings."

"Then you wouldn't have told. You never care what I think Ross. You even pretended we were still married even though I said no to our drunken marriage. You act like what you feel and think is so much more important and I don't get that and….okay, even….Chandler has been sober now for two, three months. Think of him. How did you think he was going to react? I slept with his father."

He was getting a little sick of Rachel telling him how he didn't care about her. That was so ridiculously wrong and it pissed him off. How dare she say that? He also wasn't the only one who had been selfish or dismissive of feelings in their relationship. Rachel had done some messed up stuff.

"You flew to London to break up my marriage so don't talk about not caring what other people think. You dropped us all without a second thought and then came back and expected everyone to be your friend again."

"I did not," Rachel said, "and you know what, you've changed. I mean, you have gotten so arrogant."

"Really? Well, you're still pretty self absorbed. You saw pills in his office."

"And I told you about them and you said you didn't care."

"I did not and you know what, you keep talking about fashion and your career…..you almost sabotaged your career by sleeping with your assistant. How much does it mean to you?"

"You got fired because you lost your shit over a sandwich," Rachel argued.

"It was a sabbatical and it was a good sandwich. You know what, I'm going," Ross said, standing up, as did she. They were both angry now but he was not in the mood the fight. He wanted to leave. She could be pissed, he would walk out.

"Fine, walk away and you know I'm right. You are…..you should not have said a word to him. How could you? And then to say anything about my career, you don't give a shit about my career, Ross. That's pretty well established. As long as I'm struggling then you'll love me and want to be with me but if-"

Suddenly, Ross walked over to her and kissed her. That would put an end to the fight. She had no clue what she meant to him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Rachel asked.

"Don't you dare say that I will only care about you if you're struggling or that I don't care about your career or you…..no one is a bigger fan of yours than I am," Ross said, glaring at her. She glared back at him and kissed him back. They fell back onto the couch and continued to kiss, the clothes being torn off and thrown to the ground. He wanted everything about her in that moment as he pinned her back onto the couch. They would forever have a rhythm, it always be the two of them. They were intense, they had issues but they would always be Ross and Rachel.


	48. Chapter 48

**April 2001-May 2001**

Chandler had decided to do stand up for his thirty second birthday. Ross remembered when Chandler had done it back when Phoebe was living with Monica and they had gone together without inviting anyone and Monica had gotten pissed. On advice from Phoebe, he decided to do it again but this time had invited them all.

"So how is making fun of us going to be therapeutic for you?" Ross asked as they all sat around a small circular table in the middle of Improv East Comedy Club.

"I'm not just making fun of you. I'm...making fun of myself. It's just...I wanna hear Phoebe laugh at me," Chandler said.

"I laugh at you all the time," Phoebe said.

"Not just behind my back," Chandler said.

"Oh...yeah, I've done that a lot," Phoebe grinned.

"I know," Chandler said as a waiter walked towards the table to ask about drinks which of course caused an uncomfortable silence to fall over the group. Monica broke the silence.

"Diet Coke is fine," Monica said as the waiter began writing things down.

"Why not scotch on the rocks with a twist?" Chandler asked.

"It's okay," Monica said.

Ross let out a snort as Chandler shot him an annoyed look. Ross knew immediately Monica's plan was failing. They could all order water and soda but he knew his friend would have none of that.

"And for you, sir?" The waiter asked, looking straight at Chandler.

"If you have Red Bull, I'd love that. If not, a Coke is fine and um...I'd like to change all of their drink orders," Chandler said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Give me a break...you don't want sodas," Chandler said.

"We do," Monica said.

"Well...I do actually kind of want a beer...but you told us we couldn't drink in front of him," Joey said.

"Really? I knew it." Chandler said.

"Thanks, Joe," Monica said, glaring at him.

"When we went to the game last week, Joey and Ross each had a beer so your plan is not working," Chandler said.

Ross gave Monica a look, they had gone to a game and had had beer. Chandler had a soda.

"Guys," Monica said. Chandler shook his head as he turned back to the waiter.

"Okay, here's what they're getting...and this can prove that I've been listening," Chandler began as he pointed to Monica then Joey, Phoebe, Ross and finally Rachel, stopping at each one, "she will have scotch on the rocks with a twist, he will have a Sam Adams Utopia, she will have Jack and Coke, he'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio and she will have a Sour Apple Martini."

"Okay...got that, is that alright?" The waiter asked.

"I don't-" Monica said.

"Monica, stop," Chandler said, cutting her off as the waiter walked off to get their drinks.

"Are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes...you are amazing, Mon...all I've wanted is normal. It's normal for you to drink," Chandler said.

"And it is impressive that you know each of our drinks," Rachel mused.

"I thought so," Chandler said.

"It's not going to be too difficult?" Monica asked.

"No, it will be. It was hard to see Joey and Ross drink beers at the game...but I'm gonna have to get used to it."

"I just want you to be okay," Monica said, grabbing his hand.

"I am," he said as he leaned in to give her a kiss. "I got you...and if I make Phoebe laugh tonight, well then it'll be the perfect birthday."

"Oh, you know we do have to start planning your bachelor party...I've been waiting for this since 1988," Joey said.

"We weren't friends yet in 1988," Chandler said.

"Doesn't matter," Joey said.

"So how do you feel about the Pizza Hut?" Ross asked, grinning.

"You know what, I would actually be fine with that. They have games," Chandler said, truthfully. "Why do you hate the Hut?"

"I don't hate the Hut," Ross said.

"Who are we inviting?" Joey said.

"Well, you two and...Tyler and-" Chandler said.

"Gandalf?" Ross asked.

"No...not Gandalf," Chandler said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" Ross asked.

"Gandalf...he invited me for drinks last week. I said no but...he doesn't really get it and he thinks the rest of you are overreacting so...I'd rather not. I'd rather be with you guys...and Tyler. Maybe a couple guys from work but um...no Gandalf."

"You alright about that?" Ross asked. He may have hated Gandalf, but he knew Chandler had been friends with him.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm alright," Chandler said.

"He thought we were overreacting?" Rachel asked.

"I guess...I didn't go with him but he's sort of been avoiding me, not answering calls. He didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday...So...I don't really wanna talk about it. It's karma. Right? I vanished right before Ross' first wedding. Seems only fitting he'd vanish before mine. Besides, the friends that I hoped would stick with me have," Chandler said.

"Oh, honey...if we haven't left you by now," Rachel said patting him on the back which made Chandler laugh a little.

"Happy Birthday, man," Ross said.

"Thanks. I can't believe I'm gonna do this and I'm glad you're here. It's more fun," Chandler said.

"Pheebs, you were with him when he did this the first time? Was he good?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, Pheebs...I was so wasted that time," Chandler said.

"Me too," Chandler said.

Chandler laughed and soon it was his turn to get on stage. Ross watched as Chandler slowly approached the stage. He glanced over at his sister who was beaming.

"He's getting better," Rachel said.

"He really is," Monica said, "Ross, we're gonna have to track down Gandalf."

"What? Why? We hate that guy," Ross said.

"The guy is a turd douche nozzle," Joey said.

"I know, I agree and we all hate him but he's Chandler's friend and Chandler liked the guy and I think it would hurt him if Gandalf didn't show up to the wedding," Monica said.

"I'm not inviting him to the bachelor party," Ross said.

"You don't have to...it's just, I think it would mean a lot to Chandler if Gandalf showed up. I know he has been a horrible friend but if we permanently cut everyone out of our lives who had at one point been horrible friend….well…" Monica said looking over at Rachel.

"Oh my G-d, are you using me to prove your point?" Rachel asked.

"Kinda," Monica said. "Oh, look...they have deep fried twinkies." Monica pointed to the menu. Rachel's mouth dropped and she pretended to look shocked.

"Oh, he's starting," Phoebe said, "this is gonna be amazing. He was so good the last time."

Ross watched as Chandler grabbed the microphone and began his set. He looked so natural up there, so good, so funny and it was easy to laugh but when that sound came, the sound of Phoebe laughing, Chandler stood there beaming.

"You laughed….he's a happy boy," Rachel said.

"Well, he's easy to laugh at...and with," Phoebe said.

"It is the best laugh in the world," Joey said.

"Guys," Monica admonished as she turned to look back at him, so confident. Ross was also proud of him. He missed Lizzie immensely in that moment, he knew she would have wanted to see this. When Chandler was done, he jumped off the stage and ran immediately to Monica who hugged him and gave him a kiss and the rest of the group applauded him on a job well done.

As the wedding got closer, Ross and Joey really wanted to plan Chandler's bachelor party. Bar hopping was out and none of them wanted to go clubbing so instead they were thinking steak dinner and perhaps a strip club. They were definitely thinking of seeing Joey's friend, Kristi.

"Maybe we should have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party," Monica said as they sat together with the rest of the group in the apartment. Ross, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and Chandler all looked over at Monica. Rachel and Phoebe had been planning the bachelorette party.

"Why? You girls don't wanna see naked ladies?" Joey asked.

"I'm going to a strip club?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, yeah baby," Joey said.

"It's only been two months and...I mean-" Monica said.

"Monica, unclench," Chandler said, giving her a grin.

"It's been two months….maybe it's better if we just go together as a group," Monica said.

"I don't wanna hang out with the boys, they're dumb," Rachel said.

"Yeah and we're gonna see male strippers," Phoebe said.

Monica let out an annoyed sigh as Joey and Ross turned back to some of the brochures. He knew his sister was being overly protective about what would happen to Chandler but he would make sure nothing happened. Not on his watch.

First they went to a steak dinner. It was Ross, Joey, Chandler's friend, Tyler and of course, Chandler. Ross' other plan, which shocked Chandler, was that Chandler would not pay for any of it.

"Seriously? I don't have to pay for anything?" Chandler asked.

"No, the three of us will pay. Your wallet will rest this evening," Ross said.

"I like that," Chandler said.

"So, what's your name?" Joey asked the waitress.

"Alli," the waitress said.

"You know, Alli….we're having a party later. It's to celebrate that guy," Joey said pointing at Chandler, "He's getting married. It's making me sad. It reminds me of a girl I met once while backpacking through Western Europe."

"Oh my G-d….is that a line?" Alli asked.

"No, I don't do lines. I wouldn't even know how," Joey said.

Alli giggled a little as she ripped a piece of a paper off her pad and wrote her number down before handing it to him.

"Call me. I'll come over when I'm done with work," Alli said before walking off leaving the other three guys staring at him.

"How the hell do you do that?" Tyler asked.

"I have a gift," Joey said.

"I'm so glad I'm never gonna have to try to get a girl's number again," Chandler said.

"So glad I'm married," Tyler said.

"Rachel really is my only hope," Ross said.

"Hey, Ross...I wanted to ask, that girl you dated? Did she ever say anything about those scones?" Tyler asked.

"He doesn't know," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Remember when I gave you a box of blueberry scones to give to Emily. Rachel and I came up with an idea and Tyler's wife is British and knows how to make scones," Chandler said.

"What?" Ross asked.

"You know how people say Rachel and I would have made a great team at camp. We're both really good at pranking people," Chandler said.

"Oh no...no, what was in them?" Ross asked.

"Bugs," Chandler said, "those weren't blueberries."

"Oh, nasty," Joey said.

"I ate one," Ross said.

"Oops," Chandler said.

"She liked the scones….I don't feel bad now that she ate a bug scone but why didn't you tell me?" Ross asked.

"'Cause you liked her at the time," Chandler said.

"Yeah, what was I thinking?" Ross asked.

"So I really don't have to pay for anything tonight?" Chandler asked.

"Nope, we'll pay," Joey said.

"Best party ever ," Chandler said.

The dinner was fantastic. He loved just how easy everything was. There really was no drama, nothing. It was just the guys talking about random guy things and of course, strippers. Strippers was the next stop on the bachelor party extravaganza.

The four boys arrived at Starlets, Joey's strip club of choice and sat waiting for the show to begin. Ross noticed Kristi walk towards them.

"Hey, boys," Kristi said.

"Put on some clothes," Joey said.

"I'm at work Joey. So who's the bachelor?" Kristi said.

"Me but I can't-I don't-I-well, hi," Chandler said.

"You are so cute and weird," Kristi said.

"I'm getting married," Chandler said.

"I know you are, cutie. Alright, I'm on in a few. You gonna give me some cheddar, baby?" Kristi asked, looking at Joey.

"Always do, honey," Joey said as Kristi walked off and Joey still kept grinning.

"How are you friends with strippers?" Ross asked.

"No, I have a better question. Six years of being roommates, you didn't chip in once. She dances for three minutes and you give her a few bucks?" Chandler asked.

"Look like that and I'll give you anything you want," Joey said.

"Where did you even meet her?" Tyler asked.

"Kindergarten," Joey said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Oh, she's dancing."

The boys turned to watch Kristi on stage, dancing up against a pole and slowly taking off her clothes to the music. It did feel a little strange watching someone that Joey was actually friends with and whom he had talked to dancing around up there. Joey definitely seemed to be enjoying himself. Chandler, Ross and Tyler sat back and let Joey have his fun. After the club, they retreated back to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica was in Atlantic City with her friends so they had the place to themselves. They were soon joined by Alli and Kristi and Joey disappeared into his apartment leaving the three guys to play Red Bull Pong on the roof.

It was through a few weeks of detective work that Ross and Monica found Gandalf's apartment. Their cab pulled up to the building and when they were let in the building, they immediately walked up the steps to his door. It had been nerve wracking, Ross had no desire to do it. He really just wanted nothing to do with Gandalf and he knew Monica didn't really want to find Gandalf either, but Chandler had been doing well and maybe they would do this for him. When the door opened, Gandalf seemed very reluctant to see him.

"What do you two want?" Gandalf asked.

"You haven't RSVPed to my wedding," Monica said.

"That's rude," Ross said.

Gandalf rolled his eyes, "and this is not rude? I am not coming to your wedding. You've brainwashed him into thinking he has some sort of problem. So he likes to drink. It's not an issue."

"It is an issue. It's an issue when he doesn't know how to stop," Ross said.

"He has been able to stop...you're the ones saying he has a problem. You two are the ones with the problem. You try to control everyone. He has no problem."

"Okay, I'm not going to argue about this with you but I will say if it was the case that it was just me and Ross thinking he had the problem, we have friends that would have no problem telling us that. You are the only person that Chandler is friends with that thinks there's no problem," Monica said.

"What about that buddy of his from high school?" Gandalf asked.

"Tyler? Tyler thinks there's a problem," Monica said.

"Then you've brainwashed him too," Gandalf him.

"Wow, I really wish I was that powerful. Really, believe me….to get a large group of people to convince someone that they have a drug and alcohol problem and then get that person to go to rehab and AA meetings because I am that powerful. Gandalf, I can't even get my own staff to listen to me….let alone my friends," Monica said.

"Look, it would mean a lot to Chandler if you came to the wedding. You have the invitation. Come to the wedding. Don't do it for me, don't do it for Monica but if that friendship meant anything to you because it meant something to him…..if meant something, then come to the wedding," Ross said.

"Are you two done?" Gandalf asked.

"And you're getting chicken," Monica said. "If you come, you're getting chicken."

"Are you two done?" Gandalf asked.

"Yes, let's go," Ross said, walking off. As soon as they began walking outside, he looked at his sister, "Do you think that will work?"

"It worked when I yelled at Chandler before your wedding to Carol."

"Yeah, but he liked you," Ross said, remembering how Monica had basically forced Chandler out of hiding.

"Hmmm….wow...I'm getting married."

"I can't believe he's going to be my brother-in-law. I mean, if you had told me when I had first met him that he'd end up being my brother-in-law, I 'd think you were nuts," Ross said, shaking his head.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Kip used to say that he thought Chandler would die before thirty and when Chandler turned thirty, he said that he was surprised he had survived to the age of thirty….did you think he was going to die before he hit that age?"

Ross let that sink in. Despite the fact that they had forgotten, there had been times when he wondered, when everyone wondered if Chandler would make it.

"Hmmm….I think it depended on the day. He's a good guy and I think you're good for him and I think he's good for you. You make a good team."

"We do. I'm getting married and I will stay married because neither Chandler nor I are gay, I can bet we will say the right names at the altar. He's not going to say Rachel's name and neither one of us will be so wasted the we're gonna forget that we ever got married….so I win."

"It's not a competition," Ross said, laughing at his sister.

"That's what you say when you lose."

"You never know, maybe Lizzie or Janice or Kathy will crash your wedding and try to get Chandler back and he might say one of their names at the altar."

"I really doubt that will happen."

"You might say Richard," Ross said.

"That's not gonna happen….yeah, let's face it, I'm better at weddings than you. I win. Monica one, Ross zero."

Ross laughed as Monica grinned, practically skipping down the street. He couldn't help but think about what a huge dork his sister was. Even though it wasn't his wedding, he was still looking forward to it. It was a long time coming. He remembered Chandler admitting to Ross that he had feelings for Monica, Chandler had admitted to that several times and so did Monica. He had watched from afar as they both tried to run from their feelings, Monica especially. Sometimes you just can no longer run…

Or you could…

The night before the wedding, Chandler Bing had vanished completely. At the rehearsal dinner, Chandler had been acting a little bit odd and now he had vanished. Ross was furious. After everything, Chandler would pull this. He had to control his anger as he kept searching. He wondered what he'd do if he found Chandler? Would he hit him? Kick him? Maybe he could find one of Joey's mobster friends to hunt him down? He had just begun to forgive Chandler, to not be so angry at him. He had been doing so well and now this.

After searching all night, Phoebe joined him. Rachel was in charge of stalling. Phoebe and Ross were running around the streets of New York. They took cabs to Chandler's office, the gym, Central Perk, everywhere. They could not find him anywhere.

"I don't...I-I don't...I can't-he cannot run out on my sister. I will kill him," Ross said.

"Well, where do you think he can be?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know. And you know what's worse?" Ross asked.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"He's clean. He ran off and he's sober," Ross said.

"I know," Phoebe said.

"I...I don't get it. I just...it's...I've known him for fourteen years. Fourteen. I've had enough. When does someone else get to be the center of attention."

"Well, today is his day to get attention," Phoebe said.

"Which he is supposed to share with Monica. Right now, we're not thinking of Monica."

"Okay, well...think. Where else can he be?" Phoebe asked.

Phoebe kept looking at Ross, waiting for an answer. Ross stopped. He had to clear his head. He had to think. Where could Chandler be? Where would Chandler run to if he needed to get away? Where did he always disappear to? The movies. It hit him. Where Chandler always vanished to, his safe place. Where they had tracked him down once before and they would do it once more.

"He's in Scarsdale."

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Come on. I know where he is. G-d, I'm an idiot."

"Wait, Ross...Scarsdale is almost an hour away and has a toll road."

"I know. He'll owe us money," Ross said as he hailed a cab and gave the driver an address.

About an hour later, they pulled up to Chandler's house, the one he grew up in. The last time he had been there was when he had disappeared right after college. Of course he would be at that place.

"Where are we?" Phoebe asked.

"This is his home."

"Wait-"

"The house he grew up in. Come on."

Phoebe followed Ross to the front door. Ross knocked and a small Hispanic woman opened the door with a smile.

"Hi, is Chandler Bing here?" Ross asked.

"Yes, he's in-"

Ross didn't wait for a response, just shoved past the woman and past a wide, wooden staircase. He opened up the two big double doors and walked in. Chandler was staring at the movie screen. He was watching one of the old _Monty Python _movies. Ross and Phoebe ran down the aisle and towards Chandler both taking a seat by him. It took every ounce of energy Ross had to not punch him.

"I am going to kill you," Ross said, sounding very methodical. "Are you really going to do this?"

"Does she know?" Chandler asked, staring straight ahead.

"No and she doesn't need to know. We need to get back," Ross said.

"No. No...I can't. I can't do this," Chandler said.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Phoebe asked.

"She's gonna leave me. If we become the Bings, she's gonna get fed up and leave. My parents were the Bings and they crashed and burned. If she leaves...no...no...I can't...I-"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Phoebe asked.

"If this fails-" Chandler said.

"Are you really that insecure?" Ross asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"You know...Chandler...I can't...okay, look if Monica hasn't left you by now, she isn't going to but the rest of us are pretty damn close. I mean, fuck...we just spent three months trying to make sure you were safe and okay. What else is it gonna take? You're gonna destroy the one thing you've wanted for as long as I've known you because you think she'll run out on you?" Phoebe asked.

"And you know...if you do run out, that's it. We can no longer be friends. That's a fact. If you run out on my sister...you are no longer my friend," Ross said.

"I-it's just-I mean...this...It's too huge...this whole thing is too huge. I can't-"

"Okay, Chandler listen... right now...no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. Okay, but you can do this. You can make that leap. You can make this work. Stop being so goddamned self destructive. You know this won't end. There are plenty of people out there who can make marriage work. Ross and Monica's parents. People do make it work and besides...there's another reason you have to go back," Phoebe said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Monica's pregnant," Phoebe said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"What?" Ross asked. Monica was pregnant?

"Rachel and I found the pregnancy test in the trash. Monica's pregnant...and...do you really wanna be that guy? Do you wanna be like my dad...or yours? You really wanna be like that? I know you love her so much and I know no one will work harder to make their marriage work than you and Monica will. Yeah, you'll be the Bings, but you'll also be the Gellers. You're marrying Monica. You think she's gonna lose at marriage?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm gonna be a dad?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah," Phoebe said.

"Oh crap," Chandler said.

"So...you wanna go get married," Ross said.

"Not to you," Chandler said, giving him a smirk.

"He's coming back to us," Ross said.

"Seriously. Chandler, when will you stop this?" Phoebe asked.

"I can do this. What the fuck am I doing? No, no...I don't wanna be that guy. If she's pregnant, I need to be there...and I love her so much. Ross, I do. I love her...I can't...not having her would just be..."

"Let's go. Stop...just stop," Ross said.

"I'm sorry, Ross," Chandler said.

"I know. Come on...ready to go?" Ross asked.

Chandler nodded and stood up. He looked at Ross and the two men hugged. Chandler leaned in and whispered another apology. He had enough of Chandler's apologies. They needed to get back. They took a cab back to the city and made it just in time without Monica ever knowing that Chandler had left.

After dropping Phoebe off with the girls, Ross and Chandler took a cab to the hotel. Ross was still pissed when they walked into the Groom's Dressing Room. He was angry, sitting there as Chandler got ready. He did not want to say anything because he was afraid he'd say something he'd regret and there was also the fact that his sister was pregnant. He wanted to be happy but he kept alternating between sheer anger and being happy that Monica was expecting.

"I just wanna say...I'm sorry again," Chandler said as the two men sat in the dressing room. They still had some time to get ready. Chandler was moving a little slow in his getting ready process.

"It's fine...just stop pulling this crap," Ross said knowing he sounded worn out.

"I know. Sophie passed away. Sophie passed away before the rehearsal dinner and I freaked...I drank a beer. I mean, I'm back on the wagon but...it would kill me to lose your sister. She is my best friend and I know you gave that bizarre world speech to me yesterday about threatening to kick my ass if I hurt her...I love her, Ross. She is everything I wish I could be and I promise I will do my best to never intentionally hurt her."

Ross let that sink in. He had given a speech to Chandler at the rehearsal dinner. He had warned Chandler against hurting his sister. He thought it was a good speech, everyone else thought it was funny. Chandler's words kept running through his head. He kinda got it. Chandler ran out on his sister, not out of a fear of commitment but because he was so afraid of hurting Monica that he wanted to take control.

"I'm sorry about Sophie and I won't tell the others you fell off the wagon...and I know you would never intentionally hurt Monica," Ross said.

"Yeah. I'm gonna be a father. G-d, help us all."

"I think you'd be a good dad."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah and welcome to the family," Ross said.

"I feel like I've been part of the family for years."

"You kinda have."

"Yeah and thanks for not giving up on me. That means a lot. I mean, I know I'm not an easy guy to be friends with and I know I was probably a sucky roommate...but I really am grateful that...that we remained friends and that you refused to give up."

"I'm not giving up on you and I know you didn't run because of cold feet."

"No...I like her too much...I'm gonna get ready. I'm getting married," Chandler said as he got up. He grabbed his tux and walked into the bathroom where he changed. Ross remained seated and let out an exhausted sigh. No, Chandler was not an easy friend but he was a lot of fun.


	49. Chapter 49

**May 2001**

He walked in between Phoebe and Rachel. Walking both of them down the aisle, they both looked stunning in their flowered gowns and he loved standing between them. He looked at both women. They both meant the world to him. Phoebe kept him on his toes and Rachel was his true love, his one and only. He needed both in his life. As he walked, another thought entered his mind...

"Hmmm," Ross said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing….just never walked down an aisle without the fear that it will end up with divorce papers," Ross said.

"Well, you never know, you might meet someone tonight and just get a quickie marriage and divorce for the fun of it," Rachel joked.

"I was thinking about it. Depends on how much I drink," Ross said.

"You know, I'm thinking you two are next," Phoebe said.

Ross looked over at Phoebe, his eyes wide and Phoebe could not stop beaming. He hated when she did that, although Phoebe usually was right about these things...he still hated it.

"Pheebs," Rachel said.

"What? You're each other's lobsters. Hey, I was right about Mondler, wasn't I?" Phoebe asked.

"Phoebe," Rachel said, looking at her. Ross could not help but smile at how flustered Rachel seemed to be getting. Maybe instead of picking on Pheebs, he could mess with Rachel instead.

"Well, you know we already did get married once. Maybe that was a rehearsal?" Ross asked.

"Really? We're gonna discuss this now?" Rachel asked, giving him a look.

"Love you, Rach," Ross said.

"Yeah, bite me," Rachel muttered as the three reached Chandler who was waiting at the front. He was dressed in his tux and was beaming from ear to ear. Rachel and Phoebe stepped off towards where Monica would soon be standing and Ross stepped behind Chandler, but not before doing their "lame cool guy handshake". He wasn't sure when that handshake had come into play. He wasn't sure what had happened or the story behind it but he, Chandler and Joey had somehow formed their own "handshake". They never did this with the girls nor with any of their friends outside the group. It was just the three of them and when any of the girls tried to do the handshake with them, they declined. It was a guy thing.

"Congrats, brother," Ross whispered before stepping behind him.

"Thank you," Chandler said. "Wow."

"You alright?"

"Perfect."

Ross turned to watch as his parents walked his little sister down the aisle. She looked stunning in her long white dress and he felt immensely proud to be her brother. Yes, she drove him nuts. She was over the top at times and he would have been lying if he said there weren't times he wanted to sell her for some pocket change, but he couldn't ask for a better friend. As adults, they got each other and were each other's best friend. He felt lucky to have Monica in his life. Rachel wasn't close to her sisters, Phoebe didn't speak to her's and Joey was close to his sisters but he didn't see them all that much. Chandler was an only child. Ross had Monica and he was grateful for it.

Of course, leave it to Joey to throw an unintentional wrench in what would have been a perfect ceremony. Perhaps it had been Joey being flustered that had caused him to slip and mention it but in the midst of his officiating, he let it slip that Chandler had run out. He was still in his soldier costume, having raced off the set to be there in time to officiate Monica and Chandler's ceremony. He was most certainly flustered, having forgotten his notes and when he announced that Chandler had taken off, there was a gasp. Ross bit his lip as Joey, realizing his mistake looked over at Ross. Ross looked at his sister and noticed a look of anger appear on her face. He wondered if she would run, if she would smack him but instead she took a deep breath and began her vows.

"Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince. I wondered when it would be my turn. I met you in 1987 and since then I knew, somehow knew that my prince was also my best friend. For so long, I tried to ignore it, deny it but three years ago, I could no longer run and when I stopped, I realized that everything I had ever wanted had been right there the whole time. You have been what I have been looking for. My soul mate, my prince, my favorite jokester….my best friend and as we go forward into the future, I know we will be able to conquer anything that arises. We have conquered so much already and we are stronger because of it and I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together, as husband and wife. Unless you don't want to, you are free to go," Monica said, glaring at him.

Ross let out a snort and tried to hold back his laughter. He knew Monica was angry and that dig was perfectly suited for her. He wondered what Chandler would do next.

"Chandler, you're up," Joey said.

Ross remembered he had put Chandler's vows in his pocket. He reached in and handed them to Chandler who brushed him off. Chandler was apparently going to wing it which would be interesting to see.

"I...I have made many mistakes in life. I've said the wrong the things, done the wrong things...acted too quickly or didn't act at all. But the one thing I am certain of is that you are the woman that I meant to be with. You are the person who makes me better than I ever thought I could possibly be. You make me work harder. You came into my life in 1987 and have never left. Without you, I'm not much of anything. With you, I am complete. There is no one else I want to be with, no one else I want to laugh with, grow old with or be with because as they say when you know, you know and I know. You're it for me, Monica and I've never been more sure of anything. I love you and I will always love you and whatever surprises come our way, I will still love you. Yeah, I'm sure. You're my Sally," Chandler said, referring to his own nickname for Monica. Ross knew that Monica and Chandler felt like they were a real life When Harry Met Sally.

He smiled as he looked at Monica, Rachel and Phoebe. All three were crying, yeah Chandler had a gift that he was pretty sure his friend never gave himself credit for. He could talk people into staying with him when they wanted to kill him instead. Ross kinda wished he had that ability. As the ceremony continued, he kept looking over at Rachel. He had said her name at the wedding to Emily. It was going to end with them together. That's how the story was supposed to end. Why couldn't they make it work? He could imagine him and Rachel standing where Monica and Chandler were currently standing. Chandler would be his Best Man. He wasn't sure who Rachel would have as her Maid of Honor. Phoebe or Monica? Or would she feel the need to have one of her sisters be a Maid of Honor? Joey could officiate again and maybe Jonathan and Sam could be groomsmen? He was meant to be with Rachel. They had been through so much and their story had not ended yet. He was shaken out of his trance when heard the applause and Monica and Chandler sharing a kiss. Joey had pronounced them as husband and wife. Ross' little sister was now married and Chandler was officially his brother-in-law.

After the ceremony, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey gave Monica and Chandler a moment to themselves before descending on them. The group was now officially four singles and a married couple. When they felt they had given the two enough alone time, they walked into the now empty ceremony hall to celebrate with them.

"I can't believe this. It's amazing. You're married," Rachel said as they surrounded the two.

"I know. We're married," Monica said.

"And...okay, I wanna say something. I'm an asshole," Chandler said. "I am so grateful and lucky to have each one of you. Please know that and I am so sorry for what I pulled today. I love this woman. I got scared not because of committing but...because I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Mon-"

"You're not losing me. I promise you. It doesn't matter how badly you fuck up...I'm in this. I'm not leaving this marriage. You are my husband. The fact that you could run off before the wedding and I still married you, that's your proof," Monica said.

"Thank you and to the rest of you...Phoebe, Joey, Ross, Rachel...I am so, so sorry. I promise to get my head out of my ass and be far more grateful that I have friends like you and thanks for not giving up on me. Thank you for being there these last three months. Thank you for always being there. I know I have not made it easy...I want you guys to be okay with me again," Chandler said.

"We are. We always will be...its just...can you please start making it easier for us to be your friend...'cause that would really help us out," Rachel said.

"Yeah. That would," Joey said.

"I will do my best." Chandler said.

"Alright...now, can we please celebrate?" Monica asked which the others agreed with. It was time to celebrate. Chandler's running was a thing of the past and there was now a new chapter to the group.

He had not expected to see Gandalf, had really not expected him to show up. He had been sitting with Ben working with him on a very intricate sugar packet house when he noticed Gandalf walk into the reception. He noticed Chandler pointing him out to Monica and walking off towards him.

"Dad, pay attention," Ben said. "You're breaking the roof."

Ross looked over at the sugar packet house and looked back at Monica. He needed to check in with his sister. Judging by both Monica and Chandler's attitudes, it didn't seem like this would end up being the happy reunion he had thought it would be.

"I'll be right back," Ross said as he stood up and walked towards Monica who was still standing, watching Chandler. "I guess Gandalf listened."

"Yeah, but I don't think Chandler wants him here," Monica said as she walked off towards Chandler with Ross following her. As they approached the two men, he heard Chandler telling Gandalf that he didn't have to be at the wedding.

"Chandler?" Monica asked.

"You said he wanted me here," Gandalf said.

"I thought you would," Ross said, looking at Chandler.

"No...see, recently, I've learned how to tell the difference between real friends and not real ones. You're an ass Gandalf. You've always been an ass and if you wanna make fun of me, go right ahead, but leave the rest of them alone," Chandler said.

"I think you should leave, Gandalf," Monica said.

"This is ridiculous. I'm here because you two forced me-"

"I made a mistake," Monica said.

"Yeah and I always thought you were an ass too," Ross said, momentarily thrown by his sister admitting to making a mistake. Gandalf let out a snort and handed his two champagne flutes to Ross and backed out of the room, leaving. Chandler turned to face both Monica and Ross.

"Look, you two...I appreciate both of you so much but...you can't force people into the Geller world if they don't want to be," Chandler said.

"We kinda forced you," Monica grinned.

"Awww, but I always secretly wanted to be," Chandler said as he placed his arm around Monica. Ross quickly downed both flutes of champagne which made Chandler laugh. "Thanks, man."

"No problem and I'm sorry about Gandalf...and Kip. I know you were friends with them."

"Yeah, but I kept the one that mattered," Chandler said.

"Thanks," Ross said, quite touched by that.

The three walked towards the dance floor, Monica and Chandler continued dancing as Ross began to walk towards Ben when he noticed his son now talking to Jack and Judy. Jack had taken over the building of the house and Ben was instructing him.

"Hey, is everything okay here?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, dad. Grandpa Jack is better at building. Put it over there," Ben pointed and Jack, with a look on his face as if he performing intricate surgery, put the pink Sweet 'n Low packet on top of two other packets.

"Phew, that was tough," Jack said.

"Don't breathe too hard," Ben said.

"Honey, you go have fun. We got Ben," Judy said.

"Yeah, just don't get married today, son. It's Harmonica's day," Jack said.

"Thanks, dad."

"Oh, Jack. You know the next woman he'll marry is Rachel," Judy said.

"Nothing like the love and support of your own parents," Ross said.

"Go have fun, sweetie," Judy said.

"Thank you," Ross said, looking around the reception. Monica and Chandler were dancing and laughing about something. Rachel and Phoebe seemed to be in deep conversation while Joey was talking to some girl. He noticed a blonde girl sitting by herself at a table. He recognized her as someone who worked at Monica's restaurant but he couldn't place her name. He walked over to her and sat next to her.

"Hi….I'm Ross. Brother of the bride."

"I'm Mona. I'm a waitress at Alessandro's."

"Nice to meet you. Although, I'm a little shocked."

"Why?"

"Well, Monica has no friends at work….from what I've heard?"

"No, no...that's just the kitchen staff. The waiters and waitresses really like her."

"That's cool...so..did you grow up in New York?" Ross asked.

"Brooklyn. You?"

"Long Island."

He liked Mona, so far. No, he was not planning on proposing to Mona. He would keep that restraint. He had already made the decision that he would marry Rachel. The engagement ring in his safe was for Rachel. She would let him know when she was ready. She hadn't let him know yet, so now he could just date.

Soon, there were speeches. Phoebe and Rachel got up to talk about how they knew Chandler and Monica and how much love they had for both of them and then came Joey who talked on and on about his love of Chandler. Ross was the final one to give a speech. He had been practicing it, written stuff and he couldn't quite think of what to say. How proud he was of both of them, how much time they had spent trying to ignore their feelings but he knew. He knew all along that they would end up together. It just made sense. He stood with his champagne glass in the air, he didn't want to make a long speech. Just wanted short and sweet because he knew the girls would make long speeches and he had been right.

"So, I don't know what to say here," Ross said, "but I am thrilled for both Monica and Chandler. Chandler, when I first met you freshman year of college...I kinda thought you were a bit of a douche but as I got to know you, there is no one funnier than you and I don't know what happened that paired us as roommates but I'm so glad we were. You are hilarious and as you've shown in the last three months, you are one of the strongest guys I know. I've watched you go through a lot and I'm really proud of you man. More than you know. I'm thrilled to call you my brother and this wedding is doubly special for me...because not only is the groom my best friend, but the bride is my little sister and the greatest sister a guy can ask for. I've watched these two from sidelines since the day they met each other and I can safely say that I don't think either one has been as happy as they are when they're together...to Monica and Chandler."

After the speeches, Joey approached him and as the two were chatting about Gandalf, Chandler approached them.

"You kicked him out?" Joey asked.

"I did. I don't need him here," Chandler said.

"How are you doing? Not drinking at your wedding?" Joey asked.

"I'm okay. Today, it's easy."

"You took a beer, didn't you? From my fridge?" Joey asked.

"Did you tell him?" Chandler asked, looking at Ross.

"No, I just knew what I had. I had a six pack of beer...one was missing," Joey said.

"Amazing. Alright...I fell off the wagon. But I'm back on," Chandler said.

"Good," Joey said.

"And thank you for the speeches gentlemen, hope to one day return the favor," Chandler said.

"You like being married so far?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, so far so good. I'm planning on this being the last time I do this but you know…" Chandler said.

"Very funny, hey I was talking to Mona over there. She works with Monica. I did not ask her to marry me," Ross smirked.

"Whoa," Joey said.

"He's growing," Chandler said.

"Shut up of both you...why am I friends with you two?" Ross asked.

"Because we keep you from collapsing under the weight of your own ego," Chandler said.

"That's probably true," Ross mused which made both Chandler and Joey laugh, "but hey, at least I know I'll be on marriage number four before Joey here gets to number one."

"Well, duh...yeah," Joey said.

"Now, now Joe. Give yourself some credit. I think you'll be on marriage number one before Ross is on his fifth or sixth marriage," Chandler said.

"I would say probably around my fifth. I'll say fifth," Ross said.

"Thank you," Joey said.

They were still laughing and messing with each other when someone came over to tell Chandler to let him know it was time to cut the cake. Chandler left the two of them to get Monica.

"So, you wanna take a bet?" Joey asked.

"I'm not betting when my next marriage is," Ross said.

"No, not that. Do you think Chandler's gonna smash the cake in Mon's face?" Joey asked.

"Hmmm, interesting. Maybe. Let's check with the girls. They should be in on this," Ross said as the two walked towards Phoebe and Rachel.

"Twenty bucks says he smashes her in the face with the cake," Joey said.

"Oh no...he already knows he's in trouble over what happened earlier. He wouldn't do that. She'd kill him," Phoebe said.

They watched closely as Monica and Chandler cut the cake. Ross let out a laugh as he watched Chandler carefully feed his sister cake as if he were trying to dismantle a bomb or something. He was being so careful not to drop a crumb on her dress, on the floor, anywhere. Ross looked at Monica who kept staring at Chandler, grinning slightly and Ross knew immediately what would happen next.

"Oh, G-d...I know that look," Rachel whispered.

"Me too," Ross said.

Monica raised an eyebrow, ran her tongue over her teeth as she stared directly at Chandler. She picked up a big handful of cake and proceeded to smash it in Chandler's face. Chandler began laughing as the other four cheered. Monica was grinning.

"I can play," Monica said as the two kissed.

Ross laughed as he watched Chandler retaliate by smashing a little cake in Monica's face. The two continued to share kisses as they wiped off their faces and walked onto the dance floor while the cake was being served. Ross looked over at Rachel who looked sad. She looked so gorgeous yet sad.

"Dance with me, Green," Ross said as he grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her onto the floor. He held her close to him. He truly loved this woman. He could joke with Chandler and Joey about having a lot of marriages but his fourth one would be his last and there would only be one person. He heard Rachel sniffling. He looked at her and noticed she was crying, "You alright?"

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant…..we're going to parents. I'm sorry, Ross or not….we're gonna be parents."

Ross stared at her without saying a word. Phoebe had found the pregnancy test. He had thought it was Monica's but he hadn't a chance to ask her about it. It wasn't Monica. It was Rachel? He was going to be a dad? Again?

"You're pregnant?"

"Yep. So you wanna talk to that blonde some more?" Rachel asked.

Ross said nothing and instead pulled her closer to him, giving her a kiss on her forehead and she rested her head on his shoulder. They kept dancing, not wanting the song to end because as soon as it ended, the reality would set in but for now….now, they'd just dance.

After the wedding, Ross was in his room when Rachel knocked on the door. He was still trying to absorb everything. When he opened the door, he stepped aside and let her in. The two lay side by side on his bed, not sure what to say.

"Phoebe and Joey are playing drinking games. Monica and Chandler are probably…..doing each other."

"I didn't need to know that," Ross said, grabbing her hand. "So you're pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"You sure it's mine?" Ross asked and then silently cursing himself, of course it was his.

"Yes….and shut up."

"Wow."

"Wow?"

"I don't know what to say. Should we get married?"

"What?"

"We should get married."

"'Cause that's your answer for everything?" Rachel asked.

He hadn't planned on getting married at Monica and Chandler's wedding but this just seemed right if he was going to be a dad.

"Well no, it's...we should….they probably haven't put everything away and Joey can marry us and-"

"I don't-I don't want to get married Ross."

"You don't?"

"Well...that's if we're in love. Are we in love?"

"I don't know," Ross said, truthfully. He was but then again he wasn't sure if they were ready to start again.

"And….you know...I guess I should tell you, I've been pregnant before," Rachel said, quietly.

"When you were in eleventh grade?" Ross asked.

"You knew?" Rachel asked.

"Everyone knew."

She let out a snort and Ross just shook his head. He remembered after she had her abortion in the eleventh grade, he remembered seeing her on the bench by the comic book store and taking her inside to look at the comics. He remembered how sad she looked and how she wanted to tell no one.

"Chip and I had sex and I got pregnant and had an abortion and told no one….except Amy who took me to the clinic. I didn't even tell Chip but that's why I reacted so badly to that prank Chandler pulled. He and his friends visited and I pretended not to know him and I knew him. I knew who he was immediately. I just pretended not to."

"I understand."

"What are we gonna do?"

"I'm going to be by your side the whole time...you know that, right? You're going to keep….you're going to-"

"I'm keeping the baby. I can't do that again. But what about us? What do we do? You and me? I mean, even if we got married….what would change between us? It doesn't work when we're together. We've tried it and it doesn't work."

"So you think we should have the baby but not be together?"

"I don't know. I just felt so sad today watching Monica and Chandler….they're so perfect. Yes, Chandler can be an idiot sometimes. He ran out on the wedding and why the hell did he do that?"

"I was going to kill him…..although, it a weird way, his reason for running was kind of sweet."

"What?"

"He loves Monica so much that the thought of losing her freaked him out so he wanted to control that. He would leave before she did," Ross said.

"She's not leaving him."

"I think he knows that now."

"Monica has loved Chandler forever. They really are a real life When Harry met Sally. Why can't we get us right, Ross? And now...we're gonna have a child and we still….I can't…"

"We will figure this out."

"When?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Ross said as Rachel simply nodded. She rested her head on his shoulder as he turned to gently kiss her. He really did not. He needed to talk to someone. He needed advice. He wasn't sure what he needed but then maybe it just needed to be him and Rachel.


	50. Chapter 50

**May 2001-November 2001**

The next morning before brunch, Ross walked towards the honeymoon suite and knocked to talk to his sister. He saw Monica and Chandler getting ready, Monica brushing her hair and Chandler putting on his shirt. He sat in a chair and let out a loud sigh before revealing.

"So, Rachel's pregnant," Ross said.

"I knew it," Monica said.

"See, Mon...it's what I told you? Phoebe said it wasn't her's and...I knew it had to be Rachel," Chandler said.

"What am I gonna do?" Ross asked.

"When's the wedding?" Chandler asked.

"She doesn't wanna get married," Ross said.

"Well, what do you wanna do?" Monica asked.

"I'm gonna be a dad. Again."

"Mazel Tov," Chandler said.

"Look, why don't we just go downstairs, okay...we'll have brunch and we'll talk about it? Whatever happens, the six of us will deal with it together," Monica said.

"Yeah, let's go….you guys will have mimosas while Rachel and I watch," Chandler said.

Ross laughed as Monica and Chandler finished getting ready. When they were done, they met up with the other three for brunch. They sat in a sort of awkward silence, drinking coffee, powering their way their way through French toast and waffles. Monica and Chandler were being very cute with each other, still basking in the glow of their wedding and while Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Ross sipped mimosas, Rachel and Chandler stuck with coffee.

"Can we talk about it now?" Monica asked, letting out a sigh. It was getting too hard to ignore the elephant in the room.

"About what?" Rachel asked.

"Rach," Monica said.

"But….it's still your weekend. We're still in the midst of the Monica celebrations," Rachel grinned.

"Wait….shouldn't it be the Monica and Chandler celebrations?" Chandler asked.

"No," Monica said.

Chandler let out a laugh and placed his arm around Monica, kissing her.

"Monica-" Rachel started.

"No, besides Ross told me this morning," Monica said.

"What? You did?" Rachel asked, looking at him.

"I had to, I'm sorry….I just...I had to say something. I went to their room when you were getting ready this morning," Ross said.

"I wish you hadn't done that," Rachel said, glaring at him. He wasn't quite sure why she was getting mad. It seemed like everyone pretty much knew already.

"I had to say something," Ross said.

"No, you didn't," Rachel said. "It's my decision and I wanted to try and keep it secret until after this weekend."

"Well, I mean...we all kinda knew," Phoebe said. "You confirmed it to me."

"I didn't know. You knocked her up?" Joey asked, looking over at Ross.

"Classy, Joe. I know you knew but...let's-I just- I don't wanna discuss this now," Rachel said, "please, I want to keep this about Chandler and Monica. Although, Chandler why didn't you tell me Sophie passed away."

"I-well-you're pregnant," Chandler offered.

"You're weird," Rachel said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We'll visit her. I promise," Chandler said.

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"Look, I appreciate you not wanting to tell us or not confirm it right now but we do all kind of know. Let's just discuss it," Monica said.

"Fine….I am pregnant. Ross and I are going to have a child," Rachel said, letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Are you getting married? 'Cause I know how to do that," Joey said.

"No, no marriage although, that's only what I want….who knows, Ross may have already gotten us a marriage license in the last twenty four hours," Rachel said.

"Why are you mad?" Ross asked.

"Because it's so typical of you Ross. You never asked if I had told Monica or Chandler or if anyone knew so you went completely over my head and made the decisions without asking me. Yes, I confirmed it to Phoebe but I hadn't confirmed to anyone else," Rachel said, motioning to the rest of the group.

"They were going to find out eventually," Ross said, not mentioning that they knew before he told them.

"And why couldn't I have been the one to make that choice. I especially didn't want Monica and Chandler knowing right now because this weekend is still supposed to be about them," Rachel said.

"It's okay, Rach. Hey, you're pregnant. At least for the next nine months, I can have a non-drinking buddy," Chandler said.

"I'm going to be an aunt. It can still be about me," Monica said as she reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it.

"Yeah, yeah and now, when we have our weekly lunches….we can choose all the bad, fattening places to eat. The ones I always recommend and you refuse to go to? Oh, nine months without having to go somewhere that has menu items like kale or…queef-wah?" Chandler sounded confused.

"It's pronounced keen-wah," Rachel corrected him.

"It's gonna be amazing. I can make it about me too. Nine months of bacon cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries," Chandler mused.

"Wait….no," Monica said, giving him a look.

"I'm just gonna help Rachel out," Chandler argued.

"By clogging your arteries and giving yourself a heart attack at thirty two?" Monica asked.

"Well, you know I'm trying to give more to my friends," Chandler said, "it's the thirteenth step."

"Thanks, guys….and Chandler, we cannot have bacon cheeseburgers every week," Rachel said.

"Nachos," Chandler remarked.

"Oooo, tempting," Rachel said. "But can we not….now...I really, I just….you two got married yesterday. You're gonna go on your honeymoon, you're going to Turks and Caicos. I'm jealous. Let's talk about that."

"Okay, we can….just Pheebs, you can't invite yourself on this trip," Chandler teased.

"Bite me," Phoebe retorted.

Chandler leaned in towards Phoebe to playfully bite her shoulder which elicited laughter from the rest of the group. Leave it to Chandler to make things a little lighter again. Ross still thought it was strange for Rachel to be upset. It made no sense for her to be upset. It wasn't like she could keep it secret.

Once they got back to Monica and Chandler's, Rachel retreated to her room as the rest of them brought up all the gifts. They all sat around staring at the large pile of unopened presents when Monica decided they could not open without Rachel, so she left to get Rachel while the rest waited.

"Was I wrong to tell you guys?" Ross asked. "Phoebe, you already knew and Chandler, you figured it out."

"Well, I didn't know for sure. I thought it was Monica. That's why I came back," Chandler said.

"You came back because you thought she was pregnant?" Phoebe asked.

"Of course. I can't be that guy. I can do many stupid things, but I can't do that," Chandler said.

"I don't think she should be mad at this," Ross said.

"Well, maybe she thinks you should have waited until after the wedding stuff...you know how Mon gets. Every time it's about us, you and Rachel have a thing and this is supposed to be about us," Chandler said, "maybe that's why?"

Ross looked at Chandler who seemed rather uncomfortable with what he was saying. He wanted to say more when Monica and Rachel walked back into the apartment. Rachel couldn't even look at him as Chandler and Monica began opening gifts. Chandler seemed to be in the mood to make everyone laugh, holding up gifts and making random jokes while Monica kept telling him to be quiet.

"I just don't understand the point of cake plates," Chandler said.

"For cake," Monica said.

"Can't you just use a regular plate."

"No."

"And also, why so many gravy boats?" Chandler asked. "Seriously, you're never going to use the boat, you'll just dump from the jar like a person."

"We need the boat," Monica said.

Leave to Chandler to make everyone laugh. He even made Rachel laugh even though she was trying not to even smile. Soon, after the presents were open the other four decided to leave Monica and Chandler alone to let them continue to celebrate on their own. They stood awkwardly in the hall, staring at each other.

"So weird….we're now four singles and a married couple," Rachel mused.

"Yeah...so I'm gonna go meet up with Marjorie and Sue Ellen at Port Authority for drinks. You guys wanna come?" Phoebe asked.

"Sue Ellen's the slutty one, right?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Phoebe said.

"I'm in," Joey grinned, stepping towards Phoebe.

"I'm gonna stay here….I'm tired," Rachel said as she stepped back towards her door.

"I'll stay with you," Ross said.

"I don't want you to," Rachel said.

"I'll stay with you anyway," Ross said.

"Of course you will because what does it matter what I want," Rachel said, walking into her apartment and slamming the door shut. Ross opened the door and stepped inside. As Rachel heard the door slam shut, she turned and glared at him.

"When is it going to be my turn?"

"It is always your turn," Ross argued.

"I did not want to tell them yet. You should have asked if I wanted to tell Monica-"

"She's my sister, why wouldn't I want to tell her?"

"Because it's her wedding weekend. She was already pissed that we got married during their first anniversary trip to Vegas, you think she'd be thrilled that I'm finding out that I'm pregnant during her wedding weekend….and you're the dad. You're right, it's your sister. The same sister who gets mad when you steal her thunder, I know this, why the hell don't you?"

"I know Monica. But she would have found out."

"She didn't have to find out this weekend."

"Fine, I'm sorry I told Mon but she knows, they all know….now what?"

"I don't know….how did this even happen?" Rachel asked. "We were careful. We-we were really careful and-"

"I have it on tape," Ross said before realizing how that sounded. He had remembered after that night. He had remembered he had taped it. He took the tape before Joey could find it.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you going to be here for awhile?"

"Yes."

"Hold on," Ross said, leaving and running across the street to his apartment. As he walked in to grab the tape, he looked towards Monica and Chandler's apartment. The curtains were closed. He would forever consider that the greatest gift he would ever give them. He ran back across the street where Rachel was for him in her apartment.

"You taped us?" Rachel asked.

"Not on purpose."

"What?"

"Okay, remember that night? How I was already here? I was hanging out with Joey and I was asking him for advice. Dating advice. I haven't had a date in awhile but...well, he set me up with the camera and he went on a date and I practiced asking girls out and-"

"That's why you were talking to yourself," Rachel said.

"Yeah….and I forgot about the camera."

"So…."

"Everything got recorded."

"Oh….did you watch it?" Rachel asked.

"No, no...that's….no."

"Hmmm," Rachel said as she looked at him and then at the tape.

"What?" Ross asked, noticing the look on her face.

"I don't know. You know, Joey's not going to be home for awhile. He's out with Pheebs...and Mon and Chandler are being newlyweds."

"Do you wanna watch this?" Ross asked, giving her a look.

"I don't know."

"That would be weird."

"Yeah….but...I mean...we fought that night."

"We did."

"So maybe we can watch it and it can help us become better in our relationship?" Rachel offered.

"I'd like to be better in our relationship."

"Me too and we're going to be parents so….I'll lock the door," Rachel said as she walked towards the door and Ross walked towards the VCR to pop the tape in. Rachel walked back and the two made themselves comfortable in the big, comfty recliner and began watching. There was arguing, it was the same argument they kept having it seemed. Ross paused it and looked at her.

"You really think I'm an asshole, don't you?" Ross asked, looking at her, watching them fight all over again hurt him. Did she no longer like him?

"No, no, not at all….I just think...you...see...the way Chandler looks at Monica? I love that. The way he checks in with her and doesn't think he's better than her."

"I don't think I'm better than you. No, in fact I often ask what I did to get so lucky," Ross said, very truthfully.

"Hmmm, that's sweet but we're not having sex. We already did."

"Got it," Ross laughed as he pressed play and they continued to watch. The fighting led to kissing and then soon, they were watching themselves have sex. At first, he was amazed by how good they looked but soon it got gross. They seemed to be practically pawing at each other and suddenly both Ross and Rachel raced towards the VCR to turn off the tape.

He had not seen Will in years and seeing him that Thanksgiving was pretty awesome until he revealed a long kept secret. He had revealed the origin of the hermaphrodite rumor. Ross and Rachel were finally getting back on track and getting used to the idea of them now being parents and this threw it all off track.

"I can't believe you started that rumor," Rachel said to him, flipping through her old yearbook. The rest of the group was currently in the kitchen watching as Joey was finishing off a turkey and Will was long gone and he was trying to make it up to her.

"It was stupid. I'm sorry. It was dumb," Ross said.

"Well, why would you start it? That's why I punched Chandler's friend, Tyler, in the face."

"You punched him in the face because he asked if you had penis," Ross argued.

"Hey, hey…..leave Tyler out of this. Besides Rach, he told me that he asked you politely," Chandler said, grinning.

"Shut up," Rachel said, glaring at him.

"You really punched a guy in the face?" Joey asked.

"Oh, she did….it was quite a night," Monica mused.

"That was an awful night," Rachel said.

"It was awful 'cause of Chandler," Ross said.

"Wait, no. We were just there to see a game at a school that we didn't go to and you know, a hermaphrodite," Chandler said, looking at Rachel.

"I'm gonna punch you in the face," Rachel said, staring at him.

"Honey, I wanna see our first wedding anniversary," Monica said, patting Chandler's hand.

"What? I had a good night," Chandler said.

"Yeah, but then you went to a party at my house and saw the guy who bullied you in middle school," Joey said.

"Thank you, Joe," Rachel grinned.

"Wow. Whoa, who's side are you on man?" Chandler asked, as he dramatically placed his hand on his chest and stared at oey with a look of intense hurt.

"Look, okay….I am sorry for starting the rumor. I didn't know Chandler and his friends were gonna come to our school and be assholes," Ross said.

"Why am I getting in trouble?" Chandler asked.

"Okay, Chandler and his friends heard it from Nancy. Did you tell her?" Rachel asked.

"Really? Nancy didn't speak to me. I started it...I didn't know how to handle how I felt about you and I handled it wrong. I knew..I heard rumors too and-" Ross said.

"Why didn't you ask about those rumors?" Rachel asked.

"You didn't speak to me in public. You had rules to be your friend and mine were pretty strict. You didn't even acknowledge me in public," Ross said.

"Wow, Rach you really were a bitch in high school," Phoebe said.

"Gee, thanks Pheebs," Rachel said.

"I am sorry for starting the rumor but it was a long time ago….and we were on a break," Ross said, giving her a small, lopsided grin. Rachel grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it. "Please forgive me."

"I guess. That rumor was awful and I hate Will," Rachel said.

"Why were you even friends with her?" Chandler asked.

"I've told you, we were frenemies," Rachel said.

"Yeah, but...she basically lied and she knew it was a rumor that it wasn't true. We drove an hour out of our way because she told us something she knew was not true," Chandler said.

"She really was that awful," Ross said.

"Does Two Face have two parts?" Rachel asked, giving him a look. Ross let out a snort as he leaned in to kiss her on the head. He knew she was fine.

"No and look, who cares what Will says….you and I know our relationship, right?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, we do," Rachel said.

"Can you explain it to the rest of us?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, 'cause we don't get it," Phoebe said.

Rachel and Ross both laughed as they got up to join the others at the table. They would have to figure it out, somehow and they would, after all...they would soon be someone's parents.


	51. Chapter 51

**January 2002-May 2002**

He took Rachel to every doctor's appointment. He didn't love that Rachel was living across the street and not with him but for the time being they were trying to make it work. Taking her to every appointment was one of those ways and this particular appointment, he was definitely looking forward to. They would be finding out the sex of the baby which would help narrow down the names.

"Brian. If it's a boy," she said, laying there waiting for the doctor. Ross sat next to her and brushed the hair out of her face.

"Brian?"

"Yeah. I miss my friend. He would be….he'd be amazed at what I've become," Rachel said.

"He'd be proud of you," Ross said. He sometimes wished he had met Brian. Brian had been Rachel's best friend when she was still with Barry and according to Rachel, had really been her true friend.

"You think?"

"Yeah."

"You would've liked him. He was a lot like Chandler."

"Oooo, one of Chandler is more than enough," Ross joked.

"True...although, the more I think about it, the two of them together….they'd be constantly trying to top each other to see who could out-joke each other. They'd be nuts and Brian loved hockey at the same level as Chandler."

"Did he sit during games and stare intensely at the ice and not speak to anyone until it was done?" Ross asked.

"Yes. Why does Chandler do that?"

"I don't know. One time, Joey and I kept throwing popcorn at his head to try and break him and he took our popcorn away and smacked us both upside the head."

"Awwww," Rachel said.

"Yeah, he's weird….and he still didn't look away from the ice."

"I never realized how similar they really were. Kinda weird. Brian passes away and a little over a year later, my friendship with Chandler started. It's like I traded one for the other," Rachel said. Ross leaned in and kissed her, knowing she was feeling sad about her friend and wanted her to be happy again.

"So what if it's a girl?" She asked, shaking her head.

"Jurassica," Ross said. "Or wait….Diannasaur."

"Think some more," Rachel said, laughing.

"Tyramysaurous or Stegaphanie…saurous."

"We are not naming our child after our a dinosaur."

"You have no imagination."

The examination began and Ross held her hand. Everything felt real now, they were having a child. They were having a little girl. As Ross stared at the images on the screen, he thought again of the current living arrangements. He hated Rachel living across the street. Joey was there for everything, Monica and Chandler were next door and he kept missing things. He wanted Rachel to live with him. After the appointment, they walked hand in hand down the street as Rachel kept talking about their little girl.

"I think I need to try and design baby clothes. I've never designed clothes for kids. I think I need special stuff. I have to shop. I'm going to teach her to be nice and embrace being nice and-"

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Ross asked, he wasn't sure how to bring this up but he thought something needed to change. Missing everything seemed strangely familiar, as well. He had been down this path before and he wanted desperately to be more involved.

"Yeah."

"Look...I've been thinking and I know it's us and there's probably going to be drama but….you're having my child and I don't….I don't like that you live across the street. I missed a lot when Carol was pregnant and now I'm gonna miss a lot...again-"

"I don't wanna get married," Rachel said.

"I know but would you wanna move in with me?"

"What?"

"I can talk to Joey or...I don't want...I wanna be there more….I wanna be there for you and our baby."

"But Ross, it's us. I mean...what's gonna happen after the baby is born or what if you date or I do...I just-I-isn't it going to be weird?"

"Maybe or maybe not. Joey knows everything that's going on because he's there and-and Monica and Chandler live across the hall and they know more. I wanna be there. We should be living together."

Ross wanted her answer to be yes. He knew she and Joey had gotten closer but Ross was the father of her child, not Joey.

"I'll break it to him," Rachel said.

"Okay….so it's a yes?" Ross asked, he would have to talk to Joey. He'd explain it to him. Rachel nodded as she leaned in and gave him a kiss before they continued to walk off. When they arrived back at Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler and Joey were playing video games and yelling at each other.

"No, no...you're-kill him," Chandler screamed at Joey.

"I can't get-" Joey said.

"You suck at all things," Chandler shot back.

"Suck my balls," Joey said.

"I'm married and don't have to do that to you anymore," Chandler said.

"Honey, that's a weird thing to say," Monica said from her spot on the couch next to Phoebe.

"Hey, guys," Rachel said, throwing her keys onto the counter as they tried to get everyone's attention.

"How was it?" Monica asked.

"Good, good….um, we found out the sex of the baby," Rachel said.

"Really?" Monica asked as she and Phoebe and got up and walked towards them. Joey and Chandler stopped playing and joined them as well. Rachel kept looking at Ross.

"You tell them," Ross said.

"We're having a girl and I'm moving in with Ross," Rachel said.

"What?" Joey asked. That last piece of news caused a silence to fall over the group.

"You're moving in together?" Monica asked.

"Well, I just….it's easier," Rachel said.

"Nothing for you two is easier," Phoebe said.

"True," Rachel said.

"You're moving out?" Joey asked.

"I'm sorry, Joey," Rachel said as she hugged him. "You understand, right? I mean-"

Ross noticed Joey looking rather sad about the news and he began to feel a little bad.

"Look, I wanna be there for Rachel. I wanna be there for the whole pregnancy. Everything I didn't get to see when Carol was pregnant. I want to be there this time," Ross said.

"I understand," Joey said.

"I think that's great," Monica said as she approached Ross to hug him. He was excited to have Rachel move in but he kept looking over at Joey who seemed genuinely upset about Rachel moving out.

Phoebe and Monica were hosting a baby shower for Rachel so Ross, Chandler and Joey went to go play. Joey had an audition later and Ross and Chandler went for support. The audition was for some game show and Chandler and Ross sat waiting with him as he read through his lines.

"I've never done hosting," Joey said said, "this is...I feel like I should be British."

"British?" Chandler asked.

"Why British?" Ross asked.

"Why not British. I mean, okay...how does this sound, 'okay, welcome to Bamboozled'", Joey tried in an accent that sounded more Jamaican than British.

"I wouldn't do that," Ross said.

"Yeah and on a related note, I'm so glad I spent all that money on that dialect coach for you. Money well spent," Chandler said.

"You paid for a dialect coach for him?" Ross asked. "You really are his Sugar Daddy."

"I know, right," Chandler said.

"He's not anymore," Joey said.

"Yeah, Mon made me stop," Chandler said.

"Good. Hey, Joe...I had wanted to ask, when Rach moved out, you seemed upset are-"

"I'm fine. I just lost a good roommate, it's all good," Joey said, seemingly not wanting to talk about it at all. Ross wanted to push more but Joey's name was called. As he got up, he turned to Ross and Chandler, "After this we'll go and I'll buy lunch for us," Joey finished.

"Yeah. twenty, thirty dollar lunch….that'll make us even," Chandler said.

"Bite me, Sugar Daddy," Joey said as he walked off towards another room to begin his audition.

"He's really never gonna pay you back, is he?" Ross asked.

"I've given up all hope," Chandler said. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm gonna be a dad. Again….I don't know."

"How are things with Rachel?"

"Great. I love that she's having my kid but...how-I want-you know, I always thought I would get married and have a couple kids. I did not think I would be divorced three times and now have two children from two different women."

"I didn't think I would ever be married. Things happen. You're living with her now so, maybe now it will happen?"

"I don't know. I don't know what we're doing. Part of me thinks maybe something should happen but if it doesn't work this time, now we're gonna have a child and...you know, sometimes I'm a little jealous of you and Monica."

"Really?"

"Don't tell Mon."

"Of course I will. You might be my brother in law, but I like her more than you."

"Okay well-"

"Why are you jealous?"

"You seem to work better that us. How do you two make it work and yet-"

"Your sister tells me what to do and I do it….sometimes... you and Rachel will get it together at some point. Maybe...look, Monica hasn't changed all that much since the day I met her. Rachel has so maybe you're getting to know a new person."

"Maybe," Ross said.

Ross let out a sigh as he leaned back against his chair. Chandler reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and began dialing.

"Who are you calling?" Ross asked.

"Monica," Chandler said.

"She's hosting Rachel's baby shower," Ross said.

"So? I wanna say hi. Don't judge me," Chandler joked, "hey, Mon."

Ross let out a laugh as Chandler got up and walked off to continue to talk to Monica. He kept thinking about Rachel. He wanted it to be easy with her. It upset him that it wasn't. What would it take for them to make it work? Chandler returned with a grin which Ross immediately knew…

"You told her already?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Of course."

"So how's the baby shower?" Ross asked.

"I do have gossip."

"What?"

"Okay...wait...do you know why Rachel was so pissed off about my prank with the peanut butter? You know that now, right? That she had-"

"An ab-yeah, I know. I had a feeling then too, it was the worst kept secret ever. Everyone knew," Ross said.

"I didn't know."

"Well, yeah….pretty much all of our friends knew. What's the secret?"

"Well, Amy paid for it...right?"

"Yeah."

"On their dad's credit card," Chandler said.

"Oh, she's an idiot," Ross said, "G-d, Rachel tried so hard to keep that a secret. I remember it very well and man, did she want you to die. She was pissed off at you."

"Hey, I didn't know," Chandler said.

"Didn't matter but I remember after she had done that and after we had spent the entire morning cleaning her car and she was sitting on the bench right in front of the comic book shop. I even remember what she was wearing. It was a big sweater and she looked so sad. She was drawing outfits and she said it was a dumb hobby but even then, it was good. It was this tiny little pad of paper. I sat next to her and she was about ready to cry. She wouldn't say anything. I asked about that and the car 'cause I mean, Chandler, I'm not joking when I say she was hysterics….I think at one point she said you had actually died because you were bitten by a rabid coyote-"

"Nice."

"Yeah, she was not happy but just looking at her with her eyes filled with tears, even then and she refused to even say a word even though everyone knew. Those rumors were pretty much everywhere. Everyone knew but she would not confirm it to anyone. So when I was saw she was about to cry again, I took her inside the comic book store. I told her that no one she knew would be in there so she went and-and she told me Batman needed more color in his wardrobe."

"No he doesn't. He's Batman."

"I know but she did say she liked Wonder Woman and I told her how Jonathan and I wrote comic books and I told her about Science Boy and Two Face. I didn't tell her who Two Face was supposed to be but I guess she kinda knew or figured it out. I remember her saying how she thought Science Boy and Two Face made a good team and we do. I do believe that we make an amazing team but I don't know why we can't….make it work."

"'Cause she's not Two Face anymore. Look, the whole point of Two Face was that she's mean and awful and snobby in public, she's so horrible that strangers from other schools in other counties will cover her car in peanut butter but privately and to the lucky few, she's sweet and kind and funny and pretty awesome….right?"

"Right."

"Well, she's not Two Face anymore. She's just….a face. Maybe you gotta change the character. She morphed into something else. Fashion Girl."

"That's a dumb name."

"Well, think of a better name….but she's not Two Face, she's something else."

"Yeah, she is," Ross said, letting that sink in. "She's definitely something else."

He let Chandler's words roll over in his head. She wasn't Two Face. Chandler was right. She was another character. She was Rachel. She was his teammate, his partner in crime.

He was still thinking about it when he got home that day, thinking more and more about Rachel and about his relationship with her. Feeling nostalgic, he pulled out all those old comics that he and Jonathan used to work on. They hadn't updated in quite some time. He hadn't updated anything in quite some time, Jonathan had drawn Two Face with long brown hair and a muscular build. She wore a blue leotard that said "TF" on it and a blue mask. Two Face was Science Boy's sidekick. Maybe she wasn't a sidekick, maybe she was so much more than that.

"Hey," Rachel said as she walked through the door.

She was very pregnant now as she slowly made her way to the couch and sat down beside him.

"How was the shower?"

"Good. I left a lot of stuff at Monica and Chandler's. Most stuff. Actually, everything. I figure you, Chandler and Joey will just bring stuff over later."

"Okay, then."

"What are you reading?"

"Adventures of Science Boy and Two Face," Ross said.

"Oh."

"Yeah, Chandler and I were talking. He told me that your sister paid for the ab-"

"Wow, that traveled quick. Yeah, Amy paid for it on our father's credit card. She's an idiot. The fact that my mother got that bill and not my dad….a miracle. My mom kept it a secret. Could you imagine if my father had found out?"

"He would have handled it….not well, but he would have handled it," Ross said.

"I can't...I just...I don't even….so what about Science Boy and Two Face?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler thinks we need to update Two Face."

"Really? To what?"

"I don't know. Something more special. Maybe Two Face drinks a cup of coffee laced with a potion or something and it changes her."

"How?"

"Something sweeter. She no longer has that mean exterior. She's kind and strong and believes in her friends even when they're struggling. She's amazing," Ross said.

"I like that. Can she have a lasso?" Rachel asked.

"Of course."

"Can I design her outfit?"

"Yes. We're gonna make this work."

"I hope so," Rachel said as she grabbed one of the comic books, "well, if we're gonna change up Two Face, before we do that, can she kill off rabid coyote funny boy….the comic. That's Chandler, right?"

"Yes. I think he was The Comic."

"I think my character would still like to kill him before she changes. I mean, he changes too into something better but before that happens, I want Two Face to kill him off," Rachel smirked which made Ross laugh.

"I thought you were now friends?"

"Yes, but maybe there's an epic battle between Two Face and Rabid Coyote Funny Boy and they kill each other off and rise from the ashes as better people. I'd read that."

He loved how into it she was getting. He immediately grabbed some paper began writing stuff down as she was shouting out ideas. She was definitely more than a sidekick, she was his better half.

Rachel was now nine months pregnant and in pain. He was spending much of his time watching her and taking care of her as she complained. Strangely enough, he was enjoying himself. He had missed all this with Carol and the whole point of Rachel moving in was so he could pay attention to her as she complained.

"I'm dying," Rachel groaned as she placed her feet on Ross and he gently began massaging her legs.

"You are not dying."

"Uh-huh. You don't know."

"I know."

"I'm going to explode."

"Then I'll get Mon to clean up."

"You know Joey has mob ties," Rachel said. She was being very cute for as much as she was complaining.

"I know," Ross said, wondering why she was telling him what they all knew.

"You know, Joey's sister had a hit on Chandler," Rachel grinned.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked. He stared at her, wondering this had happened.

"Yep. When Chandler slept with Joey's sister, she apparently got super pissed."

"Is this something you're not supposed to be telling me?" Ross asked, thinking this had to be something Joey had told her in confidence.

"Yeah. Don't tell Chandler."

"I won't," Ross said, truthfully. He would never tell Chandler and he would never tell Joey that Rachel told him that.

"I can't believe we're gonna be parents," Rachel said.

"Me neither."

"Am I gonna be a good mom?"

"You kidding? The best. She's gonna be gorgeous 'cause she'll take after you and she'll be a fashionista."

"A fashionista?" Rachel asked.

"I know words."

"Impressive."

"And she'll be very smart and popular. You know, straight A's and Homecoming Queen," Ross said.

"She'll be amazing. Beauty and brains."

"Perfection."

"Hmmm….but….okay, what about us?" Rachel asked.

"What about us?" Ross asked.

"Do you think there will ever be an us? Again?"

"I don't know. I hope so," Ross said. Ever since they had played around with the comic books and changing up Two Face and Science Boy, they had still just danced around the topic. Nothing was ever decided as if there was an unspoken fear or unspoken truth that they weren't quite ready to make that leap.

"Would you do that proposal?" Rachel asked.

Ross had revealed how he had imagined proposing to Rachel a few months earlier at his parents anniversary party. He had always imagined proposing at the planetarium at the Natural History museum and having the stars spell out, "will you marry me?" But over the years, things had changed.

"No."

"No?"

"I think it would be different. We have a daughter….so I'd probably get her involved. Maybe she could bring you the ring?"

"What is wrong with us? Why can we make us work?" Rachel asked.

"I ask myself that all the time."

"How come they make it work? Monica and Chandler? I mean, they work and….why can't we….I mean, fuck, even Joey and Phoebe work better than we do."

"I don't think so."

"You don't?"

"No. I mean, they're different. Different people, you know."

"Chandler never gets crazy jealous," Rachel said.

"Ask him what he thinks about Richard," Ross said, "and if he'd be okay with Monica ever being friends with him?"

"Okay, that is true….and he has addiction issues-"

"And she's nuts. I love her, she's my sister but she's nuts," Ross said. "And Phoebe and Joey? Please."

"You're not better than them," Rachel said.

"I didn't say I was."

"'Cause Joey knows people who can kill you."

"I know….you really think I'm that arrogant, don't you?"

"Uh-huh. It's just who you are. Arrogant and jealous."

"Hmmm, okay."

"What?" Rachel asked, giving him small grin. He really was beginning to hate that label, 'arrogant and jealous'. Did they all see him that way? Chandler had even called him out on it once. He'd called him out on it several times. He really wasn't sure he liked that label. He didn't like that she saw him that way. He wanted her to see him the way she used to see him.

He had decided to surprise her. He called her a few nights later and asked her to meet him at the Natural History Museum. Despite leaving under less than positive circumstances, he had still managed to keep those connections. He had managed to repair those bridges he had burned which was how he had managed to get Rachel in after hours. He took her to the planetarium and helped make her comfortable on a blanket. He turned on the stars and off the narration and plopped himself down next to her, handing her a juicebox.

"What is this?" Rachel asked.

"I don't like that you think I'm this arrogant, jealous…..asshat."

"Ross."

"No."

"Well, we are at your favorite place," she teased.

"Because I can legally get in here after hours. We could have done it at the mall but in order to do that, we'd have to break in and quite honestly, neither one of us would survive prison."

"True."

"But you still think I'm an asshat," Ross said.

"No, not always," Rachel said, "How did it start?"

"How did what start?" Ross asked, a little confused.

"Your crush on me. How did it start? You just woke up one morning and thought, 'whoa, that Rachel chick who eats Twinkies with my sister in the pantry is kinda hot?'" Rachel asked.

Ross let out a laugh as he remembered Monica and Rachel and their weird pantry sessions. They were always in there, eating Twinkies and no one else was allowed.

"How did you know? By the way, what did you two talk about in there? You were always in there," Ross said.

"Life. We called them our pantry sessions, even when we'd have those moments at the abandoned drive in when we could drive. They were pantry sessions, we were completely vulnerable and real with each other. I told her once that I didn't think you were ugly."

"Really. Well, that's sweet," Ross said, wondering for a moment if Rachel had liked him back.

"She thought it was gross."

"Of course."

"We also talked about how you got away with everything. You burnt down Monica's Easy Bake oven by putting the halogen lights in there and you let her take the fall. Admit it," Rachel said.

Ross loved that prank. In retrospect, it was amazing. He realized he had never mentioned that prank to Chandler and made a mental note to do so.

"I'll admit it. You have to admit now that it was an awesome prank," Ross smiled.

"Well, that's why I put dental floss and honey and stuff in your desk at school. Revenge."

"You showed me….but was it not the best prank? Was it better than Chandler's?"

"Well, Chandler's prank was because he was pissed off and….okay, okay, yes, your prank was awesome," Rachel reluctantly admitted.

"I know and well to answer your question as to when I fell in love with you. Monica's Bat Mitzvah. Dancing with you. The song, "I've Been Waiting for a Girl Like You" was playing and you asked me to dance and I knew you either made a bet or lost one but you told me the truth and I kinda knew, dancing with you….you weren't who you were trying to be. You could've said nothing. You could've kept the money. But you let me in on the bet and gave me half. You didn't need to do that."

"Of course I did."

"I'm sure there are girls that wouldn't have. The fact that you did, the fact that you even told me that as soon as the song ended you would have to act disgusted as soon as we finished….it proved that you had a heart, that you weren't this awful girl. I felt for you. I felt sad for you, that you felt you needed to put on this act and I was happy that I….that well, Monica and I….got to see who you really were and I love being with you whether we're together or not. I've loved watching you become exactly who you want to become. I love you, Rach."

Ross noticed tears fill Rachel's eyes as they leaned in to kiss. As he got up, he helped pull her up. He wrapped his arms around her, although with her stomach being as big as it currently was, they couldn't get that close.

"Dance with me, Geller," Rachel whispered.

They slowly began swaying from side to side and in his head even though there was no music. He could hear the Foreigners lyrics in his head. "I've been looking too hard, I've waited too long…..I've been waiting for a girl like you…." He leaned close towards her and they kissed. He loved her. He had always loved her. She was always it for him. Carol, Emily, Julie, they would never hold a candle to Rachel. She was his happy ending. Suddenly, Rachel stopped kissing him and backed up. She let out a gasp as she looked at him. He noticed it too.

"My water broke."

"It did," Ross said, looking down and back up at her.

"Oh my G-d…..it's time. It's happening."

"Yeah. It's happening."

"I'm scared."

"You'll be fine. You're the strongest person I know."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They shared a kiss before grabbing each other's hands and slowly walking out of the planetarium. Ross hailed a cab and soon they were off to the hospital. Ross immediately called his sister to let her know what was going on and to get everything ready. Ross and Rachel were about to become parents.


	52. Chapter 52

May 2002

He was listening to his mother ramble on while Rachel was in the delivery room being comforted by Phoebe and Monica. Judy had wanted to talk to Ross privately and Jack would be joining them later but Judy had important information. She wanted Ross to propose. She was holding his grandmother's ring and giving it to him. He was protesting, really not wanting to deal with this. He didn't want to be forced into proposing. He certainly didn't want his mother to do the forcing.

"Mom, come on I-"

"No, Ross. This is absurd. You've been married and divorced to Rachel, you're having a child with her and now you're living with. Clearly, you want to be with her. I don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand."

"Are you going to get married? Again?"

"I don't know….maybe one day. You know….why don't you give this ring to Monica? Maybe she'd like it," Ross said.

"She's already married," Judy said. "And you know what, you might want to ask her for tips on how to remain married...to one person."

"I'm not-hey, why didn't you give this to Monica when she did get married?"

"Chandler bought her a ring," Judy said.

"How do you know I haven't bought Rachel a ring?"

"Ross, look….you've loved Rachel for a long time. You know how this will end up."

"No, mom...we were together and then it didn't work and I don't want-I can't do it again. Now we're gonna have a kid and-"

"What are you afraid of?"

"If I lost her…."

"Take the ring," Judy said.

"You know, I remember a time where you didn't like Rachel...or Chandler."

"I changed my mind. Chandler is a fantastic son-in-law and Rachel would make a lovely daughter-in-law and to be very honest, there have been many times where I'd actually prefer the two of them over you and your sister. Take the ring."

Ross let out an annoyed sigh as he took the ring and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. Judy just smiled at him. He was getting annoyed by everyone trying to give their input. He and Rachel would go at their own pace. They would figure it out without opinions.

He turned and walked back into the hospital room as Phoebe and Monica were standing over Rachel, making sure she was comfortable.

"You okay?" Monica asked, as Ross walked towards them.

"Yeah, just mom is driving me nuts. Can you take care of her?" Ross asked.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Please?" Ross asked.

"Fine, come on, Pheebs," Monica said.

"She's not my mom," Phoebe said.

"Yeah, but I could always use the help and we'll go find Chandler. Apparently, now she finds him hilarious," Monica said as she and Phoebe walked out of the room, leaving Rachel and Ross alone.

"You feeling okay?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, what did Judy want?" Rachel asked.

"Don't worry about it. We're gonna be parents."

"Well, you're already a parent. Oh, G-d….Ross, I'm gonna be someone's mother. How the hell do I...what? I can't…."

"Yes, you can. Are you kidding me? You can do anything. You're Two Face."

"Didn't we change her?"

"We never changed the name….but you can do anything. You can do this. You really can. You are going to be the best mom ever," Ross said.

"Don't leave."

"I'm not."

"I'm really scared."

"I know."

"What if I mess up and then...and I keep thinking about the...the abortion. I gave that up and that's not fair to….I know I sound insane. I never got attached to that baby...I-I didn't even give that baby a name or even think about it...it was just a doctor's appointment...it sounds horrible but-it wasn't like Phoebe giving up the triplets or-I didn't even have any emotional attachment and it was almost sixteen years ago. I don't talk about it or anything and right now...it's all I can think about it. I gave that up and...I sound like a crazy person."

"You don't sound insane, Rach," Ross said, sitting on her bed as she cried. "You wouldn't have-no, would you have been ready at sixteen?"

"No, no….not at all."

"So...maybe this is the baby you were supposed to have at sixteen and you didn't really terminate it, you just….told her to come back later when you were ready," Ross tried.

"I don't know if that makes sense….especially since Chip was the father of the first one," Rachel said.

"I'm trying."

"I know. I pushed that so far down, Ross. You know I did. I cheered at a game two weeks after that happened. I went to the doctor and treated it like something I gotta get done. That baby would be fifteen, sixteen years old."

"I know you pushed it down. I know it was rough and must have been really traumatic. I wish you had been able to confide in me or Monica. You know we would've been there but I'm here now and I'm not leaving you. I'm in this, you and me...right? You've got this and we've been through so much already and we will keep going through it until we get it right. I love you. I just do, you are….you," Ross said.

"Kiss me."

Ross nodded as the two shared a kiss. He did not leave her side. It was a long labor, a long wait period but he still would not leave her side. When she finally went into labor about forty hours after she arrived in the hospital, he still did not leave her side. He kept encouraging, kept telling her to push even while she kept screaming.

"I can't do this," she cried, as Ross held her hand.

"You can do anything."

"I can't, can't."

"Hey, come on Green….you're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. Shut up," she said, angrily.

"Okay….yes you are," Ross said.

"You're ugly," Rachel said.

"I know, yes you are."

"I hate you. Dumbass," Rachel groaned.

Ross laughed as he kept encouraging her while she kept insulting him. It felt like forever but when that moment came, when she did that final push, the waiting was over. He heard his brand new baby girl crying and looked gorgeous. They cleaned her up and moved Rachel to a private room. When they finally handed the tiny little newborn to Rachel, neither one could stop crying. They had created the most perfect combination of themselves. Ross and Rachel shared another kiss as they held their newborn child.

"Look what we did," Rachel said.

"She's gorgeous," Ross said.

"We need to name her."

"I know."

"Oh, G-d….I'm someone's mom," Rachel cried.

"She's the luckiest girl in the world," Ross said.

"With parents like us."

"We will figure it out."

"I hope so."

"Hey," Monica knocked at the door as Rachel and Ross looked up towards the door, "can we come in?"

"Yeah," Rachel said as the others walked in and surrounded them.

"She looks so beautiful. Ross, you sure this kid is yours," Joey teased. Ross let out a laugh.

"What's her name?" Phoebe asked.

"We still don't know. I don't know….Ross, what are we going to do?" Rachel asked. "I wanted Brian for a boy but we never landed on a girl's name."

"You'll think of something," Monica said.

"Easy for you to say, you've had your kids names picked out when you were like four," Ross said. He remembered Monica at four years old, announcing at the dinner table the names she had picked out for her future children.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah….I told you," Monica said.

"I don't remember," Rachel said.

Monica let out a sigh as she looked at Chandler and back at Rachel, "for a girl...I had wanted the name, Emma."

"Oh," Rachel said as she looked down at the baby. Ross looked at Rachel and then back at Monica. Ross knew the wheels were turning in Rachel's head. Emma sounded like a beautiful name.

"Take it," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"She's clearly an Emma," Monica said.

"But you love that name," Rachel said.

"I love you more," Monica said, Ross gently squeezed his sister's shoulders to thank her.

"Thank you, Mon," Rachel said.

"So…..everyone meet, Emma Green," Ross said.

"No, Ross….Emma Geller-Green," Rachel said, giving him a look. That made his heart swell. He had not been sure what his daughter's last name would be. They had never really discussed it.

"Thank you," Ross whispered.

"Can we hold her?" Joey asked. Rachel nodded and Ross took Emma from Rachel and handed her to Joey. Ross watched as the little girl was passed along, from Joey to Monica to Phoebe and finally, Chandler. Each friend taking their moment with her.

"Hey, little Emma. I'm your Uncle Chandler. I will be the best uncle ever. I swear...when your parents and aunt Monica drive you nuts, you find me, kid."

"Oh, G-d...our child is gonna cover our cars with peanut butter," Rachel grinned.

"No, no...I'll start her off small. Little pranks. Like whoopie cushions and stuff. The big pranks will come later," Chandler said, shaking his head.

"She'll be lucky," Rachel said.

"You're gonna be a great uncle," Phoebe said.

"And a fantastic father," Monica said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

This was new, as well. That had been something Ross had always wondered about. He knew Chandler never wanted kids and Monica of course did. Chandler wanting kids was a new development. It struck him that once again his friend was completely changing from the person Ross once knew.

"Yeah...Mon and I are gonna start trying," Chandler said, "we're gonna give you a cousin, Emma...she's beautiful, Rach. Oh and Emma, we going to have to start watching movies...soon. No niece of mine is going to grow up without knowing Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton."

"Monica's right. You're gonna be an amazing father, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Thanks. Wow, she's gorgeous. Thank G-d, she only takes after Rachel," Chandler grinned as he gently handed Emma back to Rachel. Ross kept staring back at Emma. He was now a father for the second time.

Ross hadn't even seen Carol walk into the hospital. he had taken a break to get a soda and some candy. He had barely eaten or had anything to drink in hours. When he returned to Rachel's room, he noticed Carol and Rachel staring at Ben holding Emma in his arms. He took off his jacket and placed his soda, candy bar and jacket on the chair as he approached the two women and wrapped his arms around both. Both Rachel and Carol smiled at him as he gave them each a kiss. He loved watching Ben holding Emma and he loved Carol and Rachel. Despite the dramas and difficulties with both, they were both responsible for giving him two of the greatest gifts he had ever gotten. Because of them, he got to be a father.

"You two need to figure it out," Carol whispered.

"Yeah, that we do," Rachel said.

"Thank you," Ross said, "both of you….thank you. For giving me them. They're perfect."

Rachel kissed him again as they continued to watch. They would deal with the reality of everything later, but now, that moment was theirs.

It was a break. He went to the commissary to grab something to eat when he noticed Monica and Chandler sitting together, chatting. He grabbed a sandwich and coffee and joined them at the table.

"So you want children," Ross said, looking at Chandler.

"I know. How crazy is that? I want kids. Dumb," Chandler said.

"Why is it dumb?" Monica asked.

"I am...I'm gonna be a horrible father," Chandler said.

"No, I think I'm a horrible father," Ross said.

"Okay, first….Chandler you won't be a horrible dad, you will be an amazing dad. I will make sure of it. I have worked very hard up to this point on making you a viable human being and I know that I can carry you the rest of the way-"

"Thank you, sweetie," Chandler said as Monica let out a giggle.

"And Ross, you are not a horrible dad. Who said that you were horrible?" Monica asked.

"I have two children from two different women. I barely see Ben and...I really, I always thought I would be good at this and….I don't know. You know, mom gave me nana's engagement ring to give to Rachel."

"Why didn't she give it to me when I got engaged?" Monica asked.

"'Cause Chandler bought you a ring? Beats me….but-" Ross said.

"Well, are you gonna give it to her?" Chandler asked.

"You should give it to me," Monica muttered.

"I'll get you another ring," Chandler said.

"I want that one," Monica said.

"What if I give you a child?" Chandler asked.

"That's fine….still want the ring," Monica said.

"What if I give it to you?" Ross asked.

"Creepy," Monica said.

"Alright, I'll give it to Chandler to give to you," Ross said.

"Possibly. Wait, are you thinking of giving the ring to Rachel?" Monica asked.

"Wait, you're gonna let Rachel take your grandmother's ring and the name you had picked out for our future daughter?" Chandler asked.

"It's like sometimes I like her more than you," Monica grinned.

"Funny, that's how I feel about Joey," Chandler said.

"You two are obnoxious," Ross said.

"I thought you were jealous," Chandler said.

"Yeah, that's right. You're jealous of Chandler and I. 'Cause we're awesome," Monica said as she and Chandler high fived each other. Ross just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm not giving you the ring," Ross said.

"Well, are you gonna give it to Rachel?" Monica asked.

"I don't know. We've gotten really close and maybe we could try again. Maybe...we have a kid now you know and maybe….it's time. It would be amazing to be a family. It's what I wanted with Carol. You know, I'm gonna go talk to her," Ross said as he got up, leaving his sandwich and soda. He walked out of the commissary and up towards Rachel's room. They would start again. That's what would happen. They were in different spots now, they were better, they were ready. They would make it work. He would give the ring to Rachel. It belonged to her.

As he walked into the room, he stopped, stunned. What was happening? Rachel was laying in bed, covering her mouth and there was Joey on his knees with the ring. It looked like he was proposing to Rachel. Had he missed something? Were Rachel and Joey dating? Rachel was staring at Joey. Ross almost fell back when he heard Rachel say 'yes'. Joey and Rachel were engaged? He wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel in that moment.

"Excuse me?" Ross asked. Rachel and Joey both looked at Ross, stunned as well.

"What….oh, Rach-I-" Joey kept stuttering.

"What are you doing?" Ross asked.

"Ross," Rachel said.

"Did you just propose?" Ross asked.

"No, no," Joey said, standing up but still holding onto the ring.

"You just proposed," Rachel said.

"No, I didn't."

"But-" Rachel said.

"No, Ross is proposing," Joey said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"What? I'm not proposing," Ross said. "You just….and Rach, you just said yes?"

"No, no….no….I-I'm gonna go," Joey said, walking towards Ross, handing him the ring before walking off. Ross looked at Rachel and back down of the ring. He heard Oprah from the television. She was talking to some random guest. He had no clue. What was going on?

"You and Joey are getting married?" Ross asked.

"No, no...don't be ridiculous."

"You just said yes," Ross said.

"I-I-I don't know. I'm tired and he was there with a ring and-I'm-I don't know….were you going to propose."

"No," Ross said.

"So, you just carry around rings just in case the mood strikes you?" Rachel asked.

"No."

"Ross, why do you have a ring?"

"Why did you say yes to Joey?"

"You first."

"You said yes."

"It was….I-why do you have a ring? Rachel asked. "Were you going to ask me to marry you?"

"No," Ross said.

"Okay?" Rachel was very confused.

"Okay….I thought about proposing. I wanted to propose...I want-well, do you wanna marry me?" Ross asked. He thought of the ring in the safe. Now he seemed to have a collection of engagement rings.

"No."

"'Cause you're married to Joey?"

"No….I'm...okay you had a ring in your pocket. Joey dropped it on the ground and I'm tired and I'm trying to absorb a lot of information. I said yes because I just did….I don't love Joey. It meant nothing…..but you proposing would mean something and you're proposing because we had a baby and we live together but still haven't fixed us and I want to fix us Ross. I want to make us work before we get married….again. Don't you see? I love you so much and if we get divorced….again….I won't be able to blame it on being drunk in Vegas. I want us to work."

"I understand. You don't love Joey?"

"Did you hear what I just said?" Rachel asked.

"Yes. I did. Well, how about this," Ross said, handing her the ring, "hold on to it. When you are ready, when you think we're ready, give it back to me and I'll take care of the rest."

Rachel took the ring and stared at it as she began to cry again. Ross held her as she kept crying. He kept kissing her as Oprah kept talking.

"Wait, Ross...this isn't the ring we bought," Rachel said.

"No, that ring is in my safe. This...my mom gave me. It's my nana's."

"Why didn't she give it to Monica?"

"I don't know but do you want Monica to have this one and I'll return the other one?" Ross asked.

"No, no...maybe we both have one and when we're ready….you know what? I don't know anymore," Rachel said, starting to cry again. "This is just so messed up. I mean, you have Ben and you have Emma and don't know how to do any of this and I don't wanna do this alone and I'm so, so terrified Ross. You have no idea. I want to nap and shower and….I'm do...I'm crying too much."

"No you're not. I am not leaving you. We have two engagement rings because of course we do. You are not going to be alone."

"Okay."

"You're gonna marry Joey," Ross said, wanting to make her smile. She gave him a look, "because you and I will be on a break and-"

"Shut up. It meant nothing with Joey. It's always gonna be you. I'm always gonna choose you," Rachel said.

"Right back at you," Ross said as the two shared yet another kiss.

He continued comforting her as she cried. They remained side by side, not sure where to go next but knowing they would have to figure it out, together.


	53. Chapter 53

**May 2002-December 2002**  
So Chandler was moving to Tulsa. That was the new piece of information that he was finding out. Chandler had a meeting and accidently transferred himself to Tulsa so after that incident where Joey proposed to Rachel, he didn't have Chandler there to complain. He had Monica and he had a lot to complain to Monica about. After all, Monica also knew about his relationship with Lizzie. He knew Lizzie lived in Tulsa and he was worried if Lizzie would end up telling Chandler about their relationship.

"I have not told Chandler that you and Lizzie were friends with benefits, I haven't mentioned that you kept in touch with her or fell out of touch or…" Monica said over lunch a few days after Chandler had been transferred. They were celebrating Monica's new job at Javu's. She was head chef there.

"You think Liz will tell him?"

"I don't know. I don't think he'll talk to her. I don't talk to Richard and he doesn't talk to Lizzie. We find it helps maintain marital harmony when we don't speak to the two people we were convinced we were gonna marry before we married each other," Monica said.

"Very true."

"Although, it's stupid he's in Tulsa. He hates his job. This was a temporary thing to get him out of his mother's house. This was never supposed to be permanent. I want him to quit and..and how does he think we're gonna have kids if he works in a different state," Monica said. "And also….okay, don't get mad but...okay, he's been clean and sober for fifteen almost sixteen months and-"

"He's not gonna fall off the wagon, Mon."

"How do you know?"

"I trust him."

"He fell off three times."

"He wasn't ready. I trust him this time. You have to trust him, too," Ross said. He knew his sister was still protective. She would always be protective of Chandler, but she needed to unclench. "Besides, Mon...if he really does fall off the wagon, Oklahoma or New York...he's good at hiding it. It doesn't matter where he is. I trust him this time. I really don't think he'll fall. You saw how scared he got that last time. He's not gonna fuck it up."

"It scares me."

"I know….and I'm scared that Joey's gonna marry Rachel," Ross said, hoping that was a smooth enough transition. Monica shook her head.

"No, he's not. You know what, you have to go talk to Joey. Okay? Chandler's not here. You two only have each other."

"He likes Rachel though, doesn't he? How did-when-"

"Talk to Joey."

Ross nodded as he thought about what had been happening. They had recently brought Emma home and Ross kept thinking about Joey. He would need to talk to his friend. After lunch with Monica, he went back and taught a few classes and called Joey to meet for drinks. He had even suggested Umbertos but instead chose Pub 2, Chandler's old haunt.

"Thanks for not choosing Umbertos?" Ross offered, after all that was the mob restaurant.

"Wasn't gonna do that. Look, Ross about the proposing to Rach-"

"Do you like Rachel? I mean...when she moved in with me, you were upset and-and then-"

"I-it's not important."

"Yes, it is."

"Okay...yes, I did like her. I did….I don't know….I developed feelings but it didn't matter. She didn't feel them back."

"You told her?"

"Yeah. It-she-look-it just happened and it shouldn't have and it's over. You mean too much to me and honestly, until Chandler gets his ass back from Tulsa, you're all I got."

"Same to you. Wait, does Chandler know?"

"He does. But I didn't want him to tell you. I didn't want Rachel to tell you. It was a crush and-but the proposal...it meant nothing. She would've married anyone. She was crying, she was upset, it really could have been anyone."

"Not sure that makes me feel better."

"Come on, you and I both know how this will end up."

"But I don't know how this will end up. We keep talking about the same the things over and over but I don't know if it will end up that way," Ross said.

"It will."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause….it just will. You had a kid with her, you married her-"

"I divorced her."

"That was on you."

"I had...we say the same things. It's the same story. It's getting….old."

"I know and I'm really sorry about the hospital, about all of it and...just don't tell Rachel. It-I'm sorry."

"It's okay. So I guess you and I are gonna have to hang out more," Ross said.

"I'm good with that."

"Me too," Ross said as they ordered more drinks and slowly began talking. It was hard to grasp, that Joey had liked Rachel but nothing had come of it so maybe it was okay. Maybe it was just a moment.

Chandler was now going back and forth between New York and Tulsa and Ross and Joey were becoming closer friends. Rachel was on maternity leave and she was spending much of the day with Emma. He didn't say anything to Rachel about what Joey had said. He hadn't even mentioned anything to Chandler when they spoke on the phone. Those first five months of Emma's birth they fell into a routine. He would go to work and then come home to see Rachel and Emma. It felt strangely like they were a family and by October, with his thirty third birthday around the corner, he was starting to wonder if they could make that leap to being an official family. He just wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"Hey, Rach," Ross said as he walked in the door after a long day of teaching.

Rachel was sitting at the computer, staring when she jumped at the sound of his voice. He laughed as she looked outside. It was fall now, the days were getting shorter and she seemed stunned that it was now officially dark.

"Hey….what are you….what-"

"The day is over," Ross said.

"Oh my G-d."

"Have you been on the computer all day?"

"Part of it. Researching Joey."

"Getting ready for your wedding?" Ross asked, teasing. Sure he was no longer mad but still he couldn't pass up the opportunity to mock her a little bit.

"It's been five months, let it go."

"We were on a break," Ross grinned as he walked up behind Rachel and gently began massaging her shoulders.

"And you wonder why I would say yes to Joey," Rachel mused.

"I don't wonder. He's sexy."

"I'm glad you're getting along better."

"Yeah, well...with Chandler in Tulsa, neither one of us have anyone else to play with," Ross mused, "are you thinking of joining the mob?"

He noticed what she was looking at on the computer. She was looking up what appeared to be a website of members of the mob.

"No. Ross….Joey's cousin is Christopher Moltisanti. Tony Soprano's nephew and when I was in the hospital, I was watching Oprah and Brian's boyfriend was on it talking about how Brian bought the drugs he used to kill himself from Christopher. Brian died in the summer of 1993, a couple months before Joey moved in with Chandler. Joey was staying with Christopher when Brian bought the drugs."

"Are you serious?" Ross asked. He had met Christopher. Christopher was the one at Umbertos who wanted Joey to do a job. Was that the job? Couldn't have been to kill Brian's boyfriend?

"Yeah….Joey told me and now Brian's boyfriend is dead and…..wow…." Rachel said as she got up and walked towards Emma's crib where she was starting to get a little fussy. Ross sat down at the seat Rachel had vacated. He stared at the computer as Rachel walked towards him, rocking Emma back and forth. Ross kept staring at the computer, reading. He remembered dinner at Umbertos but Joey had barely told him anything. It seemed like he was looking into a part of his friend he never knew existed.

"Wow….maybe you could marry him. You'd be mafia wife," Ross mused as Rachel walked towards him.

"I'm not marrying him, jackass, but it gives an insight into Joey. He does hide a lot from his past, you know? Think about it. Obviously, you, Mon and I know everything about each other but the other three? Chandler, Phoebe and Joey…..we know everything about Chandler's past, everything about Phoebe's past….what about Joey?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Ross said as Rachel handed Emma to Ross. She grabbed and chair and pulled it up next to Ross as they continued to play internet detectives. They kept searching and searching, trying to find out more information and it was becoming more and more fun. They laughed and it felt so easy, like how they used to be but now they were definitely a family.

For his birthday, Chandler was back in town and Monica made a dinner for all of them, but this time it included Ben, Carol, Susan and of course Emma. He had also included Jonathan and Sam. It felt almost funny to him. He had spent so many birthdays having it be two separate parties but now it was everyone together. It cracked him up to hear Rachel pitching comic book ideas to Jonathan and he loved watching Ben play with Emma. Everything seemed to be falling into place, with the only issue being Chandler going back and forth to Tulsa. His birthday was fairly uneventful and Halloween was even better. Rachel and Ross had dressed Emma up as Raggedy Ann and they had taken Ben trick or treating. He kept wondering, as 2002 wound down, if it would be possible that they could start 2003 as a couple. He began looking at the ring in the safe. He began imagining the marriage proposal. Maybe he and Rachel were at the spot where he could propose?

Ross had been working on lesson plans a few days after Halloween. He was trying to focus but it was difficult. His gaze kept going towards Monica and Chandler's apartment. He kept thinking about the last six months. He had to remind himself to stay focused but it was difficult. By the time Emma and Rachel returned, he silently cursed himself for how little he had actually accomplished.

"How was girl's night?" Ross asked as Rachel handed Emma to him and she pulled up a chair.

"Fun. What did you do?"

"Lesson plans," Ross said.

"Sounds exciting."

"You have no idea. "

"So Chandler had dinner with Lizzie in Tulsa," Rachel said, pretty bluntly. Ross looked at her. He had done what?

"Really? So do I have to kill him?" Ross asked. Rachel let out a snort and shook her head as she looked at him.

"Chandler? Really? He's not Joey…..or you," Rachel said.

"We were on a break."

"I'm going to punch you in the head."

"So he had dinner with Lizzie," Ross said, ignoring the fact that his heart started beating faster. What did Lizzie say? Did Lizzie mention him? Yeah, it was dumb of him to think that Chandler would ever cheat on his sister but it was the fact they had dinner. What had happened?

"Yes and you probably know more about the Lizzie and Chandler story than I do-"

"She cheated on him and they broke up….and he said 'I love you' and she responded with 'oh crap'. It's my favorite part of the story," Ross said, grinning from ear to ear. Everyone knew that part of the story. It had been repeated over and over, but it was still fun to repeat. He always got a kick out of restating it. She had said, 'oh crap'.

"You boys are always so sweet to each other."

"I know, right," Ross said. "But you weren't there, he put her through a lot."

"Was he really that bad of a boyfriend?"

He had told Rachel a lot about how awful Chandler was to Lizzie. He wondered if she had trouble believing it.

"He had a big sense of entitlement back then. Like he felt everyone owed him something. He's gotten over that, but he-she took care of him even more than I did. He was kind of an ass. Still hysterically funny, but still an ass."

"Wow. Anyway, Lizzie had a kid with the guy she cheated on Chandler with," Rachel said which Ross knew, "She tried to call the guy when she got knocked up, but he never called back, turns out...the guy was Joey Tribbiani."

"Are you kidding me?" Ross asked, his eyes widening. He knew Lauren's dad was whomever Lizzie had hooked up with during that summer. He knew the father had never returned her calls. The father was Joey?

"Joey's a father," Rachel said.

"When-when-"

"When you and Chandler were in Israel apparently and she dated a guy in her acting class."

He knew that but there were still so many unanswered questions. He knew when Lizzie had dated the guy but it was Joey? He was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing. It was unbelievable.

"Wow, I feel like I'm uncovering so much about Joey Tribbiani," Ross said.

"I know."

"Joey has no clue."

"None and when Chandler comes back from Tulsa, he and Monica are having a double date with Joey and Lizzie and…."

"Can we come?" Ross asked, even though he knew that would be the worst idea ever. Although there was an evil side of him that just wanted to watch.

"I didn't ask."

"Why not?"

"I should've….although, least dramatic couple of the moment," Rachel said, motioning to herself and Ross. He laughed as the two high fived each other.

"Go us."

"I like living with you Ross. It's fun. It's easier than I thought."

"Yeah, I know. Even though you love Joey more," Ross said.

"I think I need to start smacking you around more," Rachel mused as she picked Emma up off Ross' lap and placed her in her crib. She soon felt Ross' arms around her waist as he leaned into her ear. He was feeling a little horny with her. Something had come over him, he wanted Rachel so intensely in that moment. He wanted every single part of him.

"We were on a break," Ross whispered.

"You weren't spanked enough as a child," Rachel muttered as Ross kissed her neck. She turned to look at Ross.

"Someone's horny," Rachel said.

"You've amazed me these last six months. You are incredible."

"Thank you," Rachel said, melting under his intense gaze. It was true. She had amazed him more than she could possibly know. He loved being near her, around her, loved that she had given him Emma.

"See, I told you that you'd be an amazing mom. You are unbelievable."

"Thank you."

"Do you…." Ross said, motioning towards his bedroom. "Well, we've been on a very long break." She smiled and grabbed Ross' hand and pulled him into his room. They looked at each other and moved into

She smiled and grabbed Ross' hand and pulled him into his room. They looked at each other and moved into kiss each other deeply. That heat would never leave them. It would always overtake them, no matter what.

"Say we weren't on a break," Rachel whispered.

"Never."

"We weren't on a break."

"We were," Ross said as she gently smacked his bottom. "We were on a break." To which she spanked him again.

"We were not on a break," she said as she sat on the bed and grabbed his hand. He lay across her lap as he once again told her they were on a break and she kept spanking him. Each time he said they were on a break, she'd spank him more. He let out a loud moan and she kept on.

Soon, he sat up and gently pushed her on the bed. The two continued to kiss and tear at each other. It had been so long that the familiar heat between them took them over. He loved those moments. It felt easy, comfortable and when they were done, they lay side by side, holding each other but saying nothing. He wanted to stay like that forever.

"You know, you may have to tell them," Rachel said as they lay side by side, "you have to tell Chandler that you and Liz hooked up and-and-"

"I can't," Ross said, wondering why she was thinking of this now.

"Why not? You know, I have never said anything and neither has Monica and-and-you told Chandler I hooked up with his dad but I still didn't say anything."

"I can't but…." Ross said, suddenly remembering something else. "I think I know something else."

"What?"

"You cannot tell Joey this."

"What?" Rachel asked.

"There might be another reason that Lizzie stopped trying to reach out to Joey. I don't-apparently, she called a lot and Joey told his buddies to take care of it and get her to stop calling. Now, I don't know if he meant for them to take care of it the way they did but they took care of it."

"How?" Rachel asked.

"Gunpoint," Ross said.

"What?" Rachel asked, sitting up.

"Apparently, Shane and a few others….I don't know who….came to her dorm and told her not to contact Joey and they used guns. I don't know if he wanted them to do it that way."

"Oh my G-d."

"Yeah and Liz would never tell me anything but a lot of stuff is making sense. Once, we went to Central Perk….when it was a bar….and she refused to go in. I thought it was because she saw Chandler, looking back...I think it was because she saw Joey. I think she was scared of him. Lauren would ask me questions about her dad and I would say he was on adventures and I promised I wouldn't abandon her which I did-"

"Ross."

"I never gave them my updated info."

"You can get that from Chandler."

"I can't tell him."

"Why not? Enough time has passed….Chandler's married. Clearly, he's over her-"

"Because he hurt her. Bad and it would hurt him to know that I lied to him and kept up….you saw how he reacted to me kissing his mom or hooking up with his dad."

"That's a little different."

"It's...she didn't want anything to do with him."

"You may need to talk to Joey. Come on, you have to discuss it with Joey. Okay, you watched his kid grow up. Don't you have pictures?"

"I do. I took her trick or treating and went to her birthdays and-"

"You have two kids, if you knew that some other guy had been a parent to Ben or Emma without you knowing or because you didn't know…..wouldn't you want know? Wouldn't you want to see pictures? At least tell Joey. He deserves to know."

"I guess. I loved that kid. She was so sweet and you know, as she got older...there were things that seemed familiar. She had that grin...that lopsided one. It never even occurred to me that it was Joey and she never shared her food. Halloween candy? She would not give me anything. She wanted to marry Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Carol and I want her to marry Ben."

"You need to tell Joey."

"Yeah, I do."

It was a conversation he was dreading. He still did not want to tell Chandler anything but Rachel was right. He could not keep hiding it from Joey. A few days after Joey found out about Lauren and Lizzie, Ross found all the pictures he had from the time he hung out with Lauren and brought them next door. Joey was sitting in his chair staring at the television which was off. Ross walked into the apartment and Joey turned around. He dropped the photos in Joey's lap. Joey picked them up and stared at them and back at Ross as he sat on one of the stools.

"What are these?" Joey asked.

"Your daughter. From a year old until about eight, before she moved to Tulsa. I did not know you were the father and I was the father figure."

"What?" Joey asked.

"You cannot tell Chandler any of this. I...after Chandler and Lizzie broke up, I was still friends with her and I watched Lauren grow up and-and Liz and I were...especially after Carol and I divorced. It stopped when I started dating Julie but in those years between Carol and Julie, we were friends-with-benefits."

"Holy crap..we were friends and-"

"I know and I had two separate lives for many years. Lizzie wanted nothing to do with Chandler and did not want to even be in the same room as him and...she never said your name. Never mentioned your name. All she told me was that she had called you a lot, you didn't return the calls and then you told some of your mob friends to take care of it," Ross said.

"I did not mean for them to take care of it like that," Joey said, rather matter of factly. "I did not know they did...all I wanted was for her to stop calling."

"They held her at gunpoint, Joe."

"I know. I know….she told me when we had dinner and-why can't we tell Chandler that-they had dinner and she didn't say anything about you and she didn't mention you."

"'Cause it'll hurt him. A lot….he-before my sister, he was convinced he was going to marry Lizzie and...he...he fucked up but…."

"She never mentioned she had a boyfriend."

"I know."

"You-you-" Joey said as he picked up the pictures and began looking through them, "you took her trick or treating?"

"I did and I went to her birthday parties."

"What was she like?" Joey asked.

"Pretty awesome kid, actually. She-she has your mannerisms. Apparently she grins like you….she doesn't share food. She would never share her Halloween candy."

"Why should she? It's her candy, she earned it….we've had this conversation before, haven't we?"

"Yeah, we have but I still didn't know. Joey, I did not know you were the dad."

"I know. I won't tell Chandler. You should probably tell him though."

"I will. Monica and Rachel know and don't tell Phoebe, please. Just…I lied a lot to him."

"Yeah. She's cute. Wow….I have a child. Man….can I keep these pictures?" Joey asked.

"You can. What the hell happened?" Ross asked.

"She was a girl that I met in my acting class and….she never mentioned a boyfriend. It just happened and I liked her but I cut off contact after the summer. I had wanted it to be a summer fling. I ended up moving to Los Angeles and she kept calling and calling and I kept getting calls from Shane saying this girl won't stop calling you and I just assumed it was some psycho and when I said take care of it, I did not mean at gunpoint. I was out of that world, Shane wanted to be in it and I'm pretty sure Christopher sold Shane drugs which caused him to overdose and die and Christopher also sold drugs to Rachel's friend Brian….whom we know died. Please believe me that I did not want part of that world. Why do you think I moved in with Chandler knowing full well I couldn't afford this place," Joey stressed. "'Cause when Brian was found dead in his apartment-"

"By Rachel."

"I know but I put it together that Brian got the drugs from Christopher, I didn't know Rachel...but why-I had to get out of there and I-I-it makes me sick to think they did that and that's part of my family," Joey said.

Ross noticed a vulnerability in Joey that he had never seen. He seemed genuinely upset and genuinely scared. He almost seemed like he was on the verge of tears.

"It's alright, Joe. I know you didn't mean for them to take care of it like that. I know you ran from all that. Have you talked to Christopher?"

"No. 'Cause….'cause I'm afraid of what I'd do. I missed….she does kinda look like me," Joey said, looking at one of the photos.

"I used to tell her that her dad was best friends with Aladdin and Simba and….she loved Jasmine from Aladdin for a long time. I mean, if you sent her something with Aladdin now….even though she's now twelve...you'd probably impress her."

"I did work at Disneyland. I wasn't Aladdin."

"How did you get out of it? Your family? The mafia stuff?" Ross asked.

"I didn't want in and I had many chances. My life up until right before I began dating Lizzie was headed in that direction. I was set going into the mob but then….one day, I saw someone get killed. Right in front of me. Just watched them bleed and I threw up and….I couldn't do it. I couldn't take someone's life. I couldn't-even-I sat on that couch….please don't tell Rachel this, I told her I didn't know and I was vague because I know how much that kid meant to her and she would hate me but I was sitting on that couch with Brian. I didn't really realize it at the time but he was sitting there and Christopher gave him drugs and he rambling about his best friend marrying his brother and she didn't love him and his boyfriend breaking up with him and it was a lot and I had a feeling I knew what he was going to do with those drugs and I didn't stop any of it. Then a few days later, it was on the news that a female had found a dead body in an apartment and it was Brian's. I beat up Christopher and I...I don't know what to do now."

"Be a dad," Ross said, simply. He would never tell Rachel this. He knew it would kill her and he knew she'd be furious at Joey. He would forever keep it between them.

"Lizzie hasn't told Lauren that I'm her dad."

"Get to know her anyway. Send her stuff on Aladdin or Jonathan Taylor Thomas."

Thanks, Ross. Thanks for stepping in and thanks for listening. We've never really talked like this, have we?"

"No. Rachel did tell me there was a hit on Chandler once," Ross said.

"Yeah...she shouldn't have told you-"

"I'm not saying anything."

"When he slept with my sister and my sister got super pissed and orchestrated a hit and I got it called off. He has no clue how close he was and that's-when we were driving around looking for him that last time-that's what I was pissed off about. I fucking saved his life."

"You did. It's a terrifying world you live in, Joey."

"Yeah. So….tell me more….tell me about Lauren from ages one through eight."

"I'll tell you what I know," Ross said and proceeded to fill in Joey about everything he could remember. He told him about the trick or treating and taking Lauren to her first day of school. He told Joey about her birthday parties and watching Disney movies, he filled him in on everything and Joey just listening, hanging on to every word. It was a new part of their friendship and brought them closer.

That Christmas, Chandler was still in Tulsa while the others gathered together in Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel was sitting with Phoebe and Emma and Phoebe was talking to them about her newest boyfriend, Mike. Ross knew a little about Mike. Apparently, Mike had gone to high school with Chandler and Phoebe had met Mike through a weird blind date where Joey just set her up with a random guy named, Mike.

"You're all giddy," Rachel grinned.

"I know and he said for New Years, he has something special planned," Phoebe said.

"Awwww...I'm so going to live vicariously through you. My husband won't be here for New Years," Monica said as she walked towards Phoebe and Rachel.

"Who am I gonna be with for New Years? I'm a thirty two year old single mother," Rachel said.

"We'll just kiss each other," Monica joked.

"What?" Joey asked, suddenly perking up from across the room where he was staring out the window.

"Nothing, Joey," Rachel said. "You know, Mon...why doesn't Chandler just quit this damn job? I mean, he hates his job. He's hated his job for...how long has he had it?"

"Eleven years," Monica said.

"Wow and he's in Tulsa for a job he hates and that company just seems like an awful company to work for. I mean, they forced him to move without a raise and they...I don't know," Rachel said.

"He's a coward, that's why he won't quit," Phoebe said.

"Phoebe, you have to be nice to Chandler in 2003," Monica said, letting out a sigh.

"Yeah, you don't like Chandler anymore," Rachel said, teasing.

"I do too. I like Chandler," Phoebe said.

"No, you don't," Joey grinned.

"Yeah, you hate him," Ross said as he walked towards the chair and sat down.

"What? Wait, do you all think I hate Chandler?" Phoebe asked to which the rest of them all said yes to. Phoebe let out a sigh and continued, "Okay...but seriously...alright, let me ask you. I asked Mon this when Emma was born. He ran out before the wedding. He has screwed us all over many times. How do you guys forgive him? Don't give me, 'oh, I just do.'"

"You know, I was thinking about that...I mean, it really sucked what he did but and...here's my thing, we always make comparisons between you and Chandler and we say how you two are so similar because of how sucky your backgrounds are but they're really not similar. You had to learn survival skills, Pheebs. You had to learn how to live to see the next day so you could take the crap and just put it aside because you had to find something to eat or whatever...Chandler had no one protecting him. That's why he keeps pulling this crap. It's how he protects himself. It's why he keeps telling jokes. It's why he keeps trying to fuck things up with us. He's trying to protect himself," Rachel said.

"That's why I keep forgiving him," Joey said, "come on, he has screwed me over a lot. He hooked up with my sister, he kissed my girlfriend, he fell asleep at my movie premiere...he forgot to give me that message about the show I was on. He's fucked up with me a lot. But I'm not letting him push me away. He's my friend. My brother and that's it."

"That's how I look at it too. He keeps wanting to see how far he can push us because I think it would be easier for him to deal with us leaving. I disagree. I don't think he'd crumble if we'd all left, it's us staying that he's not sure how to deal with," Ross said.

"See...you just gotta look at it that way," Monica said.

"I do love him guys...it's just-" Phoebe said.

"Hey guys...it's snowing," Joey said, suddenly and soon the attention shifted to outside as they all gathered together and began watching the snow.

"Merry Christmas, you guys," Chandler said.

The group turned to look at him, stunned. Chandler was standing in the doorway. Monica ran to him and hugged him.

"It's a Christmas Miracle," Joey remarked.

"What are you doing here?" Monica asked.

"I quit," Chandler said.

"You finally quit your job?" Ross asked.

"Yep...it was a stupid job. Look, I love my life right now. I got the best wife, forgiving and patient friends...the most gorgeous niece in the world," Chandler said as he pointed to Emma sleeping soundly in her carrier, "and Em, we are still trying to get you a cousin...I've also been clean and sober for twenty months. But I hate that job. I've hated it for eleven years. I wanna be happy in every part of my life and that includes my job," Chandler said.

"I can't believe you finally quit," Rachel said.

"I did," Chandler said.

"So what do you wanna do now?" Rachel asked.

"Not a clue," Chandler said. "But I know I don't wanna do that."

"Oh my G-d...I think I like you again," Phoebe said.

"Thanks, Phoebe," Chandler said as Monica kissed him again. The six then walked towards the window to watch the snow fall. They were complete.

"You actually just said you love your life right now?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah...I mean, it's not good enough yet, but it's pretty damn close," Chandler said.

"Good. I'm sorry," Phoebe said.

"Me too," Chandler said as he hugged Phoebe and gently kissed her on the head. The group held onto each other as they continued to watch the snow. The moment was interrupted by the ringing of Joey's phone.

"It's Lizzie," Joey said.

"Oh...um, before you take that, I may have accidentally told Lauren that you were her dad," Chandler grinned.

"What?" Joey asked, giving Ross a look before glaring at Chandler.

"Merry Christmas," Chandler said.

Joey glared at him as he flipped open his phone and put it up to his ear, "hey, Liz. What's up? Yeah, Chandler's here...he's enjoying the last few moments of his life. Yeah, he told me," Joey said as he walked off towards the kitchen table to continue talking to Lizzie. Phoebe's phone went off soon after.

"Mike," Phoebe grinned as she grabbed her phone and walked towards the couch and plopped down as she continued to talk to him. Rachel and Ross soon tired of watching the snow as well and walked towards Emma to look at her. She was sleeping soundly.

"I can't believe I'm going back to work. I'm gonna miss her."

"I know. I can't believe we've made it," Ross said.

"I know. We're parents."

"You're amazing."

"So are you," She said as he kissed the top of her head and she wrapped her arm around her waist. 2002 was ending well and who knew what 2003 would bring but with things going well with Ross and Emma being perfect, it seemed like everything would finally go as planned.


	54. Chapter 54

**January 2003-February 2003**

Rachel was back at work. It had been a long maternity leave for her and he knew she was excited to get back and to be around adults. That was why he was stunned to hear from her though while he was getting ready to teach his Evolutionary Theory lecture. He thought he wouldn't hear from her all day. He was walking out of his office as his cell phone rang.

"Hey, Rach. What's up?"

"Are you busy?"

"About ready to head into a lecture."

"Oh….well, Chelsea invited me to a happy hour tonight after work with her and Emily and Laura Jean and I kinda wanna go. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Go," Ross said, thinking it was kinda nice that she asked. Rachel did deserve a night out though.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You have fun, I'll hang out with Emma and Molly," Ross said. Molly was their new nanny.

"Molly has no interest in you," Rachel said.

"You don't know."

"Chandler told me she's a lesbian."

"Well, you know I'm a hit with the lesbians. I mean, my first wife was one."

Rachel laughed, "so what lecture are you teaching?"

"Evolutionary Theory."

"Sounds….not interesting. I miss Emma."

"You will see her later. You deserve to have some fun. I'll see you later, alright."

"Yeah...G-d, I have so much work to catch up on."

"Well go do it," Ross said as he hung up and stepped inside the lecture hall to begin teaching. He truly did love teaching. He got to lecture and do all the things he loved to do with his friends, the only difference was that this time the students had to listen.

He was fine with Rachel doing a happy hour with some work friends but as the hours wore on, Rachel kept calling to let him know she'd be late and to not wait up. He could tell she was drunk. He was getting angry, he had stuff he needed to do. He had lesson plans and work and he was getting overwhelmed trying to handle Emma and get what he needed to get done. He was getting pissed and eventually Rachel's calls stopped and soon she was getting calls from guys. He was taking messages. This was not the deal. She needed to be home, they were supposed to be a family. She was cheating, she was off doing stuff and he was taking messages. This was not okay. He wasn't sure if he should be worried but then again she seemed to be off places doing other more fun things so maybe he wasn't supposed to be worried.

Ross got up early and noticed Rachel still wasn't home. He called her cell phone but all calls went unanswered. He needed to be at NYU. This was ridiculous. They had not decided she would be out all night. That was definitely was not part of the agreement. When the door opened at around 8a, Rachel gave him a weak smile but he wasn't in the mood.

"Welcome home," he said, his voice dripping with anger.

"Ross."

"No, no...where the hell were you?"

"I was out….I had too much to drink and-"

"I have to be at NYU in 20 minutes for an 8am class."

"Who takes college classes at 8am?" Rachel asked, clearly trying to diffuse the situation.

"Grow up and by the way, here are your messages," Ross said, shoving her a handful of paper. Rachel started glancing through them. It was pissing him off how unworried she was. She had left and was gone the entire night.

"Ross, come on," Rachel said as she tossed the papers on the couch. "Can we talk?"

"About what? I'm taking care of our child while you've been out doing….what's his name?" Ross asked. Rachel's eyes widened as her mouth dropped.

"Are you kidding me? What do you think I've been doing for the last eight months? I've barely left our house for eight months and I spent one night-"

"Where were you?"

"At this new….we went out for drinks and this guy, Gavin who has been filling in for me was...we…"

"Did you hook up with him?"

"Yes."

"Great. So now you cheated."

"Wait, whoa...cheated? Are you fucking kidding me? You and I are not dating."

"We have a child," Ross said.

"What the fuck are we?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know but I have to go to work and while I'm there, maybe I'll go pick up a girl at NYU."

"Haven't you done that already?"

Ross glared at her as he walked out the door. He had hit too low. He knew he had. He crossed a line but he didn't want her to be going out, especially not all night. She was supposed to be with him. Tha was how it was supposed to end.

After a few hours of teaching, he met up with Chandler for lunch at the Pizza Hut. They were both feeling rather nostalgic and with Chandler now unemployed, lunch could not be that expensive.

"Maybe I could dress up in a chicken suit. I like chicken, " Chandler said.

"What would you do in the chicken suit?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. I'm kinda enjoying myself right now. I haven't been out of work in over a decade. Weird. You know, Liz might come to visit."

"Very nice."

"Yeah. I kinda miss her. I'm glad we're talking. Monica's okay with me being friends with her….probably 'cause she's now gonna be in our lives. Joey's a dad. So weird."

"What have you talked about with Lizzie?" Ross asked, a little nervous.

"Just stuff...Joey mainly. To be honest, we haven't really...talked about all that other stuff. We should. I should probably tell her what I did in Amsterdam. She's not the only one who who cheated. My cheating was probably worse. She was already thinking of breaking up with me when she started with Joey. I wasn't thinking of breaking up. I was just going to never tell her it happened. Should I tell her?"

"If you think it'll help. I don't….I mean, she might already know," Ross said.

"How?" Chandler asked.

"I don't know," Ross said before saying to himself that he told Lizzie so therefore she wouldn't be shocked. He knew he had to tell, he knew he had to let Chandler know but he couldn't. He wasn't sure what it was but he just couldn't do it and Lizzie didn't seem to be telling either.

"Lauren's cool though. She's twelve and okay so she had a picture of Dr. Drake above her bed because she had a huge crush on him."

"Oh, that's awkward."

"Yeah, now she has Hayden Christensen and Daniel Radcliffe," Chandler said.

"Oh, they're dreamy."

"I thought so."

"But you know Lizzie and Joey are talking a lot. How weird would that be if she and Joey ended up...oh the speech I could give at their wedding. Would it be inappropriate if I gifted them with a lifetime of gift certificates to Wendy's?"

"Yes. I would encourage it….but yes."

"I don't see how I can't….so what happened last night?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing?"

"There were several times I looked over at your place and you were pacing like a maniac and I know Rach had a work happy hour and-"

"She cheated on me," Ross said.

"What?"

"She cheated on me."

"I didn't know you two were back together."

"We're not."

"So how did she cheat?"

"She...she hooked up with a guy from work," Ross said.

"So, she's done that before," Chandler said.

"She was out all night. Okay, while I was with our child. What kind of mother does that?"

"A mother that's been basically home for eight months with her child and deserves one night out?" Chandler asked.

"I liked it better when you were on my side about things concerning Rachel."

"Then give me something to be on your side about. You're being an ass again-"

"You know, just 'cause you are now clean and sober doesn't give you the right-"

"Yes, it does. Ross, this isn't her fault. She's barely left the apartment in eight months. She can have one night. Probably, she shouldn't sleep with her co-workers but whatever floats her boat. You two aren't together. You aren't dating. She did not cheat. You guys haven't figured each other out yet and it's annoying. What do you want from her?"

"I don't know."

"Figure it out….'cause this is getting old."

Ross let out a sigh as Chandler soon turned the conversation back to Lizzie and Joey. It seemed to amaze his friend that they were connecting and it was amazing but he could not stop thinking about Rachel. Maybe he had overreacted. They were not a couple but he had thought they were or were headed that way?

Later that evening, he was sitting at his computer typing when Rachel walked in. He looked at her and continued typing as she stood by the door.

"I thought you'd be club hopping tonight," Ross said.

"One night, Ross. One night in eight months. I have spent eight months with our child, I wanted one night."

"You got it."

"Nothing is happening between Gavin and I, okay. I'm sorry but we have to talk."

"What? You'll keep dating-"

"Oh fuck, Ross. Listen to me and stop being such a self righteous, arrogant prick."

"You're the one-"

"No, no, it meant nothing. It was one fucking night but you and I need to figure this out. This isn't fair anymore. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to you and most importantly, it's not fair to Emma. Should we get together? Should we get married? Why….this doesn't make sense anymore," Rachel yelled.

Ross kept staring at her. She was yelling, calling him those labels he hated. He was being arrogant? She was furious. He hated when she was this angry with him and it reminded him of that time when they first broke up, that very first night when they had argued all night.

"I don't know," Ross said.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Opening her eyes, she sat down on the couch and stared at him. He did not take his eyes off her, knowing what was coming next but hoping she said nothing.

"Maybe I should move back in with Joey," Rachel said.

"What?"

"Maybe….I need to move back in Joey."

"So you can date him?" Ross asked, immediately regretting the comment.

"Fuck you. No. So we can figure it out. We aren't going to figure it out living together. It's too hard and maybe right now, it's not good for us. We can't keep playing like this. We've got a kid."

She and Ross kept staring at each other. Ross nodded. He wasn't sure he agreed but maybe it wasn't his place.

"I don't want you to go," He said.

"I know but…."

"I don't wanna miss Emma grow up."

"You're not. Ross, this isn't the same as you and Carol. I promise you. I see you every single day, you will still see Emma every single day. I think we need time apart and I just want us to work so bad but I don't get it and I'm tired. I need a break," Rachel said. "I'm really sorry I got so mad. I'm sorry I was so arrogant. You're right. You've been the most incredible mom and Emma is gorgeous."

"I'm really sorry I got so mad. I'm sorry I was so arrogant. You're right. You've been the most incredible mom and Emma is gorgeous."

"For her first birthday in May….we'll do it together. We're always gonna be a team but maybe right now….it's not working."

Ross nodded as Rachel hugged him. They shared a kiss before Rachel got up and walked towards Emma. It killed him that she was moving out. It made them so much farther than he had wanted them to be at this point.

He remembered the intense shaking as Phoebe held the pipe in her hands back then. He remembered the fear in her eyes as she stole his backpack and his money. He had never forgotten what had happened. He had been mugged by a girl and it was a chance meeting with an old friend of Phoebe's that brought back those memories. They had been walking after dinner, it had been cool to hang out with Phoebe. He owed her a dinner after trying to interfere in her new relationship with Mike. He wanted her to be happy and he liked this guy. He had gone to high school with Chandler and he seemed pretty nice but Ross had interfered by accidentally telling Mike that Phoebe had never had a long relationship so he felt he needed to make it up to her. After that dinner, they were mugged by Phoebe's old friend Lowell. She had remembered him and told Lowell to not mug them. He was stunned as he watched the two catch up and then was even more stunned to learn Phoebe had not only mugged people, she had mugged him.

He knew he didn't handle it well when Phoebe told him over coffee at Central Perk that she had been the one to mug him. Perhaps that why he had been reluctant to meet her at the junkyard. He had stormed out of the coffee shop, almost knocking Chandler down and was furious. It had been one of the worst moments of his life and when Phoebe called him to meet by the junkyard, he was ready to say no but he went and found Phoebe standing with a backpack that said Geology Rocks on it. He knew it was his backpack.

"Are you here to mug me again?" Ross asked although he thought that sounded rather mean.

"Come with me," Phoebe said, grabbing his hand.

"Is that my backpack?" Ross asked.

"Come," Phoebe said as she walked off, Ross sped up and began to walk beside her. They both walked in silence as they approached the junk yard. She walked through the chain link fence and towards the burnt out Buick. She sat and put the backpack on her lap. Ross sat next to her.

"Why are we here? That is my backpack."

"Can I talk? Ross, I've taken, Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey here...on three separate occasions. I took Monica and Chandler together years ago. They asked to see it, all four of them. This is where I grew up. Before I went to Prague, I called this place home. This is your backpack. It survived the fire and..." Phoebe pulled out the wallet and handed it to him.

"My wallet...there was money in here," Ross said, opening it. It was all there though, except the money.

"Yeah, I was homeless and...here," Phoebe said, pulling out the comic book.

"Science Boy? My comic book," Ross said, glancing through it. This had been the original one. Issue number one, before Two Face before any of them, it was only Science Boy.

"Yeah, I didn't mug you because I wanted to piss you off. It was my fifteenth birthday and my first official birthday on the streets and I wanted to have cake and drinks and...an outfit. Lowell, the guy you met, told me I should mug someone. He wasn't being mean or anything...he was teaching me survival tactics and we took a subway to Long Island and I saw this kid and I did it and I was horrified and I will never forget that look of terror on the kid-your face. I felt horrible, but I wanted to have a birthday party and...Marjorie had said that I had to celebrate surviving to fifteen and then make a wish to hopefully survive till sixteen. That's what my life was like, Ross. You, Mon, Joey, Rachel, Chandler...you knew you would live to see the next day. I mean, my sixteenth birthday...after that movie that Chandler paid for...he went back to his boarding school in Scarsdale to hang out with his buddies and bitch about how I screwed him over because he bought me movie tickets and like a hundred dollars worth of candy and I couldn't give him a phone number-"

"It was a hundred dollars worth of candy?" Ross asked. How did not know?

"Well, half of it I put into my guitar case and took it back here to eat later."

"How did he not put it together that you might be homeless?"

"Because he was fifteen and was thinking like a fifteen year old boy and when he went back to his school to complain, I came back here and was almost stabbed to death by some escaped convict. I led a different life Ross and I'm sorry I didn't put it together that it was you. If I could go back...no, if I could go back, I'd still do it. I had nothing. You had money and linzor tortes," Phoebe said.

"I didn't have linzor tortes?"

"You were trying to get them...here-" Phoebe pulled out the envelope that had Monica's childhood writing scrawled on it.

"Oh...linzor tortes," Ross said, staring at the envelope and laughing at the writing.

"I still don't know what those are but I used the money to buy a dress from Rachel's aunt's store. In fact, I was in there while she was on the phone and said they would have to fumigate the place because homeless people were in it."

"Oh...that sounds like something she would have said back then. This was your home."

"Yes. Ross, this is where I lived. I hope you don't think I was trying to ruin your life. I wasn't. I was trying to..."

"Survive. Wow...I can't believe you kept Science Boy," Ross said, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. She had called this home. This junkyard. It made it all so real, all of Phoebe's stories were firmly rooting in tragedy and this was proof.

"I read it every single night. I memorized it. I thought it was so good and I'm sorry I mugged you, Ross. I'm sorry that I traumatized you."

"No...I'll get over it. You did what you needed to do to survive and I hope the money gave you a good fifteenth birthday," Ross said. It didn't matter anymore.

"It did. I had cake and an outfit...and booze...some food."

"Sounds like a party. I ran home and told my parents and Monica that I'd been mugged by a guy and they were gonna call the police, but I told them not to. I knew I had been mugged by a girl who had her hair pulled back and I knew she was shaking when she did it...and I still got scared and I didn't didn't want everyone to know that I had gotten mugged by a girl. So I said I didn't get a good look at his face...I was too nervous. Although, after that, Rachel came over...I guess she was done working and she wanted to check up on how I was. It was the first time she had noticed me...although, she did mention that there were some smelly hobos in her store and they bought some dress and she wondered how they had money. She said it was probably from prostitution," Ross grinned.

"Wow...Rachel really was something back then, wasn't she?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh yeah...Chandler used to call her a national treasure."

"Didn't he used to call her a coyote?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes, like Wylie Coyote...the best part of the cartoon is when the coyote runs off a cliff. Chandler was waiting for her to run off a cliff," Ross said.

"Wow," Phoebe said, laughing.

"He hated her and it was mutual. She would pretend not to know him and he'd cover her car with peanut butter...it's actually a testament to her that both of you like her so much now."

"Seriously," Phoebe said.

The two sat silently staring out at the rest of the junkyard. He felt so awful. Phoebe had such a different life than he did, then any of them did. He and Phoebe were never as close as the rest of them and he thought they should be.

"How come you never tell me any of this?" Ross asked.

"What? You know everything," Phoebe said, confused.

"No...it's just...the rest of them know more. Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Monica...they know stuff I don't. I know they do...just why?"

"Well...okay...Ross, you're...you can be far more judgmental than the rest of them."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. You have a very set way of thinking and it is hard for you to see someone else's point of view."

"Pheebs-"

"Okay, your wedding to Emily? Yes, what she was asking was ridiculous but you did say the wrong name. Her demands weren't out of the blue. When you and Rachel broke up...the first time...she is allowed to have a separate work life, away from you. I mean, at that time, it was the first big job thing Rachel had ever done entirely on her own...she should have been allowed to enjoy that. You aren't good at seeing things from other people's perspectives."

"That's blunt," Ross said. A lot of people were being blunt with him lately. He wasn't sure he was enjoying that.

"I know. I've known you for so long and you never asked to see the junkyard or Port Authority which by the way, was were I was living when I moved in with Monica. I remember you asking so many questions. Chandler recognized me and I was so worried he was gonna rat me out, but he didn't and...you wouldn't...if you knew, if you had your way, you would've convinced Mon to not let me move in with her."

"I tried."

"You did?"

"After we met you for the first time, Monica was adamant about you living with her and Chandler also was completely on board and I thought it was ridiculous. Monica said you were homeless and Chandler said he had a feeling that you probably were...I didn't realize it was a feeling because he knew and paid for your education...but he thought it was a great idea and I kept going, this is absurd. You were homeless...I'm glad Mon didn't listen to me."

"Me too. I mean, I get it...having a homeless girl live with you is odd...but both Mon and Chandler were telling you it was okay and they both had their reasons-"

"Wait, but I didn't know Chandler's reasons. I didn't know any of that."

"I know...but they were both on board. Alright, Ross you wanna know something the other four know that you don't?"

"Yes."

"But you can't judge me like you did with this mugging thing. The other four know this happened. Okay, you know I was in Prague with Duncan and Joey and Chandler told you how he left me alone a lot...well, they didn't tell you everything. I killed someone in Prague."

"What?" Ross asked, stunned.

"I was at a club on my twentieth birthday and I was dancing and having fun and this guy whom I had been seeing casually named, Tomas got really mad at me and took me back to his apartment where he raped and tortured me for twenty four hours. When he passed out, I managed to get myself free and stab him. His drug and alcohol levels were so high that his death was ruled accidental."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"You know...it wouldn't have been considered self defense because he was passed out when you stabbed him."

"You're judging me."

"Oh, no...I think you did the right thing," Ross said. He really did hate Duncan. He never met the guy but he thought the guy sucked. How could he have let her just roam around, alone.

"You five are the only ones that know...and Duncan. None of my friends from the street know. Mike doesn't know. You can't say a word and you can't bring it up to tease me or anything. It's not like stealing from a boutique. Legally, there's nothing Rachel nor her aunt can do about it. But this...please, Ross, I need your word that this will never be mentioned to anyone."

"I won't. I promise."

"Good. I'm not proud of it...it's the worst thing I've ever done. I wanted so badly to be happy Ross. To have a home and friends and a job...and I always felt like I was being pulled back, everytime I got super close. That's why I owe everything to Chandler and also Monica."

"That's why you get so mad at him."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you got out of here. I'm glad Monica and Chandler didn't listen to me."

"Me too...although, Ross how come you never asked see the junkyard? Monica, Chandler, Joey and Rachel all asked and you never did. Chandler said he took you to see where he grew up...you never asked."

That wasn't quite true. He had to track Chandler down, Chandler never invited him over but that wasn't really the point.

"Why? Why would I ask? You're not there anymore. You're not homeless, Chandler's not lonely and abused. You're not those people anymore...you're above it. You both rose above it and became normal functioning members of society. I do believe that people are a reflection of how they grew up...but you've risen above the pain, why go back there? When Emily and I broke up, when Carol and I broke up...I kept going back to that dark place and it was holding me back. Why would I want to see a place that gave you...or Chandler...the darkest moments of your life? That's why I never asked. It's not 'cause I don't care...it's 'cause you aren't there anymore. You know, when Rachel and I first dated...I thought I was dating the ninth grade fantasy I had. I kept thinking she was that fourteen year old...but she wasn't-"

"She's better."

"Exactly. But it took me a long time to come to terms with that...and I lost her in the process."

"You think you two will ever get it right?"

"I don't know. Every single time we try, we fail...but there's no point in going back when the person you are now is completely different...you know what, keep this," Ross said, handing her the comic book.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. It obviously meant a lot to you."

"It did. I would take it with me to the library everyday and look up all the science words. I would imagine other stories. I loved Science Boy."

"Keep him," Ross said, handing the comic book to Phoebe.

"Thank you," Phoebe said as she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"He actually is part of a series. We made other characters. Two Face is Rachel...you wanna read more?"

"Oh my G-d, yes," Phoebe said.

"Also...and okay, don't mock me," Ross said as he stood up. Phoebe stood as well. "I have all my textbooks from high school through grad school. I keep them all. Any workbook, any novel….I've kept. Do you want them?"

"You've really kept everything from school?"

"Everything."

"Yeah I do wanna look at them. I really do."

"I mean, they're all outdated-"

"I don't care. I wanna read them."

"They're all yours."

The two walked out of the junkyard and hailed a cab. He would find all the books Phoebe needed and deliver them to her. He had such respect for her, he felt upset with himself for ever getting mad in the first place.

Monica stopped by later that evening as he was looking for books for Phoebe. As he sat down, she sat next to him.

"Just wanted to check in," Monica said.

"She took me to the junkyard. She told me what happened in Prague...I feel bad that I got mad at her."

"I know….why didn't you say it was a girl who mugged you. Laurie and Ellie have always kinda thought it was."

"Are you going to tell them they were right?"

"I already have. But why didn't you say that you were mugged by a girl?"

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to humiliate myself more. She had a pipe and...and she was scared. I remember that. I remember she was shaking, terrified and then when Rachel said some hobos came in and bought clothes….I had a feeling it was the same girl and you know why she mugged me and bought clothes?"

"For her sixteenth birthday."

Ross nodded when there was another knock and soon Rachel came in, holding Emma. Rachel handed Emma to Ross who sat the infant on his lap.

"Heard you got mugged by a girl," Rachel said.

"Thank you. Hey, she robbed your store."

"She did. How are you, Ross?"

"Alright."

"You two are ridiculous," Monica said, suddenly. Both Ross and Rachel both stared at her, confused, "really, you both belong together. You both know that. Please do us all a favor….or do me a favor….and figure out a way to make your relationship work. Please."

Monica walked out leaving Ross feeling a bit confused. Monica was just being weird.

"She bought a dress with that money."

"For her sixteenth birthday," Ross said.

"Fifteenth. Sixteenth was the movie Chandler paid for."

"Oh. I was mugged by a girl."

"You know what though, between you and me….she was scary. She didn't look like Phoebe. She looked….homeless. She stumbled into the store and she was filthy and...I love Pheebs, but I'm sure that was scary."

"She was."

"Ross, I'm sorry about Gavin."

"No, I'm sorry too. I mean, you're a great mom and….I want us to….maybe we aren't supposed to be together. Maybe...we've tried and it's not working and maybe it's best for Emma."

"Yeah, maybe it's the best for Emma."

Ross began playing with Emma as Rachel sat near him. Maybe this was what needed to happen for now. This was their definition of making it work.


	55. Chapter 55

**February 2003-May 2003**

It killed him that Phoebe and Mike had broken up. He had wanted them to work but they broke up because Mike did not want to get married. After seeing how Phoebe had lived, he was rooting even more for her. He wanted her to get the normal she so desperately wanted. They had all planned to help Mike move in but instead they broke up. As Mike walked out, Chandler followed just as Ross walked in and he noticed everyone surrounding Phoebe. Ross approached as well as Phoebe cried. This was not what he wanted at all.

"I wanted marriage. I wanted normal and….I should...I wanted to get married, why doesn't he wanna marry me?" Phoebe asked.

"Pheebs," Monica said.

"So that's Duncan….Mike...is there ever going to be a guy who wants to marry me?"

"Oh, honey, yes," Rachel said.

"I want what Monica and Chandler have," Phoebe muttered.

"We all do," Rachel said.

"Oh, no you don't. Please, you want to be married to Chandler?" Monica asked.

"Of course not….I just wanna be married to someone who loves me as much as Chandler loves you," Phoebe said.

"I'll marry you," Joey said.

"Joey, you're so sweet," Phoebe said.

"No, I'm serious. Let's do it," Joey said.

Ross found that to be strange. Sweet yes, but wasn't Joey talking to Lizzie? If Phoebe said yes, he could just imagine how that phone call would end up.

"Didn't you propose to me like nine months ago? Who are you now? Ross?" Rachel asked.

"Thanks, Rach," Ross said.

"You're welcome," Rachel grinned as Ross laughed and put his arm around Rachel, hugging her before walking towards a stack of movies by Phoebe's television. He knew what to do next, he knew what Chandler would be expecting. He began looking through stacks and as he did, he noticed one of his old science textbooks. He opened it and noticed Phoebe's writing in the margins. She really was reading those books, working to better herself. He hated Mike in that moment, how could he not want Phoebe? She really had done this all on her own. Yeah, there had been that financial help from Chandler but she was still doing the work.

"Pheebs, you will find someone, I promise," Monica said.

"Hey, Phoebe," Chandler said. They turned to see Chandler walking back into the apartment.

"Where did you go?" Phoebe asked.

"It's...nowhere," Chandler said, as he placed his arm around Phoebe.

"Did I ruin your friendship with Mike?" Phoebe asked him.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't much of a friendship. You know I choose you,"

Chandler said as he hugged her, tightly, gently kissing her on the top of the head as Ross put down the textbook and began looking through movies until he found what he was looking for.

"I found it," Ross said. He was holding up the Hot Dog Movie.

"No," Rachel whined which made Monica laugh.

"You got the DVD?" Chandler asked.

"It's got deleted scenes and extra footage," Phoebe said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, this is gonna be awesome. Will you sit with me?" Chandler asked.

"Yes," Phoebe smiled as the two walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"At least, can we make slow death punch?" Rachel asked, which was met with silence and everyone looking at Chandler. They hadn't made the slow death punch in a long time. Monica refused because of Chandler and she didn't want to make it difficult for him.

"Yes, you can make slow death punch," Chandler said, rolling his eyes.

"You sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes," Chandler said.

"I have Red Bull in the fridge," Phoebe said.

"You do?" Chandler asked.

"Of course...so when you come over, you always have something to drink," Phoebe said.

"You do like me," Chandler grinned.

"I do," Phoebe said as Chandler hugged her and placed his arm around her. Phoebe let out a sigh as she placed her head on his chest. Ross began setting up the movie as Monica and Rachel retreated to the kitchen to make the smoothies. Ross set up the movie and soon they all gathered around Phoebe's television. Rachel and Ross snuggled up together in the big, cushy chair. Rachel let out a loud groan when Ross laughed. Rachel was annoyed already which he kinda loved because when she was annoyed, she complained and complained cute and he enjoyed messing with her.

Joey had secretly slipped him Lizzie's phone number before they left Phoebe's for the evening. On the back, he'd written that she wanted Ross to call her. He was scared to call her. He held the number in his hand and stared at the numbers, he had broken a promise to Lizzie. He had broken his promise to Lauren. When he arrived home, he picked up the phone and looked at his watch. It was about ten, eleven o'clock in Tulsa. It was probably too late but he thought he'd give it a shot. He quickly dialed and put the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?" came Lizzie's voice on the other end. He couldn't figure out how to start or what he was supposed to even say.

"So, Lauren's dad's name is Joey Tribbiani?" Ross tried, hoping that was the right way to start.

"No, she's actually yours. I lied," Lizzie said. Ross laughed but he could still detect a hint of anger in her voice.

"Liz….I-I just-"

"What-you broke-I am so pissed at you and I mean, it's one thing to stop speaking to me but you made a promise to Lauren and-"

"I said Rachel's name at my wedding."

"What?"

"At my wedding to Emily. I said Rachel's name. Emily got pissed and my life kinda spiraled. Emily wanted me to move out of my apartment because she didn't want me to be friends with Rachel. I crashed with Joey and Chandler and then moved into a new place and somewhere along the lines with everything that happened...I just forgot. I am so sorry and I'll talk to Lauren, too."

"You said Rachel's name?"

"Yeah and Rachel and I got married….and divorced."

"Seriously?"

"And have a child."

"What is wrong with you two?" Lizzie asked.

"I don't know. It's a question for the ages. I missed you, Liz."

"Me too. G-d, I can't believe this. Chandler's doing really well."

"Yeah, really well."

"And Joey….it's funny, I wanted to just forget all three of you but-"

"The three of us are unforgettable."

"I haven't told Chandler anything about us. We probably do have to tell him."

"I agree. Joey, Rachel and Monica know and it's just a matter of time and I'd rather one of us tell him and not Joey or Monica. I just don't wanna hurt him," Ross said.

"Me neither."

"Can I talk to Lauren?"

"I think she's asleep. Let me check. She should be asleep," Lizzie said before putting the phone down. He waited a few moments before he heard rustling.

"Ross?"

"Lauren?"

"Yeah, it's Lauren," she said before moving the phone away from her "I don't what to say, mom."

"Lauren, let me say something then. I want to apologize to you. I'm-I was going through a lot of stuff and I moved and in everything that was happening, I should have gotten in touch with you guys."

"You know, I sent you stuff but it got sent back to me. It said 'return to sender, occupant no longer lives at this address.'"

"I'm really sorry. I messed up," Ross said.

"Thank you. My dad is Dr. Drake Ramoray."

"Oh, I know."

"I had a big picture of him over my bed. He was my crush. I am now screwed up for life," Lauren said.

"You are not screwed up for life," Lizzie yelled from the background.

"Yeah, tell that to my therapist."

Ross laughed. Lauren seemed like a pretty happy kid despite everything.

"Well, I was right Lauren. Your dad does go on adventures."

"He does seem really nice, actually and did you tell him to send me pictures of Jonathan Taylor Thomas and DVD's of Aladdin."

"Yes."

"I'm twelve. I'm so over JTT and also, I'm totally loving Tuck Everlasting. If you want my favorite Disney movie now...but I also really like Harry Potter."

"Good to know. Look, Lauren…."

"It's okay, Ross. I'm...I'm trying to understand everything. I'm talking to Joey a lot and my mom has explained everything and I understand why she did what she did and-and-it's all very confusing but….I'm okay. I'm not mad at Joey...or you...or Chandler for indirectly telling me. I'm okay."

"Good."

"Honey, why don't you go to sleep," Lizzie said as Ross could hear some more rustling. "You have school tomorrow."

Okay, bye Ross," Lauren said with more rustling in the background before it was just Lizzie.

"She sounds like a good kid," Ross said.

"Surprisingly well adjusted," Lizzie said.

"And you know, I believe Joey when he said he didn't want them to tell you to stop calling by holding you at gunpoint. I've known the guy for awhile now and I just don't see it."

"I know, I believe it too."

"That day when you went with me to go see Chandler and you looked in the bar and you refused to go in….it was Joey that you saw in there, right?"

"It was. I saw him and I just couldn't. Joey's explained everything to me but I didn't know….and-he seems like a really awesome guy...who just knows some really fucked up people. I know he never meant for them to take care of it that way. He was actually really angry that they did."

"I know and also, I will talk to Chandler. I will. I think we have to," Ross said. It was getting too hard to keep it from him. He hoped it wouldn't hurt him too much.

It was supposed to be a romantic getaway for Monica and Chandler but it ended up being for Ross and Chandler. Chandler had wanted to celebrate his Junior Copywriter position with a trip to Vermont but Monica was so busy at Javu that she couldn't take the weekend away so it ended up being Ross and Chandler sharing the suite for the weekend. He kept going over Lizzie's conversation in his head. Rachel, Joey and Monica had all kept it from Chandler. Lizzie has kept it from Chandler. So maybe now was the time to come clean over a romantic candlelit dinner at Ye Olde Tavern that had really been for Monica and Chandler.

"Beautiful restaurant," Ross said as he picked up the menu, "oooo, almond and sugar encrusted brie. I'm getting that."

"Yep, it's how I dreamt this weekend," Chandler said. "Mac and cheese pizza."

"Score."

"I know…..ooo, they have Red Bull," Chandler said.

"Seriously? Whoa…would you get mad if I got a cocktail?"

"Only if you keep asking. You guys gotta stop asking."

"Then I'm getting a cocktail," Ross said, looking at the menu. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable again. "Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Go ahead."

"It's about Lizzie and...and my relationship with her-"

"That it didn't end after college?" Chandler finished, giving him a look.

"Wh-how-I-"

"I'm not an idiot. No one told me although I'm assuming everyone knows."

"Joey, Rachel and Monica know. I didn't want them saying anything. When you guys broke up, I visited her 'cause she was my friend too. I felt bad for her. The reason I never wanted her sleeping our room wasn't because I didn't want girls in our room...it's 'cause I wanted to give her a break. You were a mess in college."

"I know that now but-"

"But we were still good friends and we remained good friends and….and...she-we also-right after I divorced Carol and before Julie, so in that time, I had a brief friends-with-benefits relationship with her."

"You hooked up with her?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry man. I'm sorry I kept on lying about it. She didn't want you knowing we were friends and we-that's why she didn't come to Carol and I's wedding and we had two separate Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. She didn't go to Carol's Bachelorette party because she didn't want Mon telling you."

"Hmmm, wow…."

"I should have said something."

"I really hurt her that badly, didn't I?" Chandler asked. Ross was taken aback by Chandler's reaction. It wasn't what he had expected.

"No, no, I-"

"She really wanted nothing to do with me after we broke up?"

"I think she's impressed with you now. I mean, now...we're all impressed with you."

"Does she know about Amsterdam?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, she does."

"You know, she was my best friend. I really did love her."

"I know you did. I hope you're not mad at me."

"No, no...I'm not. I just wish I hadn't been such an ass. She deserved so much better."

"She's doing well with Joey. She seems to like him and I talked to Lauren. She's a really well adjusted child," Ross said.

"That's what Joey said….shocking….and did you know how-with Liz-she was held at gunpoint by Joey's mob buddies," Chandler said.

"Oh, when she told me that….whoa. I could not-wow-he didn't tell them to do that. He apparently just said, 'make her stop calling me.'"

"It worked."

"Do you ever wonder….why the hell is Joey Tribbiani friends with the two of us?" Ross asked.

"Every single day. Him and Phoebe. We're not like you guys," Chandler said.

"I know. They've hooked up."

"Oh, yeah."

"Pheebs and I made out too," Ross said.

"Really?"

"Right when Carol told me when she was divorcing me. I saw Pheebs in the bar that night and we were making out until you all walked in."

"Wait, so Pheebs and I used to make out all the time when she moved in. She made out with you and she's hooked up with Joey. Go, Pheebs."

"I know….and wait, Lizzie has hooked up with all three of us too."

"She has. She hit the lame cool guy trifecta," Chandler said. "But even more so...if she were to make a list of all the guys she's hooked up, I think it would be the three of us. We would be the list, unless she's had other guys in Tulsa but...we'd be the list."

"We'd be at the top of the list."

"Do you wanna call her and make fun of her a little bit?" Chandler asked.

"Kinda."

Chandler was grinning as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed. He pressed the speaker phone and leaned in, as did Ross.

"Hello?" Lizzie asked.

"Hey, it's Chandler and Ross," Chandler said.

"Well, hello boys. I guess you told him, Ross?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah," Ross said.

"I'm sorry, Chandler...I-"

"No, no, Liz. I'm sorry, it's fine...I'm okay. You deserved better. I was not a great boyfriend to you and...I get why you did it and why you broke up with me now and I'm sorry."

"Hmmm, yeah, so how was Amsterdam?" Lizzie asked.

"Shut up," Chandler said which made both Lizzie and Ross laugh.

"You so cheated on me," Lizzie said.

"You had a kid with the guy you cheated on me with. My affair was with a prostitute...while Ross stood watch outside," Chandler said. "That was kind of a fun night."

"You suck. Where are you guys?" Lizzie asked.

"We're having a romantic dinner for two in Vermont," Chandler said.

"You're cheating on your wife with your brother-in-law?" Lizzie asked.

"He is dreamy," Chandler said.

"You're taking it too far," Ross said.

"Monica was busy with work. I got a job in advertising. Junior copywriter."

"Good job."

"So we're celebrating. It is a little awkward when he wants to snuggle," Chandler joked.

"You suck as a person," Ross muttered.

Chandler was laughing as he tried to compose himself, "anyway we did wanna call because we were sitting here and Ross has told me the nature of your relationship and we realized that Joey, Ross and myself have yet another thing...or rather person….in common."

"Lame cool guy trifecta, Lizzie for the win," Ross joked.

"Oh my G-d….oh, man...whoa…well, in my defense...you know what I'm not defending myself at all. I regret nothing," Lizzie said, laughing as well.

"So who was your favorite?" Chandler asked.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Chandler, you're married and you were my first boyfriend and Ross is your brother in law and-and-he comforted me and-I'm gonna have to go with Joey."

"Yeah, I figured," Chandler said.

"Make sense," Ross said.

Lizzie laughed, as did Chandler and Ross. He tried to remember if the three of them had ever had this much fun in college. They probably had but he didn't quite remember. It felt so easy now, so funny and comfortable.

"I miss you boys. We had fun in college," Lizzie said.

"We did and I'm sorry it got all messed up and thanks for dinner in Tulsa."

"Anytime."

"And you know, Liz….despite everything, you're part of our group," Chandler said.

"Am I included into the six?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, and we are very, very cliquey," Chandler said.

"We kind of are and you know, Liz, we could have protected you from Joey's gun toting friends," Ross said.

"I would have protected you. I would have gotten super drunk first, but I would have protected you."

"Would this have been before or after you both shit your pants out of fear and I'd have to clean it up?" Lizzie asked.

"Before," Chandler said.

"After. Come on, after. We couldn't make her do it before. That's just rude. We'd shit our pants, which would get rid of the mobster gun men 'cause we'd stink and then we could've had her clean up after. That's just good manners," Ross said.

"True," Chandler said. "After."

"Well, couldn't I just have gotten Joey do it. They were his friends and besides, Ross, doesn't he already have experience cleaning up your shit. He did it before," Lizzie remarked.

"Oh, ouch….I feel the heat from that burn," Chandler said. Ross was cracking up way too much to be offended. He silently cursed himself for being that nervous in the first place. Chandler was not upset with him, even though he still feel bad. Even though it was supposed to be a weekend for Monica and Chandler, it ended up being a weekend for Ross and Chandler to become better friends.

He really had not been planning on dating anyone. He had decided he would wait until Rachel was ready and they would figure out their relationship. He was getting married to her. That was it. It was decided but then he met Charlie, who was tall, funny and now working at NYU in the Paleontology Department. She was brand new to New York and he had been told to show her around so he did. He took her to all the New York tourist destinations. It reminded him a bit of being with Julie. They could actually talk about paleontology, about research topics and other things he could not discuss with his friends. He was falling for her and she was falling….for Joey.

It was a twist that he didn't see coming. He and Chandler had thought for sure Joey would be making it official with Lizzie but after catching Charlie and Joey kissing on the rooftop during Joey's soap opera party, he wasn't sure anymore. He couldn't see what Joey and Charlie had in common, they were from two completely different worlds. It made no sense. He wanted to be a good friend, he really did but none of it made sense.

"So who's Charlie?" Lizzie asked on the phone with Ross a few days after the soap opera party. He was in his office, trying to get work done but couldn't focus, still thinking about the party.

"A co-worker. She's pretty...I have no idea I-"

Charlie knocked and stuck her head inside Ross' office. He waved her in as she walked in and he finished his call with Lizzie.

"I think we should talk," Charlie said.

"Oh, it's okay."

"No, no...what happened at the soap opera party is just so not like me. It's just...look, I've had all these serious relationships and I wanna have fun and I know Joey is totally not my type but-"

"Well-"

"I don't date actors and he's not….well..I hate to say smart but-"

Ross let out a chuckle, he wanted to yell and scream and tell her to not date Joey. That Joey was completely wrong for her and Joey had a daughter whom he needed to be a parent to and that Charlie should date Ross instead.

Then again, maybe not….

Maybe he shouldn't interfere with Joey's relationship. He was still holding out hope for Rachel and so many people had been hurt by their back and forth that maybe it was for the best that he not try anything.

"Well, depends on your definition of smart but….he's a good guy."

"He's sweet."

"Loyal. When he says he got your back….you can pretty take that to the bank. He will do whatever it takes to protect the ones he cares about," Ross said.

"Am I completely crazy?"

"No, no….I get it. I've had long relationships end and you do wanna have fun after. I've been there and okay, no he wouldn't win a Nobel Peace Prize. An Oscar maybe-"

"Is he really that good of an actor?" Charlie asked.

"I think he is but...no, he's not brilliant but he's got street smarts. Really good street smarts….and he's...you know, go for it."

"Thanks," Charlie said Ross' phone rang. He grabbed it and heard crying on the other end, "hello?"

"Ross, it's me," Rachel said, crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm worried about Monica and Chandler. Monica's not leaving her room and Chandler….I don't know how close he is the edge. Ross, we have to do something. I'm afraid he's gonna fall off the wagon or she's gonna do something….this isn't good."

"Charlie, can I...I'll talk to you after," Ross said.

"Oh, sure," Charlie said as she got up and walked out, closing the door behind her. He let out a sigh. Chandler and Monica had been trying to have kids for almost a year. They had done everything and found out the day after the soap opera party that they could not have children. He knew it was breaking his sister. He knew that was her only dream. One of three. She wanted to be a chef, get married, have children and now that final dream was being pushed out of reach.

"Where are you?" Ross asked.

"In the hall. Chandler's in my apartment with Joey playing video games and Mon is in her room and I don't know what to do," Rachel cried.

"Can I talk to her?" Ross asked.

"Yeah," Rachel said as he waited a bit until he heard Monica on the other line.

"Ross?"

"Mon, you're gonna be okay."

"No, I'm not."

"Have you talked to our parents?" Ross asked.

"Oh, G-d no. I don't need….could you imagine the critiques," Monica said.

"I don't think they'd do that Monica."

"I'm gonna take a nap," Monica said.

"Monica," Ross tried but soon Rachel was back on the other line.

"What are we gonna do?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. Stay with Mon and Joey's with Chandler, right?"

"Yeah and I'm gonna call Pheebs and see if she can come over," Rachel said.

Ross and Rachel said their goodbyes and hung up. He looked over his schedule and noticed he had only one more lecture for the day. He picked up his phone and immediately called his parents. He had to tell them. He had to get them to go to Monica and Chandler's. They immediately said they would go. They arrived at the apartment at the same time about an hour later. His mom looked freaked out, telling Ross to walk faster. Jack tried to comfort Judy but she just kept telling them to walk faster. As they reached the landing between apartments 19 and 20, the door to apartment 19 opened and Chandler stood staring at Jack and Judy.

"How are you, son?" Jack asked.

"I'm….I'm really sorry," Chandler said.

Jack leaned and suddenly embraced Chandler in a hug as Judy kept telling them to open the door. They walked into the darkened apartment and towards Monica and Chandler's room where Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on either side of her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Geller?" Rachel said as Monica looked at them. Rachel and Phoebe immediately got up as Judy practically sprinted towards Monica, holding her as Monica burst into tears again. Ross teared up as well as he looked back at Chandler and his dad. Joey was now standing next to Chandler.

"You'll fix this," Judy said. "I know you will."

"How?" Monica asked.

"Look around you," Ross said.

"Yeah, you've fixed all of us," Phoebe said, "and that took work."

Monica let out a sigh as Judy still remained seated next to her. Ross wished he could do something else, anything else to make every pain go away.


	56. Chapter 56

**May 2003-January 2004**

Chandler had vanished. He had been doing so well, sober and clean for two years. Ross knew this was a lot for his friend to handle and he sat worried in Monica and Chandler's apartment. They all were freaking out while Monica kept making call after call.

"You really think fell off the wagon?" Ross asked.

"I don't know. I just….what did I do? I've been a good person. I've-" Monica said, as she dialed again. "Pheebs? How drunk is he?"

"Oh no," Rachel said.

"We don't know," Ross said.

"I'm on my way," Monica said as she hung up and looked at the three of them.

"He's at Pub 2," Monica said.

"He fell off the wagon?" Joey asked.

"No, no. He's with Phoebe. Phoebe said he was sober. I don't know, I'll be back," Monica said, grabbing her keys as she practically sprinted towards the door.

"Should we come with you?" Rachel asked.

"No, let me...just all be here when we get back. Don't be mad at him," Monica said.

"We won't," Rachel said as Monica walked out, leaving the three of them staring at each other.

"Are they going to be okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. Wait, he's sober and he called Pheebs. He called for help," Ross said. "I don't think he's ever….he asked for help when he went off the edge but I don't think he's ever asked for help when he got too close to the edge. He's going to be fine."

That impressed him more than anything. Chandler actually asking for help. He was pretty sure that had never happened.

"Promise?" Rachel asked. "'Cause I just….I….want them to be okay. Monica is supposed to have children. She's supposed to be a mom."

"She's going to be one," Ross said. "Chandler's going to be a dad."

"I think he'll be an awesome dad," Joey said.

"Oh, yeah….the two of them as parents? Yeah. The kid will be insanely neat and hilariously funny," Ross said.

"Beautiful and popular," Rachel said.

"They're going to be parents. They're meant to be parents," Ross said.

Rachel nodded as Ross leaned over and squeezed her hand. She smiled as she sniffled a little. The three sat in silence, waiting for Monica, Chandler and Phoebe to return and when they did, Chandler looked ashamed but he was completely sober. Ross felt immensely proud of his friend. Chandler looked down at the floor as Joey stood up and walked towards him but instead of hitting him, hugged him tightly. Ross stood up and walked towards Monica and hugged her.

"You're sober?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Chandler said.

"He called for help. I'm his sponsor," Phoebe said.

"Actually….no," Chandler said.

"Yes, I am. I've appointed myself," Phoebe said.

"But you aren't in AA?" Chandler asked. "I have a sponsor that's in AA."

"They don't count, I do," Phoebe said.

"Okay," Chandler said, placing his arm around Phoebe.

"Guys, I have an announcement. Um, Chandler and I are going to adopt," Monica said.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"It was my idea," Phoebe said. "But doesn't it make perfect sense?"

"It does," Rachel said. It did. Monica and Chandler adopting made sense. It made complete sense and as they talked about adopting, there was a lightness that floated over the room again. Adoption. Monica was nothing if not a fixer, she took people in, she helped them...yeah, adoption made sense.

"I'm gonna make us dinner," Monica said as she began to move towards the kitchen before Chandler stopped her.

"No, let me," Chandler said, "take a break."

"You're gonna make dinner?" Ross asked.

"I can make dinner," Chandler said. "Watch me make dinner."

The group watched as Chandler walked towards the kitchen and opened up a drawer. He grabbed a large piece of paper, grabbed the phone and began dialing.

"Yeah, hi...I wanna order two….no, three large pizzas. One veggie, one cheese and one pepperoni…." Chandler continued.

"I love my husband," Monica said, laughing as Chandler continued ordering the pizza.

"So are you okay?" Ross asked, placing his arm around his sister.

"I have to be, right? I mean….I want to be a mom. I'm married, I'm a chef and this is the final part. This has to happen for me."

"It will."

"And you know, Chandler and I don't have to stop trying," Monica said.

"That's gross," Ross said.

Monica laughed as Chandler hung up and looked at the rest of them, flipping the phone in his hand.

"There you go, I made dinner," Chandler said.

"Good job, man," Ross said.

"I thought so. Where's Emma," Chandler said.

"Over there, she's waiting for you," Rachel said pointing to Emma's carrier. Chandler walked over and immediately scooped her up in his arms. Emma looked over at Chandler and began giggling as he made faces at her.

"So I have other news," Ross said. He had been wanting to tell them all day but when Chandler went missing, everything was put on hold. Now, seemed like a good time to let people know that he had work news.

"You got engaged?" Chandler asked.

"Who is she?" Joey asked.

"I hate you both," Ross said, "no...I um...I have a lecture to give in Barbados and I bought you all tickets."

"To go see a dino lecture?" Joey asked.

"No, you can hang out in Barbados….except I want you seeing my lecture," Ross said.

"I could use a vacation," Monica said.

"Me too," Chandler said.

"I can do Barbados," Rachel said.

It was set, they would spend a week in Barbados. Ross would be giving the keynote speech and they would be laying out by the pool….or in the hotel.

As soon as they arrived in Barbados, it was already monsoon season. It was pouring outside and the other five were annoyed. Charlie seemed to be enjoying herself and when Ross lost his entire speech thanks to Chandler, the two spent the entire night rewriting it. It made him fall for Charlie even more. She was still dating Joey and was trying so hard to not say a word. He wanted to just pretend it didn't matter. He didn't love Charlie but he was getting so close to her. They had so much in common. They were both divorced and they both had spouses that were gay, it was like they were each other's perfect match but she was with Joey.

His speech went well and he was impressed that his friends were there. Impressed that they actually seemed to be listening and not falling asleep on each other. After the speech, the group surrounded him to congratulate him. He was stunned though to see Mike standing with Phoebe. What had he missed while he was busy with his speech? Phoebe had come with David, some scientist guy she had dated years ago but now she was with Mike? He really needed to start paying more attention.

"You're with Mike again?" Ross asked, whispering in Phoebe's ear as he gave her a hug.

"Yeah, a lot has happened while you've been writing about dinos," Phoebe said.

"Apparently. It's good though?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. I got normal," Phoebe said.

"Perfect," Ross said as he and Phoebe stopped hugging and the rest of the group continued congratulating him although they were all still a little upset that it was raining out.

After his lecture, he wanted to go to another one a little later so while the rest of them scattered, he went to the bar to get a drink and wait. He began looking through some of the brochures for the upcoming panels when soon Charlie joined him.

"Hey, room for one more?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, hey thank you so much for your help with the speech and everything."

"Of course, no problem...so I just broke up with Joey."

"What?"

"I-he's fun and sweet and...but we're so different and he's not...yes, he's loyal and but he is so different from me. He doesn't want to be here."

"No, probably not."

"And another thing….I think...I think I'm falling for someone else."

"Who?"

"Ross."

Ross let out a sigh. He knew she was referring to him but it just did not feel right.

"You just broke up with my best friend."

"I know and I know it's all weird but…."

Ross leaned and kissed Charlie. He wasn't sure if he was crossing a line but he wanted to kiss her. They had broken up and he wanted to be with Charlie. It had been building up ever since he met her. He and Rachel weren't even trying to fix themselves, maybe it was a sign. A sign he was meant to be with Charlie.

When they returned home a week later, he kept thinking about Charlie and Joey and Rachel. Was this okay? He kept second guessing himself. Maybe being with Charlie was wrong? Joey showed up at his place about an hour after they returned home with other news, Joey and Rachel had kissed in Barbados. After Charlie and Joey broke up, Joey went to Rachel and the two kissed.

"I think we're gonna try something," Joey said, sitting on Ross' couch.

"Really?"

"You're with Charlie, right? I caught you two kissing," Joey said.

"Oh G-d, I'm sorry Joe-"

"It's alright. Come on, she makes far more sense with you."

"So you and Rachel are…."

"I don't know, but I want your permission. I'm not going to pursue this if you're not okay with it," Joey said.

"I'm not fine."

"Oh."

"But...you know, I'm gonna have to be. What about Lizzie?"

"I don't wanna tell her until it's something. I just...I don't really want to."

"I understand."

"I don't know if this will lead to something, Ross, or we're just messing around. Maybe I'll end up as another casualty like everyone else you two date but I-"

"You can try," Ross said. "I like Charlie and maybe...Rachel and I keep trying but maybe it's time to just….let go. It's been six years, you know and it's not working. We keep making all these promises and we have rings and...maybe we need to stop trying so hard."

Joey nodded when there was a knock at the door. Ross got up to answer it and there stood Rachel, holding Emma and looking at them both.

"Hey," Ross said as he took Emma from Rachel and stepped inside.

"I'm gonna go," Joey said, getting up.

"Stay," Ross said.

"No, you two need to talk," Joey said as he walked out the door. Ross walked towards Emma's crib and gently placed her down before letting out a sigh and looking at her.

"So, you're dating Joey?" Ross asked.

"Well, you're dating Charlie," Rachel tried.

"Yeah...I guess...I…but Joey," Ross said as he sat on the couch. Rachel sat next to him.

"I'm sorry. I-it just happened and….I don't know if anything will come of it but….I'm sorry."

"Should we stop?" Ross asked.

"Stop what?" Rachel asked, confused. Ross kept looking at the floor.

"Joey and I were talking and I realized that you and I broke up six years ago and we've spent six years trying to fix us and maybe….maybe this is it? Maybe we're just going to be best friends that have a child."

"You really think we're done with us?" Rachel asked.

Ross couldn't look at her. He couldn't do this. Maybe they needed to break up….for good.

"I don't know. I mean, do you we think we should close that chapter?" Ross asked.

"I-well-do you like Charlie?"

"I do."

"Do you wanna see if it works with her?"

"I do and you wanna see if it works with Joey?" Ross asked.

"I wanna explore it. It might be nothing, but I wanna explore it. Oh my G-d," Rachel said as she began to cry.

"Why are you crying?'

"I feel like we're breaking up."

"Maybe we need to? Maybe we finally need to move on? We have to... and….you know, I know I once said that I'll hate any guy you date. I take it back. Joey's a good guy and if it does work…."

"I love you, Geller," Rachel said.

"Feeling will always be mutual."

"I don't want to close the Ross and Rachel saga though," Rachel said.

"I don't want to either but do you think it's time?"

"I don't know."

"It's just...you and I...we've left casualties. Julie, Emily, Bonnie, Tag, Joshua and I like Charlie and Joey's one of my closest friends and I don't want either one of them to become a casualty in the Ross and Rachel drama. We've hurt people, Rach and I don't want them to get hurt because of us. So maybe...what do we do?" Ross asked.

"End us?" Rachel asked to which Ross looked at her and shrugged.

Rachel began to cry as Ross grabbed her hand. She rested her head on his shoulder as he thought back to the last six years with Rachel. He thought about his life with Rachel. He had so badly wanted to be with her and kept failing. Maybe the reason they couldn't get it right was that they weren't meant to get it right.

His relationship with Charlie was short lived. They dated for about six months and by November, it was over. Joey and Rachel's relationship was short lived as well and by the end of 2003, both were once again single. Joey wanted to try with Lizzie and focus his attention on getting to know her and Ross wasn't sure what he wanted. He wasn't sure what Rachel wanted. After their last discussion, they had just sort of gone around the topic or avoided it completely. It was working, them just being parents who weren't together.

By that January, things were just going how they were supposed to go. He wasn't sure he should even broach the topic of them being together. They had put an end to it and there had been so much drama surrounding them that maybe it would be easy if they just remained as is or maybe that's just how it was all meant to be.

They were celebrating Joey's thirty sixth birthday that January and they were also awaiting news from Monica and Chandler. They had gone to Ohio to visit with a woman who wanted to give her child up for adoption. So the group which now included Mike sat and waited. It was a very tame birthday.

"I can't believe she's twenty months old," Rachel said cooing over Emma. While Joey, Mike and Phoebe were sitting by the counter, snacking. Rachel and Ross were playing with Emma.

"She looks more and more like you every single day."

"Thank G-d," Rachel joked.

"I know," Ross grinned. "You know, I talked to Chandler and he okayed it, but we think she's ready to watch Jurassic Park."

"No. Are you kidding?"

"I walked in last week and Chandler was showing Emma the lynching scenes in Birth of a Nation."

"Wow, they're going to take our child away from us," Rachel mused.

"Just a matter of time," Ross said. "Parents of the Year."

"Seriously."

"Hey, do you think it's okay that I invited Lizzie?" Joey asked.

"I think it is," Rachel said.

"I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I haven't seen her since college," Ross said, before stopping. He had gotten so used to lying about having not spoken to Lizzie that it was almost a force of habit. Rachel gave him a confused look as he shook his head. Everyone knew, there was no reason to hide it any longer.

"It's going to be so awkward," Joey said.

"I don't think so. I mean, Chandler and Lizzie broke up fifteen years ago because she cheated on him with you and had your kid. Chandler is married to Monica who he's loved forever, even when he was dating Lizzie….I think enough time has passed. It's gonna be fine and tomorrow when you boys go to the Knicks game, Mon, Pheebs and I will take her to lunch and talk," Rachel said.

"Everything will end up the way it's supposed to," Phoebe said.

"Exactly," Rachel said as she turned back to Emma.

"You know, we're a very incestuous group," Ross mused as he let Rachel's words sink in. They really had become so close over the years that he was pretty sure everyone had kissed everyone.

"Yep...it's only a matter of time before we find you and Monica locked in an embrace," Rachel said.

"Never say things like that again," Ross said as she laughed.

"So sorry...by the way, you've talked to Lizzie since college. Seriously?"

"Habit...sorry, I've gotten so used to saying I haven't talked to her that I keep forgetting that we all know," Ross said.

"It will be awkward. She hated me," Rachel said.

"You put her toothbrush in the toilet," Ross said.

"I did not. I did kick her out of her bed though. She claimed the best bed in the cabin….it was mine. It doesn't make me a bitch, just makes me driven," Rachel said.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Rachel laughed as she playfully smacked him. He laughed as well as they continued to look at Emma when the door open and Monica and Chandler walked in. Everyone glanced at them as Chandler was holding a giant basket and practically beaming.

"Hey, guys," Monica said.

"Happy birthday, man," Chandler said, handing Joey a giant basket filled with what Ross could see as "old people" items: adult diapers, Metamucil and other "old people" things.

"Thanks, asshole," Joey said.

"You're welcome, buddy," Chandler said.

"Wait, wait...Mon," Rachel said, getting up and walking towards her. Ross picked up Emma and followed Rachel towards the kitchen where everyone was.

"We got the kid, we're gonna be parents," Monica said as Phoebe and Rachel immediately got up and ran to her, hugging her and squealing. Chandler joined the guys at the table.

"Congrats," Mike said.

"Welcome to the dad club," Ross said.

"Thanks, let me have my niece," Chandler said reaching for Emma. Ross handed her over. Chandler placed Emma on his lap as she turned her face up and smiled at him. He smiled back and made a face which made her giggle happily.

"Mo...mo..." Emma said, clapping her hands together.

"My youngest fan," Chandler said.

"She loves her uncle," Rachel said.

"I can't believe you are going to be a father," Mike said.

"Me neither," Chandler said.

"Yeah, it is difficult to believe...the same man who spent most of college wasted is going to have someone call him dad," Ross joked.

"Hmmmm, and one day Emma's going to wonder how she was was born and I will be there to tell her that she was the product of a broken condom and a bottle of wine," Chandler mused before looking at Emma, "yes, you were...weren't you?"

"You tell her that and I can take your child to his or her grandfather's drag shows," Ross said.

"I'll be doing that myself thank you very much," Chandler said, "I'll be taking Emma with me. You wanna see drag queens, Em?"

"No. She doesn't," Rachel said. "G-d, you two will be amazing parents."

"I can't believe this is going to actually happen for us," Monica said.

"I know...alright, alright...I wanna talk about other things. What are we doing for Joey's 63rd birthday?" Chandler asked, grinning.

"Thank you," Joey said.

"Oh, don't worry Joe...I got it in college all the time because, oh wait...because I'm six months younger than you Bing," Ross said.

"See, I told you one day you'd have the upper hand," Chandler said when the front door intercom buzzed. They all stared at each other awkwardly and looked over at Chandler and Monica. It really should not have felt this bizarre but maybe because Lizzie had not been in the same room with Chandler and Ross for a long time or that it was Lizzie being introduced into the group? It was a strangeness, it was almost as if including Lizzie meant that the group was officially complete. She even came with her own "it's complicated" relationship baggage with Ross, Joey and Chandler.

"Who is that?" Chandler asked.

"I'll let them in," Rachel said walking towards the keypad and pressing the button, "hello."

"Hi, it's Lizzie...and Lauren," came the voice through the intercom. Rachel buzzed them in and then quickly retreated to her room. Ross wondered what she was doing but his attention was refocused on Chandler.

Lizzie and Lauren are in town?" Chandler asked.

"I invited them. I wanted to spend my birthday with them. I should right? I know I should have said something but-"

"It's alright, Joe," Chandler said.

"It's just...I don't know why this is all so awkward," Joey said as the doorbell rang. When Joey opened the door, Lizzie and Lauren stood in the doorway. Lizzie looked pretty much the same. She really did look exactly like Monica with her jet black hair and crystal blue eyes which made him feel momentarily disgusted that he has hooked up with someone who looked like his sister. Lauren had gotten taller, her black hair falling down her back. She looked like a teenager. No one really was quite sure what to say to each other when Rachel walked out of her room holding a cellophane wrapped toothbrush.

"Lizzie, welcome," Rachel said.

"Rachel Green?" Lizzie said.

"Yes, I bought you a present," Rachel said as she handed Lizzie the toothbrush, "Welcome to New York."

Lizzie laughed, as did everyone else...at least everyone familiar with the whole prank. Lauren looked confused.

"Thank you, Rachel," Lizzie said. "And I told Chandler the truth. You did not drop a toothbrush in the toilet at camp. I did."

"You did?" Lauren asked.

"It doesn't matter, Rach. I would have pranked you anyway. You were obnoxious," Chandler said.

"I was not," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you kinda were," Ross said.

"Bite me, Gellar. You had a shrine to me in your bedroom," Rachel said, glaring at him.

"Welcome, see I told you it wouldn't be awkward," Joey said.

"I guess, hi Ross," Lizzie said as Ross got up to walk towards her. The two hugged.

"Hi, great to see you," Ross said. It really had missed her.

"Great to see you too. How's Carol?" Lizzie asked.

"She's a lesbian," Ross said.

"Well...that's nice," Lizzie said.

Ross laughed, as he gave her a look, "you know that."

"I know, I really don't know what to say, I just-" Lizzie said as Chandler approached her and put his arm around her.

"I don't know why this should be so awkward for you Liz," Chandler said, "I mean, just 'cause you're hanging out with your ex-boyfriend, your friend with benefits and your baby daddy….how can it be-oh, I see. Hey, anyone wanna go to Wendy's?"

Leave it to Chandler to destroy any awkwardness with a joke. The group began cracking up as Lizzie elbowed him in the ribs.

"I apologize for my husband….he's just, well, you know-" Monica said.

"I know but...you know, you did a good job," Lizzie said.

"We both did a good job," Monica said.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this budding friendship," Chandler said.

"Come on, I want you to meet Emma," Rachel said as she took Emma from Chandler and grabbed Lizzie's arm, pulling her off. Monica and Phoebe followed as Ross noticed Lauren still standing by the front door. He walked towards her as she kept staring at the ground.

"I don't know what to say," Lauren said. "I feel like I'm in a weird time warp."

"You kind of are and don't worry, Chandler and I will fill you in on all the weird stuff about your dad," Ross said.

"I can do that too," Mike said.

The awkwardness did fade as the group sat for dinner which was take out. Monica had not been able to cook, of course, so they ordered pizzas which Joey was perfectly okay with. Looking around the table, it really was a new group. They were now couples. Everyone was paired up with who they were supposed to be paired up with. He and Rachel kept exchanging glances throughout the evening and it became an unspoken truth, they needed to figure out how to reconnect.

Later on, the group sat around the living eating cake as Lauren watched Emma from the couch. The ease of everything just felt so natural.

"Good joke earlier, Green," Ross said as he sat next to her.

"Thank you. Chandler approved."

"That's important. So you didn't drop someone's toothbrush in the toilet?"

"No," Rachel said.

"And you were okay with people believing you did?" Ross asked.

"Well, it wouldn't have...it wouldn't-Chandler, would you have you believed me if I had said I hadn't dropped the toothbrush in the toilet?" Rachel asked.

"No. I still think you're lying," Chandler said.

"Didn't you also have sex with two different guys at that camp?" Monica asked, grinning from ear to ear. Ross' eyes widened, although this was yet another high school rumor that he vaguely remembered.

"There is a thirteen year old over there," Rachel said, pointing to Lauren.

"That's okay, I'm not really listening," Lauren said.

"You had sex with two guys at camp?" Ross asked, also grinning at her. He loved playing with her.

"Okay, one of those guys in that was him," Rachel said pointing at Chandler, "and that's just gross."

"Hey," Monica said.

"Yeah, hey," Lizzie said.

Rachel opened her mouth, looked at both Lizzie and Monica and let out an annoyed sigh.

"I can't get out of this one," Rachel said.

"Not looking good," Ross said.

"I'm feeling uncomfortable," Mike joked.

"Me too," Phoebe said.

"I did not have any sort of sex at camp. I really want that rumor to die," Rachel said.

"Why? It makes you seem worldly and mature," Phoebe said.

"It makes me look like an eleven year old whore," Rachel said.

"That too," Phoebe said.

"I think I remember you, Lizzie," Mike said.

"You do?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah, I went to high school with Chandler," Mike said.

"Oh, yeah. I was there a lot," Lizzie said. "I think you made me hide in your hamper once when there was some room check."

"No, there was no room check. I just wanted to see if you could fit in my hamper," Chandler joked. "But I did make Tyler sleep in the common room sometimes."

"You made me do that in college," Ross said.

"Yep, I fancied myself quite the stud in high school and college," Chandler said,

"Then I moved in and facade came crashing down," Joey said.

"Exactly," Chandler said.

"Wait, you could have invited me back to your dorm in high school?" Phoebe asked, staring at Chandler. "I could have met Mike earlier. I could've gotten off the streets earlier, Bing."

"I didn't know you were homeless," Chandler said. "If I had known then I would have taken you home, given you food and a shower but you wouldn't have fit in my hamper. You're tall."

"Wait, Phoebe….you really were homeless?" Lizzie asked.

"And a thief," Rachel said.

"Get off the damn phone and pay attention to what's going on around you," Phoebe joked.

"Don't steal my stuff," Rachel said.

"Wait...back then or now because if we're talking now…." Phoebe said.

"Oh, no, no, back then. Now, you can steal my stuff," Rachel said, laughing.

"Phew, good...'cause you have a jacket that I took four months ago and you're not getting it back," Phoebe said.

"I know….I bought another one," Rachel said.

"Actually, I took the new one. You might need to buy another one," Monica said.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I have a couple pairs of your boots you're also not getting back."

"I have some of your tops," Monica said.

"Okay, both of you...stop," Rachel said.

"You need to keep better track of your stuff," Ross teased.

"But Phoebe, you were homeless? Chandler, you owe me a million dollars. Remember? We went out after that movie and you told me about this girl who was hungry and looked homeless and I bet you a million dollars she was homeless and you were like, no she wasn't. Pay up," Lizzie said.

"Your boyfriend owes me over two hundred grand," Chandler said to which all eyes landed on Joey who seemed a little uncomfortable.

"We have a very special relationship," Joey said.

"I thought you said you spent more on me?" Phoebe asked.

"Trust fund wise. Actual out of pocket money, Tribbiani," Chandler said.

"I thought our friendship was worth more than money. I mean, if I had that kind of money, I would have spent it on you...because we're friends and brothers," Joey said.

"I hate it when you do that," Chandler said.

"'Cause it always works," Joey said.

"Fuck," Chandler muttered and the laughter continued. It was an evening that just seemed so perfect, so wonderfully drama-free. They relived old memories, brought up old stories and made new ones. It was simply the perfect evening and as it wore down, as he left for the evening and lay in bed that night, he thought of the ring in the safe and the ring Rachel had in the box under bed and he wondered if the time had come to finally just go there.


	57. Chapter 57

**2004 Part 1**

So much was changing, a thought that sunk in as Chandler was showing off the home he and Monica had purchased in Westchester. They were officially moving out of the apartment and into a house in the suburbs. Chandler was walking him down the halls, showing off rooms as if he were a museum tour guide.

"So this will be Monica and I's room and-and-our child's room over here and this is the best part, follow me…." Chandler said motioning him towards a room right by the stairwell. "My man cave," he said, waving his arm around the room.

"Man cave?"

"Yeah, yeah...I'm gonna get lots of really tall book shelves things and I'm gonna put all my movies on them. I'm still in the process of switching from VHS to DVD. Hopefully, I'll never have to switch again because it's a pain in the ass but I mean, yeah, all my movies will go here and then I'm gonna have a big screen and a video game console and then a big couch or barcaloungers-"

"Nice. Monica's letting you do that?" Ross asked.

"I get one room This is it. Everything she hates is going in here."

"Score."

"I know right. Mon can do what she wants with the rest of the house and she has specific ideas for the nursery, so I'll just step back."

"Has it hit you yet? That you're gonna be a dad?"

"No. Probably, not till we get the child."

"What did you say?" Ross asked, noticing Chandler suddenly feeling uncomfortable by the question. Monica had confided him. She had told him that she had lied to Erica. Their jobs were listed wrong and she went with it out of desperation. Chandler ran after Erica and told her something that eventually changed Erica's mind. Ross wanted to know what was said.

"Nothing, it's-"

"I wanna know."

Chandler let out an annoyed sigh as he leaned against a wall and slid down, Ross sat next to him. The room was empty at the moment and Ross could imagine it being filled with everything his brother in law loved.

"Alright, on the adoption papers it had said Monica was a priest and I was surgeon-"

"Terrifying."

"You know, Rachel said that too. It's not terrifying."

"It's terrifying."

"Your sister went with it and...I knew why she was doing it. She was desperate and-okay, remember when I drove Rachel and Monica back home after that party at our dorm."

"Yeah."

"Monica was in the passenger's seat and she was talking about how she hated my car-"

"She hated Sally? How could anyone hate Sally?"

"Well, she said it wasn't child friendly. She was seventeen. Who says that at seventeen?"

"My sister."

"Exactly and I knew even then...that was was the only thing she ever wanted and when we found out we couldn't, she was so sad and...I told Erica that-that Monica was meant to be a mom and she's always been a mom without a kid. I talked to her and….look at what she's done, you know? She's taken care of all of us. We're going to Phoebe's wedding and your sister gave Phoebe her very first home in ten years. Remember how she decorated it?"

"Remember how she wanted us to help but then yelled at us for doing it wrong?"

"Yeah...but we weren't much help. I-I wanted her to have that."

"Wow. You know, it's funny. When we first met, I really thought you were an ass and there were so many times, I was ready to just give up. I'm so proud and honored to call you my brother-in-law."

"Thanks man...so you think Mon will let me watch porn in here."

"Why must you ruin the moments?"

"It's a curse and speaking of my wife….and Rachel...where are they?" Chandler asked, looking around. All four had come in together but had separated. While Chandler and Ross had been chatting away, Rachel and Monica had seemingly vanished but Ross knew. He knew as soon as he noticed Monica pulling a box of Twinkies out of her purse, where they vanished to. Ross motioned for Chandler to follow him.

"I know where they are. Where's the kitchen again?" Ross asked as they began making their way down the stairs. "While we were growing up, Monica and Rachel would disappear to the pantry with a box of Twinkies and we wouldn't see 'em for hours."

"Hmmm, I just used my theater if I wanted to disappear," Chandler said, grinning a little.

"That's nice. So, let me ask, with parents like yours...you ever watch porn in there?" Ross asked.

"No."

"Really?" Ross asked.

"I-it's not important," Chandler said, sounding rather upset. Ross laughed as they walked into the kitchen and towards the pantry. Chandler opened the pantry door to reveal Monica and Rachel hugging and crying. The two women looked up at the boys with tears in their eyes.

"You know, it's moments like these when I wish Joey was with me. He'd have the perfect inappropriate comment," Chandler said.

"You can tell me," Ross said.

"No, I really can't," Chandler said.

"Boys, go away. You're not allowed in here," Rachel said.

"No, we're coming in. You kept me out of these sessions for years. Let's go in," Ross said as he and Chandler walked into the pantry. Chandler squeezed in next to Monica as Ross squeezed in next to Rachel. There was definitely not enough room for all four to fit in there.

"Why the pantry?" Chandler asked.

"It's where the snacks are," Monica said.

"Yeah, we weren't super rich. We didn't have a movie theater in our homes to escape to like some people," Rachel said.

"I loved that theater. Mon said I could have a man cave, I'm so excited," Chandler said.

"You did?" Rachel asked.

"I figured I'll give him one room for his crap and I get the rest of the house," Monica said.

"You are so maturing," Rachel said.

"I know it, right?" Monica said.

"You know that isn't fully compromising, right?" Chandler asked.

"Yes it is, shut up," Monica said.

"I can't believe you two aren't going to be next door," Ross said.

"Why don't you take the place? It's still in Nana's name," Monica said.

"No, I can't. It wouldn't feel right. It's yours," Ross said.

"Oh wait….Chandler, our lunches? Are those going to end?" Rachel asked.

"No, I'm commuting. They're not ending," Chandler said.

"Good," Rachel said. "But still...I don't want you guys leaving."

"Well, if you and Ross get married and you run out on that wedding, you can totally come live with us," Chandler offered.

"Awww, thank you," Rachel said.

"If we get married, you're not running out," Ross said.

"You know I enjoy jogging in pretty clothes," Rachel said, grinning. Ross laughed as he placed an arm around Rachel. The joking felt easy and soon he just could not stop thinking about marriage. They had been through so much, there had been so many twists and turns and now it was just them. Everyone else was moving on. Everyone else had found their other half and Ross and Rachel had been each other's other half for awhile, it just took some time to get right.

Phoebe's wedding was next. It was a freezing February and everyone was looking forward to this wedding. There was something so wonderful about her getting married. She got normal. It was an ending to Phoebe's story that he was pretty sure Phoebe herself never even imagined. Joey was officiating the wedding, Chandler was walking her down the aisle, Monica was Maid of Honor, Rachel was a Bridesmaid and he would be walking Rachel down the aisle.

"You guys ready?" Ross asked, walking into Central Perk. Rachel, Monica and Phoebe were hugging each other and crying. They all stopped and stepped away from each other.

"Yeah, wait," Phoebe said as she took off her long jacket revealing a long, lavender gown. She threw her jacket onto the counter. Ross and Chandler exchanged a look and looked back at Phoebe. She looked stunning in her long gown and blonde curls framing her face. He momentarily lost his breath as he stared at her. Yes, he had seen Phoebe look pretty before and when she dressed up, she definitely knew how to make herself look good but in that moment, she practically glowed.

"Wow," Chandler said.

"You're gonna freeze," Monica said.

"I don't care, I'm getting normal and besides, I'll just be my something blue," Phoebe said. "One more hug?"

"Yes. Oh, you look gorgeous," Rachel said as the three hugged again as Mike's brother walked into Central Perk to let them know the ceremony was indeed starting. Ross walked towards Rachel and Monica walked towards Mike's brother, but not before squeezing Chandler's arm and giving him a kiss. Rachel let out a sigh as she looked at the entrance to Central Perk.

"You okay?" Ross asked.

"Our first kiss was in that doorway. Everything changed after that kiss," Rachel said.

"One of my favorite moments," Ross said as he held out his arm and Rachel linked her arm in his. It was that moment in the rain that had started it all. That moment that had kicked off the ten year long emotional roller coaster and he did not regret a single moment. They slowly began to walk towards the door with Monica and Mike's brother in front of them and Phoebe and Chandler behind them.

"You know what I realized," Chandler said.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Ross and Rachel have walked down the aisle together how many times now?" Chandler asked. Rachel turned around and gave Chandler a look.

"This will be their third time. The drunk marriage in Vegas, your wedding and now….this will be their third. Hmmm, so when do you think they'll do it again?" Phoebe asked.

Ross let out a snort and tried to hold back his laughter as he knew Phoebe and Chandler were indeed having fun at their expense. He didn't mind, they had earned the mocking of Chandler and Phoebe and he'd gladly let them have their fun. The six of them truly were a family. The kind of incestuous family where everyone sleeps with each other, but still a family.

"I don't know, Pheebs but you and I will sing a song. What should we sing?" Chandler asked.

"You Drive Me Crazy by Britney Spears," Phoebe said.

"Oooo, can I do the dancing?" Chandler asked.

"Duh, you're gonna have to. I'm gonna be playing the guitar," Phoebe said.

"I'm really glad you two are back to being friends," Rachel said.

"We're making fun of you two, that's our bond," Phoebe said.

"Yeah, don't mess that up, Green," Chandler said.

It was funny, listening to the two of them. Rachel seemed to find it funny as well. The laughter stopped as they stood in doorway, already feeling the bitter cold. The night was amazing but the coldness seeped through every part of him. He wondered how Phoebe was holding up, really tempted to race back in and grab her coat.

"It's our turn," Ross said as they walked outside. He took a deep breath which hurt his lungs.

"When will it be our turn?" Rachel asked as they walked. "Phoebe is right. Third time."

Ross look at her, "are you….wait, really?"

Was she being serious? Was she really ready to try as badly as he was?

"I haven't given up on us yet, have you?"

"No. But can we have our wedding in warmer weather….and inside?" Ross asked.

"Oh G-d yes," Rachel said as they reached the front and separated. Rachel stood next to Monica and Ross stood behind Mike. He watched as Chandler walked Phoebe down the aisle, not being able to stop taking his eyes off her. No one could, Ross kept staring at each of them. The world they had created for themselves. They really had been there for each other. They had truly made a family. They had been there for each other through the darkest and lightest moments and had conquered everything together, they had truly been each other's rock.

As Joey officiated the ceremony, Ross kept watch. He could never have imagined himself friends with a guy like Joey. He had a past, he knew people that could kill others without batting an eye but there was no other more loyal friend. He knew Joey would protect any of them, would go to bat for any of them and if someone ever messed with them, he'd be there with the bat. He looked over at Chandler, now sitting in one of the fold-out chairs. Chandler was a mess when he had first met him. He was funny but Ross had never imagined their friendship would have lasted this long, but Ross was more than impressed with his brother-in-law. He was in awe of his strength, how he changed everything. He looked at Phoebe, beaming from ear to ear and he could not help but start to tear up. This was a woman who had seen way too much heartache, experienced way too much pain and had survived things that would have broken many others but it was that laugh, that smile, that optimism and drive and taking every opportunity she got. Monica had given Phoebe a home. His sister, he really never thought he would end up considering his sister his closest friend. This group was Monica's. They were the six because of Monica. She was the glue and now that she and Chandler were moving, he couldn't help but wonder if they would still remain the six or may now the eight. Mike and Lizzie were officially part of the group. His eyes landed on Rachel. He wanted them to be up there as husband and wife. He wanted it to officially be their turn. There was no one else who got him more and no one else he enjoyed more. He had watched her completely transform into something incredible and in that moment, there was no other person. Rachel was simply it.

Of course, leave it life to throw a wrench their way. Phoebe and Mike had married and were planning on opening a lounge in Nashville to rival Bluebird Cafe. There was a possibility of Joey moving to Los Angeles. He and Lizzie were both in Los Angeles auditioning for roles and if they both got the parts they had auditioned for, they both would be moving to Los Angeles. Then there was Rachel. Rachel had gotten fired from her job at Ralph Lauren and ended getting another job at Louie Vutton but there was a catch. The job was in Paris. It sent Ross into a tailspin. Could he move to Paris? Could he convince Rachel to stay?

"I don't want her to leave. If she leaves..." Ross began as he sat with Chandler, eating pizza at one of their favorite places. He kept rambling and knew he was repeating his words but it didn't matter. They needed to be repeated.

"I know."

"I know Rachel and I have had a very unstable relationship. We've gotten together, broken up, gotten together...then broke up again. Married, divorced...had a child...oh my G-d."

There was another flaw in this whole Rachel moving thing. A big flaw. He could move to Paris, he could stay in New York. It felt more and more like he was also choosing between Emma and Ben.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"If she moves, she takes Emma. I'm gonna lose another child. I rarely see Ben and if I lose Emma too...I..I can't..." Ross shook his head. "I want her to..."

"Can I ask you something?" Chandler asked.

"Sure."

"If you two ever did get back together, what would be different?"

"What do you mean?" Ross asked. Chandler sounded tired and Ross was pretty sure he was. While Chandler had changed a lot over the years, his lack of patience was pretty much the same.

"I remember that first day of freshman year and Lizzie and I lying on my bed and we noticed that picture of Rachel in her cheerleading uniform that you had on your wall and we were making fun of it...'cause we both still hated her. We thought oh, you must be dating her. You weren't. You were obsessed with her and you've always been obsessed with her, even when you dated other people. Who did you actually fall for? Rachel...or your fantasy of Rachel and I mean...what would be different now?"

It had been a question that had been asked of him over and over again. Who did he fall for? He had thought about it a lot as well. He had fantasized about Rachel for many years, he had put her on a pedestal but Monica, Phoebe and Chandler and even Lizzie who had only had one run in with her during camp were right. She was awful when they were young. He had just seen someone who was lost, a victim of circumstance but she was never a victim. She was simply a bitch and fake. Maybe that's why Rachel never got mad at the Two Face name, because she knew it was accurate?

"I love her. Yeah, I know I was completely obsessed with her and you're right...she was a bitch in high school. Stuff you didn't even know about...you just knew a little quarter of it...but I thought she was perfect and I know now she's not. I still like her though. She's the mother of my child...she's funny and sweet...and..you know, she convinced us to not give up on you. Even more than Mon, more than anyone. That third time you relapsed? She was still going, we need to stay with you. I...I don't know. It'll be different."

"It better be. Look, here's the thing….my advice? Let it go," Chandler said.

"Let what go?"

"You've hooked with two of my ex-girlfriends. Lizzie and Janice. You've also kissed my mother. Rachel hooked up with my dad and her uncle sexually molested me. I've led a very crazy, fucked up life and if I've learned anything in the past three years….just let all of it go. I don't give a shit anymore. I got my wife who is way out of my league, I got a house, a job I actually like and a kid. Who cares? Who cares whether or not you were on a break or whatever….it's over. Right now, as she is….do you like Rachel Green."

He kept thinking about Chandler's words but he kept coming back to Rachel moving. Yes, he did like her now but did it matter? Had he missed his chance? He kept talking about it, he knew he should probably let Chandler talk or stop but lunch was about that topic and he kept talking about it even as they returned back to the apartment. Monica was packing as they walked in. He had gone on another tangent but he just could not stop himself.

"She's going to go to Paris….Paris. I can't-" Ross said.

"He's been going on non-stop," Chandler said.

Ross plopped down on the couch as Chandler sat in the big chair. Monica looked up from her packing and walked over to the couch to sit next to him.

"Ross, sweetie-" Monica said.

"I don't want her to go. I wanna make this work. It's Rachel," Ross said.

"What would be different?" Monica asked. "If you and Rachel got back together, what would be different?"

"That's what I asked," Chandler said.

"Or...why can't you move to Paris? Maybe you could move to be with her?" Monica asked.

"I can't. My son is here...although, great my son is here. My daughter will move to Paris. So regardless of what I choose, I'm abandoning a child. It will be different," Ross said.

"How? I want specifics. You can't get jealous of her. You've got to trust her and I so hope you know by now that she is not the same person she once was."

"I know she's not. I don't want her leaving. I have wanted her for so long. I keep remembering your Bat Mitzvah. One of my favorite moments with Rachel. We danced...for three minutes. We were like six inches apart and I felt like I saw her for who she was. Who she really wanted to be and remember that night, Mon, during that dance that Rachel wasn't allowed to go to because the store was robbed and she came over?" Ross asked.

"Yeah."

"We had such a good time and we talked about so much and she told me how she hated those girls and she hated how she treated you and she wished she could just be herself but she was too scared to be herself. I know she's not a perfect person but I love her. Not the fantasy. I love that she's spoiled but has the biggest heart. I mean, after what happened at her thirtieth with her uncle...Chandler, she felt so bad," Ross said.

"I know she did," Chandler said.

"I don't want her to leave," Ross said.

"Me neither," Monica said.

Ross let out a sigh as Monica comforted him. He had to stop talking about it. Chandler was getting annoyed that every time he ventured back onto the topic, Chandler threw a packing peanut at his head and the fact that Monica didn't even yell at him to stop made him think that maybe this topic had run it's course.

Over the next few days, he kept his thoughts to himself. Joey had gotten the part in the show he had auditioned for and Lizzie had gotten her part as well so it was official that Joey, Lizzie and Lauren would be moving to Los Angeles and with that he did briefly toy with the idea of moving to Paris, even applying for a job there but at the end of the day he knew he could not do it. He and Rachel had been getting along better though, maybe he would just have to now accept she'd be moving to Paris.

"...he's taking the role," Ross said to Rachel over dinner a few nights later with Emma. They were at a local diner and Ross was discussing Joey.

"What?"

"Joey. He got the part in Seasons. He's moving to Los Angeles with Lizzie and Phoebe and Mike are moving to Nashville and the Bings are moving to Westchester…..and you're going to Paris?"

"I don't know."

"I can't come with you."

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I thought about it. About picking up and moving to Paris with you but I can't abandon Ben but then again if I don't….I'm abandoning Emma and I don't want you to leave. That will be…."

"I understand. But you were thinking about moving to Paris?"

"Well, yeah. I mean….at first, I was thinking of trying to convince your boss at Ralph Lauren to hire you back but…..look, you always say that I only support you when you're struggling. Well now you got an amazing opportuniy and I thought that I would go with you. It might be kinda cool to teach paleontology in Paris. I even applied to a couple jobs. They have a really cool Gallery of Paleontology there….but then I thought about Ben and he's nine and….I can't leave Rachel. But you know, I have summers off and I can stay with you and Emma all summer and during breaks from school."

"Wow…..but Ross, what about us? The story of us? If I move… I can't say goodbye to you and if I move then does that officially end our story? Are we ready to do that because we haven't yet."

"I can't say goodbye to you either, Rach. I don't know my life without you," Ross said although wondering if now he would have to start getting use to it. He didn't want to stand in her way, she had always accused him of not caring about her and maybe he now just had to let her go for as painful as that would be, it would just have to go that way.

A few days later, Rachel had told him to get the others and meet her at a store. He had no clue what was happening and when he asked questions, she just told him to listen. So he did, he grabbed Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Mike, Joey and Lizzie and headed to a vacant store where Rachel was sitting waiting for them with Emma sitting next to her. He was quite confused by what was happening.

"I may have just lost my mind," Rachel said.

"Why?" Ross asked.

"Phoebe and Mike inspired me and-and I was eating lunch with a couple of friends of mine who are designers and they said that if I ever had a store they would sell their designs in my store and...and I thought about that and one of the things I was super good at when I worked at Bloomingdales and even at Ralph Lauren, was cultivating friendships with designers and I'm still friends with those designers and...and I'm insane, I am...but I can't-" Rachel said.

"What are you saying, Rach?" Monica asked.

"I bought a store...this store. I talked to my parents and they helped and I bought a store. I can't...Ross, I can't take Emma away from you and take her to a whole other country. You never see Ben and I know how much that kills you and I can't do that to you but..."

"Rachel...if it's what you want..." Ross said although something struck him as odd. Her parents helped buy the store? That just didn't seem like something either one of Rachel's parents would do. It sounded like something someone else would do, someone with a trust fund and a desire to keep his trust fund a secret would do.

"And I want you, Ross," Rachel said. "Ross, I want us to be together. I can't go and leave...but I can't stay if things are going to be the way they were before. No. You can't get insanely jealous if I work late or if I have to travel. I want this to be right...I wanna take this risk...if Phoebe and Mike are taking a risk, then I will too but-but this relationship needs to be a healthy one...no more craziness and no more...just no more-"

Ross walked over to her and immediately kissed her. She stared at Ross and smiled at him as she kissed him back. They kept kissing, holding onto one another and when they finally separated, Ross noticed the rest of the group had left the store, leaving them alone.

"Rach-"

"And another thing," she reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring box, "I'm ready. When you ask, I will say yes. All you have to do is ask."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want a family. I don't wanna start over again. I don't know my life without you in it and I don't want to know it. I don't want you with anyone else and our story should have a happy ending. We've earned it. Emma deserves it. I wanna have more kids with you and I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you."

"I want you too. It's always been you, Rach," He took the ring from her, put it in his pocket and kissed her. She picked up Emma and Ross grabbed her hand. They walked out the store and saw Monica and Chandler talking.

"Hey," Rachel said.

"It wasn't her parents that helped with the store, was it?" Ross asked, Chandler looked over at Rachel.

"I didn't tell him a thing," Rachel said.

"Thank you," Ross said as he and Chandler hugged.

"No, thank you," Chandler said, "and Rach, you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, I wanna be with my family. I mean, I spent so much of my life wanting a family...wanting to be surrounded by people that loved me for my crazy self. People I can be myself around without judgment and I found it in you guys and I can't leave that. I wouldn't have asked for the money if I felt like I was being forced. I wanna do this. I may need help. Monica, I may need you to make lists."

"I will totally do that," Monica said.

"I know," Rachel said as she let go of Ross' hand and hugged Monica. The two women, crying as they held onto each other. Ross stepped towards Chandler.

"It's gonna be different now," Ross said.

"I know," Chandler said.

"Joey told me you're gonna be his best man whenever he and Liz get married," Ross said.

"Hmmm, yes," Chandler said. "Sorry."

"That's alright, it's how it should be."

Chandler nodded as Ross patted Chandler on the back. Monica, still holding Emma, began walking off with Rachel beside her. Chandler and Ross following closely behind. That night, Ross put the other ring into the safe. He would propose and they were officially going to be a family.


	58. Chapter 58

**2004 Part 2: FINALE**

Rachel's thirty fourth birthday was Monica and Chandler's new house in Westchester. Phoebe and Mike and Joey and Lizzie had decided not to leave until after Rachel's birthday. Rachel and Ross arrived by cab with two year old Emma and nine year old Ben in tow, after all this birthday would also include introducing Emma and Ben to their brand new cousins, Jack and Erica. There had been a mistake with the sonogram. Monica and Chandler's surrogate had thought she was only having one child but instead she was having twins. It seemed so bizarre to him now, their parties would now always involve kids. They were now all becoming families. Ross took in the large home. It was pure suburbia, this home of his sister and brother-in-law. White picket fence, cul-de-sac, suburbia and it did seem a little strange, even more so when Rachel stopped him from opening the door.

"I think we have to knock now?" Rachel asked.

"We haven't done that in ten years," Ross said.

"I know," Rachel said as Ross not only knocked but rang the doorbell. He did even try turning the knob, but the door was indeed locked. When had that ever happened? Chandler opened the door and grinned at them while drinking a Red Bull.

"Hey," Chandler said, ushering them inside. Emma immediately reached for Chandler as they stepped inside.

"We knocked on your door, man," Ross said as he gave Chandler a hug.

"I know, I know," Chandler said.

"And rang your bell," Rachel said as they hugged as well. Rachel gave him a quick peck on the cheek as Emma wriggled in her arms, reaching for Chandler.

"Unca Channa," Emma said.

"Hey,niece," Chandler said, taking her from Rachel. "Ben, come on. I have something to show you. You're gonna find this awesome."

"What?" Ben asked.

"My man cave is ready," Chandler said.

"What's a man cave?" Ben asked.

"It's amazing. Joey and Mike are up there playing video games now," Chandler said.

"Wait, are Joey's favorite books up there?" Ross asked, giving Chandler a look.

"No, I hid those under the couch. I'm a dad now," Chandler said as they walked through the hallway and up the stairs. It had Monica's touches everywhere. It felt very grown up, very much like a family home. Chandler stopped at a bedroom decorated in different shades of pink and blue. Emma and Jack's names were painted on the walls and surrounding the two newborns were Phoebe, Lizzie, Lauren and Monica.

"Guess who knocked," Chandler said.

"I know. Apparently, we have to do that now," Monica said as she walked towards Rachel and Ross, hugging them and leading them toward the sleeping infants.

"They are so cute," Rachel said.

"Babies," Emma said, pointing.

"I know, you were once that small," Chandler said, looking at her.

"Can I go play?" Ben asked.

"I guess the moment is over," Chandler said, handing Emma back to Rachel as he, Ross and Ben walked out of the room towards Chandler's man cave. The room looked amazing now. There were movies lining the walls, in alphabetical order which made Ross laugh a little. His sister had rubbed off on Chandler. There was a big comfty couch where Joey and Mike were playing Fallout on a big screen television. Ben walked towards them and sat in between them. Joey handed Ben another controller as he and Mike reset the game to make it a three person game. There were Kings and Rangers posters lining the walls and a foosball machine.

"This is amazing," Ross said.

"Want a Red Bull? I got a machine off E-Bay," Chandler said pointing and walking towards the giant Red Bull machine, opening it and grabbing another one.

"Oh my G-d."

"I know, right. Monica hates this room."

"I bet. I do love that your movies are in alphabetical order."

"I blame Monica."

"That's how I go through life," Ross joked.

Chandler laughed as they joined Joey, Ben and Mike on the couch. The evening was filled with laughter and long discussions about well, moving. Everyone seemed to be moving. There would be a series of painful goodbyes as they moved on to the next part of their lives. Joey and Lizzie had found a home in Los Angeles. Phoebe and Mike had found a place in Nashville and of course Monica and Chandler were in the suburbs. It began to dawn on him that he and Rachel were the only ones left, the only ones left in the city. Never again would the six of them be able to just meet in a coffee house or just randomly drop into each other's homes. Now, they would need to actually make appointments.

After the party, lying next to Rachel, he kept trying to read. He kept staring at the words on the page but could not concentrate. He kept thinking about where they were and he felt almost stuck. It didn't feel right living there anymore. He had loved this apartment. He had loved living in the city but now it didn't seem to fit.

"Should we move?" Rachel asked, looking over at him.

"What?" Ross asked, putting his book down and looking at her. Had she been reading his mind?

"Well, I love this apartment. I do. But it's yours and pretty soon Monica and Chandler's apartment will be rented out and I don't wanna see who moves in. I don't wanna see the changes they make and Ben sleeps on the couch when he's here and Emma's getting bigger and….we're the only ones left here. I mean, I know I always said I wanted to stay in the city but...I can't….I don't wanna see what the new people do to Monica and Chandler's apartment because it's going to be ugly."

"That's a given," Ross said. He couldn't even imagine looking out that window into someone else's apartment. He kinda liked that Monica and Chandler were so close.

"We're the only ones left here and going to Central Perk and….they're all gonna be gone."

"Maybe we should move. Where do you wanna move to?" Ross asked.

"I don't know but I want to start fresh. Being here makes me miss them too much."

"Same here," Ross said as he picked up his book and began to read but in the back of his mind, he began to think about houses. He would ask Chandler for the number of his realtor and would start looking. Maybe they could live near the Bings or maybe somewhere else? His thoughts were momentarily interrupted by Rachel laughing. He looked over at her as she was looking at a big white notebook that Monica had given her for her birthday, it was all the stuff needed to run her store.

"What's funny?" Ross asked.

"Oh, Mon thinks I should put my own designs in my store."

"Well, why wouldn't you?" Ross asked.

"'Cause no one will buy them," Rachel said.

"Why wouldn't they?"

"I'm not established. Look at the designers I have," Rachel said, running her finger down the list, "they're established and-"

"Okay….but then you become established too. Rach, you're the boss. Yes, Mon made the notebook but you're the boss. You can do whatever the hell you want," Ross said, "it's pretty exciting."

Rachel kept looking at her notebook as he turned back to his book. He would force Rachel to put her designs in there. It was her store and it was pretty obvious by this point that it was no longer a hobby. It was something she was good at. He would help, he would be there and they would start fresh.

The Six of One Boutique opened for business that August of 2004. Rachel had named it that because she was inspired by the original six. He was kind of amazed by the whole thing. The grand opening was hugely successful. Some of her friends from Ralph Lauren had done an amazing job with publicity. It was a big open space and had a purplish glow from the lights. It was truly hers and it just seemed so inspiring.

"This is amazing," Ross said, standing by the cash register. He was ringing up people. He was having way too much fun.

"I can't believe how many people are here."

"It's a hot store," Ross said.

"I know. Oh, there's Chandler and Monica," Rachel said as she walked towards Chandler and Monica. Ross noticed the two walk in and realized that he actually missed them. He hadn't seen either one all that much in the last few months. Soon, Rachel, Monica, and Chandler appeared by the front counter. He knew almost immediately what Rachel wanted as soon as she approached.

"Hey, can you grab the briefcase behind the counter," Rachel said.

"Will do," Ross said as he grabbed a metal suitcase and placed it on the counter. He had looked all over for this suitcase, wanting one that looked very James Bond. He and Rachel had had a long discussion about Chandler while planning the grand opening. There would be champagne and they did not want their friend to be tempted so they went and found a fancy briefcase and packed it with Chandler's favorite beverage. When he opened it, there were rows of Red Bull.

"Nice," Chandler said.

"You need a drink," Rachel said as Chandler grabbed a Red Bull. "And you know, I'm not letting you touch the champagne."

"Although, now I'm worried you're addicted to Red Bull," Monica said.

"Don't worry….I am," Chandler said, taking a long gulp of Red Bull.

"By the way, you have MySpace," Monica said, shaking her head and looking at Rachel.

"I know. Phoebe has a page too for her and Mike's lounge. I'm in her Top Eight and she's in my Top Eight. Get a page so you can also be in my Top Eight. Apparently, that means something," Rachel said. "And I also ran my security through Pheebs. There are cameras and no one will be able to steal my shit."

"Good," Monica said. "Now, take a moment. This all yours."

"I know. I can't believe….oh G-d," Rachel said, looking around before grabbing Monica's arm and walking off, leaving Ross and Chandler standing by the counter.

"Dude, I'm on MySpace. You should get one. They're kinda fun," Ross said.

"I'm not doing that crap," Chandler said.

"It's fun. You get to do quizzes and you see what everyone is up to."

"I don't wanna know what everyone is up to. So, how is house hunting?"

"Good and I'm also gonna try to plan the marriage proposal."

"What?"

"I think...we've been doing so well and we're sort of in a routine. I wanna propose to her. I want to make this official," Ross said.

"Well, you have experience."

"I have to do something romantic," Ross said.

"Why? It's Rachel."

"Well-"

"Look, you already did two romantic marriage proposals. Right? How did those marriages work out? It's Rachel You've already been married to her and divorced. You have a kid with her, you're now living with her. Why do you need it to be romantic?"

"Yours was romantic."

"Yeah, but we only did it the one time. Just ask her, she already said yes."

"Will you go on MySpace and be in my Top 8?" Ross asked.

"Oh, hell no," Chandler said.

"Come on, join."

"No. It sounds stupid. I don't care."

"Joey is on it and so is Lizzie and Lauren and Phoebe and Mike and...come on-"

"Get away," Chandler said.

"If my sister joins would you join?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, probably but that's 'cause I like her better than any of you," Chandler said.

"Yeah, that we know," Ross said.

"So am I gonna be your Best Man, again?" Chandler asked. "Of course, I am running out of ideas for a bachelor party for you. It better be the last one."

"I promise."

"Pizza Hut?"

"Sounds awesome and you'll probably be my Best Man again."

"Cool."

Ross laughed as he continued to ring people up and began to think about the proposal. Maybe Chandler was right, Ross and Rachel did not need a giant, romantic proposal. They had figured it out. They just needed to make it official. They didn't need any grand gestures or stars in planetariums. They just needed to get on with it.

After the store opened, they fell into a routine. Ross was busy though, in addition to teaching, he was also looking for a home. He thought about telling Rachel that he was looking, she always got mad when he did things regarding their relationship without asking but he wanted this to be a big thing. He wanted to do something. Maybe the house would be the romantic gesture? He knew it would work this time and Rachel was busy. He was so proud of her, even more so when that fall, she had gotten an offer to show at New York Fashion Week. He knew how much that meant to her and just as she had agreed to show, he was was agreeing on something else: A home. He hadn't signed, wanting Rachel's approval first.

He had found the perfect one in Wheatley, New York in Suffolk County which was an hour between Westchester and Manhattan. He would surprise Rachel and Emma by telling them he was taking them for a drive and soon they were in front of a big, beautiful stone home with circular driveway and a perfectly manicured lawn.

"Alright, we're here," Ross said as he parked.

"Here?"

"It's a little far from work for both of us but we can make it work. I haven't signed anything and we can't afford Westchester but….and I know you love the city but…"

"A home?"

"Yeah. You wanna see it?"

Rachel nodded as she got out of the car and stared at the two story home with a white picket fence on Conklin Avenue. Ross appeared next to her, holding Emma. Inside, there was a large kitchen with marble counters. A living room and upstairs were several bedrooms. Big bedrooms.

"Emma this could be your room," Ross said as they walked into one of the rooms.

"Me room?" Emma asked.

"Yep. We can paint it and make it yours. So Rach?"

"Wow", Rachel said as she walked towards one of the windows, "Didn't we leave this world?"

"We did but I think we should come back. Manhattan will always be there and we'll both commute but….."

"The only thing keeping us in Manhattan are our jobs."

"Yeah."

Rachel walked towards Emma and took her from Ross. He watched her as she held their daughter close and walked around the room. This could be their new start. She stopped in front of the window and kept staring as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"So?" Ross asked.

"Yeah. Yes. Let's do it, Let's move to suburbia," Rachel said.

"And one last thing," Ross said reaching into his pocket and pulling out the ring box. It was the ring they had bought together. He had contemplated giving her his grandmother's ring but this one had a special significance. They had chosen this ring with an agreement that when they were ready, they would get married. "You and me. We're starting a home. Right? A family. Will you be my wife and this will be the last time I will ever ask this question."

Rachel laughed as she nodded. Ross slipped the ring on her finger and they shared another kiss.

"Wow."

"What?"

"We did it. We fixed us," Rachel said.

"We did. I am so proud of you and I'm sorry that I was looking at houses without you-"

"It's okay."

"Oh, something else…" Ross said, as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a box of Twinkies and grinned at her. "There's a pantry downstairs."

"I'm not having Twinkies with you. That's cheating," Rachel said, laughing.

"Oh, come on."

"You're a horrible person," Rachel said.

"I wanna one," Emma said, reaching for the box.

"Alright, fine and you explain it to your sister," Rachel said as she walked out of the room with Ross following. They walked towards the kitchen and opened the pantry, both sat inside with Emma sitting between them. Emma and Ross were having a fantastic time although Rachel seemed a little antsy.

"This just feels wrong," Rachel said.

"Yeah, but how's she gonna know? We have to make appointments to see each other now."

"I know. I love Joey's show."

"It's great and I can't believe he bought Chandler a new Corvette."

"I know and I will not put anything out into the universe regarding him crashing it into a house," Rachel said. "G-d, this is gonna be our home. We're gonna have to make new friends."

"We'll make new friends. Probably friends with kids," Ross said.

"Can we make friends that have the exact same personalities as Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Mike, Joey and Lizzie?" Rachel asked.

"Probably not. There's no one else like those guys," Ross said.

"True," Rachel said as they sat, Ross handing her a Twinkie as they began discussing what they would do to the house and how they would decorate. Ross began telling her about the research he had done on schools and activities and stores. Rachel listened intently as he kept talking.

After bringing Emma and Rachel, he wanted to bring Ben. He invited Carol and Susan as well but the trip was really for Ben. He wanted his son to see his new life and to see his room. There was a guest room and Ross wanted it to be for Ben. He wanted it to be exclusively for his son.

"I get my own bedroom," Ben said looking around.

"Yeah. So when you visit…." Ross said, looking over at Carol and Susan. They never had custody arrangments. There were never any court dates or anything set but Ross wanted more time. Carol let out a sigh and gently rubbed his arm, giving him a small smile.

"Okay. I was thinking, every other weekend during the school year, we can alternate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukkah and during the summer when he's not at camp, he can spend the summer here. I will also let you know if has any sports games or any performances at school or anything so you will know when all of those are. I will even let you know when parent-teacher conferences are," Carol said.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright with that," Susan said.

"You hear that Ben," Ross said.

"Yeah, can I put video games in here?" Ben asked.

"Of course and guess what, I proposed," Ross said.

"That's not news," Susan said.

"To Rachel. This is gonna be our house with Emma and if we have other kids and-I think we're gonna make it work this time," Ross said.

"I like that. It's always been you and Rachel," Carol said.

"And Ben, you'll be a groomsman….you wanna be one?" Ross asked.

"Yeah," Ben said. "What do I have to do?"

"Probably walk your aunt down the aisle," Ross said.

"On purpose?" Ben asked.

"Yes. She's gonna be Rachel's bridesmaid," Ross said.

"Not maid of honor?" Carol asked.

"No, I think the girls have a thing. Phoebe will be Rachel's Maid of Honor. Chandler's gonna be my Best Man...again," Ross said.

"Third time?" Susan asked.

"Yes, but this will stick," Ross said.

"You know, he's become a pretty decent guy. I'm glad you didn't listen to me. You know, he sent me a friend request on MySpace," Carol said.

"Yeah, Monica made him join after she joined because Rachel and Phoebe are on it because of Rachel's store and Phoebe's lounge," Ross said. Chandler had very reluctantly signed up after Monica forced him to, he still wasn't really into it.

"This is good," Carol said. "I'm happy for you Ross. I am. I know you're supposed to be with Rachel and I am so happy you two are figuring it out."

"Thanks," Ross said as Carol leaned in to give him a hug. He looked over at Susan who simply rolled her eyes and hugged him as well. He turned to Ben and began to discuss room options with him. He and Ben began talking about decorating tips before going outside to explore the neighborhood. It would be a great place for Ben to spend summers and knowing he would get a set time to see his son finally made his heart burst.

Thanksgiving brought even more news. It had been the first time all of them had been together in six months. Phoebe was now three months pregnant and both Rachel and Monica discovered they were each pregnant. Joey and Lizzie were finally engaged.

"So, I'm gonna have to plan both of your weddings," Monica said, patting both Lizzie and Rachel on the leg as the now group of eight gathered in Monica and Chandler's living room. Erica and Jack were sound asleep in their rooms and little Emma was also fast asleep in Erica's room. Monica was giddy with planning.

"Wouldn't that be weird? You planning my wedding?" Lizzie asked.

"Why would it be weird?" Monica asked.

"I don't know, maybe it's 'cause she's marrying Joey and she's also hooked up with Joey's Best Man and one of Joey's groomsmen," Phoebe said.

"That-that's the reason," Lizzie said, pointing at Phoebe.

"Ewww," Lauren said.

"It'll be fine," Monica said.

"My sister will be my matron of honor, my daughter will be my maid of honor," Lizzie said.

"That's cute," Monica said.

"I thought so. I think that makes up for everything. I'm fourteen, have lived in three different states and until I was twelve, had no clue who my father was but did have his picture over my bed," Lauren said, giving a smirk highlighting her obvious sarcasm. Lizzie laughed as she playfully threw a pillow at Lauren.

"That was an amazing sarcastic comment," Chandler said, "you sure she's not mine?"

"Uh..." Lizzie said, giving Chandler a look and then at Monica who simply nodded as if she understood.

"Ross, Lizzie is sitting too far away. Can you smack my husband upside the head?" Monica said.

"Sure," Ross said and did as told. Chandler looked shocked.

"Thank you," Lizzie said.

"I am so buying you gift certificates to Wendy's," Chandler said.

"Can I ask? How many people know this story?" Lizzie asked and everyone raised their hand. "How do you know Mike?"

"Chandler's told me a like a million times," Mike said.

"And can I say that I know it and really wish I didn't," Lauren said. "I mean like I will never be able to eat at Wendy's for the rest of my life."

"Oh my G-d," Lizzie groaned.

"Don't worry, Liz. Now that Rachel and Ross are stable, they need another relationship to mock a little," Joey said.

"Wait, wait...have we become a stable couple," Rachel said looking over at Ross as the two high fived each other. They really had officially made it. They were actually the stable couple. Monica continued talking wildly about planning weddings and baby showers and soon the guys retreated to Chandler's man cave for more playing. As 2004 turned into 2005, Ross and Rachel rang it in together with Emma and in their new home.

By May of 2005, Phoebe gave birth to a baby boy whom she and Mike named, Jacob and that July, Rachel and Monica gave birth within weeks of each other. Monica had a little girl named, Sophia Grace and Rachel had a boy whom she named Brian. They were officially a family of four and sometimes five. Rachel's showing at New York Fashion Week was that September and finally in June of 2006, Ross and Rachel were officially getting married. This was their moment. He stood getting ready while Mike, Sam, Jonathan, Joey and Chandler were messing around with him.

"So do you think she's run out?" Chandler asked.

"She wouldn't run out now. Please, she's done that before," Mike joked.

"You guys are funny," Ross said.

"You never know," Chandler said.

"She's not running out. Okay, she's...you guys suck," Ross said.

"Remember it's Rachel," Chandler said.

"Is this really your fourth wedding?" Mike asked.

"He just enjoys it," Joey said.

"Dad, can you tie this?" Ben asked walking over to Ross. Ross leaned in and began to tie Ben's tie. "Dad, why have you married four times?"

"Yeah, why?" Chandler asked.

"Storytime," Jonathan said.

"Well, one time was to your mom but she liked Susan better. The second one...she decided to stay in London-"

"Why?" Joey asked.

"'Cause she enjoyed it. The third was to Rachel but we felt it was better to wait," Ross said.

"Why?" Joey asked.

"I'm gonna...kick you," Ross said. "Alright, kid your tie is tied."

"Well, I'm glad you're marrying Rachel," Ben said.

"Me too. I'm gonna take a break outside. Maybe make sure she hasn't run off," Ross said walking towards the door when Jonathan stopped him.

"Wait, dude...I have something," Jonathan said handing him a comic book. "I was working on it. A wedding gift. It's the ending of Science Boy and Two Face."

"Really? Thanks," Ross said, hugging Jonathan as he stepped outside. He glanced at the comic book. It ended perfectly and as he began walking down the hall, he saw Lauren who was now sixteen also walking down the hall with Emma and Erica. The two little girls were flower girls Lauren was helping them out.

"Daddy, daddy, look," Emma said as she threw the rose petals on the ground.

"Look," Erica said.

"Very nice," Ross said.

"Now, watch us pick up," Erica said as she bent down to pick up the rose petals and throwing them back in the basket.

"I pick up too," Emma said.

"Clearly they're taking after Monica. Thanks for helping," Ross said.

"Of course," Lauren said.

"How are you liking Los Angeles?" Ross asked.

"Good. My dad's show is awesome and he's so cool and I wish my mom's show had lasted longer but she's auditioning which is good and...and I'm gonna start to look at colleges. So my first three choices will be NYU, University of Oklahoma and USC….so no matter what I choose, it'll be like I'm home."

"If you go to NYU, maybe you can study paleontology," Ross said.

"Oh, that's not gonna happen," Lauren said. "My parents are actors...and I spent twelve years not knowing who my dad was. I'm going into psychology."

"Smart move."

"Daddy, daddy, look," Emma said, throwing the petals on the ground, "now watch me an Erica pick up."

"We're working on it," Lauren said. "Girls, you don't have to pick the petals up."

"Alright, Emma, honey, I'm gonna go find your mom," Ross said as he walked off towards the bridal suite. He knocked on the door and waited for Rachel to respond. Even though he knew it was highly unlikely, he breathed a huge sigh of relief when she responded with:

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. Can I come in?" Ross asked.

"It's bad luck to see me before our wedding."

"Rach, it's us. If we haven't destroyed us by now….we're indestructible. Even when we're on a break," Ross said.

Rachel opened the door and glared at him, "seriously, Geller."

"What? You're still here," Ross said.

"Yeah, I was thinking of running out but I'm not in the mood."

"You look amazing," Ross said, taking her in. She was in a long white gown and looked stunning.

"So do you. This is it Ross."

"We are not divorcing."

"I know. I can't believe we made it."

"I know….oh, I have a present. Our honeymoon," Ross said, handing her an envelope. She opened it and looked and she was soon beaming.

"Paris? Our honeymoon will be in Paris?" Rachel asked.

"During Paris Fashion Week. I got us tickets. I pulled some strings."

He had pulled a lot of strings. Rachel had once told him how she had gone to Paris in college and it was during Fashion Week there and no one wanted to go. She had said she had always wanted to go, so he figured out how to make that happen.

"Oh my G-d. Oh, Ross. I love you."

"I love you too," Ross said as they kissed.

"This is amazing. Wait, and what's that?" Rachel said, pointing at the comic book.

"Oh, Jonathan made it. The Adventures of Science Boy and Two Face...how it ends," Ross said.

"How does it end?" Rachel asked.

"Happily" Ross said.

"Good. Now leave," Rachel said, kissing him again. As Ross walked out, he noticed Lizzie, Phoebe and Monica were walking towards him.

"You're not allowed to see Rachel yet," Monica said.

"I'll tell you what I told her, if we haven't destroyed ourselves yet-" Ross said.

"It is true," Phoebe said.

"I still can't believe I'm attending your wedding," Lizzie said.

"Well, Liz….this is the fourth one, the chances of you attending at least one were pretty good," Phoebe said.

"Thanks, Pheebs….and this is the final one," Ross said before walking off to rejoin the guys in getting read. When the wedding began, his parents walked him down the aisle. Jack on one side and Judy other.

"So this is the last one?" Jack asked, whispering.

"Yes, dad."

"Oh, Jack. Sweetie, you look very handsome and remember to say Rachel," Judy said.

Ross let out a snort as his parents were having fun at his expense. When he reached the front, he leaned down to give a kiss to both of his parents before stepping under chuppah which was decorated with lilies. Tears filled his eyes as he stood there. This was it. Rachel had eight bridesmaids. He hadn't asked Jonathan or Sam to be groomsmen, instead just stuck with Chandler, Mike, Joey and his son. Each one walked with two bridesmaids on their arm and as each guy stepped behind Ross, they each did the lame cool guy handshake with Ross. Emma, who was four, and Erica who was two, were flower girls and with help from Lauren, they did a fantastic job at throw the flower petals and did not pick them back up. Jack was the ringbearer and as he walked down the aisle, Ben rushed to help him it out. It was very different from Ross and Rachel's first wedding. Now there were kids. He could not stop watching her as she walked down the aisle towards him. As she reached him, she was already crying.

"You can't cry yet," Ross whispered.

"I can't help it. I can't believe we made it. We actually made it," Rachel said, tears kept falling.

The ceremony began and they couldn't stop looking at each other. Yes, the others could make jokes. They could make speeches about the drama that went with Ross and Rachel, but it didn't break them. They could joke around and do what ever they wanted. None of it mattered. They were officially husband and wife. They were a family.

And that was the story of Science Boy and Two Face. Science Boy with his super human thirst for knowledge and Two Face who transformed into who she was always meant to be. There were obstacles and tears. There had been brutal fights and laughter. Inside jokes and somewhere along the line, they had a child who was the best of both of them. The end of the story was happy. It was truly their happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, that was Ross' story. Obviously, Joey's is next and there will be lots of stuff added to make his interesting. Such as the mob stuff and since Joey's is the last one, are there any scenes you felt missing from the other five that I should try to fit into Joey's?**

**There was also questions about what to do after Joey's. I had contemplated going back and re-editing Phoebe's and Chandler's to make it fit. As well as Monica's because some of it doesn't fit but some of you had suggested do Lizzie's point of view or the kids point of view. Thoughts?**


End file.
